We found "the" house, but....

[LarlaB]

its 'for sale by owner' and the owner is violently opposed to our Realtor. What to do?

 

We found the house ourselves under very amazing circumstances (we had a showing at a vacant home on Friday, went back Saturday to show sister the back yard of the house and saw that neighbors had put a 'for sale by owner' sign on their deck- we walked around, knocked on the door- walked in and instantly "knew" it was perfect, as was the price...its just what we were looking for in the neighborhood we had picked)

 

So, after deliberation we decided to involve our Realtor because of (1)courtesy for her help and (2)we are 1200 miles away and would appreciate the localized help.

 

Well we flew home yesterday, and got off the plane to hear the voicemail from our agent that apparently the seller has been less than professional (i.e. arrogant, mocking, rude, back-channels dealings)- he simply ignored our contract deadline that expired yesterday by simply never responding. She hand delivered the contract on Monday, and he laughed in her face RE our full price offer that included $6k seller paid closing costs, and mocked her explanation of the technicalities of the contract (we have a contingency) and told her flat out that they don't want realtors involved. He ranted that he's built houses & sold them himself- doesn't need anyones help etc. That was all. No discussion or response to the offer. I think our Realtor was too overwhelmed & offended to ask- to be fair, from the first moment she has been nothing but negative RE 'for sale by owner people'. :glare:

 

I loathe the way he carrying on, but love his house and how much he has taken care of it. Our home hasn't sold yet, but he had no issue when we told them that on our second walk thru/showing- he said a 48 hour kick out clause would be fine (meaning if they got a clean offer, we would have 48 hours to remove the "must-sell house" contingency on our offer)

 

Soooooo- what would you do? Suggestions?

 

THANKS for reading all of this craziness (snort) and for taking time to reply! :)

[Mrs Mungo]

I would be worried about why he was so opposed. Is he opposed to an inspection? He builds homes and sells them himself, but is everything done to code? It would make me wonder. If I did proceed without a realtor, I would proceed under legal advice and with a very good home inspector.

[vonfirmath]

I'd be VERY wary of someone that violently opposed to my realtor. What is he trying to hide? It would make even the best house seem less good to my eyes.

[SailorMom]

I'm sure this isn't the first numbskull your realtor has had to deal with..... Don't worry about that.

If he is against the realtor, make it clear you will still involve a real estate lawyer to go over contracts, etc., and that there will still be an extensive home inspection by the inspector of your choice.

[Cera]

Is the owner unwilling to work with any realtor or just your realtor? If your realtor was very against FSBO properties the owner may have picked up on that even if she didn't come out and say it.

 

It may be a money issue if the seller doesn't want to pay a commission to your realtor.

 

If you love the house I would contact the owner directly and be very up front with him. Tell him you love the house and want to purchase it and ask what issues there are that are getting in the way of that. I have found that in most cases going directly to the source and asking questions politely makes it much easier to understand what is going on.

[mommaduck]

I would be worried about why he was so opposed. Is he opposed to an inspection? He builds homes and sells them himself, but is everything done to code? It would make me wonder. If I did proceed without a realtor, I would proceed under legal advice and with a very good home inspector.

 

:iagree:

honestly, I'd run away from that house!

[LarlaB]

Is the owner unwilling to work with any realtor or just your realtor? If your realtor was very against FSBO properties the owner may have picked up on that even if she didn't come out and say it.

 

It may be a money issue if the seller doesn't want to pay a commission to your realtor.

 

If you love the house I would contact the owner directly and be very up front with him. Tell him you love the house and want to purchase it and ask what issues there are that are getting in the way of that. I have found that in most cases going directly to the source and asking questions politely makes it much easier to understand what is going on.

 

This is what I'm thinking.... its ALL realtors, but I think our realtor's 'let me school you' approach might be making things worse.

 

He (and his wife) seem to really like us- everyone commented on that. And he isn't acting like he has something to hide- we thoroughly discussed the flaws of the house- he was forthcoming. No, he did not build THIS house. ;) I think he is trying to communicate that he does not NEED assistance and is very much a do-it-yourself kind of person. We get that, but in this case wanted a realtors help because we are (1)busy selling and (2)out of area. But if he isn't willing to work w/ a realtor at all, obviously, we will have to give on that.

 

And yes, we would have appraisal, inspection, radon tests etc and would have an attorney help us w/ contracts & title company w/ closings etc. We've sold a home 'for-sale-by-owner' before, so we know what to do- were just trying to avoid the harder approach and let a realtor help us out.

[Paintedlady]

If I need to do business with someone and I see them being rude, mocking, etc... to someone else, I figure it's only a matter of time before we don't see eye to eye on something and they start acting that way towards me. He's revealing his true personality in the way he deals with your realtor and it's probably only a matter of time before he turns that ugliness in your direction.

 

If he doesn't like what your home inspector says or something turns up before/during the closing, he's the person you'll be counting on to act in a reasonable manner. I'd walk away. Sorry. :grouphug:

[In The Great White North]

Maybe it's a) the commission and b) the idea of needing a realtor, possibly based on a previous bad experience.

 

Perhaps if you called him and offered to pay your realtor's commission yourself (because she is working for you, not him, at this point) and explained your need for a realtor because you are out of town, they would consider it?

 

I doubt if wanting to do a FSBO equals "trying to hide something." And I've never really found "seller's realtors" to be all that forthcoming either.

 

Our realtor, when we used one, said if we found a FSBO house, he was done. I'm a bit surprised your realtor is even willing to work with him.

 

(OTOH, if you do decide to continue without your realtor, and he gets an offer without contingencies before your house sells, you would have to find another realtor willing to work with you.)

[Joanna from CAP]

Wow, sounds like us a year ago. We did end up buying from the owner, with the help of a real estate lawyer and a good inspector. We payed the lawyer, and in our case it came out to about $500.

 

It was a messy transaction with a lot of panic and moments where it looked like everything would just fall through. The owners sound similar. In our case, the owner was very fiscally conservative (not that that is a bad thing) and was also extremely proud of and attached to the house, and having someone in the middle who was not emotionally involved definitely would have been helpful. I credit my dh for persevering through it all with patience, and perspective. I probably would have walked away a couple of times. Whatever you do, make sure the owner signs the sales contract right away...and don't count on buying the house until he does.

 

I do feel bad that our buyer's realtor was cut out of the deal after the time she spent showing us other properties, but I think she understood that this was the house for us. We sent her a thank you note and gift card for her time. Not much, but something.

 

So, in our case it worked out in the end, but the process was not pretty. I will be happy to use a realtor in the future, and definitely learned the value of what they do. On the other hand...it was THE house. We love it everyday, and now that all of the drama is over, we know it was the right decision.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Joanna from CAP

[Swirl]

It may be a money issue if the seller doesn't want to pay a commission to your realtor.

 

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts this is the root of the problem. He probably thinks that if a realtor is involved it will cost him money one way or another.

 

The last house we sold was by owner. From the time we put the sign in the ground we were constantly hounded by realtors. It put a really bad taste in my mouth for realtors.

[Trish]

Unless it's a special financial arrangement, the realtor works for the seller. Something to keep in mind even if you have a cozy relationship with "your" realtor.

 

A real estate lawyer can handle the transaction, without the need for a realtor.

[Mrs Mungo]

Unless it's a special financial arrangement, the realtor works for the seller. Something to keep in mind even if you have a cozy relationship with "your" realtor.

 

There are realtors who work for the seller and realtors who work for the buyer. This isn't the seller's realtor, this is a realtor that they have been working with.

 

A real estate lawyer can handle the transaction, without the need for a realtor.

 

I agree, but you usually sign some sort of agreement when you start working with a realtor.

[K-FL]

There are realtors who work for the seller and realtors who work for the buyer. This isn't the seller's realtor, this is a realtor that they have been working with.

 

From her op, the realtor added the 6% commission for the seller. I'd be balking too in his place! If the realtor wants to work for you for 3% (or a flat fee) fine, but to bill him for a service he doesn't want or obviously need is rude on the realtor's part.

 

I agree, but you usually sign some sort of agreement when you start working with a realtor.

In my experience as a buyer, seller & realtor, not if you're the buyer. They flit from one agent to another many times. I often felt like I'd be better working for the chamber of commerce for all the postage I spent sending info to buyers.

 

 

:glare:

[Retired]

I have sold several homes myself. I did not deal with Realtors.

 

I had Realtors call me offering to show my house for one of their clients and I always turned down.

 

Main Reason. I always was able to offer my home for less than the general market for the area because I didn't need need the Realtors 6% mark up.

The Realtor get a 6% fee for showing a house, meeting inspectors and contacting a title company/bank. I can do all that stuff.

 

The Title Company does all the paperwork and legal stuff.

 

I just bet this guy feels the same way I do.

 

I am wondering since you now contacted your Realtor regarding the house that you are stuck with the month time period that if you buy she gets commission money. I know there is some type of clause on Realtors contracts in our state.. She will more than likely demand a fee. I know in our state they can.

 

You should of went on and bought it but now with the Realtor involved you will have to pay fees and up the head ache for the seller.

 

He may just walk away from dealing with you.

 

Just my opinion from someone who has bought one house and sold one house through a Realtors, and have since sold 4 houses and bought 2 houses all without a Realtor

[LinRTX]

When we sold by owner, we did not want a real estate agent taking part of the money for his/her fees. The buyers could pay the fees if they wanted to,but we had done all the work and there was no way part of our accepted amount was going to the real estate agent. So the buyer would have to come up with more money than the price we accepted.

 

Linda

[OLG]

Maybe it's a) the commission and b) the idea of needing a realtor, possibly based on a previous bad experience.

 

Perhaps if you called him and offered to pay your realtor's commission yourself (because she is working for you, not him, at this point) and explained your need for a realtor because you are out of town, they would consider it?

 

I doubt if wanting to do a FSBO equals "trying to hide something." And I've never really found "seller's realtors" to be all that forthcoming either.

 

Our realtor, when we used one, said if we found a FSBO house, he was done. I'm a bit surprised your realtor is even willing to work with him.

 

(OTOH, if you do decide to continue without your realtor, and he gets an offer without contingencies before your house sells, you would have to find another realtor willing to work with you.)

:iagree:

 

Frankly, if I was this guy, I would be highly annoyed that a realtor suddenly appeared on the scene when I thought I was dealing with independent buyers. He could feel ambushed, you know. I would have not brought the realtor in on this in the first place but now that you have, offering to pay her costs is your only hope.

[praisefor3]

I wouldn't be dissuaded by his behavior YET. He has a strong opinion about realtors...a lot of people do. Some people are more brazen and less tactful and although that is a real turn off to me in a friendship, it would not keep me from buying a house from him...at least nothing you've said so far. That could change in his future dealings or behavior. At this point it sounds like you are complicating the situation (possibly for both of you) by including your realtor. Explain to the realtor that due to the circumstances it is in your best interest to pursue this alone. Get her out of the picture, save your money on her fees and complete the transaction. You did not set out to do it this way but you have to make business decisions based on information provided as you learn it. Right now you may miss out on THE house if you continue trying to bring her into the situation.

[QueenCat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs Mungo

There are realtors who work for the seller and realtors who work for the buyer. This isn't the seller's realtor, this is a realtor that they have been working with.

 

From her op, the realtor added the 6% commission for the seller. I'd be balking too in his place! If the realtor wants to work for you for 3% (or a flat fee) fine, but to bill him for a service he doesn't want or obviously need is rude on the realtor's part.Quote

 

The only thing the op mentioned was $6000 in seller paid closing costs. It's normal to ask the seller to pay closing costs.

 

[elegantlion]

If I need to do business with someone and I see them being rude, mocking, etc... to someone else, I figure it's only a matter of time before we don't see eye to eye on something and they start acting that way towards me. He's revealing his true personality in the way he deals with your realtor and it's probably only a matter of time before he turns that ugliness in your direction.

 

If he doesn't like what your home inspector says or something turns up before/during the closing, he's the person you'll be counting on to act in a reasonable manner. I'd walk away. Sorry. :grouphug:

:iagree:

 

 

I would be wary. Real estate is a business transaction and anyone acting in a less than business like manner would concern me.

 

We sold our first house FSBO. We talked to a few agents and agreed to splitting a commission should they bring us a buyer.

 

In this market if you're being belligerent toward a realtor, well...I would probably get both sides of the story. Not acknowledging a contract seems pretty arrogant.

 

Buying a house has always been our biggest stressor, and we've dealt with a lot of things. Having issues like this before a contract is even accepted would make me want to run away, even from the perfect house.

[LarlaB]

OP here.

 

Yes, we offered $1K over asking price w/ $6K for closing costs. Also, the contract was written w/ 2.8% realtor fee involved (roughly $9K). Its all semantics (i.e. money & the bottom line). We did not expect him to accept the offer, yet neither did we expect him to completely be rude to our agent (and therefore us). The greater issue is how to proceed with someone who is acting in this manner- no matter his motivation.

 

We didn't sign a contract w/ our agent, so there is no legal obligation to work with or pay her.

 

The twist to this is that the sellers are not officially for sale. They simply put a sign on their back deck so that the ONLY people who can see this sign, are those who are with a Realtor and viewing the house for sale behind it. The neighboring house recently went up for sale, and they saw all the foot traffic and thought "lets put it up early and see what happens". Kind of crafty & tricky all at once. They do not have a signage in the front yard and are not officially for sale yet (they were aiming for May Fsbo listing). So his expectation that people are going to circumvent their realtor simply because he's a FSBO listing, is not realistic. The only way all those people saw his listing was BECAUSE of their agent.

 

I totally 'get' where he is coming from- I do. As I said, we've done FSBO before to save the $$. We're getting the clear picture that he literally & financially does not want a realtor involved and I wanted to see how others would proceed.

[JFSinIL]

When we got our current house - we heard from another family in the local Mother of Twins Club that they were moving. Having been in their house before, I knew it would work for us and said "I'll buy it." She had me come over that night to walk through with hubby, and yes, we bought it. NOTE - they had already signed with a Realtor, and even through he did NOTHING to get them the sale, they still had to give him his 6%.

[Dobela]

My dad sells and resells property FSBO and always allows realtors to show it. He makes it very clear however that the buyer will have to pay all realtor fees and that he will most likely not give as good of a deal if a realtor is used. However, in some cases, like theOPs, he understands why a realtor is involved. There are a couple of realtors in our town that will regularly show any of his homes.

 

However, if this man is very opposed to a realtor, then you only have 2 options - buy without one or move on to another house. Since this house is fresh on the market, I doubt the owner is going to wiggle much yet. If it stays on the market for a longer time then he may be more willing to work with what you offered.

 

You do have to be careful with realtors. I love the one we just used, but we had some bad experiences with the 2 before him. One was a friend of mine I have known for years, and that we go to church with. After taking us to a few houses she pretty much turned into a vulture pressuring us to make a fast decision and pressuring us to make certain offers. It has since caused a rift in our friendship. The other one was also someone I have known most of my life. He offered to help us then never returned a phone call. For too many, it seemed to us, the realtor is all about their comission but not really for the buyer.

[happypamama]

I'd be very cautious, consult a lawyer, and get a very thorough inspection. I suspect he's probably most concerned because it's usually the seller who pays the commission for both the seller's realtor and the buyer's realtor; if he wasn't intending to pay that, even just paying for your realtor is going to cut into his profit on the sale, and he is probably annoyed about that. I think I'd see if I could negotiate a bit -- pay your realtor yourself, or raise the price you're offering a bit (to let you finance the realtor's commission, if you don't have extra cash to pay the realtor yourself right now). Depending on the local rules for transfer tax and the price of the house, the $6,000 you've asked for in closing cost help might also go to pay for part of your realtor's commission.

[happypamama]

The twist to this is that the sellers are not officially for sale. They simply put a sign on their back deck so that the ONLY people who can see this sign, are those who are with a Realtor and viewing the house for sale behind it. The neighboring house recently went up for sale, and they saw all the foot traffic and thought "lets put it up early and see what happens". Kind of crafty & tricky all at once. They do not have a signage in the front yard and are not officially for sale yet (they were aiming for May Fsbo listing). So his expectation that people are going to circumvent their realtor simply because he's a FSBO listing, is not realistic. The only way all those people saw his listing was BECAUSE of their agent.

 

 

 

Oh, that's sneaky! And you're right, doesn't seem realistic; many of the people who see the other house with their realtors have already signed a contract to work wtih their realtor.

 

I would definitely be talking with a lawyer. This seller sounds tricky; I would be concerned that he'd try to pull something over on me sometime.

Edited April 13, 2011 by happypamama
fixed quote

[Scarlett]

OP here.

 

Yes, we offered $1K over asking price w/ $6K for closing costs. Also, the contract was written w/ 2.8% realtor fee involved (roughly $9K). Its all semantics (i.e. money & the bottom line). We did not expect him to accept the offer, yet neither did we expect him to completely be rude to our agent (and therefore us). The greater issue is how to proceed with someone who is acting in this manner- no matter his motivation.

 

We didn't sign a contract w/ our agent, so there is no legal obligation to work with or pay her.

 

The twist to this is that the sellers are not officially for sale. They simply put a sign on their back deck so that the ONLY people who can see this sign, are those who are with a Realtor and viewing the house for sale behind it. The neighboring house recently went up for sale, and they saw all the foot traffic and thought "lets put it up early and see what happens". Kind of crafty & tricky all at once. They do not have a signage in the front yard and are not officially for sale yet (they were aiming for May Fsbo listing). So his expectation that people are going to circumvent their realtor simply because he's a FSBO listing, is not realistic. The only way all those people saw his listing was BECAUSE of their agent.

 

I totally 'get' where he is coming from- I do. As I said, we've done FSBO before to save the $$. We're getting the clear picture that he literally & financially does not want a realtor involved and I wanted to see how others would proceed.

 

I would not have involved a realtor. I would of course have an inspection, and all that jazz...

 

I don't think he sounds suspcious at all. He sounds like he doesn't really need to sell his house and maybe he thinks he will get a full price offer. A TRUE full price offer. Maybe your realtor ticked him off. People get emotional about their homes. And some people do not like being 'educated'.

 

I would say if you really want the house just do it his way (while of course being prudent to protect your own interests).

[Swirl]

Oh, that's sneaky! And you're right, doesn't seem realistic; many of the people who see the other house with their realtors have already signed a contract to work wtih their realtor.

 

I've never signed a contract with a realtor to show me a house.

[Scarlett]

I've never signed a contract with a realtor to show me a house.

 

Me either and I won't. However, it is fairly common these days.

 

I have my RE license...recently let it go inactive....dont' have the time to invest in it and honestly the 'game' is just about enough to ruin it for me for the future.

 

Oh, and as far as it not being 'officially' for sale....what does that mean OP? If he says it is for sale, it is for sale. Doesn't really matter if he even puts a sign in the yard.

[TravelingChris]

THe man sounds sneaky. I would not buy a house from someone like that, even if I liked the house. There is too much that can go wrong. I am with Mrs. Mungo on this.

[happypamama]

I've never signed a contract with a realtor to show me a house.

 

You don't have to. I don't, either, until I find the right house, and then I sign a contract, agreeing that I will work only with that realtor, and that realtor is agreeing to represent my interests. But I don't think it's uncommon for people to sign a contract early.

[Jennifer3141]

If someone is rude and mocking to someone else I've chosen to do business with, then I'd run away from this house like my butt was on fire. He's being a JERK. Why on earth would anyone want to REWARD that??? And why would anyone think that he wouldn't turn on you at some point?

[elfgivas]

how sad. we've bought and sold multiple times in multiple cities, always thru agents as we have only once moved to somewhere within driving distance.

 

if you really want that particular house, then it sounds as if you will need to make contact with the owner and find out what it is going to take to get him to agree to sell it. then you need to decide whether that works for you or not. if it doesn't, you can tell him so, and find another house. if it does, you can proceed. if you can wait, three months from now he may be far more flexible.... you don't need to like him or how he does business, but it does need to actually happen well in the end... (my dh is definitely better at this than i am; he can be clear that its business. for me, business is a relationship, so i'd be done even if i loved the house. it is one of the reasons most houses are shown without the owners present.)

 

for me, knowing that most houses are not where i will be living forever, i tend to be more flexible. i need light, safety, quiet, good air and resale value... air conditioning helps ; )

 

good luck!

ann

[Scuff]

You have valid reasons for wanting a realtor. The seller needs to understand that. Your realtor shouldn't get full fees, just her half. I would talk to the owner. Explain to him why you need a realtor, that she won't be taking a sellers commision, and request he look at the offer. If he's willing, awesome. If not, I'd walk away.

 

When we bought this house we didn't have our own realtor. We saw it on cable and called. A realtor friend of DH's family heard about it and offered to be our realtor, but we turned her down because of "feeings": We found it on our own, the other realtor had shown it to us, so it wouldn't be "fair". Ugh. I will always regret that decision. We should have hired her. She did convince us to have the seller's realtor sign as a dual agent. And she did act a little differnet after that. (pointing our that we might have to replace the roof, when the sellers had previously told us it was new) Yes we were clueless. But that's what a realtor is for. They make their living doing this- they know more about it! It would be so hard to walk away from the "perfect" house. But you could end up in a mess! Don't loose your walk away power or you might regret it later. This is a buyer's market. So hopefully he'll come around. He has n almost full price offer very quickly. That's not something many can say these days!

[Scuff]

OP here.

 

We're getting the clear picture that he literally & financially does not want a realtor involved and I wanted to see how others would proceed.

 

Then I would walk away. Tell him you love his house, give him your realtor's number and let him know that if he changes his mind before you find something else, you'd love to work with him. Perhaps the incentive to actually having a buyer without doing the work will eventually trump his stuborness to not have a realtor.

[Sara R]

How much do you trust your realtor? Are you basing your negative opinion of the buyer solely on what your realtor has told you?

[Happy]

You have valid reasons for wanting a realtor. The seller needs to understand that. Your realtor shouldn't get full fees, just her half. I would talk to the owner. Explain to him why you need a realtor, that she won't be taking a sellers commision, and request he look at the offer. If he's willing, awesome. If not, I'd walk away.

 

When we bought this house we didn't have our own realtor. We saw it on cable and called. A realtor friend of DH's family heard about it and offered to be our realtor, but we turned her down because of "feeings": We found it on our own, the other realtor had shown it to us, so it wouldn't be "fair". Ugh. I will always regret that decision. We should have hired her. She did convince us to have the seller's realtor sign as a dual agent. And she did act a little differnet after that. (pointing our that we might have to replace the roof, when the sellers had previously told us it was new) Yes we were clueless. But that's what a realtor is for. They make their living doing this- they know more about it! It would be so hard to walk away from the "perfect" house. But you could end up in a mess! Don't loose your walk away power or you might regret it later. This is a buyer's market. So hopefully he'll come around. He has n almost full price offer very quickly. That's not something many can say these days!

 

Having someone protect your interests is worth a great deal. Laws have changed in most states, so as a buyer you do have representation from an agent.

 

I'm a realtor. Believe me, the real work starts after someone expresses interest in a property. Yesterday (and probably today) I was involved in rather intense and heated discussions about what repairs my sellers will and will not be willing to pay for. Yes, the buyers offered a full price offer with the seller paying some closing costs, but the buyers are not being reasonable about the repairs to this sweet little house. It's the buyer's agent's job to pursue the best deal for her client, too. Will we come to an agreement? I certainly hope so. My sellers want to join a mission work in another state. The buyers want to live down the street from relatives. It's all good. It won't hurt at all that the commission would pay my house payment for June. ;) My husband's job is over this week, so income will be good.

 

Doing those kinds of negotiations is stressful for me, but it's my job...how would it be for you from 1200 miles away? (And can I remind people that realtors work completely by commission? We spend hours and hours helping people, pursuing leads (in a gentle manner in my case) and doing negotiations all without a certainty of a paycheck. It's not an easy life, especially in today's market.)

 

Frankly, from this guy's reaction, it sounds like he doesn't really WANT to sell. I'd be very careful.

[Scarlett]

Then I would walk away. Tell him you love his house, give him your realtor's number and let him know that if he changes his mind before you find something else, you'd love to work with him. Perhaps the incentive to actually having a buyer without doing the work will eventually trump his stuborness to not have a realtor.

 

She can certainly walk away if the seller is not willing to use her realtor. Just as he can decline to sell to her if she insists on a realtor. I for one can't understand the NEED for the realtor. If a buyer uses a home inspector and a title company.....I am not sure what exactly people think this man can DO to her. Besides if he was really a scam artist do you (the collective you) think he would be so abrasive?

 

Also, if there is to be a mortgage on this home....the mortgage company will make sure all documents are in order.

 

Seriously....I've sold a house FSBO, and I've bought a house FSBO. I had ZERO problems both times.

 

If I wanted the house, I would work with him.

[kitten18]

We didn't sign a contract w/ our agent, so there is no legal obligation to work with or pay her.

 

In that case, if I really wanted the house. I would contact the seller and let him know that I would be willing to proceed WITH a real estate attorney.

 

If it all works out, I would send a generous gift card to the realtor who spent time showing you houses.

[Scarlett]

Frankly, from this guy's reaction, it sounds like he doesn't really WANT to sell. I'd be very careful.

 

Why 'be careful'? I agree he isn't hot to sell it. He either will sell it or not. I guess the only 'be careful' would be that they not offer more than it is worth in an effort to have the house.

[vonfirmath]

Why 'be careful'? I agree he isn't hot to sell it. He either will sell it or not. I guess the only 'be careful' would be that they not offer more than it is worth in an effort to have the house.

 

Why be careful? Because the house is the biggest single purchase most of us will make in our lives. Because there is so much at stake, there is also a lot of incentive for not revealing everything/cutting corners/etc. to make as much money as possible. From 1200 miles away, it can be very hard to oversee everything and make sure it is up and up.

 

People who live in the same city have ended up in bad situations -- despite having bank loans, title companies, etc. involved. And while many FSBO sales go great, not all do. The realtor, ideally, knows the market, knows the laws, knows the questions to ask that we, as individuals, in general do not. Plus gives another avenue of recourse if something IS missed.

[emmn]

I would go ahead and do the sale with the owner and lawyer and give your realtor a sum for helping you after the closing. You are in no way obligated to use her... but if you feel she is owed something for her time this is the best approach.

[LarlaB]

Thanks for the replies. I've read quite a few to my husband. :001_smile:

 

After mulling it over this AM, I agree that we introduced the conflict into this situation w/ bringing our realtor along. We felt that (1)she would be an asset to the situation because we are not doing a local move and (2)we felt it was the honorable thing to do given the history.

 

Yet neither our realtor OR the seller have acted gracefully- they each have loudly voiced heir bias & issues towards the other and muddied our situation. Our offer was very strong, and their price was fair based on comps.

 

UPDATE: Our realtor called to 'check in' (i.e. see if we've had contact w/ seller). She overplayed her hand by offering to keep an eye on that neighborhood and even call other residents to see if anything is coming on the market- intimating, we move on.

 

So now she has overstepped bounds. We have already communicated that THIS is the house and we are not finished negotiating. I honestly think we would have a deal if it wasn't for her involvement (i.e. commission).

 

We are going to ask her to step out at this point- likely send her something because we trully are appreciative, but having been in sales I know the harsh reality of missing a few.

[Scarlett]

Why be careful? Because the house is the biggest single purchase most of us will make in our lives. Because there is so much at stake, there is also a lot of incentive for not revealing everything/cutting corners/etc. to make as much money as possible. From 1200 miles away, it can be very hard to oversee everything and make sure it is up and up.

 

 

I mean why BE CAREFUL just because the old coot is being contrary. How is that some sort of proof or even indication that he requires an extra wide berth?

Edited April 13, 2011 by Scarlett
removing snark

[Scarlett]

Thanks for the replies. I've read quite a few to my husband. :001_smile:

 

After mulling it over this AM, I agree that we introduced the conflict into this situation w/ bringing our realtor along. We felt that (1)she would be an asset to the situation because we are not doing a local move and (2)we felt it was the honorable thing to do given the history.

 

Yet neither our realtor OR the seller have acted gracefully- they each have loudly voiced heir bias & issues towards the other and muddied our situation. Our offer was very strong, and their price was fair based on comps.

 

UPDATE: Our realtor called to 'check in' (i.e. see if we've had contact w/ seller). She overplayed her hand by offering to keep an eye on that neighborhood and even call other residents to see if anything is coming on the market- intimating, we move on.

 

So now she has overstepped bounds. We have already communicated that THIS is the house and we are not finished negotiating. I honestly think we would have a deal if it wasn't for her involvement (i.e. commission).

 

We are going to ask her to step out at this point- likely send her something because we trully are appreciative, but having been in sales I know the harsh reality of missing a few.

 

Yes, this is how I see the entire thing too. Hope you get the house. :)

[FeFe]

How much do you trust your realtor? Are you basing your negative opinion of the buyer solely on what your realtor has told you?

 

:iagree: It seems your personal experience with him was a good one. I think I would contact him directly to see how he would want this deal to work out. If that works for you then good, proceed. If not, then I'd walk away.

 

I hope you get it all worked out and find the perfect place for your family soon. I know how it is to buy a house far away - frustrating yet adventurous!

[LifeLovePassion]

I haven't had time to read all the replies, but here are some thoughts (as someone with a former life in the title closing business) Do you have a contract with your realtor stating you will pay commission in the event that the seller isn't offering any $ to the realtor? If so, you'll need to come up with that money. That is a fee the sellers were probably not offering since it was a FSBO. If not, I'd see about terminating your contract with her if you are offering on the house so she won't muddy things up for you.

[Happy]

I mean why BE CAREFUL just because the old coot is being contrary. How is that some sort of proof or even indication that he requires an extra wide berth?

 

I just see him as someone who is going to be a problem. He sounds like he over reacted to the realtor situation...what else will he over react to? From 1200 miles away, that could be fun.

 

In my pre-realtor days, I sold and purchased FSBO. One was a horror story. One was smooth as silk. I was in town for both. Having someone in my corner is an asset in my opinion. YMMV. It's the single biggest investment most people make.

[Scarlett]

I just see him as someone who is going to be a problem. He sounds like he over reacted to the realtor situation...what else will he over react to? From 1200 miles away, that could be fun.

 

In my pre-realtor days, I sold and purchased FSBO. One was a horror story. One was smooth as silk. I was in town for both. Having someone in my corner is an asset in my opinion. YMMV. It's the single biggest investment most people make.

 

Yes, I agree it is the biggest investment most of us will make. I just can't imagine not buying a house because the seller's personality was abrasive.

 

Some people need/want a realtor. If it makes them more comfortable, so be it. I just happen to be very disallusioned with the entire business (of realtors) right now.

[HomeOnTheRanch]

Haven't read all the replies, but we've bought 6 homes (4 FSBO, 2 w/realtor), and sold 3 of them. One was sold FSBO, one we started out FSBO and switched to realtor when we moved, and the other was realtor. We are currently selling a house (rental) FSBO.

 

When we are/were doing FSBO, we've had some dishonest realtors try to get involved. I know they were working for the buyer, but that doesn't excuse the dishonest behavior. Most assumed we were dumb and tried to treat us like that. They were stunned when we called them on their dishonest practices, such as not depositing the deposit into escrow, hoping we wouldn't actually check to see if it was done. I went to the escrow office to check up on it. It wasn't there so the lady called the realtor. "She said she doesn't know why we can't find it, but she'll drop off another check from the buyer in an hour," the lady said as she rolled her eyes. Um, the escrow lady didn't believe her either!

 

I would not dismiss the house simply because the seller doesn't like realtors. He may have a good reason for it! Get recommendations for a real estate lawyer in the area (that you're willing to pay for 100%) and go from there. You'll have to do the legwork in getting inspections, etc., but it may be worth it for you.

[Trish]

If the man doesn't want to have a realtor to sell his house, he doesn't have to have one. If you really want a realtor to buy the house (for your benefit), it would make sense for YOU to pay the realtor, not him.