My 15 yo tells me she is now vegan. Help!

[homeschoolin'mygirls]

I want to support her, I really do.

 

But---I don't want to buy expensive food when we're on a budget

 

I don't want to spend extra kitchen time to make this work

 

I don't want her health to suffer because she's not giving her body what it needs

 

 

 

Recipes, thoughts, suggestions appreciated.

[Mama2Many4]

I understand your need of wanting to support her. But this could very well be a phase. About 6 months ago I went "all organic". I was paying $15 for 2lbs of ground beef that was pasture raised and corn fed. I spent my ENTIRE monthly food budget and couldn't feed my family because of the price of "organic". I had to dig into savings to buy more food. Then I thought, what am I doing? Shopping at Whole Foods instead of Stop and Shop? So I buy organic when it's cheaper than the normal stuff.

 

If your daughter was to eat vegan, then she'll have to get a part time job to support it. She can't expect you to foot the bill if you're providing her with adequate nutrition.

[Jenny in Florida]

I've been vegan for about 14 years. Both of my kids have been vegan since birth. My husband is vegetarian but does eat dairy products and eggs (although all I keep in the house is some cheese and occasional sour cream for him).

 

It doesn't have to be expensive or time-consuming. The only "specialty" items I buy regularly are soy milk, dairy-free margarine and some protein powder for the smoothies my drinks. I haven't priced meat, butter or regular milk for years, but I seriously doubt that our soy milk, margerine and smoothie powder are significantly more expensive.

 

How does your family eat normally? I would think it should be entirely possible to just set aside foods for your daughter before you add to them ingredients she doesn't want to eat.

[Jenny in Florida]

If your daughter was to eat vegan, then she'll have to get a part time job to support it. She can't expect you to foot the bill if you're providing her with adequate nutrition.

 

Again, "vegan" doesn't mean "expensive." It just means no animal products.

 

We eat a lot of meals based on rice and beans, which are vegan and cheap.

 

Honest, it's not that hard.

[ktgrok]

vegan can actually be cheaper than eating meat. Usually it is. Beans, beans, and more beans. Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread. Roasted veggies and a baked potato. That kind of thing.

[Teachin'Mine]

Good for her!!!

 

Rice and bean dishes are cheap and totally vegan and could work for the whole family so you're not cooking twice. :)

[Trish]

I want to support her' date=' I really do.

 

But---I don't want to buy expensive food when we're on a budget

 

I don't want to spend extra kitchen time to make this work

 

I don't want her health to suffer because she's not giving her body what it needs

 

 

 

Recipes, thoughts, suggestions appreciated.[/quote']

 

There's an amazing number of everyday things that utilize animal byproducts. Like, marshmallows.

[Soror]

At 15 I say she is way old enough to do some cooking herself. I would only make an effort in that I might have a sidedish each meal was 'safe' and some cheaper convenience foods- nuts, canned beans, fruits and veggies. I would say perhaps work with her to find some blogs or cookbooks w/ vegan recipes and then make up some menu items based on what she can do or the whole family would eat. I'd also be strict that with any major diet change she needs to make sure she is getting the nutrients they need. Teenagers can tend toward junk foods and sugar and I'd want to make sure she wasn't going to be a junk food-sugar-carb vegan.

[AK_Mom4]

I think it's appropriate to sit down with her and have her help plan menus that will work for her and for the whole family. My mostly-carnivorous family has many favorite dishes that are vegan. At 15yo, she is old enough to read a vegan cookbook - check one out from the library. Beans, rice - those fit into even a strapped budget.

 

I don't think you HAVE to eat expensive to eat vegan. But she will need to do some work to fit it into the family food budget.

[Lady Marmalade]

If she's 15 she's old enough to cook for herself. Get her a subscription to Vegetarian Times, which always has vegan recipes in it, or veg recipes that can be easily veganized. Use http://www.magazinepricesearch.com to find the best deal- I've been a subscriber to VT for 6 years or so now, and have never paid a lot for the subscription.

 

Send her to the library to pick up a copy of Veganomicon and anything else she can find by Isa Chandra Moskowitz.

 

Vegan eating can be absolutely delicious and is a healthy way of eating. I am an omnivore, but every once in a while I flit with vegetarianism and veganism, and I always eat well when I do so.

[jennsmile]

As mentioned beans.

 

Perhaps if you have a taco night have beans for her or taco lentils, and some rice.

 

Feel free to make the rest of the family regular tacos fixins.

 

Here is my friends blog.

http://cookinquinoa.blogspot.com/

 

I have to admit some of her recipes are yummy and simple.

Others I don't ever want to try...like vegan cheese.

[Impish]

At 15, she's old enough to take at least some responsibility for her choices.

 

She can get cook books, look up stuff online, etc, and you could help her to plan meals.

 

I'd support her, but I wouldn't *do* it for her.

[*********]

My dsd decided she was vegetarian when she turned 16. I've posted on here a few times about it. Her and her mother butted heads about it, and still do. Dh and I figure this is not a hill we're willing to die on. It's gotten so bad between her and her mother twice now (regarding dsd's vegetarianism and how it affects her mother's budget/meal planning, etc) that dsd has come to stay with us for a while. And while dh and I don't *agree* with her decision, it's just not important enough to us to cause strife over it. She's made plenty of other, bigger, more important decisions to disagree with her over. :tongue_smilie:

 

I really don't spend more to feed her. She does eat dairy and eggs, so if you're dd is not willing to do that, you'll have to get more creative than I do. :)

 

Two bean recipes that I always keep in the freezer for her are these refried beans and these homemade veggie burgers. She has refried beans instead of beef/chicken when we have mexican, and she says the veggie burgers are much better than store bought ones. We researched veggie burger recipes together, priced out the ingredients, made them together, etc. She really enjoyed it, and we discovered they're less than half the price of buying pre-made frozen ones. They would've been even cheaper if we had started with dry beans instead of canned. In fact, I'm pretty sure her veggie burgers are cheaper than the beef burgers the rest of us eat. :D And I'm sure the refried beans are mere pennies per serving. For those, I just made the batch, then put it in big individual globs on a cookie sheet (whatever size globs seem like a good serving size), freeze them, then put the frozen globs in a freezer bag. That way, we can defrost one serving at a time whenever she wants.

 

I took a college nutrition course last year, and my prof was a vegetarian. We learned a lot about protien needs and how to get your needs met, even without eating meat. Admitedly, this is harder if she will not eat any dairy or eggs, but it's not impossible. Protien powder, tofu, beans, nuts, and seeds will be important, and none of those are all that expensive; especially beans.

 

Talk to her and try to get her to explain why she'd like to eat vegan. Perhaps you can explain to her you'd be more comfortable/be able to accomodate her more easily if she'd be willing to still eat dairy and eggs, if she has no objections to that.

 

Hmm, what else do we do...

 

I try to keep sunflower seeds around that dsd likes, and can add to salads. She likes natural peanut butter, eggs, and yogurt, too. I've been meaning to ask her if she'd like to try greek yogurt, as it has twice as much protien per serving. If I'm making something that I can leave the meat out of until the end, I do. Like I make spaghetti sauce, take out a portion for her, then add the ground beef. I also have a broccoli soup recipe that I subbed veggie broth for the chicken broth, and now it's vegan. She loves it. You can do that with lots of soups that don't contain meat, but call for beef or chicken broth. Just sub veggie broth, and you're good to go.

 

I say, get her as involved as possible. Research with her what her protien needs are for her height/weight/age/activity level, and then brainstorm ways she can meet those requirements while keeping to your budget. It will be a great life lesson for her about how her decisions and convictions affect others, as well as how they'll affect her *own* budget in the future.

 

For dsd and I, even though I didn't agree with her decision, it has ended up being a bonding experience. Who knew. :) Pick your battles, and all that. At least, that's how it worked for us.

[Anita in NC]

My son decided to be a vegetarian at age 8. His older brother and myself decided to join him with a vegetarian life style. Four years later and we are all sticking with it.

 

My husband and youngest son still eat meat (rarely). They are happy to eat vegetarian 99% of the time.

 

Vegan does not mean expensive or difficult. Plus, your DD is certainly old enough to help fix meals.

[Lara in Colo]

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/vegan-red-lentil-soup/detail.aspx

 

This is really good and makes a lot of soup.

I use one cup of squash and one cup of yam.

I use more coconut milk and I cannot even find fenugreek seeds so those are out.

 

 

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/vegan-mexican-stew/detail.aspx

 

This is cheap and easy and also makes a lot.

[Ellie]

Her body will get what it needs.

 

You don't have to buy expensive food.

 

And ITA--at her age, she's old enough to be responsible for some of her own cooking.

 

My dd went through this. Ugh. She eventually outgrew it.

 

The McDougal Diet is pretty much vegan. Maybe you can check it out of your local library and read up on it.

[CalicoKat]

At 15, she's old enough to take at least some responsibility for her choices.

 

She can get cook books, look up stuff online, etc, and you could help her to plan meals.

 

[b]I'd support her, but I wouldn't *do* it for her.[/b]

 

:iagree: completely agree. Maybe give her a weekly budget and let her rip.

[Jenny in Florida]

I'd support her, but I wouldn't *do* it for her.

 

:iagree: completely agree. Maybe give her a weekly budget and let her rip.

 

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

[Jenny in Florida]

My dd went through this. Ugh. She eventually outgrew it.

 

Huh. I'm 46 and haven't "outgrown" it yet. I'll let you know if I ever do, though.

[dangermom]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

 

I have a kid who develops a new allergy every so often, and if she wanted to become vegan at age 15 I'd tell her to do some research and some cooking.

 

When a teenager comes to an already-overwhelmed mom and announces that she's changing her diet to something philosophical, it can sound pretty entitled. Mom's reaction may be "I can barely get dinner on the table every night as it is, and now you want me to spend money I don't have and learn to cook a bunch of new things??"

 

A 15yo is entirely old enough to take responsibility for her own food philosophy. Any 15yo ought to be learning to cook anyway--independence is right around the corner. A 15yo who wants to turn vegan is welcome to do so in my household, but she'll be doing a lot of food research and cooking a lot. (OK, that's somewhat theoretical; if my daughter actually tried to go vegan she'd starve. She is allergic to most plant-based proteins. I miss lentils.)

 

A medical necessity is something different; it can't be helped and Mom may not be happy, but she'll do the work as a matter of course to keep the kid healthy. I should say though, that in fact I would expect a 15yo with a new allergy to do a lot of research and learn to cook around it--because pretty soon she'll be out on her own and she'll have to know how to deal with it.

Edited October 17, 2011 by dangermom

[bbmom]

The vegetarian family cookbook by Nava Atlas is great, recipes are easy, and it has lots of vegan or vegan friendly recipes. veganlunchbox.blogspot.com is great as well.

 

Products I like that are vegan, high in protein, and not ridiculously high in price-almond milk, almond milk yogurt-seriously I like this better than regular yogut, tofu (she can fry a little bit in oil with seasonings and put on salad, can make a tofu scramble with soft tofu-add veggies and seasonings-nutritional yeast even gives it a little bit of a cheesy flavor, mix with a sauce and veggies and eat over rice, etc.)frozen black bean burgers, hummus, and nut butters. A lot of the "meat replacements" are vegan as well.

 

I agree that she is old enough to take more responsibiliy for preparing or helping to prepare her food-maybe you can sit down with her and go over the meal plans for the week, letting her give input on how she could make the meal work for her. I went vegetarian as a teenager and my mom was thankfully very supportive-one thing I did see with some of my vegan friends though was that veganism was their way to hide an eating disorder, so monitoring her protein/fat and amount of food is important at the beginning if you think there is any possibility that this may be an issue. She should also make sure to look up what supplemental vitamins she will need.

[*********]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

 

Jenny, I'll take a stab at answering this. Not that I'm answering for the other ladies, but here's my experience, anyway.

 

When a child decides to become vegetarian in a house full of meat eaters, it can feel as if the child is making a moral judgement against the parents. If the child decides that eating meat is 'wrong' for some reason, then the parent might feel defensive, since the parent not only eats meat, but teaches their children that there's nothing wrong with it; or even, in fact, that eating meat is the way things *should* be according to their beliefs. In a way, it can feel like a type of rebellion from your child. And to be honest, I suspect many teenagers see the 'rebellious' side of becoming vegetarian as a plus; mom and dad can't *make* me eat meat, ha ha, I'm doing something you have no control over. That sort of thing. Not saying ALL the time, but frequently. Now, that'd certainly not be the case if the children were raised in a veggie home, or if someone decided to become veggie when grown and on their own.

 

Deciding to become vegan or vegetarian is so different from a food allergy, I can't even really compare the two. One is a choice, the other is not.

 

That being said, dh and I were already quite aware that dsd does not hold to MANY of our convictions and beliefs, so her deciding to become vegetarian was not that shocking to us. But we have a special situation in that she primarily lives with her mother, and spends about 1/3 of her time here. So, it's less 'intense' than if, say, one of my little boys decided to become vegan. That'd be a whole other story. Because we are teaching the boys that the Lord provided animals as one source of food, as well as for other things (clothes, etc). If they decided that they no longer believed that and wanted to become vegan, I think we'd have a bigger issue on our hands than veganism. What I'm saying is that dh and I were already aware that there was a 'bigger issue' with dsd, so the vegetarianism wasn't as much of a shocker.

 

Hope that made a little sense at least. :)

[Impish]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

Because 15 is old enough to be responsible for their choices in some regards.

 

Because I'm not a short order cook.

 

Because choosing to eat differently from the family is fine, but with it comes more work, more planning, and I don't think that Mom should be the one to shoulder that. As much as I respect her right to make this choice, there are issues that come along with it, and she needs to take the majority of the responsibility for it.

 

I'm fine with helping, but not doing it all.

 

Allergies are a medical issue. Completely different, imo. I'm already having to do gf for me, adding in a vegan diet on top of it would simply put me over the edge.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would make this into a fun school research project! She can research what it means to be vegan, what foods she will need to eat to have a well balanced diet, and she can learn to cook for herself and the family. Obviously she will need to go shopping with you to ensure she has what she needs to eat well, and you can even go so far as to give her a reasonable budget amount to work with for foods that she needs that you don't normally buy. If she wants expensive products then she can babysit or do house work for others to earn extra money.

 

Good for you for supporting her, and it may end up being a phase if you are not arguing about. :001_smile:

[Jenny in Florida]

house full of meat eaters, it can feel as if the child is making a moral judgement against the parents.

 

That, along with the whole "it's just a phase" thing, is pretty much what I thought. It sounds to me as though the parents are seeing this decision as either a slap in the face or a silly, entitled kid making a scene.

 

So, in the name of trying to help those parents understand their kids, I'll just say that I wanted to go vegetarian from the time I was quite young. The whole idea of eating animals was appaling to me. I grew up in an omnivorous family, but I felt strongly about the wrongness of it pretty much from the moment I figured out that meat was dead animals.

 

I got no support and no respect from my parents about this. It was laughed off as a "phase," and I was treated as though my beliefs and feelings were a big irritation.

 

I started cooking for myself fairly early, too, mostly because my mother didn't cook much. From the time I started taking control, I leaned toward vegetarian foods. Unfortunately, because I had no one to teach me about vegetarian nutrition, I survived mostly on Kraft macaroni and cheese, french fries and things made with Bisquick for years.

 

Once I moved out, I went vegetarian "officially," and I started reading and learning on my own.

 

I've been vegetarian now for over 25 years and vegan for 14-ish, and I'm still resentful of the way my parents pooh-poohed my beliefs.

 

I'm not suggesting that a teen can't or shouldn't be learning to cook and taking some responsibility for his or her own needs. I believe ALL teens should be doing that. But I am more than a little put off by the idea that, if a teen has the audacity to believe something different from her parents, she should suddenly be left to fend for herself.

 

I can't imagine how that's good for any parent-child relationship.

[kiana]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

 

It's not so much the veganism, as the "different food than the rest of the family for a non-medical reason."

 

Having your own philosophical convictions is fine -- but requiring the entire family to join you or modify their own convictions isn't.

 

You'd probably see similar reactions if a child from a family of Jewish heritage suddenly wanted to start keeping kosher, when the family never had before, or if a child suddenly wanted to join a church which was different than the rest of the family and required a significant drive in each direction, or if a child from a homeschooled family wanted to start attending the local school but needed transportation, or ...

 

ETA: There's a huge difference between "Fend for yourself, tough luck" and "Great, here's a vegetarian cookbook, and you can start putting the things you need on the shopping list, and if they're expensive I expect some contribution."

[mommymilkies]

Again, "vegan" doesn't mean "expensive." It just means no animal products.

 

We eat a lot of meals based on rice and beans, which are vegan and cheap.

 

Honest, it's not that hard.

 

I agree. And anything special and expensive can be bought by your 15 yo with her money. It's easy to make it expensive, but it doesn't have to be. And she can help cook her own food! My 10 yo is a vegetarian and helps cook almost all of her own food if it's separate from what I'm making. I don't like meat much, so it's not too often, but she wants to be a chef and it's good practice.

 

I have been on and off veg most of my life. I disagree that it's like food allergies. Veganism is a choice. And I don't expect other people to accommodate. It's nice if they do, though.

[Parker Martin]

You'll probably want to google "vegan supplements." It can be tricky to get all of one's necessary nutrition through a vegan diet. This looks like a pretty good guide:

 

http://www.theveganrd.com/2010/11/recommended-supplements-for-vegans.html

 

I'd get some coconut oil to make sure that she's getting enough saturated fat.

[Aquinas Academy]

That, along with the whole "it's just a phase" thing, is pretty much what I thought. It sounds to me as though the parents are seeing this decision as either a slap in the face or a silly, entitled kid making a scene.

 

So, in the name of trying to help those parents understand their kids, I'll just say that I wanted to go vegetarian from the time I was quite young. The whole idea of eating animals was appaling to me. I grew up in an omnivorous family, but I felt strongly about the wrongness of it pretty much from the moment I figured out that meat was dead animals.

 

I got no support and no respect from my parents about this. It was laughed off as a "phase," and I was treated as though my beliefs and feelings were a big irritation.

 

I started cooking for myself fairly early, too, mostly because my mother didn't cook much. From the time I started taking control, I leaned toward vegetarian foods. Unfortunately, because I had no one to teach me about vegetarian nutrition, I survived mostly on Kraft macaroni and cheese, french fries and things made with Bisquick for years.

 

Once I moved out, I went vegetarian "officially," and I started reading and learning on my own.

 

I've been vegetarian now for over 25 years and vegan for 14-ish, and I'm still resentful of the way my parents pooh-poohed my beliefs.

 

I'm not suggesting that a teen can't or shouldn't be learning to cook and taking some responsibility for his or her own needs. I believe ALL teens should be doing that. But I am more than a little put off by the idea that, if a teen has the audacity to believe something different from her parents, she should suddenly be left to fend for herself.

 

I can't imagine how that's good for any parent-child relationship.

:iagree:

I had the same experience as Jenny (although I'm vegetarian, not vegan) and it hurt. For me, it is not, and has never been, a phase. Because of my knowledge and beliefs I have to be vegetarian. No, I'm not going to die if I eat meat, but I would be breaking my very strong ethical beliefs and I cannot do that. This does not mean I'm making a moral judgement about what you can eat. I even married a meat-eater!

When your child says she wants to follow a diet that is healthier, cheaper, and better for the planet, why would you not support her? :confused:

[CalicoKat]

That, along with the whole "it's just a phase" thing, is pretty much what I thought. It sounds to me as though the parents are seeing this decision as either a slap in the face or a silly, entitled kid making a scene.

 

So, in the name of trying to help those parents understand their kids, I'll just say that I wanted to go vegetarian from the time I was quite young. The whole idea of eating animals was appaling to me. I grew up in an omnivorous family, but I felt strongly about the wrongness of it pretty much from the moment I figured out that meat was dead animals.

 

I got no support and no respect from my parents about this. It was laughed off as a "phase," and I was treated as though my beliefs and feelings were a big irritation.

 

I started cooking for myself fairly early, too, mostly because my mother didn't cook much. From the time I started taking control, I leaned toward vegetarian foods. Unfortunately, because I had no one to teach me about vegetarian nutrition, I survived mostly on Kraft macaroni and cheese, french fries and things made with Bisquick for years.

 

Once I moved out, I went vegetarian "officially," and I started reading and learning on my own.

 

I've been vegetarian now for over 25 years and vegan for 14-ish, and I'm still resentful of the way my parents pooh-poohed my beliefs.

 

I'm not suggesting that a teen can't or shouldn't be learning to cook and taking some responsibility for his or her own needs. I believe ALL teens should be doing that. But I am more than a little put off by the idea that, if a teen has the audacity to believe something different from her parents, she should suddenly be left to fend for herself.

 

I can't imagine how that's good for any parent-child relationship.

 

Ahh, totally understand now why you're thinking we're being negative here. Yes, from your experience this is a negative approach.

 

But nowhere in what was said did we laugh or attempt to "squash" 15 year old's idea.

 

It's hard to know if/when kid is just trying something or if it's a lifestyle change. Rather than impose on their ideas with negativity or over enthusiasm sometimes it's best to get out of their way to see how serious they truly are.

 

That's where I go with this one. She wants to eat vegetarian. Great! Do you have a meal plan? Here's a little $$ for your menu.

 

And I might request she start with making me California Rolls! :D

 

A 15 yo is well on the road to independence. Enable, enable, enable.

[Ellie]

Huh. I'm 46 and haven't "outgrown" it yet. I'll let you know if I ever do, though.

:001_smile:

[CalicoKat]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

 

A food allergy is utterly different. It's not a personal choice.

 

I suppose our experiences color how we read posts like this.

 

For some it reminds them of a parent who wasn't supportive, a parent who was negative, a parent who was over enthusiastic and took over their idea/thoughts/decision, or a parent who enabled or perhaps a parent who was neutral, etc.

[TravelingChris]

I would figure out what the cost of food for the family was and then portion out her part to her. Then I would have her go shopping for her own food and have her cook her own meals. If I thought her health was suffering, I would put an end to it. But in my mind, fads like this come with a price. In this case, it would be the hassle of buying her own food, keeping a budget, and then preparing her own foods.

[Soror]

When your child says she wants to follow a diet that is healthier, cheaper, and better for the planet, why would you not support her? :confused:

I agree that it *could* be cheaper but strongly disagree w/ the other two. Realize that not everyone holds those beliefs.

[Parker Martin]

When your child says she wants to follow a diet that is healthier, cheaper, and better for the planet, why would you not support her?

 

I think the bolded is arguable. Not necessarily wrong, but arguable.

 

I would do as others have suggested (be supportive by allowing her to make some purchasing decisions and allowing her to cook her own meals without grousing about her not eating like the rest of the family), and I would require that she take certain supplements.

 

If this is a serious, lifelong choice she's made, this will allow her to live it out fully, and if it's a phase, this will allow her to bow out of it gracefully when it's over. To that end, if it does turn out to be a phase, I would not give her a hard time about it or allow anyone else in the family to do so. I'd want her to feel free to try new things without worrying that everyone will judge her if it doesn't work out.

[lailasmum]

Dh is vegetarian so it would be easy to cope with a child becoming vegetarian. Not so sure about vegan though. My dd tried dairy free for a while and the alternatives to milk, cheese and butter were pretty revolting, seem very processed and were extremely expensive. I would definitely be making two of everything. I don't think vegan necessarily equals healthier.

 

My sister was vegan in her late teens, that felt hard work for us as a family but not sure how much of it was because of her pickyness and her other food rules on top of no animal products. She is vegetarian these days.

 

I think it requires the daughter to do a lot of research into what nutrients she actually needs and how she is going to meet that day to day with the kind of foods you can obtain fairly easily.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I haven't yet read all the other posts but I'm looking forward to it.

 

Basically, we haven't found eating vegan to be considerably more expensive. In fact, a lot of people find that they eat a bit less food when eating high nutrient foods so it actually costs less. Of course, lots of vegetarians and vegans eat less than ideally also though so it doesn't necessarily have to mean "nutrient dense."

 

Anyway, rarely is getting what the body needs an issue. The typical American diet is very poor in terms of getting what the body needs. Protein is a big myth of a topic altogether considering your body has to break down protein into amino acids (which plants have plenty of) in order to use it at all. And even if you still buy into the protein stuff, there are plenty of protein rich foods such as beans, nuts, tofu, etc.

 

Now, I wouldn't necessarily fix multiple meals per evening. My daughter (gluten free) fixes her own meals for times her diet and what we're eating don't mesh. Sometimes it's one item different and sometimes it is a whole 'nother meal. Additionally, my daughter typically makes more of certain foods in order to have foods ready when she needs them.

 

As for the $$ part? My daughter knows we have nine people in this family and not the greatest food budget. We also have three different diet needs including hers (well, and excluding that four of us could stand to lose some weight). She is *very* reasonable about what foods she actually needs. She goes shopping for those extra needs twice per month, tries to stay within a certain $ amount (chosen by her, btw), etc. When she gets some extra money, she does tend to buy herself something special.

 

You may try over at fatfreevegan.com and cancerproject.org/recipes for various recipes. We lived on these recipes as well as green smoothies for awhile. And again, it was cheap and pretty easy too. Some recipes here and other places are more expensive; you just eat those less often, I'd think.

 

ETA: I would encourage her to research well. There are tons of youtube videos, books, etc. McDougall, Fuhrman, etc can be some good places to stop. McDougall's online info can be a good place to start, includes menus, etc. Fuhrman is even more "radical," and easily alter-able for a teen girl. He also has nutritional supplements with some major differences to consider. No doubt your library has lots of vegetarian/vegan books, cookbooks, etc.

Edited October 17, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[spaceman]

I think you could definitely find a middle-of-the-road support role. Having the two of you plan meals together sounds terrific. Many meals can be made with meat and/or dairy on the side.

 

I'm actually going to eat with my family tonight where my brother has cooked a pot of chili with the meat on the side to stir in for those who want meat. Lots of meals can be made this way. And peanut butter sandwich supplies can be around for those nights you are eating pot roast or whatever.

 

My husband became a vegetarian as a child. His mom didn't make him special meals (usually), but they worked it out.

[ShutterBug]

I haven't read all the responses so I apologize if I'm re-iterating something already said :).

 

With that, I'd tell her that I support her in her decision under a few conditions.

 

- First and foremost, she needs to make sure she's eating a healthy, balanced diet. She needs to get some books, do some research on veganism and come up with recipes and a meal plan that not only fit into the family budget, but ensure she's getting the nutrition she needs. This would include adequate amounts of fruits and veggies, whole grains and adequate protein substitutes. I would also limit the amount of soy products (soy milk, soy meat replacement items, etc..) she's consuming...not only are they expensive, they're not terribly healthy either.

 

- Once she's come up with her recipes and meal plan, she'd be going with me to the grocery store to purchase the required groceries for her meals. If the cost of her groceries is above and beyond our family budget, she'd be expected to cover those extra expenses (via a babysitting job, doing odd neighborhood jobs, etc..)

 

- She'd also be cooking her own meals if they are different from the rest of the family.

 

I might be willing to compromise a bit and offer up a vegan meal for the whole family once a week or so as well :).

[DarlaS]

Just out of curiosity, why?

 

If one of your kids developed a food allergy at, say, age 15, would you hand her money and tell her she's on her own?

 

I understand this is "different," but I wonder what it is about this that sets off these kinds of posts?

 

I suspect it's because the girl is 15. I have a 14 yo. If he developed a food allergy that basically required me to cook 2 meals at a time (or even just a second entree as that's what requires prep work and creates more dishes to wash), I'd be expecting him to pitch in and help cook. He'll have to deal with it the rest of his life after all, and he's a big boy.

 

If it was a food preference, I'd expect even more involvement. I'm not running a restaurant here--and there are six of us. If one of them decided they wanted to make their own green smoothies every day (and I sincerely wish they would!), they'd better learn to clean the blender. :001_smile: I tell them everyday "It's your home and that includes the kitchen."

 

No one has to eat food they don't like in my house, however. Even my 7 yo who occasionally refuses to eat can make himself a hot dog or PB & J.

 

I'm actually surprised none of mine have wanted to be vegan or vegetarian. I followed Eat to Live for four months. (Agreeing with those who indicated it can be cheap.)

[Nan in Mass]

I deal with different eating styles all the time. The trick, I think, is to persuade everyone to eat very, very simply. Vegan food can be fancy/expensive/time consuming, or can be plain/quick/cheap. If she wants anything in the first category, perhaps she can make it herself. If she is willing to eat the second way, then you can probably accommodate her with a minimum of difficulty. I don't know much about being vegan, but she just might wind up eating vegetable soup for supper every night and peanutbutter and banana for breakfast and a baked potato for lunch and snacking on fruit or carrot sticks. Or something like that. You get the idea. Find some casseroles and soups that will almost work for everybody and cook a big batch once a week. Before you add the meat, take out her part, or cook it in two batches, one for her in a small pot and one with the non-vegan ingredients in a second pot. If you are trying to each cheaply, you probably are eating in this style already. Freeze one serving so you have a stock of things for her to eat when you are eating something that won't work for her at all. Or cook your normal peas, carrot sticks, rice, and meatloaf, but have her skip the meatloaf. You will have to do a little research on completing protiens. It is pretty simple. Some starch plus a little of peas, beans, or nuts equals a serving of meat. You will also have to investigate what the pitfalls of a vegan diet are (I seem to remember lack of B12 possibly being a problem) and find ways to avoid those. If, for example, she is going to be short of saturated fat, then you could invest in something that would fix that problem, like the coconut oil. Buying coconut oil and some B12 would be a far cry from buying fancy vegan convenience foods for every meal. I can see how you might be worried. The organic/vegetarian section of our grocery store is just full of really expensive foods. And cooking another whole separate meal each mealtime would not be easy on top of homeschooling. I think this can be done without doing that, though. And at least your daughter is thinking about the implications of her actions. That is a major step in becoming an adult! So much of a teenager's life is out of their control. They can't choose to buy or invest ethically when they don't buy or invest anything. They can't choose not to live in a certain area or vote for certain people or take their house off the grid because they don't like what the electric company is doing or to build their house out of all natural materials or to hire or not hire illegal immigrants. They can, however, choose what they will or will not put in their mouths, especially if they have parents who are wealthy enough to feed them and are not willing to force the issue to the point of starvation. You must have done something right to have produced a teenager who is thinking!

Nan

[twoforjoy]

Hmm, this would be hard. On the one hand, I have absolutely no desire to go vegan and would not be serving my entire family vegan food for every meal. On the other hand, I think it's a valid choice and if she was doing it for ethical reasons, I'd want to support her.

 

I think I'd try to work out a compromise. Like, maybe I'd agree to make 2 vegan dinners a week (which she could help me prepare), and one vegan item with the others. The rest she'd need to take care of. I'd expect her to do the research to make sure she was eating a healthy diet, but if she could come up with foods that were healthy, not-too-expensive, and easy-to-prepare, we could maybe spend a few hours together on the weekend making vegan stuff that she could eat the rest of the week. We could make some vegan muffins for breakfast, pull together some vegan lunches, and put away items that she could warm up at dinners when the only vegan item I'd be preparing was a vegetable and/or grain.

 

I'd want to find ways to support her in her decision while putting at least some of the responsibility for it on her (because mom wouldn't be there to make all of her vegan meals for her forever) and not forcing the rest of the family to change to a vegan diet.

[Aquinas Academy]

I agree that it *could* be cheaper but strongly disagree w/ the other two. Realize that not everyone holds those beliefs.

I am quite aware not everyone shares my beliefs. :)

 

I think the bolded is arguable. Not necessarily wrong, but arguable.

 

I would do as others have suggested (be supportive by allowing her to make some purchasing decisions and allowing her to cook her own meals without grousing about her not eating like the rest of the family), and I would require that she take certain supplements.

 

If this is a serious, lifelong choice she's made, this will allow her to live it out fully, and if it's a phase, this will allow her to bow out of it gracefully when it's over. To that end, if it does turn out to be a phase, I would not give her a hard time about it or allow anyone else in the family to do so. I'd want her to feel free to try new things without worrying that everyone will judge her if it doesn't work out.

 

Parker Martin, you're right that it is arguable, especially if the OP's DD has been eating a healthy ominvorous diet previously. And I actually do take supplements, so I understand your concerns. I still believe a vegetarian/vegan diet is usually healthier, but it does require actually cooking vegetarian food, not just removing the meat from other dishes.

 

I apologise if I came accross as judgemental in my post. I truly did not wish to do so, but this subject is near to my heart and I can get rather worked up about it. I am sorry if I have caused any offense. :001_smile:

[bbmom]

Another great set of recipes

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes_menus/recipe_slideshows/easy_healthy_vegan_recipes?slide=1#leaderboardad

[homeschoolin'mygirls]

--I'm not sure I've ever had a post that generated this many replies. :)

 

I do want to support her in her dietary choices. I respect that she is of an age to make decisions about what she chooses to eat. She has been researching vegan recipes, and we've tried a few with mixed results. She is willing to cook foods that she thinks she can handle.

 

Problem is she's at school(1st time ever) from 9a-4p and I've returned to work full time. I'm a nurse, so often don't get home until 8-9pm on the days I work. She's a dancer and often doesn't get home until 8-9 in the evening 3xwkly.

 

So, I don't have the time to invest as I did when both my dtrs went vegetarian a few years ago. Then, we had a problem that one of the previous poster mentioned--they ere more carb-terians than vegetarians.

They both chose to stop being vegetarians.

 

Thank you all for websites, suggestions, etc. I'm leaving to go get her now but will come back and reread menus and check out websites and check library for books.

 

Thanks again

[kiana]

I would do as others have suggested (be supportive by allowing her to make some purchasing decisions and allowing her to cook her own meals without grousing about her not eating like the rest of the family), and I would require that she take certain supplements.

 

If this is a serious, lifelong choice she's made, this will allow her to live it out fully, and if it's a phase, this will allow her to bow out of it gracefully when it's over. To that end, if it does turn out to be a phase, I would not give her a hard time about it or allow anyone else in the family to do so. I'd want her to feel free to try new things without worrying that everyone will judge her if it doesn't work out.

 

Yes. This. 100%.

 

I wouldn't tease her about her food. I wouldn't deliberately make it difficult (like suddenly cooking *only* integrated meals with the meat non-removable so that she has to make her own dinner every time), but I also wouldn't make the rest of the family suit her newfound values.

 

ETA: I just saw your reply. Perhaps you both could start researching things that you could cook once-a-week that would require very little additional prep when you got home? I have no idea what they might *be* (I'm not vegan), but it might be easier for both of you.

[twoforjoy]

--I'm not sure I've ever had a post that generated this many replies. :)

 

I do want to support her in her dietary choices. I respect that she is of an age to make decisions about what she chooses to eat. She has been researching vegan recipes' date=' and we've tried a few with mixed results. She is willing to cook foods that she thinks she can handle.

 

Problem is she's at school(1st time ever) from 9a-4p and I've returned to work full time. I'm a nurse, so often don't get home until 8-9pm on the days I work. She's a dancer and often doesn't get home until 8-9 in the evening 3xwkly.

 

So, I don't have the time to invest as I did when both my dtrs went vegetarian a few years ago. Then, we had a problem that one of the previous poster mentioned--they ere more carb-terians than vegetarians.

They both chose to stop being vegetarians.

 

Thank you all for websites, suggestions, etc. I'm leaving to go get her now but will come back and reread menus and check out websites and check library for books.

 

Thanks again[/quote']

 

Would once a week cooking be a possibility? I bet that a few hours on day on the weekend would let you guys come up with a good supply of vegan foods that she can eat during the week.

 

I do want to add, though--and I may be way off base here, so I didn't mention it before, but now that you say she's a dancer, I'm going to--that I'd want to make sure this was for ethical reasons or genuine health reasons, and not either an attempt at weight loss or an excuse for severely limiting food choices. I'm only saying this because of how prevalent eating disorders are among dancers. I'd want to be sure that she wasn't choosing a vegan diet so that she could have excuses for not eating at home, excuses for not eating much, or otherwise as a cover for disordered eating habits.

 

And, given that she is a dancer, I'd say that a trip to the doctor and a vegan-friendly nutritionist would probably be in order, just to make sure she kept her calories and protein up where they need to be.

[bettyandbob]

I'm not vegetarian and I haven't read all the post, but I've read enough that there seems to be quite a few responding who think 1) a vegan diet is lacking in more nutrients than a typical American diet, 2) being vegan is expensive, 3) being vegan is an imposition on the household.

 

Being vegan is a great way to slash your grocery budget. Dried beans are cheap. Brown rice is cheap. Potatoes are cheap. You can add in a variety of fresh or frozen vegetables which may or may not cheap, but will be cheaper per serving than most meat. I would not consider dried beans, brown rice, potatoes and frozen vegetables above the family budget.

 

I suggest putting your dd in charge of much of the implementation. She should go to the library and get books on it and a variety of cookbooks. Isn't Engine 2 diet vegan? Look at web resources like Vegetarian Times website. I'm sure there's a how to start book on this that makes it simple to plan and find basic ingredients.

 

When dd and you have free time at the same time you can look at recipes together see which to try.

 

You can institute a vegetarian night once a week that she's in charge of. It doesn't have to be all vegan you can put cheese out for other family members.

 

Your dd can be responsible for part of the meal other nights. For her it will be the main dish, for other family it will be the sides.

[tadah]

OK, this doesn't tackle the philosophical issues, but it's a great fast easy protein source: Moosewood's Easy Baked Tofu

 

http://books.google.com/books?id=JayoUFGtm6IC&pg=PT100&lpg=PT100&dq=easy+baked+tofu,+moosewood&source=bl&ots=IFjWfUKwsQ&sig=Q_BU6rZa4yVzg3bj9QkDhzbrPpU&hl=en&ei=TpScTsGtDue0iQLQ4c2XBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=9&ved=0CEwQ6AEwCA#v=onepage&q&f=false

 

I use less soy sauce (2 TB instead of 3), ginger and garlic as called for in the recipe, add a 1/4 tsp brown sugar and some red pepper flakes. The whole family likes it.

[homeschoolin'mygirls]

You may try over at fatfreevegan.com and cancerproject.org/recipes for various recipes.

 

 

Small world. Kathryn at the cancerproject is one of my dd's youth leaders at church. She probably in one of dd's inspirations for switching to vegan.