Have you ever felt you were at the "burn-out" point?

[Audrey]

What did you do about it?

 

Please. I'm feeling like I'm on the edge of throwing in the towel. It has nothing at all to do with my son. He does his lessons, tries his best. We all have good and bad days, but he tries and he doesn't give me attitude about it.

 

I think this feeling has to do with everything else I have to do. I. am. overwhelmed. to. the. breaking. point.

 

The thing is... I can't really quit the other things. Simply put, we need the income. My dh tries to pitch in around the house, but he has a lot on his plate, too. Every time I sit down to do my lesson planning, I feel like I'm going to blow a gasket. I could be doing a ton of other work in the inordinate amount of time it takes to do the lesson plans. I dread having to sit down to them. I do them on Sundays, and yesterday, when I did them, I thought the most horrible things about having to do it. I thought about how no one else in my IRL life homeschools, and how I could just send him to town school. I know it's a joke there, but he'd be just like every other kid and wouldn't have the kids staring at him when he does his 4-H speech on why learning Latin is fun and useful. Maybe that's something that just stuck in my craw this past week, too.

 

I'm rambling now. Just tell me how you got over your worst point.

[Nakia]

No answers because I am at that point too. Between my job, my photography business, church obligations, the housework, taking care of animals, my husband, the kids, and homeschooling, I feel like I'm losing it. And my attitude seems to be high on the suck level right now. I know that affects the kids' attitudes as well. I'm struggling to keep going.

 

You are not alone, Audrey. I hope you get some good advice.

:grouphug:

[Plucky]

My very worst point? My dh did decide we would send the kids to school. I was a burnt out mess. I put the books away for a couple of weeks or maybe a little longer. My 4 kids were 8 and under. It didn't hurt them and I was able to gather my wits around me and tell dh I was still going to homeschool. Whew, sometimes a break does wonders.

[Murphy101]

:grouphug:

 

No sage advice. If I know I am doing the best I can and it is working out for the student, I just keep swimming along....

:grouphug:

[Spy Car]

What did you do about it?

 

Please. I'm feeling like I'm on the edge of throwing in the towel. It has nothing at all to do with my son. He does his lessons, tries his best. We all have good and bad days, but he tries and he doesn't give me attitude about it.

 

I think this feeling has to do with everything else I have to do. I. am. overwhelmed. to. the. breaking. point.

 

The thing is... I can't really quit the other things. Simply put, we need the income. My dh tries to pitch in around the house, but he has a lot on his plate, too. Every time I sit down to do my lesson planning, I feel like I'm going to blow a gasket. I could be doing a ton of other work in the inordinate amount of time it takes to do the lesson plans. I dread having to sit down to them. I do them on Sundays, and yesterday, when I did them, I thought the most horrible things about having to do it. I thought about how no one else in my IRL life homeschools, and how I could just send him to town school. I know it's a joke there, but he'd be just like every other kid and wouldn't have the kids staring at him when he does his 4-H speech on why learning Latin is fun and useful. Maybe that's something that just stuck in my craw this past week, too.

 

I'm rambling now. Just tell me how you got over your worst point.

 

There are less than 24 hours left in this (seemly accursed) month. Hang in there, tomorrow is another day. And another month.

 

In March things will look up!

 

Bill

[Plucky]

What did you do about it?

 

Please. I'm feeling like I'm on the edge of throwing in the towel. It has nothing at all to do with my son. He does his lessons, tries his best. We all have good and bad days, but he tries and he doesn't give me attitude about it.

 

I think this feeling has to do with everything else I have to do. I. am. overwhelmed. to. the. breaking. point.

 

The thing is... I can't really quit the other things. Simply put, we need the income. My dh tries to pitch in around the house, but he has a lot on his plate, too. Every time I sit down to do my lesson planning, I feel like I'm going to blow a gasket. I could be doing a ton of other work in the inordinate amount of time it takes to do the lesson plans. I dread having to sit down to them. I do them on Sundays, and yesterday, when I did them, I thought the most horrible things about having to do it. I thought about how no one else in my IRL life homeschools, and how I could just send him to town school. I know it's a joke there, but he'd be just like every other kid and wouldn't have the kids staring at him when he does his 4-H speech on why learning Latin is fun and useful. Maybe that's something that just stuck in my craw this past week, too.

 

I'm rambling now. Just tell me how you got over your worst point.

 

Audrey, why does it take you so long to do lesson plans?

[secular_mom]

Whenever I find myself grumping and feeling obligated to do something that isn't bringing me joy, I simply stop doing that thing. How about letting kiddo have a go at the books without mom scheduling the lessons for him? Just explain that you need a break but he can keep up with the studies.

Just let go of whatever is bringing you ickiness, take the break that you need so you can regroup. Some things you can NOT let go- like your job(s). Can you claim one space as your own, and have it 'just-so' as place you can go to for relaxation? Don't worry about the rest of it, it will still be there later when you feel like dealing with it.

[Cinder]

For me switching from a labor-intensive program to something a bit on the light side helped. It was enough to give me a bit of a "rest." We only did core subjects: math, English (dropped spelling and vocab so it was mostly grammar and reading), history (the big program change was in this subject), science. I tried to use programs that would get the job done but not require as much of my time. History and science were a bit on the light side but I was ok with that. This year we're able to send ds to a small, private school for a couple subjects; that has also been quite helpful.

 

I hope you find a good solution for your family. :grouphug:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Audrey, why does it take you so long to do lesson plans?

 

Is there something that could be cut out or streamlined in the leson planning?

 

Are you writing actual assignments or transcribing assignments from a book to something the kids' use?

 

Is your ds old enough to do some of his own planning. For example, could he rough out a week's schedule for you to check over? At least to the extent that it involves writing down lesson numbers on a checklist or something similar.

[LibraryLover]

I kind of feel like that right now, right down to the job.

 

My sil says the girls & I can stay with her in FL for a mini retreat. We're planning to drive down in a couple of weeks. That will help on the break part, but not the money part.

 

Or the 'your kid is rather odd" part. I don;t get too much of that, but when youngest opens her mouth, I do get raised eyebrows from some. "How old is she again? " She's sort of an old person in a kid body.

Edited February 28, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Sahamamama]

It has nothing at all to do with my son. He does his lessons, tries his best. We all have good and bad days, but he tries and he doesn't give me attitude about it.

 

I can't really quit the other things. I could be doing a ton of other work in the inordinate amount of time it takes to do the lesson plans. I dread having to sit down to them.

 

No sage advice here, just two thoughts. One, based on what you wrote, your son is an asset, not a liability. If he had a bad attitude towards his school work, on top of everything that is draining you, then I would say, Go ahead and send him to school. But... he is not like that. He is 11 or 12 years old now? If you think about his attitude, his cooperative spirit, in light of his age, you will see that this is something for which to be thankful.

 

Second point: You have to do that other stuff, but... your son may be able to help you. What can he learn to do? What can he take off your plate? If he were mine, and I had laundry on my plate (for example), I would attach him to me with a bungee cord and haul him around on chores. He would soon learn all I know about doing laundry, and then I would hand it over to him. If I had household trash, or cleaning the bathroom, or vacuuming the carpet, or making the beds, or dusting the furniture, or getting the mail, or making a salad, or taking care of pets/animals... anything like that on my plate would be transferred ASAP to his plate (within reason, of course).

 

One task at a time, teach him and guide him and then let him have that task as his own responsibility. Would this work, do you think, or is the stuff on your plate all stuff that he couldn't help out with? There has got to be something you could delegate to your son... something worth your while in training and teaching him to manage it.

 

The returns on this investment are great, according to my mother, who took this approach with me. I was practically running the household by the time I was fourteen -- laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping (my dad would drop me off and pick me up, and yes, I did it all by myself), and even painting room after room. I mowed the lawn, I washed the cars, I repaved the driveway. I even did my grandmother's haircuts. ;)

 

All good stuff to know how to do. I'm 44 and my parents still say how much they miss having me around the house, LOL. :D If your son is respectful and responsible with school work, he's ready to shoulder responsibilities that really help the family. HTH.

[LibraryLover]

I'm sure you didn't let a Neopets Pet Application can count for a writing assignment...which I did. That took no planning on my part, and bought me some extra time to whine about the cold.

[Murphy101]

There are less than 24 hours left in this (seemly accursed) month. Hang in there, tomorrow is another day. And another month.

 

In March things will look up!

 

Bill

 

This too!

 

Seriously. I really feel a desperate depressing need to hibernate from thanksgiving until at least valentines day or st pats.

[Linda1951]

lower grades to me where less of a hassle than high school. I get headaches doing lesson plans for high school. I am so ready to be over with it.

take a week off. Do a lesson a day plan, I know me doing a week at a time confuses me.

Elementary should not take more than a few hours a day. Even junior high , the child should be doing most of the work themselves.

Hope things work out. We have all been in your spot.

[justamouse]

All the time, especially this time of year.

[....]

Can you take a month off from school? We have done this several times. We usually end up taking the entire December off from school. It can really make a huge difference.

 

:grouphug:

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

Paper plates. A less clean house. More home ec. (As in, children doing more chores.)

 

He sounds like a great kid. You just need more geeky friends. When my husband worked at RAND for a year, everyone thought it was great I was teaching the kids Latin!! One of my husband's co-workers was teaching himself Latin. (RAND is a think tank.)

[CalicoKat]

:grouphug: no advice. Even after spending the weekend with my niece who's the same age as my dd and seeing the difference between the two girls. And even though I recognize those differences as products of peer socialization vs. a homeschooler who is socializes with a variety of aged folks, hence reasons to continue homeschooling. I still can't bounce out of this "throw in the towel" feeling.

 

It's February?

 

It's cabin fever?

 

It that time of the month?

 

It's to be expected and I just need to push through it?

 

I guess I just don't even want to be motivated. I just want to lay in my bed with a pillow over my head and ignore everything and everyone.

[Amy in NH]

Why are you lesson planning at all? Have your ds do one lesson per day in each of his subjects. If you need to keep records for the state, have him record it each day as he does it. Problem solved.

 

I felt very burnt out around my 7th year homeschooling. We did "homeschooling-lite" or "reading-days" a lot that year. I chose the books - they did the reading. A couple hours per day and we called it school. I know there has been a lot of chatter here lately about making sure your children get a rigorous academic program. We had one before that year, and we do again now. They weren't permanently damaged by having a light schedule for a month or two during one year. My advice: Cut yourself a break and devote some time to having your ds help you with the housework and other things that are piling up and causing you stress.

[KristinaBreece]

:grouphug: no advice. Even after spending the weekend with my niece who's the same age as my dd and seeing the difference between the two girls. And even though I recognize those differences as products of peer socialization vs. a homeschooler who is socializes with a variety of aged folks, hence reasons to continue homeschooling. I still can't bounce out of this "throw in the towel" feeling.

 

It's February?

 

It's cabin fever?

 

It that time of the month?

 

It's to be expected and I just need to push through it?

 

I guess I just don't even want to be motivated. I just want to lay in my bed with a pillow over my head and ignore everything and everyone.

 

:iagree:

Yes please. I am currently locked in the bathroom for a 5-minute reprieve. And we're not "really" HS yet. Mine are 2 & 4. I think maybe I should just give up now.... because what am I going to do when they're older?!

[jazzyfizzle]

I feel your pain Audrey, and you have been doing this a lot longer than I. To tell you the truth, I just started cutting things. We are not doing 4-H this coming year, I am not advising 4-H dog group this year. I had to just start slashing, I felt (feel) beyond overwhelmed. It was a difficult thing to tell friends and advisors, but I felt a huge weight lift off of me as soon as I sent the message.

I know you are very environmentally conscious, like I am, but I had to break down and use some paper plates and (:sad:) styrofoam for right now.

I cut meals down to simple affairs, nothing elaborate for now. I am even placing a couple of our dogs to loving families.

When you have a good amount of outside chores, it really adds to the daily grind.

It is tough right now. Like Bill said, wait just a couple days, spring is almost here.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[prairiebird]

I am too. I was just about to make a post asking if there was something in the water or something on TV recently because my extended family and my in-laws have all started drilling me on sending my kids back to school next year.

 

It's bad because we are in an area where most families are either conservative Christian or in a much higher socio-economic class than I am. I have no support and no friends in the area. And I am falling behind on the the natural science areas and conservation areas I really wanted the kids to learn because we spend so much time with grammar and math and history. It makes me question a lot of things.

 

 

Maybe it's just February. But maybe it's a sign. I don't know, but everyone is telling me never to make major homeschooling decisions in a February :lol:.

[JenniferB]

A few Febs. ago I switched to K12. All the lesson plans are done. You just click and print the weekly plan, or you can just follow it on the screen. It has helped me for the last few years. I might tweek it up a big next year and do something a little different. It does save time though to not have to plan and type, etc. I also like the curriculum. It's high quality.

[regentrude]

Ditch lesson planning. Why is that necessary at all?

We work as far as we get in whatever materials we use in whatever time we have allotted to it. I should add: in whatever subjects the kids choose to do that day. It averages out over the months- as long as everybody works enough hours every day and gets gentle reminders about neglected subjects every once in a while.

[Mejane]

I'll just say it: screw the lesson plans. Control what you can control. Cut back and do the bare minimum for a month and see if you don't feel it ease. Have ds do lots of reading and some math. Take that time you would've done Latin and history to just hang with him and have some fun. Let the housework slide a bit (yes, you can! ;)) and keep meals simple.

 

I wish I were closer; I'd take you to lunch and we could kvetch. :) For now, here's a big :grouphug:. Remember, this too shall pass!

[Audrey]

Audrey, why does it take you so long to do lesson plans?

 

 

It takes a couple of hours or more to translate the texts and etc into lesson plans for each day. I have to write it all out in a decent amount of detail because dh plays teacher at least one and lately two days a week. He needs direction in order to understand where we are in the lessons, and that is especially true with the Latin lessons because he is just learning it alongside ds.

[Audrey]

For me switching from a labor-intensive program to something a bit on the light side helped. It was enough to give me a bit of a "rest." We only did core subjects: math, English (dropped spelling and vocab so it was mostly grammar and reading), history (the big program change was in this subject), science. I tried to use programs that would get the job done but not require as much of my time. History and science were a bit on the light side but I was ok with that. This year we're able to send ds to a small, private school for a couple subjects; that has also been quite helpful.

 

I hope you find a good solution for your family. :grouphug:

 

 

I don't want to change programs. This is what really works for ds. It does require more time from me, but the other things we tried just sucked the joy of learning out of him. He's thriving academically with OM.

 

That said.... there are the extra subjects that could go... for a while.

[prairiebird]

Ditch lesson planning. Why is that necessary at all?

We work as far as we get in whatever materials we use in whatever time we have allotted to it. I should add: in whatever subjects the kids choose to do that day. It averages out over the months- as long as everybody works enough hours every day and gets gentle reminders about neglected subjects every once in a while.

 

 

I don't know if she has any tendencies toward OCD like I do, but I would love to have the ability to not plan! I can't do it. I wish I could. I actually envisioned that for us when we first started homeschooling. I couldn't afford any complete curriculum (nor did I want to just go with one) but now what I do is plan out 8 weeks at a time with each kid's subject or book they're reading. I have to have that page that tells me: Saxon math 5/4 sections blah blah this week. I must have the folder with all their pages set out. I have to have all the materials for whatever their labs will be all put in a box ahead of time. I honestly could not see myself being able to homeschool the kids without it. I plan a 4 day week to make it flexible for random days, but it works really well for me. Otherwise, I'd be planning out things every Sunday night for hours too and going nuts by doing it. And if we don't get it all done (or go ahead) it's still all written down so I can just add to it.

 

I hope things go better for you. It might just be seasonal Blahs, but I think people sometimes downplay legitimate burnout. (Not directed to anyone on this thread since I only read a few responses, but the homeschooling community in general.) Telling me to take a week off to relax and let the kids to what they wanted would just make me more anxious. Telling me to take a week off to let the kids do what they want while I worked on a new binder/box/organizational system to implement would do me wonders.

[Audrey]

Is there something that could be cut out or streamlined in the leson planning?

 

Are you writing actual assignments or transcribing assignments from a book to something the kids' use?

 

Is your ds old enough to do some of his own planning. For example, could he rough out a week's schedule for you to check over? At least to the extent that it involves writing down lesson numbers on a checklist or something similar.

 

 

He is 11 (grade 6/7). You make a good point. I should be teaching him to do his own planning.

 

Any advice on how to do that?

[Audrey]

No sage advice here, just two thoughts. One, based on what you wrote, your son is an asset, not a liability. If he had a bad attitude towards his school work, on top of everything that is draining you, then I would say, Go ahead and send him to school. But... he is not like that. He is 11 or 12 years old now? If you think about his attitude, his cooperative spirit, in light of his age, you will see that this is something for which to be thankful.

 

Second point: You have to do that other stuff, but... your son may be able to help you. What can he learn to do? What can he take off your plate? If he were mine, and I had laundry on my plate (for example), I would attach him to me with a bungee cord and haul him around on chores. He would soon learn all I know about doing laundry, and then I would hand it over to him. If I had household trash, or cleaning the bathroom, or vacuuming the carpet, or making the beds, or dusting the furniture, or getting the mail, or making a salad, or taking care of pets/animals... anything like that on my plate would be transferred ASAP to his plate (within reason, of course).

 

One task at a time, teach him and guide him and then let him have that task as his own responsibility. Would this work, do you think, or is the stuff on your plate all stuff that he couldn't help out with? There has got to be something you could delegate to your son... something worth your while in training and teaching him to manage it.

 

The returns on this investment are great, according to my mother, who took this approach with me. I was practically running the household by the time I was fourteen -- laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping (my dad would drop me off and pick me up, and yes, I did it all by myself), and even painting room after room. I mowed the lawn, I washed the cars, I repaved the driveway. I even did my grandmother's haircuts. ;)

 

All good stuff to know how to do. I'm 44 and my parents still say how much they miss having me around the house, LOL. :D If your son is respectful and responsible with school work, he's ready to shoulder responsibilities that really help the family. HTH.

 

 

I agree, he is definitely not a liability. He is a good kid. He is a good homeschool student. It is NOT about him. It is MY weakness.

[Audrey]

:grouphug:

 

Paper plates. A less clean house. More home ec. (As in, children doing more chores.)

 

He sounds like a great kid. You just need more geeky friends. When my husband worked at RAND for a year, everyone thought it was great I was teaching the kids Latin!! One of my husband's co-workers was teaching himself Latin. (RAND is a think tank.)

 

 

Sometimes I think I just need to feel like I'm not the only homeschooler in the province. Realistically speaking, I know I'm not, but the isolation can be difficult sometimes.

[Audrey]

I'll just say it: screw the lesson plans. Control what you can control. Cut back and do the bare minimum for a month and see if you don't feel it ease. Have ds do lots of reading and some math. Take that time you would've done Latin and history to just hang with him and have some fun. Let the housework slide a bit (yes, you can! ;)) and keep meals simple.

 

I wish I were closer; I'd take you to lunch and we could kvetch. :) For now, here's a big :grouphug:. Remember, this too shall pass!

 

 

But I need to control it all. :o

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Is there something that could be cut out or streamlined in the leson planning?

 

Are you writing actual assignments or transcribing assignments from a book to something the kids' use?

 

Is your ds old enough to do some of his own planning. For example, could he rough out a week's schedule for you to check over? At least to the extent that it involves writing down lesson numbers on a checklist or something similar.

 

:grouphug::iagree:I think there may be ways to find curricula that is less teacher intensive and still rigorous. Is that an option for you to help give you a break? I also would not feel bad if you ever decided that ds needed to attend school for your peace of mind.:grouphug:

 

One thing to look forward to is tomorrow is March 1st:D

[ElizabethB]

He is 11 (grade 6/7). You make a good point. I should be teaching him to do his own planning.

 

Any advice on how to do that?

 

I personally have no idea. But, I am sure the hive does.

 

Start a new thread asking for how to teach planning advice. I am sure you will get way more how to teach planning ideas than you can implement.

[Audrey]

I personally have no idea. But, I am sure the hive does.

 

Start a new thread asking for how to teach planning advice. I am sure you will get way more how to teach planning ideas than you can implement.

 

 

Excellent suggestion. I will do that!

[Christy B]

:grouphug:

 

Right there with ya.

[susancollins]

Audrey,

I am feeling the same way you are. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Just know you are not alone. I just keep telling myself things will get better and the school year is almost over!!

[Halcyon]

I hear you.

Today we did no work at all which is HUGE for me, and went to the zoo for the day. Then we went to Cold Stone and got two huge sundaes for the boys because they cooperated at the zoo so well. Then we went to the YMCA and I worked out for an hour and a half. Then the boys played Battleship for an hour while I surfed the net. Now they're in bed.

 

I think I might have to do this more often. :tongue_smilie:

[Halcyon]

But I need to control it all. :o

 

 

 

Don't we all?? :lol::lol::lol: Right there with you Audrey.

[Mommyfaithe]

I'll just say it: screw the lesson plans. Control what you can control. Cut back and do the bare minimum for a month and see if you don't feel it ease. Have ds do lots of reading and some math. Take that time you would've done Latin and history to just hang with him and have some fun. Let the housework slide a bit (yes, you can! ;)) and keep meals simple.

 

I wish I were closer; I'd take you to lunch and we could kvetch. :) For now, here's a big :grouphug:. Remember, this too shall pass!

 

:iagree: yep...to heck with the stink in' plans. When I started working with dh, I needed to find lots of do the next thing and lots of "instructions included" stuff. I can either plan OR homeschool. There is just not enough time to do both well. We do reading, math and la daily. Everything else is extra....and I am surprised how much extra we can fit when I am not stressed out about the mandatory.

 

Be nice to yourself! Homeschooling is hard. If it was easy, everyone could do it. :D.

 

Wine and chocolate wishes. :grouphug:

Faith

[keptwoman]

Ug, I really am there too. As a matter of fact, I've been there for 6 months now, and 2 of those months we took off completely, I barely even looked at planning or curricula. And yet, at the beginning of a school year, I'm still burnt out. So very much no help here.

 

However, I can tell you how I schedule Latin Prep, and it took me about an hour one day to do up the spreadsheet that kiddo just ticks as he does each day.

 

The spreadsheet has the days numbered down the side, 1-20 (or whatever) and in his diary he notes which day he did and on the sheet he ticks it.

It has 3 columns, chanting, vocab and exercise. I invested in the Latin vocab cards, they are handy!

Each day he has a set conjugation and/or declension to chant, a set of vocab to do, and an exercise either in the text or in the WB.

At the moment it's the start of a new year, so we are reviewing vocab, chanting and doing a bit of revision before we hit the spreadsheet again.

[StephanieZ]

Sure, I've been there. . .

 

Things that help:

 

- trying to take it as easy as possible

- taking some days off altogether from schooling

- dropping the mom-draining curricula for a few weeks or altogether

- dropping anything that is not TRULY imperative outside of the most vital things in my life (kids, dh, income). This includes volunteer stuff, being a great friend stuff, cleaning, house projects, fancy dinners, etc.

- simplifying meals/household/etc as much as possible. Pasta & pesto with frozen veggies will not kill us a few times a week for a while. Nor will mac & cheese. Or pancakes for dinner. Truly. Floors can go w/o mopping for a while.

 

Most importantly, but these will sound impossible, but I truly believe they are the most important to me:

 

- taking time for myself. However it is, but something that nourishes your soul. Exercise (see below) works for me, but if not that, then at least a glass of wine & a bubble bath, or a silly movie (with no laptop and in a dark room on the couch). . .

- exercise: I now run. It saves my sanity. Yoga, running, walking. . . anything to move your body in a peaceful place/space is so good for your head. This has become vital to me. I now run, walk, yoga. . . you name it. Most important hour(s) of my day. An hour spent running makes me such a better person the other 23.

Edited March 1, 2011 by StephanieZ

[muffinmom]

I have been in a similar situation at times. What I do is to cut out what can be cut out, whether it be subjects that can be put on hold, or extracurricular activities that can wait, or social activities. My friend calls this "circling the wagons." Sometimes you just have to draw in for a while, get renewed, and then find your way back out when you are ready.

 

The other thing I think is critical is to check the "basics"--am I drinking enough water, eating nutritious food, getting good and enough sleep, making some time to at least take a walk or other exercise, breathing deeply and relaxing a bit. Those are things that are critical to maintaining energy and well-being, but most people blow them off.

 

Please take care of yourself! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[KathyBC]

Is there a homeschool convention this year within say, a half day's drive? Although I suppose that would just put one more thing on your plate.

[Hedgehog]

I seem to burn out quite easily, so I've tried to apply these minimalist principles to our lives: 1) do we need this (activity, outing, even friendship...)? 2) do we really love it (as above, you fill the gap)? If not, it goes. Life is too short, y'know? Even then, we can overload, so then it's a question of priorities. I've long realised that I don't have much energy (health problems) and I have 4 dc to love, raise, and teach so there's only so much we can do.

 

Re teaching your ds to plan, it's like most other things really. Show him how you do it, hand-hold him doing it, watch him do it alone, have him do it by himself and then check it with you, finally he can do it entirely independently. DD11 has her own diary; she uses my master schedule on Excel to write down what she needs to do on any given day, and mostly gets it done without needing to be reminded. DD9 has daily planner sheets that she needs to check off and bring to me with her work at the end of the day. Most days it works out, which I figure is better than it used to be! HTH!

[Alyeska]

:grouphug:

I was at that point too a couple years ago.

 

The first thing I did was to call my church and tell them I would no longer be doing the accounting and they had 2 weeks to find a replacement. I was no longer going to help with Sunday school or any other church activities, and I was going to warm a bench for awhile. :)

 

Secondly, I did a major declutter of my house while we took a week off of school. This helps me tremendously because I get visually overwhelmed. I can be doing nothing but sitting in a cluttered room and STILL feel overwhelmed.

 

Third, I delegated things that could reasonably be delegated.

 

Fourth, paper plates and cups. I used this tactic for about a month until I felt I could add dishes back into the mix.

 

And lastly, I figured out about 20 EASY dinners I could cook that required little prep...lots of crock pot stuff like chili and stew, grilled sandwiches and chips, tacos...that sort of thing.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

He is 11 (grade 6/7). You make a good point. I should be teaching him to do his own planning.

 

Any advice on how to do that?

 

One thing I've been working on is to teach them how to read the assignment schedule that comes with our curriculum (when we're doing Sonlight weeks). They had to learn to find the week and day we were on and read down the column to all the subject areas that we cover, then read those pages/chapters and do those activity pages/experiments.

 

I did need to do frequent spot checks to make sure that they stayed on track. For example, I might find out at the end of the week that they hadn't been able to locate a book, so they had skipped a week's reading. That got them extra reading over the weekend to catch up.

 

What it allowed me to do was just put a reference to the curriculum week (ie, History: Sonlight week 17, Science: Sonlight week 24) instead of rewriting the whole assignment (in other words, I don't list the books and pages, I refer them to the Sonlight schedule for this).

 

If I'm making a book substitution, I write it on the Sonlight schedule in pencil.

 

But I'm still working on refining this to put more and more of the responsibility on them. (SWB's audio on teaching students to work independently is good on discussing the different levels of involvement and how to move to more self direction. It especially reminded me not to move away too precipitously.)

 

One other idea is to take a long day and plan a bigger chunk so you had more planning out of the way. Sort of a pay it forward approach.

[DawnM]

We went to more workbooks! I vowed when I started hsing to not do a lot of workbookish type stuff. I balked at programs like Abeka and Lifepacs thinking they surely weren't teaching the BEST way possible.

 

But you know what? Learning something is better than mommy burnout and learning nothing.

 

So, last year we did a lot of CLE. It wasn't a huge hit, but it gave ME what I needed!

 

This year, the two older sons are more able to do things on their own, even the non-workbook items, but with one son with some LD issues, it isn't 100% on his own.

 

There were days I even thought of getting BJU DVDs. The only thing holding me back was the cost and the concern that they would hate it and then I would really be out some $$.

 

I also gave up the "super homeschool mom" mentality that made me feel like a failure. I sometimes serve premade food! :lol: Or I make simple meals (rice popped into the rice cooker, a quick salad or vegetable, and a grilled meat.)

 

I have to simplify or I lose it.

Dawn

[jujsky]

What did you do about it?

 

Please. I'm feeling like I'm on the edge of throwing in the towel. It has nothing at all to do with my son. He does his lessons, tries his best. We all have good and bad days, but he tries and he doesn't give me attitude about it.

 

I think this feeling has to do with everything else I have to do. I. am. overwhelmed. to. the. breaking. point.

 

The thing is... I can't really quit the other things. Simply put, we need the income. My dh tries to pitch in around the house, but he has a lot on his plate, too. Every time I sit down to do my lesson planning, I feel like I'm going to blow a gasket. I could be doing a ton of other work in the inordinate amount of time it takes to do the lesson plans. I dread having to sit down to them. I do them on Sundays, and yesterday, when I did them, I thought the most horrible things about having to do it. I thought about how no one else in my IRL life homeschools, and how I could just send him to town school. I know it's a joke there, but he'd be just like every other kid and wouldn't have the kids staring at him when he does his 4-H speech on why learning Latin is fun and useful. Maybe that's something that just stuck in my craw this past week, too.

 

I'm rambling now. Just tell me how you got over your worst point.

 

I'd take a week off. I've done it before, and though it kills me to take an unscheduled week (I am a planner and obsessively schedule-driven) it has been the best thing for me and the best thing for my kids in the long-run. Also, if lesson planning is the thing that's dragging you down, can you switch to a complete curriculum next year? I really don't have any/much lesson planning or prep. I grabbed from here & there during pre-school and the lesson-planning involved was such a huge time-suck for me that I decided on only doing a complete curriculum & I haven't looked back. It's more money, but it saves me so much time that it's worth it to me.

[Cindy in C-ville]

Audrey, I haven't read through all the other comments, but I DEFINITELY understand what you're feeling. If you, hang in there. The grass is NOT, and I repeat NOT greener on the other side. I know b/c I've BTDT. So, here are my two suggestions for weathering the burn-out:

 

1. Take a Spring Break NOW. Don't use the week to plan homeschool. Read, relax, do whatever is fun for you and your family.

2. After Spring Break, drop the lesson planning. Just do the next thing in each of the curricula that you are using. If something in your curriculum requires that you plan, just drop it for the rest of the school year. Stick with math, Latin, history reading and writing, and science reading and journaling.

 

Hang in there!