Do you and your husband save for retirement?

[I.Dup.]

Feel free to share whatever you are comfortable with, how you go about doing this, and how you feel about retirement.

 

I am very nervous about retirement b/c I watch my parents and dh's parents majorly struggle into their late age, always worried about money, still needing to work, never able to visit or do anything because of "money." Always "money," ugh.

 

But on the other hand, I do not know how we will go about making a good retirement, I wish we had planned better or something. It's not that dh and I want to sit around and do nothing, but we sure would like to be able to visit our children and grandchildren when we want to!!!!

 

Just curious how others are planning (or not) for retirement.

[momofkhm]

We're saving through dh's 401 K at work. He just changed jobs this spring so I don't know how much he's putting in, but it had been 10%. We recently talked with our financial planner about how much we have, how much we think we'll need and will we get there. DH and he are now conducting that conversation via email and I'm not being included.

 

We've already started discussions with our kids to start saving for retirement as soon as they can.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Yes. DHs work doesn't offer a 403B or 401K program (though they offer a pension program) so we met with a financial planner and set up an IRA. We've been kicking around the idea of going and having another one set up in my name.

[BabyBre]

Of course! Our parents are in the same situation. They spent too much and saved too little and now are still having to work well into their 60s, and money is always an "issue" for them.

 

Dh is so adamant about not being in that situation that he funds retirement to the maximum allowed above all other things (after the bills are paid, of course). We would live as paupers before he would not fund it to the max.

 

He gets heat from some for funding our retirement and not the kids' college funds, but his philosophy makes perfect sense. If we save for us now, we'll be secure in the future and be able to help the kids out if we decide they've earned it. Whereas if we put it away for the kids now, we may end up like our parents and the kids may or may not even go to college. Besides, the kids can take out a loan for college if necessary, but we won't get one for retirement.

 

We'd be in a heap of trouble if I were in charge of the finances! I thank God for my dh's good financial sense!

 

Edit: We've also started impressing upon the kids the importance of saving for retirement now. They each put 1/3 of their allowance (equal to their age) into a UTMA that will be used to start an IRA when they turn 18. Anything beyond 1/3 of the allowance that they decide to put into that account is matched by dh and me. The rest of their allowance (a la Clark Howard) is: 1/3 saved in a high-interest savings account to be used in getting on their own feet in high school and beyond; and 1/3 in their pocket for discretionary spending or saving as they see fit. This is working out great for us.

Edited May 9, 2011 by BabyBre

[I.Dup.]

He gets heat from some for funding our retirement and not the kids' college funds, but his philosophy makes perfect sense. If we save for us now, we'll be secure in the future and be able to help the kids out if we decide they've earned it. Whereas if we put it away for the kids now, we may end up like our parents and the kids may or may not even go to college. Besides, the kids can take out a loan for college if necessary, but we won't get one for retirement.

 

 

 

I agree with your dh!!! Totally! Unfortunately neither my dh or I are good financial planners, although I am as frugal as possible. I just get so overwhelmed and stressed thinking about money. We do have good life insurance set up for both of us, I was very proud of at least doing that! Now on to retirement...

[mommaduck]

I will probably work once the kids are grown. We'll try to work into old age. And hopefully one/some of my children will take care of me. That's how I was raised, my folks were raised, my grandfolks were raised...you get the picture. I'm not counting on social security, but I also don't have money to set aside other than what happens through DH's job (and that's minimal).

[flobee76]

We are saving thru DH's 401K and I have a little in mine when I worked prior to kids. We are also saving thru an IRA and all 3 kids have savings accts that we put $ into each month. Things are tight here, but we feel best if our $ is being saved for the future.

 

My parents were always good with their money. Both are now retired have no debt at all. Their house is paid off, cars paid with cash, and have $$ in the bank, with retirement coming each month. My parents always were SUPER FRUGAL with their money, but were still able to give us what we needed as we were growing up. :)

[I.Dup.]

Most of the 'can't visit b/c of money' that we hear is due to budget..they don't want to budget that in.

 

Yep, I agree. Big source of frustration. Dh's parents complain about money all day long, how they can't come and visit, and in the next breath they tell us all about their new remodels and the $800 they just spent on a new faucet from France. :confused:

 

My parents would rather be alone and eat out and see movies each weekend than come and visit, anyway.

 

So maybe it's not that they don't have the money. I just want to make sure we DO have the money to do what we want to do.

[Carrie12345]

Dh's company stopped matching for 401k, and we haven't set a plan for making that amount up yet.

 

I expect to go to work eventually to stash a little more money toward the end of pre-retirement, but that's definitely not as productive as starting earlier, even if it's smaller amounts at the time.

 

We are doing our best to set goals to sustain us WITHOUT social security, since even our SS statements tell us we won't be collecting full amounts by 2030 (or so... I forget the exact year they stated.)

 

You can Google for calculators that will tell you how much you need to have based on how much you want to spend each year, and then how much you should be saving to get there. Our numbers are a bit scary, lol, so we're trying to prepare ourselves to make concessions!

(I'd link, but my bookmarks are on my dead computer.)

[LizzyBee]

I contribute to my 401k, but not nearly as much as I should. I am reading The Automatic Millionaire, and I'm frustrated with myself because it's stuff I knew when I was in my 20's and didn't do. The younger you start, the less you have to save to accumulate a nice nest egg. Now here I am in my 40s and dh in his 50s, and we are nowhere close to being able to fund a decent retirement. Anyway, I am newly inspired from reading the book, and I am going to increase my savings starting next month! (It's too late to change it for this month because payday is tomorrow.)

[cindergretta]

Trying to survive paycheck to paycheck is stretching us pretty thin. We do each have a ROTH IRA that we contribute to but we are going to have to wait a little to really fully invest in retirement, kwim?

 

I have always heard "Your dc can get financial aid for college but there is no financial aid for retirement." It's true. And there are ways to minimize college expenses - going to a community college first, living at home, scholarships, working, etc.

 

Retirement, OTOH, your options are to work until you die OR live with your dc (great option :glare: ) OR have a retirement fund. We are hoping for the latter as the children age.

 

I am friends with one guy who was an only child. His parents saved his whole life (both worked) for his college and he came out of college debt free with a car, etc. Now he funds their retirement, so to speak. He puts money monthly into their retirement. I think it is a cool system they set up. However, he has no children and had a vasectomy before marriage to prevent ever having children. I can see that working for the childless adult of an only child family. I'm not sure how it would play out here. :lol:

[lmrich]

Luckily we started when I was 22, and I was working (as a teacher - not much $$)while he went to school. We figured it was easier to do without before we even knew better. Best thing we did. We don't even think about it. We just save and have learned to do without that part of our paycheck.

[MaMa2005]

I'll speak from the older perspective. I'm already retired and draw from a pension. DH retires in three years and will also have a pension. We both have ROTH IRAs and well as 403Bs. Long, long ago we made a commitment to put away 30% of our income regardless of the economy, jobs, etc. While DH works two jobs (teacher/university professor) in order for us to make ends meet and it is often a struggle to meet that 30% commitment, we can look at our portfolios and know we will be fine in retirement. DH will continue to work as a university professor once he retires from the public HS. Otherwise, he would be :willy_nilly:.

 

As is often said, take the money out of your paycheck before you ever see it. That way you never get used to having it. Also, try to stay out of debt. Our mortgage pays off the year DH retires and we have no car payments.

 

Good luck!

[blakereese]

We contribute to DH's 401K, we've been doing that all along. I agree with the PP who said to have that money taken out before you see it. Just look at it as a bill that is non-negotiable.

 

It's scary to think how much we will need to retire, and who knows what will happen to social security by then. :glare:

[Ginevra]

Yes. Dh and I both have SEP plans with his company and also Roth IRAs set up years ago.

[twoxcell]

We have honestly thought very little about retirement, but my dh does have a 401K through his work.

[Donna]

My husband has a pension and we set aside money in a 401K every month for me.

[Firestar Academy]

We save for retirement. at first, when we were young, my husband put into his 401(k). even just 1%. then, when he got a raise, we raised the % into the 401(k) by half. so for example, he got a 4% raise, he upped the 401(k) by 2%. it was $$ we didn't 'see' so 2% right into the 401(k) and 2% for 'us'. we did that for years until the 401(k) was maxed out at 10% or 15%. I can't remember. but I do remember it took forever and my husband balked but afterwards he said it wasn't that painful.

 

we also have more taken out for taxes. We understand that we are 'giving' the government our $$ interest free. We would spend it if we had it. The government then gives it to us in april. a big chunk of change. for years, that went to pay for the kids montessori school. then last year, I needed a new car. it went into that. hopefully, this year, it can go right into savings for retirement. (or a new roof. that is looming on the horizon).

 

I work part-time in the spring and fall as a canoe instructor for Girl Scouts. That is on saturdays and a few weeks for summer camp. That is my curriculum $$.

 

Robin in NJ

[I.Dup.]

Thank you all for sharing!! It's really interesting to me to hear how people make this work.

[Lizzie in Ma]

We have lived paycheck to paycheck for many years. We will be debt free, save the mortgage in exactly 24 months.

It is what it is. I don't know anyone who has officially retired that isn't still working at least a part time job.

[FairProspects]

Are you kidding? We will spend 10% of our income on student loans, and another 20% on healthcare costs this year. That is before food or housing. There is nothing left for retirement. I can't even begin to think about it.

[Renthead Mommy]

Of course! We pretty much always have.

 

He'll hit his 20 years when he is 53 and our son is 21, so basically done with college. But most likely he'll continue working to closer to his 30 years. Like SS, while AF retirement pay will be nice, I don't think we're completely counting on those. We're counting on us. Currently we both have various accounts set up. He pays into those and others every month, occasionally dumping large sums in when we get a bonus or something.

 

Supposedly, and I'm still a little unsure at the idea, but supposedly we should have enough money in the college account in the next year or so. The idea that we've already saved/invested enough for college when the kid is only 9-10 seems off, but it's very possible I guess. I haven't looked at those numbers in awhile. But if that happens, the $500 that goes into the college fund a month would be retirement funding also I guess.

[I.Dup.]

Are you kidding? We will spend 10% of our income on student loans, and another 20% on healthcare costs this year. That is before food or housing. There is nothing left for retirement. I can't even begin to think about it.

 

I hear you. I think a lot of people are in this position. It seems you can't win either way.

[Chris in VA]

Dh gets a fantastic pension when he retires as a priest. But, if he decides to leave the denomination, he'll be defrocked and lose everything.

We do, however, have faith that God would provide in that instance.

We will have our house paid off in 12 years, and will not have any other debt (except maybe we will help ds pay off some of the 60K in loans he's got--really, we've got). I can see dh retiring when he's 70.

[Shellydon]

YES! Of course -- I didn't really know there was an option not too :confused:

 

We put the maximum into DH 401K and I have my own retirement account that we put the maximum into each year.

[Upward Journey]

Well we *used* to, but DH has been unemployed for the past 2 months and it's looking more and more like we're going to have to use that savings to live on now :(

[nono]

Yes we do. A little off the top each pay period. Some years, when our expenses are down, then there's more off the top! :)

 

It is simply harder to work as one gets older. I watched my father decline and struggle to work -- it took him longer and longer days to do the same work. If he had been more comfortable with his overall savings, he probably would have cut back the number of working hours and continued to keep his "fun" clients to keep his mind going. Unfortunately, that wasn't a choice based upon his accumulated savings. :001_unsure:

Edited May 9, 2011 by nono

[LidiyaDawn]

It's not something that we've ever really thought about… it was only in the while that we've been able to start ANY kind of "savings" and right now, the goal is a house of our own. :D It's gonna take us a few years to get there, but it'll be so awesome when we finally do - a house of our very own, paid in full.

[Julie Smith]

We are well set up for retirement.

 

My parents are also well set up for retirement. They are both going to be 60 this year. My Mom still works part time, usually about 1 to 2 days a week. She likes to work enough to pay for groceries, stuff for the house, presents... My Dad still works about 4 days a week. He loves what he does and will likely never retire.

 

My parents have saved well for things and as things are setup I will inherit alot from them when they pass.

 

My MIL has already passed away. My FIL is living on a smaller income then he would like. But what annoys me is we have to pay 300 to 400 dollars a month for him. Meanwhile he has a bunch of money in the bank and he talks about how he is keeping it safe for us and we will get it when he dies.

 

He doesn't know we are paying for him. His roommate is a friend of the family my age (She is sort of like a daughter to him). Her husband and there child live with him. They take care of all the chores, cooking all the meals... So we secretly pay her money. :)

[2squared]

Retirement is my hot button. I would run back into the workforce if we weren't able to save sufficiently for retirement. We did take a 2 year break from contributing when dh got out of the Air Force, but other than that break, 15%+ is my rule. I started right out of college, and required that for level of contributions as a couple - even during the lean law school years. Dh was less financially savy back then.

 

Dh is also in the Air Force reserves, so we are hoping and planning on that pension. We also plan to have our house paid off by the time dh is 55, so we should be completely debt free before we are empty nesters and before we retire. Well....that assumes we stop having kids at some point.

 

We aren't saving for dc college expenses. I am hoping we will be able to cash flow some help, but retirement funding and living debt free is much more important for us.

[milovany]

YES! Of course -- I didn't really know there was an option not too :confused:

 

 

You can't imagine a scenario where there's no extra money at the end of the month (after paying for food, utilities, rent/mortgage, homeschool supplies, etc.)? Or one in which the husband and wife had to choose between family memories/experiences and putting money in a retirement fund -- and they chose the former?

[Shellydon]

You can't imagine a scenario where there's no extra money at the end of the month (after paying for food, utilities, rent/mortgage, homeschool supplies, etc.)? Or one in which the husband and wife had to choose between family memories/experiences and putting money in a retirement fund -- and they chose the former?

 

No I can't. Savings are the first expenditure, period. Then housing, then food (living on beans if needed), then utilities. You can homeschool for nearly free if needed. I would never choose 'family memories' like vacations over saving. Family memories can be made in the backyard for free!

[Julie Smith]

Oh no, I see trouble coming. (duck and cover)

Exit stage right.

 

:auto:

[Joker]

We don't yet. Our decision for me to stay home caused some debt and we should be done paying that off by the end of this year. My dh grew up in a home where retirement came before most things and he said he won't do it to our dds. He has a bit of resentment. He loves his parents but said he doesn't want to do things the same way. We should be able to start actively saving next year and then I'll finish school in another two and be able to work. The money I make can pretty much all go into our retirement.

[Jenny in GA]

Yes, we have always saved, but it doesn't matter how much we save -- at least one of us will still have to work FT until at least age 65 so we can have health insurance.

[jenangelcat]

Are we squirreling money away so we don't have to work once we hit retirement age? No.

 

We have moved to a rural property with plans to make it as self sufficient as possible which will in turn lower our bills. We are setting up a farm business and hopefully that will keep us busy indefinitely. Once our bill as decreased and we have a good money flow sure I'll save some money up in case of disability but we'll still be running the business (hopefully).

[LidiyaDawn]

No I can't. Savings are the first expenditure, period. Then housing, then food (living on beans if needed), then utilities.

 

You'd feed your savings account BEFORE you'd pay for shelter and food?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

We save through dh's 401k, but I don't think it is anywhere near enough. We support his mother and financially help 2 other family members, so it is impossible to save more. But if some of our family members can get back on their feet, we will hopefully start saving more.

 

We have small college savings plans for the kids, too, but I don't think that will help much when the time comes, either.

 

We'll see what happens.

[Jennifer in MI]

Dh gets a fantastic pension when he retires as a priest. But, if he decides to leave the denomination, he'll be defrocked and lose everything.

We do, however, have faith that God would provide in that instance.

We will have our house paid off in 12 years, and will not have any other debt (except maybe we will help ds pay off some of the 60K in loans he's got--really, we've got). I can see dh retiring when he's 70.

 

Chris - Wouldn't he get credit for time worked? He may not be able to collect until 72 (or whatever age), but I think, as long as he's fully vested (5 years - right?), he'd get something as retirement.

 

And, I agree! The church pension fund is AMAZING!!!!! Basically, if my dh works until a certain age (I forget - Chris - what is it?), he'll receive 80% of the average of his five highest paid years. So, we only have to make up the 20%.

 

But, we still save as if that weren't true. We put aside about 15% into a 503b (self-employed retirement account). We started doing that when we got married - 16.5 years ago. So, it's got a good amount of money in it. And, our house will be paid off well before then. So, I think we're good!

[Shellydon]

You'd feed your savings account BEFORE you'd pay for shelter and food?

 

 

Yes. Maybe a small amount, but yes. Our first year of marriage, we brought home a whopping $11,000 and still put a small amount towards savings.

 

Here is an article called - "Too Broke to Save? Never."

[Night Elf]

DH has a 401K and it's definitely a major priority. Our contribution is taken out of his paycheck before taxes and his company contributes as well. We are not saving for our kids to go to college. We believe that is their responsibility if they choose that path after high school. We are responsible for ourselves when DH retires.

 

My mom and stepdad did not care about future finances. They figured things would just be okay. So now my stepdad, who is 72 years old, is working full-time and has a part-time job as well. My mom stays home and draws disability. They live paycheck to paycheck and continue to make mistakes with their finances. I don't even want to know how much credit card debt they have. My mom asks for financial advice from my DH but she has never acted on his advice. She always decides that something right NOW is better than something later. She feels she makes good decisions because she does ask DH for advice before she goes on to do whatever she wants anyway.

 

My DH's mom is in a better situation. She did think about her future and saved for years. She now lives on social security and savings and lives pretty comfortably.

[FairProspects]

Yes. Maybe a small amount, but yes. Our first year of marriage, we brought home a whopping $11,000 and still put a small amount towards savings.

 

Here is an article called - "Too Broke to Save? Never."

 

Well, to me that is different. We save, we just don't save for retirement yet. This year all the money marked "savings" has gone into saving for medical procedures, emergency savings, into our business (which should also increase our income shortly), or the sinking fund saving for things that break. We plan to save for retirement eventually after the student loans and medical debt is done as per Dave Ramsey Step #3. We just haven't gotten there yet, so we don't think about it yet.

[melissel]

DH contributes a small amount to his 401K. I have a 401K somewhere that I need to look into, but since I'm not working full-time (freelancing instead), I'm not contributing. Our income has crashed this year and is not looking so hot for next year, so right now we're just trying to keep me home! It's on our minds though, for sure. We do have life insurance, but for DH it's a priority to start saving for retirement as soon as possible.

[mommaduck]

No I can't. Savings are the first expenditure, period. Then housing, then food (living on beans if needed), then utilities. You can homeschool for nearly free if needed. I would never choose 'family memories' like vacations over saving. Family memories can be made in the backyard for free!

 

I don't believe that's the kind of "family memories" she was referring. I believe she was referring to having mom home and and dad not being gone all the time (aka, parents not being ladder climbers to the point of trying to "have it all" or "keep up with the Joneses").

 

btw, there are families that do homeschool for "free" (or next to free), eating minimal and no variety, just paying their bills...and there is no money for saving. I've been there at one time and I know many other people that are there. Honestly, we make life insurance a bigger priority than savings, simply because it would help the one left if something happened to either of us.

 

To be truthful, I trust a lot of these retirement "plans" about as much as I trust the stability of social security.

[melissel]

No I can't. Savings are the first expenditure, period. Then housing, then food (living on beans if needed), then utilities. You can homeschool for nearly free if needed. I would never choose 'family memories' like vacations over saving. Family memories can be made in the backyard for free!

 

I guess our priorities are different then. Our vacation memories and the time with our extended families are precious to us and worth the money. My kids only get one childhood each, and DH and I have the next 30 years to save for retirement. When I've gone to buying lesser quality food to save money, DD5's behavioral problems flare and my GI problems flare. Neither DH nor I can't eat legumes anymore--we've tried, and everyone suffers :( It's a bummer, because I miss lentils and hummus terribly. But I won't suffer physically or make my family suffer because I want to save a few dollars.

[Shellydon]

I guess our priorities are different then. Our vacation memories and the time with our extended families are precious to us and worth the money. My kids only get one childhood each, and DH and I have the next 30 years to save for retirement. When I've gone to buying lesser quality food to save money, DD5's behavioral problems flare and my GI problems flare. Neither DH nor I can't eat legumes anymore--we've tried, and everyone suffers :( It's a bummer, because I miss lentils and hummus terribly. But I won't suffer physically or make my family suffer because I want to save a few dollars.

 

 

Definitely different priorities. Debt free and saving is priority one for us. We still get plenty of family memories, but most are made in our own home. We do get to travel, but we pick our vacations carefully. Right now we are planning a 3 week drive across the US in a couple of years...

We are not at a place where we have to scrimp on food, but I would and have when necessary.

[Carrie12345]

We don't yet. Our decision for me to stay home caused some debt and we should be done paying that off by the end of this year. My dh grew up in a home where retirement came before most things and he said he won't do it to our dds. He has a bit of resentment. He loves his parents but said he doesn't want to do things the same way. We should be able to start actively saving next year and then I'll finish school in another two and be able to work. The money I make can pretty much all go into our retirement.

 

I'm the opposite. I look at my aging in-laws who haven't saved, and realize how much of OUR money is going to go toward supporting them, which will take away from MY family. I don't want to put that on my kids and my future grandchildren.

[Mejane]

Yes, and we always have; even when we were dirt poor, dh insisted on it. It used to make me mad, but now I'm glad!

[Shellydon]

I'm the opposite. I look at my aging in-laws who haven't saved, and realize how much of OUR money is going to go toward supporting them, which will take away from MY family. I don't want to put that on my kids and my future grandchildren.

 

 

Yes! My parents are having to worked past retirement age just to survive. They could have easily made different choices and been in much better shape financially.

[melissel]

Definitely different priorities. Debt free and saving is priority one for us. We still get plenty of family memories, but most are made in our own home. We do get to travel, but we pick our vacations carefully. Right now we are planning a 3 week drive across the US in a couple of years...

We are not at a place where we have to scrimp on food, but I would and have when necessary.

 

So you're saying that you'd buy food that would hurt your family physically in order to meet your goal of being debt-free and saving? :confused: Is someone else paying for your three-week vacation? Because it sounds like you would want to put that money in the bank instead. At what point is it OK to put your savings goal below some other goal/desire?