Would you leave a very responsible 9-year-old home for an hour...

[melissel]

...while you are three minutes away at dance class?

 

DD9 hates sitting in the car at DD6's dance class. The waiting room is small and very crowded, and there's no other option (no cafe or outdoor seating) but the car. DD9 is very mature and responsible, and she'd probably play on her iPad or watch TV the whole time anyway. I'm conflicted though. I was a latchkey kid, so at her age, I was walking a mile home from school, across train tracks, to a house that was empty for at least three hours, so a part of my brain says it's ridiculous to worry. The other part is just plain paranoid and envisions fire engulfing the house while I sit in a car a quarter of a mile away :rolleyes:

 

DH thinks it's fine as long as DD is fine with it. WWYD?

 

TIA!

 

ETA: I forgot to say that I can't leave DD6 at class alone. There's a shoe changeover, and she needs my help in order for that to happen quickly. The dance teacher also periodically looks for the parents to make sure they're there. I'm not sure why--maybe a bad experience in the past? I would LOVE to leave her there, considering how close I am to home! But that won't work.

Edited September 27, 2011 by melissel

[LittleIzumi]

I was babysitting my little brother at nine. If you think she can handle it, and she has a way to contact you, I would.

[catz]

Do you have in range neighbors you know well? My 10 year old does that, but I always do a scan of the neighbors to see who's home. And it's usually for my daughter's dance class too. That's like torture to him! :D

 

I guess it depends on your child and your comfort level, but it's something we starting doing as my oldest approached 10. He's my rule follower. We'll see about kid #2 at 10 (not a rule follower).

[Chris in VA]

No, I wouldn't, but I'd leave a 6 yr old at dance class. :001_smile:

[catz]

No, I wouldn't, but I'd leave a 6 yr old at dance class. :001_smile:

 

:iagree: I leave my 7 year old at dance class too starting at age 6. I had her memorize my cell phone number in case she got done early for some reason. But if you're really 3 minutes away, I would have no problem with that. Especially if you're sitting out in your car anyway.

[melissel]

No, I wouldn't, but I'd leave a 6 yr old at dance class. :001_smile:

 

Oh, I forgot to say that I can't do that. There's a shoe changeover, and DD6 needs my help in order for that to happen quickly. The dance teacher also periodically looks for the parents to make sure they're there. I'm not sure why--maybe a bad experience in the past? I would LOVE to leave her there, considering how close I am to home! But that won't work.

[Snickerdoodle]

I said before in a previous thread I have done it many, many times.

[DianeW88]

Absolutely. I did it all the time when mine was 9.

[----]

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[Shellydon]

I have a very responsible 9 year old and I wouldn't.

[melissel]

At the age of 9 I was already babysitting my 3 younger sisters (5,6,&7). No way I'd do that!

 

Heh! I honestly don't think that will ever happen here. If the younger ever perceived that the older was in any way "in charge" of her, all hell would break loose!

[milovany]

In the situation you describe, I would. I would also have instructions, "This is what you are allowed to do for the next hour" then list those things for them to choose from. In our house, plopping in a video of Andy Griffith would take care of it. :001_smile:

[Puma Mom]

Under those circumstances, I would. I was getting myself off to school in an empty house when I was that age, so I think a 9yo with a history of not looking for trouble would be fine.

[abacus2]

It seems reasonable and probably safer than sitting in a car in a parking lot, but I would check your local laws; some states specify a minimum stay at home alone age.

[DesertDweller]

I would with a cell phone.

[swellmomma]

yes, if there was a neighbor home that was trusted and aware that the 9 yr old was home and could check in a couple times. ALso if your child knew said neighbor was going to check in and that if an emergency was to arise to get to that neighbor's house.

[phathui5]

I leave my 10 year old ds home several mornings a week when I take my 6yo to speech. This past week, I started letting 8yodd stay with him. We're seeing how that goes.

[Ria]

Yep. It wouldn't worry me.

[phathui5]

It seems reasonable and probably safer than sitting in a car in a parking lot, but I would check your local laws; some states specify a minimum stay at home alone age.

 

In most places, it seems to be around eight.

[Running the race]

No, I would not.

[higginszoo]

I would, provided it was the 9 year old's preference (which sounds like it is).

[Cera]

I would check the law. Where we live it wouldn't be legal.

[jfletcher8091]

What's up with that dance teacher? My daughter started changing shoes (in a ballet/tap class) by herself at age 4. The teacher does not expect/ desire the parents to help with this. I would not be worried about what "may" happen to the 9 year old, I would just think of how I could deal with it if something did because I had to be available to change dance shoes.

[Truscifi]

Yes.

[Soror]

Yes given what you said.

[myfunnybunch]

Yes.

[Tsutsie]

Yes, if the child is responsible and you are only 5 minutes away - sure! I would give the kid something to do which will take an hour - like playing Wii or painting something, or even watching a movie. This way the child is not likely to come up with something more mischievous or maybe even dangerous.

[elegantlion]

Yes, I would.

[melissel]

What's up with that dance teacher? My daughter started changing shoes (in a ballet/tap class) by herself at age 4. The teacher does not expect/ desire the parents to help with this. I would not be worried about what "may" happen to the 9 year old, I would just think of how I could deal with it if something did because I had to be available to change dance shoes.

 

I don't think she expects parents to be there to change shoes--that's just my DD6's issue, she's still struggling with the strap thing on her tap shoes and is easily frustrated. I think the teacher expects parents of the little ones to be there, just because. I just don't think she wants the little kids left there alone. She definitely doesn't care about the bigger kids--they get dropped all the time.

[Farrar]

Unless there was a specific reason not to, absolutely I would. I leave some younger children alone for nearly that long anyway.

 

But I agree with everyone that it's weird for the dance teacher to care if you're there. I'm also wondering about the shoe change (huh?) but that's a complete tangent.

[melissel]

Unless there was a specific reason not to, absolutely I would. I leave some younger children alone for nearly that long anyway.

 

But I agree with everyone that it's weird for the dance teacher to care if you're there. I'm also wondering about the shoe change (huh?) but that's a complete tangent.

 

They change from ballet shoes (easy) to tap shoes (hard for my DD6), and most of the kids come out for it, get a drink of water, have their parents help them, etc. DD's definitely not the only one needing assistance, though it will be nice when she doesn't anymore.

 

As for the teacher...maybe I've misunderstood some things I've overheard? I don't know. Maybe I'll just ask her and prep DD6 for my not being there. She definitely does not want me to leave her there now, but maybe as she gets more comfortable there (new school, new class, new shoes), she won't mind. Funny, because she is my more independent kid usually!

[Momof3littles]

Yes, if it was legal in my state and if I knew the child had the right skill set (knows how to call 911, won't answer the door, won't answer the phone and say no one is home, knows how to contact a neighbor, knows how to reach me, knows not to turn on the stove, etc.).

[Hedgehog]

Yes, if it was legal in my state and if I knew the child had the right skill set (knows how to call 911, won't answer the door, won't answer the phone and say no one is home, knows how to contact a neighbor, knows how to reach me, knows not to turn on the stove, etc.).

 

This. It would be particularly important to me that my child could contact me, and that we knew there would be a neighbour in at that time each week in case my kid needed immediate help.

[K&Rs Mom]

Yes, if it was legal in my state and if I knew the child had the right skill set (knows how to call 911, won't answer the door, won't answer the phone and say no one is home, knows how to contact a neighbor, knows how to reach me, knows not to turn on the stove, etc.).

 

:iagree: Before the first time I left K, we got an American Girl book from the library about staying home alone, and I quiz her periodically.

[shinyhappypeople]

...while you are three minutes away at dance class?

 

 

Yes, without question. I leave my reasonably responsible 6 and 8 year old DDs alone while I run to the corner store. That's only a 15 minute trip, but if they were both 8 or older, I wouldn't think twice about letting them be "on their own" for an hour. They'd love it :)

 

They know how to use the cell phone, how (and when) to call 9-1-1, my mom's phone number, which neighbors to ask for help and the usual safety stuff.

[Aubrey]

I can't really imagine why not. :001_smile:

 

ETA: I look at it like this: would you hire a sitter for just a 9yo for an hour in the afternoon? (I don't know--I've never had just a 9yo.) Would you put a kid that age in daycare? Ime, that's mostly just humiliating, as daycare centers that take older kids after school aren't *actually* equipped to know what to do w/ them.

 

At night, sure. For a longer stretch, probably. But an hour in the afternoon? Nah.

Edited September 27, 2011 by Aubrey

[twoxcell]

I have an 8 year old, and I wouldn't leave him home alone a year from now.

[Wabi Sabi]

Yes, I would as long as it was a reasonably mature and responsible kid. But, if he's going to stay at home playing on the iPad he could easily do the same thing in the waiting area of the dance studio.

[momma aimee]

...while you are three minutes away at dance class?

 

DD9 hates sitting in the car at DD6's dance class. The waiting room is small and very crowded, and there's no other option (no cafe or outdoor seating) but the car. DD9 is very mature and responsible, and she'd probably play on her iPad or watch TV the whole time anyway. I'm conflicted though. I was a latchkey kid, so at her age, I was walking a mile home from school, across train tracks, to a house that was empty for at least three hours, so a part of my brain says it's ridiculous to worry. The other part is just plain paranoid and envisions fire engulfing the house while I sit in a car a quarter of a mile away :rolleyes:

 

DH thinks it's fine as long as DD is fine with it. WWYD?

 

TIA!

 

ETA: I forgot to say that I can't leave DD6 at class alone. There's a shoe changeover, and she needs my help in order for that to happen quickly. The dance teacher also periodically looks for the parents to make sure they're there. I'm not sure why--maybe a bad experience in the past? I would LOVE to leave her there, considering how close I am to home! But that won't work.

 

no I'd give her the choice to read in the car if she liked, but only if she agreed to come in an physically in 1/2 way.

 

it is only an hour, your older DD just has to deal, being a sib is not always fun. I am sure there are, or will be time, when little sister has to deal.

 

ETA I do not leave my 12 yo nephew home alone ...I personally feel while a child might be mature enough, that is just too much to ask of them -- there are too many "what ifs".

 

sitting and reading for an hour (or playing Ipad) while dance class is on is not an unrealistic request of the older child

Edited September 27, 2011 by momma aimee
to add

[Hockey Mom]

I have an 8 year old, and I wouldn't leave him home alone a year from now.

 

LOL I was thinking the same thing. My 8 year old would love it though.

 

Here's a list, by state, of minimum age requirements:

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

[LidiyaDawn]

...while you are three minutes away at dance class?

 

DD9 hates sitting in the car at DD6's dance class. The waiting room is small and very crowded, and there's no other option (no cafe or outdoor seating) but the car. DD9 is very mature and responsible, and she'd probably play on her iPad or watch TV the whole time anyway. I'm conflicted though. I was a latchkey kid, so at her age, I was walking a mile home from school, across train tracks, to a house that was empty for at least three hours, so a part of my brain says it's ridiculous to worry. The other part is just plain paranoid and envisions fire engulfing the house while I sit in a car a quarter of a mile away :rolleyes:

 

DH thinks it's fine as long as DD is fine with it. WWYD?

 

TIA!

 

ETA: I forgot to say that I can't leave DD6 at class alone. There's a shoe changeover, and she needs my help in order for that to happen quickly. The dance teacher also periodically looks for the parents to make sure they're there. I'm not sure why--maybe a bad experience in the past? I would LOVE to leave her there, considering how close I am to home! But that won't work.

 

Without having read any other replies (yet) - given the information in this post and assuming no disabilities or other conflicting bits, yes - I would be comfortable with this scenario. I assume you have a phone and she'd have a way to call you? (landline, cell, etc)*, it's only an hour, and you're 3 minutes away.

[HiddenJewel]

Not without a neighbor home that could step in and help. Being close is great as long as nothing goes wrong which detains you from getting home. But we don't plan for the rosy picture when making such decisions.

[Mommy22alyns]

That's tough! I think that Rebecca could handle being alone for an hour. I also didn't start dropping Becca off at gymnastics until she was 7. Sylvia is okay when she's in the class with Rebecca.

[beccad777]

I would. I leave my DS9 at home sometimes for short periods of time. He is a fairly responsible kid and follows the rules. I think you would be fine. My sister was babysitting me and my younger brother all the time at 9.

[bettyandbob]

haven't read replies. I started teaching oldest about staying home alone at 8. He went to a Red Cross class for staying home alone at 8 as well. From then on he only went to something if I was going to be gone a long time or he had something to do so the errand was coordinated.

[melissel]

I think it's interesting that people mention a neighbor who could help if she's alone. Am I the only one who doesn't trust any neighbors enough to let them know she's alone in the house? I'd rather my neighbors NOT know there might be a kid at home alone. We have good neighbors as far as we know, but there are very few people I'd care to have know that my child was alone for an hour. Most of them are family. I feel like the neighbor thing is more of a risk than some random dangerous thing happening while she's home by herself. Is that weird?

[Mommy22alyns]

I think it's interesting that people mention a neighbor who could help if she's alone. Am I the only one who doesn't trust any neighbors enough to let them know she's alone in the house? I'd rather my neighbors NOT know there might be a kid at home alone. We have good neighbors as far as we know, but there are very few people I'd care to have know that my child was alone for an hour. Most of them are family. I feel like the neighbor thing is more of a risk than some random dangerous thing happening while she's home by herself. Is that weird?

 

 

Nope. The girls play with our next-door neighbors' child, but I wouldn't pop over there to tell them Becca was alone in the house. I don't even know any of our other neighbors well enough to say boo to them on the street!

[momma aimee]

I think it's interesting that people mention a neighbor who could help if she's alone. Am I the only one who doesn't trust any neighbors enough to let them know she's alone in the house? I'd rather my neighbors NOT know there might be a kid at home alone. We have good neighbors as far as we know, but there are very few people I'd care to have know that my child was alone for an hour. Most of them are family. I feel like the neighbor thing is more of a risk than some random dangerous thing happening while she's home by herself. Is that weird?

 

in my location -- one house near us -- i'd be fine to tell Miss paula if i had a child here alone, i tell her if i have a sitter here for the boys as back up -- at my folks house in a trditional hood of blocks of house -- NOPE I'd not advertise it

[Aubrey]

I think it's interesting that people mention a neighbor who could help if she's alone. Am I the only one who doesn't trust any neighbors enough to let them know she's alone in the house? I'd rather my neighbors NOT know there might be a kid at home alone. We have good neighbors as far as we know, but there are very few people I'd care to have know that my child was alone for an hour. Most of them are family. I feel like the neighbor thing is more of a risk than some random dangerous thing happening while she's home by herself. Is that weird?

 

No, I agree w/ you. No advertising.

[HiddenJewel]

I think it's interesting that people mention a neighbor who could help if she's alone. Am I the only one who doesn't trust any neighbors enough to let them know she's alone in the house? I'd rather my neighbors NOT know there might be a kid at home alone. We have good neighbors as far as we know, but there are very few people I'd care to have know that my child was alone for an hour. Most of them are family. I feel like the neighbor thing is more of a risk than some random dangerous thing happening while she's home by herself. Is that weird?

 

It would have to be a neighbor we had a relationship with, not just one we know by name.