Guest momk2000 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 does anyone else notice this? Warning - Long vent! Why are people so unfriendly in our world today? I'm especially referring to other moms that are associated with the same groups, etc...my children are in. I'm not asking anyone to be my best friend, but sometimes I think it would be like torture for some of these women to just say hello, or even crack a smile as they pass by. I try to say hello to everyone, but when they don't even look up at you, it's kind of hard to do. Some go so far as to look the other way. I try to at least give a friendly smile, and if I have the opportunity will say hello just to be friendly. This is something that has bothered me for a long time, but it has really been getting to me lately. Today we came home from an activity and I was halfway in tears. As we were leaving, I passed by one of the moms in the group, gave her a friendly smile and said hello. This is someone that I am not "friends" with, but she knows me from our involvement in the group. She just kept walking, didn't even look at me, and had a very serious look on her face. I used to think, well maybe the person is preoccupied and didn't see me, etc.., but it just happens way too much. I'm really fed up with how rude people are today. I even get this in church of all places. It is really hurtful, especially when you greet someone and don't get an answer back. We recently started going to a new church, and I really like it a lot. The only thing that turns my stomach, is how snobby the women are there. It's a shame, because I am not as involved in church activities for that one reason. I just feel like I want to cry my eyes out right now. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 :grouphug: Honestly, that's why I prefer my social interaction to be online. Sad, isn't it? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I'm sorry. I've had that experience in groups too. On the other hand, other people have responded very well to my smiles and cheery greetings. (But my worst experiences have been with other moms). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry, that stinks. I can tell you that I am painfully shy unless I'm already comfortable around someone, so I might possibly come off as ignoring you in certain situations. However, that's probably not the case for the majority of people you're coming into contact with, so I don't know why you'd get the cold shoulder from so many people :( That is a very sad thing. Try not to take it personally though--it's definitely their issue, not yours :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disney Dreaming Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Yes, I have the same problem here. I thought it was just here in our county(at least I know it isn't me!). Out of 20 or so moms at our homeschool pe class I have had 2 try to make me feel welcome in 2 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Do you live in my town? Seriously, would it pain people to just smile? I'm not asking for you to pour out your heart to me. Just a simple hello would suffice. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in middle school he!!. If there is no one else around, people will talk to me. Heaven forbid someone sees these women talking to me! You know, I am the weird homeschool mom that is always with her kids and doesn't even have the audacity to work. Nevermind the fact that I talk to everyone, am friendly, somewhat intelligent, and kinda funny-ish. OP, I too have left places on the brink of tears. I just don't understand why. I don't smell bad, I brush my teeth and hair, my kids mostly at human in public, my dh is cute, yet people still won't talk to me. I think a lot of it has to do with the dynamic in our town. We have a major employer in town. The best-paying jobs are usually given to former Navy guys due to years of experience. The natives seem a bit hostile about this. Meh. I'm getting to the point that I just don't care anymore. I'm not losing out on some great friendship with someone who can't even be bothered to acknowledge the presence of another human being. Their loss, not mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Ok, that is true for me as well. It takes me a zillion encounters with a person until I feel comfortable. I might come off as unfriendly. It's just nerves though. Wendy, you can sit next to me at dinner on Thursday then. We can pretend we're old friends and be comfortable together! Or we can just sit in silence and not have to make small talk--that way you have me on one side and your DH on the other! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 does anyone else notice this? Warning - Long vent! Why are people so unfriendly in our world today? I'm especially referring to other moms that are associated with the same groups, etc...my children are in. I'm not asking anyone to be my best friend, but sometimes I think it would be like torture for some of these women to just say hello, or even crack a smile as they pass by. I try to say hello to everyone, but when they don't even look up at you, it's kind of hard to do. Some go so far as to look the other way. I try to at least give a friendly smile, and if I have the opportunity will say hello just to be friendly. This is something that has bothered me for a long time, but it has really been getting to me lately. Today we came home from an activity and I was halfway in tears. As we were leaving, I passed by one of the moms in the group, gave her a friendly smile and said hello. This is someone that I am not "friends" with, but she knows me from our involvement in the group. She just kept walking, didn't even look at me, and had a very serious look on her face. I used to think, well maybe the person is preoccupied and didn't see me, etc.., but it just happens way too much. I'm really fed up with how rude people are today. I even get this in church of all places. It is really hurtful, especially when you greet someone and don't get an answer back. We recently started going to a new church, and I really like it a lot. The only thing that turns my stomach, is how snobby the women are there. It's a shame, because I am not as involved in church activities for that one reason. I just feel like I want to cry my eyes out right now. :confused: I have exactly the same problem. Becca has been in choir with a couple of girls for 3 years now, and I see their mom all the time. She used to exchange a few words with me, but then at one recital I tried to make eye contact and smile, and she just looked the other way. :confused: So there's that. Then one time I saw the mom of a girl Becca started gymnastics with at our arts center. She was talking with some other people but Becca wanted to say Hi to her and her daughter. We stood there for ages and she never even looked over. I nearly cried. We'd been in the same gymnastics class for years, and she can't even turn her head and acknowledge me? Then I thought I'd made a friend. Becca was in gymnastics class with another girl and I met the mom in the lobby. We realized we were both homeschoolers, so we started chatting, the girls became friends, she introduced me to a couple of hs activities in the area, we had a playdate and got invited to birthday parties... and then nothing. I got "cut." Do I have cooties or something? The girls' co-op. Nothing. Gymnastics. Nothing. Choir. Nothing. AHG. Nothing. I don't know what's wrong with me. :confused: (I'm sorry this got so long - obviously I have no social graces!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Oh, yes, absolutely. I've had the exact same problem, in a different country, even, and I know people never used to be like this. Why? I really can't fathom it. I'm stubborn, I keep smiling and saying hello even if I'm ignored a hundred times. I'm sure people just think I'm really odd :tongue_smilie:. However, one of my best friends now, a lovely, loyal, kind, wonderful person was one of those people I had to keep forcing myself to be friendly with over weeks of seeing her every day at my sons' school. I still don't understand why she came across as so aloof and unfriendly at first. Maybe she just took a while to warm up, I've never asked. It does really upset and annoy me more than just about anything though that people can be so stuck up and unfriendly for no reason. A smile hello costs nothing and can make another person's day. :001_smile: Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColoNative Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I can totally understand how you feel! I find that people in general all over are grumpy. I have to remember that I do not know what is going on in their lives. Back in 2003, we lost our son who was born too early. I remember walking around stores, the mall, church, etc. and seeing people (especially pregnant ladies) and just wanting to cry. I am sure I sent the message that I was uncaring, unfriendly and generally a sour person. This wasn't true, but since no one could see what was happening inside and the heartbreak I was feeling. Now, that doesn't excuse the lack of friendliness in people - it just gives a perspective of other people. I work on being friendly regardless of the reaction. Sooner or later, I'll meet someone who returns the friendly reaction but I, too, find it takes a while. There are more "unfriendly" than friendly people. It's sad! There is so much to be thankful for and rejoice about - but others don't see it that way. Melody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RachelFlores Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 :grouphug: So sorry you are dealing with this. It is so hard to be outside the IN crowd. I am shy and HATE being surrounded by strangers so it takes me a long time to make friends and feel comfortable. One thing (which I find hard to do myself) that I've noticed really helps break the ice is to greet people by name when you see them. It is automatic to look up when your name is said, not always so automatic when it's just a hello. Also, something I'm working on is actually planning playdates and dinners to get to know people, it's uncomfortable, but waiting for others to make the first move results in no friends no matter the groups I join. And always remember if they do brush you off, it is their loss, not yours. (so much easier to type that than feel it in the situation though.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I still think people really are preoccupied, probably more than you think. Not everyone of course, some people really are just jerks. But I know sometimes I am so tired and just stare into space...if someone is smiling at me I wouldn't even notice and they would think I was choosing not to respond back to them. And there are times when I'm walking or shopping and I'm just in my own world, thinking about what I need to get or do next. Or I feel self-conscious and don't want interaction. It's not that I want to be rude to someone, I just don't want the attention. I would think it IS worse now than it used to be because we have so many more obligations these days. But I don't think that means people are ruder, necessarily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest momk2000 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I admit, I am also a very shy person, and have always had trouble making friends. I am capable of smiling and giving a friendly hello though. It just seems natural to me that when you pass by someone, to at least look up and smile. In my opinion, it would take more of a concious effort to look the other way. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 In my opinion, it would take more of a concious effort to look the other way. :confused: This is what would bother me most :( I agree with OH_Homeschooler that people are preoccupied too--I know I always am. Between that and the shyness, I'm oblivious to stuff going on around me. But the looking the other way--that's just plain rudeness. Even I can muster up a smile and quiet hello when someone greets me directly and I notice it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I feel the same way. Moms at Tball and other events snob you like you are still in high school. The other day a stranger got nasty with me because I smiled in her direction. I always smile, well for the most part. I felt horrible by the time she got done belittling me for sending a smile her way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running the race Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Well that stinks. :grouphug: That hasn't been my experience. Same here. If you were here, I'd love to say hi and chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I still think people really are preoccupied, probably more than you think. Not everyone of course, some people really are just jerks. But I know sometimes I am so tired and just stare into space...if someone is smiling at me I wouldn't even notice and they would think I was choosing not to respond back to them. And there are times when I'm walking or shopping and I'm just in my own world, thinking about what I need to get or do next. Or I feel self-conscious and don't want interaction. It's not that I want to be rude to someone, I just don't want the attention. I would think it IS worse now than it used to be because we have so many more obligations these days. But I don't think that means people are ruder, necessarily. :iagree: The other thing is that sometimes when some one hears a 'hello', they assume it's not directed at them. Or perhaps they are scared to get button-holed in a conversation when they don't have the time for it at the moment. Hosting stuff and inviting people to join you are better ways to interact, rather than trying to stop some one in passing since they might be preoccupied, mentally unavailable, busy, or in a hurry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Honestly, its the reason I don't go to base but once a week. I get along better with the Germans than I do Americans and they don't even understand me half the time. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emeraldjoy Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Oh gosh, this just makes my heart hurt for you. I am sorry. Ever since I was little I have always been on the lookout for those just on the outside and tried to make an effort to get to know them. Honestly? They (you) usually have been the most interesting folks to get to know!! I too know what you are talking about. I am just persistent though, and have gotten very good at judging the books by their covers: meaning assessing all the clues in the situation and deciding wether it would be worth my persistence or not. I have sort of figured out that most of those (the ones that are truly snobby, not just shy or preoccupied) are individuals that I probably don't want to invest a lot of emotion or energy into anyways. Usually when I really, really think about it I wouldn't know what to if they were nice even more than knowing what to do when they aren't. Does that make sense at all? Keep looking and don't give up and close your heart off just yet. I just know that eventually you will find someone or a group that will make it all worth it and you will know when the time is. e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I don't know which part of the country you are from, but I grew up in CT and people don't tend to be super friendly. I was wondering about this...regional differences. I'm in the PNW, and people here tend to be very friendly, at least superficially. I think it's just as hard to break into the "in" crowd in group situations, but here everyone seems to greet everyone else or chat with the person sitting next to them. Our exchange students, people moving from other parts of the country and my mother (who lives part-time on the East coast, part in the PNW) have all remarked that everyone seems to smile and nod or say hello, chat with strangers at the bus and so on. :grouphug: to the OP. I think most people are a little shy or preoccupied or awkward, even if they don't look it, and self-absorbed. So they don't necessarily notice people they don't already feel that they *know*, kwim? It's not you. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I admit, I am also a very shy person, and have always had trouble making friends. I am capable of smiling and giving a friendly hello though. It just seems natural to me that when you pass by someone, to at least look up and smile. In my opinion, it would take more of a concious effort to look the other way. :confused: I share that opinion. People around here seem completely taken aback when you smile and say hello... Which I assume is the proper thing to do when you encounter another person. And I'm a Yankee. We are not the warm fuzzy type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbsweetpea Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Sorry! I am one of those snobby women. Actually I am just painfully shy and prefer to be ignored and invisible. I figure if I look down and not say a word nobody will notice. IF someone says something to me I will respond but usually keep going. I can handle one on one conversations but not in a group. This is actually something I have been working on. I have started inviting several women at my church over once every couple weeks with their kids. It is helping me get over being so uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingnlearning Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I notice crabby people all the time too-I sometimes have to do business in our small local town and I hate it, I get the weird cold shoulder or a weird once over look and then the look away. When my kids were still in school it was awful. The town is famous for being very cliquey and that's exactly what it seems like. Over the winter I worked at a small medical office that was the same way and I ended up bursting into tears as soon as I got in my car to go home a few times, just thoughtless rudeness so many times. There were a lot of cute young women that worked there and it seemed like high school all over again. I live in Montana which is supposed to be so friendly... it used to be and I remember it... but it doesn't seem the same any more. I see it more in younger women and of course, the local small town clique. I try to avoid both! Sorry you've had enough of it-I certainly understand how it can just hurt sometimes. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 does anyone else notice this? Warning - Long vent! Why are people so unfriendly in our world today? First things first - it's them and not you. They don't have decent manners and are very possibly too negative to be around. I've struggled with this exact problem for the seven years I've lived in Minnesota. You know all those friendly and out going Minnesotans you hear about? Total fiction. In seven years I have made one friend - a home schooling Dad. His wife is civil to me, but that's about it. I'm dying to have some girlfriends here! MY daughter has fond the kids to be the same way - should could have been in the same class as them or Girl Scouts and they are all "Who are you and what are you doing near me!?!?. In reading this thread and finding it to be something of an International thing I wonder if the evenest of 9/11 have anything to d with it. Maybe it's the world-wide economic craziness? Maybe the unfriendly ones are Pod-People bent on destroying Earth? My advise is just keep truckin'. Be yourself and be friendly and outgoing and if they can't cope with it then remind yourself that G-d has a plan and you plan doesn't involve them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I'm sorry that has happened to you! I tend to notice that more in my neighborhood than with other homeschoolers. There's a set of sorority "girls" who've never left their college days in their minds and they only play tennis and socialize, have martini hour, etc. together. I guess you have to also be tri-Del pretty to be allowed to associate with them. There's a set who are teachers and I guess they're highly offended at the thought of homeschoolers, and they won't have anything to do with me, either. There are various cliques like that. I've never been much on cliques, and am really not interested in joining one, LOL, so that's okay with me. I'm going to talk to anyone who seems remotely interested in talking to me and I'm going to leave alone those who don't.... I also used to go to a church where there was a definite dichotomy. The mind set seemed to be that the wealthy gave money and the poor (working class) were expected to do all the work in the church. If you made the mistake of volunteering your time, therefore, you were assumed to be one of the latter class and were snubbed by the "wealthy set." Hmmm, and then there was the old boy church we tried to attend while we were in Baton Rouge. We were told in numerous subtle (not) ways that we were not wanted in the Sunday school class we were attending - it was a closed club. We were watched by ex-employers of mine who happened to go there (don't have a clue why - very secret squirrel stuff). I had left them on good terms, by the way. The only reason we even tried attending there was that I had grown up in that denomination and my backdoor neighbor was the daughter of one of the ministers and kept pressing me to try it. She was a very lovely person; the only kind person I met who attended that particular church.... There are all sorts of people in the world who carry all sorts of hang-ups around with them. I figure that it doesn't hurt me to give a slight smile, nod, or word in passing, and if people choose to ignore it, or miss it for some other reason, that's their loss. The world doesn't have enough loving kindness, so it doesn't hurt to try to spread some around if you have the time and inclination. You can't require that it be received in the spirit in which it is intended - but maybe over time your good attitude will make a difference for someone, somewhere, if you keep plugging away at it. And if you're feeling ornery, as I often am, then you can just think of it as killing them with kindness, LOL, and laugh at their consternation, glowering, or dismissiveness.... Then come here and talk to folks who are always glad to acknowledge you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I must admit that I have never had that happen to me, that I remember. Well at least not to that extreme. I hope you start meeting some more friendly people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Some people are preoccupied, some people are oblivious and some people are still locked in a mental middle school. There's nothing you can do about it except smile and say hello. The preoccupied and oblivious will occasionally notice and it will brighten both of your days. The mental middle schoolers will get their ego boost from snubbing you and you can enjoy the reality version of Glee with your own inner soundtrack and fantasy slushee bombs. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I still think people really are preoccupied, probably more than you think. I think so too. I think people are very stressed. I know there are times when I'll deliberately avoid even looking at someone on the street as I walk past because I'm concentrating so hard on keeping my over-stressed, sleep deprived self going long enough to get the errands done without sitting down on the footpath and crying. I think most people's lives are over-filled and they can't hack any more. Of course, when I'm not feeling that way, I have been known to make a game of trying to make other people smile. It took 4 months with one local cashier! It's a good game. Win-win :) This is actually something I have been working on. I have started inviting several women at my church over once every couple weeks with their kids. It is helping me get over being so uncomfortable. Good work, Hon :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I live in my head a lot. Heaven only knows how many ppl have thought I ignored them when I actually wasn't paying any attention to my surroundings. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) does anyone else notice this? Warning - Long vent! Why are people so unfriendly in our world today? I'm especially referring to other moms that are associated with the same groups, etc...my children are in. I'm not asking anyone to be my best friend, but sometimes I think it would be like torture for some of these women to just say hello, or even crack a smile as they pass by. I try to say hello to everyone, but when they don't even look up at you, it's kind of hard to do. Some go so far as to look the other way. I try to at least give a friendly smile, and if I have the opportunity will say hello just to be friendly. This is something that has bothered me for a long time, but it has really been getting to me lately. Today we came home from an activity and I was halfway in tears. As we were leaving, I passed by one of the moms in the group, gave her a friendly smile and said hello. This is someone that I am not "friends" with, but she knows me from our involvement in the group. She just kept walking, didn't even look at me, and had a very serious look on her face. I used to think, well maybe the person is preoccupied and didn't see me, etc.., but it just happens way too much. I'm really fed up with how rude people are today. I even get this in church of all places. It is really hurtful, especially when you greet someone and don't get an answer back. We recently started going to a new church, and I really like it a lot. The only thing that turns my stomach, is how snobby the women are there. It's a shame, because I am not as involved in church activities for that one reason. I just feel like I want to cry my eyes out right now. :confused: :grouphug::grouphug: I don't know that I've experienced that. It sounds just awful. You need a good dose of Southern friendliness and a "hey ya'll. " Everybody smiles at everybody. At least in smaller towns. I won't speak for the big cities. :grouphug: ETA: I hope you aren't already IN the South. I'm obviously stereotyping here but it is based on personal experience. I'm sure others could have different experiences. Edited June 20, 2011 by silliness7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 In reading this thread and finding it to be something of an International thing I wonder if the evenest of 9/11 have anything to d with it. I spent a lot of years in retail before and after 9/11 and I think there is something to this. I definitelly noticed people being less friendly afterwards. :grouphug::grouphug: I don't know that I've experienced that. It sounds just awful. You need a good dose of Southern friendliness and a "hey ya'll. " Everybody smiles at everybody. At least in smaller towns. I won't speak for the big cities. :grouphug: ETA: I hope you aren't already IN the South. I'm obviously stereotyping here but it is based on personal experience. I'm sure others could have different experiences. Yeah, not here. I'm in a small town in TN and if you're not in, you're dirt apparently. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Yeah, not here. I'm in a small town in TN and if you're not in, you're dirt apparently. :glare: Ha...are you from my hometown? Because that's true there (Portland, TN) Sad really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Do a mental inventory and think of the people that DO respond!! I've been feeling annoyed at some things like you are saying in different situations, feeling sometimes that I just don't have any friends. I then started remembering all of the people that are kind and are interested. I realized that they actually outweigh the aloof people...I had just been so focussed on the aloof people that I didn't recognize the friendly ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I was wondering about this...regional differences. I'm in the PNW, and people here tend to be very friendly, at least superficially. I think it's just as hard to break into the "in" crowd in group situations, but here everyone seems to greet everyone else or chat with the person sitting next to them. Our exchange students, people moving from other parts of the country and my mother (who lives part-time on the East coast, part in the PNW) have all remarked that everyone seems to smile and nod or say hello, chat with strangers at the bus and so on. :grouphug: to the OP. I think most people are a little shy or preoccupied or awkward, even if they don't look it, and self-absorbed. So they don't necessarily notice people they don't already feel that they *know*, kwim? It's not you. Cat :iagree: I also just don't regularly see that kind of behavior here (PNW). I'd be pretty surprised if someone treated me that way, and I can't even imagine it being a regular occurrence. :grouphug: It sounds awful, and I can certainly understand why you'd be close to tears sometimes! I've got to say I'm shocked at how many of you who experience this regularly live in the South. I always think of the South as being a polite and friendly place. What you all are saying is not what I've imagined! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest momk2000 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I don't know that I've experienced that. It sounds just awful. You need a good dose of Southern friendliness and a "hey ya'll. " Everybody smiles at everybody. At least in smaller towns. I won't speak for the big cities. :grouphug: ETA: I hope you aren't already IN the South. I'm obviously stereotyping here but it is based on personal experience. I'm sure others could have different experiences. I was born and raised a Yankee, but now live in the south. I realize you will find it everywhere to some extent, but I don't remember it being like this where I came from up north. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Sometimes I think that some people have so much of an online (or texting!) social life that they've forgotten how to interact in real life. I think we're gradually losing that skill set (and our ability to spell!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Yes, that has been my experience as well, in FL as well as NH. It makes me sad too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyBre Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I've experienced this with the group of women I work with at dc's school. They're all parents of kids at the school (elementary age), and they're almost all cold as ice. While I don't think I take their antisocial behavior as personally as it sounds like you do :hug: I have noticed that the ones who are quite friendly and warm are mothers of older children (high school age). So here's my theory which may sound like a stretch but...whatever. I think these mothers whose oldest children are still of elementary school age are still in the mindset of living somewhat vicariously through their children. Or vice versa, they think their kids will live vicariously through them (i.e. if they're in the popular group, their kids will be too), so they try to play the role of the snobby popular girl. It's really very junior high, immature, and antisocial. I guess it's easier not to care when you look at it that way. I have some amazing people that I call my friends (most of them just don't happen to work with me), and I bet you can say the same thing. Focus your efforts on them and leave the ice queens to themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I've had the same experience in some groups then the kids have been in others with wonderfully friendly parents. The worst I came across was an orchestra dd was in last year where no parents talked to each other, even some of the kids didn't talk to anyone else, and it seemed very competitive among the parents...staring their kids down and giving evil looks to them if they made an error. If I said "Hi" or smiled to any of them they ignored you. This year it was a slightly different group of kids and the parents all talked together. Much nicer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.