S/O of the little boys and weapons thread....video games with guns

[Mama2Many4]

So I have two boys that are almost 8 and 6. My husband and I allow gun play and let the boys also play Xbox 360 games like Medal of Honor and Zombie shooter games. We held them off for a long while, but they were never wired to like Mariokart or other "kids" games. I'm wondering if we're the only ones who allow this or do others.

 

They understand that it's not real and know that in life when you get killed, you stay dead. They just enjoy shooting the zombies and what not.

[twoforjoy]

DS can play video games with cartoon violence. I would not be okay with him playing a first-person shooter.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

We're pretty radical on this issue. Our boys (ages nearly-7 to nearly-15) do not play video games at all. We own no gaming systems and steer our interactions with friends toward the great outdoors when possible.

[Reeciecup]

I allowed my son to play those games when he was that age, and now at age 14 I wish I had never started it. Although he's a pretty good kid, he says very violent things from time to time, and has this idea that no one could ever hurt him because he could kill them first. I think this comes from the violent games I have let him play.

[Mama2Many4]

I allowed my son to play those games when he was that age, and now at age 14 I wish I had never started it. Although he's a pretty good kid, he says very violent things from time to time, and has this idea that no one could ever hurt him because he could kill them first. I think this comes from the violent games I have let him play.

 

Wow. You've really given me something to think about here. I thought it was no harm no foul, but I wasn't thinking in the long term. We do have a Wii with sports games and a Kinect with the dance games and such. Maybe I'll just limit them to those and explain that the other games just aren't appropriate for them.

[Lovemyblessings]

I allow only non-violent games. My 9-year-old loves the Lego Wii games and I guess you could say they have some violence- but Lego people shooting eachother and reassembling seems harmless to me'. I know my son BEGS to go play Halo at the neighbors, but I just don't think it's a good idea for him.

[DawnM]

Well, first I would have to limit my husband.....

[homeschooler2003]

I do not let my kids play any first person games. Lego and games like that are okay but we do talk about games vs reality.

[*********]

I allow video games, but not violent ones. Shooting is ok when it is beyond unrealistic (like Mario shooting ice balls at man eating plants).

 

This is where we draw our line as well.

[amey311]

No first person shooter games here. The Lego games are okay.

 

DH and I talked about the finer details of FPS. Officially Duck Hunt is a FPS. We're still not okay with the boys playing those games.

 

Thing 1 (10.75) really likes driving games now that we have some of those. He crashes cars into things, and we're okay with that. This is Gran Tourismo and Need for Speed. NOT Grand Theft Auto.

 

I didn't allow guns as toys for a long time. We gave in with Nerf guns. There are several boys on the street and they all have them, so yeah - we caved to peer pressure, but my kids have been turning benign things into guns for a long time. Thing 1 did it at 2 with the sprayer on a girl friend's toy kitchen sink. They've bent Barbies in half for a similar effect. I do NOT allow gun play in the house (no running and I can't stand the noises they make).

[LidiyaDawn]

Well, first I would have to limit my husband.....

 

Same :laugh:

 

[heck, i like to blow apart a few zombies now and then myself]

[BarbecueMom]

We're a gamer household. DH grew up playing with his dad (shooter games, as well as other less violent types). Neither is even remotely violent in real life, and we still all play together as a social activity. In fact, we end up playing video games more often because no one wants to play Cranium with me anymore...

 

IMO, if you are going to allow violent video games into your home and let children play it, it needs to be a family activity. It is much harder for a kid to become more aggressive from games when Mom is playing too. Plus nursing babies make it easier to steady your hands for snipers matches.

[tntgoodwin]

My 5 year old dd sometimes likes to play Call of Duty. I don't have a problem with it.

 

I played a lot of violent computer games when I was a kid (Doom, Duke Nukem, Half-Life). I am not at all a violent person. I think violent games could bring out those tendencies in some kids, but those tendencies are already there.

[Cindyz]

We don't and I don't plan to.

 

I have thought that some of these shooter games probably help boys to release some testosterone surges they go through while maturing. The problem now is that many of these games have voice to voice with other players. Screaming obscenities at other players definitely crosses a line for me.

[LibraryLover]

I do have a problem with little kids and those realistic games. I'd say no for littles, even as a person who allowed 'weapons' play. My sons (22 & 17) do play Call of Duty at times. Pretty grim stuff.

Edited July 16, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Spryte]

Do I have the only boy who doesn't care for video games? :)

 

We don't play video games because my 7 yr old doesn't care for them, but even if we did... After reading Boys Adrift by Dr Leonard Sax... We would opt out of violent first person shooter games. It's not that I think those games will lead our kids to be violent - I don't. I think kids are smart enough to understand that games are not real. But I do think that Sax had some good points on those types of games, and that there are long-term impacts in other areas, including motivation.

 

But take my thoughts with a grain of salt. My stepson played those games at his mother's house - loved them - despite not playing them at ours. It could be that I am blaming some of his current issues on games. He was the reason I read Sax's book, he's my boy adrift, and it's possible that I am reading too much into it. There are a lot of factors that have led to his being "adrift" as a young adult, and games are only one small component.

 

Just for the sake of clarity though, maybe I should add that we don't allow weapons play at all - no toy guns, etc.

[4wildberrys]

I allowed my son to play those games when he was that age, and now at age 14 I wish I had never started it. Although he's a pretty good kid, he says very violent things from time to time, and has this idea that no one could ever hurt him because he could kill them first. I think this comes from the violent games I have let him play.

 

Maybe---but I really think it's just the way some kids, especially boys, are wired. We live in a very feminized society that tries to take the hunter/killer away from the male species. Males are supposed to hunt and gather---which can be violent. Unless you have let your son play violent video games 24/7 with no input of family values----I really doubt his talk is due to the games. It sounds like regular young male to me ;)

 

Our son gets lectures if he talk violence that sounds video-gamish. We have allowed him some violent games starting about 13 or 14 with explicit instructions that he understands they are games and NOT how we deal with problems in real life. Our son really likes warfare/violent video games, but at 16 doesn't play them as much. We weren't okay with the violent games when he was much younger----but when those hormones start kicking in, some guys need a 'violent' outlet. JMO.

[Robyn]

My 5 year old dd sometimes likes to play Call of Duty. I don't have a problem with it.

 

 

My 12 year old plays Call of Duty and, um, I'll (reluctantly) admit that my almost 5 year old is my first choice for sidekick come the zombie apocalypse. We shut off the sound and turn down the gore when he is allowed to play(which isn't often), so it is less intense.

 

He mostly plays Little Big Planet or Mario games on the Wii. My husband and I both game, so we won't forbid them. They do have time limits, especially the younger, and we'd reevalate if we saw behavior issues.

 

However, my oldest got an Xbox for his 5th birthday and he hardly has aggression issues. Maybe he gets it all out in his martial arts class. :lol:

[Audrey]

I have a zero tolerance policy on all weapons -- meaning, no pretend weapon play either. That said, I know many kids who play a variety of weapons-filled games and most of them are not violent kids. Correlation does not equal causation, so to speak.

[ChiMomNP]

I'm sitting here watching my son play one of the Call of Duty games with his online gamer buddies. He is 12. I enjoy watching these kids form teams and strategize in the games. Playing the XBOX is a great "carrot" for getting the behavior we want. He plays in our family room, so one of us is always here watching when he is playing.

[Mama2Many4]

We're a gamer household. DH grew up playing with his dad (shooter games, as well as other less violent types). Neither is even remotely violent in real life, and we still all play together as a social activity. In fact, we end up playing video games more often because no one wants to play Cranium with me anymore...

 

IMO, if you are going to allow violent video games into your home and let children play it, it needs to be a family activity. It is much harder for a kid to become more aggressive from games when Mom is playing too. Plus nursing babies make it easier to steady your hands for snipers matches.

 

Yes, we also are a gamer household. I have both left 4 dead games and that's what the boys like to play. Big oversized fat zombies, witches, etc. Nothing even remotely real life about that. We all sit around and play and laugh together. It's our families version of monopoly really. :lol:

My 5 year old dd sometimes likes to play Call of Duty. I don't have a problem with it.

 

I played a lot of violent computer games when I was a kid (Doom, Duke Nukem, Half-Life). I am not at all a violent person. I think violent games could bring out those tendencies in some kids, but those tendencies are already there.

 

I did too and I turned out okay. I mean, as far as Contra goes on the old NES, but my DH and I both played "violent" video games growing up and we're okay. I don't allow cursing though. If I know a game even has light curse words, we mute the sound on it.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Well, first I would have to limit my husband.....

:iagree:

exactly!

 

Both my children play Call of Duty, but we don't sensor much(my children actually self sensor). Instead we have regular in depth discussions about what's real. We discuss what is appropriate behavior during and after playing violent video games. I have very sweet and mostly gentle children(they are children after all). They understand that the games aren't real.

[Heather in Neverland]

Both my boys ages 7 and 13 play shooting games on the xbox like Halo and Call of Duty (I do keep the volume off because of language and I don't allow games with sexual content).

 

But then again, my 13yo ds is also an award-winning competitive sharpshooter (or he WAS until we moved to a country where all guns are outlawed) and we are card-carrying members of the NRA and I come from a long line of hunters so I guess it is in our DNA. :D

[msk]

We live in a very feminized society that tries to take the hunter/killer away from the male species. Males are supposed to hunt and gather---which can be violent.

 

I disagree-- I feel like there's quite a bit of violence in our society. Gangsta rap, football, boxing, and hockey are the first immensely popular things that spring to mind; I'm not condemning those things, but I do think violence or the threat or symbolism of violence are a big part of what makes them popular. I feel one of society's main functions (and one of the main functions of many organized religions) is to control violent instincts (in both men and women) and restrict them to certain outlets/contexts that society has decided are appropriate.

 

I don't think those sorts of games are always bad, but I do think too much of that sort of play can be bad for some people. For many people they are purely recreation or perhaps an outlet for frustration, but I can imagine unhealthy play encouraging violent feelings in a minority of people too. There are unhealthy ways to do/use almost everything, though.

[twoxcell]

I would never allow a game like Medal of Honor for my ds simply because it is rated M. My ds is 8 and loves playing VG. He has a Wii, and a ds. We pretty much only allow E or E10 games. I think he has a couple T games but they are Super Hero Related. I don't think we own any games that have real guns. His favorites are Mario, any Lego game, Star Wars games and Super Hero games. Neither my dh or I really ever play games so we do not own any games that are off limits to him.

[twoxcell]

Wow and here I was thinking I was wild and crazy for letting my ds play a couple of T games, and watch an occasional PG 13 movie(i.e. super hero type things.) I'm suprised how many of you are letting your little ones play or watch rated M games. To each his own I guess.;)

[angela in ohio]

I allowed my son to play those games when he was that age, and now at age 14 I wish I had never started it. Although he's a pretty good kid, he says very violent things from time to time, and has this idea that no one could ever hurt him because he could kill them first. I think this comes from the violent games I have let him play.

 

Just from being around some kiddos who play these games and talk like that, my 9 yo ds keeps picking it up. Just when I get it talked/ threatened/ disciplined out of him, he sees one of them (we know three) and picks it up again. :glare:

 

We're not anti-gun (dh is an NRA instructor :D,) and we have a Wii, and we even have a hunting game with a gun, but I don't do games that require practicing shooting other people.

[Wamommy]

Personally, I would never allow my boys to play violent video games of any type. I have a 13 year old boy and the extent of his video game play is Backyard Baseball.

[Guest]

I allow video games, but not violent ones. Shooting is ok when it is beyond unrealistic (like Mario shooting ice balls at man eating plants).

 

 

:iagree:

[Carrie75]

We do the Wii Lego games here. Honestly, I wish they didn't like to play them. I don't like the shooting. I also wish they didn't like tv. I do try to get them to just sit and read quietly. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work.

I do, however, use their Wii time or tv time as my time to get stuff done around here and let them chill. They get plenty of time outside with friends and organized sports.

[TheReader]

Wow. You've really given me something to think about here. I thought it was no harm no foul, but I wasn't thinking in the long term. We do have a Wii with sports games and a Kinect with the dance games and such. Maybe I'll just limit them to those and explain that the other games just aren't appropriate for them.

 

Yes, we also are a gamer household. I have both left 4 dead games and that's what the boys like to play. Big oversized fat zombies, witches, etc. Nothing even remotely real life about that. We all sit around and play and laugh together. It's our families version of monopoly really. :lol:

 

 

I did too and I turned out okay. I mean, as far as Contra goes on the old NES, but my DH and I both played "violent" video games growing up and we're okay. I don't allow cursing though. If I know a game even has light curse words, we mute the sound on it.

 

I was going to chime in and suggest something less realistic that still has the shooting, but I see you say that the game they play is fairly unrealistic. In that case, I think you are probably okay.

 

We haven't allowed Call of Duty *unless Dad is playing too* yet, but they have several other games. There is a Paintball game that's similar to Call of Duty, but paintball war instead of real war. That's what I'll be steering my boys to if they ask for CoD at home (they have only played at a cousin's house so far).

 

They also have a hunting game, various Lego games, and many of the Legend of Zelda games are a bit more "violent" though with bows & arrows, swords, etc. not guns. Somehow that feels less icky to me, LOL!

 

Oh, we go by ratings mostly. T is okay, but we've told them No games rated M. yet.

 

Anyway, thus far we've not noticed any ill effects.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

We have a wii. Ds mostly plays Lego games, but he has a hunting game. Dd likes cooking mama, and a surgery game. When we visit my father ds will use my step-brother's xbox, but (surprisingly) isn't drawn to the killing games. He likes Tony Hawk, Simpsons, and Ninja Turtles. I say surprisingly because he loves zombie type movies and plays with his (obviously toy, bright orange and green) guns all the time.

 

I guess I might let him play other shooting games, but I'd want to see it first.

[NanceXToo]

DS can play video games with cartoon violence. I would not be okay with him playing a first-person shooter.

 

:iagree: My son who will be 6 in November LOVES the game "Plants vs. Zombies." He's allowed to play that, for instance. But a realistic, violent, gory looking video game? No, not yet, if only because I'd worry it would give him nightmares or something!

[kewb]

No first person shooter games allowed. No realistic people violence allowed. Mario type violence is okay.

[mom31257]

We are holding off as long as we can on the really violent stuff. I figure if we allow it now, what is he going to want to do when he's a teen?

 

We have a Wii and the only game I would call violent that we've allowed our 8 year old to play is Aragorn's Quest. It's a lot of sword fighting. It's pretty mild. There is no way we would allow our son to play Medal of Honor now, and never anything with zombies that look like zombie movies. I can't stand horror movie stuff.

The closest he gets to zombies is zombie tag on Wii party, but they are just Miis walking around in a daze with their arms out.

 

Our son loves the Lego games. It's fighting, but just legos. Would your kids like those?

 

BTW, Wii party is probably our favorite game ever! I highly recommend it. There are tons of minigames and lot of things to do together as a family. You can play virtual board games, quiz shows, and competitions.

[angela in ohio]

BTW, Wii party is probably our favorite game ever! I highly recommend it. There are tons of minigames and lot of things to do together as a family. You can play virtual board games, quiz shows, and competitions.

 

Wii Party is the favorite here. We play it like we play board games or cards, as a family.

 

We like interactive (among each other) games. Big Brain Academy is another one like that.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

zach plays with his dads "shooter" type video games sometimes but knows it's just a game and that in real life guns aren't for play--he is still into kiddie video games mostly but sometimes sees dad playing and has to be like him....

[Brilliant]

Wow. You've really given me something to think about here. I thought it was no harm no foul, but I wasn't thinking in the long term. We do have a Wii with sports games and a Kinect with the dance games and such. Maybe I'll just limit them to those and explain that the other games just aren't appropriate for them.

 

It depends on the kid. Not every boy who plays FPS games turns violent or aggressive in real life. My 15yo has played these games for years, and he is not violent, aggressive, profane, etc. at all IRL.

[katilac]

Well, I have young GIRLS, but they are right there with dad playing some first person shooter games. Nothing very gory, they are too squeamish for that, but definitely the idea of trying to kill the enemy before he kills you.

 

While I would have preferred them to stick with Tetris and such, I can't say that there's been any evident harm in it. I think it helps that they have the example of dad being a person who plays these games, while in real life being a caring person who would never harm another, and who doesn't go around using violent or vulgar terms in conversation.

 

As with most things, I think it very much depends on the kid. My younger dd is the type who can't really watch the Disney teen type tv shows, b/c she would be repeating the smart aleck behavior :rolleyes: but the violent video games do not bleed over into her behavior or conversation. Actually, they seem to have a positive effect - - like they are an outlet for her frustration and drama, rather than getting her over-excited and unfocused like some kids.

 

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer.

[rafiki]

.

[Peela]

We allowed them and still do.

 

I think they can have a bad effect if there are lots of other factors present, and addiction is a factor worth considering. ANd I don't really like them. But ds has gone through stages of violent games and hasnt really been into them for a year or so.

 

WE had to stop a certain online game because of its severe addictive effect on ds- he was around 11 or 12 I think. He lived and breathed this game. But once that was banned , the games haven't been a problem.

 

Balance- if they are not showing addictive signs, where they cant stop thinking about the game all the time- and they haven plenty of physical activity and read books etc, it seems to be ok. At least....we managed it and since he is not even interested in online games at the moment, except silly ones he plays on his laptop in class and gets in trouble for....for him, it doesnt seem to be too much of a problem.

 

Each kid needs to be evaluated separately, I imagine. I doubt games are ever the sole factor in violent behaviour.

[WishboneDawn]

It depends on the kid. Not every boy who plays FPS games turns violent or aggressive in real life. My 15yo has played these games for years, and he is not violent, aggressive, profane, etc. at all IRL.

 

There are studies that show an increase of aggression after playing violent games and these are often cited by people who are against violent games. What's missing though is that those studies only show an increase for a very limited time after the games - around 20 mins or so. No long term effects regarding an increase in aggression or violence have been found.

 

I've been a gamer since childhood and known lots of gamers. The worst effect I've seen is on one friend in particular, and just the one, who's become a bit of a hermit due to his WOW love. That's about it.

[KatDilan]

My dad ruined it for us. He bought the kids a Wii. :glare:

 

We have a wii, but only have sport/dance/old skool mario games on it. I feel it's an acceptable compromise. Plus, the wii allows for much more social interaction and family play than more traditional gaming systems. I sort of think of it as the modern family board game. ;)

[elizabeth]

Maybe---but I really think it's just the way some kids, especially boys, are wired. We live in a very feminized society that tries to take the hunter/killer away from the male species. Males are supposed to hunt and gather---which can be violent. Unless you have let your son play violent video games 24/7 with no input of family values----I really doubt his talk is due to the games. It sounds like regular young male to me ;)

 

Our son gets lectures if he talk violence that sounds video-gamish. We have allowed him some violent games starting about 13 or 14 with explicit instructions that he understands they are games and NOT how we deal with problems in real life. Our son really likes warfare/violent video games, but at 16 doesn't play them as much. We weren't okay with the violent games when he was much younger----but when those hormones start kicking in, some guys need a 'violent' outlet. JMO.

 

What of female lions in a pride, they do nearly all the hunting. I do not think that there is such a clear delineation by gender as one might initially think. The jury is still out anthropologically speaking. It is an interesting concept.

[4wildberrys]

We allowed them and still do.

 

I think they can have a bad effect if there are lots of other factors present, and addiction is a factor worth considering. ANd I don't really like them. But ds has gone through stages of violent games and hasnt really been into them for a year or so.

 

WE had to stop a certain online game because of its severe addictive effect on ds- he was around 11 or 12 I think. He lived and breathed this game. But once that was banned , the games haven't been a problem.

 

Balance- if they are not showing addictive signs, where they cant stop thinking about the game all the time- and they haven plenty of physical activity and read books etc, it seems to be ok. At least....we managed it and since he is not even interested in online games at the moment, except silly ones he plays on his laptop in class and gets in trouble for....for him, it doesnt seem to be too much of a problem.

 

Each kid needs to be evaluated separately, I imagine. I doubt games are ever the sole factor in violent behaviour.

:iagree: 100%

 

Was that online game Runescape? There was another one we did NOT allow ds to subscribe to because we heard terrible stories about the addictive qualities of it.

[Jenny in Florida]

We're pretty radical on this issue. Our boys (ages nearly-7 to nearly-15) do not play video games at all. We own no gaming systems and steer our interactions with friends toward the great outdoors when possible.

 

For most of my kids' growing up time, we did not own a video game system. My husband bought a PS2 for himself, which he occasionally shared with the kids. But they were allowed to play only non-violent games (car racing, skiing, etc.).

 

We got a Wii a couple of years ago, but it rarely gets used. Every now and then, we'll spend a whole weekend playing Rock Band or Wii Sports or something, but then we turn it off for months.

 

The only games we own with any violent content at a couple of Star Wars ones (light saber duels). They get the least play time, it seems.