I feel so alone in this...

[wendybird]

I sort of agree and sort of don't/ We do have a Wii, and a DVD player. The kids watch a few movies a week, play Wii on the (Wii)kends ;) for a bit, and play computer games a little during the week. The time they spend outside, or drawing, or playing far outweighs it. When it is time to turn off the technology they do fine.

However...when friends come over for playdates video games are not an option. If it is a sleepover then they get to play for an hour after bedtime.It is a treat, they enjoy it, yet they play other stuff for the most part. I have one family that tends to plug them in when they go over there. I am talking walk in the door and turn on a game with a tv playing in the background.I limit playtime at that house because they do turn into video zombies.

SO I am on the moderation wagon. We do what we do, and I think any parent can do what they want and that's ok. I hope you can find some like minded friends for your kiddos!:001_smile:

[PinkInTheBlue]

We have a wonderful time as a family playing games together. We do much, much more than just play games but it is a wonderful family activity for us; very bonding. As long as it's not all they do all the time I know that playing games together with friends can also be a fun, wonderful thing. My boys and their friends are always laughing and having a great time when they play.

 

However, years ago in my past the only game players I knew were nearly addicted to games; hours and hours a day. I was totally and completely against them because I believed moderation seemed to be almost impossible for gamers. I was wrong. It's not uncommon for it to be days and days since someone has played and then go through days where we play together a bit almost everyday.

 

If it's your conviction for your home and you want to continue that decision, go for it. Don't let anyone change your mind. I just wanted to let you know *I* was mistaken and the openness to change my mind became a good idea. :)

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Mine get up and go play. They watched cartoons this morning then went out and played kickball together. No dopamine. Perhaps with yours it's because they use it so little that they can't get control over it.

Huh, IDK all of us in this family have trouble getting into habits and not thinking of anything else to do. Mine is this forum. (You would have never guessed.)

[Corraleno]

If your kids are involved in sports and have a variety of interests, video games will be just one of the many things they do.

The fact that this is true for your kids does not mean it's true for all kids. That's like saying as long as a child plays sports and has a variety of interests, they'll never get involved with alcohol or drugs. If only it were that simple.

 

Mine get up and go play. They watched cartoons this morning then went out and played kickball together. No dopamine. Perhaps with yours it's because they use it so little that they can't get control over it.

Right. So if you had a family member who really struggled with alcohol, and someone told you that no one in their family had ever had trouble with alcohol, so the reason your relative couldn't handle it is because they probably didn't drink enough, how would you respond?

 

Is it really that hard to accept that for some kids game addiction is a real, biochemical issue, not just a figment of some uptight parent's imagination? :confused:

 

Jackie

[Corraleno]

oops, duplicate post

Edited August 28, 2010 by Corraleno

[Joker]

Is it really that hard to accept that for some kids game addiction is a real, biochemical issue, not just a figment of some uptight parent's imagination? :confused:

 

Jackie

 

I'm not who you directed this question but I did respond that mine play games. The above is not hard for me to accept but I didn't like the OP referring to those that do play games as being "anti-social and only staring at a screen." I understand some can become more addicted but that doesn't mean it's bad for everyone.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Most of the kids that I see playing video games together are doing exactly that - playing them TOGETHER. They're competing, taking turns, cheering each other on, teasing each other if someone's character gets mowed down, stuff like that. ;)

 

Yes, this has been my experience too, for the most part.

 

We have a lot of technology here, including a Wii. We limit screen time (any screen time--TV/Wii/Computer). My 7 yo is starting to budget his because he likes to save time to play with DH in the evening. I let him play a little more when he has friends over or when he goes over to friend's homes.

 

So far all of his friend's parents have been on the same page as us as far as only E rated games. Some are more strict than we are--for example we have the Lego Harry Potter game, and one friend's parents don't allow Harry Potter so we just don't play that one when that friend is here. But DS is just 7, so I'm sure this will grow to be more of an issue as he gets older.

 

This week it's been really, really hot here, so I eased up on some of my restrictions. They opted to do something non-screen anyway, so I feel like we're okay.

Edited August 28, 2010 by LemonPie

[Parrothead]

The only time I restrict TV, computer or video games is when dd's friends are over. Her besties don't have the Wii so when they come here they want to play. I've got the friends here so dd has something to do besides look at a screen, so they get 30 minutes about half way through their time here.

 

I'm one of the people who don't get why other people think video games are "evil." But I've had every home gaming system since Pong except the Xbox and the PS3. Before we started streaming Netflix through the Wii the game consoles could, and did, sit for weeks at a time without being turned on. Other times dd and I have sat here and played for a week straight only coming up for food, showers and sleep.

 

I often wonder if it is a boy thing. I've never heard of a girl suffering from video game compulsion/addiction.

[katemary63]

The fact that this is true for your kids does not mean it's true for all kids. That's like saying as long as a child plays sports and has lots of interests, they'll never get involved with alcohol or drugs.

 

 

Well, I agree with your first sentence, but comparing video games to alcohol or drugs is kind of over the top IMHO. Anything can be addictive. Forbiding something just because it MIGHT be addictive for SOME people with no evidence that it is addictive to a particular child is kind of silly. Video games aren't the boogy man in most instances. They are not something to be feared as some seem to.

 

If someone's own child is effected negatively by video games, then by all means, eliminate them. That is perfectly reasonable. But many blanket statements and insinuations have been made about how video games are bad in general and/ or a negative influence for most kids and it's just not true. That's all. Each parent should decide for themselves. I just think deciding that video games are bad for people in general is a bit silly. Honestly, they are just the new board game. Pretty soon, board games will be unavailable like LPs. :D It's the age of technology. It just is.

[angela in ohio]

don't get me wrong, we aren't stopping the kids from playing with friends...but what a waste of play time with friends if all you are doing is staring at a screen...I mean..really...people criticize us for our kids being homeschooled and not being social...but when they WANT to be social with other kids...they are being ANTI-social becasue they are staring at a screen. I can't figure it out. I am not going to tell anybody how to parent...but I was just curious if there was ANYBODY out there on my page. Thanks for all of the replies!

 

I agree with this. My c have a limited amount of time with one of heir cousins. My sil only wants us to come over there, but then dn will just stare at Call of Duty the whole time we are there. He likes to play games, I know, because he has played them here. But the call of the screen is obvioously too much for him.

 

Our dc don't watch TV, except for a weekly family-friendly movie. We ahve a Wii. They use the Wii Fit Plus for 20 minutes a day, and they play Wii Sports one night a week. They are "oout of it" sometimes with others their age, not knowing the R rated movies and teh latest video games. But they find other things to talk about. The real divide is that my girls have nothing in common with most girls they know, because they aren't into boys and pop music. :001_smile:

[5LittleMonkeys]

DH and I have incredible fun playing Lego Star Wars or Lego Indiana Jones with my two oldest girls. We can all play together and it is a hoot! The older girls just recently got the game Viva Pinata too and they have been taking turns playing it, encouraging each other, and conversing about it. My dd11 was upstairs with my dd7 the other day and they had set the room up and were acting out the scenario of the video game. We also recently played a game called Portal that is basically a visual critical thinking puzzle. The girls really liked playing and giving each other hints to complete the puzzles. We had a friendly family competition to see who could complete all the levels first. (I won.;))

 

Yeah, nothing anti-social about it in our house. Nor are they just staring at a screen. If you've never played a good gaming system game I'm sure you might think it is a mind-numbing waste of time, but it actually takes quite a bit of brain power, hand\eye coordination and manual dexterity to play a lot of these games. I'd much rather interact with a video game experience with a family member than sit and watch some of the c*** that is on tv (now that's mind-numbing). We don't have cable at all. We prefer interactive entertainment.

 

If you have good solid reasons for not wanting to allow your dc to play video games then stick to your guns, but please don't assume that all of us gamers are wasting our time sitting on a couch 24\7 letting our brains turn to mush. It's all about the balance.:D

[amy g.]

We used to have a poster who had one child, a girl. She would get so insulted and irate when anyone chose to limit screen time for their family.

 

I never said, "yeah, honey, if I only had girls I wouldn't need to either." but I sure wanted too.

 

I try to take a middle of the road approach, but it would not be an issue at all for my girls.

 

Don't ask me why, but mine are just not as obsessive.

[parias1126]

I don't see anything wrong with video games. I think you are looking at it in a negative aspect. We are video game lovers here. We have every video game system in our house (some more then one). That doesn't mean we spend every minute we have playing video games. The video game time the children have is balanced. They are only allowed to play video games if they have done what is required of them (i.e., schoolwork, cleaned their rooms, finished their chores). Video games are a reward in our house. My DS6 has an absolute passion for video games. I honestly don't know why some think video games "harm" children's brains. My DS6 just got a game called Mod Nation Racers for the PS3. I am still trying to understand how he can create some of the things he creates in this game. He has made race tracks that are just unbelievable with towns in the center of them and everything....huge hills, tunnels, and so much. It is just too detailed to even begin to describe. I was so proud of him when I saw what he built. I don't even think I could do that and neither could his father. He shared his newly created track online (a couple of them) and they had more downloads then any other. I am sure most wouldn't believe they were built by a 6 year old boy! I was in awe over what he did and very proud (to say the least). He is extremely creative and this game lets him explore that.

 

As far as the Wii, when they are playing that together, they are laughing, playing, being competitive and completely interactive with each other (no anti-social anywhere)!

 

I also LOVE video games. I play them everyday (in my FREE time only, of course). I'm assuming that you are speaking as someone who has probably never actually played a video game yourself? A lot of video games are actually pretty difficult. One of my favorites on my Nintendo DS is Pokemon (YES, pokemon! LOL). There is so much thought that goes into that game and so many things you need to "study" and learn to be able to play the game effectively. I needed a game guide to get me through the last game and I am an adult......so any child that plays it....is a pretty bright child.

 

Anyway, I would say maybe explore another avenue and just try it? Let your kids play with those other children. Its a Wii game.....Wii games are very family oriented (the majority of them). Trust me... I know this from experience. I think last count we had 63 Wii games! One of my friends even lost 50 lbs already just from using a Wii. My 8 year old DD lost about 10 lbs from playing "Just Dance" on the Wii. :001_smile: Its the new homeschool PE class! :lol:

[Corraleno]

Well, I agree with your first sentence, but comparing video games to alcohol or drugs is kind of over the top IMHO.

Why? Alcohol is legal, it's extremely popular, it's heavily advertised and socially accepted, and many people drink socially with no problem whatsoever; only a small percentage become addicts. Prescription sleep medications are legal, heavily advertised, widely used, and most people use them as directed; a small percentage become addicted. How are either of those different from a gaming addiction?

 

If you've ever seen kids who are seriously addicted to gaming, they don't look much different from druggies: pale, spacey, lethargic, agitated and irritable when not "plugged in," and pretty disinterested in anything other than gaming. They can lose their jobs, lose relationships, lose everything. I've seen it happen in my own family.

 

 

Anything can be addictive. Forbiding something just because it MIGHT be addictive for SOME people with no evidence that it is addictive to a particular child is kind of silly. Video games aren't the boogy man in most instances. They are not something to be feared as some seem to.

Some parents don't want their children to play with other children who don't share their religious values, or they don't want their children to be exposed to certain types of content in books/movies/music, or they don't want their teens to be around teens of the opposite sex, because they believe these things have the potential to harm their kids. People here respect those decisions — no one tells them they're "just being silly" because there's no evidence that their particular child will be harmed by that particular exposure. I don't see the OP's decision to limit her own children's exposure to videogames to be any different.

 

Jackie

[anneofalamo]

I had posted that the kids don't play in my house, nor do they go to others, and had to smile at our differences(for those who mentioned my oddness :lol: I am indeed odd)...as a child my mom and parents of my friends in the neighborhood we didn't play at their homes either!

 

We were outside constantly, we all went in to eat lunch at our own home, and once in a while we would have dinner at a friends, but not often.

I seem to remember birthday parties, but I am of the generations, that meant dresses and church shoes for the party.

 

That being said, the kids in our neighborhood play with my brood all the time, they will ask now and again to come in, and my children say, "why, when everything we need is out here?"

River, orchards, parks, bikes and imaginations!

[Corraleno]

I don't see anything wrong with video games. I think you are looking at it in a negative aspect. We are video game lovers here. ...My DS6 has an absolute passion for video games. I honestly don't know why some think video games "harm" children's brains.

 

Because there has been some research suggesting that it may in fact "fundamentally alter" children's brains:

He points to one study conducted at Stanford University, which showed that heavy multimedia users have trouble filtering out irrelevant information — and trouble focusing on tasks. Other research, he says, says that heavy video game playing may release dopamine, which is thought to be involved with addictive behaviors.

 

"When you check your information, when you get a buzz in your pocket, when you get a ring — you get what they call a dopamine squirt. You get a little rush of adrenaline," he says. "Well, guess what happens in its absence? You feel bored. You're conditioned by a neurological response: 'Check me check me check me check me.' "

 

Richtel says that research is ongoing, particularly into how heavy technology may fundamentally alter the frontal lobe during childhood, how addictive behavior can lead to poor decision-making and how the brain is rewired when it is constantly inundated with new information.

 

No one is saying that moderate game use is disastrous for every child, but to totally dismiss parental concerns in this area as silly or uninformed is, itself, uninformed.

 

Jackie

[angela in ohio]

We used to have a poster who had one child, a girl. She would get so insulted and irate when anyone chose to limit screen time for their family.

 

That brings back memories. ;)

[Heidi]

We do not have cable or video games here, nor do we allow our kids to watch cable or play video games at friends houses. If they want to play with the neighbor kids they have to play here or outside at their house. Thankfully the neighbors have changed their rules to suit ours a little more and only allow video games on the weekends, so the girls can play inside during the week. It is just a waste of time in my opinion. I agree that if you're going over to play with your friends then you need to PLAY with your friends, not stare at a screen.

[Jackie in NE]

We don't have TV reception or any video games or anything. I just don't like what it does to my kids' attitude. It seems to make them cranky. We do watch videos on week-ends (after the sun goes down). If it's still light outside, we play outside. I figure they have enough sitting around time during school. One unexpected consequence of our limited TV/computer time is that my kids just CANNOT WAIT for their computer history classes to start with VP. They are so excited!

[Brigitte]

my husband and I do not think video games, the Wii, lots of computer or TV time for the children is a good thing at all and most everyone around us (including many of the kid's friends) have these items and use them all of the time...and it is getting harder and harder for us to allow our kids to go play with friends because of this. Am I alone in this...just wondering.

 

Nope, you are not alone. I feel the same way.

[sparrow]

I don't think you're alone in feeling this way, as evidenced in the thread. Our family is probably a little more lenient on the issue. We do have some rules, but nothing is written in stone. TV doesn't typically come on until after 7pm. Limited game playing.....after you've practiced piano, etc.:001_smile:

 

:iagree: MOst kids play with them like they play with anything else. They splurge for a while and then move on to something else. My kids sometimes forgot we had the games. Then they'd get them out and and start up again. It was never any big deal. If your kids are involved in sports and have a variety of interests, video games will be just one of the many things they do. Our kids had every game system you can think of over the years and many, many games. We never had specific rules about use, but if I noticed someone playing too much I'd say, "Hey, go do something else for a while." and they would. To be comepletely honest, if I think about it, my kids played their games a lot less then I thought they would. It was no big deal. Just another fun thing to do sometimes.

 

 

The same thing goes on in my house. My dh is a gamer, so we have just about every game console known to mankind, yet the kids go through periods of having no interest in playing them to wanting some game time everyday. Dd started using Wii Fit this week and it told her she had not "visited" in 68 days :D

 

yes, exactly! Whenever our kids do get to watch a video or play on the computer, when it is all over, they act like zombies...can't quite figure out what to do now...they sort looked like they have been drugged.

 

Wow. I guess if my kids had that reaction, I would restrict, too. I've found our kids are engaged when we watch/play things with them. We're watching Doctor Who as a family currently.

 

Because there has been some research suggesting that it may in fact "fundamentally alter" children's brains:

 

 

 

 

Wait! The new Donkey Kong record holder is a plastic surgeon :D. From that article:

 

A clinical study published in the February 2007 Archives of Surgery found a direct correlation between gaming and proficiency in laparoscopic surgery. Researchers said surgeons who played video games at least three hours a week in their past were 27% faster than were nongamers and had 37% fewer errors.

Dr. Chien believes the correlation exists both ways. Laparoscopic surgery "does feel like you're playing a video game because what you're looking at is actually an altered version of what you are doing."

[tofuscramble]

Why? Alcohol is legal, it's extremely popular, it's heavily advertised and socially accepted, and many people drink socially with no problem whatsoever; only a small percentage become addicts. Prescription sleep medications are legal, heavily advertised, widely used, and most people use them as directed; a small percentage become addicted. How are either of those different from a gaming addiction?

 

If you've ever seen kids who are seriously addicted to gaming, they don't look much different from druggies: pale, spacey, lethargic, agitated and irritable when not "plugged in," and pretty disinterested in anything other than gaming. They can lose their jobs, lose relationships, lose everything. I've seen it happen in my own family.

 

 

 

Some parents don't want their children to play with other children who don't share their religious values, or they don't want their children to be exposed to certain types of content in books/movies/music, or they don't want their teens to be around teens of the opposite sex, because they believe these things have the potential to harm their kids. People here respect those decisions — no one tells them they're "just being silly" because there's no evidence that their particular child will be harmed by that particular exposure. I don't see the OP's decision to limit her own children's exposure to videogames to be any different.

 

Jackie

Hahaha, this is ridiculous! You can become addicted to absolutely anything! Video game addiction gets more attention than addiction to many other things but don't fool yourself into thinking games are any more harmful than say television or the multitude of other things out there. Compulsion is something that people are predisposed to. Chances are, if you're a video game addict you could easily have become addicted to something else instead.

 

The bad media surrounding video games is really silly. Video games are no more harmful than television and music. They are another form of entertainment and should be used with the same respect and caution that you would movies and music. If you wouldn't let your child watch SAW II then you probably shouldn't be letting your child play Silent Hill either KWIM? I really wish more people understood that.

[lllll]

..

[Corraleno]

Hahaha, this is ridiculous! ....The bad media surrounding video games is really silly. Video games are no more harmful than television and music.

Numerous clinical studies have found that (1) deficits in dopamine processing are associated with both ADHD and addictive behavior, (2) a specific genetic allele causing dopamine processing deficits has been associated with a wide variety of addictions, including drug & alcohol addiction, and (3) a 2007 study correlated the same genetic marker with excessive gaming.

 

A 2007 study published in the Journal of Addiction Medicine showed a "significantly higher prevalence" of dopamine processing deficits in the "excessive gaming" group compared to the control subjects:

 

The Taq1A1 allele of DRD2 has been studied extensively with respect to addiction. Studies have consistently found a higher prevalence of the A1 allele in individuals with alcohol and cocaine abuse, in addition to pathologic gambling... The results of this study are consistent with the dopamine deficient compensation hypothesis and the reward deficiency syndrome as it relates to the Taq1A1 allele....Continuing the parallel with substance abuse, we suggest that [excessive gaming] subjects with Taq1A1 allele would seek video game play as a means to compensate for deficiencies in the dopamine system.

 

As expected, the reward dependence (RD) scores were significantly higher in the [excessive gaming] group than in the control group. This result is similar to studies of reward dependence in alcohol, nicotine, and opiate abuse.

 

From a clinical view, our findings suggested that adolescents who excessively play internet video games had increased frequency in DRD2 Taq1A1 allele and COMTL allele and higher reward dependency. The DRD2 Taq1A1 allele seems to be related to reward dependence in excessive internet video game play.

 

According to a DOE study at the Brookhaven National Lab published in 2009:

The results clearly showed that, relative to the healthy control subjects, the ADHD patients had lower levels of dopamine receptors and transporters in the accumbens and midbrain — two key regions of the brain directly involved in processing motivation and reward.

The findings may also help explain why ADHD patients are more likely than control subjects to develop drug-abuse disorders and conditions such as obesity. Said Wang: “Other studies from our group suggest that patients who abuse drugs or overeat may be unconsciously attempting to compensate for a deficient reward system by boosting their dopamine levels.

 

A 1998 study conducted at Hammersmith Hospital in London using PET scans to measure changes in brain chemistry showed that playing video games resulted in:

at least a twofold increase in levels of extracellular dopamine

 

So, we have peer-reviewed, clinical studies clearly associating ADHD, excessive gaming, and addiction with specific dopamine processing deficits. Which parts of these studies are "ridiculous" and "silly," and what exactly is your source of expertise in this area?

 

Jackie

[Rhea]

Just decided not to share our personal experience.

Edited August 28, 2010 by Rhea
See the above

[Imprimis]

Numerous clinical studies have found that (1) deficits in dopamine processing are associated with both ADHD and addictive behavior, (2) a specific genetic allele causing dopamine processing deficits has been associated with a wide variety of addictions, including drug & alcohol addiction, and (3) a 2007 study correlated the same genetic marker with excessive gaming.

 

A 2007 study published in the Journal of Addiction Medicine showed a "significantly higher prevalence" of dopamine processing deficits in the "excessive gaming" group compared to the control subjects:

 

 

 

 

According to a DOE study at the Brookhaven National Lab published in 2009:

 

 

So, we have peer-reviewed, clinical studies clearly associating ADHD, excessive gaming, and addiction with specific dopamine processing deficits. Which parts of these studies are "ridiculous" and "silly," and what exactly is your source of expertise in this area?

 

Jackie

 

Thank you for posting these studies, Jackie.

 

I'm with you in that I don't understand why someone would term these concerns "ridiculous."

 

Clearly, there are kids who are negatively affected by certain aspects of video gaming.

 

Regardless of the reason, if a parent does not want their children immersed in the world of gaming, well then, that's their option.

 

In my home, we have a Wii, a PS3, and several handheld gaming devices, so obviously, I have no problem with gaming for my family. I do have to limit play for my son, because he is one of those kids who would stay on for an inordinate amount of time if left to his own devices. Once I pry him away, however, he has no problem redirecting his energy to playing his guitar, reading a book, or squabbling with his sisters ;)....

 

My oldest doesn't play video games, except an occasional tour on Rockband. She has never really been interested in them.

 

My point is, each family is different, and what works for one may not work for another. There's no reason to discount someone else's decisions because they don't line up with ours.

[Jean in Newcastle]

This thread has been bothering me! Perhaps another analogy for the frustrations of dealing with people who ridicule or put down a problem with gaming and media is that of a food allergy. Just as many children can eat a certain food with no problem, some cannot. It is not their fault or a matter of them "sucking it up" and dealing with it. (And yes, I do know that as an analogy it cannot be drawn out in a direct parallel very long before breaking down.)

 

We've tried the games in moderation, the talking about self control etc. But gaming causes my ds to go into raging tantrums. I have no problem with people allowing their kids to play at home, even when they have other kids over. But if you invite my kid, I'm going to tell you that he cannot play. And if you don't take it seriously then we aren't coming to your house. You might not understand the silliness of my ds' problem but in that case I don't understand the selfishness that would make a video game more important than a person.

[5LittleMonkeys]

No matter how many clinical studies are thrown out to either side it boils down to what is best for YOUR family and YOUR child. Obviously there are people out there that do not have adverse reactions to video games. My kids like them and have a lot of fun with them but they don't go into withdraws if they get limited. Some kids do have bad reactions. But just because some do, doesn't mean that no one should use them. I completely agree with Jean and when my girls have friends come over I ask the parents ahead of time if their dc are allowed to play and which games they are allowed to play.

[Corraleno]

No matter how many clinical studies are thrown out to either side it boils down to what is best for YOUR family and YOUR child. Obviously there are people out there that do not have adverse reactions to video games. My kids like them and have a lot of fun with them but they don't go into withdraws if they get limited. Some kids do have bad reactions. But just because some do, doesn't mean that no one should use them. I completely agree with Jean and when my girls have friends come over I ask the parents ahead of time if their dc are allowed to play and which games they are allowed to play.

Of course not, no one has ever suggested that. The thing that irritates those of us with kids who do have problems with gaming, is when others dismiss our concerns as ridiculous & unfounded, just because their kids don't have the same issues. And FWIW, I know several families whose kids play video games for hours every day, whose behavior I have seen deteriorate dramatically over the past couple of years, and the parents absolutely can't see it. It's "hormones," or "bad friends," or "just a phase" — the fact that it coincides with the purchase of an Xbox/PS3 is just a coincidence.

 

Jackie

Edited August 28, 2010 by Corraleno

[ProudGrandma]

I wasn't sure if I was going to chime back in here or not, but I never expected this thread to have taken off like it has...

 

all I can say is Legos, Lincoln Logs, craft supplies, bikes, basic board games have been around for years and I haven't once seen or heard of damage to ones brain or the way it affects a person due to those toys...but obviously that can't be said about the gaming toys. So if I am going to error...I am going to error on the side of caution.

[ProudGrandma]

I also find it curious that so many people are starting to take a closer look at the kinds of food they are putting into their children's bodies...knowing full well that preseravtives, HFCS, chemicals and additives, MSG etc are causing all sorts of health problems and even behaviour problems, but can't see that other "imput" might also affect them...just on a different level...at a slower speed...I am just not willing to dismiss the idea that something like this could cause problems in the end.

[kalanamak]

Because there has been some research suggesting that it may in fact "fundamentally alter" children's brains:

 

Jackie

 

:iagree: I think the jury is still out, but I tend to "stick with Nature" when in doubt. I believe we evolved with slower moving things, and faster moving things, such as spears and hunts, were taught slowly and were so dangerous, they were for grown-ups. So, until it is shown the developing brain is unaltered, or altered for the better, by video games, I let other people who actually find such stuff aesthetically pleasing be the guinea pigs.

[Abigail4476]

Mine get up and go play. They watched cartoons this morning then went out and played kickball together. No dopamine. Perhaps with yours it's because they use it so little that they can't get control over it.

 

We have nephews and nieces who live in a strict no-tv household--and when they come to our house, all. they. want. to. do. is watch tv, get on the computer, or play the wii. Our kids are the ones who are disappointed when they can't get their cousins to play outside. :001_huh:

 

Just sayin'. Sometimes making something forbidden makes it way more attractive. I prefer to teach moderation and self-control.

 

My husband is a web designer, and we are a really geeky household. We have every electronic gadget you can think of, oodles of software, games, and multiple laptops and desktops. That said, my kids would rather sit at the table and play a board game with the whole family than play a computer game, and they'd rather play baseball outside than play it on the Wii. Computer/gaming is what they do when there's absolutely nothing else to do, and even then it bores them after awhile!

 

*No addicts in this house* (Except for my rapidly developing addiction to this forum.)

[kalanamak]

Wait! The new Donkey Kong record holder is a plastic surgeon

 

I could regale you with "surgeon jokes", but I might offend someone. Okay, the nicest one:

An internist, a radiologist, a surgeon and a pathologist are out in a boat, duckhunting. A flock of birds goes over. The internist says "Uh, quacking noises, short tails, small wings with rapid beat, in a small group...must be duck!" hoists gun, shoots, but it is too late. The birds have passed.

The radiologist looks at the shadow on the water and says "Short neck, short wings, barely any tail, dense body. Can't be a goose, must be a duck! hoists gun and shoots but the ducks have passed.

The surgeon just hoists gun and blams in the direction of the objects. Two fall into the water and surgeon turns to pathologist and says "Wha'd I get?"

[mrs.m]

I also find it curious that so many people are starting to take a closer look at the kinds of food they are putting into their children's bodies...knowing full well that preseravtives, HFCS, chemicals and additives, MSG etc are causing all sorts of health problems and even behaviour problems, but can't see that other "imput" might also affect them...just on a different level...at a slower speed...I am just not willing to dismiss the idea that something like this could cause problems in the end.

 

Huh?

 

I'm wondering if you have any thing that proves this generalization to be true? I would almost argue that it IS the same group of people.

 

My opinion is let other people raise their own kids and decide what their limits are. Tell the parents when you allow your child to go play at a friends house. But you are going to get some strange looks over it because it isn't the social norm. (I'm kinda used to the looks myself just because I homeschool. They seem to naturally assume I'm judging them.)

 

Howerver, overall I find this thread to be judgemental. Some of us don't have children that have behavorial problems after watching tv or playing video games. AND it doesn't mean that we are letting them trash out in front of it for hours on end either. I think the standard answer has been moderation and relax a bit when it comes to other family's standards on this matter. Let your kids have fun with it at other people's houses. Or not if it really bugs you that much.

 

But you will not convince me that a little bit of screens is bad for children. My DH played video games all the time when he was younger. He has a master's degree in Engineering and is a high level manager for a major software company. His brain clearly didn't turn too mush. He still plays video games as his down time.

 

That said, I'm sorry that your children have issues with screens and that is making it difficult for you to allow them time to be with other children that don't have the same problems. And also that you feel alone in your opinion. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

Let your kids have fun with it at other people's houses. .

 

But you will not convince me that a little bit of screens is bad for children.

 

That said, I'm sorry that your children have issues with screens and that is making it difficult for you to allow them time to be with other children that don't have the same problems. And also that you feel alone in your opinion.

 

The OP said she didn't forbid her children, just that she wished there were ones around who did other things. I feel the same way. Around here it seems such a nearly-all-the-time thing at other people's houses. That or junk TV. And then all gifts and conversation seem to circle around "the latest-greatest" electronic fad, and if you don't keep up with all, you are just lost. I wish the kids would talk about something else even 50% of the time.

 

I don't know that my son HAS issues. I haven't really given him a chance to show he has or he hasn't. And I certainly wasn't trying to convince you of anything. I'm not convinced myself. I just don't think the jury is back, and for a kiddo my age, it is paper, pencil, wood, paint, arm-powered trains, kapla/lego/k'nex/snapcircuits/ etc. I did get him a turbo math thingy for when he is in an environment when every other boy has some handheld devise, just so, as they mill about staring at the thing in their hands with their mouths open (and yes, I'm making a judgment....it looks horrid) he won't be the only one who is without.

 

I don't feel alone in my opinion, just alone in my neighborhood.:)

[MariannNOVA]

I could regale you with "surgeon jokes", but I might offend someone. Okay, the nicest one:

An internist, a radiologist, a surgeon and a pathologist are out in a boat, duckhunting. A flock of birds goes over. The internist says "Uh, quacking noises, short tails, small wings with rapid beat, in a small group...must be duck!" hoists gun, shoots, but it is too late. The birds have passed.

The radiologist looks at the shadow on the water and says "Short neck, short wings, barely any tail, dense body. Can't be a goose, must be a duck! hoists gun and shoots but the ducks have passed.

The surgeon just hoists gun and blams in the direction of the objects. Two fall into the water and surgeon turns to pathologist and says "Wha'd I get?"

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: I think this is my 4,999th post.

[EKS]

don't get me wrong, we aren't stopping the kids from playing with friends...but what a waste of play time with friends if all you are doing is staring at a screen...I mean..really...people criticize us for our kids being homeschooled and not being social...but when they WANT to be social with other kids...they are being ANTI-social becasue they are staring at a screen. I can't figure it out. I am not going to tell anybody how to parent...but I was just curious if there was ANYBODY out there on my page. Thanks for all of the replies!

 

We allow screens, but we *don't* allow them when they're playing with their friends.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We have nephews and nieces who live in a strict no-tv household--and when they come to our house, all. they. want. to. do. is watch tv, get on the computer, or play the wii. Our kids are the ones who are disappointed when they can't get their cousins to play outside. :001_huh:

 

Just sayin'. Sometimes making something forbidden makes it way more attractive. I prefer to teach moderation and self-control.

 

 

 

Yes, sometimes forbidden fruit is attractive. But sometimes it is forbidden because the parents actually know that their particular children can't handle it. Just like sometimes forbidden sweets are attractive to some children. But sometimes it is forbidden because the parents actually know that it causes their particular children physical harm to have it. Not everyone's children, by the way, but their children.

 

 

My opinion is let other people raise their own kids and decide what their limits are. Tell the parents when you allow your child to go play at a friends house. But you are going to get some strange looks over it because it isn't the social norm. (I'm kinda used to the looks myself just because I homeschool. They seem to naturally assume I'm judging them.)

 

Howerver, overall I find this thread to be judgemental. Some of us don't have children that have behavorial problems after watching tv or playing video games. AND it doesn't mean that we are letting them trash out in front of it for hours on end either. I think the standard answer has been moderation and relax a bit when it comes to other family's standards on this matter. Let your kids have fun with it at other people's houses. Or not if it really bugs you that much.

 

But you will not convince me that a little bit of screens is bad for children.

 

You would have gotten along great with my MIL who said that "you can't convince me that a little bit of milk is bad for children." After all, there are tons of children who do just fine on milk. It didn't phase her that her grandchildren had big oozing patches of eczema after she slipped them the milk.

 

The people who have spoken up to say that their kids can't handle it have overwhelmingly said that it was because their children have actual physical problems as a result. The reason they know that is because they've let their kids try it!!! The OP fortunately does not have the problem but she feels that she'd rather err on the side of caution. I'm sure there have been parents who have done the same in holding off on starting solids for their babies or by having their kids wear bike helmets.

[Joanne]

We allow video games, gaming systems, role playing games, etc.

 

When I had a daycare, I saw both "sides". I saw kids prone to screen addiction (tv, video, computer) and I saw kids whose families avoided electronic entertainment on principle (by that I mean not in response to a known tendency in one of their children).

 

Screen addicted kids are identifyable. They don't leave game time well, they hyperfocus on when they can play again, the take on the personality/culture of the game, they get "stuck", "entrenched". They often lose the ability to play normal kids games and their imagination seemingly disappears. I don't believe games (or other screen entertainment) to be inherently addictive; I believe it is a combination of personality, temperment, and the particular media. Some games (mainly role playing) are designed to keep you playing; these have an addictive element within the game.

 

When I see a child prone to screen addiction, I usually recommend the parent try firm boundaries. If the child can't comply, I recommend complete abstinence.

 

I've had kids here that were not allowed computer, tv, movie or game entertainment. Without exception, they became hyperfocused on those opportunities in my home - the difference in their interest was glaring. Children allowed reasonable, boundaried access to electronic entertainment were ready to go play something "else" and the restricted kids had tremendous trouble disengaging and moving on.

 

In these cases, I believe that boundaried access is usually best.

[Mom0012]

We allow video games, gaming systems, role playing games, etc.

 

When I had a daycare, I saw both "sides". I saw kids prone to screen addiction (tv, video, computer) and I saw kids whose families avoided electronic entertainment on principle (by that I mean not in response to a known tendency in one of their children).

 

Screen addicted kids are identifyable. They don't leave game time well, they hyperfocus on when they can play again, the take on the personality/culture of the game, they get "stuck", "entrenched". They often lose the ability to play normal kids games and their imagination seemingly disappears. I don't believe games (or other screen entertainment) to be inherently addictive; I believe it is a combination of personality, temperment, and the particular media. Some games (mainly role playing) are designed to keep you playing; these have an addictive element within the game.

 

When I see a child prone to screen addiction, I usually recommend the parent try firm boundaries. If the child can't comply, I recommend complete abstinence.

 

I've had kids here that were not allowed computer, tv, movie or game entertainment. Without exception, they became hyperfocused on those opportunities in my home - the difference in their interest was glaring. Children allowed reasonable, boundaried access to electronic entertainment were ready to go play something "else" and the restricted kids had tremendous trouble disengaging and moving on.

 

In these cases, I believe that boundaried access is usually best.

 

Joanne -

 

I would really think this was true, but I don't feel it's worked well with my own children. I allow them 2 hours of screen time in the evening, 1/2 hour of that can be on the nintendo ds or computer. Yet, when they go to my parents, they are absolutely glued to the television/computer. They don't want to do anything else and my parents don't want to make them. Also, if we ever have a fun activity that goes into the evening (biking, swimming, a party, whatever), my son, in particular, will upset that he missed his screen time. He would rather leave the pool where he is having a great time with a friend just so he doesn't miss his screen time.

 

Should I be doing something differently? I feel like I am not handling this properly.

 

Lisa

[BlsdMama]

my husband and I do not think video games, the Wii, lots of computer or TV time for the children is a good thing at all and most everyone around us (including many of the kid's friends) have these items and use them all of the time...and it is getting harder and harder for us to allow our kids to go play with friends because of this. Am I alone in this...just wondering.

 

We actually just turned down my parents for wanting to get our kiddos a Wii. :( It was too bad too because Grandma and Grandpa would have LOVED to get them one and we didn't want to be the bad guys! Blessedly for me, my parents were respectful and offered in whispers to us before they asked the kids. ;) But, yes, you're one of the few. It's hard to combat invasive technology. But we'll plug along, be different, do our best, and our kids WILL benefit. Just as eating their veggies is a benefit - even if they like neither. :iagree:

[BlsdMama]

Joanne -

 

I would really think this was true, but I don't feel it's worked well with my own children. I allow them 2 hours of screen time in the evening, 1/2 hour of that can be on the nintendo ds or computer. Yet, when they go to my parents, they are absolutely glued to the television/computer. They don't want to do anything else and my parents don't want to make them. Also, if we ever have a fun activity that goes into the evening (biking, swimming, a party, whatever), my son, in particular, will upset that he missed his screen time. He would rather leave the pool where he is having a great time with a friend just so he doesn't miss his screen time.

 

Should I be doing something differently? I feel like I am not handling this properly.

 

Lisa

 

Lisa, I understand. Out of all of our kids we have one son who would be addicted to screen time if we'd allow it. We keep plugging along. From what I've read there are some kids that just "respond" very physically - they get a "rush" from the computer gaming, etc. It's what makes them addicts. :( So, whether they get an hour or several hours, they always want more. It isn't that you're handling it wrong per se, it's that they have a weakness, a certain addictive response, to the screen time. Some children can take it or leave it... I have several. Others find it mesmerizing... I have one. We guard him more closely, talk to him about why it's addictive, and we're hopefully teaching him to keep it in check and practice self control so that when he's older it won't take over his life.

[Julie in AZ]

Joanne -

 

I would really think this was true, but I don't feel it's worked well with my own children. I allow them 2 hours of screen time in the evening, 1/2 hour of that can be on the nintendo ds or computer. Yet, when they go to my parents, they are absolutely glued to the television/computer. They don't want to do anything else and my parents don't want to make them. Also, if we ever have a fun activity that goes into the evening (biking, swimming, a party, whatever), my son, in particular, will upset that he missed his screen time. He would rather leave the pool where he is having a great time with a friend just so he doesn't miss his screen time.

 

Should I be doing something differently? I feel like I am not handling this properly.

 

Lisa

 

Hi Lisa,

I think we've been where you are. I know it's difficult. We used to allow more screen time each day and unlimited video games at the grandparents' home. When my dc were upset about missing their screen time, we realized we needed to cut way back so screen time wasn't as important in their day.

 

We cut it back to computer 20 min/day for fun, one half hour show/day, and video games only on holidays. It has really made a difference. HTH!

[mrs.m]

Yes, sometimes forbidden fruit is attractive. But sometimes it is forbidden because the parents actually know that their particular children can't handle it. Just like sometimes forbidden sweets are attractive to some children. But sometimes it is forbidden because the parents actually know that it causes their particular children physical harm to have it. Not everyone's children, by the way, but their children.

 

 

 

You would have gotten along great with my MIL who said that "you can't convince me that a little bit of milk is bad for children." After all, there are tons of children who do just fine on milk. It didn't phase her that her grandchildren had big oozing patches of eczema after she slipped them the milk.

 

The people who have spoken up to say that their kids can't handle it have overwhelmingly said that it was because their children have actual physical problems as a result. The reason they know that is because they've let their kids try it!!! The OP fortunately does not have the problem but she feels that she'd rather err on the side of caution. I'm sure there have been parents who have done the same in holding off on starting solids for their babies or by having their kids wear bike helmets.

 

 

I have no problem when the issue is truly an issue. What I have a problem with is people who think because their children have that issue, then it means that all children have it too. I find parents with children that have food allergies often try to diagnose my children as having food allergies even when the symtoms don't line up.

 

So no, I wouldn't agree with your MIL.

[5LittleMonkeys]

We actually just turned down my parents for wanting to get our kiddos a Wii. :( It was too bad too because Grandma and Grandpa would have LOVED to get them one and we didn't want to be the bad guys! Blessedly for me, my parents were respectful and offered in whispers to us before they asked the kids. ;) But, yes, you're one of the few. It's hard to combat invasive technology. But we'll plug along, be different, do our best, and our kids WILL benefit. Just as eating their veggies is a benefit - even if they like neither. :iagree:

 

Regarding the bold part above; could you clarify how exactly your dc will benefit? I ask because it seems you are implying that your children are going to be better or have some advantage over a child that is allowed to play video games.

 

 

I get the distinct impression that many that have posted here have the opinion that if you allow your dc to play video games you are unknowingly (or knowingly) damaging your child in some way, and that if it hasn't happened yet it will. I don't know maybe I'm just being hyper-sensitive. :confused:

[Joker]

Regarding the bold part above; could you clarify how exactly your dc will benefit? I ask because it seems you are implying that your children are going to be better or have some advantage over a child that is allowed to play video games.

 

 

I get the distinct impression that many that have posted here have the opinion that if you allow your dc to play video games you are unknowingly (or knowingly) damaging your child in some way, and that if it hasn't happened yet it will. I don't know maybe I'm just being hyper-sensitive. :confused:

 

 

You're not being too sensitive - I also have that impression. I don't believe it though.;) Those that do not play video games are no better that those who do. There are some that cannot do so without having problems and it should be fine to restrict them. Those that can play without problems should not be looked down upon though. I played growing up - with my whole family -and I have some great memories.:)

[Joanne]

I would really think this was true, but I don't feel it's worked well with my own children. I allow them 2 hours of screen time in the evening, 1/2 hour of that can be on the nintendo ds or computer. Yet, when they go to my parents, they are absolutely glued to the television/computer. They don't want to do anything else and my parents don't want to make them. Also, if we ever have a fun activity that goes into the evening (biking, swimming, a party, whatever), my son, in particular, will upset that he missed his screen time. He would rather leave the pool where he is having a great time with a friend just so he doesn't miss his screen time.

Should I be doing something differently? I feel like I am not handling this properly

 

Given the bolded: If I had a child like this, they would not get any screen time at all.

[yvonne]

According to this article, "There are enormous benefits associated with technology.... certain video gamers have more visual acuity than those who don't game."

 

An "enormous benefit"?

 

I wonder what the other benefits of video games are? What unique value do video games add to life? They are a sort of "social lubricant" in that so many kids play them that a child who doesn't can feel left out. This is the sole reason that we allow our kids to play for 2 hours on Sat. and 2 hours on Sun. and they only play Zoo Tycoon or Lego Indiana Jones or Lego whatever.

 

Video games are entertaining, but are there no other comparable forms of entertainment? Forms that are healthier?

 

So often the question is "What harm do video games do?" But a better question might be "What value do they add? And is that value worth the potential cost?"

 

 

 

*************

"Richtel says that research is ongoing, particularly into how heavy technology may fundamentally alter the frontal lobe during childhood, how addictive behavior can lead to poor decision-making and how the brain is rewired when it is constantly inundated with new information.

 

But it's not all doom and gloom, he says. There are enormous benefits associated with technology, too. Research from the University of Rochester indicates that certain video gamers have more visual acuity than those who don't game. And there's value in offloading thinking to a computer, he says — by, for example, using Google Maps instead of calling for directions or organizing information in Excel instead of keeping track of it in your head."

Edited August 29, 2010 by yvonne

[kalanamak]

Regarding the bold part above; could you clarify how exactly your dc will benefit?

 

 

If I wrote that, it would mean "our lifestyle of not getting the lastest fad, at a pretty penny." I won't even shell out for a cell phone, as I don't need one. I want my son to get that message. I didn't ask my folks for "stuff", and hope for that peace from kiddo in return.