Can we talk public school? Have your kids went? What was your experience?

[KIN]

We are seriously considering sending our children to school for the first time after Christmas. I don't really want to talk about the reasons why, I'm not even sure I can verbalize them all. I would just like to know your experiences. Thanks.

[Night Elf]

Dd18 was in school until age 16. It was a shared custody arrangement. Just mentioning because she has school experience.

 

Dd12 was in school for a brief time every school year from Kindergarten through 5th grade. She never stayed more than 2 months except for her 3rd grade year which was stellar, so she stayed in school that entire school year.

 

--It was hard for me to totally accept that someone else had all the control over what my dd was going to learn in school. I felt even worse about the school work that she was required to do. They just have so much busy work and it really stressed her sometimes.

 

--She did very well in a classroom environment. She really liked being with so many other kids. For the most part she got along quite well with everyone. She didn't hit a problem with peers until 5th grade.

 

--I didn't like how long she was gone from home each day. The bus picked her up at 7:20am and dropped her off at 3:35pm.

 

--She hated eating lunch at the school. I helped her pack lunches every day and I must confess it was a pain in the neck.

 

--We have never been early morning people so helping her get up at 6:30am was really rough.

 

--I hated the Accelerated Reader program. They knew she was a top reader and pushed her into reading books that were longer than she really wanted. That pressure caused her to hate reading. Even after being in school only 2 months, she'd come home and refuse to read anything for at least that long. The worst time was in 2nd grade. The pressure was so unbelievably incredible that it took her 6 months to want to read anything longer than a Berenstain Bears book. It was that AR program pressure that was the last straw for me that school year, and I pulled her out.

 

--The math was a bit bizarre. I wasn't happy with the way it was being taught.

 

I can't think of anything else at the moment. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give the overall experience a 7. The things that bothered me are things I would learn to cope with if I didn't have the opportunity to homeschool. But I'm spoiled, so I don't accept less than great in this situation.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My kids went to school.....for 8 weeks in 2001 (in a nationally recognized school district).

 

My daughter was grade skipped immediately and offered another. We sent school work with her instead. She practiced writing the number 9 in math because the teacher didn't like how she wrote it and she was too far beyond what they were doing. Her teacher said she was making up words because the teacher didn't know them <sigh>. Her teacher told her she could only check out "4th grade books" from the library. My daughter got a 100 on the geography test but because she was the only one who passed, she got to "practice" with the rest of the class. Generally though my daughter's experience was pretty good. She enjoyed it. She got along with the girls in her grouping. She thought it was a waste of time, but had mixed feelings about coming back home.

 

My son was hospitalized about week 5 (long story; I'll spare you, but it was directly related to school). He missed several days otherwise for mental health reasons. They were overly focused on areas he was "behind" (in the first few weeks of 1st grade) though admitted half the class was. They wanted him to do pull outs, additional class time, and stay after school a few days per week. They, of course, did not offer more appropriate opportunities for areas he was "ahead." He spent a great deal of time in the hall or bathroom upset. The VP told me I *could not* pull him back out. Honestly, his teacher was awesome! He also LOVED being around the other kids (he's a social butterfly). He just wasn't ready for school and school wasn't equipped to handle his needs. They also didn't know what was important with a kid like he was at that time.

 

I don't mean to be negative. We have considered school otherwise and if our situation were different, I'm almost sure my ds would be in high school. But you asked our experience. For my daughter, it was "whatever." For my son, it could have ended up fatal.

 

If you do send your kiddos, I hope it goes VERY well. It most certainly can. I honestly believe public school has an important role. I look forward to working in one as a full time teacher if I get well enough.

 

ETA: And then there is how mama felt about it. I missed them. I worried about what was going on. I disagreed with the school regularly. I felt guilty for sending them (and for the reason we chose to send them). And it was EXHAUSTING. And frustrating. Obviously, most people send their kids to school so get over these things somehow. You have to determine for yourself whether it's going to eat at you or you can get over it.

Edited October 26, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[The Girls' Mom]

I'll preface this by letting you know that I do have a rather strong anti PS bias.

 

Mine were in PS up until 6th and 3rd grades.

They had a lot of great experiences in school, but none that they couldn't either 1. experience elsewhere or 2. live without.

What I didn't like about their schooling: They were held back by kids learning slower than they did. The teacher has to teach to the lowest common denominator, and anyone outside that small range gets left out academically. They were also being pretty much only taught how to pass a test. Actual quality learning wasn't happening.

They were exposed to things that I would prefer that they weren't. Girls that were over sexualized in elementary school, violence, bullying, anti-Christian teaching were all things we dealt with. And all these were happening in small, rural schools.

Our closeness as a family was being compromised. Time spent at school, and doing homework after school left no time for our family. They spent the vast majority of their time learning from other people who did not have the same values that we did.

Once they came home, they became little girls again and our family became so much closer.

Personally, we will do everything in our power to insure that they never attend PS again.

[Peela]

Remember many of us homeschool because of bad experiences in school (either us or our kids!).

My dd did well in school. We pulled her out because we had decided to homeschool ds - he had a bad year 2- and we wanted to do it as a family. But we always knew she woudl thrive in school- but wanted to homeschool her to keep her close to us, as she was so peer influenced.

 

Fast forward- dd16 is not going to school- straight to college- but ds14 is going to school next year. It feels right for him to get the stimulation of different teachers and subjects. I am goign for the interview in a couple of hours actually.

If it doesnt work..we just pull him out again! At least we have that option, which most people dont even realise they have.

[GWOB]

DD10 started off in a ps. Before she started K, I considered a small private school and homeschooling. I spoke to dh about my feelings. Honestly, we bought that house because it was in a fabulous school district, so we decided to give it a try. It was wonderful. The parents were very involved. The pricipal knew me by name, I was in that school 2-3 times a week. I knew what dd was learning. There were no major behavior issues. While dd is not what I would consider gifted (she hasn't calculated pi to the 100th place, graduated college, or anything like that), academics come easily for her. She was appropriately challenged and met at her level. I loved the school. Then we moved.:glare:

 

Our new ps was WAYYYYYYYY behind, even though new ps started in Aug. and old ps started in Sept. Athletics are emphasized at new ps. Since it is a small town, nepotism is in full force. The teachers are older and resistant to any deviation from the norm. Nevertheless, I sent dd to 3rd and ds to K there. That lasted a whopping 3 months. The kids were bored out of their mind. I suppose I have some fault in the failure as I did send my K-er to school reading chapter books. There is nothing there for kids who learn easily. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. Now, if my kids showed some sort of athletic promise, they would be at the top of their class. It just wasn't a good fit.

 

Do I think all public schools are horrid? Absolutely not! Of course, I am now faced with un-doing the damage the first wonderful ps did to dd. I taught her phonics before she went to school, but they taught sight words. She is now having issues spelling words. She wants to know exactly what is expected of her to get an "A". I want her to do her best regardless. I look at MY kids now and do not think ps will ever be right for them. That only applies to MY kids. If You think YOUR kids will benefit from ps, by all means do what is best for YOUR family. I am not a believer in one-size-fits-all education. Homeschooling is not for everyone. Neither is ps. Only you can decide what is best for your kids.:grouphug:

[sassenach]

My oldest had a decent ps experience until she hit 3rd grade. That was the year that the kids really started bringing their home life to school, and it wasn't pretty. That was also a terrible year academically. She had a teacher who played movies multiple times a week, didn't teach a lick of math and just really stunk. Then we pulled her out.

 

She reentered school this year, for eighth grade. We are in a top rated school district. So far:

 

*we had to pull her out of drama, because her teacher cursed profusely, then lied about it, then complained about me talking to him about it to another period.

 

*She has made a bunch of friends.

 

*Been exposed to a ton of sexual innuendo/jokes around the lunch table.

 

*Told a bunch of people about Jesus.

 

*Experienced the suicide of a classmate.

 

*Discovered that her friend has an eating disorder.

 

*Been challenged in different ways academically. It is less rigorous is some ways and more in others. It's been growing her weak spots. Overall, she says it's less work than homeschooling was. She had a 3.8 gpa on her first progress report.

 

It has not been easy, but for this child it was the right choice. Spiritually, she is in a good place and very much being used for Kingdom purposes. I can't say that I can think of any circumstance that I would put our young kids into PS. BUT, I have no idea what your reasons may be, so never say never.

[Laura Corin]

My boys are at private school. So far it's going well. They have learned some things in their social groups that might well have been delayed a few years, but they are coping well. Hobbes is having to learn to be a bit more guarded in his speech - his nature is to want to tell the world everything - so that one cow in his class doesn't get a hold over him.

 

Academically, it's working fine. Neither boy gets enough books to read, but that's easy to supplement at home. Their reports are good and so are most of their teachers. Calvin is grade skipped by one year, which is working well, I think. There's one child younger than him in his year.

 

Best of luck with your decision,

 

Laura

Edited October 26, 2010 by Laura Corin

[Sandra in FL]

Dd stopped home schooling after 8th grade - she won a half scholarship to an excellent private school. Before that, she did some classes (content classes - not basic skills) on Florida Virtual School and the local public school.

 

I will continue to do that for the other 2 kids before sending them to ps for high school. They will not be able to win scholarships :-) One big consideration for sending them off (not home schooling) is that with the economy the way it is the state universities are the most logical destinations, and they want accredited credits for high school.

 

I wanted to do math at home (Singapore Math, Dolciani Pre-algebra and Algebra) and language arts at home. Our family is much closer because of home schooling. I don't regret a thing.

 

Just a gentle correction - it's "Have your kids gone to ps?"

Edited October 26, 2010 by Sandra in FL

[Renee in NC]

My oldest ds has always gone to school. He does fairly well at a very good charter school in NC.

 

My 6, 8, and 9yo dc went to school about 6 weeks ago. My 9yo had a very rough start with a teacher with an attitude (he has very severe LDs and she thought he was just not trying hard enough and that I had not taught him.:glare:) She has lightened up some and he is adjusting better. My 8yo LOVES school! I never knew he was such a social creature. He also has LDs, but his teacher has done very well with him. We are currently waiting on IEP meetings for both of them (because of stupid FL special ed laws.) They both went in a grade behind due to the LDs.

 

My 6yo is doing fine and has adjusted to the different way of doing things in school. She has learned a few lessons about how catty little girls can be, but overall it has been fine.

 

My 12yo will go next year and he is the one I worry about the most. Between his dyslexia and his hatred for all things school, I am not sure he will do well. Time will tell.

 

School isn't as terrible as I thought it would be. Most of the teachers seem to genuinely care, but their hands are tied. There is an INCREDIBLE amount of testing and assessment - regular class tests, school tests, county tests, state tests, etc. It's ridiculous how much time teachers have to spend on assessments. There isn't much content beyond reading, math, and science (because that is what is tested) but they do have art, music, or PE everyday.

 

Overall it's best for our family, even if it isn't the perfect educational option.

[creekland]

My boys were in ps through 8th, 6th, and 4th grades respectively. It worked well in general and they tested well nationally.

 

My main regret is that they changed the math program while my youngest was there. It took me 2 YEARS to catch him up to grade level as he's not super strong in math anyway, but they really set him behind.

 

By pulling them out for high school (and middle school for the younger two), they've done superbly. My two oldest never wanted to return - oldest is happily in college now - middle is taking cc classes. My youngest decided he wanted to go back and is there in 9th grade now. His biggest complaint is the apathy his fellow students have. They don't want to learn and it bugs him. I'm hoping it bugs him enough to want to come back home... However, he's enjoying being kidded about being, "the smart one," and being heavily recruited for group work/"learning" so I doubt he will.

 

We're supplementing his education at home so he doesn't fall behind. (Our high school is below average in national scores in our state.)

[bettyandbob]

what happens depends on the child, the teacher and the school. Ds attened ps in K and now again in high school. K was awful, which how we turned to homeschool. ds is highly gifted, with dysgraphia, ADD, depression, anxiety and sensory issues. He's a tough fit. I am certain sending him to middle school would have been a disaster. He went into 9th grade with a 504 accomodation plan (his requires each classroom to have computer available to him, among other things), in advanced classes and he was further helped because 3 of his 7 classes were with mostly 11th and 12th graders. Ds still has major social skills problems, but placing into classes with more mature students meant his classmates treated him decently. He loves the majority of his teachers and I believe he is successful.

Younger ds is in a sp. ed. program at a ps. He's doing well. He likes going to school and the typically developing children at his school seem to like him.

dd just started ps. Homeschool got lonely without her brothers and I had to work more due to financial issues. She's in middle school. She's really matured, becoming very organized and conscientious about her school work. She talks to me a lot about the social things that go on. (I don't think she tells me everything, but I don't feel we are losing our connection).

[Margo out of lurking]

My dd attended a top-scoring charter school in an outstanding Denver area school district for K and 1/2 of first grade before we pulled her out. Charter schools overall are excellent in Colorado, I know that's not the case everywhere.)

 

A few of our reasons for pulling her out included the drive. It was just 3.5 miles each way, but the drive, carpool line, and waiting took up 1.5 hours each day. It was a candy school--if the kids did anything that they were supposed to (try to read!, etc.), they were rewarded with candy; it drove me crazy. Homework. While first grade homework was manageable, the school made it very clear that homework was the priority, two hours per night for 5th grade may not be unusual, and if you wanted to pursue outside activities, you may be better off in another school. Space was optimal, lunch was a horribly hurried time, and if one child in the class misbehaved, the 20 minute lunch period was shortened for the entire class. The final straw for me was when they tore down the playground to expand the school, the teachers were directed to a neighboring parking lot, and the children were to play in the parking lot during recess.

 

The were advantages. The parents were terrific, involved in their kids' educations, and the kids were great too, with minimal exceptions. The teachers worked hard and were kind. Academics were a priority.

 

Kathy, in the end, God called us to homeschool. We knew no one else who did; we had no idea what we were doing, and I cried for two weeks after pulling dd out. As the years have passed, we've never known if we'd homeschool all the way through or not. We left that up to the Lord. If He is putting it on your heart to send your children back to school, it will be the right decision for your family, and HE will protect your kids.

 

I'm praying right now for you to clearly see His will.

 

(I really think we need a little praying smilie face.):001_smile:

[Donna]

My oldest is in school for the second year (now 9th grade) and this year is my middle ds's first year in school. They were both homeschooled until then. Both have made a smooth transition to school. There are good sides and bad but right now the good are outweighing the bad.

 

The good...they have made many friends and are involved in extracurricular activities. Both are very social and get along well with other kids so that has been a good thing. They both are doing well in school with grades and testing. They both love going to school. It has helped my younger ds become more independent in his learning instead of depending on me to teach him everything. He was a bit "passive agressive" at home meaning he would ignore me about certain assignments and it was difficult for me to come up with a way to deal with that aspect of him. Now he is very good at getting his work done. He likes having the best grades in class so it has been the motivating factor he needed.

 

The bad...Trying to figure out who I should allow them to hang out with since they haven't grown up with these kids (we also moved to put them into a decent school district). Trying to balance giving them more independence (since they are teens) with protecting them from influences I don't want in their lives or decisions I don't want them to have to make just yet is difficult. The lack of "real" learning bugs me as well...they are both doing subjects (especially in maths) that they have already done before. The other subjects are fine because there is always more to learn but it is a little frustrating to have my 8yo doing the same math as my 13yo (okay, she is advanced in math but he was too before going into school).

 

All in all it has been a good move for them and for us as a family. I never intended for them to graduate high school early and neither is planning to major in maths in college so the fact that they are re-doing some maths isn't horrible for me. Hope that helps.

[Gwenhwyfar]

ds12: two public school experiences. the first was fantastic - wonderful teachers, fabulous aide (special needs child), integrated into a regular class where he was respected and welcomed as a full fledged class mate by the other kids, always included in field trips and activities like christmas concerts...he loved it. :D (this was in grade 1 and grade 2 classes - though he went through both grades twice, so we're talking about four years.)

 

the second - not good. different place, different system, different school. he was placed into a "special education class" - and was bored senseless because the class was designed for students who functioned on a much lower cognitive level. after a few weeks, we pulled him out.

 

he's soon going to have his third experience, as he'll be starting at our current local elementary (same place, diff system & school than the above)...i like the 'feel' of the school so far - they've been VERY willing to listen to me in terms of what he needs, open to whatever suggestions i've given as to how to make the transition work well for him, looking for just the right aide, and wanting him to be a part of everything just as his first school did. it's looking good and he's excited. :D

 

 

dd13: this one is hard to pin down. she was in public school for grades 1-5 (currently in grade 9) ... she didn't love it, but she didn't hate it either. teachers were mostly good, other students were mostly friendly (a few bully issues but nothing over the top) why did we decide to homeschool? cuz it was different. :p ...cuz we wanted to do something new & exciting, something with more freedom... stuff like that. she's got my rebellious streak. ;)

 

next year, she'll likely go to the public high school - that's what she wants, and i'll respect that. there's a LOT offered there at the high school level that i can't even begin to offer her at home - the school has a strong vocational aspect and the teens can take things like welding, mechanics, cosmetology, etc. there are dance groups and drama clubs, ski trips & sports teams, etc. we can neither find nor afford any of that stuff as extracurriculars.

[Lolly]

Dd#1 went to school until 2nd grade. She learned nothing there other than racism. To be quite honest, some of that was my fault. She could already read fluently, add, subtract, and do basic multiplication/division. Okay, so she didn't actually have her basic facts down; she could still do them as fast as someone who did. She still cannot memorize them at 18. However, whenever the school would cover something I had not already shown her (she asked:)), she could not learn it. I somehow had not taught her to count money. :001_huh: After spending months working with her, the teacher mentioned it in a Friday afternoon conference. Come Monday she knew how to count any amount of $ you put in front of her. :D Her teacher was astonished.

 

During the time she was in school, we experienced very frightening behaviors from her at home. She had never been one to sleep at night well. She could not physically get up to go to school. She came home in rages. It was quite terrifying as a parent. The school was clueless. She was perfect there. Of course, we ended up at a psychiatrist. She ended up with a scary dx and mind altering medication which made her behaviors even more terrifying than they were before (but in a much different way). The doctor proposed adding other drugs to counteract the side effects of the first one. I declined and insisted on her being weaned from the one she was already on. A nurse there suggested homeschooling. We jumped right on that bandwagon! It worked much better to just let her have her own internal clock and schedule. Besides, I was already teaching her everything at home anyway. This way, I could do it when she wasn't raging.

 

At the same time, my twins were supposed to be starting K that fall. The school had a policy of never allowing twins to be in the same classroom. Their preschool teacher agreed that it would be in their best interest to keep them together when they moved into such a large and strange setting. Not one soul who knew them thought it was a good idea to make them separate at this point. Of course, the principal was the ultimate authority and knew best. I had a meeting with him armed with documented studies proving that he was wrong. Seems I was mistaken, they should be separated. He had NEVER had a set of twins placed in the same classroom and it ALWAYS worked out best that they be apart. (How do you know that if you had never tried it the other way???) Since I was so insistent, they would allow it for a trial period. In a classroom with a teacher that was certain that the "experiment" would fail. dd#2 asked why they couldn't stay home for school too. :001_huh: Now, why on earth hadn't I thought of that???

 

If you are still reading, I have to add a little bit. Dd#1 only remembered the fun parts of ps. She did not remember the nightmares she had caused by the teacher next door screaming constantly (horrid things) at the kids in her class. She did not remember ANYTHING she hated about it. She begged and begged to go back. I finally allowed her to in 8th grade. I lasted 5 horrible weeks. Dd still did not learn a single thing in school. I had to teach it all to her at home.

 

The sad truth. I find homeschooling to be much, much easier and take less time. I do not know why, but dd did not seem able to learn in a classroom environment. Even in first grade, we had hours of homework to do. Senseless little projects mostly. 8th grade brought homework from 3:30 when she got home until 11 or 12 at night with a 30 minute break for dinner. It was pretty much the same for every kid who was making A's and B's at this school (private). I could not live that way.

Edited October 26, 2010 by Lolly

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Ds1 went to PS for K and 1st grade. Both years were horrible for him. The first year, his teacher was nice and personable, but she was a total ding-dong and did really wacky things. First she told me she didn't think he could read because he had poor handwriting :confused:, then she also told me he shouldn't be able to be reading on the level he was reading. :confused::confused:

There is a whole long story about her calling me multiple times and me eventually coming to the school to get my son because she thought he had an accident in his pants. Turns out it was the kid sitting next to my son. These are just a few of the things that bothered me about that year. I won't go into her lack of grammar, spelling or vocabulary skills.

 

Then, first grade was even worse. Ds didn't like the teacher at all, and I think the feeling was mutual. Things went downhill fast. I should have tried to have him switched to a different teacher. Every time ds got upset about something (he has some issues) she would send him to the guidance counselor. I received a call from the office at least once a week. Toward the middle of the year, he thought his teacher was a vampire and was terrified of her. We started seeing an outside counselor after that to get to the bottom of things. She consulted with the various school personnel, and told me that the school was way off base in their evaluation of my ds. She had me even seek a second opinion to see if she was missing anything the school was supposedly observing. Needless to say, this is what really pushed us over the edge into homeschooling.

 

ALL THAT SAID, ds2 had a fabulous year in Kindergarten. His teacher was an absolute gem and if we could have had someone like her for all 12 years, I would not have hesitated to keep them in PS.

 

It all depends on the people you are dealing with in the school.

[KidsHappen]

I pulled my son in sixth. Then he attended one year of middle and one year of high.

 

My dd went all the way through 9th.

 

The 18 year went to PS for 7th grade.

 

The 17 yr. never went to school.

 

The 14 year old has been in school since 6th grade. She is now in 8th.

 

The 11 year old started PS in 5th grade.

 

I was not happy with the PS experience of the older two children but have been very happy with the PS experience of the youngest four. They have a good curriculum )which many of the same programs that I used. I do have some difficulty with the hours, the intrutions into family life and someof the inane rules and reguaations

[Ferdie]

My two oldest attend a ps charter school for middle school. They started in 7th and 6th grade. Both are doing well academically and socially. The school is small, less than 200 students. It has excellent administrators and active parents. They both love seeing their friends every day and are doing well academically.

 

My youngest just started at a charter school two weeks ago. He is working much harder for his teacher than he did for me. I think since he was my youngest I babied him too much and did too much for him.

 

The downside of ps for my oldest has been the homeload load - 2-3 hours a night including weekends.

 

The downside for me has been the loss of flexibility. I really miss taking my kids to hs day at the zoo and going on family vacations off season. The other downside is that afternoons are crazy. Between overseeing homework, getting the kids to their activites and making dinner we have had some very hectic evenings.

[TXMary2]

My oldest was in public school for Kindergarten to 2nd grade and Private School from 3rd grade to 8th grade. Then he spent 4 months of 9th grade at a public high school and at that point is when I started homeschooling him. In the younger years I didn't like the public school at all - they taught him to read without learning phonics and to this day if he is reading aloud he says lots of wrong words. I never wanted him at the publc school and finally by third grade we could afford private school. When we moved to Texas I naively thought a public school in a small town would be fine. It was academically AWFUL and that is the reason I pulled him.

 

My middle ds went to Private School from K to 4th grade. Then in small town Texas we tried the public school - it was a brand new, pretty school and he was part of the first attending class. His teachers were nice, but there were too many unruly and out of control kids. Everyday he came home with a story about stuff kids were doing. One child punched the teacher in the nose and made her bleed and cry. My son was 9 and horrified by this - he'd never seen anything like it in his private school. He begged me everyday after school not to make him go back. He also was sad because in his words, "we never talk about Jesus." It was breaking my heart.

 

While I suppose there are good things about public schools, there is nothing there that I want my kids exposed to and they can't give them anything that I can't give them just as well or better. Homeschooling is better for us, but we all do what we have to do.

 

Anyway, that was our experience.

[NanceXToo]

Alexa went to public school for K, 1st grade, 2nd grade, and most of 3rd grade. At the end of third grade (that March) I pulled her out of public school and began homeschooling. So I'm coming at this from the totally opposite viewpoint.

 

I didn't like how academic school was in Kindergarten, how much deskwork they had, how she'd bring home homework even then, how long of a day it was. She was five and she was tired.

 

The kids had "silent lunches," a mere 15 minutes of recess- which my daughter was constantly losing due to "talking too much" in the classroom- so they gave five year olds pretty much no social or play time. It was hard on her.

 

In first grade, more of the same- losing recess as a punishment for talking too much. Desk work all day long. Homework. This teacher gave her an "F" in math one report card period not because she didn't know the work but because she missed some graded papers due to illness and vacation that the teacher refused to send home and couldn't find time to let her make up in class, and due to the fact that she had some incomplete papers because the kids were told to draw pictures to illustrate the problems, and my daughter liked to draw detailed pictures.

 

In 2nd grade, school was a lot better- she had matured enough to not talk as much in class AND she had a very nice teacher, so she wasn't missing recesses anymore. But she still had long days at a desk, probably an hour or more of homework a night, very little time to just be a kid, play, get outside, explore her own interests, or have family time (and the family time we DID have was at the end of a long, tiring day when no-one was in their best mood or really able to enjoy each other...

 

...especially since I had to basically be "the enforcer," trying to make her do homework (the last thing she felt like doing at the end of such a long day), getting dinner ready, and ugh I hated how EVERYTHING seemed to revolve around the school and its schedules. "Do this, it's a school night, you can't do that, it's a school night, get up, it's a school day, hurry up, you have to make the bus, oh, I have to hurry up and make the PM bus, you have to do schoolwork, I have to sign this note, I have to make that conference, I have to shop for this, we have to do that, school, school, school").

 

Yuck.

 

And having to "get permission" every time we wanted a family vacation, a sick day, a mid week field trip.

 

Third grade- another VERY nice teacher...but big standardized testing year, so oh man the stress, the stomachaches, the tears, the I don't want to go to schools, the what if I fails, it was horrid.

 

That was the year I finally said "Enough. There has to be something better. There has to be something more."

 

And there was. There is! I've been happily homeschooling ever since (the rest of third grade, all of fourth, and now we're a couple months into 5th) and I've never looked back. I wish I had done it from the beginning with my daughter. I'm glad I'm doing it from the beginning with my son.

 

We are more relaxed, less stress, we have more fun, a better relationship, we follow our interests more, my kids can be themselves and follow their interests more and use their imaginations more, there's more time for everything. They're in more activities, we do more outings, more hand on activities. We take advantage of doing things over the week instead of on the weekends.

 

AND now I don't have to worry about the horrors I've heard about middle school and what goes on there- something I'm glad my daughter can avoid.

 

We can teach a well rounded curriculum in whatever manner we want, instead of focusing on standardized testing. Speaking of which, every year I see the results of said testing in the local newspaper, showing how all the local school districts scored, and I want to add that mine consistently fails to even "meet state average." So they're not even doing an effective job, if we go by that!

 

Homeschooling? I love it.

 

I guess the "grass is always greener on the other side"- but that's what it looked like from my side, back then!

[Wheres Toto]

My oldest is a junior in high school and has been in outside school her whole life. She went to a parochial school for K-2, public school in a crappy district for 3rd through 8th and is in an excellent school district for high school.

 

School in general has been a fairly positive experience for her. She is smart but not gifted, no learning disabilities, very social, very self confident (not a follower at all). She always did well on the stupid standardized tests, averaged A's and B's the rest of the time.

 

Good experiences: In second grade her class was the mentor class for the disabled class. These were severly disabled kids - most in wheelchairs, many had feeding tubes, couldn't talk, etc. Her class would sit with them at lunch, read to them, help them with things they could do. It gave them a wonderful opportunity to learn that they were still people, with feelings and learn some empathy for those who were different.

 

She made some wonderful friends. She still sees many of her friends from her old school district. She's very accepting of all kinds of people. She will not accept other kids telling her who she shouldn't be friends with so she's usually friends with both the "popular" kids and the "strange" kids.

 

She's having a great high school experience. She's done the school musical and met some amazing kids, she's a Cheerleading Captain, was able to take sign language and practice with kids who are actually deaf (her school is a magnet for deaf students). She's taking classes that are harder than what I think she would attempt on her own (Honors Virgil Latin 3/4).

 

Bad: She had one semi-bullying experience in junior high. It didn't last long, the school (this was the crappy district) dealt with it quickly. Her true friends stood by her and it didn't have a lasting impact on her (other than dropping a few so-called friends).

 

She hasn't been exposed to sex by her friends but we're in NJ where sex ed (at some level - not details) is part of things in Elementary school. I think the mystique is missing when they learn about it in class.

 

She's had a few teachers that she didn't like but none that caused any problems.

[....]

Hi, my kids went to public school for 2 years in one of the top schools in the country. Oldest daughter went to K and 1st. Son went to K.

 

Oldest daughter: teachers were very nice, daughter would come home screaming and kicking the wall for about an hour EVERY stinkin day after school (some older parents told me it was probably stress), would ask to stay home from school every morning as we stood at the bus stop, I would get phone call at least once a week from the school nurse (she wanted to come home), had a horrible parent-teacher conference in where the lady stood over me telling me how slow my daughter worked and how she doesn't answer questions in class, had teacher call a week later with kid's gifted testing scores and "Oh, we're so excited to have your daughter in our school, blah, blah...", boy on school bus was exposing himself to my daughter on the ride home and trying to get other kids to "touch him", daughter sat through school day with a DEER TICK on her and the teacher told her to "wait til she gets home to tell her mom"...Geez, I could go on and on...

 

Son: now that I look back on it, 5 yro boys have no business being in a school. He would fall asleep at school, they would carry him to the nurse's office and I would have to drive over and pick him up (he was just too little to be in school). He was also removed from the class once a day to work with the Special Ed lady because he wasn't reading yet. When we started homeschooling him the summer after K, he didn't even know his letter sounds. :glare: He looked cute getting on the school bus, but he didn't learn much...:tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, yeah, and this public school did absolutely NO math whatsoever. NO math. When I started homeschooling, my daughter did 2 years of Singapore in 1 year.

 

On a positive note, my daughter had one teacher who was incredibly nice to the kids. She had probably been teaching for over 30 years. She would hug the kids when they came into the classroom each morning. She pulled me aside one day and talked to me about my daughter's academic abilities, showed me some examples and explained them. She was very knowledgeable about teaching. She was just all-around a really nice lady.

 

Oh well, that was our experience. Unless I'm maimed horribly, we'll be homeschooling to the bitter end (and I mean BITTER! - :lol:).

 

BTW, there's a book out http://www.amazon.com/Going-Public-Child-Thrive-School/dp/0830745777/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1288101175&sr=8-1-fkmr1 It's called Your Kids Can Thrive in Public School. This was recommended by someone at one point. It is from a religious perspective, though.

 

Good luck with whatever you do!

[Starr]

My dd was in school for k and 1st grade. I felt like she was never home when she wasn't tired. It was school, park time, homework, dinner, bath and bed. Once we brought her home she was nice to her brother again. :)

[Surlygirlie]

My two entered a charter school two months ago. It was the first time in a traditional school setting for either of them.

 

The transition has been surprisingly smooth. I had considered myself a slacker homeschool mom ("I'm not doing enough!") so I was delighted that within just a few weeks the kids had a handle on the homework loads and the tests and that their teachers were thrilled to have them in their classrooms. The school is considered to be the most academically rigorous in the city and does not teach to the test yet regularly has some of the highest scores on it. It also uses curriculums that I have either used in the past or that I have at least heard of through WTM boards, so that was a plus as well.

 

So, academically, I have no complaints with their experiences.

 

Socially? Well, it has been mostly positive. My daughter is the one who comes home and tells me about something a kid has said that is troubling to her. We have interesting discussions about how peers say one thing but do another or how girls can act like they are the best of friends and then one day be decidedly not friends.

 

One incident that stands out is when she felt like some girls she was hanging around with were just not as friendly as at the beginning of school. Knowing that my daughter is at the top of the class, regularly finishes her work and then helps the teaching by filing papers or tutoring her peers in class, I asked--as gentlely as I could--if maybe they didn't like her because she always did well. She said, "Oh, because I'm a goody-two-shoes?" (:lol:) Yes, I said. Her response? "Well, I don't care. I think I'm well-rounded and that's all that matters." I think she'll be fine.

 

The downers from my point of view? The time preparing a healthy lunch with snacks. The 15 minute drive to the school. The homework. The bureaucracy. I had to fill out a load of paperwork simply for the school to have an epi-pen in case my daughter injested a tree nut. Then I had to do it all over again--with doctor's signatures--when there was a field trip. Ugh.

 

I will say that for my kids right now, this school is the best choice. I certainly wish it was still homeschooling. I miss them and feel as if my days are lacking a purpose that they used to have. But that is not the plan the universe has for me right now.

 

Best of luck to you as you and your family make the decision.

[Tarreymere]

I will begin with the younger children, it has been a milder experience, so far at least.

 

DD11 and DS14 are the children of my previous marriage and their dad does not approve of homeschooling. DS is geeky and bright and has been tormented and bullied for that on a regular basis. He doesn't say much. DD11 has begged to be homeschooled, she is bored in school because she reads at a much higher level than her class and they are not able to accomodate her. She is interested in chemistry and a meatier science program. She is advanced in math, and bored with her current math class. She is distressed by the peer pressure to wear certain brands of clothing or own various consumer items. There are kids in her class who talk about smoking pot. The popular music is rap about sex and violence. Some of her friends have had sex. The decision to homeschool her is currently pending with her father, who minimizes these issues.

 

DD 24 was a gentle, nearsighted, geeky girl who was beaten up, teased, tormented horribly, and emotionally scarred. I pulled her out in high school, finally, and unschooled her. She bloomed.

 

DD 23 says she wanted to be 'popular' in school. Since we did not have the means for her to achieve popularity through wearing the most expensive clothes or living in an expensive house, she decided to try for notoriety instead, as she now tells me. The five years between the ages of thirteen and eighteen were a nightmare. To hit the highlights, let me just say that having your child make the headlines in your small hometown by being the leader of a heroin ring is not exactly something most parents want to live to see. She was eighteen then. Prior to that she was very well known to the police in our entire county and two surrounding counties. She had a long list of misdemeanors and a few felonies including felony witness intimidation. She was simultaneously the girlfriend of the two most dangerous drug dealers in town and enjoyed provoking them to fight with each other. She ran away and skipped school so often her siblings almost didn't recognize her. She started fights, she bullied others, she started a 'girl gang'. She escaped from several juvenile detention facilities, once she had to be extradited from a state several hundred miles away. She tells me she was 'just having fun'. She has never been addicted to drugs although she has tried them all, she has no alcohol addiction although she can't get a driver's license until she is thirty due to all of her underage drinking violations, and she didn't have a child until she was 21, despite having sex starting at age 13. I consider her to be an unschooler, since she rarely saw the inside of a schoolroom. She is a very bright girl, an avid reader, and an accomplished liar. She was the child you don't want your kids around for any reason. She was the reason you need to homeschool your own kids, because you don't need your children to become friends with someone like her. And yes, she was raised in a two parent, church-going family in a stable home enviroment.

 

Today she is still alive, amazingly. She has two illegitimate children to two different drug dealers. She has been in jail in several counties, and was most recently released only two weeks ago. She is still very close to her high school friends and popular with the criminal crowd. At least two of her close friends have been convicted of murder. She is charming and manipulative and adept at working the system. I have the unique ability to walk about in the worst sections of town at any hour I choose because I am known to be her mother and the criminals either fear her or respect her.

 

I can't help but think about all that drive and initiative being channelled more positively. It is an incredible waste of intelligence and talent. I am terrified that my younger children will end up like her, and the best I can think of to do for them is to homeschool and focus on moral values and character development. I want to challenge them and engage them with curriculum that is interesting and meaningful. I want them to live a better life than their sister. I worry about her children.

[Mom22ns]

My kids both went to ps and we had a great experience K-4. In our district the kids go to an upper elementary for 5-6 and it was a huge step down. I knew the test scores dropped at the school, but when ds actually go there we found out why. Teacher apathy, lousy principal, it was just a bad environment. My ds had an IEP (autistic spectrum) and the teachers didn't even read it, let alone follow it. We pulled ds out after one year and dd never went there (her choice).

 

I really like our public schools. They are full of wonderful teachers and offered excellent learning. The teachers were always ready to give my kids more challenging work and keep them interested. Even so my dd was bored and my ds was bullied. Homeschooling is better for us, but if we couldn't, I wouldn't hesitate to send dd. Ds won't go back, but will go to college. He is just a different guy and difference is not good in jr. high and high school.

[sheryl]

We are seriously considering sending our children to school for the first time after Christmas. I don't really want to talk about the reasons why, I'm not even sure I can verbalize them all. I would just like to know your experiences. Thanks.

 

 

My dd has never been to a full time "day" public school. I don't plan on it. What we did a few years ago was to enroll her in a huge several hundred large homeschool co-op for 2 classes. God will direct you!

[hsbaby]

My oldest was in PS from Pre-K to 4th. She has special needs and was in both special ed. and general classrooms. Our experiences varied from year to year....often depending on the teacher. And I will say, she had 1 or 2 AWESOME teachers! My issues with special needs programs won't apply to you, so I will leave them out:) I will say however, that having a special needs child can really highlight that bullying and inappropriate behavior that goes on (usually unpunished) in ps. I was also surprised at some of the topics these young kids brought up...stuff I didn't even think about in 3rd grade. For example, we once had a 3rd grade girl call our house and leave a message saying she was so drunk. REALLY? I seriously don't think I knew what that meant at that age!

 

We also had our middle in ps K. That lasted an entire month. He was SO bored. He also didn't care for the social aspects of school. Kids calling each other names, being physical on the playground, etc. It would bother him even if it weren't directed at him. I went to eat with him a few times and I couldn't believe how the teachers and staff let these kids get away with stuff. He now goes to a hs tutorial. These kids don't get away with much:) I like it that way....so does he. You act up...you go home. Simple as that.

[LibraryLover]

I have a ds in small-ish public town high school. Our experience has been a positive one. We have access to a group of caring & thoughtful folks.

[ApronMama]

I agree that it really depends on the school, the teacher, your child, and the class size. My ds(7) is gifted in reading/language/critical thinking and is in public school. We have been fortunate to have the same teacher for 1st and 2nd and a great teacher who immediately recognized his needs in K and took time to meet them as best they can.

 

In our experience, teachers really want to do what is best for our child. He gets bored, but he really thrives on the interaction with other kids. His teacher has special seatwork for him and we have been able to integrate what we are afterschooling with his time at school. We have been fortunate, however, to go to a school with a strong math and phonics program.

 

The difference between a good and bad experience can be you--can you volunteer in the classroom and develop a really good relationship with the teacher? Being in the classroom may put your mind at ease or identify potential areas of concern so you can help identify solutions. It also can help you help your child pick good friends.

 

As for the culture of school, somehow we have been able to keep him "young"--we talk a lot about our values and why we don't watch certain shows, read certain books or buy cartoon character stuff and he accepts it. I'm not sure that will be the same for our younger child, but it has worked for the older. He's been able to make friends with families who have values similar to ours and we watch out for each other.

 

We afterschool subjects he doesn't get at school at his level of interest--history and science, and Bible, since that is important to us.

 

So far ps is working for us, but its a year by year decision. I would homeschool, but my husband isn't for it, and honestly, my social ds really enjoys the classroom environment.

[Forget-Me-Not]

My son went to public school for K and 1. Overall it was mostly a positive experience. Kindergarten was fabulous. He had the most amazing Kindergarten teacher who did all kinds of neat projects and incorporated lots of music and art and hands-on projects. His first grade teacher was very kind and very sweet. But she was also very relaxed and my son was blasting through the work and had a lot of free time, which he mostly spent playing on the classroom computer (it was educational, but still. . .).

 

Before he hit first grade, we had started seriously considering HS. We were feeling very led in that direction, but after a lot of thought and prayer, we felt like he needed to spend another year in PS. So he went. In the meantime, my daughter (age 5) was adamant that she wanted to be home schooled. So about 2/3 of the way through that school year, we revisited the issue and prayed about it again. This time it felt right, so we blew off kindergarten registration and informed the school that our son would not be returning for second grade.

 

Even though our PS experience, was mostly positive, there were negatives that pulled us toward homeschooling in addition to our spiritual/religious reasons.

 

1. Time. If my son rode the bus, he got on at 7:20 a.m. and didn't get home until 2:45 p.m. (full day kindergarten, so this was both years, and it would have gone an hour later starting with 3rd or 4th grade). Then it was finish homework, go to soccer or karate, have dinner, go to bed, lather, rinse, repeat. I got to the point where I felt like I all I ever said to him was, "Hurry up and finish your homework." "Hurry up and get ready for karate." "Hurry up and get ready for bed." Now we have all day together. Schoolwork itself takes up very little time. We can let them sleep when they need to, we can visit friends and run errands and do whatever we want on OUR schedule.

 

2. The other kids. Even in K and 1 there were budding bullies. Thankfully my son was usually not a target, but I would go in and volunteer and just be astounded at some of the behaviors and some of the stuff parents allowed. And I knew it was only going to get worse.

 

3. Lunches. Ugh. A pain to pack, but the school lunches were so gross and unhealthy.

 

4. Fundraising/money requests/donation requests. Every time we turned around there was something. The thing that really astounded us was when my FIRST GRADER came home with a form to sell tri-tip sandwiches to raise money for. . . drum roll please. . . the EIGHTH GRADE field trip. Uh, nope. Those eighth graders can wash cars and mow lawns without having to sub-contract my 7 yo, thank you very much!

 

5. Upcoming changes. There were drastic budget cuts this year in our district. My son's 1st grade class had 17 students last year. This year the teacher has *29* students. They're getting rid of aides, and more families need to have two parents working full time so there is less and less parent participation. Third grade is about the point that homework starts getting ridiculous and I've heard horror story after horror story about some of the 4th/5th/6th teachers who are tenured and get away with unbelievable garbage.