My 15 yo tells me she is now vegan. Help!

[Haiku]

I want to support her' date=' I really do.

 

But---I don't want to buy expensive food when we're on a budget

 

I don't want to spend extra kitchen time to make this work

 

I don't want her health to suffer because she's not giving her body what it needs

[/quote']

 

You don't have to buy expensive food. I'm not sure where people got the idea that vegan food is expensive. Bananas are vegan. Pasta with marinara sauce is vegan. PB&J is vegan.

 

You wouldn't have to spend extra time in the kitchen. Your dd is certainly old enough to prepare her own meals or help you with the family's meal.

 

As long as she's not a junk-food vegan, her health won't suffer. We are vegan and my kids grow like weeds and are rarely sick.

 

When I want a vegan recipe, I just google "vegan [whatever I'm looking for recipe]" or I just google for a recipe and substitute to make it vegan, such as using egg replacer (cheap) or vegan butter (not expensive). We drink almond milk, which is somewhat expensive (I think ... I haven't bought milk in years).

 

Maybe you and your daughter could plan several vegan meals that you all could enjoy and on other nights she could make her own meals or her own main dishes. It really doesn't take much effort, though, to veganize a meal or a side. Everyone in your house can eat veggies sauteed in olive oil rather than butter, for example.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

But in my mind, fads like this come with a price.

 

I think it's unkind to call someone else's dietary decisions a "fad." I have been vegetarian for 20 years and vegan for 5. It's not a fad.

 

Tara

[SonshineLearner]

When my daughter wanted to do vegetarian, I tried for a while.. but the told her that at our house, she needs to eat as we do. I was vegetarian for a long time, and am fine with vegetarian, but she didn't have time to cook properly... and so she went along with it. I was gentle :) I have to say that I would support the "no meat" part, but not the totally vegan part. It's just so hard to eat properly without eating any animal products. Eating animal products isn't .... going against not killing animals... or the same texture as meat... I still don't eat hamburger or other nasty ground meat. The texture is just something I can't do.... (Of course, I can now have a steak, as long as I don't cook it... :)) Anyway, I wouldn't be purchasing vegan cheese or wanting her to eat soy. (Unless organic) so... she'd be stuck eating everything but the meat for me. I don't mind using Veggie Stock, so I would do that for her... As long as you have all healthy... and don't have things to fill up on that aren't "junky" then it should turn out fine ;)

[jennsmile]

The blog I posted uses a rice cooker to cook lentils and quinoa making it quick and easy and most of the recipes can be cooked in bulk and reheated. Best of luck. ;)

[TravelingChris]

I understand that for some people, it is not a fad. I do think it would be a big burden on me and at least, in my family, cause problems. Why? Not the vegetarian part which I could handle easily enough. But she couldn't eat a lot of what we cook in my house. How would we do holidays? Never cookies, never ice cream, never breakfasts with the family??? Almost everything I ever bake would be a no go- either eggs or dairy in the food. I already deal with my brother when he comes to visit- no red meat, some other issues. It would be my medical issues versus hers if it was my house. I am not supposed to eat much soy, for example. My older dd needs to eat meat, preferably red meat cooked on an iron pan. I would think that the next thing she would insist on is separate dishes and pans. So no, I wouldn't be totally supportive but I would treat it the same as if some child decided on Chinese cuisine or only Italian or something like that. It is something totally different if it is for a medical issue.

[Haiku]

Never cookies, never ice cream, never breakfasts with the family???

 

Why is this an assumption, though? Why can't you make and eat vegan cookies? My dd couldn't have soy for a long time (and we are vegan). We still had cookies. We still had ice cream. We still had breakfast with the family. Why is there so much resistance to altering some of the things people make so that they are vegan? Is it because you (proverbial you) would have to learn a new recipe? Buy some new ingredients? Eat something a little different than you're used to? Or is it just the idea that a vegan diet is just so weird and ridiculous it really shouldn't be given credence? These are mostly rhetorical questions, not directed at you specifically, but I see it so often ... it's like the idea that the rest of the family could actually eat something vegan is such a foreign, crazy, ludicrous idea that it's not even given consideration.

 

When I ask people who think that being vegan is crazy what types of vegan foods they enjoy, many can't name any. Not a single thing. I ask them, have you never eaten a carrot? An apple? Some peanuts? So many things are vegan, but people don't even consider them vegan because they have this idea that vegan=weird and crazy, so normal, everyday foods that they eat couldn't possibly be vegan.

 

I visited my (non-vegan) sister and her family recently, and we went out to breakfast with my BIL's (non-vegan) family at a diner-style restaurant. I had an english muffin with jam, some fried potatoes (I just asked that they be fried in oil, not butter), and a grapefruit for breakfast. In spite of my sister's concern I would go hungry, I had a fine, tasty breakfast.

 

Really, I would urge the OP to consider making some vegan meals for the whole family to enjoy. Some things we regularly eat: potato-lentil soup, pasta with marinara (you could even go vegan-crazy and get some meatless meatballs), bean and rice burritos, curried chickpeas, dal, pancakes; we even eat tater tots occasionally! Really, we don't eat weird stuff. We just don't add animal products to what we cook.

 

Tara

[jennsmile]

My favorite cake is vegan. Crazy chocolate cake. It gets raves from all of dh's coworkers. I agree with Tara you can make things vegan. We love using our vitamix to make icecream. I could easily make vegan icecream instead of frozen yogurt.

[jhschool]

Hi

 

Good for her!

 

She (or you) definitely need to learn to cook beans (all kinds) and whole grains!

 

Basic Recipe:

Slice and fry an onion and a clove of garlic.

Add cooked beans and cooked brown rice.

Garnish with chopped raw anything green, orange, yellow or red!

Delicious.

 

Example:

Slice and fry your onion and garlic

Add a can of chickpeas, drained

Add a cup or two of cooked brown rice.

Garnish with 5 green onions, chopped fine, and a red bell pepper,

chopped fine.

Yum!

 

Beans are SUPER CHEAP. Brown rice is SUPER CHEAP!!!

 

She's vegan, not organic, so it should be very inexpensive.

 

WATCH OUT: Do NOT let her become a candy-and-chips vegan!!!

it is NOT healthy! Do not let her eat white pasta or white rice--she

will not get proper nutrition. Cut down on her junk intake.

 

If she is willing to eat her beans (any

kind--chickpeas, black, pinto, lentils, etc.) and her brown rice (she

could also have millet--cooks just like rice, yummy, whole oats, or

barley instead of brown rice), with raw food as garnish, she should

be all set.

IMPORTANT: Salads are also good, but have her eat them *before*

the beans and rice for good digestion.

 

Good Luck and God Bless

 

J

[EmilyK]

Once a month cooking has a monthly vegetarian menu, shopping list etc. that could be pretty easily adapted to vegan.

 

onceamonthmom.com

 

Maybe this is something you could do together on a weekend? My older son loves to cook and likes riding his bike to the grocery store to get ingredients, but I'm in the same boat as you with kid with a busy schedule, and working. Otherwise he might just be our personal chef.

 

Although I'm not vegetarian or vegan, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I've really become convinced that it is healthier, and I feel some guilt about not making the change for all of our health. But right now it feels like enough of a struggle to be wheat-free for one of my kids!

 

Agree that vegan can be cheaper too.

[Impish]

Why is this an assumption, though? Why can't you make and eat vegan cookies? My dd couldn't have soy for a long time (and we are vegan). We still had cookies. We still had ice cream. We still had breakfast with the family. Why is there so much resistance to altering some of the things people make so that they are vegan? Is it because you (proverbial you) would have to learn a new recipe? Buy some new ingredients? Eat something a little different than you're used to? Or is it just the idea that a vegan diet is just so weird and ridiculous it really shouldn't be given credence? These are mostly rhetorical questions, not directed at you specifically, but I see it so often ... it's like the idea that the rest of the family could actually eat something vegan is such a foreign, crazy, ludicrous idea that it's not even given consideration.

 

When I ask people who think that being vegan is crazy what types of vegan foods they enjoy, many can't name any. Not a single thing. I ask them, have you never eaten a carrot? An apple? Some peanuts? So many things are vegan, but people don't even consider them vegan because they have this idea that vegan=weird and crazy, so normal, everyday foods that they eat couldn't possibly be vegan.

 

I visited my (non-vegan) sister and her family recently, and we went out to breakfast with my BIL's (non-vegan) family at a diner-style restaurant. I had an english muffin with jam, some fried potatoes (I just asked that they be fried in oil, not butter), and a grapefruit for breakfast. In spite of my sister's concern I would go hungry, I had a fine, tasty breakfast.

 

Really, I would urge the OP to consider making some vegan meals for the whole family to enjoy. Some things we regularly eat: potato-lentil soup, pasta with marinara (you could even go vegan-crazy and get some meatless meatballs), bean and rice burritos, curried chickpeas, dal, pancakes; we even eat tater tots occasionally! Really, we don't eat weird stuff. We just don't add animal products to what we cook.

 

Tara

Well, for me, meal times are enough stress with having to be gf, without adding in additional restrictions by choice.

 

I *have* to be gf. My family does not, and is not. Being gf isn't a choice, its a medical issue.

 

I have no problem if one of my kids were to decide to be vegan when they're older, but at the same time, I'm going to expect them to live the courage of their convictions and work to figure out how to best implement what they want. I'll help shop, find recipes, etc...but I won't be a short order cook.

 

Wolf was raised vegetarian/vegan. He flat out refuses to eat that way ever again. More than one vegetarian meal a week, and he's ready to take the kids to McDs.

 

The choice NOT to be vegan/vegetarian is as valid as the choice to be, imo. So no, I wouldn't alter the entire family's diet to accomodate one person's choices.

 

When MIL is here, I make sure she has plenty of choices. I've sat there and had her glare at me b/c our entire meals weren't vegan/vegetarian. I've told her to talk to her son.

[Mrs Mungo]

I would do my menu planning as normal. I would give her a budget. She could find appropriate substitutions for the animal products, and she could make the substitutions and cook them.

 

Let's take a typical menu:

If I were making breakfast burritos, then I could make her a scrambled tofu taco.

 

If we were having chili and cornbread for lunch, then I could make it a bean chili. I would have her add rice because rice and beans make up a complete protein.

 

If I were making spaghetti bolognese, then I could put the meat in last, separating some sauce out for her.

 

She might need to find protein substitutions for certain meals.

 

As far why the whole family *cannot* eat vegan? Why should they be limited by someone else's *choice*? A person who is *not* buying groceries, planning meals or cooking 2 or 3 meals a day? If I am planning ribs for dinner (my ds's favorite) then she needs to come up with a substitute that fits within our budget and she can cook herself. My ds shouldn't get his favorite meal because my dd has decided to be vegan?

Edited October 18, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[garddwr]

Hi Nan,

 

I haven't read the whole thread, just wanted to add one caution: occasionally vegetarianism or veganism among teenagers is associated with eating disorders such as anorexia--it's an easy way for a child to refuse the food others are eating without making her eating disorder obvious. I'm sure this is a small minority of kids who make such dietary choices, but it's good to be aware of so you can be alert for any signs. Unfortunately I have seen this scenario more than once.

[Amy in NH]

Call her pediatrician's office and get a referral to a nutritionist. Give the nutritionist a list of foods you buy. Have your daughter and the nutritionist come up with a healthy vegan diet based on your normal foods, which recipes daughter can prepare herself from those ingredients. If daughter wants to indulge herself in foods that are outside the your staples, and they are outside your food budget, daughter can get a job to support her new diet or eat what you serve.

 

You need help for healthy recipes she can prepare, and she needs to be reasonable about the cost.

[butterflymommy]

I recommend "The Supermarket Vegan" and all of Donna Klein's books. Why on earth do people think being vegan is expensive? I'll never understand this! I have cycled in and out of veganism for many years now and cost has never been an issue. I am also soy free so I don't buy any processed soy products. Veggies, grains, nuts, beans. Cheap!

 

I don't like Isa Moskowitz's recipes... vegans seem to worship her but her recipes are very sloppily written. So be careful with her books.

[butterflymommy]

WATCH OUT: Do NOT let her become a candy-and-chips vegan!!!

it is NOT healthy!

 

True... the vegan "food groups" are

 

starchy veggies

green leafy veggies

cruciferous veggies

other veggies

nuts and nut butters

beans/ legumes

fruit

whole grains

plant oils

 

A healthy vegan diet includes most or all of these in variety every day. :)

[Trish]

Here's a list of ingredients that appear animal-free, but in many cases are not:

 

Hidden Non Vegetarian Ingredients

 

I think it's good if a teen wants to start cooking her own food and doing her own laundry. This type of independence is helpful down the road! Just make sure she gets the nutrition she needs within the confines of the diet.

[Tapasnaturalles]

I'm going with most of the replies.

I'm vegan myself for quite a while now and we're living on a budget too.

My daily food is less expensive than the vegetarian meals of my husband and kids and it sure is less expensive than eating meat.

Also she's 15 yo, she can do some cooking herself. I did when I was that age.

 

I should search for more information and try to fit it in. Step by step, not all in once. First leave the dairy, than go for the E-numbers... etc etc.

It's not that difficult once you get away with it.

And if I were you, I would let her try it herself. See where she gets without your help. Offcourse under you supervising. She has to stay healthy.

Let her be vegan for a while and let her write everything down, so she can proof to you that she is still healthy and good.

I wish my parents were that open in it...

[Haiku]

My ds shouldn't get his favorite meal because my dd has decided to be vegan?

 

 

No, and that was not my point. But the idea that having one vegan child in the family means two meals must be cooked every mealtime is incorrect. I'm advocating the family eating some vegan meals, not that they switch their entire menu.

 

Tara

[Mrs Mungo]

No, and that was not my point. But the idea that having one vegan child in the family means two meals must be cooked every mealtime is incorrect. I'm advocating the family eating some vegan meals, not that they switch their entire menu.

 

Tara

 

I see. I would be fine with that. But, I would lean toward a child wanting to control her choices to be responsible for a lot of the planning, budgeting and cooking. It *can* be difficult for young people who are newly vegetarian or vegan get all of the right nutrients.

[Rosie_0801]

It *can* be difficult for young people who are newly vegetarian or vegan get all of the right nutrients.

 

Certainly, but it can be difficult for omnivores to get the right nutrients too. Vegans will usually have problems with B12, but omnivores are very likely to be deficient in iodine, calcium and iron. Putting a new vegan through a rigorous nutrition course is a great idea (well, a pain for them, but definitely good for them!) but it's just as good an idea for the omnivores in the family. How do they *know* they are getting all the right nutrients? If they haven't studied nutrition, they don't know that those sugar cravings are a magnesium/calcium deficiency, that their SAD might well be cured via dietary changes, yadda yadda. The default diet of the household might not be, and probably isn't, fulfilling everyone's nutritional needs either!

 

If Miss New-Teen-Vegan isn't allowed to eat in ways her nutrition will suffer, but everyone else in the house is, there's an interesting double standard going on.

 

Rosie

[Audrey]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

 

 

I think that the difference is that the girl made this choice. It was forced upon her like an allergy. She is also old enough to contribute to the food prep. She should do that anyway, because at some point, she'll have to make her own food. She should be taught how, and have the practice and experience to be able to make good food and good food choices when she is on her own as an adult.

[Mrs Mungo]

If Miss New-Teen-Vegan isn't allowed to eat in ways her nutrition will suffer, but everyone else in the house is, there's an interesting double standard going on.

 

Rosie

 

Well, I don't let any of my kids eat like crap. They eat fish, fruits, veggies, etc. By the time someone gave them twinkies they hoight it was the mos disgusting thing ever. But, I can only speak for myself.

 

I think that the difference is that the girl made this choice. It was forced upon her like an allergy. She is also old enough to contribute to the food prep. She should do that anyway, because at some point, she'll have to make her own food. She should be taught how, and have the practice and experience to be able to make good food and good food choices when she is on her own as an adult.

 

Exactly. I expect my kids may go through pizza binges in college, but they will likely eventually come back to the way they grew up eating.

[Rosie_0801]

Well, I don't let any of my kids eat like crap. They eat fish, fruits, veggies, etc. By the time someone gave them twinkies they hoight it was the mos disgusting thing ever. But, I can only speak for myself.

 

I wasn't accusing you of anything. And from what I've heard about twinkies, they sound so bad I'd fully approve a ban against importing them into our country. It's a freedom we don't need.:tongue_smilie:

 

Rosie

[Mrs Mungo]

I wasn't accusing you of anything. And from what I've heard about twinkies, they sound so bad I'd fully approve a ban against importing them into our country. It's a freedom we don't need.:tongue_smilie:

 

Rosie

 

I was merely explaining how things work in my own home, so that is why O said what I said.

 

And obviously you hate freedom. ;) :lol:

[ChristineW]

My favorite cake is vegan. Crazy chocolate cake. It gets raves from all of dh's coworkers. I agree with Tara you can make things vegan. We love using our vitamix to make icecream. I could easily make vegan icecream instead of frozen yogurt.

 

I agree. Unti she was 19 months old, DD had an serious intolerance to milk protein (serious enough to end up in the er twice). I made a vegan chocolate first birthday cake and it was delicious. Everyone scarfed it down. I still prefer the vegan version even though she outgrew the dairy intolerance.

 

Vegan breakfast isn't hard either. Pancakes, corn flakes with almond or rice milk, oatmeal.

[Rosie_0801]

And obviously you hate freedom. ;) :lol:

 

Yeah, you'll never know how much I censor myself on here, yet I still come back! I must hate freedom!

 

:svengo:

 

Rosie

[Pamela H in Texas]

Certainly, but it can be difficult for omnivores to get the right nutrients too. Vegans will usually have problems with B12, but omnivores are very likely to be deficient in iodine, calcium and iron. Putting a new vegan through a rigorous nutrition course is a great idea (well, a pain for them, but definitely good for them!) but it's just as good an idea for the omnivores in the family. How do they *know* they are getting all the right nutrients? If they haven't studied nutrition, they don't know that those sugar cravings are a magnesium/calcium deficiency, that their SAD might well be cured via dietary changes, yadda yadda. The default diet of the household might not be, and probably isn't, fulfilling everyone's nutritional needs either!

 

If Miss New-Teen-Vegan isn't allowed to eat in ways her nutrition will suffer, but everyone else in the house is, there's an interesting double standard going on.

 

Rosie,

 

So many times when I read your posts, I want to say, "quit being so reasonable already!"

 

Just thought I'd let ya know :)

[Soror]

Certainly, but it can be difficult for omnivores to get the right nutrients too. Vegans will usually have problems with B12, but omnivores are very likely to be deficient in iodine, calcium and iron. Putting a new vegan through a rigorous nutrition course is a great idea (well, a pain for them, but definitely good for them!) but it's just as good an idea for the omnivores in the family. How do they *know* they are getting all the right nutrients? If they haven't studied nutrition, they don't know that those sugar cravings are a magnesium/calcium deficiency, that their SAD might well be cured via dietary changes, yadda yadda. The default diet of the household might not be, and probably isn't, fulfilling everyone's nutritional needs either!

 

If Miss New-Teen-Vegan isn't allowed to eat in ways her nutrition will suffer, but everyone else in the house is, there's an interesting double standard going on.

 

Rosie

As Mrs. Mungo stated I don't let any of my kids eat crap and at the ages of 7, 4 and 1 we've already started talking about various nutrients; macro and micro.

 

Sure there are plenty that will just have a kneejerk reaction even though their own nutrition is in the toilet, but I hope plenty of us as well that pay keen attention to what we feed the kids and spend countless hrs preparing good homemade food.

[Nan in Mass]

What in the diet would help with SAD? This sounds like it would be very handy to know in New England in the winter.

[hanki]

My family has been following a mostly vegan diet for several years now. When my 17yo dd went to the doctor they recommended that she have a complete blood workup done to make sure she was not deficient in any areas because of how we ate. Her blood work came back completely normal, except her protein came back a little high :).

Edited October 19, 2011 by jjhankins97

[Bang!Zoom!]

vegan can actually be cheaper than eating meat. Usually it is. Beans, beans, and more beans. Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread. Roasted veggies and a baked potato. That kind of thing.

 

My oldest is vegan since about that age. It's just something they adapt to, be glad if she doesn't lecture. Mine did in the beginning when she converted.

 

It's not an expense issue, they find their way. Supplements and probiotics are a good idea, especially the B vitamin family.

 

She should inform her doctor.

[J-rap]

A 15yo is entirely old enough to take responsibility for her own food philosophy.

 

Sorry, I disagree. It's possible, but don't assume that a 15yo has a healthy understanding of diet and nutrition, and what her body needs.

 

The first thing I'd do is sit down and talk with her to understand why. Is it just a fad? I mean -- is she doing it because it sounds cool, or has she really thought about it and has solid reasons for giving it a try?

 

I'm not saying I'm against vegetarian eating...my own family eats meat only about once/week. But, I'm against my kids -- or anyone -- jumping into something without a good reason.

 

Also, I've known several girls personally who use this as an excuse to hide an eating disorder. Again, I'm not saying this is the case here, but I would want to understand exactly where she is coming from with her decision.

 

That said, I love vegetarian eating myself, and just feel better about eating that way. It can be very inexpensive and fulfilling.

 

If in the end, you and she decide to go through with this, I'd get her a good vegetarian cookbook and encourage her to go for it. I'd also show her how to cook a big pot of legumes; one pot of black beans can last for days and be made into a lot of different things!

[Rosie_0801]

What in the diet would help with SAD? This sounds like it would be very handy to know in New England in the winter.

 

SAD is caused by a serotonin deficiency. Correcting that will cure the SAD. Now some people's may not be able to be cured by dietary means, but we fixed mine, and I was getting it on overcast days in the middle of summer, by changing our breakfasts from pretty much carb overloads to predominantly protein. It still took about two and a half months. On the weekends we often eat beans, spinach, tomatoes, avocados and mushrooms, on week days we eat dal (usually lentils and quinoa) because it is easier! The other important part in my recovery was dh helping to allow me to sleep past dawn, by keeping the kids quiet. While we do produce serotonin throughout the day, the most important part of the day is between sunrise and two hours after. So, no wonder you people in northern latitudes have trouble with SAD, you're not going to be asleep at that time of the day. And no wonder us mammas with small kids have trouble with SAD, since at least one of the cute little bundles are waking us up before 6am each day. Now that the dietary changes have been made, I don't get the SAD even when the kids have me up before dawn for months on end. I'm merely a sleep deprived idiot, which is not nearly so bad. :P

 

Happily, the same dietary changes will contribute to rectifying your husband's dopamine deficiencies, which most men have. The prime time for dopamine production is between 10pm and midnight, so all those fellas who sit up gaming for the dopamine hits would be better off sleeping.

 

The greater the deficiency, the longer it will take to remedy, so it's easy to give up because you don't think it is working. Toast or cereal is much easier to eat when you are sleep deprived, isn't it? And a lot of insomnia results from serotonin deficiency too. If you google serotonin deficiencies, you'll also find other foods that contain the precursors to serotonin. Dates, for example, make great chocolate replacements (we eat the chocolate because it stimulates serotonin.)

 

Rosie

Edited October 19, 2011 by Rosie_0801

[Nan in Mass]

Thank you Rosie. I do ok once the snow comes and we're out playing in it. It is before that and after that that I have trouble. In September, I suddenly go from spending long daylight hours on a boat - tons of sun - too much sun, actually - to sitting inside homeschooling. Over the next two months I slow down to the immobilized point unless I make sure I get outside in the sun every sunny morning for a little while. We discovered that when one fall I slowed down so much that my husband decided I was depressed and decided to take me to Florida to his mother's for a few days of the beach. I came back all revitalized and was fine the rest of the winter and we doped out what was wrong with me. My mother has SAD and it has gotten worse as she grew older, so your advice is very welcome. I'll suggest an egg for breakfast for her. That is fairly quick and easy. Sigh - toast is so nice. And so is a cup of cocoa before bed. We wake up at 5, two hours before the sun in the winter. Hmm...

Anyway, thank you!

Nan

[KidsHappen]

15 is certainly old enough to take some responsibility for her own food choices. My youngest three are vegetarians and have been for about 7 years. When they want to know if something is vegetarian I tell them to read the lables, do research, ask questions. They make the menus and shopping lists in the house and do a great deal of the cooking. We make primarily vegetarian meals and when hubby is home he might cook some meat on the side for the two of us. If she feels strongly about it she will do the work. My kids started at about 7 or 8. Also when they first went veggie they caught a lot of grief from the extended family but they don't anymore. If she is serious about it she will keep at it in spite of the obstacles. And while fruits and veggie aren't cheap they don't cost much more than meat. This kind of diet doesn't have to be expensive.

[pqr]

Sounds like more steak for everyone else.

 

If a child wishes to follow that course, she is perhaps old enough to make such a call but I would not change anyone else's eating habits and would not buy specialty foods.

 

Come Thanksgiving you may find out that this is simply a fad, then again she may be serious either way she is reaching the point where things like this will eventually be her choice and your input will be limited.

[Oakblossoms]

http://www.amazon.com/30-Day-Vegan-Challenge-Ultimate-Compassionately/dp/0345526171 would be a perfect book!

 

Do you have a Saturday or Sunday where you can plan ahead? Plan chili and potatoes. she has her in the crockpot. Leftover chili can be eaten for a few days, made into burritos or tacos or tamale pie.

 

Have her pack leftovers after meals 3 times a week. She will always have a meal or healthy snack that way.

 

Vegan hot dogs are more expensive. But freeze them and she eats two at a time. the pack should last you four meals.

 

she will need to eat well to be a dancer. But, she has to do that anyway. Why not support her, so she can make great choices. a plus might be that the entire family starts to eat more veggies.

[eternalknot]

I want to support her' date=' I really do.

 

But---I don't want to buy expensive food when we're on a budget

 

I don't want to spend extra kitchen time to make this work

 

I don't want her health to suffer because she's not giving her body what it needs

 

Recipes, thoughts, suggestions appreciated.[/quote']

 

 

 

I grew up in a veg*n home, then married a farm kid whose meals were found and slaughtered in his own backyard. Our first few years together were quite the learning curve for each of us!

 

I felt a lot like you did -- I didn't want to buy expensive foods (meats, dairy), and I didn't want to spend extra time in the kitchen (learning new recipes, venturing into unknown territory), nor did I wish for his health to suffer because of associated side effects of a diet heavy on animal products. In the end, I realized that (for me) the role of the family was to be supportive - even through differences, and even when those differences were rooted in differing philosophies. I felt this to be true of the husband/wife dynamic, but I believe it to be especially true of the mother/child relationship.

 

I disagree with the majority of posts to this thread, particularly the ones who see this as a personal affront to their own dietary choices. I think that tends to be a projection, rather than the reality. It reminds me of how some of us decide to homeschool for very personal reasons, but our loved ones view it as a judgment on their choices (when we're just so up our own butts sorting through our educational options that anyone else's choice never remotely factored into our decision, you know?) It's a bit absurd.

 

If my 15 year old came to me and said she had decided to be an omnivore, I'd feel sad a bit ... but I wouldn't leave her to fend for herself! I wouldn't turn it into a research project, either, "requiring" she learn about saturated fats and cholesterol and all of that other stuff I'm always hearing on the news. I wouldn't increase her current labor contribution just because she had chosen a different way of eating :confused: the two aren't related at all, in my world.

 

I've been through this already with my husband, and have experienced it to a lesser extent with one of my children. We sit down and figure out how we can work her new way of living into our existing framework. It wouldn't matter to me if it was a phase, or a forever thing - it's a "right now" thing, and that's enough for me to support her. There has to be compromise and learning on both sides, but that's part of love and relationships. And if it is a phase after all, there's no suggestive sideglances asserting my own superior choices because it was never about me.

 

Maybe she goes whole hog (ha!) until Thanksgiving, but then isn't yet prepared to give up her holiday favorites. Is that cause to celebrate or snicker? How many of us are able to successfully go cold turkey (ha, again!) without succumbing to temptation, particularly around food and especially with meals associated with long-time social and/or family traditions? So say she gives up her cause for a week but jumps back on - does that make it a phase? Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter? As adults ... once we commit to something, do we never second-guess or demonstrate moments of weakness?

 

IMO it's culturally- and age-appropriate for a young woman of fifteen to try on different hats; to discover who she is, what she is, and why she is those things. This requires challenging her norms, and seeking out some of the dirt trails that deviate from the main walk. Sometimes it's coated in self-righteousness, but again - that's an annoying part of the child's maturation process and is not really a genuine judgment of the parent's choices (even when it comes across as being one).

 

The misconceptions about the veg*n diet that pervade Western culture are incredibly bizarre.

 

Moreso, perhaps, is how threatened some families feel by it (not the OP, but some of the replies really surprised me).

Edited October 20, 2011 by eternalknot