So, what TWTM forum posts do you shake your head at?

[BMW]

Now, isn't that a title to stir up trouble?? Not that I want to...

 

But, sometimes I wonder about what people here respond to. I might ask a question and get very minimal response. Other times I get a lot of feedback. Sometimes I sit and try to think of a clever title to get people to pay attention and answer me... other times I am just wanting to share part of life with others out there and know that a lot of you are right here.

 

I know some posts just keep recurring... every single season... sometimes more often...

 

There's the general "would you eat this?" post that happens here and there.

 

There's the "what's for dinner?" thread and I love those, no matter how often they occur.

 

I ignore the ones that I know will go against something I feel strongly about and I wonder why other people don't just do the same...

 

Then there are the holiday ones that come up every year, but we all endure them... I suppose, anyway...

 

I like the game ones... particularly where we "channel Doran" and go to it with post titles.

 

I love the funny stories ones, too. Ones where kids say or do clever, funny or ridiculous things or embarrass us to no end...

 

I am one who will post a "wwyd" for consequences or raising a child in the age range of 10-15... and I've learned a LOT of compassion for the kids over the years from the responses...

[Jean in Newcastle]

You pot-stirrer, you!:D

 

Shake my head at? The ones where someone asks a question but as soon as people start to give their opinions it becomes clear that all they wanted one specific kind of answer.

 

I love the game ones, the debates on things like the continents and the proper pronunciation of words, the heartfelt ones that are humble and awe-inspiring. . .

[Isabella]

I guess I don't shake my head at very many, and I can't think which ones I did right off the top of my head, but my girls often walk past the computer, and read a thread title aloud, say, 'I just stubbed my toe!', or 'I just finished....book' or similar kinds of threads, and they do shake their head, and say - big deal, who cares!

I have to say I enjoy reading a lot of posts, even if they are fairly mundane - it gives a little variety to my own mundane daily occurences!

[BMW]

Oh! I like that, Jean!

 

I thought I'd be stirring the pot, but what was in my heart was more of a thinking about all the facebook posts and how people post about what they are up to or to connect with others and it just reminded me about this very forum! How many times do we come here and post what we are tackling in life or what our child has just done or "whatever" and we haven't even all clicked on whether to be "friends", we're just a bunch of "strangers" at first!

 

So, not meaning to bring on some trouble... Just seeing a bit of similarities (except for the profanity and most of us don't get away with the vague posting or fishing for compliments/business... if anyone tries it, they get called out here...)

[simka2]

Normally, I only shake my head when posters "volunteer" advice or opinions...when an OP was simply relateing an event or looking for sympathy. Totally different if you were asking for advice ;)!

[IsabelC]

The ones that I know are going to be controversial, and I think "OK, not gonna open that one", but then I do :lol:

[asta]

Adrenal Fatigue.

 

I will go to my grave being PO'd about that one. It is all over chat boards.

 

It. Doesn't. Exist.

 

There are many conditions out there that have symptoms that manifest similarly to primary or secondary Addison's (which is NOT called Adrenal Fatigue, nor IS it Adrenal Fatigue), but are instead something completely different. They are difficult to diagnose, and often there is simply no cure or treatment for them beyond "slow down and take care of yourself." Most people don't want to hear that.

 

Signed,

 

Asta - who is in real, honest to god Adrenal FAILURE. As in, they are working at less that 5% capacity now. And this whole time they've been on their way to failure, I've NEVER been diagnosed with "adrenal fatigue".

 

(yeah, touchy subject, that one)

[Peela]

Similar to Jean...but to me its the ones where people write in to complain and ask for help but really just want to complain and be commiserated with, rather than helped.

I guess it bugs me that people want to be miserable and want company!

[angela in ohio]

Shake my head at? The ones where someone asks a question but as soon as people start to give their opinions it becomes clear that all they wanted one specific kind of answer.

 

Yep. If you only want people to agree with you, just say so.

 

I generally don't respond to general board posts that are just updates about someone's life, and they just want "hang in there, you're so great" type responses. I may read them, depending on who they are.

 

I think a lot of it has to do with the time you post. The board is more active at certain times than others. The title doesn't matter much one way or another to me, because I hover over the title to read the first bit anyway before deciding whether to open the thread.

 

On the curriculum board, the ones that crack me up are: "So, do you like IEW?" or "Is SOTW good?" or "Can you name every spelling program out there for me?" ones. It's good to do a little research on your own, use the search funciton, and then ask more specific questions.

 

I like the grammar questions; there are few people IRL who I can debate over finer points of grammar. :001_smile:

[patchfire]

I have joked with my dh that if there is any post whose title is a yes or no question, the answer is no 90% of the time. Every once in a while, I want to be contrary and respond to yes or no questions with a one word answer based solely on the post title. :lol: I never have though.

[KidsHappen]

The ones where people ask seemingly innoccuous questions and we end up with such a blow-out (almost akin to an on-line brawl) that it closes the board down.

 

Ones that end in a deleted thread which I miss entirely.

[Mom-ninja.]

Shake my head at? The ones where someone asks a question but as soon as people start to give their opinions it becomes clear that all they wanted one specific kind of answer.

 

 

 

:iagree: Yes, and then they get irritated or offended because you did not say what they want to hear.

[JFSinIL]

The "Would you believe/what do you think?" type of posts where the poster clearly just wants others to AGREE that she just encountered the most obnoxious/idiotic/rude/whatever /person/event/example of public school/etc. and we are supposed to acknowledge the superiority of the poster (and ourselves) to the person/event etc.

[shanvan]

I've been that new hyper wanting -to get- everything-right and wanting to start as soon as I possibly could homeschooling mom; BUT the "What curriculum should I use for my 2 yr old?" posts sometimes make me roll my eyes.:001_rolleyes:

 

Also the people stressing that they ruined their 5 yr olds because they haven't done enough school.

 

I try to remind myself I've btdt.

 

Shannon

[Teachin'Mine]

This one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:D No, just kidding. :lol:

 

Sometimes what amazes me more are the threads that don't get many readers. The title may not be "catchy", but the content is awesome. Often times it's a relatively new poster and that seems to make a difference too, but I'm not sure why. :001_huh:

[Old Dominion Heather]

I hate the ones on the curriculum board that ask things like:

 

"Please tell me how to homeschool classically."

 

Or "My five-year-old cries about writing in paragraphs, yet I KNOW he can! How can I MAKE him? And don't tell me to back off!"

 

Or honestly? "I would never let my child do/read/watch X because it is SOOOOOO evil!"

[Night Elf]

Posts that have an outright 'I'm better than you because you make stupid choices' attitude.

 

Posts that bash other homeschool methods, including unschooling, when the posters haven't spent hours, weeks and months researching those methods to make an informed decision.

 

Quick to judge. Unwilling to step into someone's shoes to understand a different point of view.

 

Posts that push religious reasons for doing or not doing something with the OP specifically states that religious reasons aren't a factor in their lifestyle. An evangelical feel.

 

Um, basically all the negative ones that are intended to make other people feel bad.

[Joanne]

I haven't seen this one in a while but my absolute favorite is, during a discussion or debate:

 

 

"I'm right because countless thousands of other forum members PMed me to agree" and the 1st cousin "My PM box is full over this one", which is a rather passive/aggressive way of being passive/aggressive.

[smrtmama]

I have joked with my dh that if there is any post whose title is a yes or no question, the answer is no 90% of the time. Every once in a while, I want to be contrary and respond to yes or no questions with a one word answer based solely on the post title. :lol: I never have though.

 

What is it we always say? If the question is "Is [this amount of work] rigorous enough?" the answer is almost always "NO!" ;)

[Luckymama]

Posts that have an outright 'I'm better than you because you make stupid choices' attitude.

 

Posts that bash other homeschool methods, including unschooling, when the posters haven't spent hours, weeks and months researching those methods to make an informed decision.

 

Quick to judge. Unwilling to step into someone's shoes to understand a different point of view.

 

Posts that push religious reasons for doing or not doing something with the OP specifically states that religious reasons aren't a factor in their lifestyle. An evangelical feel.

 

Um, basically all the negative ones that are intended to make other people feel bad.

 

:iagree:with your entire post and especially with the bolded section. I wish people would recognize and realize that every family is different, every child is different. Some might work best with workbooks, some with DVD courses, some with a parent sitting aside, some with unschooling of any flavor, some with co-ops and "enrichment" classes, some with private school, some with (gasp!) public school. Homeschoolers are not homogeneous!

 

:tongue_smilie:

[lionfamily1999]

The ones that seem obviously offensive to everyone except the OP and two other posters :lol:

 

Modesty.

[Ester Maria]

Generally, I have a pretty high tolerance for all kinds of attitudes and approaches - it doesn't mean I won't actively debate them, but they themselves will not cause me to shake my head; we're here to learn from each other.

Rather than shaking my head, I try to actively avoid reading things that I know might really irritate me.

 

However, if I had to pick a single pet peeve thing, it's probably something along these lines:

Or "My five-year-old cries about writing in paragraphs, yet I KNOW he can! How can I MAKE him? And don't tell me to back off!"

That, or asking curricula suggestions for 2-3 year olds, stuff of the kind.

 

ETA: Oh, and I forgot: the tyrrany of educational relativism. YES, so many things depend on a specific culture, specific family and specific culture, but I refuse to go extreme in this relativism and accept all choices as ultimately good educational choices.

Edited October 15, 2010 by Ester Maria

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Adrenal Fatigue.

 

I will go to my grave being PO'd about that one. It is all over chat boards.

 

It. Doesn't. Exist.

 

There are many conditions out there that have symptoms that manifest similarly to primary or secondary Addison's (which is NOT called Adrenal Fatigue, nor IS it Adrenal Fatigue), but are instead something completely different. They are difficult to diagnose, and often there is simply no cure or treatment for them beyond "slow down and take care of yourself." Most people don't want to hear that.

 

Signed,

 

Asta - who is in real, honest to god Adrenal FAILURE. As in, they are working at less that 5% capacity now. And this whole time they've been on their way to failure, I've NEVER been diagnosed with "adrenal fatigue".

 

(yeah, touchy subject, that one)

 

 

thanks for saying this. I have a friend who talked at length about her adrenal fatigue and me, having done absolutely ZERO study on such a thing, remained silent.

 

Now I know.

 

 

The posts that drive me crazy: Where people don't take the time to google for themselves. Easy information like "where can I find a repairman in my town for X problem?" or "How do you do X task?" and I or other people just google it. Do people really not know how to type that same question into google? I understand that sometimes they want opinion or personal experience. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about ones in which they only needed what was easily googled.

 

Odd.

Edited October 15, 2010 by ThatCyndiGirl

[angela in ohio]

The posts that drive me crazy: Where people don't take the time to google for themselves. Easy information like "where can I find a repairman in my town for X problem?" or "How do you do X task?" and I or other people just google it. Do people really not know how to type that same question into google? I understand that sometimes they want opinion or personal experience. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about ones in which they only needed what was easily googled.

 

My mother does this. :D She will call me and ask me to Google something. She has a laptop with internet access, probably right next to her. I want to say, "You know, you have Google, too." :001_smile:

[asta]

I haven't seen this one in a while but my absolute favorite is, during a discussion or debate:

 

 

"I'm right because countless thousands of other forum members PMed me to agree" and the 1st cousin "My PM box is full over this one", which is a rather passive/aggressive way of being passive/aggressive.

 

I love you Joanne. :001_smile:

 

 

a

[BMW]

Sorry... I am quite guilty of not googling some things and coming here for an answer. I probably do that a few times a year. But, I usually say so in my post... I admit upfront that I have not researched it and want to know what other's think or if they have a resource. I think I do this because sometimes google gives you so many choices and I get overwhelmed and I think "Hey, the gals at twtm have got this." Another time I might be in the middle of a crazy, busy schedule and don't have time to dig around google looking for the answer... and usually a few people here can respond and save me that bit of time.

 

But, yeah, I do that. Guilty.

[simka2]

Sorry... I am quite guilty of not googling some things and coming here for an answer. I probably do that a few times a year. But, I usually say so in my post... I admit upfront that I have not researched it and want to know what other's think or if they have a resource. I think I do this because sometimes google gives you so many choices and I get overwhelmed and I think "Hey, the gals at twtm have got this." Another time I might be in the middle of a crazy, busy schedule and don't have time to dig around google looking for the answer... and usually a few people here can respond and save me that bit of time.

 

But, yeah, I do that. Guilty.

 

Me too! Or sometimes I have googled like crazy, but don't specifically say it in my post. Then someone gives me the google answer and I'm like, "Oh crud... I should have mentioned that I 've already tried this a million different ways!!!" ;)

[stephanier.1765]

I shake my head at the cruel responses. I just don't get being so high handed or negative to the point of cruelness to another person. I wouldn't do it IRL so I wouldn't dream of doing it here. Even if I didn't agree and I felt I just had to respond, I would respond in the kindest way I possibly could.

[Stacy in NJ]

ETA: Oh, and I forgot: the tyrrany of educational relativism. YES, so many things depend on a specific culture, specific family and specific culture, but I refuse to go extreme in this relativism and accept all choices as ultimately good educational choices.

 

I agree with this. In the name of inclusion and tolerance we're suppose to see all educational choices as equal.

 

This is America, do what you wanna do, baby. But don't necessarily expect approval for all those choices, particularly on a Classical(neo if you must) Education chat board.

 

Also, I avoid the post that seem to be soap-opera like in their continuing story lines and those that seem aimed at appealing specifically at bandwagon for "like-minded" thinkers.

Edited October 15, 2010 by Stacy in NJ

[Guest ME-Mommy]

I shake my head at the cruel responses. I just don't get being so high handed or negative to the point of cruelness to another person. I wouldn't do it IRL so I wouldn't dream of doing it here. Even if I didn't agree and I felt I just had to respond, I would respond in the kindest way I possibly could.

 

:iagree: -- and there seems to be plenty of this going on lately. :001_huh:

[lionfamily1999]

Sorry... I am quite guilty of not googling some things and coming here for an answer. I probably do that a few times a year. But, I usually say so in my post... I admit upfront that I have not researched it and want to know what other's think or if they have a resource. I think I do this because sometimes google gives you so many choices and I get overwhelmed and I think "Hey, the gals at twtm have got this." Another time I might be in the middle of a crazy, busy schedule and don't have time to dig around google looking for the answer... and usually a few people here can respond and save me that bit of time.

 

But, yeah, I do that. Guilty.

I've done that, recently :p I pulled dd out of school and needed free resources *right now,* but I didn't trust myself to pick good ones :lol:

[Alphabetika]

I've been that new hyper wanting -to get- everything-right and wanting to start as soon as I possibly could homeschooling mom; BUT the "What curriculum should I use for my 2 yr old?" posts sometimes make me roll my eyes.:001_rolleyes:

 

Also the people stressing that they ruined their 5 yr olds because they haven't done enough school.

 

I try to remind myself I've btdt.

 

Shannon

 

:iagree:Posts with quotes like, "I'm worried that my six-year-old isn't grasping the flow of world history."

[DarcyB]

Often times it's a relatively new poster and that seems to make a difference too' date=' but I'm not sure why. :001_huh:[/quote']

 

It seems to be that way everywhere....post count seems to matter...as if low post counts mean you're lesser than everyone else there.

 

I think, in part, people are a bit jaded to hit and run posters, but in general, boards all over tend to be a bit 'inclusive' and newbies aren't always tolerated well.

[lionfamily1999]

It seems to be that way everywhere....post count seems to matter...as if low post counts mean you're lesser than everyone else there.

 

I think, in part, people are a bit jaded to hit and run posters, but in general, boards all over tend to be a bit 'inclusive' and newbies aren't always tolerated well.

Usually the trolls are weeded out before they hit 100 posts... I think some people would rather wait and see then jump right into conversing. I've made that mistake (took a low post count poster seriously) and ended up this side of mortified when they went troll.

 

It's a self preservation mechanism :lol:

[DarcyB]

Usually the trolls are weeded out before they hit 100 posts... I think some people would rather wait and see then jump right into conversing. I've made that mistake (took a low post count poster seriously) and ended up this side of mortified when they went troll.

 

It's a self preservation mechanism :lol:

 

But the problem in that is for those of us who aren't trolls....always feel neglected and unwelcomed, just because we hadn't had the foresight to come to the board upon it's inception LOL Not speaking from experience, of course :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

But the problem in that is for those of us who aren't trolls....always feel neglected and unwelcomed, just because we hadn't had the foresight to come to the board upon it's inception LOL Not speaking from experience, of course :D

 

Many newbies are now well established members of this board. I think that introducing yourself helps people to know that you have kids. I think that starting out with non-controversial posts help too. I'm a bit leery of a new poster who resurrects an old but controversial thread or starts a new thread on a very controversial topic.

[Elizabeth in WA]

ETA: Oh, and I forgot: the tyrrany of educational relativism. YES, so many things depend on a specific culture, specific family and specific culture, but I refuse to go extreme in this relativism and accept all choices as ultimately good educational choices.

 

This. I am especially surprised by posts on classical homeschooling boards specifically decrying people with high academic standards as being discouraging to others. Also, the related posts that assume anything done at all in the home is necessarily (academically) better than public school.

[Mejane]

I strongly dislike posts that read as a treatise. No "imo", "ime", "I believe...", etc., but "This is how it is!" We're all pretty intelligent here. We don't need to be told how/what to think. :glare:

[lionfamily1999]

But the problem in that is for those of us who aren't trolls....always feel neglected and unwelcomed, just because we hadn't had the foresight to come to the board upon it's inception LOL Not speaking from experience, of course :D

I know, it's tough. I'm not outright rude (I don't think), but I am leery. Really, trolls are bad, once burned twice shy and all that ;)

Many newbies are now well established members of this board. I think that introducing yourself helps people to know that you have kids. I think that starting out with non-controversial posts help too. I'm a bit leery of a new poster who resurrects an old but controversial thread or starts a new thread on a very controversial topic.

:iagree: And some of the newbies that have started with a controversial topic have turned out to be pretty good posters too, but they had to suffer troll accusations first. I think that's more of an internet issue, though (rather than just the hive).

[angela in ohio]

Many newbies are now well established members of this board. I think that introducing yourself helps people to know that you have kids. I think that starting out with non-controversial posts help too. I'm a bit leery of a new poster who resurrects an old but controversial thread or starts a new thread on a very controversial topic.

 

:iagree:

 

When I go to a new forum, just as I when I join into any established group IRL, I listen and learn first. I don't expect to have the same status or credibility as a longtime member. It keeps my feet our of my mouth, too. :D

[4kiddies]

It's not so much certain topics but when people tend to post only about certain topics. For example, there is a poster here who tends to only post about her female issues and never about other stuff. I mean, how many times can we discuss your female concerns? Ask your doctor!! I have no problem discussing medical concerns but there has to be other topics you want to discuss as well!

Edited October 15, 2010 by 4kiddies

[lionfamily1999]

:iagree:

 

When I go to a new forum, just as I when I join into any established group IRL, I listen and learn first. I don't expect to have the same status or credibility as a longtime member. It keeps my feet out of my mouth, too. :D

I know just what you mean. I didn't have any idea how diverse our world still is till I stepped in it a few times here :p

[Sophia]

This is such a diverse group, I love reading all threads because it's fascinating to me to "hear" how other people think.

 

However, the posts I do find kind of sad, are the ones written by newer homeschooling moms who have already burnt out themselves and their dc.

 

They kind of remind me of teens who won't take advice from adults but have to learn for themselves...then of course, later say "if only I'd listened."

 

**disclaimer** I was like this myself once upon a time! :blushing:

[Lisa R.]

Posters that simply post a link to their blog--stating that they have interesting news or something particularly insightful to share. If you want to find out what it is, you have to go to their blog.

 

I think if you have something to share on the board, share it on the board. While I don't have a blog, it seems like some bloggers seek to increase their blog's traffic flow through this board by putting these teasers out there.

 

(I do like that people put their blog's web-site below their signature. I look at many of the blogs this way.)

[Denisemomof4]

The posts that drive me crazy: Where people don't take the time to google for themselves. Easy information like "where can I find a repairman in my town for X problem?" or "How do you do X task?" and I or other people just google it. Do people really not know how to type that same question into google? I understand that sometimes they want opinion or personal experience. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about ones in which they only needed what was easily googled.

 

Odd.

 

You know what? :iagree: BUT, I'm also probably one of those people. I've had HORRIFIC insomnia lately and sometimes I ask here because I just can't sift through Google information because my brain is just SO fried.

 

I also hate the posts where people think they're better and right. All the time.

[Mommyfaithe]

OH COME ON NOW!! You all know which ones make me shake my head....

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=206931

 

I've calmed down a whole lot since that day....AND now I know there was an actual physical issue that I was dealing with. (got my diagnosis 2 days ago...and YES, there is a real reason for my exhaustion beyond normal exhaustion from a very hectic life. My doctor is totally amazed that I am not in the hospital being treated. My resilience is amazing....and now I really know how strong I actually am....

 

BUT, these are still the posts that make me shake my head. Yes, I get it, Yes, I know it is ok and preferable to make sure your educational choices are best for each child...but I still think of this place as a "homeschooling" retreat...a place to be safe in our homeschooling and bat around new ideas. I LOVE my friends who homeschool, public school, private school, do a bit of both...but somehow I would like to see a "homeschool only" lounge where we can cheer each other on...and not have that public school carrot hung in front of my face when I really want to shove those kids on the next yellow bus that goes by no matter where it happens to be heading....:auto:

 

 

~~Faithe

[Denisemomof4]

But the problem in that is for those of us who aren't trolls....always feel neglected and unwelcomed, just because we hadn't had the foresight to come to the board upon it's inception LOL Not speaking from experience, of course :D

 

stick around while. These feelings will pass.;)

[SquirrellyMama]

I've learned to not always open posts with titles that say: "If you believe in xyz can you tell me why. I'm just curious."

 

I know some people have very pure motives... Other times it seems like the OP just wants a chance to let people know how wrong they are for believing xyz or having xyz religion or xyz food in the house, etc...

[angela in ohio]

Posters that simply post a link to their blog--stating that they have interesting news or something particularly insightful to share. If you want to find out what it is, you have to go to their blog.

 

I think if you have something to share on the board, share it on the board. While I don't have a blog, it seems like some bloggers seek to increase their blog's traffic flow through this board by putting these teasers out there.

 

(I do like that people put their blog's web-site below their signature. I look at many of the blogs this way.)

 

Oh, yes. Do not use this board to drive your blog readership up. Link it in your signature. If we like what you have to say, we'll visit. :001_smile:

[Crissy]

I dislike posts about the friend/sister-in-law/neighbor and her *shocking* choices in parenting/childcare/schooling.

Equally frustrating are the follow-up posts that run along the lines of, "I know! I would *never* do that with my child!"

 

It all feels like a terrible game of, "I'm a better Mommy than She!"