Poll: At what age are/were you comfortable dropping your kid off for an activity?

[Old Dominion Heather]

I'm talking about extracurricular classes or sports such as piano, soccer, art, swimming, etc...

 

I can't answer this one, since I am NOT comfortable with it yet.

 

Edited to add: I am NOT talking about pre-school, Kindergarten, or church nursery.

[Gamom3]

oldest ds was around 13

 

I don't trust a lot of people when it comes to my kids.

[Jennifer in MI]

I voted other because it depends. With my first, I could never imagine leaving him at an activity. But, now that my third is 7, he is left at everything!!!! I almost feel guilty because I never left the older two at activities!

 

dh helps with baseball, so 7 yo ds isn't left there. And, his indoor soccer is far enough away that it isn't worth leaving him there. But, we leave him at karate three times/week!!

[hsmom]

I said 9 -10. Now my children's soccer and baseball practices I can see from my front yard. (What a perfect place to live for this.) Also I live in a town where everyone knows everyone.

[runningirl71]

That is how old my youngest was when I would drop her off for piano. She did go with her older brother, though, and we were friends with the teacher. :)

[KAR120C]

He has always tended to repeat much-loved activities rather than dabble in a lot of different ones, so while for the first couple meetings of a new activity he usually wants me to stay, it's not long before he's very comfortable there. For instance by 7 he had been with the same dance teacher for two years, and couldn't have cared less if I hung around to watch the class or not. He had been in the same library storytime and then bookgroup since he was two, and he had been in the more or less the same swimming class since he was three. I could easily have left him at the door and known that he was fine, knew his way around, knew the staff people by name, etc.

 

There are times that he's happier for me to stay, and I do, and places that I wouldn't drop him off no matter what he thought, but as of about the time he turned 7 it has mostly been up to him.

[Jenny in Atl]

Well, my oldest went to pre-school/K so she was dropped off starting at 4 1/2. She has done drop off activities (no many) since. My other dd has yet to be just dropped off due to her type-1 diabetes (not many would take her anyway). Not until she is very comfortable taking care of her needs and has a cell phone would I leave the parking lot. I let her take classes but I either sit in the hallway, or in the car near by.

[mcconnellboys]

For me, it's really not so much about the age as about feeling comfortable with those I'm leaving my child with. So, if we've done a lot of things before and know the people running the show, if other moms who know us are going to be around, etc., then I'm probably fine with leaving. If it's completely new and we don't know the people running the show, then I'm probably not okay with leaving.

[Joanne]

I answered other. Since my kids were born, I've used:

 

Babysitters

Church nuseries

Gym child watch areas

Relatives

Friends

Coaches/Other parents

 

Relatedly, I've had people leave their kids with me 10 hours a day after a brief interview and never checking references.

 

In comparison to others, I did very little other care. Compared to many here, I was quite trusting.

[chiguirre]

Well, I'm off the chart on the lower end! I dropped dd off at a Montessori school when she was 2.5 yo and ds started therapy at 2.5 yo too. The key is that these were situations where the school expected you to drop off a 2 yo and had the staff and facilities for it. I would still not leave a kid alone at a sports event where the parents are supposed to sit on the sidelines. I do take the kids to classes where parents are free to leave and run errands. I guess it depends on the level of responsibility that the teacher or coach assumes for your child and that's usually spelled out clearly when you sign up.

[clane]

I have dropped my 4 and 9 year olds off at co-op, but they are with very close family friends there. As far as a class with strangers or acquaintances, not yet.

[JFSinIL]

I drop off my youngest dd, 12 today (Happy B'day Jackie!) at martial arts but that is only because 1. I sat through months of classes and trust the folks there, 2. I can drop her off at the door and see her go in, and 3. she has a green belt now and could (supposedly) take down an "evil villain".

[Parrothead]

I voted "other." It depended on the activity. Dd started dance when she was 3. As far as she was concerned she was dropped off for an hour. I could have, and did occasionally, run to the grocery instead of waiting for her. She was comfortable and I trusted the instructor instinctively.

 

When dd started Sunday school (5-years old) she didn't want me to leave her. It took most of the school year for me to be able to wait in the car for her. I'd have to take a chair and sit in a corner with a book then progress to sitting in the hall with the book then finally to the car with the book. I wasn't "allowed" to leave at all.

 

This year she trotted off to a new ps sponsored activity two days a week with no problem, but I wasn't able to leave her at the new gymnastics class.

 

So to answer the qustion it depends on what dd is comfortable with. Now birthday parties are another story entirely. I won't leave dd at one of those. Usually it end up being the birthday child's mom with what seems to be 20 kids running around. I'm not comfortable with that ratio so I usually ask if I can stay.

[pmegan]

My daughter's done gym daycare since she was 4 months old :tongue_smilie:

 

Drop-off at classes I believe starts at about 4 around here, and I'm fine with that.

[Mosaicmind]

We are doing soccer right now and I do not allow my younger boys ages 6,8,10 to be at the fields by themselves. If I can't be there then one of the older kids is there with them.

 

Awana is the only place I will drop them off without me being there.

[RoughCollie]

I drop my kids off at karate, but that is because they are not little kids any more (:sad:) and we have known the karate instructor for 9 years and I trust him.

 

I usually stick around for baseball practice, and all of their other activities are at school.

[UnPrairieMuffin]

that she started when she was 5, but it was only an hour and I implicitly trusted the teacher. I left her at speech therapy as well from the time she was 3, but it was for a very short time. Again, these were all private lessons by individuals I chose to be close to my daughter, and we really needed the ST when we started.

 

I wouldn't just leave her with a large group of people I didn't know though, I was always very close by (downstairs at the ST's home, in the same vicinity as her art lessons). We aren't exactly letting her cruise the mall, and I don't think I'd ever let her. It's just not something I want to encourage!

[nukeswife]

I posted other because I started dropping my kids off for My Gym classes or parties when my ds was 8 and my dd was 5. I still drop them off for things at the Y without a problem. I never thought I'd be that way but once we started My Gym I knew I could trust their coaches with their lives. They loved those kids and wouldn't let anything bad happen to them. My dd actually took a header off the bars at one party and the coach called me immediately to let me know that she fell, but was ok and after a short break was back at it. When I arrived to pick them up he made sure to explain exactly what happened and then called the next day to see how she was doing.

[hsmamainva]

For my oldest, she started music lessons at 7 and I dropped her off without hesitation (her teacher went to our church and she was a lovely woman and I trusted her completely).

 

My second plays baseball and my husband is the assistant coach, so he doesn't attend practices or games without his dad, so it's not really an issue for him.

 

My third is in Tae Kwon Do. He's 8, but he attends with his oldest sister, so she's always with him -- but I trust the instructors, and wouldn't hesitate to send him alone without her.

 

My fourth just started gymnastics lessons, but I wouldn't drop her off alone. She's only 6 and the gym is very crowded on Saturday mornings. (It's not really the coaches I would worry about, as much as it is the older kids and the parents)

[gardenschooler]

I answered 11-12 in the poll, because I thought the question was asking in reference to dropping them off somewhere where they aren't necessarily contained by one teacher. So, for example, gymnastics, where the coach isn't supposed to hang on to your child until you come, then I'd say at least 11 or 12 - old enough for me not to worry if they'll be okay on their own for a few minutes.

 

For classes such as zoo classes, church choir, or pretty much anything in a class where you pick the child up directly from the teacher, and they're not just dismissed to a large lobby-type area, then I'll drop off much younger. It really depends on where we are, how familiar they are with their surroundings, and how secure they are in that situation. I have stuck around in the building for most things until around age 7-8 or so, just in case they get sick or something.

 

It's also changed with the kids - I'd drop off dd#1 a whole lot younger than I would dd#3.

[Snickerdoodle]

My son is 6 and I drop him off for taekwondo.

[Unicorn.]

it just depends on the activity, the child, the location. All of my dc went to a church preschool. Ds at 3, dd's at 4. Soccer and baseball, never dropped off, too open, to many variables. DD's (9) get dropped off at piano, but the lessons are less than a mile from our house, and I trust the instructor. Basketball- dropped off ds (11), but not dd's, even though it is at our church. Again, too crowded and open for my comfort. When my dc took dance, I stayed outside in the car. Birthday parties depend on where they are, and how well I know the parents.

 

I just don't think there is a magic age for stuff like this. Everything is situational.

[dangermom]

It depends. I drop my 7-yo off for Musikgarten, but stay for her dance class. The 5yo only gets dropped off at friends' homes. My oldest has food allergies so I'm very paranoid about parties or anything with food.

[fivetails]

I voted 'other' because it depends on the situation...for my dd11,most of the time now I have no problem dropping her off for an organised, supervised class/activity....though I'm staying for her swimming lessons that she's just begun because she's a brand new swimmer and the instructor, while seeming like a pleasant young man, *is* only 14 years old - I'd rather stick around and be an extra set of eyes on my daughter in case she flounders. She's not a strong swimmer and she's in with a group that does a lot of deep water stuff because the lower level groups are full of 6 year olds and she does *not* want to be in that class. ;)

 

For dd9, I would be staying - he has multiple disabilities and requires 1-1 assistance with any activities. :)

[TravelingChris]

I said 5 or 5 but I was thinking of activities like dance classes or nature classes. Actually a few weeks old would be the correct answer but the child would be in a baby room and I would be close by in church. Then for other types of care, normally a over one, but I remember that my oldest had surgery when my youngest was 6 weeks old and we needed babysitting for a while.

 

Are a lot of you reading it like I did or do most never use babysitting, drop off care, or anything similar until all children are 5 or above? I am all for homeschooling and keeping families together. We take our kids to many places others don't-art museums, very nice restaurants, classical concerts. We did that since they were little. We do like to go out at times as a couple and we also need to go to certain functions or I would need to get out when my husband would be away for weeks or months.

[Hoggirl]

For church activities, around 9. For sports, at ten, but not always depending on the coach/location. For some silly reason my son still wants me to walk him into his piano lesson. I think it is b/c the teacher's studio entrance is around the back of her house.

[Tracey in TX]

Depends on the activity, indoor/outdoors, hours spent, how long have we known coach/teacher, etc.

 

*We carpool for both soccer teams, so we're not at every practice.

*I NEVER left DDs original guitar studio b/c her teacher gave me the creeps. (She's at another studio now and I leave her for 30 min. and spend time w/ others.)

*Dance--DD normally gets a ride from neighbor

*Gymnastics--enjoy watching, but frequently leave girls. 90 min X days/wk is too much time for sibs

 

Have left them as early as 4y/o for class b/c we knew coaches well and kids were ok w/ us not watching. My kiddos are involved in too many sports to remain at every activity. They either have a phone, another parent, or access to phone if they have a situation.

[cin]

DDs are in a gymnastics class together. DD6 has been with this teacher for 3 years and the class is 90 minutes. I know the people there, so I take advantage of the time :) I use to sit in the car with dd then 18 mos, while she slept, but now she's in the class too :D And there is a dairy queen next door. :D

[DollyM]

When it was the Christian piano teacher mom who I've known for 20 years, then the age of the child was 7-8 for both DS and DD.

 

When it was an unknown teacher at the fencing school then it was 13 (DS). I mean, he fenced from 8-12 with at several different schools/teachers and we stayed in the lobby for every lesson ... when we went to a new school at age 12, I stayed for the first several months, but by the time he was 13 I was a "drop and shop" mom, and felt comfortable with that. By then I'd gotten to know the coach, his wife, his child and his reputation. Also DS was pretty big by then, and he had a sword in his hand :lol: (Sorry, couldn't resist - this is really a serious issue.)

 

DD took a dance class every night from age 11. Since the school was far away and I had to drive her, I stayed in the lobby thru age 15. For EVERY class. Somewhere in there (age 12) one of the teachers was arrested for abusing the girls (we left THAT school obviously) . I knew DD had never been "at risk" since I'd been PRESENT in the hallway with an open door to the classroom for VIRTUALLY EVERY lesson she'd ever had there. The "drop & shop" moms THERE were quite shaken, obviously, and rightly so - thankfully I was able to affirm that nothing had happened to THEIR girls while I was there. I also made it my personal mission to NEVER leave a child UNATTENDED at the dance school who was awaiting pick-up AFTER class - I would WAIT with the kid for the parents to pick up - not because I suspected anything, but because it seemed prudent to me. This was somethign God put on my heart (protecting the gift and all that) and I did it happily and willingly. After the horrible "arrest" situation, it was clear to me WHY the Lord had pricked my heart in this area. Turns out the abused girl had been allowed to be alone in the school with the teacher during private lessons at off-times during the day. WHAT WAS that mother thinking? The girl was 11-14 during that time.

 

Protecting the gift. It's a book. Read it.

[Cricket]

Like others said, it depends on the activity. For tae kwon do, I am usually there but occassionally I will drop the kids and run to the store to grab milk or something quick like that. I guess I only do that with the 10 yo. I still hang around for the full class for my 7 yo but that is mostly so I can see what he is learning next so I can help him practice at home. The 10 yo is way beyond my abilities to help him now. :) Tae kwon do is a very controlled environment--not outdoors with lots of strangers around and the kids are under someone's eye and authority at all times. Dh or I were always around for baseball practice. That is at a public park or school with lots of people around and kids running all over.

[Tammyla]

I voted other. Each activity is different. I've felt comfortable dropping them off to indoor classes for years. Most of their sports activites, I've stayed for especially if it was a single coach. We've been coaches and if an injury occurs a parent there is a blessing.

[bettyandbob]

Overall, I was dropping both older children for everything by age 10. One son was left at OT alone at age 5, but I never left him alone at T-ball or soccer from age 6-8. The dads at those activities are coaching not supervising behavior. They are on open fields and I just didn't trust ds at that time. At 10, I was leaving this child at the drop in chess club. This was not a kids activity and not supervised as such, but this child was more mature and had developed some sense regarding how to handle things that feel right and wrong. DD was dropped at classes at 8. She may have gone to some bd parties at 5 or so.

 

At age 8 both my older kids could walk to the neighborhood pool and stay there on their own.

 

It is not just about trusting other people with your child. You may want to read Protecting the Gift. It has a lot of information on teaching kids how to sense situations. I've always been a big believer in practicing this stuff and developing independence. I don't think you can make all the decision and then turn your kids loose as teens and expect them to figure out if a situation is good or bad. You have to build activities they can do on the way to help them develop street sense. Once your child can communicate well, you can begin working on these skills.

[Jen in PA]

I began dropping dd off at dance and tumbling classes when she was 3, although this was at the community center where dh works, so I'm not sure that counts! I also use the drop-off babysitting there for both kids at times, probably started when they were 1 and 3. Last fall I began dropping dd off for homeschool science classes at the natural history museum not long after she turned 4. That was hard for me the first time, but seemed easy for her! Parents can take these classes with their kids, so the room was full of adults, but I can't join in until ds is a bit older. Now that I know the teacher there I have no qualms about dropping her off.

[TraceyS/FL]

My oldest:

She was in the 9-10 range when we dropped her off at the library for her art class. We live "down the street" sorta (like a mile down the street). She'd also done daycare/preschool from 6weeks old thru 2nd grade though.

 

She now goes to art class with her younger sister, and i'll drop them off together at the library during the youngers speech lesson. Oldest has a phone to reach me, it's been ok'd by the librarian they behave well enough to be left.

 

The middle - almost 9:

Not sure at what point i will feel comfy leaving her alone like that. She is my special needs kid and alone is more at a 5-6 year old level. She's looking forward to it though.

 

The youngest - almost 4:

It will be awhile. I have left speech twice since she has been going - both times running across the street, and told the teacher i was leaving. I'm just not comfy with it since she doesn't attend school there you know?

 

NOW, NONE of them are dropped off and left at gymnastics. I don't even go sit in the parking lot - DH will occasionally.

 

Ya well, he didn't live the DD2 doing the back bend and breaking her arm (2nd break in the gyms 15 year history, and the 1st was a team member on the bars). I just can't do it - i won't put the owner in the position to try to track me down if something happens. But that is me - i'm often the ONLY parent there. Heck, one ladies DD got the wind knocked out of her and she was reading a book and didn't even know what had happened - and I had gone out to the floor to help her DD. Different Strokes i guess.......

 

Everything else we do we don't live close enough to drop and run.

[anewday]

I don't know if I was comfortable per se..LOL..but I felt it was safe and a great opportunity for my kiddos, so I dropped them off at an art school for classes with other hsers when they were 5 (almost 6) and 8.

 

However, I chose 7-8 because I would not have done it if it was just my 5yo. Because they were in the same class together, it helped.

 

It really depends on the event. A class is one thing. I would probably stick around at a birthday party or less structured event.

[QuirkyKapers]

I drop the kids off for Awana. If I have any doubts, I don't drop off. In fact I moinitored a program and it turned out that it wasn't a good fit.

[Alenee]

I voted "other" because for me it truly depends on the activity, which child it is, and who is there to supervise. I'm pretty protective. I've never left them at a b-day party. That just seems wrong to me anyway. The poor moms who put on these parties getting left with who knows how many kids? I just can't do that to them. DD9 goes to art school for two hours by herself, technically. She's in a class with two of her good friends. It's a very controlled situation. I don't leave them for piano lessons though and I coach dd9's soccer team. DD6 does gymnastics for 1hr. 20 min. and I've only left twice. I prefer to stay and watch and keep an eye on things.

[Sasharowan]

I voted other. My oldest ds12 was probably 10 before being dropped off but my dd8 and ds7 have been since they were 5/6. By dropped off I mean I walk them in to Taekwondo and let the instructor know that they are there and when I would return. But then everyone in taekwondo has known them since they were born. My oldest is very shy and protests new situations so any changes he needs prep for (although he's getting better) and my dd is very outgoing and was fine being left with friends at really young ages. My 2nd ds is kinda in between and has to be evaluated on a case by case type thing. For instance he'll be fine this week and not want us to leave him the next. It all depends on how he feels and what is going on elsewhere in his life.

[tbmoran]

For me, it's really not so much about the age as about feeling comfortable with those I'm leaving my child with. So, if we've done a lot of things before and know the people running the show, if other moms who know us are going to be around, etc., then I'm probably fine with leaving. If it's completely new and we don't know the people running the show, then I'm probably not okay with leaving.

 

I agree. My children are older teens and I still don't feel comfortable "dropping them off" at certain events. There have been very few times that I have allowed my dd to spend the night at others houses. Instead, we try to be proactive and have the kids in our home. I really want to know the person in charge of the activity, before I "drop them off". There are too many weirdos out there. I also try to teach my kids what to do in case they are in a situation that they do not feel comfortable.

[HollyinNNV]

It really depends upon many factors like if we know other people at the activity. How long is the activity. Will there be dressing/undressing (swimming) at the activity. And it is there even enough time for me to go somewhere and come back? Generally I stay and I have a 14 yo dd and 8 yo ds.

Holly