Is your family supportive of your decision to homeschool?

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I am just curious. I am VERY blessed because for the most part we have a very supportive family. My mother in law never stops talking about it and how good the kids are doing- My mom is ok with it- she is just unsure. I am sure there are family members who are not for it but they never make it known to us. (I could probably tell you exact names but like I said, they never make it known)

 

 

 

So what about you?

[KrissiK]

Initially my mom was very against it. She'd been a ps teacher for years. Now she's supportive.

[plain jane]

Nobody on either sides of both our families has had any negative comments. We've had plenty of positive ones, including many from the PS teachers in the family. :)

 

I consider myself very blessed in that regard.

[SonshineLearner]

Yup, my parents hs me and my mother in law... lives in a different state :) I have no idea how she feels, as I haven't asked her... and she hasn't commented. :) My husband supports me minus the fact that he'd like me to make $$$ :)

[Mommyfaithe]

Surprisingly, my family has been supportive. At first, neither

side really understood what homeschooling was. My sil started homeschooling the same year as me...so we were kind of in it together. Through the years, my family became more and more supportive...and now see the benefits especially since my older kids and sil's kids have received nice scholarships to college.

 

Faithe

[MeaganS]

We aren't yet, but we're are planning to and our families know this. Mostly they are mildly curious about our reasons, with the standard "what about socialization" stuff. I think some of them don't believe me yet, but I don't think any of them are worried. Our family is pretty respectful of each others' decisions, and they know that my husband and I can handle it if we want to and probably do a good job.

[laundrycrisis]

Yes and no. They have stopped trying to argue with me and will say positive things...but now and then there are little jabs, comments or questions.

[serendipitous journey]

cool thread, esp. at the holidays ...

 

DH is very supportive of me, and of hsing now. At first he thought I'd go batty (sweet man thinks I'm brilliant! :blush:) and wasn't sure about the benefits for Button. Now that it's clear what an unusual fellow Button is, and how very very sweet, and how well he's progressing, DH thinks hsing is terrific for him. And I'm happier than I've ever been before.

 

My parents are not in the picture; my in-laws live upstairs (they have their own kitchen, etc. so the households are fairly separate). At first MIL was against it b/c of "socialization", b/c she has a wartime survivor's instinct for not doing anything Too Odd That Might Attract Attention (this is a big part of her psyche), and b/c she thought sweet Button would benefit from some bullying since our home life is so stable and supportive that without some casual cruelty he wouldn't be prepared for Life on the Outside. I kid you not. Father-in-law thought we were going to be essentially unschooling, and he himself went to a progressive school as a child where he wasn't taught much and he wishes he'd been taught more. Now that my MIL knows people with children in the public school, and hears stories, she's not so worried about what Button's missing; and the Jewish mother part of here is so so happy with his fairly rapid academic progress. And the father-in-law has noticed that we're teaching Button a lot. So everybody's pretty happy.

 

My mother's sister still thinks it's a disaster but I'm not speaking to her, either :D so it never really comes up.

[WIS0320]

Initially my mom was very against it. She'd been a ps teacher for years. Now she's supportive.

 

:iagree:

[JessReplanted]

I think that they think I am crazy... but they are very quiet about it. ;)

[Karen in CO]

My family wasn't terribly supportive of homeschooling, but they have always supported me and trusted me to do what I think is best for my kids. I don't require that they support homeschooling; they just need to respect me. I give them the same courtesy.

[oldskool]

Today my aunt called from Australia to wish me a happy Thanksgiving. She went on to ask if the kids were still homeschooled (drives me crazy when people ask if I am still homeschooling) then went on to say that school is more than about academics, but about learning social skills and how to deal with all types of people. :glare: I politely listened because I know she means well. It is very irritating though. My parents are supportive and my brothers think I am crazy. My in-laws don't understand what homeschooling is really, but they too ask at least once a month if I am still homeschooling the kids. For the last five years I have been saying yes...I guess they are hoping that it will change some day?:confused:

[littlebug42]

My siblings both homeschool so I am last in my family to join the party. I was worried about how my inlaws would take it but my MIL has never been anything but supportive. FIL was also but he passed away 6 years ago so he hasn't been around for much of our journey. I am very blessed to have the support line that I do.

[jakesask]

My mother is alright with it and understands my motivation for homeschooling; my father thinks homeschooling is a bit abnormal and maybe not the best idea. My extended family thinks it is an abysmal idea, doomed to failure, and sure to destroy my daughter.

 

I have 3 cousins who are high school teachers, and they take homeschooling as a personal insult. Years ago, one of them said, "Don't EVER homeschool. Just don't do it. End of discussion." That set the tone.

 

I think my homebirth brought everyone into touch with my propensity for "strange" behaviour, but it was just one brief event, and it turned out well, so no one could say much. Homeschooling is a much longer journey. :D

[jubilation]

My family is supportive. The extended family less so, but they are polite enough to keep it to themselves. ;)

[momto2Cs]

Well... my dad, a former ps teacher, just doesn't get it. Never has, and I doubt he ever will. My mom was totally against it at first, as was my sister (don't think my brother really cares), but my mom is 100% supportive now, which is great since she watches the kids while I am at work in the mornings. She teaches them things like cooking, sewing, etc. My sister is somewhat okay with it - she at least never says anything bad about it!

 

My MIL just thinks we're weird, but then she thinks that anyway. My BIL, who lives with us, thinks they should go to school, but he keeps quiet about it generally.

[lailasmum]

My close family are either supportive or don't express an opinion. The only non immediate family member who expresses an opinion is very supportive, she is a the wife of a now deceased distant cousin but we probably think of her like an aunt. We only see the rest of my extended family about once every 5-10 yrs so they are probably unaware we home educate, I wouldn't care what they thought anyway, they are people I barely know and have no feelings about.

Edited November 25, 2011 by lailasmum

[HelenNotOfTroy]

My in-laws are supportive. My family is not. I am pretty sure that no matter how well homeschooling may go over the years, my mother will never be supportive because she doesn't like for me to be different. But she will keep it to herself most of the time.

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[boscopup]

My MIL was thrilled! She had been hoping I'd decide to homeschool! :lol: That really shocked me, as she'd never said anything. We had been sending the kidlet to a private school, which was one she liked, but she really thought we should be homeschooling instead.

 

My parents were a bit surprised, but thought I was more than capable. They haven't shown any concern, and I think they completely agree with my decision now that they've seen how DS has done in the last year.

 

My siblings all seem supportive. I'm actually trying to talk my sister into homeschooling her youngest (he's only 3 now, so has plenty of time). She works full time, but I think her DH is home during the day. Her youngest is likely going to be "gifted", and I can see him not doing well in a public school setting. I also think my sister would make an excellent homeschooler. Her house is already FULL of books. :D She's very well read, her job is in editing (so she knows grammar), and she has a degree in math. She has the skills subjects covered. ;)

 

So far, I haven't had any lack of support from family. I have been very blessed by that!

[KristenR]

At first my parents were surprised and honestly didn't know how to take it. Of course the socialization word kept popping up but lately they seem to have adjusted to the decision. I don't get as many :001_huh: or :glare: looks . And the questions they occasionally ask seem to be more thoughtful. I guess the proof is in the pudding. They have well adjusted, social-able, smart granddaughters so they can't complain.

The extended family doesn't really bring it up. I think they think it odd since I am the first that I know of in my family to head down this path. I think they believe {hope} that as my daughters get older I will jump ship and settle for a normal ps path. :tongue_smilie:

[Carrie12345]

Mixed opinions in my family, but we rarely hear any negative comments at this point, in our 5th year.

[Cassy]

My parents have passed away. I have an uncle who is in his late seventies who doesn't seem to quite understand what homeschooling is; he just nods and smiles when we mention it, but seems to imagine that they go to school as well as being homeschooled :confused:.

 

MIL and I had a bit of an argument when she first discovered that I was homeschooling DS10, who was 8 yo at the time. She let me know how much she disapproved and how she thought he'd be "better off being with other boys". We didn't fall out about it, but I decided at the time that given how little general support I got from her, and how lacking she was in any kind of affection or appreciation for me, then I'd be better off seeing as little as possible of her. I've seen her just once and spoken once to her on the phone since that conversation just over two years ago.

 

Homeschooling has been a great success here, and DH is very supportive, and very proud of what we've achieved. He does an excellent PR job when faced with any sceptics.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I think they secretly think we're nuts but they have never given me their opinion.

[Bluegoat]

My family is pretty supportive. Some think I'm a bit nuts to want to be home with the kids all day I suspect. My mom is quite supportive, though she occasionally reminds me to make sure I remember that each child is different and not to treat them all like they need the same things. I think she figures my oldest is really well served by homeschooling but my others might not be because of personality differences.

 

My dad was not supportive at first. In part I think he thought I'd be overwhelmed with three kids and my dh away half the year. He would also say things like "every kid deserves a teacher that can pay attention to them" which I thought was so funny. Like kids get individual attention in a class of 25, especially the quiet ones who do their work without a problem like dd!

 

My dad has been pleasantly surprised though, and doesn't seem to worry about it any more.

[prairiegirl]

Dh's family is dead set against homeschooling. We hear subtle remarks but I let them go over my head. We don't talk homeschooling with them at all.

 

I thought my family was supportive but as the years go on, my mom has said some things that make think that she doesn't approve but has kept it all to herself. My sister and I don't talk about homeschooling either. My brother, bless his heart, is the only one in my family who actually asks me what we are doing in the day to day stuff.

[Spock]

My parents are very supportive. (My younger brother was homeschooled for a year and a half.)

 

My husband's parents are from another country and have very little education (1st-2nd grade), and don't really have an opinion. My MIL doesn't like me or my kids anyway, and doesn't care much.

 

My husband's sisters are always asking how long the kids will be homeschooled, and "When are they going to start real school?", even after two of them have graduated. They just think we are eccentric, though. (All of my husband's siblings except one have a high school diploma or some college.)

[Hedgehog]

We have all parts of the spectrum here :lol:

 

MIL thinks homeschooling is the bee's knees, probably in part because she homeschooled DH through elementary and middle school. She also loves the way that our kids are different to other kids she sees - ie, they actually like playing together, they can communicate well with adults, they're not sheep, etc. She attributes this to HSing. It's all good. ;)

 

Two of my cousins are planning to homeschool (their kids are currently of preschool age) so they are very positive about HSing.

 

Their mother, my aunt, is accepting and I think she sits on the fence, waiting to see the results.

 

My dad was a PS teacher, and my mum a school administrator, but they are surprisingly positive about it, and also practically supportive. They like to keep in touch - maybe partly to see how the kids are getting on? - and at various times they've done "schoolwork" on the phone, like spelling tests, listening to someone read, or mental math games. They're always happy to hear how the kids are getting on. If they have any reservations about HSing, they've kept them pretty quiet.

 

One sister has expressed some uncertainty about HSing in the past, but we had a little chat about it, and it hasn't come up since. :tongue_smilie:

 

The other sister said to my face, "I think homeschooling is okay as long as you do it properly" (so what exactly are you saying?!). But behind my back she apparently says that she doesn't think HSing is a valid educational option. :confused: I think I'm the only person she knows who homeschools, and we might see her once or twice a year.. and talk on the phone a similar amount.. so I'm not quite sure what she's basing that opinion on. Clearly our universities don't share it, since the University of Oxford recently accepted a homeschooled applicant without an exam to his name, and by all accounts he's doing really well. :D

[Blossom'sGirl]

The dynamics are a little different on my husband's side of the family where homeschooling is the norm. Dh and his brother were both home schooled. Recently dh's brother put his children in public school, and we are trying to be supportive for that.

[Mrs. Lilac]

My DH's family thinks we're a little crazy, is the vibe I get, and I think they're really shocked we're STILL doing it.....yes, we also get those "are you STILL homeschooling?" comments. :) We don't communicate with them much, though, so it's all good.

 

My parents were NOT fans at first. Just so foreign to the way they did things....."well, if public school was good enough for us...." My dad has been completely converted....he loves all the different books and projects they get into, the quirky words in their vocabulary from being read to from great books, and the ways that they're really close to their siblings and a little different (in a good way) from other kids. My mom is still not a fan- she has basically said flat out that kids are meant to spend most of every day with other kids their own age, so there's no format of homeschooling that would be adequate in her book. Oh well, right? :)

 

That's why it's SOOOO nice to have this board of like-minded friends! :)

[TheApprentice]

They are not totally supportive. They don't mind me home schooling now, but think for High school, they need to be in a brick and mortar. Because of all those wonderful opportunities high schools offer, you know.:glare:

[Ester Maria]

I am not sure I would use the word supportive. They are tolerant of our parental and educational choices, but in a diplomatic fashion. They do not interfere with that choice nor speak negatively against it in front of the children, but if it were up to them, DDs would not be homeschooled.

[Farrar]

Very supportive. Sometimes they ask questions, but always respectfully. I'm blessed to have family that trusts me and my parenting so much.

[Mandy in TN]

My mom is the only relative who is active in my children's lives. (In my in-laws defense- they live in Iran and don't speak English.) So, other than dh and myself, my mom's opinion is the only one that has any impact. She is delighted that we have chosen to homeschool and shows this with both financial and emotional support.:D

 

I know that there are some members of my family who are not as enthusiastic, but I'm a pretty forthright gal (as is my mom). When I made this decision well over 10 years ago, we all said what we felt we needed to say. (We don't become angry. We are just honest with each other and I respect that they care enough to share with me.) Since then, they have pretty much kept busy with their own lives and stayed out of mine.

 

I am thankful for my mom!

Mandy

[chepyl]

3 of DH's 6 siblings HS. They were all HSed growing up. They understand and are supportive. It is nice to have family to discuss school with. Especially since we have 4first graders! One goes to PS, the rest are HSed.

 

My parents, however, were not thrilled. They saw the result of my DH's homeschooling (which was not finished because his mom died) and they are concerned. I would have never considered HSing until I met some friend's who did it very successfully. My parents are slowly coming around. They see that DS would not be well placed in PS. They also see what he is learning and are impressed.

[Michelle in MD]

When I began hs'ing it was the week of the 9/11 attacks in 2001. As we lived in the DC area, my parents were so relieved that the children (six of them at the time) were safe at home, not on lockdown at the public schools as my friends' children were on that fateful day. Since that time we have added four more children to our family and hs'ing has become as much a part of our life as the large family dynamics that we experience. Thankfully for us, my parents (and in-laws) are completely supportive of both.

[TheAutumnOak]

I wouldn't say my family is supportive, but they don't say anything...They would be happy if I put the boys in school, but since I don't really have a close relationship with family, I don't really hear anything negative...They have made all the negative comments they were going to make in the past, now they say nothing...They are not antagonistic, but they are not supportive either...

[ErinE]

My family has made negative comments about HS in the past, but haven't said anything to me since I made the decision to HS. My family knows my frustration with my son's PS experience. For the last few months he was in PS, he basically worked on a packet of busywork (mazes, puzzles, etc.), because he had completed everything for his grade level. At least now he's working at his level. I have had a few comments from dh's family, but they were more strange than negative. For example, dd completed her K math quickly so we moved to the next level. Dh's mother said, "You don't want her to be too smart. How would she talk to her friends?" Very puzzling. Poor hubby had to listen to me rant and rave for five minutes...

[Alicia64]

Yes and no. They have stopped trying to argue with me and will say positive things...but now and then there are little jabs, comments or questions.

 

This is how my parents act and my MIL doesn't say anything. Oddly, after 2.5 years, I think my parents might be somewhat. . . somewhat. . . "seeing the light" because my kids are wholesome, good kids.

 

Compared to my niece and nephew who go to ps and have real attitude problems. And they're only 7 and 10. They act older, snotty, bossy, eye-rolly, arguey etc. etc.

 

And my kids don't. They're not perfect. They're people, but my parents are blown away at how differently they behave compared to their other set of grandchildren.

 

So with family members who aren't "on board" w/ hs sometimes your best bet is to let the eventual proof be in the pudding.

 

Alley

[justLisa]

Everyone I know has been very supportive. Usually whatever opinion one might have had prior to meeting my kids is tossed out the window. We have had new friendships, in which I have met parents long after the children became friends, and when they find out we home school they are pleasantly surprised. Sometimes people think of HSed kids as being the type that cannot fit in to school for some reason. SO not the case! My DD actually wanted to go to school in K, however I believe she was dreaming of the big yellow bus and had no idea the reality. Not to say my kids are perfect but they are bright, think/do things for themselves, have SO much common sense, and seem to fit in wherever they are comfortably. They have a very good sense of themselves, and I sense in part because they do not have to deal with all of the social stress/pressure all day. They enjoy adult conversation and are very polite, and many times parents compliment that.

 

My FIL believes the government uses school to take kids away from family so they can brainwash them, so, no doubt he is thrilled that we are able to instill family values in our children LOL.

 

MY dad probably wished at first I would send them to a private Christian school, but my mom always wanted me to HS. I was HSEd a number of years myself.

 

What matters most, is *I* couldn't be happier about it. My kids are thriving, we don't have to be in a mad rush all the time and we get to thoroughly enjoy the holidays.

 

Hurray for a day off for Christmas shopping!!! Seriously we do our own days off, and never take off days like Veteran's day or Columbus day like he PS because we LOVE taking a day off to Christmas shop without all the crazy crowds before school lets out for winter break!

Edited November 25, 2011 by 425lisamarie

[asmall]

Before my kids were old enough to go to school, my in-laws talked about homeschooling and how great it is. Then when we decided to homeschool, they stopped talking about it. Now, their other grandchildren go to public school and all we here is about how great public school is. Sometimes you just have to let it in one ear and out the other.

AL

[momto2Cs]

This reminds me of a conversation I had with an Asian lady at the library. I was heading in to a homeschool group meeting we were a part of years ago. She was asking me what it was about (a bunch of kids during school time playing at the library). I told her it was a homeschool group. She wanted to know if that was the school. I said no it's just a group of homeschoolers who get together to hang out. The conversation just went around and around and in the end I don't think she had any idea what homeschooling was. She seemed to figure that I sent my kids to school and did these extra activities with them. Oy! Whatever lady. :001_huh::D

 

We went on a field trip once and the docent leading our group asked what kind of schedule we followed when we all met at someone's home for schooling. It was, well... an interesting discussion!

[JennyD]

My parents are moderately supportive. I think that they both have some reservations about the whole enterprise -- my dad in particular -- but they are very supportive parents in general so they don't say much to me.

 

For my ILs, well, DH and I have both concluded that they are reserving judgment entirely until they see the results of college admissions. (I should note here that my oldest is just 6.)

 

My brother and his wife probably think it's an odd choice, but they (appropriately) say nothing. BIL (DH's brother) is our most passionate supporter and thinks that we are the Best Parents Ever for homeschooling his precious nephews. :)

Edited November 25, 2011 by JennyD

[Parker Martin]

My mom is supportive. I think she'd be supportive of pretty much anything I decided to do with the children's schooling. My brother has never expressed an opinion on it. I don't know what my extended family thinks about it, other than the one family member is who an educational specialist at a ritzy private school; she's very supportive of it. My father is dead, so I can only wish that he were around to complain about it.

 

My husband's parents don't like it, but they aren't hateful about it, and they don't undermine us to our children. I'm sure my husband's siblings think we're a little strange for homeschooling, but they don't say anything about it. My husband's extended family is EXTRAORDINARILY supportive of our homeschooling. I told my FIL that if he complained to me again about homeschooling, I would sick his sisters on him. :001_smile:

 

So, while not everyone is supportive, no one is ugly about it. I think that's fair. I'm the same way about some others' parenting decisions.

 

Nobody has to agree. They just have to be respectful and not undermine the parents.

 

ETA: Based on a conversation with my MIL today, I would say that she is now supportive of it. I don't know what happened, but I think she's come around on the idea. Yay!

Edited November 26, 2011 by Parker Martin

[La Condessa]

It took me a year to convince my husband to let me try homeschooling the kids. Our agreement is that, provided things are going well, I can continue to home school them at least through elementary, provided I agree that they will attend an actual school at some point. My hope is that he will see how well things are going and allow us to continue through, but that's a long ways off.

 

Imagine my excitement a few months ago when, after telling his mother that I'm going to home school the kids through elementary, he proceeded to adamantly defend the decision against all her protestations. He told her how extensively I researched before making the decision, how I have been studying different education models and curricula, and declared that there is no one he would rather have educating his kids than me, and that he was certain they would get better academics than they would at school. He then went on to tell her that his initial concerns had been social, but that I had satisfied him that there are so many opportunities for social interaction, and that I would make their social interaction and development a priority as well as their academic development. Woohoo!!!

 

My inlaws, particularly mother-in-law, are not for it, but my husband took the initial brunt of their disapproval when I wasn't around. They sometimes talk about how it's really not the best thing for kids, but nothing too bad. They also make comments implying that the children will go to school, so I think they may be hoping that this is just a passing fancy.

 

My family has doubts, but are generally much more careful not to offend, so I don't get direct negative comments from them. Instead I get sideways comments about how my mom once considered homeschooling my brother, but how she decided against it because he would have really missed out on the 'academic environment' at school that she couldn't have recreated at home, or about how my brother is worried about his homeschooled friend. I'm afraid that my mother feels it is a judgement on her, because she feels guilty that I was horribly bullied in school.

 

Anyways, I am hopeful that once we actually get started and they can all start to see some good results, that I will get a lot more support. But I've got my husband behind me now, and that's all I really need.

[go_go_gadget]

My parents are supportive now, but they've had to come a very long way. My mother used work herself up into near hysterics in the year leading up to when my oldest would have been starting kindergarten, and even went so far as to enroll both kids in preschool without telling me. The director is a friend of hers, who accidentally called me (her cell number and mine are only one digit different), hung up on me, then called her back to firm up details, and I happened to be at her house at the time so that's how I found out. They never went.

 

At some point during that year, we just stopped discussing it, and some time after that she apparently called ps teachers she knew to ask what they thought, and they all said that if we were homeschooling for academic rather than religious reasons that the kids would be at least as well off, if not better off, than they would be in public school. That satisfied her, and after our first "official" year last year and the very respectable trajectory the kids' progress is following, she's now recanted and said it was the right choice. My dad was concerned at first as well, but not to the same degree, and is now also very happy with the situation.

 

My former husband's parents have been against it from the beginning, but now that the kids' academic foundation is so clearly solid and they have socialization coming out of their ears, they just don't say anything. My fiance's family is fine with it, but he's not their "father" so it might be different in a few years when we have one together.

 

My sister was also against it at first, and is now a homeschool evangelical. I have no idea how my brother used to feel about it, but when he announced that his wife was pregnant a few weeks ago, he said he's been so impressed by the goblins' achievements that he plans to homeschool as well.

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm lucky that they're both supportive and circumspect. Our homeschooling is rarely a topic of conversation, period.

[ScoutTN]

My mom is still skeptical at heart, but is outwardly supportive. she's growing more genuinely supportive as she sees thew results. She's a former teacher so traditional school is hard for her to un-think.

 

All of my in laws are vehemently against homeschooling (and most everything else about our lives - religion, politics etc.). We don't bring it up and they talk meanly about us behind our backs. We ignore them as best we can.

[Testimony]

they are weird in my family. I feel that everyone is strange and if they feel that what I do is strange, it is like the pot calling the kettle black.

 

The nuclear family making the decision to homeschool is one thing. The extended family members being supportive or not is another. My husband and I have chosen to walk together and do homeschooling. I would never make such a decision without my life partner. We had these children together. My mother is not on board, but I have a church that supports me. I have a strong support group. I see my extended family members one or twice a year. They are not paying my bills.

 

Blessings,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony