NICU Downtown

[Aubrey]

UPDATE: I'm sorry my pm box is full. It's full of such sweet notes, though, that it's going to take more energy to empty out than I've got at the moment.

 

We're going home Friday around noon. The dr who came in to see him today was great. She said outright that she could barely think of a reason to keep him--he's even gained weight. But she felt like it was irresponsible to send him home sooner than tomorrow. I completely understand & appreciated her honesty. She even *said* that while he's supposed to get a full 48 hrs of antibiotics, he didn't *really* need them. Ultimately, he's still got some barium in his intestines from the testing they did, & she wants to make sure that's all out before sending him home.

 

The nurses--last night after shift change and today--have been wonderful. It was really only the one who let me in who was difficult, & while she could have been friendlier about it, the problem was really w/ communication between the upstairs & downstairs NICU, & given the intensity of their jobs, I'm not mad at all. I was just Very Overwhelmed last night. And that one nurse didn't tell me DURING SHIFT CHANGE you have to wait--she made it sound like a Very Permanent Thing.

 

Since then, though, the nurses have brought baby to me about 30 min before shift change, & I've gotten to keep him in the room for a couple of hrs until they're done. When she brought him this morning, she hadn't told me ahead of time--just said she realized that he didn't *have* to be in there for that feeding. You know that chokey-wonderful-I'm-going-to-cry-SNORT that sometimes comes out? Yeah, when I saw she had him w/ her--wow. I mean, I like my kids. I knew I liked them. But wow. I REALLY like my kids. LOL

 

Up here, though, they've brought a rocking chair, a privacy screen (which would normally be *wonderful* but as exposed as I feel at this point, I hate for them to bother), etc. Dh investigated for me & found nursing rooms, ice, water, bottles, snacks, juice, etc. Really, the problem was just that the hospital is so quiet and dead after a certain time, you know? And I'd gotten beyond the point of asking. I was crazy-eyed & needed a cave.

 

I've had a shower, sleep, & been home to pack a bag for NICU instead of L&D. It includes snacks in case I get locked into a scary part of the hospital again. And I've had baby here w/ me in the room for at least 3 hrs this eve. His room is completely fine, but once I was alone w/ him...well, I realized I'd been missing the chance to say all the wonderful, ridiculous things you need to say to a newborn, to sing off-key, to *really* hold him.

 

I'm MUCH better today. He's fine. Thank you so, SO much for letting me...talk.

 

**************************************************

We came over by ambulance & w/in an hour, I think, they had done all of baby's testing. Everything so far looks good, surgery is probably not necessary, but he had some mec blockage that was cleaned out somewhat during one of the tests. They're watching him overnight.

 

They've got a family room so I can stay & nurse. I tried to feed him in the NICU twice, but he was sleepy, & oh my gosh. There's just not room. Of course no privacy whatsoever, but who's complaining? I'd pumped a bottle before leaving the little hospital, & I fed him that as soon as he was ok'd to eat.

 

I went back to feed him late this afternoon, but we couldn't get it together. I was taking up too much space, he wouldn't wake up, I felt rushed...so I told the nurse I'd go pump in one of the pumping rooms. She said she'd give him formula. :001_huh:

 

He was supposed to move up to grad NICU--for babies going home in 1-2 days--SO that he'd be on the same floor as me & I could nurse more easily. It took less than 15 min to pump at the little hospital, & he was supposed to move up in 30-40 min (after I'd been told he'd move up at 5 & had waited doing NOTHING for an hour & a half), so it all looked fine.

 

I went around the corner, though, & the 2 pump rooms were occupied. I stood there & just cried. The whole hospital was dead, dh had gone home, & I just felt so...helpless & alone. I wandered around the corner to a nurse's station, & they said there was 1 more pump room "if you're desperate." I don't know what that means, I'm not desperate, I'm just tired & need to feed my baby. Maybe that IS desperate, I don't know.

 

So the next nurse's station lets me into the secret pump room where I lose it again. No tissues in this whole building, & now I've used mine up. So I'm mopping up my face w/ paper towels & finally sit down to pump. I can't figure out the machine It's the same as the one I used earlier today, but there's no place to plug in the tubes.

 

When I stopped crying for the 3rd time finally, I went & found a nurse who looked at it & told me I'd left the piece that you plug the tubes into on the last machine I'd used. "It's ok," she said, "do you remember what room you were in?" Yep. In a whole other city.

 

She managed to find extra parts for me. The machine only worked on one side, so then I had to do the other side separately. Whatever. I've got a whole OUNCE of colostrum, & it only took me an hour. I've had nothing to drink all day, so it feels like my life blood in there.

 

And I'm lost. But "NICU" is easy to ask directions for. And when I get there, the nurse looks at me like I've got 4 heads. Shift change. She doesn't know me. I can't remember my name, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, & I try pointing. Ha. They figure out who I am, check, & ds has been moved up w/out me. Well, I know where to go. Kind-of.

 

I get upstairs, & the nurse who answers my buzz doesn't want to let me in.

 

"But my son's in there," I tell her.

 

"This is a children's hospital," she says. "Lots of people's kids are in here."

 

I tell her I'm supposed to stay in the family room, & she's skeptical. She tells me I can't see the baby. I explain about pumping & that I was supposed to come up w/ him. She sighs, takes me to *show* me where he is, but I still can't see him. I ask if I can just give him the bottle. The nurse takes it from me, says that IF he's hungry--no matter that he hasn't eaten all day--they'll feed it to him. And they'll supplement w/ formula.

 

Now I have to leave. Do I remember where the family room is? Yes, thank you.

 

And I go cry some more, call dh, can't get the words out I'm crying so hard by now--the hiccup kind, but try to reassure him it's nothing, because of course, I realize too late that I sound like there's something awful going on.

 

But really, why am I here? If they're not going to let me nurse...

 

People here until this floor have been very nice, but...I *knew* the nurses at the little hospital. They'd been taking care of us together for 2 days. Now I'm nobody, in the way, not a patient. I can't even go get water for fear they won't let me back in.

 

This stinks.

Edited November 11, 2011 by Aubrey

[Jen in PA]

I am so sorry!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Veritaserum]

:grouphug: That sounds miserable. You poor thing! I hope everything gets sorted with him quickly so you both can go home.

 

You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of him. Take some deep breaths and then go find yourself a big glass of water and something to eat. Have you found where to sleep? :grouphug:

[lulubelle]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

That just stinks! Sorry!

[Starr]

:grouphug: You poor thing. I am so sorry! I can't believe they won't let you see your baby. Can you talk to some of the other parents and figure the system out?

[Mommyof4ks]

:grouphug: I can't stand big hospitals for the very reasons you have described. I pray that your sweet little guy gets to go home soon away from all of that nonsense and this is a distant memory soon.

[Avila]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Take care of yourself. You need to stay hydrated to nurse or pump.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Lara in Colo]

I know that you aren't on the board any more, but I pm'd my number. Call me and I can come and visit :001_smile:

 

Lara

[MelissaMinNC]

Oh my stars. I'm so sorry. So many :grouphug: :grouphug: and prayers that you can start nursing him as soon as possible - and take your baby home soon too! NICU is so hard.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[silliness7]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[danybug]

I am still praying. As impossible as it sounds, try and get some sleep, fluids and peace. You need to keep yourself strong for little Levi. :grouphug:

[ChrisB]

:crying: :grouphug: What a tough position to be in! :grouphug:

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I want to cry for you.

[ilovemy6kids]

Ugh I am sorry this is happening to you. This sounds similar to when my Levi was in the NICU for over a week. Just keep your eye on the prize of going home with a healthy baby. I blubbered most of the week, but we made it through. If you can have visitors come to sit and chat with you. I had a few and they took my mind off missing my little guy.

Sheri

[Natalieclare]

Dearest Pencil Pusher: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

My little guy was in the NICU for the first five days of his life...so vivid memories come to mind when I read your post.

 

The tears...oh, the tears! My face was completely swollen from all the crying I'd been doing. Man, those tears were inescapable. Pretty much half of my children have had issues with breastfeeding for the first part of their little lives, and now I know that whenever feeding issues are present, I am going to be a basket case. Add the trauma to the top of that, and I was simply a puddle in the middle of the floor. In addition, I recall what havoc hormones wreak, and I am a puddle on the floor seeping down to the depths of despair. :lol::lol:

 

Do you think you have enough strength to advocate for feeding the baby breastmilk? Is that important to you? Would your husband be able to come and prop you up so you can or perhaps advocate for it himself? Our NICU seems to have had a different policy than yours, so don't think that what they are doing is standard for Children's Hospitals everywhere. Ours strongly encouraged nursing or pumping and giving the baby breastmilk.

 

Don't stop pumping! Make sure you are pumping every 2 to 3 hours. I would sometimes sit and weep and weep as I pumped. It was really quite ridiculous. Thankfully, I seemed to have the room to myself most of the time! And look about you: there might be a station somewhere very close to the NICU where you can fill up a thermos with water and ice. You've really got to take care of yourself right now.

 

Hang in there, sweetie. It will seem like the longest bit of your life, but it will probably be over in less than a week. You can do this!

[littleWMN]

They need to give you a parent nametag you can wear to identify yourself. Are there visiting hours they'll let you see him?

[Denise in IN]

That sounds awful and I'm so sorry you're having to experience it. I've done the NICU x3, it's tough to have your tiny baby in the hospital no matter what, and snippy nurses just make it so much worse.

 

Please try to get some rest. And you must drink water and eat some decent food! Your body is still healing and you need to be able to nurture your little one.

 

When you've been able to do that, I want to encourage you to advocate for yourself and your baby. You are the mom; you may be on their "turf", but the baby is yours and it's completely reasonable for you to see him, feed him, hold him, etc. within the parameters of what's allowable with his medical condition. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need and politely stand your ground for it!

 

And you will be home, and you will be able to feed your baby, and be with your family....I know it's a bumpy way to start out, but it sounds like your babe is getting better and in the long run, this will be just a blip on the screen.

 

:grouphug: Hang in there, I'm praying you can get some rest and renewed strength for tomorrow.

[swellmomma]

:grouphug: I don't understand why you can't go in to see him. I have had 3 babies in the NICU and was never kept from any of them. I was free to come and go as I pleased, in 1 level I had to be buzzed in, but the other level I was free to walk right in to my baby and sit and hold them as much as I wanted. What is their reasoning for not letting you come into see him, nurse him etc ? Sounds aweful for you and not right to keep you from him :grouphug:

[Momof3littles]

I would ask that the physician you are working with write in his chart breastmilk only or breastmilk to be given first or whatever is medically appropriate for your DS. If it is in the chart, you may get better compliance. I've heard of others using this approach successfully if they had a relationship with the doc. Have you met with the physician(s) yet? Can you ask for it to be added to his chart?

 

Can you contact a patient advocate at the hospital?

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My heart aches for any parent to have to be separated from their newborn, and it is incredibly frustrating when breastmilk isn't being provided when mom is willing and baby is cleared to receive it.

Edited November 10, 2011 by Momof3littles

[joannqn]

I know it is hard, but definitely try to pull yourself together and fight for your right to be with your baby. He needs you. Find a supervisor, patient advocate, call DH or a friend to help you.

[justamouse]

Wanna me to come pound heads?

 

My level 4 NICU BFF would ahve let you in and encouraged you to nurse. Full stop. Get angry.

[Veritaserum]

I would ask that the physician you are working with write in his chart breastmilk only or breastmilk to be given first or whatever is medically appropriate for your DS. If it is in the chart, you may get better compliance. I've heard of others using this approach successfully if they had a relationship with the doc. Have you met with the physician(s) yet? Can you ask for it to be added to his chart?

 

Can you contact a patient advocate at the hospital?

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My heart aches for any parent to have to be separated from their newborn, and it is incredibly frustrating when breastmilk isn't being provided when mom is willing and baby is cleared to receive it.

 

:iagree: Colostrum is a laxative, for cryin' out loud!

 

More :grouphug:.

[datgh]

I so feel for you as I have been in a similar situation. Can your hubby come back and stay with you or someone else who can advocate for you? Your tired, hormonal and in a strange environment which will be hard to overcome in the hospital setting. When my daughter was in the NICU I was a hormonal mess, exhausted and couldn't sound halfway coherent let alone stand my ground when it came to some of the nurses. When my husband was with me, he got our wishes across. Spend some time tonight listing what is bothering you then try to be with your baby in the monring when the doctors come on rounds and talk to them. My daughter was pretty sick with meconium asperation and the nurses told me she had to be bottle fed that after everything she had been through she wouldn't nurse. I so wanted to nurse her. I wasn't getting anywhere with the staff because like you I was overwhelmed but once my husband arrived he layed down the law and told the nurse they had to wait until we talked to the doctors before taking our daughter's feeding tube. The nurse was not happy. In the morning the doctors said why not give nursing a try. They didn't have a problem with it. The worse that would happen is that she wouldn't take to it. I had the top lactation specialist with me within an hour. By the end of the day my daughter was nursing like a pro and we went home the next day five days ahead of schedule.

[happyhomemaker25]

I am hurt and angry for you! You poor thing all of this on top of wacky hormones. You have nothing to be sorry for or excuse yourself for, you have every right to be a blubbering mess and to expect the nurses to work with you. I'm so very sorry. My prayers are going up for you even as I type this. Have a nice meal with a lot of water, grab a thermos or something so you can carry it with you.

[WistfulRidge]

Get angry.

:iagree:

 

Use those lovely pp hormones and throw a big fat fit. You're his mother they can't keep you from him. If breastfeeding is important to you then definitely throw that in there as well. He's your baby. Period.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Prayers for you and baby. Get yourself a big glass of water and something to eat and focus on the lovely thought "It will all be over soon. It will all be over soon."

[TXMomof4]

Go stand at the nurses station until you see your baby. Period. Even if you are just in a chair beside him, you need to be there for yourself as much as for him.

 

DD2 was in the NICU for 2 days and in the special care nursery for 4. It wasn't a *terrible* sitution compared to some of the other babies, so I think the nurses were a little dismissive of me and my terror. The first day I only got to see her for a few minutes. I went back to my room and just bawled. Finally, I got all my cojones in the same place and found a nursing supervisor and let her have it. I didn't care if I was irrational or mean. I was the mom. That was my baby. Don't get between us.

 

Cry for a little bit longer and then go bang some heads. (You'll feel much better).

[OrdinaryTime]

How utterly, unbelievable terrible. I am praying for you and baby.

[Sandy in Indy]

:grouphug:

 

I spent three days in the hospital with my youngest after having a wonderful home birth. The nurses couldn't have been more helpful or respectful of my wishes re: nursing. Your situation is a nightmare.

 

Find someone who will listen to you. Ask for the nursing supervisor. Insist that you get some help with nursing. They should be providing you with meals and liquids as a nursing mom.

[ktgrok]

Find a patient advocate or a supervisor, and ask for the lactation consultant.

[MariannNOVA]

Find a patient advocate or a supervisor, and ask for the lactation consultant.

 

:iagree: Our family has been praying for you all day -- and I will be up and praying for you now. Please find some water to drink, go stand at the nurse's station, and do what ktgrok suggested.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[sbgrace]

:grouphug: How horrible. Can someone come to speak up for you and make sure you have what you need to care for yourself too? :grouphug:

 

Every hospital has a patient advocate system. Sometimes they are called different things but their job is to speak up for you and resolve issues. Call the switchboard and ask who to contact at that hospital. You could just show the person your post if you don't have it in you to go over it all. I had to use that system a couple of times and both times it was a good thing for myself and my child. :grouphug:

[Aubrey]

It looks like it was a misunderstanding. They close the NICU to parents & everybody for less than an hour during shift change, so they can, well, change shifts.

 

The sign may have said that. I don't think I can read right now.

 

The nurse didn't say that. She seemed to think I should already know.

 

I don't think the NICU downstairs knows the upstairs policies, so I wasn't warned about anything.

 

Baby's nurse came & got me a little bit ago. She wanted me to take his temp & change his diaper. :confused: I couldn't tell if that was standard or if I was in trouble because dh called. Anyway, I fed him his bottle of colostrum. (It was cold, but he ate it all, was wide awake, calm, looking around.)

 

She's going to come get me for the next feeding. Did I say they gave me a "parent room" in the NICU so I could feed him? The daytime people were great about it. Night time people...may end up being ok after all, but I came in so bewildered. Somehow, I think it came off as belligerent. :001_huh:

 

Once I'd changed & fed him, sat in there for a little bit, the nurse seemed to calm down a little. I think it will be ok. And I think it will be very short, too. Tonight, shift change, go home a bit later. I'm thinking.

 

I've got tepid tap water in here to drink. No way am I going to get food now! But I think I've got some crackers in my purse that came w/ some soup the other day.

 

I'm supposed to be sleeping, but the parent room is stuck at 85 degrees, & the fold-out sofa is...terraced. And every time I close my eyes, I have these long conversations w/ myself, repeating the events of the day. I can't unwind. And I figure once I do, it will be time to feed him.

 

Hopefully a few minutes here will do the trick, though. Thank you guys so much for listening & understanding. I know it will be ok, & I even feel guilty for being upset, given the babies around mine. Mine almost shouldn't even be there. And I feel guilty to want to be w/ him & feed him--I don't see ANY other parents around.

 

I know that's backwards--you don't have to correct me. And I"m not...following the guilt? If that makes sense. Just feeling it. A little. And mostly brushing it away as best I can.

[Annie]

Your post brought back a lot of memories and the emotions that come with them. I remember the feeling of wanting nothing more than to feed my baby and wondering why there were so many people who seemed to be trying to get in the way! Of course they said they were breastfeeding friendly, but in reality, every policy seemed to be working against allowing us to be successful.

 

Formula feeding was easier for them so they kept hinting towards it. It gave them numbers to mark on their sheets and made it easier for the babies to fit their timetables. I promise that I'm a very sweet, non violent person, but my hungry, hormonal, sleep deprived self almost punched a nurse who went behind my back and spent 5 minutes trying to convince my sister to talk me into giving my LO formula when he was doing just fine on breastmilk.

 

Honestly, I had to get a little sassy to get my way. I'm sure I was the most annoying mother of the week, and I know they were whispering about me behind my back, but I didn't care. I got the time with my baby that both of us needed, and I finally wore them down to allowing me to nurse on demand instead of on their ridiculous, unrealistic, formula based schedule. I also totally hear you on the lack of space and privacy. There was none. I finally gave up and just whipped it out for the world to see. They were magically able to come up with a privacy screen going forward. :lol:

 

 

Try to take care of yourself, mama. I'm pretty sure I lived on those little grape juice cups for about two days, but I'm sure that's not ideal. Get some real food in you, and if you can't get him to nurse right now, pump, pump, pump. :grouphug: I really wish there was something I could do to help you. You'll be in my prayers.

[kwickimom]

Find a patient advocate or a supervisor, and ask for the lactation consultant.

 

This. Demand one if you can. There is no reason for you not to be with your baby. It is YOUR baby. Please try and get someone up there to help you advocate. My dd was in the NICU and it was painful, but I was by her side and breastfeeding as much as possible. :grouphug: I pray someone helps you out.

[Amy in NH]

Take your baby and go home. They are doing him more harm than good keeping you from him right now.

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[MariannNOVA]

It looks like it was a misunderstanding. They close the NICU to parents & everybody for less than an hour during shift change, so they can, well, change shifts.

 

The sign may have said that. I don't think I can read right now.

 

The nurse didn't say that. She seemed to think I should already know.

 

I don't think the NICU downstairs knows the upstairs policies, so I wasn't warned about anything.

 

Baby's nurse came & got me a little bit ago. She wanted me to take his temp & change his diaper. :confused: I couldn't tell if that was standard or if I was in trouble because dh called. Anyway, I fed him his bottle of colostrum. (It was cold, but he ate it all, was wide awake, calm, looking around.)

 

She's going to come get me for the next feeding. Did I say they gave me a "parent room" in the NICU so I could feed him? The daytime people were great about it. Night time people...may end up being ok after all, but I came in so bewildered. Somehow, I think it came off as belligerent. :001_huh:

 

Once I'd changed & fed him, sat in there for a little bit, the nurse seemed to calm down a little. I think it will be ok. And I think it will be very short, too. Tonight, shift change, go home a bit later. I'm thinking.

 

I've got tepid tap water in here to drink. No way am I going to get food now! But I think I've got some crackers in my purse that came w/ some soup the other day.

 

I'm supposed to be sleeping, but the parent room is stuck at 85 degrees, & the fold-out sofa is...terraced. And every time I close my eyes, I have these long conversations w/ myself, repeating the events of the day. I can't unwind. And I figure once I do, it will be time to feed him.

 

Hopefully a few minutes here will do the trick, though. Thank you guys so much for listening & understanding. I know it will be ok, & I even feel guilty for being upset, given the babies around mine. Mine almost shouldn't even be there. And I feel guilty to want to be w/ him & feed him--I don't see ANY other parents around.

 

I know that's backwards--you don't have to correct me. And I"m not...following the guilt? If that makes sense. Just feeling it. A little. And mostly brushing it away as best I can.

 

Oh, sweetie -- just keep writing if that helps. You do not need to try to explain anything -- Of course you want your sweet little boy in your arms and you want to feed him and hold him. Hang in there -- and, there is usually a fridge and freezer with 'stuff' for the parents - pb&j sandwiches, ice pops, try and see if you can find it or if there is someone you can ask -- I know -- take a deep breath and ask.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[WiseOwlKnits]

I'm so sorry. We had a similar NICU experience with DD1 and it was absolutely awful. Please take care of yourself and don't hesitate to advocate for yourself or find someone who can!

[joannqn]

I know it will be ok, & I even feel guilty for being upset, given the babies around mine. Mine almost shouldn't even be there. And I feel guilty to want to be w/ him & feed him--I don't see ANY other parents around.

 

Don't. You're doing the right thing. Take care of your son. When DS4 spent 8 days in the hospital with RSV at 2 weeks old, both DH and I stayed the entire time (minus going home for a shower and hug from the other kids). The nurses didn't know what to do with two parents. They told us that normally they never have more than one parent there; many of the rooms had no parents in them. I felt sad for those children and babies.

 

Oh, sweetie -- just keep writing if that helps. You do not need to try to explain anything -- Of course you want your sweet little boy in your arms and you want to feed him and hold him. Hang in there -- and, there is usually a fridge and freezer with 'stuff' for the parents - pb&j sandwiches, ice pops, try and see if you can find it or if there is someone you can ask -- I know -- take a deep breath and ask.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

:iagree:

 

The two times we've spent time in the hospital with a child, there was a lunch room of sorts with food and drinks in it. It wasn't much, but it was there.

[Beach Mom]

Praying for you tonight. May the night pass quickly by and may you and baby go home tomorrow where you can cuddle and nurse however you see fit.

 

:grouphug:

[happypamama]

I am so sorry. It sounds like a nightmare! I hope you and your precious little guy are together and nursing happily very soon. :grouphug:

[Harriet Vane]

My goodness how awful. Insist on being with your baby. Get hysterical if need be. You poor thing--you just gave birth and should not have to deal with this garbage.

 

I wish I were there to give them a piece of my mind.

 

:grouphug:

[swellmomma]

Don't. You're doing the right thing. Take care of your son. When DS4 spent 8 days in the hospital with RSV at 2 weeks old, both DH and I stayed the entire time (minus going home for a shower and hug from the other kids). The nurses didn't know what to do with two parents. They told us that normally they never have more than one parent there; many of the rooms had no parents in them. I felt sad for those children and babies.

 

 

:iagree:

 

The two times we've spent time in the hospital with a child, there was a lunch room of sorts with food and drinks in it. It wasn't much, but it was there.

 

:iagree: I completely agree. Anytime my kids have been in the hospital whether in the NICU, or the peds ward for one reason or another I stayed by their side at almost all times. Even in the NICU I rarely left to sleep or eat. I sat by the incubator and then bassinet, either holding them when I could or simply stroking a hand when I couldn't. Sitting and rocking by them. I was very vocal in my wishes which helped. No bottles, no baths were the first ones. After that nurses were not to do anything with them unless it was medically necessary, like my youngest dd had a feeding tube in her nose. They were allowed to hook her up to that AFTER I nursed to top her up or the lights for the jaundice. But I dealt with her monitors, I did her temps, I changed her diapers. If you can't stand up for yourself right now get someone else to do it for you. Most nurses are extremely kind, and once they see that you are their for your baby and don't give a patooey about anything else they go with it. Occasionally I have come across Nursezilla, and I tend to make sure those ones are not allowed near my baby at all. That is a rare rare thing. Hopefully at next shift change you will have a great nurse again. Do try to sleep. and if you have no food there, get your husband to bring you bag of snacks that you can keep with your stuff, fruit, crackers, juice boxes, water bottles etc. Stuff like that was a huge deal to me when I was rooming in (out here rooming in with a nicu baby meant staying in a parent's room of sorts. 4 of us moms there while our babies were in the NICU so we could demand feed.)

Hang in there, it is hard seeing our little ones in the nicu even if they are not as sick as the other babies. All you want to do is have a babymoon laying in bed nursing and sleeping and snuggling and can't just yet. I am sure you will be going home soon, and will get that. In the meantime put your foot down and get more respect as his mother. Even if a few talk behind your back the majority will not. Have hubby or a friend come tomorrow to spend the day with you, to help advocate for you and to bring you some food and snacks. You are not going to developing a good milk flow for him is you are starving and dehydrated. :grouphug:

[*Inna*]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[Kathleen in VA]

Praying for you, dear one.:grouphug:

[Mommyof4ks]

Glad to hear that things are better now. Someone should have explained what was going on rather than assuming you knew. I would still call patient relations at some point to let them know what happened and advise them to further train their staff. That is unacceptable.

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[caayenne]

I'm praying for you so hard, sweetie. :grouphug: It sounds like everything is going to be okay in just a little while, but I know it must feel like every second is an hour right now. Please try to get some food as soon as you can; low blood sugar can render a tired brain practically useless. And water, as much as you can stand to drink, is vital for your health and recovery.

 

I know that the nurses' job is to tend to the babies, but honestly, it makes me angry that they can't see a tired, distraught, delivered-a-baby-48-hours-ago mama and have a little compassion and care for you! I mean, in some hospitals, they would still have been pushing you to stay another night yourself for your recovery. And you absolutely should be allowed to be right by the baby's side if that's what you want. There's no reason or excuse that anyone could give that would make me feel otherwise.

 

I know your dh must be with the kids right now, and that's really important, but someone should be taking care of you, too. I hope that your childcare situation will be better tomorrow; it really sucks when you can't count on people that should be there for you. :glare: :grouphug:

 

Tomorrow morning, when you've had some sleep, please tell the nurses firmly but kindly what your wishes are. Talk to a doctor or patient advocate if at all possible. And if firm but kind doesn't work, try yelling, crying, whatever it takes. He is your baby; the doctors and nurses are working for you!

 

Hang in there. Your little guy sounds like he's doing better already, and before you know it, you will get to take him home and put all this far behind you.

 

:grouphug:,

 

Andrea

[Samiam]

Hmm, I'm just thinking that perhaps the NICU nurse who did let you in, well, is a person, a real person too, and perhaps was just having an off moment, perhaps thinking that you should have been reading the sign that is permanently posted next to the buzzer you were pushing, about being closed for shift change.

 

Just speaking from my own NICU experience, for over 2 months, when my preemies were born.

 

In general, most NICU nurses are very loving people. They almost have to be, to work in that department, it's a heart-wrenching place to work day in and day out.

 

So perhaps that particular nurse did sound a bit gruff, or perhaps, as you mentioned, so did you, and she responded badly. I wouldn't necessarily start making phone calls based on that one interaction. Now I will say, that I had one nurse that was a rude, witch every single time. I requested that she no longer be assigned to my son...I wasn't calm about it. She never was after that.

 

I'm surprised that they are mentioning formula, if the baby's chart specifically mentions BFing only. I would verify it does say that. My NICU (yes, it was mine after spending 2 1/2 months there,every single day,lol), welcomed BF and was happy to oblige parents who wanted to.

 

I do agree about becoming an advocate for your child, make sure you know exactly what is going on with him, asking every question and in general, making sure the nurses know you will be deeply involved in all aspects. Frankly, many babies there won't have that. Some are left there at birth because parents don't want to deal with their issues (so we were told), while others have parents who can not simply be there all the time. The NICU we were at was the highest level and babies from all over the state came there. We're talking babies who will have to be there for 2-4 months. Some families just have to work, and have to leave their baby at the hospital and go back home (and that could be 3-5 hours away) to work. They come on the weekends, but can not be there every day. I am sure it breaks their heart but such is their life circumstances. So nurses are used to that type of family interaction. Sure, there's probably many families like you, and like myself, who spend all day at the hospital, and as soon as the nurses realize you are one of those families, they will begin to know you and accomodate you.

 

Perhaps it was my survival technique in our dire NICU circumstances, but I entrenched myself in my son's medical needs as much as I could, and I swear, by the end, I knew enough to be a nurse,lol!

 

Keep your chin up...it will get better and your baby will be home soon.