"There's nothing to eat".......(Am I being a horrible mother?)

[mykdsmomy]

I know the title is dramatic but I'm hoping to get some feedback from some of you wise mamas ;)

 

Ok, I typically go grocery shopping on Weds. evenings. This week, I did a short trip and only got about 1/3rd of what we needed for the week.

 

Aside from the new stuff I bought, we have some things on hand that can make quick lunches. Unfortunately, dd16 doesn't care for those items and pitched a fit because there wasn't anything to eat.

 

There were two slices of turkey left and I told her we could each have one slice to make our sandwich. I realize it's not much, but we have cheese, good sourdough bread, etc.....so it's not like it would be horrible. She declined because she wanted BOTH slices. She refused to eat the sandwich because she claims one slice wasn't going to be enough.

 

Then she goes on to complain how we have nothing to eat. I told her we have

*Mac n Cheese

*Grilled Cheese

*Quesadilla

*PB and J

* Tilapia filets (individual frozen)

*Can of PInto beans (she could make a b and c burrito)

*Crackers and cheese with some grapes/banana/oranges

 

She said she hates all of the above (except for the fish but she said she doesn't know how to make it :glare: and that it would taste like fish :glare: ) She's mad because we don't have ice (she likes to make smoothies). She then goes on to ask why I can't go to the store NOW? She then says "if there was nothing here you wanted to eat, you'd go to the store!"

 

Ok, now in her defense, I hate when we don't have any food here that I like to eat....but sometimes, that's life. I can't afford to buy them gourmet bread and deli lunch meat every day. She's very picky on what she'll eat and yet she claims she's not but that we never have any food (see above list). So what do you all think? (there are other things she could have had too like waffles/pancakes/cereal/toast....I know those are breakfast items but I'm trying to get her to see that there's a big difference between "no food" and "no food I want to eat". What say the hive?

[Miss Peregrine]

I usually list a few things that we do have and say, "That's more choices than anyone deserves" Then, disengage.

 

I would probably buy her a couple of ice cube trays, too.;)

[Elizabeth in WA]

I frequently give heartless responses after listing off what is available along the lines of either eat something we have or don't, but stop complaining.

[Night Elf]

She should make a list of the foods she wants and you could always make sure there is something from that list in the house. Note I didn't suggest you always supply her with everything. Then when she gets into one of those moods where she doesn't want anything from her acceptable list, you can honestly tell her that her mood isn't your fault or your problem to solve. She is responsible for her moods, not you. If she doesn't want what is in the house, she can choose not to eat.

 

My dd18 is like this. I know what she likes and I keep some of it in the house all the time. She just gets moody and decides she wants something we don't have. But, she has her own car and her own money now, so it's no longer a problem. :)

 

FWIW, I wouldn't have had a sandwich with just one slice of meat on it either. :tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

You're not a bad mom. She had plenty of choices. There was plenty of food to eat. She was just pitching a fit. I agree with not engaging any further.

[mom2bee]

I say you remind that child that in the time it took for her to pitch a fit, dozens of children and adults around the world starved to death from truly 'having nothing to eat" and no one willing and able to help them. She is 16 years old, not 16 months. :glare:

 

I have been to 3rd world countries and have seen people whither and die from starvation. She is being irresponsible and selfish and should get over herself. I have seen children get sick and starve because their bodies cant hold down nutrition and their parents couldn't afford to travel 3+ towns/cities and several days to get them looked at by capable doctors.

 

I have family right now that is in a 3rd world African country helping to save lives and even now, it isn't enough.

[Melinda in VT]

You are not being a horrible mother. At 16, she needs to grow up. ;)

 

And yes, we have had similar conversations a time or two with our kids.

[Frontier Mom]

No help here as I have a 10 year old dd just like that. So far she has managed to survive just fine so she must be finding something to eat. I really struggle with the entitlement my dcs have as things are just so easy to find now. When I grew up, my mom went to the grocery store on Friday and that was that. She cooked supper and we ate what she fixed. I don't remember every realizing I had an opinion in the matter.

 

Now, my dcs are not that way. It's like a restaurant around here now, as everyone wants something different. Guess what? I decided if they fix and clean it up themselves, they can fix something different as long as it isn't planned for supper and they use it up. So far it works OK. Yes, they moan but I don't hear a thing;-)

 

Oh, and at 16 I would have her read "The Hole in Our Gospel" if you are interested in giving her a worldly perspective. By the founder of World Vision, and definitely with cc, this book was eye opening to me in that he discusses just how rich we are in relation to the rest of the world. Oh, but don't tell her it has anything to do with her complaining. She will figure it out.

Edited March 25, 2011 by Frontier Mom

[Dawn in OH]

You are not a bad mom. You have food in the house. She's being picky and selfish. In addition, we often make smoothies without ice.

 

As someone else said, there are lots of people in the world that truly don't have anything to eat.

 

I remember being sixteen pretty well despite how long it's been. It's a very selfish, dramatic, and hormone filled age. I'm sure I was a hideous brat. She probably has no clue how rotten she is being right now.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

I would have fixed my sandwich with one piece of meat. A 16 year old can make her own lunch or go hungry.

 

There are times when we really don't have food to eat. My pantry is almost empty now. My teens are always more grateful after a few days of a "really" empty kitchen.

[DesertDweller]

When my kids do that, that get to hear about how I used to eat lettuce and cheese sandwiches or bread with butter and sugar because there was nothing else. I tell them that life is hard sometimes and they need to realize times can be tough but you make the best of it. Then, I would shrug and walk away. I think it's a good life lesson myself.

[gardening momma]

I know those are breakfast items but I'm trying to get her to see that there's a big difference between "no food" and "no food I want to eat". What say the hive?

Have her read this blog--Less is Enough. I can't remember the author's name (Rebecca Curry??), but she did a challenge where she only spent $1 a day for food for a month. It was very interesting. Because I don't know what she's up to now, here's an index of posts of her Dollar a Day Project.

 

ETA: I think it would be an interesting project to try some of the dishes she came up with, partly to see how much money it would save and partly to try new things/new combinations, even if it's not being done out of necessity.

Edited March 25, 2011 by gardening momma

[Joanne]

She's 16.

 

She can make herself something.

She can not eat.

She can get to the store/fast food place/whatever herself.

[Margo out of lurking]

Unfortunately, dd16 doesn't care for those items

 

This is your 16yo???:lol:

 

My 16yodd will often say we have nothing to eat. What she really means is, "No one is fixing me anything, so I don't want anything." :lol: Oh my goodness, these girls are hysterical!

 

I will respond regularly with, "What would you like us to have for dinner?" and "What would you like me to buy at the store for you?" She rarely (oh, so very rarely) ever comes up with ANY answer. Dh will sometimes feel sorry for her and fix her something; sometimes dd will convince ds to make her whatever he's having. She either won't eat, or she'll eat cereal, warm up leftovers, nuke a baked potato; it is unusual when she goes to any effort to really make something on her own. I long ago stopped giving her a list of what we have. She can see for herself.

 

In her defense, I have to say that there is also the rare occasion that she will make something for her and ds, or all of us. She really is a joy to be around; her complaints about food are more of a habit and almost a family joke (at least the rest of us are laughing). :001_smile:

 

You're definitely not being mean. YOU deserve that piece of meat; how kind of you to share! I wouldn't engage. I'm kind of glad I'm not the only mom of a 16yodd who sometimes reminds me of when she was 4!

[justamouse]

You're not a bad mom. She had plenty of choices. There was plenty of food to eat. She was just pitching a fit. I agree with not engaging any further.

:iagree::iagree:

 

It's not like you offered her nothing.

 

Look, my mom was a horrible cook. I learned to eat stuff I didn't love just because I was hungry. Now, I'm not saying that I hated everything, but even now our meals aren't centered around everything I love.

 

Sometimes you just have to eat because you're hungry, yanno?

[kitten18]

You're not a bad mom. She had plenty of choices. There was plenty of food to eat. She was just pitching a fit. I agree with not engaging any further.

:iagree: Plenty of choices.

[LizzyBee]

I am glad to hear my dd17 isn't the only one that throws a fit if it we don't have what she wants to eat. :tongue_smilie:

[mom2bee]

I'm a bit touchy about this topic, but I don't mean to be harsh or anything... It just bugs me how ignorant and unconcerned many American youth are about anyone who lives beyond the scope of their bathroom miror. (Not saying yous DD is any of these negative things. Clearly I don't know anything about her, and I'm sure that she is just a typical teen. I was a nightmare in my own way at that age of my life and I guess I still am in other ways right now.)

 

However I just wanted to add that this sounds like a good topic for a social studies/current events project also...

 

You could have her do an in-depth, long-term study on world hunger and living conditions in 3rd world countries throughout Africa, Asia, the Americas and other countries. She can write a paper, make a powerpoint presentation, watch documentaries, and come up with ideas for a global community service project, have her volunteer in a food bank/soup kitchen, etc. It would be great if she could present her projects to other people in the community. Comm. Center, Church, Family get togethers, Local events, Youtube, etc...

 

I'm sure you can fill the 'course' with enough assignments to count it as a credit if you want, and I'm sure a college would be interested to see such a unique project on a teenagers transcript.

[mothergooseof4]

Around here, this describes my 8yo. Breakfast and lunch are the kids' responsibility around here. I have cereal, homemade bread, pb, yogurt, fruit, presliced veggies, sliced turkey, cheese, whole wheat crackers, leftovers, etc. on hand that everyone can use to make their meal. Plus, my oldest offers to make eggs, sausage, baked chicken, baked fish, baked potatoes, etc. for everyone several times per week. My oldest and youngest are fine with this set up and I rarely hear anything out of them. My 8yo ds constantly complains though. I hear, "We never have anything to eat," so often that it drives me crazy. He has plenty to eat, it just isn't what he wants. What he wants though is junk: corndogs, fish sticks,chick nuggets, french fries, etc. I refuse to keep that stuff in my house.

 

When he complains, I tell him what we have and then that I am DONE. If he is hungry, he can pick something, but I will not be cooking him something or going to get anything and that any further complaining will result in being grounded to his room.

[Photo Ninja]

You are not a bad mother. You provided plenty of food. The problem is that she doesn't want to eat what you have provided. It is her problem, not yours. It sounds like she is more picky than she is hungry.

 

You can remind her of her choices:

 

She can eat one of the meals you suggested and provided.

She can make something different from the available foods.

She can skip the meal and not eat.

 

What she can NOT do is continue to pout, complain and blame. But don't blame yourself. She needs to come back to reality and regain perspective.

[Kim in Appalachia]

If my 16 year old acted like that I would probably laugh, tell her to go hungry, and then proceed to eat both pieces of turkey.:D (I am serious!)

 

You have plenty of food in the house. Those were a lot of options. We have days when the only option is PB&J or grilled cheese. My house is not a restaurant, and I don't feel the need to cater to everyones individual taste. And if my child said that I would buy would I like to eat, then I would reply that I do buy what I like and that's my privilege. When said child is grown, has a job, and does her own shopping she can buy what she wants.

[Rosie_0801]

My mum used to say something like "There's food there. Either cook it or starve." We have survived long enough to tell the tale.

 

Ask if she'd like you to give her the amount of money you usually spend on her food each week so she can shop for what she really wants. The rules are she gets her own shelf in the fridge and pantry. No one may eat her food, but she may not eat anyone else's either. She'll probably have a nice time for two days, if she gets past her dismay that the amount isn't larger. ;)

 

Rosie

[SonshineLearner]

At 16, I bought food that I wanted... I don't remember ever complaining about no food :)

[Crissy]

She said she hates all of the above (except for the fish but she said she doesn't know how to make it :glare: and that it would taste like fish :glare: ) She's mad because we don't have ice (she likes to make smoothies). She then goes on to ask why I can't go to the store NOW? She then says "if there was nothing here you wanted to eat, you'd go to the store!"

 

 

 

:blink:

 

So what do you all think?

 

I think it would be a very good thing my 16yo wasn't interested in the food I had to offer since he wouldn't be eating a single bite of it if he chose to speak to me this way.

[Mrs Mungo]

I think she can volunteer with a food pantry and/or we've food at a homeless shelter. She is taking what she has very much for granted.

[Brilliant]

FWIW, I wouldn't have had a sandwich with just one slice of meat on it either. :tongue_smilie:

 

Me, neither. I would have given her both slices in this instance, because, why would we both want to eat a meager sandwich? We frequently have "clean out the fridge" lunches and I will say, "Only enough lunch meat for one sandwich; someone else can have the leftover soup, and someone else can make a quesadilla."

 

But - although I would have handled that specific lunch a little differently, I definitely agree you gave her enough good choices.

[Beetkvass]

I think she's being ridiculous and you weren't at all unreasonable. I think it's important for kids to not be picky and demanding, including about food. I'd probably expect her to start buying some of the foods she insists she HAS to have herself.

[jenL]

I don't even put up with that behavior from my almost 8yo. In our house, you will like our choices or you will choose to go hungry. Of course, I always have something the family likes on hand, but if their mood suddenly becomes one that they don't like what we have, that is not my problem.

 

I agree with having her volunteer in a soup kitchen or to do a study on life in 3rd world countries. She's being very ungrateful for her blessings.

[mom2bee]

FWIW, I wouldn't have had a sandwich with just one slice of meat on it either. :tongue_smilie:

 

Me, neither.

 

Am I seriously the only one who didn't know that you could put 2 pieces of meat on a sandwich until I was about 17 or 18? We've always eaten only one slice on a sandwich...I know my dad ate 2 on occassion, but that was because he was "Dad" and had done a lot of physical work prior to lunch...

 

In this instance, I'd have eaten both slices... You know, the dog and the bone type deal. (While she was fighting shadows for more, she'd have lost it all...)

[RobinF]

We have had a day of rice at our house to help our children appreciate the fact that there are children all over the world that are "starving" or that "don't have anything to eat". Most in America are not in that situation. We are not in that situation and we don't allow our children to make those statements.

[Brilliant]

Am I seriously the only one who didn't know that you could put 2 pieces of meat on a sandwich until I was about 17 or 18? We've always eaten only one slice on a sandwich...I know my dad ate 2 on occassion, but that was because he was "Dad" and had done a lot of physical work prior to lunch...

 

 

We don't eat a lot of lunchmeat, so when we do, we want to be able to at least taste it. :)

[EthiopianFood]

I would have fixed my sandwich with one piece of meat. A 16 year old can make her own lunch or go hungry.

 

:iagree: My dd is three. She gets one, at most two, choices, and if she doesn't like them, then she must not be very hungry, not my problem.

[nd293]

As someone said - disengage. There is food in the house. There is varied food in the house. There is tasty food in the house. She is old enough to figure out what she wants to eat out of what is available, and to eat it. She is old enough to know how many people have so much less, and to be ashamed of complaining. I presume you have other odds and ends in the pantry too? Dd10 who doesn't like my "eat bread" version of lunch sometimes makes herself pancakes, she scrambles eggs, makes herself quesadillas or pasta. I am not interested in her whining - it doesn't always stop her complaining, but she knows it's not going to change my shopping list or plans!

[Joyofsixreboot]

My children always have two choices 1. Take it 2. Leave it. There's food and at some point you get hungry enough to eat it. It sounds harsh but when there are people who really have no choice it's spoiled to complain. You are free not to like it but don't complain.

[Lune]

Am I seriously the only one who didn't know that you could put 2 pieces of meat on a sandwich until I was about 17 or 18? We've always eaten only one slice on a sandwich...I know my dad ate 2 on occassion, but that was because he was "Dad" and had done a lot of physical work prior to lunch...

 

 

 

No, you're not the only one. :)

[kdeno]

no. I think you gave her a ton of choices and were very kind. :grouphug:

[Slartibartfast]

Am I seriously the only one who didn't know that you could put 2 pieces of meat on a sandwich until I was about 17 or 18? We've always eaten only one slice on a sandwich...I know my dad ate 2 on occassion, but that was because he was "Dad" and had done a lot of physical work prior to lunch...

 

 

 

I never make sandwiches with two slices of meat. I put veggies on a sandwich but only one slice of meat.

 

Sandwiches in our house have lettuce and tomatoes and then sometimes also bell peppers, cucumbers, and avocado but those usually depend on sales.

 

 

I guess if the meat was extremely thin but I just buy lunch meat at costco and those are plenty big enough for only one slice per sandwich.

[kchara]

By 16, I was working and buying and cooking most of my own food. Mostly, because my mom was a terrible cook. But, I still did it. I think you were more than reasonable.

[ElizabethB]

My last choice was always "or nothing," I had to say it for over a year before it sunk in.

 

My daughter kept asking why I kept saying that. I replied, "because nothing is also a choice."

 

I haven't had to say it lately, but will add it back to the list if need be!

 

("Cheerios, Wheaties, or nothing." "Noodles or nothing." Now that they're older, they usually have to look in the fridge and pantry themselves, I used to look and list for them. Now, I will only look for them occasionally.)

[LibraryLover]

People get cranky when they are hungry...or getting their period when there are no chips to be had. ;) I wouldn't consider this a huge deal. Nobody likes to be cranked at, so I think disengaging is the best thing to do. Along with a "I hate it when I am hungry for something and it's not around. It happens, we will both live. Don't be rude. Go make cookies." I guess I expect family members to feel a little more free to yammer at each other. Your family will love you even when you're a bit of a beast, right?

[justamouse]

Am I seriously the only one who didn't know that you could put 2 pieces of meat on a sandwich until I was about 17 or 18? We've always eaten only one slice on a sandwich...I know my dad ate 2 on occassion, but that was because he was "Dad" and had done a lot of physical work prior to lunch...

 

 

 

Come on'a My House. We have friends who bring in hand made Italian deli meats from NY, with fresh brick oven bread! Ohhh man.

 

A little fresh mozzerella, some roasted red peppers, a couple a slices sopresatta, a layer of Genoa salami, hot ham, some lettuce, and a good splash of balsamic vinegar? Or rosemary turkey with provolone and marinated artichokes?

 

No one slice here--pile it high and mangia!

[BeckyFL]

Yes, you are a horrible mother. You should have everything they want available at all times. You should also read minds and know that the thing they liked last week (so you bought extra) is something that they do not like at all now. Furthermore, you should be preparing everything for them so they never have to get up to get anything for themselves. What are you thinking? :D

[Truscifi]

"Oh...well, if you're not going to eat it..." then put the second slice on your sandwich and go enjoy your lunch.

 

I do prefer 2 slices on my sandwich, but I also eat whatever is available and don't complain. And I'd have been buying my own groceries in a heartbeat if I had said something like that to my mother at that age.

[Lovedtodeath]

I do not think she is being a selfish brat. I get in moods like that all of the time. Yes, it can be annoying and make it hard to stomach anything at times and even lower our blood sugar and at that point, well we can really lose emotional control.... so for the emotions she has my sympathy.

 

The thing is though, that we all have to deal with it when we get like that. I have a budget for food whether it comes to time for shopping, or money, or calories and I am already explaining that to my DD. None of us can just run to the store because we want something to eat that isn't in the house.

[merry gardens]

I know the title is dramatic but I'm hoping to get some feedback from some of you wise mamas ;)

 

Ok, I typically go grocery shopping on Weds. evenings. This week, I did a short trip and only got about 1/3rd of what we needed for the week.

 

Aside from the new stuff I bought, we have some things on hand that can make quick lunches. Unfortunately, dd16 doesn't care for those items and pitched a fit because there wasn't anything to eat.

 

There were two slices of turkey left and I told her we could each have one slice to make our sandwich. I realize it's not much, but we have cheese, good sourdough bread, etc.....so it's not like it would be horrible. She declined because she wanted BOTH slices. She refused to eat the sandwich because she claims one slice wasn't going to be enough.

 

Then she goes on to complain how we have nothing to eat. I told her we have

*Mac n Cheese

*Grilled Cheese

*Quesadilla

*PB and J

* Tilapia filets (individual frozen)

*Can of PInto beans (she could make a b and c burrito)

*Crackers and cheese with some grapes/banana/oranges

 

She said she hates all of the above (except for the fish but she said she doesn't know how to make it :glare: and that it would taste like fish :glare: ) She's mad because we don't have ice (she likes to make smoothies). She then goes on to ask why I can't go to the store NOW? She then says "if there was nothing here you wanted to eat, you'd go to the store!"

 

Ok, now in her defense, I hate when we don't have any food here that I like to eat....but sometimes, that's life. I can't afford to buy them gourmet bread and deli lunch meat every day. She's very picky on what she'll eat and yet she claims she's not but that we never have any food (see above list). So what do you all think? (there are other things she could have had too like waffles/pancakes/cereal/toast....I know those are breakfast items but I'm trying to get her to see that there's a big difference between "no food" and "no food I want to eat". What say the hive?

Some days, I give only two food choices: take it or leave it.:D

 

I get the complaints of "nothing to eat", and sometimes I find myself thinking the same thing when staring at a mostly full cupboard and/or refrigerator. How blessed we are to have all this "nothing" to eat, when in some parts of the world, nothing to eat really means there's nothing to eat.

[UmMusa]

I know the title is dramatic but I'm hoping to get some feedback from some of you wise mamas ;)

 

Ok, I typically go grocery shopping on Weds. evenings. This week, I did a short trip and only got about 1/3rd of what we needed for the week.

 

Aside from the new stuff I bought, we have some things on hand that can make quick lunches. Unfortunately, dd16 doesn't care for those items and pitched a fit because there wasn't anything to eat.

 

There were two slices of turkey left and I told her we could each have one slice to make our sandwich. I realize it's not much, but we have cheese, good sourdough bread, etc.....so it's not like it would be horrible. She declined because she wanted BOTH slices. She refused to eat the sandwich because she claims one slice wasn't going to be enough.

 

Then she goes on to complain how we have nothing to eat. I told her we have

*Mac n Cheese

*Grilled Cheese

*Quesadilla

*PB and J

* Tilapia filets (individual frozen)

*Can of PInto beans (she could make a b and c burrito)

*Crackers and cheese with some grapes/banana/oranges

 

She said she hates all of the above (except for the fish but she said she doesn't know how to make it :glare: and that it would taste like fish :glare: ) She's mad because we don't have ice (she likes to make smoothies). She then goes on to ask why I can't go to the store NOW? She then says "if there was nothing here you wanted to eat, you'd go to the store!"

 

Ok, now in her defense, I hate when we don't have any food here that I like to eat....but sometimes, that's life. I can't afford to buy them gourmet bread and deli lunch meat every day. She's very picky on what she'll eat and yet she claims she's not but that we never have any food (see above list). So what do you all think? (there are other things she could have had too like waffles/pancakes/cereal/toast....I know those are breakfast items but I'm trying to get her to see that there's a big difference between "no food" and "no food I want to eat". What say the hive?

I haven't read the replies, but it sounds like the girl was just hungry for a big lunch and couldn't find what she was hungry for. I feel the same way, too, at times. I think her outburst was something normal for a teenager, especially with/to her mama. I'm sure she knew it wasn't nice, but do we always act 100% nice? No. She just had to let it out, and I'm sure y'all have moved on from there. In her defense, you didn't get the 'normal' load of groceries, so she felt especially limited. Is she normally a good girl? If y'all don't have respect and behavior issues, then I'd just tell her that you didn't appreciate her throwing a fit, and that she should try to hold it together better next time.

[JFSinIL]

I remind the kids that I am not running a restaurant.

[mykdsmomy]

Thank you all so much for the replies :) I think her food complaints are just one in a long line of entitled (for lack of a better word) behavior. She is a very good girl and I'm so proud of her for so many things......but she is very opinionated (and lets us (mostly me) know her opinions even when they are unsolicited).

I know much of it is her age....but she also "prides" herself on not being a typical teenager ....she is constantly pointing out how other teens act so self centered, etc (irony meet dd ;) )

 

She is also our oldest and tends to try to act more like she's the parent at times. She doesn't like to be told what to do, etc. She likes to tell me how I should cook, clean, shop, etc. :001_huh:

 

DH has a section of our living room that he hasn't had a chance to finish laying laminate flooring on.....so it's bare concrete that I had laid area rugs over to cover it. Well, our sweet puppy (bless her heart...and sense the sarcasm) has been peeing on the carpets so I decided to lay down some vinyl tile for now so it's at least a surface I can wipe down. DD was horrified at what I was doing. She said "Why are you doing that....that's so tacky.....we could use that money for something else". :glare:

I wound up telling her that if she didn't like it, she is more than welcome to buy some different flooring . To be honest, I'm usually more gentle and democratic when it comes to parenting....but I'm just so done with her disrespect :( (sorry for another vent).....but thanks again for all the great responses :)

 

ps. I went grocery shopping tonight....but I didn't get lunch meat. I went to Target (with the grocery store) but she doesn't like the regular deli meat...it HAS to be from the deli counter....oy!

[Mom in High Heels]

Seriously? There was plenty to eat. Believe me, I'm a picky eater (extremely so), but if I'm hungry enough I can find something to eat. Indy (8) will come to me sometimes and ask if he can have a snack and I'll give him several choices. He'll often say he "doesn't want" any of that. I tell him that he isn't very hungry then and obviously doesn't really need to eat. I would have told her that if she were hungry enough she'd find something and walk away.