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I just brought my dad home to hospice

LinRTX
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LinRTX

LinRTX

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Edit: Thank you all for all the love and comfort I feel. The response has been overwhelming!!

 

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks. As we were leaving for our big summer vacation, my dad was on his way to a doctor's appointment to see if his leaky heart valve could be fixed. As he got out of the car to have coffee before the appointment, he collapsed. He had had another heart attack. After 11 days in the hospital, he has decided to fight this no more. So today I drive one hour to the hospital to bring him home. It has been a hard day. It has been a hard month. It has been a hard year. I'm tired and tomorrow I move my oldest daughter into her apartment to start her senior year at college. Then we start the senior year at home for my next daughter. This is long, thanks for reading; I just needed to write it out.

 

Linda

Edited by Linda in TX
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ma23peas

ma23peas

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Linda..:grouphug:

I am so sad for your Dad and your family..I hope these next weeks/months will be treasured and with little pain..I just want to add that what you are doing by being there for your father is one of the GREATEST lessons any parent can teach a child...while it is hard to go through, it's a grounding rod of love, compassion and commitment...may strength and encouragment follow you on this journey!

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sparrow

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We just attended the funeral of my aunt, who was like a second mother to me, on Friday. She had also made the decision not to fight (in her case, cancer) anymore.

 

Hospice did an amazing job keeping her comfortable and treating her with dignity until the very end.

 

Treasure this time with your dad :grouphug:.

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Jules

Jules

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Praying for you. I have been there, personally, and know what that is like. Actually have been there, twice. Hospice is a wonderful program and there is peace in being in your own home and being able to have those around that care so much. It doesn't make things any easier......so my prayers are with you.

I am coming up on the two year passing of my dad and it so happened on my birthday, 9/11. Thinking of you and hugs.......

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bookfiend

bookfiend

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:grouphug: I walked this road with my Dad three years ago. God grant you peace. It's a hard road, but it leads to a clean grief, and it's an amazing gift to both your Father and yourself.

 

I know you didn't post looking for advice. When you are ready and if you are interested in practical thoughts, I would welcome your PM.

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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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I have done the same for my mother. She lived with us until she died, in my home, under the care of Hospice. It's going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, and one of the most beautiful gifts you can give your father. My mother living in my home for 7 months, 6 before we put her on Hospice. I will always be thankful for the opportunity to give my mother such a beautiful end of life. My father had died shortly before.

 

Please, PM me if you have ANY questions or if I can be of any help At All. Please PM me if you just need a shoulder to cry on.

:grouphug:

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cjbeach

cjbeach

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Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I have lived that as a daughter and as a hospice nurse.

I believe when someone is done fighting, they're done fighting, period. The hardest conversation I ever had with my mom was whether or not she was done fighting, or was I keeping her going beyond her want/wish.

It's not easy.

It's physically and mentally exhausting, but you'll look back and cherish the days that you were able to "baby" your dad the way he did you as a child. I know my mom received the best care possible when she was at home because I was her caretaker. I did it with every ounce of love within me for the woman who gave me life.

I vividly remember spending a lot of time holding her hand and singing along to "her songs" I played on CD - Streisand, Sinatra - my mom's tunes. I hugged her, I cried a lot, but mostly I just loved her. I wanted her to know and feel when she exited this life that she was loved.

I think she knew. I say that because she waited until I took my first shower in 4 days to actually start Cheyne Stokes breathing (end of life breathing). Not a minute after I started shampooing my dad knocked on the door yelling "Mom's breathing funny, come look." She passed very quickly after. Knowing my mom and how protective she was of me, I laughed that she wanted to wait until I was out of the room. The same thing happened with my bff and her sister (the first break they took, the 15 minutes they walked out, their mom passed).

 

Love him.

 

Many hugs on this journey.

Edited by cjbeach
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