Are romantic thoughts normal for a 6.5 girl? (Not a media-viewing debate please)

[BikeBookBread]

PDG (6 1/2) has always had a bit of the dramatic about her.

 

Last Christmas (when she was not yet 5), she watched Prince Caspian. I gasped when she cooed at the screen, "He's sooooo handsome. Do you think he would marry me?" After talking to some friends with little girls, I learned that their little girls also had started talking about "handsomeness" at age 5-ish.

 

It happened again after she was watched a BBC Robin Hood earlier this summer. "Do you think he would marry me? I just think he is sooooo brave."

 

She's been asking about how DH and I "fell in love". We are affectionate in front of each other. DH often will kiss me and say, "who is the only one allowed to kiss mommy like that?" and she'll say, "Daddy!"

 

So THIS came out of her mouth today: "Mommy, I know I'm too little, but sometimes I just get all (she acted out being goo-goo eyed and swooning) when I think about KISSING..." Seriously, is this normal thinking for a 6 1/2 year old?

 

We don't have cable TV so she isn't watching those Disney shows where the young girls are goo goo over boys; she's not watching "grown up" TV, well, other than ridiculous and stupid Wipeout with Dad :glare: and an occasional and pre-screened Doctor Who episode (she has a thing about David Tennant...she's told me she wants to marry a man in a brown suit and who apparently enunciates his words very well...)

 

So, are "romantic" thoughts normal for a 6 1/2 year old???

Edited September 1, 2010 by BikeBookBread

[OH_Homeschooler]

It seems normal to me. DD8 started talking about getting married to a friend of hers when she was 3, and called kissing "being married." (I always tell her she can get married in 20 years). And I believe this coincided with when we showed her the place we got married and she was introduced to some of the Disney princesses and their brand of romance.

[....]

My kids are pretending to be a wasp family (yeah, I know :glare:), so I have a minute to write.

 

I think this is totally normal. In fact, I have teased my husband about the fact that in 1st grade, I had a wedding in our sandbox with a neighbor boy and my mom made us popcorn. :D In 2nd grade, we had several "weddings" in our back yard under the swing set monkey bars. I guess I had married 4 or 5 boys before we all kinda outgrew the "pretend wedding" gig. :svengo:

 

I think this is normal. Oh, and I've been married for 10 years now (to just one man :tongue_smilie: and there was no sandbox or popcorn at our wedding) and I'm fairly normal (OK, I'll say fairly :lol:).

[Karen in CO]

Yeah - my 5yo has her husband picked out already. I think the romantic feeling at that age are a reflection of your relationship with your husband. One of those role-playing developmental things.

 

Now when my 9yo starts to notice that the boys in her fencing class are cute and kind of make her have butterflies in her stomach when she thinks about them, that is different. She has wisely decided that she is still young and would much rather be friends with them. :)

Edited September 1, 2010 by Karen in CO

[AuntieM]

My younger daughter is like this. I think it's a pesonality trait, at least in part. She is a super-confident hopeless romantic. Has been since I can remember. She's five.

 

My older daughter has never been this way. I do notice that certain boys seem to catch her eye, and nowadays she pays a bit more attention to what she wears and if her hair looks okay, but she's never been a swooner.

 

For my little, I just pray that Mr. Right comes along fairly early.

[hornblower]

We didn't experience this with either of our kids. It wasn't my exp either. I was closer to 9 or 10 before I started thinking even remotely like that.

[Plucky]

It varies from kid to kid. My youngest son had a "girlfriend" at homeschool PE when he was 8. She adored him and he was fond of her. He was relieved when we quit PE though he told me because he just wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. LOL

[secular_mom]

Yes, it is absolutely normal.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I don't really know where the line of normal is. Yes, little girls dream of "prince charming" and I think it is good for them to consider the qualities they will want in a man one day. They practice things like cleaning and baby care and it seems normal that they plan to kiss a husband.

 

At some point, I think it's too much.

 

My daughter never had anything of the sort, but she's 18 (this month) and still not interested in guys so that may not be telling. And I wasn't normal in the opposite direction.

 

Sorry I can't be more help.

[elegantlion]

I vote normal. I kissed a boy in kindergarten, it was mutual thing. I also remember having "crushes" at a young age. Speed Racer was the first one, Robin Hood was another, although I think it was Errol Flynn. Overall I'm a pretty affectionate person, but it didn't translate into "slutty" behavior it that's a concern.

 

I was pretty naive and innocent actually, but my parents had a pretty firm morality that they instilled in me, so that helped.

 

I married a guy that reminds of Speed Racer, which is quite funny to me.

[elegantlion]

My kids are pretending to be a wasp family (yeah, I know :glare:), so I have a minute to write.

 

 

Wasps??? Why not bees? :lol::lol:

[BikeBookBread]

My kids are pretending to be a wasp family

 

Oh, this made me laugh. I am picturing big stingers and lots of chasing.

[Ester Maria]

None of my daughters started to perceive male creatures as potentially something other than play companions until almost double-digits - and even then, it was more sporadically than a regular occurance. Sure, I got plenty of those "When I grow up and marry" nonsense that kids talk, but no obsession with concrete male media or real life figures and I didn't notice that boys were a recurring motive in their talks or anything.

 

My eldest is 13 and a VERY feminine child (as in, we already started fighting about skirtlengths, sleevelengths, make-up etc.), but so far it's self-centered, I don't think she seriously thinks about relationships or guys - at least she doesn't show to - though they have been popping up more in the recent year(s).

It's probably a character trait, but still, I have one of those girly girls at home and at 6 the only thing that was different was that she payed more attention to her looks and grace than her sister. Definitely no talks about kissing, etc.

 

DH and I, though, while not hiding our kisses or hugs from children, do try to keep a low profile around them.

[Carrie12345]

My girls have been talking about imaginary boyfriends since they were maybe 3 and 4, and I'm pretty sure the only way they picked up on the notion was through fairy tales and irl couples.

 

I don't think it's any less normal than thinking about their future profession or thinking some cats are prettier than others.

[BikeBookBread]

Speed Racer was the first one

 

Thinking back, Speed Racer is the first time I remember thinking, "handsome" too.

[mrs.m]

It happened again after she was watched a BBC Robin Hood earlier this summer. "Do you think he would marry me? I just think he is sooooo brave."

 

She's been asking about how DH and I "fell in love". We are affectionate in front of each other. DH often will kiss me and say, "who is the only one allowed to kiss mommy like that?" and she'll say, "Daddy!"

 

<snip>

 

(she has a thing about David Tennant...she's told me she wants to marry a man in a brown suit and who apparently enunciates his words very well...)

 

So, are "romantic" thoughts normal for a 6 1/2 year old???

 

She has good taste!!! :lol:

In my experience perfectly normal. My five year son has crushes and wants to know all about marriage and kissing. My DD was that way around that age too. It's apart of figuring out how this world works and where they fit in!

[....]

Wasps??? Why not bees? :lol::lol:

 

Yeah, my kids are soooo weird sometimes. We still have reading and LA to finish. Wasp Time needs to end soon. I don't think wasps do language arts. :tongue_smilie:

[simka2]

I vote "NORMAL!" I think I was like that as a kid...maybe even worse.

 

My dd on the other hand takes after her dad and is just not interested yet. If it doesn't have 4 legs, a long mane and tail, and eats hay..it might as well not exist:D!

 

Edited to add... that dh and I are obnoxiously affectionate in front of the kids!!!

[Lolly]

Oh yes, perfectly normal!:001_smile:

[cathmom]

At that age, my dd was going on and on about how she was going to marry "the Garrett guy" from Quest for Camelot.

[CLHCO]

My oldest two never acted this way. Never. At all. I think one kind of notices there are boys out there now, but she won't admit it. :tongue_smilie: They're 16, btw.

 

My youngest... Oh. My. Word. She's always trying to get boys to dance with her, talks about getting married, looking pretty at church for the other boys... She's FIVE, for crying-out-loud. She obviously doesn't get this from her sisters. We have a looooong road ahead with that one! :lol:

 

I think it's a personality thing. Her thoughts are innocent. She wants to be a pretty princess and a pretty princess needs a prince. She adores Daddy and wants to know why he can't marry her when she grows up, 'cause he's the only one who agrees to dance with her when she pesters. Her brother looks at her like she's insane to even suggest it.

 

I don't let it bother me. I just keep her feet on the ground and guide her towards the right thoughts on this as she matures in understanding.

[sparrow]

I vote normal. I kissed a boy in kindergarten, it was mutual thing. I also remember having "crushes" at a young age. Speed Racer was the first one, Robin Hood was another, although I think it was Errol Flynn. Overall I'm a pretty affectionate person, but it didn't translate into "slutty" behavior it that's a concern.

 

I was pretty naive and innocent actually, but my parents had a pretty firm morality that they instilled in me, so that helped.

 

I married a guy that reminds of Speed Racer, which is quite funny to me.

 

Ha! I've never met anyone else that crushed on Speed Racer! I thought he was so dreamy....and I was all of age 4, probably! I moved directly on to my Donny Osmond stage, who kind of looks like Speed Racer :D. I got butterflies when the Donny & Marie show was on. I ended up marrying a blond with green eyes, though.

 

As for the original question, yes, in my experience, it seems pretty normal. My dd shows no interest in romance. My ds, on the other hand, is very chivalric and has always had a thing for girls (and women!). He's 10 now, but informed us yesterday that he'd stick around for his sister's soccer practice because, "how else will I meet the girl I'll marry and have 4 kids with?" :001_huh::001_huh::001_huh: I asked when he thought all this would be happening and he said when he is 36. At least he's not rushing into anything :D.

[ChristusG]

Dd6 doesn't think about boys this way at all. One time she told me that if she has to get married when she grows up, then she wants to marry Shaggy from the Scooby Doo cartoon. :001_huh: But other than that, no talk of boys, romantic, etc. I was the same way as DD....at this age I had boys as best friends and nothing more.

[Mimm]

I think my nine year old's first crush (several years ago) was Prince Charming from Shrek 2. Not sure what that says about her taste in men. :p

 

I also found a picture she had drawn of two stick people holding hand and was labeled with her name and a boy from school she has known for five years. It said "Me and my future boyfriend (hopefully)". She hung it on the wall but them seemed embarrassed when I noticed. For someone whose recent obsessions are spying and secret codes, she's not terribly subtle.

[jujsky]

Oh, it's normal! My friends and I were shocked when my son squealed on his sister & our friends' little boy (both 5). They would kiss each other whenever we weren't around -- like if they were playing in one of their rooms, or if we were in another room & they were camped out in front of the TV. We knew they had little crushes on each other & always talked about getting married, but we NEVER thought we would have to institute a "no kissing" rule at 5!!!!!!!!

[BikeBookBread]

So does anyone discourage this type of talk? I am not saying that I would do that (I don't think her little musings are bad), but I'm just curious... Anyone say, "you're too young to be talking about..." kissing, dating, marriage, etc...

[Remudamom]

Okay, wait..... I don't want to get off subject, but who is Speed Racer?

[sparrow]

Okay, wait..... I don't want to get off subject, but who is Speed Racer?

 

A cartoon from the late sixties. I was watching in the mid seventies. :001_smile:

[Giraffe]

My niece fell "in crush" with my soon-to-be DH when I first started bringing him 'round, and she was about 5 or 6. Holding his hand, always wanting to sit next to him at the dinner table, going all goo-goo eyed and dreamy around him.

 

She grew out of it. I didn't. :001_wub:

[secular_mom]

So does anyone discourage this type of talk? I am not saying that I would do that (I don't think her little musings are bad), but I'm just curious... Anyone say, "you're too young to be talking about..." kissing, dating, marriage, etc...

No way- if someone IS talking about such things, then those things are obviously on their mind and I wouldn't dream of telling them they can't talk about it. I want my kids to feel comfortable discussing things like that with me. One of my youngers has a 'thing' for certain characters on Little Big Planet- it drives her brother crazy to hear her talking about 'the handsome guy'. They play the game online, so other people join them sometimes. I think it's a hoot. (we have chat disabled on their logins).

 

Anyway, I really don't like it when people dismiss my thoughts- I remember feeling the same way as a child. I wouldn't want my kids to think there is something 'wrong' about such thoughts, and I surely wouldn't want to give them the impression that they need to hide such things from me.

[BikeBookBread]

No way- if someone IS talking about such things, then those things are obviously on their mind and I wouldn't dream of telling them they can't talk about it. I want my kids to feel comfortable discussing things like that with me. One of my youngers has a 'thing' for certain characters on Little Big Planet- it drives her brother crazy to hear her talking about 'the handsome guy'. They play the game online, so other people join them sometimes. I think it's a hoot. (we have chat disabled on their logins).

 

Anyway, I really don't like it when people dismiss my thoughts- I remember feeling the same way as a child. I wouldn't want my kids to think there is something 'wrong' about such thoughts, and I surely wouldn't want to give them the impression that they need to hide such things from me.

 

I agree...just wondering.

[Gooblink]

I only have 2 boys and they are not in the least bit interested in girls. However, some of their friends started talking about "girlfriends" when they were only 1st or 2nd grade.

 

It sounds like a nice testament to the example you're setting of a loving relationship between husband and wife.

 

As for discouraging that kind of talk...no, I wouldn't point it out as some sort of teachable moment, but I wouldn't be overly-encouraging, either.

 

:001_smile:

[Pippen]

Yeah - my 5yo has her husband picked out already. I think the romantic feeling at that age are a reflection of your relationship with your husband. One of those role-playing developmental things. . :)

 

My thought is that it's temperament. I wasn't like that at all when I was young, but my daughter who is a much more romantic, artsy type was.

[secular_mom]

 

As for discouraging that kind of talk...no, I wouldn't point it out as some sort of teachable moment, but I wouldn't be overly-encouraging, either.

 

:001_smile:

Ah, yes, I remember 'those' parents from when I was in school. "Oh, just look at them- they make such a CUTE couple". (talking about other kids, not me, LOL). There were so many 'popular' kids who were really rather pushed into having a girlfriend/boyfriend starting in first grade (well, I didn't go to K, so it might have started then). They even encouraged them to kiss. Blech.

[6packofun]

I think it's normal for a little girl who has both the personality *and* the environmental "support", so to speak, for such strong, outwardly expressed romanticism. So I think that to a degree, what mom and dad allow/encourage/demonstrate/gush about, etc. does play a part. It seems wise to matter-of-factly downplay the whole romance thing at such a young age, IMO, and just occasionally redirect to other aspects of movies, books and even conversation so that it's not obsessive.

 

My "normal" girls have not been like that, but neither was I, although I *loved* Cinderella. :)

[Rosie_0801]

The other kids were playing kiss chasey at that age and I very much doubt adults taught them to do it!

 

Rosie

[Jenny in GA]

Oh, this made me laugh. I am picturing big stingers and lots of chasing.

 

 

I thought she might they were pretending to be White and Protestant.

 

Jenny

[annandatje]

 

So, are "romantic" thoughts normal for a 6 1/2 year old???

 

Yes, it is within the realm of normal. Living in an isolated region without television, I experienced those feelings you describe as early as around 5, and I was anything but dramatic. I distinctly recall that it was before we moved to a more populated area so I could attend first grade. The goods news is that they eventually subsided and did not resurface until late adolescence.

[dangermom]

I think that's on the spectrum of normal. I never did it, but both my girls started picking out husbands when they were about 4 and continued through about 6. Usually they picked their friends who they thought were cute. One time it was "N, and we'll be astronauts together to the moon." I was the designated babysitter for the kids while they were gone in space. Another boy got picked because he was cute and good at playing Star Wars. :D

[LittleIzumi]

Yep! My mom wrote in my journal about me getting married to a neighborhood boy when I was I think four? And I had a "boyfriend" in kindergarten. (And I kissed him! :eek: 5-year-old kiss. Nothing gross, lol.) Dd will be 5 this month and she has talked about getting married so she can be a mommy for months. Of course, half the time she thinks she's marrying daddy (sorry kiddo, he's mine :lol:).