Would this have made you mad?

[ByGrace3]

I wouldn't have yelled at her dogs. Why? Yelling at my dog only makes him more agitated, causing more barking. I also wouldn't have shared the tape recording with other neighbors. That is simply not necessary.

 

Well, as someone who has had her neighbor's dog wake my family an astronomical number of times, if you leave your dog outside barking in a community, expect it to get yelled at. IMO, if your dog is barking 3 feet from someone's window, you should be getting to it faster than I. I am baffled by my own neighbor that ties her dogs outside for 2 hours every morning and every evening. NOT what I want to wake up to at 6:30. I think it is beyond rude.

 

So, no, OP, you were quite reasonable with that note. I have been suffering silently (expect for the one time dh said something when dd was born and his distraught post c/s wife and infant kept getting woken up... :glare:

[myfunnybunch]

Responding the to OP without reading updates:

If I got a note like that in my mailbox, I would be horrified and apologetic and immediately move to make amends to my neighbor and deal with the dog.

 

Personally, if I was the neighbor who left the note, I'd probably have knocked on the neighbor's door and very nicely told them of the problem; otherwise (in case that wasn't an option or I was too uncomfortable with face-to-face), I'd have left out the bit about yelling at the dog so it would read a little better, but it's not an awful note. It's not like you threatened to call animal control or called their dog a rotten nuisance of a mutt.

 

I don't get the bit where they get upset with you for letting them know of the disturbance caused by their dog. :confused: Off to read the updates.

 

Cat

[plansrme]

As a dog owner, I would appreciate anyone letting me know something is wrog while I am not there. Someone near us once called dh at work because "our dog did not get up when she spoke to him and he looked depressed." While we chuckled a little, we appreciated that someone was concerned!

 

That's so sweet! With this one glaring exception, that is exactly what the rest of my neighbors would do. Our neighborhood is full of such nice people, and it kind of makes me sad for her--I highly doubt that she will experience the good neighbor moments that the rest of us do.

 

Terri

[Cheryl in NM]

I think your note was fine.

 

As the dog owner, I'd be upset that my dog barked and it was beyond my control because I was at work and it bothered my neighbors.

 

However....I would be upset that you stood on a chair telling my dog to shut up over the fence. See, at that point, the dog SHOULD be barking. It's the dogs job to notify when people encroach his territory. It annoys me when others think that my dog, in my yard, needs to stop barking at them, outside of my yard and yelling at my dog through the fence. The dog is doing what it's supposed to then.

 

It sounds like good relations with this neighbor aren't possible. If they were I would suggest getting to know the dog when the neighbor is home and with the neighbor present. Then the dog may see you as part of it's pack and may take instruction from you.

 

We correct our dogs every time they bark at a neighbor in their yard. We want our dogs to know who is supposed to be around and that those people are not to be barked at.

 

If the dog is being neglected call the pound. I do not hesitate to report neighbors who don't take care of their animals.

[QueenCat]

Well, as someone who has had her neighbor's dog wake my family an astronomical number of times, if you leave your dog outside barking in a community, expect it to get yelled at. IMO, if your dog is barking 3 feet from someone's window, you should be getting to it faster than I. I am baffled by my own neighbor that ties her dogs outside for 2 hours every morning and every evening. NOT what I want to wake up to at 6:30. I think it is beyond rude.

 

So, no, OP, you were quite reasonable with that note. I have been suffering silently (expect for the one time dh said something when dd was born and his distraught post c/s wife and infant kept getting woken up... :glare:

 

 

I don't know where you got the idea that I leave my dogs out to bark at people but you certainly imply it. I know yelling at mine agitates him, but in reality, he is not left outside without one of us within about 5 feet of the back door so we can let him in as soon as he starts barking. He barks as people go past the house, from inside the house, but my neighbors assure me that they can only hear him if they are right in front of our house. AND I NEVER said the note was unreasonable. In my first response, I said it was reasonable. Yelling isn't necessarily unreasonable, just not particularly effective, from experience with my own and other dogs.

[Cheryl in NM]

As a dog owner, I would appreciate anyone letting me know something is wrog while I am not there. Someone near us once called dh at work because "our dog did not get up when she spoke to him and he looked depressed." While we chuckled a little, we appreciated that someone was concerned!

 

This is great! Our neighbor sat with our dying dog because Dh and I couldn't get off work. She had to leave just before the dog died, but at least the dog had someone who loved her sitting with her most of the time. This neighbor also notifies us if one of the animals seems out of sorts. I love good neighbors!

 

We have one neighbor going through many and various problems and isn't home much. He has an older dog that I'm not sure will make it through the winter. I keep telling Dh that I'm going to bring that dog home and park him right by the heater vent. I check to make sure he moves every day. Poor baby! His owners are there for a part of every day, but they don't believe in bringing the bigger dogs in the house, this guy has been outside his whole life.

[QueenCat]

 

However....I would be upset that you stood on a chair telling my dog to shut up over the fence. See, at that point, the dog SHOULD be barking. It's the dogs job to notify when people encroach his territory. It annoys me when others think that my dog, in my yard, needs to stop barking at them, outside of my yard and yelling at my dog through the fence. The dog is doing what it's supposed to then.

 

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: My dog better bark at you if you are on/at my fence!!! Unless, of course, you are a friendly neighbor who he knows!

[QueenCat]

Yelling at a dog who barked ALL DAY LONG, and I don't mean intermittently--I mean, I don't know why the little thing didn't have doggy laryngitis--could not possibly have made it bark more. There were only so many hours in the day that they weren't home (8'ish), and it barked all of them. Well, all of the hours that I was home anyway. It was definitely a risk I was willing to take.

Terri

 

I'd be annoyed by the dog but I would hope my dog would bark at people that appear to possibly be coming over my fence. And jump them if they do! I really do think most of your note and frustration is reasonable. And theirs is unreasonable. Just don't know why you thought yelling would help. Perhaps going to the ONE neighbor who you'd been commiserating with is reasonable, but others, no, not.... unless your goal is to add to the neighborhood strife.

[justamouse]

I left the OP originally vague so as to avoid bias, but now that so many have weighed in unanimously, I want to be absolutely clear that I wrote the note to my neighbor; I took the muffins; it was not my dog.

 

Here's the rest of the story:

 

After I left the note, the neighbor (whom we will "Robin," 'cause that is her name) got home, but I was not home. My daughter, however, was, and reports that Robin came over and pounded on our front door and rang the doorbell repeatedly. Daughter wisely did not answer the door, but Robin went straight home and left me a vile, hate-filled, nearly incoherent message on my home voice-mail. Robin thought she'd hung up the phone, and hadn't, and I could hear her continuing to yell about me to her husband--called me a nasty name, etc.

 

Want to know what Robin does for a living? She is the assistant principal at our local middle school. Her husband, who is in the background agreeing with her, is the head principal of a high school a couple of counties over.

 

Terri

 

Wow, that's a touch whackadoo, no?

 

Oh, goody. Rude and irrational behavior. Cool. Now you get to call the cops repeatedly.

 

Let them handle it from now on.

 

Don't erase the messages.

:iagree:

[Little Nyssa]

My response to the letter (before I read that it was you:001_smile:) was that it was a little odd to mention that you had yelled back at the dog. I think I would have been a little offended, but I would have laughed it off and gone to apologize.

 

That said, I am not sure why you left a letter instead of talking to her directly? It seems that in the past you had not had any trouble with her (she totally overreacted this time). It might have been better to find her at a calm moment, and try to have a conversation with her, instead of leaving a note, which is always colder-- and a note could strike someone the wrong way if they encounter it at a stressful moment-- like just coming home from Jr High-- not that that's an excuse for her!

[melissel]

Just don't know why you thought yelling would help.

 

Having been in that situation before myself, maybe she meant that she was desperately trying to give some firm commands in the hope that might make the dog settle or hoping that yelling at it might cow it into slinking away for awhile? I tried settling a barker that way too, though I had little hope it would work.

[QueenCat]

Having been in that situation before myself, maybe she meant that she was desperately trying to give some firm commands in the hope that might make the dog settle or hoping that yelling at it might cow it into slinking away for awhile? I tried settling a barker that way too, though I had little hope it would work.

 

My response was based on the fact that the OP said she yelled at the dog to "shut up". That's not normally a command one teaches ones dogs;).

[Cheryl in NM]

Having been in that situation before myself, maybe she meant that she was desperately trying to give some firm commands in the hope that might make the dog settle or hoping that yelling at it might cow it into slinking away for awhile? I tried settling a barker that way too, though I had little hope it would work.

 

Again, why should someone else's dog listen to you. They are barking at you because they either don't know or see you as a threat or both. If they know you they are probably barking in welcome.

 

I find it odd that no one on this board thinks it's okay to discipline another's child but it's okay to issues commands to someone else's dog while that dog is in their own yard! :confused: The dog is doing what it's supposed to!

[bbkaren]

The dog obviously wasn't barking at the OP...although she didn't state specifically, she probably wasn't out in her yard all day long both days for the dog to find her a threat.

 

And keep in mind, the dog is not normally alarmed at her presence to begin with; this was unusual behavior, per the OP.

 

The dog for whatever reason, had some issues with its owners being away and needs a bark collar...or a crate inside the house.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Again, why should someone else's dog listen to you. They are barking at you because they either don't know or see you as a threat or both. If they know you they are probably barking in welcome.

 

I find it odd that no one on this board thinks it's okay to discipline another's child but it's okay to issues commands to someone else's dog while that dog is in their own yard! :confused: The dog is doing what it's supposed to!

 

Cheryl, if someone was reduced to yelling at my dog, I would know that they were totally frustrated. Sure, their method wouldn't get them anywhere but I wouldn't blame them for the frustration that was caused initially by my lack of proper supervision of my dog.

[myfunnybunch]

I agree with the poster as not to share this with other neighbours--gossip never leads to anything good.

 

Yikes. I agree. Too late, I know.

 

There is NO EXCUSE for her behavior, period. But it might have been a mix-up or misunderstanding. Perhaps someone else complained about the dog before, not as nicely, and there was a conflict.

 

Please understand, I am in no way defending your neighbor. I'm just saying her bad behavior does not justify your involvement of other neighbors.

 

Cat

[pdalley]

Cheryl, if someone was reduced to yelling at my dog, I would know that they were totally frustrated. Sure, their method wouldn't get them anywhere but I wouldn't blame them for the frustration that was caused initially by my lack of proper supervision of my dog.

:iagree:

 

 

And I have been known to yell shut up to my dogs if they are barking at frogs and such and ignoring my commands to come in. It is frustration talking. I'd much rather my neighbor leave me a note rather than call animal control about the barking.

[DianeW88]

Well, if she chooses to escalate things and continues to berate you, and the tape is as bad as you say it is....I'm sure the school board would find it interesting. ;)

[laundrycrisis]

I would only have been angry if the note was either anonymous or had a mean tone, or just a general dog-hating stance.

 

I would communicate with the neighbor again, face to face this time, and let her know that I was being nice, and that my other option would have been complaining directly to the village.

[pageta]

That said, I am not sure why you left a letter instead of talking to her directly? It seems that in the past you had not had any trouble with her (she totally overreacted this time). It might have been better to find her at a calm moment, and try to have a conversation with her, instead of leaving a note, which is always colder-- and a note could strike someone the wrong way if they encounter it at a stressful moment-- like just coming home from Jr High-- not that that's an excuse for her!

 

All those same lines, I must confess, if I had come home after a bad day/week/month (just having finished one of those myself), I would probably have had a fit, though it would have been behind closed doors and I would not have called and left a message on your phone.

 

Give her a couple days to cool off and then next week watch for a chance to talk to her and open the conversation by apologizing for your note, that you never intended to offend or upset her, and then focus on your concern for the unhappy dog.

 

If the follow-up conversation goes poorly, you'll know you're dealing with someone a bit off kilter rather than someone who just had a bad day and is blowing off steam and you simply happen to be in the way or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

 

Sorry you have to deal with this.

[TravelingChris]

OP, how much did the surveyor cost you? We have a similar problem with one of our neighbors although this is not a change from his normal behavior. This is a neighbor we share a property line with but there is no fence or hedge and I am unsure of our boundary (we just bought the house in late July).

 

We have a few neighbors that have dogs and we have one ourselves. Our mini-poodle and our one neighbors German Shepard are totally quiet- though I do know that my dog will bark for doorbells, strangers coming in, that sort of thing. But in terms of normal everyday activities, both of our dogs are quiet. Then there is another neighbor who has what looks to be an oversized Jack Russell terrier and he is left out a lot. A huge amount of the time he is left out he barks. Fortunately, we live in a large house on large property and between his house and ours are woods which means I don't hear it in many parts of the house. But this stupid animal has good hearing and if he can hear any dog anywhere in the neighborhood or further barking, he barks. My husband told me that someone has a rooster much further away and I think that would probably make him bark too. Then also they are constructing a new home about a quarter mile from my house- that probably makes him bark also. So does anyone driving or walking by. Etc, etc, etc.I am going to look into noise regulations since if this is happening still in the spring when we want to do things outside and we open up the pool, I will have to complain.

[melissel]

Cheryl, if someone was reduced to yelling at my dog, I would know that they were totally frustrated. Sure, their method wouldn't get them anywhere but I wouldn't blame them for the frustration that was caused initially by my lack of proper supervision of my dog.

 

:iagree:

 

My response was based on the fact that the OP said she yelled at the dog to "shut up". That's not normally a command one teaches ones dogs;).

 

Desperation makes us do irrational things. As I said, there may have been a tiny bit of hope that yelling at the dog might scare it and make it slink away. Yes, highly unlikely, but again, desperation makes us irrational. Listening to a barking dog for two days would reduce me to tears of frustration.

 

Again, why should someone else's dog listen to you. They are barking at you because they either don't know or see you as a threat or both. If they know you they are probably barking in welcome.

 

I find it odd that no one on this board thinks it's okay to discipline another's child but it's okay to issues commands to someone else's dog while that dog is in their own yard! :confused: The dog is doing what it's supposed to!

 

If someone else's dog is affecting me in some way and they're not there to do something about it, you'd better believe I'm going to issue commands to it. It is hardly the same thing as disciplining someone else's child. And actually, if someone else's child is alone in the backyard, with no one home, screaming and running and making outrageous noise for two days, then yes, I'm going to speak to the child! I said something to the rude children using the library as a playground the other night while their parents ignored them. I'd definitely say something to a barking dog. Just because the dog is doing what it's meant to do from a biological perspective doesn't mean it should be allowed to do it whenever and wherever. Obviously, the owners should be managing the situation, but if they're not, then it's fair to expect the OP to at least try to!

 

ETA: And just after I posted this, I realized that our neighboring barker has been left outside to do his thing yet again :glare: I guess now that our neighbors assume everyone has their windows closed, they figured it's OK to let him bark all day again :banghead:

Edited November 14, 2011 by melissel

[Cheryl in NM]

Cheryl, if someone was reduced to yelling at my dog, I would know that they were totally frustrated. Sure, their method wouldn't get them anywhere but I wouldn't blame them for the frustration that was caused initially by my lack of proper supervision of my dog.

 

I agree. I understand that OP acted under frustration (we are assuming), but it probably only added to the problem. It definitely would not cause the dog to quit barking because the moment her head popped over the fence, addressing the dog it went into protect mode, it's job.

 

:iagree:

 

 

 

Desperation makes us do irrational things. As I said, there may have been a tiny bit of hope that yelling at the dog might scare it and make it slink away. Yes, highly unlikely, but again, desperation makes us irrational. Listening to a barking dog for two days would reduce me to tears of frustration.

 

 

 

If someone else's dog is affecting me in some way and they're not there to do something about it, you'd better believe I'm going to issue commands to it. It is hardly the same thing as disciplining someone else's child. And actually, if someone else's child is alone in the backyard, with no one home, screaming and running and making outrageous noise for two days, then yes, I'm going to speak to the child! I said something to the rude children using the library as a playground the other night while their parents ignored them. I'd definitely say something to a barking dog. Just because the dog is doing what it's meant to do from a biological perspective doesn't mean it should be allowed to do it whenever and wherever. Obviously, the owners should be managing the situation, but if they're not, then it's fair to expect the OP to at least try to!

 

You really can't expect a dog that doesn't know you to obey your commands. Dogs don't work that way, especially if they are in their own yard and view you as a threat. Children, OTH, are capable of listening and complying when they are misbehaving and mom's not around. I'm not saying kids and dogs are equal, that's a ridiculous jump from the meaning of my post.

 

 

ETA: I know barking dogs are infuriating. I'm not excusing that behavior. I'm saying don't expect a dog to shut up because you (non-owner) tell it to while staring it down from the other side of the fence. Anyone who knows anything about animal behavior (dogs specifically) knows this will only add to the situation, not help it.

[plansrme]

OP, how much did the surveyor cost you?

 

$300. I half-expect the stakes to be gone when I get home today.

 

As for why I mentioned yelling at the dog, the dog wasn't barking at me. He was in a frenzy over something in their house (hmmm, maybe it was a rat, or a snake ;)). I hoped the distraction--a voice from above-- would break his concentration and the cycle of useless barking. It didn't work, obviously.

 

Terri

[Cheryl in NM]

$300. I half-expect the stakes to be gone when I get home today.

 

As for why I mentioned yelling at the dog, the dog wasn't barking at me. He was in a frenzy over something in their house (hmmm, maybe it was a rat, or a snake ;)). I hoped the distraction--a voice from above-- would break his concentration and the cycle of useless barking. It didn't work, obviously.

 

Terri

 

It's good that you noted that this was unusual behavior in this dog. As a neighbor I would have tried to determine (by line of sight) what was upsetting a normally quiet dog. I might have had to call the authorities on a break in.

 

ETA: We are rural, there are 3 families within 1/2 miles. We watch each other's houses, go into each other's yards to check on things that don't seem right (with a gun) and will call the cops if needed or shot an intruding animal if needed. Sounds like you are in a neighborhood and don't have good relations with the neighbor so this type of neighborhood watch won't work for you. So sorry, I feel totally safe with mine! We all check to see what the other's dogs are barking at.

Edited November 14, 2011 by Cheryl in NM

[melissel]

You really can't expect a dog that doesn't know you to obey your commands. Dogs don't work that way, especially if they are in their own yard and view you as a threat. Children, OTH, are capable of listening and complying when they are misbehaving and mom's not around. I'm not saying kids and dogs are equal, that's a ridiculous jump from the meaning of my post.

 

Yes, I know that, which is why I said it was irrational and a desperate measure. I wouldn't expect it to work, but I might hope it would, and it would surely vent my completely reasonable feelings on the situation. And you are the one who compared disciplining other people's children to giving commands to other people's dogs :confused: I don't think children and dogs are remotely equal, but if either one is misbehaving to the detriment of others in my presence with no parent or owner there to step in, I will attempt to do it myself in both cases.

 

And the children in the library certainly didn't comply with what I said, but at least they began to misbehave in another part of the library, away from me :glare:

[Scarlett]

I left the OP originally vague so as to avoid bias, but now that so many have weighed in unanimously, I want to be absolutely clear that I wrote the note to my neighbor; I took the muffins; it was not my dog.

 

Here's the rest of the story:

 

After I left the note, the neighbor (whom we will "Robin," 'cause that is her name) got home, but I was not home. My daughter, however, was, and reports that Robin came over and pounded on our front door and rang the doorbell repeatedly. Daughter wisely did not answer the door, but Robin went straight home and left me a vile, hate-filled, nearly incoherent message on my home voice-mail. Robin thought she'd hung up the phone, and hadn't, and I could hear her continuing to yell about me to her husband--called me a nasty name, etc.

 

Want to know what Robin does for a living? She is the assistant principal at our local middle school. Her husband, who is in the background agreeing with her, is the head principal of a high school a couple of counties over.

 

Terri

 

Wow!!! Bet ya wished you had just shot it with a plastic BB gun huh?

 

I KID! I KID!

[melissel]

Wow!!! Bet ya wished you had just shot it with a plastic BB gun huh?

 

I KID! I KID!

 

OMW!!! :lol::lol::lol:

[Alison in KY]

Wow!!! Bet ya wished you had just shot it with a plastic BB gun huh?

 

I KID! I KID!

 

Love it Scarlett!

[TranquilMind]

It would not make me angry. I would more likely be embarrassed that my dog had disturbed my neighbors. Even the tone of the note is not nasty, but states that they know this is not the dog's normal behavior and they wondered what was wrong.

Well, you are a normal person, if the thought of your dog's barking and disturbing others is a problem for you. There are a lot of awful people who just don't give a rip if their stupid dogs never shut up. I can't imagine how they have trained themselves not to hear them anymore when the neighbors want to shoot them.

 

I've moved because of people like this. Fortunately, right now, we have the normal people next door to us who bring them in when they bark and leave them inside, where they belong, when they are not home.

[Cheryl in NM]

Wow!!! Bet ya wished you had just shot it with a plastic BB gun huh?

 

I KID! I KID!

 

:lol: This is truly acceptable in our little neighborhood. Of course, we all practice safety: only pumped the BB gun once and aim for the rump and you must be pretty close to end of the usable range of the BB gun. That way it's a slight deterrent, like a horse fly bite. I know, many here don't agree with this. BTDT ad nauseum and it's probably not even legal in town.

[Brilliant]

You really can't expect a dog that doesn't know you to obey your commands.

 

 

It used to work for us. We had neighbor who would occasionally let their dog bark. If it went on, we would yell from our upstairs window which overlooked their yard, "Nikki, QUIET!". And she would be quiet.

 

She didn't know us as she was kept in her yard/house and we never had interactions with her other than this occasional yell.

[SueinNC]

......the tape is as bad as you say it is....I'm sure the school board would find it interesting. ;)

 

If that is how Robin handles a routine normal situation, She certainly shouldn't be working in a school environment with children let alone being a vice-principal.

[plansrme]

Wow!!! Bet ya wished you had just shot it with a plastic BB gun huh?

 

I KID! I KID!

 

:lol:

Possibly, maybe, this might have occurred to me.

 

I have to say that I am so very grateful that I was not home when she tried to beat down my door.

 

Terri

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

:laugh:

 

Nah…sounds like they're trying to approach you in a friendly, lighthearted way… they even acknowledged that your dog doesn't normally bother them.

 

It's the type of note I'd write myself.

 

:iagree: That is WAY nicer than I would have been if someone's dog had been barking all day.

[Live2Ride]

I've left notes also for my neighbors and their annoying dogs. It is better now that the dogs are older, but if we go outside where they can see us, they start up again...annoying! My beagle actually wears a bark collar at times if we leave for long periods during the day because we don't want her to be a nuisance.

 

Your neighbors sound nutty like mine :tongue_smilie: and she surely wouldn't have wanted me to be home when she marched herself on over. It would have been ugly.

 

Get an airsoft pellet gun that shoots rubber BBs or one of those No Bark birdhouses. I hear they work pretty good. You could set it up on a tree or fence post near their house.

[Denisemomof4]

I left the OP originally vague so as to avoid bias, but now that so many have weighed in unanimously, I want to be absolutely clear that I wrote the note to my neighbor; I took the muffins; it was not my dog.

 

Here's the rest of the story:

 

After I left the note, the neighbor (whom we will "Robin," 'cause that is her name) got home, but I was not home. My daughter, however, was, and reports that Robin came over and pounded on our front door and rang the doorbell repeatedly. Daughter wisely did not answer the door, but Robin went straight home and left me a vile, hate-filled, nearly incoherent message on my home voice-mail. Robin thought she'd hung up the phone, and hadn't, and I could hear her continuing to yell about me to her husband--called me a nasty name, etc.

 

Want to know what Robin does for a living? She is the assistant principal at our local middle school. Her husband, who is in the background agreeing with her, is the head principal of a high school a couple of counties over.

 

Terri

 

your neighbor and her husband have problems. Look, I'm a HUGE animal lover. HUGE. But I would NOT allow *my* animal to cause undue stress on other people. Having to listen to a barking dog All Day Long would drive me crazy. If I had gotten that letter, I would have gone right over to your house to apologize.

 

I see absolutely nothing wrong with your letter at all. I thought it was very nicely written.

 

I hope your neighbors come to their senses. I'm so glad I don't have any.:D Neighbors, that is. I really have none. :hurray:

[Guest submarines]

Yikes. I agree. Too late, I know.

 

There is NO EXCUSE for her behavior, period. But it might have been a mix-up or misunderstanding. Perhaps someone else complained about the dog before, not as nicely, and there was a conflict.

 

Please understand, I am in no way defending your neighbor. I'm just saying her bad behavior does not justify your involvement of other neighbors.

 

Cat

 

It seems that the OP was texting with that neighbour throughout the day while the dog was barking, and the neighbour knew about the note. Within the context, sharing about the neighbour's response is normal, and even expected. The neighbour was similarly disturbed by the barking, and was involved in the situation from the beginning. It is not like the OP called the neighbour out of the blue just to gossip.

[Guest submarines]

All those same lines, I must confess, if I had come home after a bad day/week/month (just having finished one of those myself), I would probably have had a fit, though it would have been behind closed doors and I would not have called and left a message on your phone.

 

Give her a couple days to cool off and then next week watch for a chance to talk to her and open the conversation by apologizing for your note, that you never intended to offend or upset her, and then focus on your concern for the unhappy dog.

 

If the follow-up conversation goes poorly, you'll know you're dealing with someone a bit off kilter rather than someone who just had a bad day and is blowing off steam and you simply happen to be in the way or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

 

Sorry you have to deal with this.

 

Do you really think she needs to apologize, or are you suggesting a non-confrontational conversation starter to test the waters?

 

A note is a perfectly acceptable way of communication. Not everyone wants to discuss everything in person.

[Pretty in Pink]

Do you really think she needs to apologize, or are you suggesting a non-confrontational conversation starter to test the waters?

 

A note is a perfectly acceptable way of communication. Not everyone wants to discuss everything in person.

 

Your note was fine. It's a h*ll of a lot nicer than just up and reporting them to animal control or whatever. Your neighbor sounds like a PITA, honestly.

[Cheryl in NM]

It used to work for us. We had neighbor who would occasionally let their dog bark. If it went on, we would yell from our upstairs window which overlooked their yard, "Nikki, QUIET!". And she would be quiet.

 

She didn't know us as she was kept in her yard/house and we never had interactions with her other than this occasional yell.

 

That's great. It won't work on all dogs. It obviously didn't work on this dog. If you've ever watched The Dog Whisperer, Cesar hasn't met a dog that didn't listen to him and they didn't know him before hand. So, while it can be accomplished, it's really not the norm in the run of the mill neighborhood.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Say you got home at the end of your workday to find this handwritten note in your mailbox:

 

Dear [xxx]Family,

 

This is [xxx] next door. Your dog barked all day Saturday and all day again today. Saturday, I even stood on a chair to look over the fence to yell at him, and he did not stop barking long enough to acknowledge my presence. Do you suppose you could fix whatever is wrong in his world? I know he is not usually like this.

 

Thanks,

[xxxx]

 

Please assume that the writer of the note, who lives next door to you, does not have your phone number because it is unlisted. Assume further that other than stopping by with muffins to welcome you to the neighborhood with muffins when you were moving in, you and said neighbor have not had further contact.

 

Thank you for your input.

 

Terri

 

ETA: I wrote the note! Neighbor was furious; further update below.

 

Nope wouldn't bother me. Actually a lot nicer then it could have been;).

[Susan in TN]

Do you think these people are a little extra "sensitive" :glare: because you are a homeschooler and they are public school principals?

[Natalieclare]

Say you got home at the end of your workday to find this handwritten note in your mailbox:

 

Dear [xxx]Family,

 

This is [xxx] next door. Your dog barked all day Saturday and all day again today. Saturday, I even stood on a chair to look over the fence to yell at him, and he did not stop barking long enough to acknowledge my presence. Do you suppose you could fix whatever is wrong in his world? I know he is not usually like this.

 

Thanks,

[xxxx]

 

Please assume that the writer of the note, who lives next door to you, does not have your phone number because it is unlisted. Assume further that other than stopping by with muffins to welcome you to the neighborhood with muffins when you were moving in, you and said neighbor have not had further contact.

 

Thank you for your input.

 

Terri

 

ETA: I wrote the note! Neighbor was furious; further update below.

 

Ok, I have read every page in this thread so far. I must be totally alone in my feelings, but the sentence "do you suppose you could fix whatever is wrong in his world?" really rubs me the wrong way. I think it sounds condescending.

 

I understand that your intent was not so, but that is how I would have taken it. I think I am on the, as the previous poster put it, sensitive side, though!

 

I think I would not be so hasty to consider them "whackadoos." I can think of a million reasons why someone might give a hasty, unchecked, out of temper response. Not that I think it's acceptable...just human. I think I would probably go on over for a chat, initially bringing up to them the possible misunderstanding of identities (re: previous dealings).

[GingerPoppy]

I guess I would be hasty, then, because I think they are total wackadoos. They remind me so strongly of my own, dear, multiple sets of wackadoo neighbours. :glare:

 

No matter how "human" I'm feeling at a given time, the thought of utter embarrassment later would hugely outweigh my "need" to scream insults at my neighbour's door or onto her phone. And, more importantly, there is nothing in that note that could inspire a person to be over the top angry. Embarrassed? Perhaps annoyed? Sure. But what is there to be angry about? Don't people usually save anger for pain, injustice, or insult? Yeesh. Total wackadoos. :D

[joannqn]

Wow! I'm glad I don't have your neighbors. Of course, I don't really know my neighbors all that well, yet, but they've all been really nice so far.

 

We don't allow our dog to bark outside at all. If he starts and barks more than a couple of times, we're at the back door making him come back in day or night. Continuously barking dogs are annoying.

 

I'm sorry your neighbors didn't take it well.

[Cassy]

Ok, I have read every page in this thread so far. I must be totally alone in my feelings, but the sentence "do you suppose you could fix whatever is wrong in his world?" really rubs me the wrong way. I think it sounds condescending.

 

I understand that your intent was not so, but that is how I would have taken it. I think I am on the, as the previous poster put it, sensitive side, though!

 

I think I would not be so hasty to consider them "whackadoos." I can think of a million reasons why someone might give a hasty, unchecked, out of temper response. Not that I think it's acceptable...just human. I think I would probably go on over for a chat, initially bringing up to them the possible misunderstanding of identities (re: previous dealings).

 

Actually, I agree. I don't condone the neighbours' behaviour, I think they went over the top, but the note would have wound me up a bit. Maybe it's just me, but I would have taken exception to the fact that I was approached via a note rather than face to face. I understand that, in the circumstances, it wasn't very easy to go and see them about this matter, but if it were me, in the interests of maintaining reasonable neighbourly relations, I would have gone out of my way to speak to them personally. To me the note would have seemed a bit weak and snarky.

[unsinkable]

Ok, I have read every page in this thread so far. I must be totally alone in my feelings, but the sentence "do you suppose you could fix whatever is wrong in his world?" really rubs me the wrong way. I think it sounds condescending.

 

I understand that your intent was not so, but that is how I would have taken it. I think I am on the, as the previous poster put it, sensitive side, though!

 

I think I would not be so hasty to consider them "whackadoos." I can think of a million reasons why someone might give a hasty, unchecked, out of temper response. Not that I think it's acceptable...just human. I think I would probably go on over for a chat, initially bringing up to them the possible misunderstanding of identities (re: previous dealings).

 

Actually, I agree. I don't condone the neighbours' behaviour, I think they went over the top, but the note would have wound me up a bit. Maybe it's just me, but I would have taken exception to the fact that I was approached via a note rather than face to face. I understand that, in the circumstances, it wasn't very easy to go and see them about this matter, but if it were me, in the interests of maintaining reasonable neighbourly relations, I would have gone out of my way to speak to them personally. To me the note would have seemed a bit weak and snarky.

 

I thought that line was sweet...esp. coupled with the line after it, about knowing the dog isn't usually like this.

[bbkaren]

I thought that line was sweet...esp. coupled with the line after it, about knowing the dog isn't usually like this.

 

I agree; it shows concern for the dog...and gives the benefit of the doubt, in the respect that the dog isn't usually like this - so something must be wrong.

[gardenmom5]

(snip)

You really can't expect a dog that doesn't know you to obey your commands.(snip).

 

actually, yes I can. Dogs are looking for someone to be an alpha. they will obey the alpha. (owners whose dogs do not obey them, are not alpha in their dogs world.)

 

I have had perfect strangers dog's obeying ME within five minutes when they wouldn't obey their owners.

Edited November 15, 2011 by gardenmom5