Caitilin Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I don't think any of this is funny anymore. I find this woman pathetic and sad...and her kids are going to pay the price for her manipulations. :mad: This is pretty much how I have been feeling about this too. I feel REALLY bad for her children at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Yes, the truth is stranger than fiction... Monday I sat alone as the coach runs into the room in a hurry as usual. She finds (probably premeditated) a poor victim mom sitting alone reading, and whispers something to her. The lady nods sweetly and the three kids are shooed to her. :lol: The kids tried to come to me a couple of times but I just ran them back to the lady, who smiles sheepishly and said their sitter backed out at the last minute so they're supposed to be sitting with her. :svengo:Then she took them out to the playground. Today I was in the very back corner visiting with the director. The coach runs in and without a word shoos the kids to the same lady, who looked quite stunned. I laughed, pointed it out to the director, and told her what happened on Monday. She turned a pretty shade of purple, walked over to talk to the victim, and then took off to the back. About 15 minutes later the coach walked out, picked up her kids and left. If I were a betting person I'd put all my money on having a new coach next week... :leaving: :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Words fail me. I cannot believe the nerve of some people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 O. My. Word. Unbelievable..... I will have to stay tuned for next weeks episode!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I am flabbergasted, who tries to pull a stunt like that twice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Wow! That woman is just crazy!! Maybe there is a TV show going on: Lives of the Chutzpetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Is this woman seriously hard up for cash? That's the only logical reason I can think of that she keeps trying to pawn off her children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Wow! That woman is just crazy!! I wonder if she is related to my neighbor..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzyfizzle Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 :lurk5::eek: Wow. I wondered what was going on with this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Yes, the truth is stranger than fiction... Monday I sat alone as the coach runs into the room in a hurry as usual. She finds (probably premeditated) a poor victim mom sitting alone reading, and whispers something to her. The lady nods sweetly and the three kids are shooed to her. :lol: The kids tried to come to me a couple of times but I just ran them back to the lady, who smiles sheepishly and said their sitter backed out at the last minute so they're supposed to be sitting with her. :svengo:Then she took them out to the playground. Today I was in the very back corner visiting with the director. The coach runs in and without a word shoos the kids to the same lady, who looked quite stunned. I laughed, pointed it out to the director, and told her what happened on Monday. She turned a pretty shade of purple, walked over to talk to the victim, and then took off to the back. About 15 minutes later the coach walked out, picked up her kids and left. If I were a betting person I'd put all my money on having a new coach next week... :leaving: No freaking way! I can't believe it! :svengo: Wow! Just.... Wow! I don't think any of this is funny anymore. I find this woman pathetic and sad...and her kids are going to pay the price for her manipulations. :mad: This is pretty much how I have been feeling about this too. I feel REALLY bad for her children at this point. :iagree::iagree: Me too. Her poor poor children. I pray God protect them from their mother's neglect and from people who would prey on that. shudder. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 ETA: On a more serious note, the director at this point has shown enough negligence in *her* job, imo, that I'd be looking for another place to take dc when the term is up. HE should have been on top of this *at least* after talking to you a couple of weeks ago. To give her another week to find a sitter was...generous. The sitter cancelled at the last minute? Sorry. Coach already used up MORE than her share of grace when she LIED. The *following* week, she's *still* bringing her kids with her? I don't care if she DOES have an arrangement w/ another mom at this point, bringing the kids is a BAD. IDEA. If nothing else, it just LOOKS BAD. :iagree: The coach is exercising a lot of poor judgment, but so is the director. It should have been made clear to her last week that she could NOT bring her children with her. Honestly, even WITH a sitter there, her kids are too young not to be a distraction. They're going to want or need their mom at some point. I agree that the director is just as much at fault now that she is aware of the situation. Let us know next week if she's still the coach or if they have a new one. If they don't replace her, I would seriously rethink signing your kids up for this program again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 :iagree: The coach is exercising a lot of poor judgment, but so is the director. It should have been made clear to her last week that she could NOT bring her children with her. Honestly, even WITH a sitter there, her kids are too young not to be a distraction. They're going to want or need their mom at some point. I agree that the director is just as much at fault now that she is aware of the situation. Let us know next week if she's still the coach or if they have a new one. If they don't replace her, I would seriously rethink signing your kids up for this program again. :iagree::iagree::iagree: I agree. Nobody likes a confrontation, but this is insane and the director needs to deal with this. Who else is going to if not her?? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 :eek: Wow. Just wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Is this woman seriously hard up for cash? That's the only logical reason I can think of that she keeps trying to pawn off her children. I was wondering the same thing. Is she in some kind of desperate financial need that she would pull this? I'm not saying it is an excuse for what she did. She still shouldn't have lied. I wonder if she isn't crazy just desperate. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Is she in some kind of desperate financial need that she would pull this? I'm not saying it is an excuse for what she did. She still shouldn't have lied. I wonder if she isn't crazy just desperate. Kelly This thought has crossed my mind as well. It's the only thing I can think of (besides something diagnosable) that would warrant this kind of behavior. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Yes, the truth is stranger than fiction... Monday I sat alone as the coach runs into the room in a hurry as usual. She finds (probably premeditated) a poor victim mom sitting alone reading, and whispers something to her. The lady nods sweetly and the three kids are shooed to her. :lol: The kids tried to come to me a couple of times but I just ran them back to the lady, who smiles sheepishly and said their sitter backed out at the last minute so they're supposed to be sitting with her. :svengo:Then she took them out to the playground. Today I was in the very back corner visiting with the director. The coach runs in and without a word shoos the kids to the same lady, who looked quite stunned. I laughed, pointed it out to the director, and told her what happened on Monday. She turned a pretty shade of purple, walked over to talk to the victim, and then took off to the back. About 15 minutes later the coach walked out, picked up her kids and left. If I were a betting person I'd put all my money on having a new coach next week... :leaving: :svengo::svengo::svengo::lol::lol: WOW, seriously!!???!?!?!?!? Are you sure you're not making this up to entertain us? (just kidding) Do come back and tell us what happens next week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Wow. Unbelievable. I just read all seventeen pages of this thread. Who needs novels when you have stories like this? That woman has a lot of nerve. "I'll get the carseats."! Really? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 This thread has been so much fun!!!! Soap opera for homeschool moms :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I don't understand why she didn't just *actually* hire someone to watch the kids. Or, if she was hard-up, why she didn't admit it and perhaps ask a different mom each time, ideally in advance, or something like that. Why all the lying when it could probably have been handled apropriately? I too am worried about this family. The OP, however, did exactly the right thing. Hopefully they can hire a new teacher who the OP's kids will enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I still don't get why was she so desperate to be a coach in the first place. I just can't fathom why this essentially voluntary role (surely it can't be worth that much money?) was so important to her that she considered it necessary to lie and pass her kids off to strangers in order to keep it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knittingmomof3 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Yes, the truth is stranger than fiction... Monday I sat alone as the coach runs into the room in a hurry as usual. She finds (probably premeditated) a poor victim mom sitting alone reading, and whispers something to her. The lady nods sweetly and the three kids are shooed to her. :lol: The kids tried to come to me a couple of times but I just ran them back to the lady, who smiles sheepishly and said their sitter backed out at the last minute so they're supposed to be sitting with her. :svengo:Then she took them out to the playground. Today I was in the very back corner visiting with the director. The coach runs in and without a word shoos the kids to the same lady, who looked quite stunned. I laughed, pointed it out to the director, and told her what happened on Monday. She turned a pretty shade of purple, walked over to talk to the victim, and then took off to the back. About 15 minutes later the coach walked out, picked up her kids and left. If I were a betting person I'd put all my money on having a new coach next week... :leaving: So, was there a new coach this week??? :toetap05: This thread is my latest guilty-pleasure... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 So, was there a new coach this week??? :toetap05: This thread is my latest guilty-pleasure... Yeah, Stacie, let us know. We need closure. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 bumping up and bringing my coffee. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 bumping up and bringing my coffee. :D LOL Here's another bump. :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Yep- inquiring minds want to know :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in WI Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Gird your loins girly. She sounds like a b!tch. I'd be watching for retaliation. And when it comes you meet it head on! :iagree: I don't think any of this is funny anymore. I find this woman pathetic and sad...and her kids are going to pay the price for her manipulations. :mad: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Wow! The nerve of some people! Edited February 3, 2011 by ereks mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 So, was there a new coach this week??? :toetap05: This thread is my latest guilty-pleasure... I had no idea this would be bumped back...I've been dealing with flu kids and didn't get online. Sorry!! :) The director subbed for her on Monday and on Wednesday there was a new coach. :D The odd thing is that she brought her oldest child, the only one old enough to participate in the class, and she sat in the room with the other parents alone. She didn't bring her other kids either day. :001_huh: You'd think if she can find a sitter to watch while she sat there as an observer she'd be able to find one so she could coach. :confused: Maybe she just didn't want to coach and didn't know how to say no, so she managed to get herself fired. She's much too complex for me to spend time trying to evaluate. I'm just glad she's not coaching anymore! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea this would be bumped back...I've been dealing with flu kids and didn't get online. Sorry!! :) The director subbed for her on Monday and on Wednesday there was a new coach. :D The odd thing is that she brought her oldest child, the only one old enough to participate in the class, and she sat in the room with the other parents alone. She didn't bring her other kids either day. :001_huh: You'd think if she can find a sitter to watch while she sat there as an observer she'd be able to find one so she could coach. :confused: Maybe she just didn't want to coach and didn't know how to say no, so she managed to get herself fired. She's much too complex for me to spend time trying to evaluate. I'm just glad she's not coaching anymore! What an odd duck! :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Maybe her other kids were so sick even she wouldn't bring them and she got someone to babysit them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upstatemamma Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 What about walking into the class about ten minutes after it starts and sitting in the back. She will have had to deal with her own kids before you arrive and if you are hidden in the back she probably will not notice you. Or you could simply get up and move and tell her you don't wish to watch her kids. But I tend to be outspoken and most people don't feel comfortable doing that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 this has been one of my fav posts...it's too crazy for color t.v. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I'm just gob smacked by this entire thread! Thanks for the update! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea this would be bumped back...I've been dealing with flu kids and didn't get online. Sorry!! :) The director subbed for her on Monday and on Wednesday there was a new coach. :D The odd thing is that she brought her oldest child, the only one old enough to participate in the class, and she sat in the room with the other parents alone. She didn't bring her other kids either day. :001_huh: You'd think if she can find a sitter to watch while she sat there as an observer she'd be able to find one so she could coach. :confused: Maybe she just didn't want to coach and didn't know how to say no, so she managed to get herself fired. She's much too complex for me to spend time trying to evaluate. I'm just glad she's not coaching anymore! Sorry your kids are sick, Stacie. I hope they feel better soon. :grouphug: Thanks for the update. So the old coach was still there, but as a parent you're saying? Do you think finances were to blame for her always bringing her kids to class instead of having a babysitter? Honestly it's the only thing I can possibly think of to explain her behavior. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea this would be bumped back...I've been dealing with flu kids and didn't get online. Sorry!! :) The director subbed for her on Monday and on Wednesday there was a new coach. :D The odd thing is that she brought her oldest child, the only one old enough to participate in the class, and she sat in the room with the other parents alone. She didn't bring her other kids either day. :001_huh: You'd think if she can find a sitter to watch while she sat there as an observer she'd be able to find one so she could coach. :confused: Maybe she just didn't want to coach and didn't know how to say no, so she managed to get herself fired. She's much too complex for me to spend time trying to evaluate. I'm just glad she's not coaching anymore! And so ends the most entertaining thread since ChurchPat's hot wax saga. Thanks for letting us know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea this would be bumped back...I've been dealing with flu kids and didn't get online. Sorry!! :) The director subbed for her on Monday and on Wednesday there was a new coach. :D The odd thing is that she brought her oldest child, the only one old enough to participate in the class, and she sat in the room with the other parents alone. She didn't bring her other kids either day. :001_huh: You'd think if she can find a sitter to watch while she sat there as an observer she'd be able to find one so she could coach. :confused: Maybe she just didn't want to coach and didn't know how to say no, so she managed to get herself fired. She's much too complex for me to spend time trying to evaluate. I'm just glad she's not coaching anymore! WOW!!! What a flippin' weirdo!! All i can say is.....steeeerrr cllleeeaaar!!!! YEEPS!! Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 And so ends the most entertaining thread since ChurchPat's hot wax saga. Thanks for letting us know. :lol::lol: So, What's up next??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea this would be bumped back...I've been dealing with flu kids and didn't get online. Sorry!! :) The director subbed for her on Monday and on Wednesday there was a new coach. :D The odd thing is that she brought her oldest child, the only one old enough to participate in the class, and she sat in the room with the other parents alone. She didn't bring her other kids either day. :001_huh: You'd think if she can find a sitter to watch while she sat there as an observer she'd be able to find one so she could coach. :confused: Maybe she just didn't want to coach and didn't know how to say no, so she managed to get herself fired. She's much too complex for me to spend time trying to evaluate. I'm just glad she's not coaching anymore! I hate to say it... but I hope she didn't leave them home alone. She seems like the type who would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) She's probably trying to convince the director to hire her back by showing him she has childcare for the younger ones. Sounds like it's too little, too late. :tongue_smilie: Edited February 3, 2011 by Teachin'Mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 And so ends the most entertaining thread since ChurchPat's hot wax saga. Thanks for letting us know. :iagree: But, I think I missed the hot wax saga. Link? This actually reminds me of Spanish soap operas. Totally unbelievable, bad acting, so crazy you have to keep watching just to see what they come up with. At least with a Spanish soap opera, you can pretend you are improving your Spanish, though!! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 And so ends the most entertaining thread since ChurchPat's hot wax saga. Thanks for letting us know. :lol::lol::lol: I hate to say it... but I hope she didn't leave them home alone. She seems like the type who would. :eek: I HOPE that she wouldn't do such a thing! :iagree: This actually reminds me of Spanish soap operas. Totally unbelievable, bad acting, so crazy you have to keep watching just to see what they come up with. Ugh tell me about it! My husband is watching Eva Luna right now and it's driving me bonkers. That show is awful! He even admits that it's awful, but he can't help himself, he has to find out what's happening anyway. lol The one good thing about Spanish soaps is that they end unlike American ones that go on until the end of time. lol To me, the only telenovela that was worth watching was Betty La Fea. That one was great! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry your kids are sick, Stacie. I hope they feel better soon. :grouphug: Thanks for the update. So the old coach was still there, but as a parent you're saying? Do you think finances were to blame for her always bringing her kids to class instead of having a babysitter? Honestly it's the only thing I can possibly think of to explain her behavior. :confused: Thanks Ibbygirl. I'm so exhausted from taking care of the little ones and now the big two are running a fever. I brought the whiteboard we use for school (which isn't getting done now) and now use it to chart who is getting which medicine when. I'm too tired to remember! I suspect she took the job for the income, but either couldn't or wouldn't pay for childcare. I have no basis for this, but my gut tells me that she needs it which was where my guilt was coming from. :001_unsure: :lol::lol: So, What's up next??? My dh tells me I'm a magnet for weird people and strange situations. I could keep you entertained with my encounters, that's for sure!! :lol: I hate to say it... but I hope she didn't leave them home alone. She seems like the type who would. I worry about that too, but I really doubt it's the case. I imagine her dh was home to watch them. If having someone watch them during the class was temporary, the other moms and I could have worked with her. It's too bad she chose to do it in such an underhanded and dishonest manner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Thanks Ibbygirl. I'm so exhausted from taking care of the little ones and now the big two are running a fever. I brought the whiteboard we use for school (which isn't getting done now) and now use it to chart who is getting which medicine when. I'm too tired to remember! I suspect she took the job for the income, but either couldn't or wouldn't pay for childcare. I have no basis for this, but my gut tells me that she needs it which was where my guilt was coming from. :001_unsure: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: That's hard, but it's not up to you to solve her problems. I understand how you would feel guilty. You're a kind and caring person. :grouphug: I pray you don't get sick too. I feel so bad for your kids. We had the flu over the Christmas break and it was awful. My dh tells me I'm a magnet for weird people and strange situations. I could keep you entertained with my encounters, that's for sure!! :lol: hahahahaha Like the Truman Show. We should have a sticky thread dedicated just to Stacie and what next weird encounter she is having. lol :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 :iagree: But, I think I missed the hot wax saga. Link? This actually reminds me of Spanish soap operas. Totally unbelievable, bad acting, so crazy you have to keep watching just to see what they come up with. At least with a Spanish soap opera, you can pretend you are improving your Spanish, though!! :lol::lol::lol: Please don't give us Spaniards a bad name. Those are not Spanish soap operas, they are Spanish language soap operas from Latin America! However I have to confess that they are broadcast in Spanish private TV stations and lots of people are hooked on them! I can't understand why!!! It's like going back in time 50 years in terms of social customs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Okay, for those that asked - many of us have seen this a thousand times - and still laugh to the point of tears. The old thread is long gone, but here's the key post.... enjoy! All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.................. OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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