How do you(mom/dad) feel about and respond to a sick child(ren)?.....

[BethG]

I'm one of those moms that is highly irked by illness. It totally bums me out when my kids get sick. When they are sick, we pretty much stay in. The thought of contracting viruses/colds/etc, makes me dread group activities (Sunday school even) during the winter months for the dread of the near-constant snot/colds/flu/crud. I don't like being around sick babies/children and it irks me to no end to hear moms say, "Well I went ahead and brought her because she doesn't have a fever." (Knowing that virus is shed for many days after the fever!)

 

I find that moms are usually on one end of this spectrum or another and are rarely in the middle, meaning they either are totally unphased by illness (meaning it doesn't alter their family outings/routine/attendance of social functions, etc. or they are totally annoyed with it and it greatly affects their day/outings/etc.

 

Your thoughts?

Where do you fit in?

[Parrothead]

I don't get irked or in anyway upset if dd gets sick. Our world does slow down dramatically, but I don't think it is anything to get bugged by.

 

That said, I do get bugged by people who refuse to keep their germs/virus' within their own homes. I get that sometimes there is no choice - no sick days or something similar. But bringing you kid to a play date 12 hours after no fever is just rude.

[nono]

You know, when my kids are sick is the only time I'm truly compassionate or "nice." It's like I turn into a different person. I totally let the world stop and patiently wait for the child to be OK again before resuming life as planned.

 

It's amazing my kids are rarely sick. ;)

[Impish]

As long as its not the technicolour yawn, I don't have a problem managing when they're sick. I feel horrid for them, but I don't find it a struggle or stressful to manage. Frankly, they get babied. :tongue_smilie:

 

When it involves a bucket by the bedside, that's when I start running into problems.

 

Thankfully, that's a rarity *knock on wood*

 

I keep everyone home for at least a day after the fever is gone.

[SKL]

I guess I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I welcome real life, including non-deadly germs. I figure, we'll have to deal with most of them sooner or later. We don't have immunity issues here.

 

I generally don't slow down for a bug unless it's really bad (ongoing puking, moderate fever). My kids are tough that way. Their daycare policy is pretty flexible too, and most of my kids' bugs come from there in the first place.

 

That said, I will check before going on a visit to make sure that the people at the destination aren't immune compromised or otherwise opposed to exposure. I will always let them know what's coming and ask if it's OK. I also have a sister with an immune-compromised baby, and it is understood that neither I nor my kids will be visiting them or holding the baby until she's clear of issues (probably around age 2). I'm not trying to go out and put other people's kids at risk. But whatever my kids have is already pretty much everywhere that normal people go, so I think it's unrealistic to try to hide or think common illnesses can be avoided in normal everyday life. People like my sister, whose kids have special risks, have to adjust their lives to this reality. For example, taking her tot out of daycare and choosing a low-traffic time to go to the grocery store or whatever.

 

ETA: as for how I feel when my kids are really sick - I get that "tender" instinct and it really doesn't stress me out. Which is odd, because I work full-time (thankfully, usually at home), and I sometimes say to myself "my kid had better not get sick, because I don't have time for it," but then when they do, I miraculously have time for it. It's kind of sweet the way they want me, they hang out on my bed (which is next to my work desk) and just enjoy being close. We watch movies in the evening, which is a treat.

 

Of course, puking is another story. Once my 3yo puked about 14 times overnight, usually before she could get to the toilet. I really needed my sleep, so each time I'd get her re-situated, rinse the bedclothes (had to wash a couple of loads that night), and go back to sleep. The instant I felt myself drifting off to sleep, the plaintive crying would start again. I felt like I was going to drop dead. Thank goodness that only lasted one night. Times like that make me really feel for parents of chronically ill children.

Edited September 28, 2011 by SKL

[Lucy in Australia]

I'm with you. Sickness annoys me. OK, I feel better now. Confession is good for the soul :) I can get quite obsessed with avoiding illness when I know it's going around, and I often stuff my kids full of supplements. So far it seems to have worked quite well. We also tend to have a "lock-down" when someone's sick.

AND I get quite irked when someone brings along their obviously ill child to a group situation.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

A person is usually contagious before showing symptoms, so we take more cold weather precautions. I will not take my kids out when knowingly sick. Ds is even limited when he has an asthma cough because that means he will be getting sick in a few days, so I assume he's got something brewing that can be passed.

 

Some things can't be avoided, but for me to take any of us out sick, it has to be very, very necessary.

[butterflymommy]

Two of my children have severe asthma, to the point where it is life threatening, so a minor cold can quickly become a dreadful ordeal. While we had many reasons to want to HS, this has always been a factor, to cut down on the germ exposure.

 

Generally we avoid places with lots of toddlers or very young children, especially in the winter. Likewise we avoid the dr's office in winter unless it's really necessary. As far as sunday school, I bring my girls age 8 and up but don't bring my toddler. We use a lot of hand sanitizer, if the kids have been out in public at all they have to sanitize or wash their hands when home. I try to my best to keep them all up on hygiene, clean clothes, clean towels.

 

It really bothers me when people don't warn me that they have been/ are sick before they come over. My DD's last hospitalization came from a friend who visited while her kids were sick.

 

So yes.... I dread the germs and colds too, though not purely for the ick factor.

[mytwomonkeys]

when my kids get sick, it usually zaps their energy. we stay in and they rest a lot, and our social life (including church) is put on hold. we watch more TV. eat more soup. they get waited on a lot more, lol. we snuggle a bunch, and i tend to sleep with them (which isn't normal..only when they're ill).

[annandatje]

Having grown up around a some relatives who suffered from hypochondria, factitious disorder, or malingering, I was determined not to carry on the tradition. Thus, the children were not indulged for minor ailments. If they were sick, we may say something like, "Your body is working hard to fight the bug." We took it all in stride and used common sense measures to determine limitations of exposure or activies. Never did we go to doctor for upper respiratory viruses unless a persistent secondary bacterial infection developed. I have not visited doctor in over fifteen years now.

[Rhonda in TX]

We're lucky that we don't get sick much, so I don't worry about group gatherings. However, if we do get sick, we stay home. I actually kind of like it when they are sick. I'm a homebody, so it gives me an excuse to stay home. It also slows down the day, which is nice.

[sbgrace]

One of mine has immune issues and I'm, necessarily, cautious with him. I do have his twin brother do stuff during flu season though. I just emphasize handwashing, keeping hands out of your face, and healthy vitamin D levels. Healthy vitamin D levels (50s and up) are the best preventative for flu which I really, really don't want. Handwashing does nothing for viruses transmitted through air like flu) but it does help prevent colds. He does get a flu vax too because of his twin but if it weren't for the immune issues I wouldn't do that. If my kids have a cold coming on I up the zinc and it does seem to help.

 

Stomach bugs freak me out but I've got issues surrounding those as my son with the immune issues can't fight the stomach stuff especially it seems.

 

It amazes me how many people don't wash hands before they eat because I assume they don't necessarily wash hands preparing food for others and such too. Other than that I don't think much about other people's habits including bringing their kids to activities getting over this or that (assuming it's not a kid with active flu or pertussis or something). I do think you're just as likely to get sick from someone before they even know they are sick in many cases. That said, I don't bring my sick kids anywhere though and I guess I do wish others were more careful.

Edited September 28, 2011 by sbgrace

[MeaganS]

I get sad for my poor babies when they are sick. Luckily, they stay sick for only a day or 2 and then they are better, usually. We cuddle and I let them watch lots of television. I don't get irked, per se, just sad because my sick girls are pitiful. I do keep them home if at all possible if they are sick, especially from places around other children (nursery at church, therapy, etc.)

[Ginevra]

I'm kind of like you. However, I do bring my kids if they have colds (so long as there is no fever, isn't severe, and didn't just start). If people were to stay home through the course of a cold they would be out half the year in some cases. Colds can linger. Employers, schools, etc. don't allow one to stay home for a cold.

 

But yeah I'm totally irked when the people around me get sick. They all turn into sniveling lumps (while I don't get to be sick..so then I'm further irked).

 

I do try to keep that feeling in check though. I don't want to come across as callous and uncaring. But if you want to know my inner dark feelings then that is what it is. ;)

 

I thought I was the only one who felt like this. :tongue_smilie: It makes me feel frustrated, because there's usually nothing I can do about it.

[Friederike in Persia]

I'm only the second poster who's on the other side of this issue (should I start a different thread?:001_huh:)

I believe that it's good for my kids to gain a strong immune system, so I don't mind them being around people with a cold, the flue, chickenpocks,.... where I draw the line is more serious illnesses, which are a real problem here in Central Asia (TB, thyphoid, polio,... the sort of sicknesses you only know from immunisations if you life in the West). Having said that, chosing to live here, involves taking health risks. A few years ago dh got rather sick, by the time he got diagnosed with typhoid, we'd been close to him for 3 weeks. However, none of us caught it. :tongue_smilie:

[Rivka]

I'm one of those moms that is highly irked by illness. It totally bums me out when my kids get sick. When they are sick, we pretty much stay in. The thought of contracting viruses/colds/etc, makes me dread group activities (Sunday school even) during the winter months for the dread of the near-constant snot/colds/flu/crud. I don't like being around sick babies/children and it irks me to no end to hear moms say, "Well I went ahead and brought her because she doesn't have a fever." (Knowing that virus is shed for many days after the fever!)[/QUOTE]

 

I don't think that's true. Do you have a reference?

 

I keep my kids home for fever above 99.8, vomiting, or frequent diarrhea, and for 24 hours after any of those things is gone. I don't keep them home for colds or coughs, but I am a little more restrictive about what they do - for example, I'll discourage physical contact with friends if my kids are germy.

 

I am much nicer and more patient when my kids are sick. I arrange special food and drink treats and allow more videos. What I really hate is the first day or two that they're "better." Their behavior is usually unbelievably annoying.

[Harriet Vane]

For fever or vomiting, I stay in a minimum of 24 hours after abatement of symptoms. If there is mucous involved we stay in until the kid is dry. A heavy cough keeps us in. A little sniffle or light cough when other symptoms are completely gone I don't fuss about though. However, I recognize others may feel differently so I ALWAYS tell the other mom when we've been sick so she can make her own decisions.

[Danestress]

I think it's pretty hard to avoid head colds, and when my children have one, I know they spread all the germs during the day or two before they showed symptoms. I will take kids out if they have mild sniffles and feel otherwise fine. I wouldn't go to someone's house that way, but I will take them to the store, library, etc, or I might leave the sick kid at home but would certainly take non-sick children. I don't keep every one home just because one of us has a mild cold. I definitely would warn anyone who was planning to come over, including my Mom and MIL.

 

Anything that involves vomiting keeps us all home. I am not inflicting vomiting on anyone else. Plus, my kids wouldn't enjoy being out if they felt sick.

 

We tend not to run fevers, but if a kid had a fever, he would stay home for sure.

 

I don't enjoy being with sick people, and it does get tiresome when it feels like my kids have one head cold or minor illness after another. We have been lucky not to have a lot of serious illnesses. I was pretty sick a couple of time last winter, but my kids seem to bounce back pretty quickly when they are ill.

[usetoschool]

I try to keep my kids away from others because I wouldn't want to be the cause of serious side effects in someone else that might just be a basic cold at our house. But we don't really care about getting sick. Whatever, sickness happens and we are fairly healthy so not too worried about serious consequences - ending up pneumonia or something. We snuggle up on the sofa, drink lots and wait for the serious part to be over. Except for trying not to make others sick we really don't limit our activities and it really doesn't interfere too much. If we are going to be outside and not touching or face to face with people we pretty much still go anyway.

[GWOB]

My kids are generally healthy. They get an average amount of kid illnesses. However, if there is a stomach bug anywhere near us, we get it. My kids are expert pukers. I guess I'm a little.... harsh(?) when it comes to puking. They have puked so much I just expect them to get up and take care of it. Now, even if only one kid is puking/has puked, we will not leave the house for a few days. While MY kids have no immunity issues, I know many other kids do, and I refuse to endanger those kids.

 

I cannot stand it when moms bring their sick kids to social events/activities. First of all, if your kid is feeling crummy, they probably don't want to be out and about. Next, most other moms do not want your kids' cooties. I know it is a burden/hardship to stay home for an extended period of time. I get the feelings of isolation. Last winter all three of my kids got the flu. We had to stay home for over a week while everyone recouperated. We missed church, confirmation, piano lessons, homeschool PE, and some other social event. My kids missed their Sunday School Christmas program because dd4 was puking. I hated staying home, but there was no way I was going to schlep my sick-feeling kids around so I could socialize, and, while I am a giving person, I draw the line at giving out cooties.

[Pretty in Pink]

I do not avoid social engagements or other activities during cold/flu season. One of my children has asthma, but it is well-controlled. He is under the care of a specialist and has one or two attacks per year at this point. We are an otherwise healthy bunch.

 

My children contract what I would consider an average number of colds per year.

 

We all have runny noses this week, but it's clear and no fever or other symptoms in any of us, so we are going about our usual routine.

[jillian]

If it's just a runny nose or something like the common cold it doesn't really affect our outings however if there is a fever or she is feeling the illness it does.

 

eta: fwiw we don't really go out of our way to avoid places during cold/flu season. we also aren't fully vaccinated and no one does flu shot. we don't get sick though.

Edited September 28, 2011 by jillian

[mommymilkies]

For me, it depends on the illness and my life situation. I allow NO illnesses around newborns, for example. I have certain family members who ignore this and lie before they visit, though. Even things like croup and lice. :thumbdown:

 

If it's something where I know they're out of the contagious stage, I will take my kids out. I don't always get worked up by light coughs or light runny noses, though, because I have allergies and I know a lot of people with asthma & allergies who you might presume are sick, but are not contagious in any way. My kids do not get often at all. Only when we're around some of our family. :rolleyes: I am ok with exposing my kids to some things to strengthen their immune systems, but croup after croup from a niece just makes me angry.

[redsquirrel]

I find that moms are usually on one end of this spectrum or another and are rarely in the middle, meaning they either are totally unphased by illness (meaning it doesn't alter their family outings/routine/attendance of social functions, etc. or they are totally annoyed with it and it greatly affects their day/outings/etc.?

 

Those are my choices?:

 

A: unphased by illness and it doesn't alter my family routine

 

B: totally annoyed by illness and it effects outings etc.

 

I am not annoyed by illness but it does make my world smaller. I cannot imagine finding someone's illness 'annoying'. Caring for sick children is in the job description of parents. I took it on when I entered into the relationship. It seems like a waste of time and energy to be annoyed by something that is part of the human condition

 

I am also not annoyed by ill parents and friends. I am happy for the opportunity to provide assistance and comfort.

[Lady Florida.]

I'm with you SKL. I don't worry about mild illnesses, but I do warn people and will stay away from anyone who doesn't like to be around a sick person, whether it's me or ds who is sick. Mostly whether or not we go out has more to do with how the sick person feels.

 

My family is generally healthy. We rarely get colds and get vaccinated against the flu (after a horrible bout 7 years ago when all 3 of us got it). My son is so rarely sick, that when he does get sick, I baby him (I also baby dh when he is sick). They both thrive on the poor me attention. Oddly enough, I don't like to be babied when I'm sick. I just want to be left alone.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

depends....hubby and I pretty much agree about things-including when kiddo's sick....he's much more cautious LOL---if it's a slight cold then I would take him somewhere (group gathering/shopping/etc) but if it's runny nose or anything worse then NO.....and if there is even a slight fever he stays home....

[ForeverFamily]

I'm one of those moms that is highly irked by illness. It totally bums me out when my kids get sick. When they are sick, we pretty much stay in. The thought of contracting viruses/colds/etc, makes me dread group activities (Sunday school even) during the winter months for the dread of the near-constant snot/colds/flu/crud. I don't like being around sick babies/children and it irks me to no end to hear moms say, "Well I went ahead and brought her because she doesn't have a fever." (Knowing that virus is shed for many days after the fever!)

 

I find that moms are usually on one end of this spectrum or another and are rarely in the middle, meaning they either are totally unphased by illness (meaning it doesn't alter their family outings/routine/attendance of social functions, etc. or they are totally annoyed with it and it greatly affects their day/outings/etc.

 

Your thoughts?

Where do you fit in?

 

I could have written this post myself! I am just like that. I didn't used to be, but then I had kids! Our whole family was sick for 2-3 months straight last winter, it was really frustrating. I really hope that isn't the case again this year. But it is hard to avoid when my kids are constantly touching their mouths, or sucking on the shopping cart handles (like my now 2 year old was in the habit of doing last winter :ack2:). And it is really frustrating when you try so hard to avoid illness to have someone that is sick start coughing on you:banghead:, KWIM. I think it is just hard when there are lots of people in one family and it can linger forever, passing from one person to the next! Or everyone is sick all at once and no one is getting any sleep at night. It is also frustrating for my Dh when everyone gets sick. He takes care of patients all day at the hospital, and no patient wants to be taken care of by someone who is sick. He also really can't take any sick days off (unless he is on his death bed). So I think that is one of the biggest reasons our family tries to avoid getting sick. That and it is just so stressfull when you have 4 kids, 5 and under all sick!

 

When my kids are sick we stay home out of consideration for others. But I can see how that can really interfere with life. It's a tough balance, and I haven't found it yet.

[jengjohnson]

We rarely get sick and stay home until fever free for 24 hours. With the three kids, that can often mean that we're out of activities for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. My youngest is prone to respiratory problems to the point that we had to give up on co-ops. People always brought their coughing kids in and she would catch it and end up with pneumonia.

 

I baby them when they're sick, but if they have no fever or vomiting they must do some school, LOL. When anyone in the family gets sick dh freaks out. He's honestly gone to stay with extended family to avoid our germs. Obviously we get no babying from him! On the other hand, when he gets sick, our world must revolve around him. Both of his parents have passed or I would ask them about why he is this way.

[ChandlerMom]

Chalk me up as one of those who gets totally ticked off when folks bring their snotty "it's just a cold" sicko kid to an event when they could have easily not brought them.

 

I don't freak out over illness, but I have 2 kids with immature overactive immune systems and what may be a simple cold to your child when you so *thoughtfully* give it to MY child means febrile seizures (real FUN to hold your infant who is seizing knowing their heart isn't beating and they aren't breathing consistently for 5 minutes), temps in excess of 104F and vomiting to the point of needing an IV.

 

So please consider that "just a cold" isn't just a cold for quite a few kids. Other's inconsideration means that I can't take my kids in public for 6mo of the year until they grow out of it (around 6-7yo). I think a lot about the many kids to whom a cold is life threatening and how nice it must be for them to know YOUR kid is roaming the stores spewing germs around. If you are contagious -- stay home. Recognize there is a difference between a 7yo that can cough in a sleeve and blow their nose, wash their hands, and a 3yo who wipes snot on everything they see. Is the convenience of taking the sick kid shopping with you really worth making other families sick and miserable for weeks? How many people inhaling your kid's germs are happily shopping for those last things for the big family vacation they have been saving for all year? Maybe they have a newborn at home, or elderly parents with chronic illness?

 

We aren't designed to be constantly exposed to germs -- that's all part of modern living where West Nile is global. SO keep those germs LOCAL when you can -- stay home. And using the argument that some folks have jobs/schools that don't let them stay home doesn't excuse you when you DO have a choice.

 

If your kids are too young to contain their germs or their illness is super contagious, please, just keep them home. I promise to do the same. :D

[kwickimom]

I am a HORRIBLE mother when my kids are sick. I HATE sick, especially puke. I just cannot take it. My DH is much more compassionate and doting when they are sick. I just get way too stressed about it and get so worked up that I start to feel sick, even though I am not actually sick. My kids puke a lot, but have never had an ear infection and maybe one or two fevers between the 3 of them. We dont get sick hardly at all that way, but they puke all the time and I HATE HATE HATE puke. I just freak out. I suck really bad at being a "sick mom"

 

I despise when people bring sick kids out, or say that their kid puked a few hours ago but are fine now. I dont mind colds or snot at all though. That is just a part of life.

[kwickimom]

My kids are generally healthy. They get an average amount of kid illnesses. However, if there is a stomach bug anywhere near us, we get it. My kids are expert pukers. I guess I'm a little.... harsh(?) when it comes to puking. They have puked so much I just expect them to get up and take care of it. Now, even if only one kid is puking/has puked, we will not leave the house for a few days. While MY kids have no immunity issues, I know many other kids do, and I refuse to endanger those kids.

 

I cannot stand it when moms bring their sick kids to social events/activities. First of all, if your kid is feeling crummy, they probably don't want to be out and about. Next, most other moms do not want your kids' cooties. I know it is a burden/hardship to stay home for an extended period of time. I get the feelings of isolation. Last winter all three of my kids got the flu. We had to stay home for over a week while everyone recouperated. We missed church, confirmation, piano lessons, homeschool PE, and some other social event. My kids missed their Sunday School Christmas program because dd4 was puking. I hated staying home, but there was no way I was going to schlep my sick-feeling kids around so I could socialize, and, while I am a giving person, I draw the line at giving out cooties.

 

THIS is me all summed up!

[Home_s_Cool]

When my kids were small, yes, I became somewhat annoyed at people who counldn't miss anything and would drag along their sick kids.

 

In a co-op setting, they would bring the child, have them sit further away, but in the same room - funny.

 

When my were sick, we stayed home and I enjoyed it.

 

Now they hardly every get sick, thankfully.

[leeannpal]

Having grown up around a some relatives who suffered from hypochondria, factitious disorder, or malingering, I was determined not to carry on the tradition. Thus, the children were not indulged for minor ailments. If they were sick, we may say something like, "Your body is working hard to fight the bug." We took it all in stride and used common sense measures to determine limitations of exposure or activies. Never did we go to doctor for upper respiratory viruses unless a persistent secondary bacterial infection developed. I have not visited doctor in over fifteen years now.

 

Wow! You are really lucky. I live with a chronic illness which neccesitates frequent doctor visits and testing. I also want to point out that what may look like hypochondria to outsiders may be a hidden illness that cause pain and suffering but has few outward signs.

[jillian]

I get what you are saying but keep in mind that you don't know why that mom and her sick kiddo are out. For example when my husband was out to sea I had no choice but to bring my kiddo out to get groceries or medicine. She's been sick a handful of times but has wicked allergies which cause her to leak like a faucet. Furthermore my dd is 3 and she always covers her nose/mouth when she coughs or sneezes.

 

In general we don make extra trips if we are sick but sometimes it isn't possible. Also not a kid but my dh doesn't have a job where he can call in when he's sick. Military doesn't afford that luxury so if he's out it's very possible that anyone working with him is exposed to germs that he has no way of not bringing to work. Trust me he'd rather stay home when sick but not possible.

 

I don't meant sound like I'm attacking, because I'm not. Just people in general see a short snippet of the situation. I understand and sympathize with your situation I really do but sometimes those people who appear sick or who are out ill aren't doing it because they don't care but because the options aren't provided to them.

 

Chalk me up as one of those who gets totally ticked off when folks bring their snotty "it's just a cold" sicko kid to an event when they could have easily not brought them.

 

I don't freak out over illness, but I have 2 kids with immature overactive immune systems and what may be a simple cold to your child when you so *thoughtfully* give it to MY child means febrile seizures (real FUN to hold your infant who is seizing knowing their heart isn't beating and they aren't breathing consistently for 5 minutes), temps in excess of 104F and vomiting to the point of needing an IV.

 

So please consider that "just a cold" isn't just a cold for quite a few kids. Other's inconsideration means that I can't take my kids in public for 6mo of the year until they grow out of it (around 6-7yo). I think a lot about the many kids to whom a cold is life threatening and how nice it must be for them to know YOUR kid is roaming the stores spewing germs around. If you are contagious -- stay home. Recognize there is a difference between a 7yo that can cough in a sleeve and blow their nose, wash their hands, and a 3yo who wipes snot on everything they see. Is the convenience of taking the sick kid shopping with you really worth making other families sick and miserable for weeks? How many people inhaling your kid's germs are happily shopping for those last things for the big family vacation they have been saving for all year? Maybe they have a newborn at home, or elderly parents with chronic illness?

 

We aren't designed to be constantly exposed to germs -- that's all part of modern living where West Nile is global. SO keep those germs LOCAL when you can -- stay home. And using the argument that some folks have jobs/schools that don't let them stay home doesn't excuse you when you DO have a choice.

 

If your kids are too young to contain their germs or their illness is super contagious, please, just keep them home. I promise to do the same. :D

[Mommy22alyns]

I have dark inner feelings too. :tongue_smilie:

 

Usually, we're very healthy and get sick about once per year. However, Becca tends to get and keep a mild cough in the fall/winter. There's no way she's missing months of events for a mild/dry cough.

 

I really do not care for snotty faced kids. We stay in for 24 hours following a fever. The girls are (thank GOD) finally old enough to make it to the bathroom or trashcan themselves when they need to get sick.

[SKL]

I get what you are saying but keep in mind that you don't know why that mom and her sick kiddo are out. For example when my husband was out to sea I had no choice but to bring my kiddo out to get groceries or medicine. She's been sick a handful of times but has wicked allergies which cause her to leak like a faucet. Furthermore my dd is 3 and she always covers her nose/mouth when she coughs or sneezes.

 

In general we don make extra trips if we are sick but sometimes it isn't possible. Also not a kid but my dh doesn't have a job where he can call in when he's sick. Military doesn't afford that luxury so if he's out it's very possible that anyone working with him is exposed to germs that he has no way of not bringing to work. Trust me he'd rather stay home when sick but not possible.

 

I don't meant sound like I'm attacking, because I'm not. Just people in general see a short snippet of the situation. I understand and sympathize with your situation I really do but sometimes those people who appear sick or who are out ill aren't doing it because they don't care but because the options aren't provided to them.

 

I agree with this. I am sorry, but if your child has immunity issues, you are in a position to know this and adjust to it. I am not. No matter how compassionate I may be, I cannot know whether my children have been exposed to a contagious illness at daycare for which the symptoms are not yet obvious. I will not keep my kids home for a runny nose, which could just as easily be caused by a change in temperature or allergies.

 

I'm a single mom, so I have to take my kids on all my errands. They are usually well, but like anyone, they catch stuff and I can't predict and plan around it. Also, I chose a daycare that allowed other people's kids to make my kids sick continually over the first year+ that they attended, so I will not feel guilty when I follow that same policy when my kids have germs.

 

I also believe it's good for most kids, in the big picture, to be exposed to stuff so their immune system can get some exercise. Keeping my kids home may benefit the few immune-compromised kids whom they encounter, but it will not benefit overall public health. I actually think the pendulum needs to start swinging back when it comes to overprotectiveness of healthy kids against germs. I'm glad the precautions are available for immune-compromised kids, but they really shouldn't apply to most.

[ondreeuh]

We don't stay home unless we have a fever, REALLY sore throat, SEVERE cough, nausea, or diarrhea.

 

The common cold is SO common and so benign that we just blow our noses and keep going. I don't consider myself or my children "sick" unless they have actual inflammation like a fever. Green boogers don't count.

[annandatje]

We don't stay home unless we have a fever, REALLY sore throat, SEVERE cough, nausea, or diarrhea.

 

The common cold is SO common and so benign that we just blow our noses and keep going. I don't consider myself or my children "sick" unless they have actual inflammation like a fever. Green boogers don't count.

 

Those were the guidelines we generally followed.

[smillard00]

My kids are very rarely sick. For that I am grateful. I am not grateful, however, when people bring their sick children out unnecessarily. I think it is doing a disservice to their child who would benefit from some additional rest and fluids so their body can recover and it is doing a disservice to my child who was completely fine until your sick kid coughed all over him. We went on a church outing last year in December and there was a rosy-cheeked 7 year old boy who just insisted on sitting next to my son and coughed on him all evening long. Consequently, my son then came down with a fever and awful cough that caused him to miss our Christmas program and big party at church. His sisters also caught it and all three of them were varying degrees of sick through our entire Christmas break. We couldn't go see grandparents. We couldn't go out and do some of the other fun things we had planned to do. Well, we could have, I guess, but I certainly wasn't going to expose anyone else to this. They were miserable! And I was very disappointed.

 

I think people have just decided that they are going to go on full-force with this busy life they've adopted regardless of the consequences, and I don't think it's a good thing. We shouldn't be too busy to let a sick kid lay around and recuperate when they are sick. Even for a "common cold." Ugh...colds make you feel lousy and getting some more rest is a good thing. Let your world stop spinning for a little while and teach your children some healthy habits--one of which is recognizing when they are sick and getting proper rest. I don't think it toughens you up to keep running at full speed when your body is working over-time to fight an illness. And I don't think it toughens you up to be exposed to a bunch of things and to be constantly sick. Our society's tendency these days is to just go go go go go and more is more. I'm voting for chicken soup and a lazy day in bed. Lots of water. Some extra vitamins. And keeping your germs and goo at home!

 

Adding: I also go to any length possible NOT to take my kids grocery shopping with me during flu season. I get in there and out of there as quickly as possible and hand sanitize and all that. Grocery stores/ Target/ Walmart/ etc. seem to be full of sick people--and I understand--they've got to eat and get their meds. So we just avoid it if at all possible. That really helps too!

[Caitilin]

We don't stay home unless we have a fever, REALLY sore throat, SEVERE cough, nausea, or diarrhea.

 

The common cold is SO common and so benign that we just blow our noses and keep going. I don't consider myself or my children "sick" unless they have actual inflammation like a fever. Green boogers don't count.

 

:iagree: this is our family too.

[Pretty in Pink]

I agree with this. I am sorry, but if your child has immunity issues, you are in a position to know this and adjust to it. I am not. No matter how compassionate I may be, I cannot know whether my children have been exposed to a contagious illness at daycare for which the symptoms are not yet obvious. I will not keep my kids home for a runny nose, which could just as easily be caused by a change in temperature or allergies.

 

I'm a single mom, so I have to take my kids on all my errands. They are usually well, but like anyone, they catch stuff and I can't predict and plan around it. Also, I chose a daycare that allowed other people's kids to make my kids sick continually over the first year+ that they attended, so I will not feel guilty when I follow that same policy when my kids have germs.

 

I also believe it's good for most kids, in the big picture, to be exposed to stuff so their immune system can get some exercise. Keeping my kids home may benefit the few immune-compromised kids whom they encounter, but it will not benefit overall public health. I actually think the pendulum needs to start swinging back when it comes to overprotectiveness of healthy kids against germs. I'm glad the precautions are available for immune-compromised kids, but they really shouldn't apply to most.

 

Exactly. My dh is military and there are times when I just don't have a choice. My eldest is just now of an age and maturity level to babysit his siblings if I need him to, but that has never been an option before. I will not keep my children, who feel otherwise quite well, home just for a drippy nose w/ clear mucous.

 

We stay home for sore throats, coughs (usually...we had some wildfires this summer that really aggravated my asthmatic child's airway and he coughed off and on quite a bit but wasn't actually ill), tummy bugs, all fevers, contagious rashes, etc., but not a clear, drippy nose.

[jillian]

My kids are very rarely sick. For that I am grateful. I am not grateful, however, when people bring their sick children out unnecessarily. I think it is doing a disservice to their child who would benefit from some additional rest and fluids so their body can recover and it is doing a disservice to my child who was completely fine until your sick kid coughed all over him. We went on a church outing last year in December and there was a rosy-cheeked 7 year old boy who just insisted on sitting next to my son and coughed on him all evening long. Consequently, my son then came down with a fever and awful cough that caused him to miss our Christmas program and big party at church. His sisters also caught it and all three of them were varying degrees of sick through our entire Christmas break. We couldn't go see grandparents. We couldn't go out and do some of the other fun things we had planned to do. Well, we could have, I guess, but I certainly wasn't going to expose anyone else to this. They were miserable! And I was very disappointed.

 

I think people have just decided that they are going to go on full-force with this busy life they've adopted regardless of the consequences, and I don't think it's a good thing. We shouldn't be too busy to let a sick kid lay around and recuperate when they are sick. Even for a "common cold." Ugh...colds make you feel lousy and getting some more rest is a good thing. Let your world stop spinning for a little while and teach your children some healthy habits--one of which is recognizing when they are sick and getting proper rest. I don't think it toughens you up to keep running at full speed when your body is working over-time to fight an illness. And I don't think it toughens you up to be exposed to a bunch of things and to be constantly sick. Our society's tendency these days is to just go go go go go and more is more. I'm voting for chicken soup and a lazy day in bed. Lots of water. Some extra vitamins. And keeping your germs and goo at home!

 

Adding: I also go to any length possible NOT to take my kids grocery shopping with me during flu season. I get in there and out of there as quickly as possible and hand sanitize and all that. Grocery stores/ Target/ Walmart/ etc. seem to be full of sick people--and I understand--they've got to eat and get their meds. So we just avoid it if at all possible. That really helps too!

I get what you are saying and I know for me that by saying that we will still go out if dd's got a common cold I mean that if we have somewhere we need to go, I.E. grocery store, post office because someone is expecting something I'm shipping out, etc, I will still go.

 

My husband's schedule is now far more predictable in the sense that I know his days off and know about when he'll be home. But at the same if he's working 7-4 I don't know if he's getting home at lunch for the day or if he's working a full day. I can't wait to run errands till he gets home because then it puts me in contact with more people and my anxiety spikes sky high and puts everyone in a situation in my family where it's unpleasant. Though during cold/flu season we go early in the morning, sanitize the cart handles and get done as fast as possible as well.

 

We do rest as much as possible if/when we get sick (rare for me and dd, dh has allergies that lay him up and gets terrible mouth/throat ulcers and always has. not really a cold and/or contagious but for all intents and purposes he looks it....no voice, mild fever, etc) but sometimes it just isn't possible due to various factors that are inherent in my family.

 

fwiw I understand sick kids being at children's events and how annoying that was/is. When dd was in preschool last year there was this little girl who always had green/yellow snot running down her face.....always sick at least once a month. at first it bugged me but i really realized that I can't say why they sent her to school sick. i know both parents worked, maybe they just weren't able to take anymore days, i don't know. however when dd caught a common cold and her snot turned colors she stayed home till it went clear.

 

I respect every parents choice to keep their child at home when sick or to take them out and everyone needs to make that call individually but I don't think it's fair to vilify the parents who take a mildly sick kiddo out. Vomiting, diarrhea, very high fever, etc is a completely other story to me though

[Peela]

I take sickness as a sign that myself or the kids need to rest more- and I try to organise our lives for that. But it's not always easy to do that.

I am not irked by sickness but I am conscious of people of being around sick people and do try to avoid them coughing on me- but I am not particularly germ phobic. While diseases are transmitted by germs, there is another huge part to getting sick- if one is run down, not getting enough sleep, not eating well etc. one is more likely to catch what is going around than if one is in a good healthy state. So if I am around sick people, I take echinacea or other immune stimulating herbs, get extra sleep etc and usually don't catch what is going around.

[jillian]

I take sickness as a sign that myself or the kids need to rest more- and I try to organise our lives for that. But it's not always easy to do that.

I am not irked by sickness but I am conscious of people of being around sick people and do try to avoid them coughing on me- but I am not particularly germ phobic. While diseases are transmitted by germs, there is another huge part to getting sick- if one is run down, not getting enough sleep, not eating well etc. one is more likely to catch what is going around than if one is in a good healthy state. So if I am around sick people, I take echinacea or other immune stimulating herbs, get extra sleep etc and usually don't catch what is going around.

I agree

[Night Elf]

I find that moms are usually on one end of this spectrum or another and are rarely in the middle, meaning they either are totally unphased by illness (meaning it doesn't alter their family outings/routine/attendance of social functions, etc. or they are totally annoyed with it and it greatly affects their day/outings/etc.

 

Your thoughts?

Where do you fit in?

 

I'm in the middle. I do not like when parents bring sick children to interact with other children. I've purposefully avoided children that I know were recently sick with stomach/intestinal bugs. Simple colds, sniffles or small cough, don't bother me. But I am not annoyed when my children are sick. Sickness is part of life. If I have to cancel something because one of us is sick, then that is just life.

[Momofeat]

I am a HORRIBLE mother when my kids are sick. I HATE sick, especially puke. I just cannot take it. My DH is much more compassionate and doting when they are sick. I just get way too stressed about it and get so worked up that I start to feel sick, even though I am not actually sick. My kids puke a lot, but have never had an ear infection and maybe one or two fevers between the 3 of them. We dont get sick hardly at all that way, but they puke all the time and I HATE HATE HATE puke. I just freak out. I suck really bad at being a "sick mom"

 

I despise when people bring sick kids out, or say that their kid puked a few hours ago but are fine now. I dont mind colds or snot at all though. That is just a part of life.

 

This amazed me, because my dc rarely catch stomach bugs, but they catch every durn cold that comes along--and they run higher-than-normal fevers.

 

Ex: Last week a ferocious stomach bug was going around. Victims would throw up for a few hours, be well for a day or so, and then throw up again. No fever. My ds had stomach issues for a few hours, ran a high fever, and then went 24 hours with no fever. The next day, the high fever was back.

[Farrar]

If we stayed in every time the kids had runny noses, we'd never go anywhere in the winter.

 

We stay out for fevers for a full 48 no matter if the fever is gone quicker and if the kid feels lousy or is at the first stages of a cough. But a kid with a little drip who is acting 100% normal otherwise or a kid who is finished being sick for a few days but has a lingering cough? That kid goes out. Sorry, folks. We pay for activities and we'd all go stir crazy sitting around besides.

 

I do get annoyed a little bit with the situation of being sick. But not with the kids. They just get indulged with TV, video games, special stories and board games. Plus, popsicles.

[SKL]

When I was a kid, my younger sister had a snotty nose ALL the time. She was NOT sick. My mom used to force her to take vitamin C (they didn't have tasty vitamins in those days) and she'd still have a runny nose. They called her S-- Snots at school, it was so constant.

 

My daughter coughs a lot. I asked the doctor about it, and he said she probably doesn't like the dust in her bedroom (which I do clean, but apparently she's hypersensitive to it). She is NOT sick.

 

So my point is, be careful about judging other parents for taking their kids out. They may feel fine and be less germy than your kid.

[Bassoonaroo]

I hate puke too. Ugh. And there have been a couple of puke diseases we've had where I simply KNOW where it came from -- and that angers me.

 

For example, I was in an afternoon co-op and my youngest (now 10) was in the preschool room and a little girl got all pale and quiet and then did both ends at once in the room. Explosively. They cleaned her and the room up the best they could and mom took her and her big brother home. Turns out that big brother had been sick the day before, and on the day of co-op, this little girl refused breakfast and barely ate lunch saying she felt bad. Mom was sure she was faking it for attention after seeing big brother get attention. The mom said she thought about not coming in but that she "needed to be there" to teach her kindergarten-aged class. My goodness, no mom is THAT required to be there. Someone else could've taught her class. Heck, throw in a video and let the kids watch that instead of doing the planned class. But she thought she "needed to be there." In two days, my dd, who was sitting right next to the mess, was sick. Two days after that, two more dc of mine, etc. I can trace the path. If she had just stayed home... I think it's pretty selfish to bring sick kids, especially little ones that don't tend to puke in toilets and do tend to smear boogers everywhere, around others when it's not necessary.

 

The older my kids are, the more I bring them (or let them go) places. I don't let them around little kids (like working in the church nursery) just knowing that the babies are more fragile.

 

I think it's a consideration of where you are going, how miserable the child is, how necessary it is to really be there, if any of the other people are sickly people.

 

There's a lot to consider. I try to stay home for all things tummy. But for drippy colds, we are out and about. Fevers stay home too...

[BethG]

Chalk me up as one of those who gets totally ticked off when folks bring their snotty "it's just a cold" sicko kid to an event when they could have easily not brought them.

 

I don't freak out over illness, but I have 2 kids with immature overactive immune systems and what may be a simple cold to your child when you so *thoughtfully* give it to MY child means febrile seizures (real FUN to hold your infant who is seizing knowing their heart isn't beating and they aren't breathing consistently for 5 minutes), temps in excess of 104F and vomiting to the point of needing an IV.

 

So please consider that "just a cold" isn't just a cold for quite a few kids. Other's inconsideration means that I can't take my kids in public for 6mo of the year until they grow out of it (around 6-7yo). I think a lot about the many kids to whom a cold is life threatening and how nice it must be for them to know YOUR kid is roaming the stores spewing germs around. If you are contagious -- stay home. Recognize there is a difference between a 7yo that can cough in a sleeve and blow their nose, wash their hands, and a 3yo who wipes snot on everything they see. Is the convenience of taking the sick kid shopping with you really worth making other families sick and miserable for weeks? How many people inhaling your kid's germs are happily shopping for those last things for the big family vacation they have been saving for all year? Maybe they have a newborn at home, or elderly parents with chronic illness?

 

We aren't designed to be constantly exposed to germs -- that's all part of modern living where West Nile is global. SO keep those germs LOCAL when you can -- stay home. And using the argument that some folks have jobs/schools that don't let them stay home doesn't excuse you when you DO have a choice.

 

If your kids are too young to contain their germs or their illness is super contagious, please, just keep them home. I promise to do the same. :D

 

I love you ChandlerMom!