How and when did you tell your dc that there is no Santa?

[RainbowSprinkles]

I know it's kind of early, but I've been thinking about giving up Santa for awhile. I want to focus on the real reason of Christmas and tell my kids the truth about Santa. I figured this year would be a good year to tell, because then I'd never have to start with my little one :)

When do you think would be a good time to tell them? Should I wait til it's closer to December? Or would be better to prepare them for it now?

How did you tell your kids?

How did they react?

Also, I'd like to tell them about St. Nicholas. That's what I knew when I was growing up in Germany. Can anyone recommend some books on him?

[RainbowSprinkles]

Sorry, I just realized I posted this in the wrong section. Don't know how to move it though. But if it's ok to leave it here, I'd still like to know :)

Edited July 28, 2010 by RainbowSprinkles
added something

[MorganClassicalPrep]

:bigear:

 

Last year was the first year my daughter really got into the whole Santa Claus thing (she was 3 and 11 months). Before that she only had a vague concept of it. I was really uncomfortable with it. I always just assumed I'd do the Santa thing, doesn't everyone??, but when push came to shove I started to question that.

 

I think I'll reveal the truth this year. IDK, but I'd rather her think Mommy is giving her these gifts because I love her, not some random fat guy who lives thousands of miles away for no reason...

I also want to discuss and focus on the real good stuff about Christmas. The birth of Christ, the family togetherness, the joyous feeling, giving to others, etc.

[Daisy]

We've never told our children there was a Santa but we don't make a big deal out of Santa wrapping paper or ornaments or Christmas books.

 

We read this book to our children. We watched this Veggie Tales video this year and it tells the real story also. Great movie for all ages.

 

We basically told them that Saint Nicholas was a real person who lived a long time ago. That St. Nicholas loved Jesus very much and wanted to give others gifts as an expression of that love.

 

Today we give gifts to each other in the same way. The gifts under the tree come from Mom and Dad, and grandma and grandpa, all of who love you very much.

[KrissiK]

Our kids have never believed in Santa. They just see him as a symbol of the season, but we've never lead them to believe that he's a real person and all their presents come from us anyhow, so I'm afraid I have no advice.

[lionfamily1999]

Dd found out at school.

 

For my older ds we studied the history of Christmas last year. I really thought that our discussions would clue him in. We even talked about how Santa is the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas and that each and every one of us carries some of that spirit around inside us. We talked about how dh and I are Santa............ I guess I wasn't clear enough, because he still believes in Santa. I'm thinking this year we're just going to have Santa write him a going away letter. I wish I could be more help, but our talking around it didn't work.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Our kids have never believed in Santa. They just see him as a symbol of the season, but we've never lead them to believe that he's a real person and all their presents come from us anyhow, so I'm afraid I have no advice.

Ditto.

[dirty ethel rackham]

We never told our kids. We didn't really make a huge deal out of Santa because my kids were afraid of the "mall Santas." They were afraid of any stranger:). However, they did get gifts from Santa and had fun tracking him on the NORAD Santa tracker:). Eventually, they sort of figured it out. When they asked, we would give non-committal answers and smile. Then they were in on the joke. They knew by about age 8, if not before. It just wasn't logical;). We have always focused on the religious aspects of the season, taking part fully in the observance of Advent. Santa is just a symbol to them. They still get gifts from Santa under the tree. I can't think of any St. Nicholas books off hand. We read about him like we read about all the Saints.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Origionally we told our kids there was no santa. Then while listening to focus on the family a few weeks before Christmas, Dr Dobson talked about the importance of kids being allowed to believe in Santa. While I can not remember the whole thing, the jist of it was that the real world is scary, it is very good and healthy to allow kids to believe in Santa (as long as they know the true meaning of Christmas and what it is REALLY about and make sure they realize that it is not about materialism as so many people make it out to be) He said that kids grow up fast enough and it is good for them to have that belief. When your kids start asking questions, start telling them the truth.

 

So, that being said, last year was the first year my boys were allowed to believe in Santa (even after being told he was not real) and the magic truly was in their eyes! It was AWESOME!

 

So that being said- What do you mean there is no santa?? :001_smile:

[Karen in CO]

Never. and I don't plan to. My parents never told me. :)

[ereks mom]

Never. and I don't plan to. My parents never told me. :)

 

:iagree:

[rafiki]

.

[twoxcell]

Well we have always treated the Santa thing as just another fairytale type story. They have seen movies and books etc. about him, but we do not focus on Santa for Christmas. We have never played Santa with any of our kids. We have such a fun time during the Christmas season learning about the biblical Christmas story. I have talk to them a bit about the real St. Nicholas too.

[Daisy]

nt

[Homemama2]

Well, we do the whole Santa, tooth fairy etc thing around here. Mine figure it out on their own. We DO tell them there is no such thing as 'magic' (this came up when they were on a big Narnia kick and kept wondering if all those creatures existed). So if there is no magic, and Santa and the rest of them get around by magic....eventually they come to realize that they aren't real.

[krisandpaula]

Never. and I don't plan to. My parents never told me. :)

 

:iagree: Me too. :001_smile:

[Virginia82]

Sorry, no advice on how to go about doing it as I don't know how much your family "did" Santa (if you KWIM).

 

We never "did" santa in our home. Instead, we taught the children that there once was a very kind man who would give gifts to children who didn't have parents, or whose parents couldn't afford to give their children Christmas gifts. His name was Nicholas, and because he was such a good man some call him a "saint" (we're not Catholic, so our children aren't introduced to saints, so we had a separate discussion on this). Over the years, Nicholas' story has been told and gotten bigger, and now its a fun game that some parents play with their children to remember the joy that Nicholas brought to other children. (we also taught the children that it's not nice to tell other children that Santa is just pretend because it's something special that they get to play with their parents)

 

Maybe start from there? Either way, GL with this revelation.

[Stellalarella]

This is our true story:

We had led our first child to believe that there was a Santa. When he was seven, the powers of logic kicked in, and he outright questioned us. He was hurt and actually angry that we had led him to believe something that was not true. Following the Santa fiasco, he began to question the Bible and whether or not it was true. He told us that he knew we believed it, but he didn't know if he could believe it.

 

We no longer teach our children that the magical Santa Clause is a real person.

[DawnM]

We have the book, Santa, Are You For Real? and talked about the real St. Nick and how the tradition started with Santa.

 

Honestly though, we really haven't ever done the Santa thing. We aren't really against it, but we are realists around here and tell it like it is.

 

Dawn

[AppleGreen]

Well, we weren't planning on doing Santa and never did, but at age 3 my oldest son informed us a few days before Christmas that there was indeed a Santa and he would coming that year. I was not going to take that moment from him, so we've done Santa ever since.

 

It is not a big deal here. Santa just puts stuff in their stockings (and there is a pattern of what goes in their stockings-something to read, something small to play w/, something practical and something to eat) and brings them a small box of sugar cereal (you know the little packs of 8) which is seriously the highlight! And when the time comes we will talk about the spirit of Santa and giving unconditionally, b/c I very much believe that is what giving unconditionally is. We find other ways to give throughout the year and Santa is another extension of that w/i our family.

 

I get why people don't do it, but I love sharing in my children's excitement and anticipation. I see it as connecting w/ my kids in a different way and I am all about celebrating the magical wonder of childhood.

[Mommee & Baba]

Our oldest dd figured it out when she was 5.5 yrs old. The mall santa's were different each year and all the santa's on tv looked different. She came to dh and I and we both told our children the truth that santa is pretend and we play it during Christmas and if they wanted to pretend and play that we would continue and they agreed they wanted to play.

 

Each Christmas eve we bake a cake for Jesus, light candles and take it outside and let the wind blow them out and explain to our children the meaning of Christmas.

 

By saying we play santa as a family. Means we do stockings :)

[In2why]

Does there really need to be "a talk"? My kids all still believe and absolutely have that magic. My oldest has started to ask more questions and I just spin it back and ask him what he thinks and listen. From his responses you can tell he still really wants to believe, so be it. Someday they'll connect things and know who those presents were really from. It doesn't bother me a bit that my name isn't attached to them. The sparkle in their eyes and the mystery surrounding are simply priceless.

 

They still believe in the tooth fairy and Easter bunny as well. I've never pushed it, but don't think it's necessary to burst their bubble either.

 

 

Same thing here....although I am beginning to suspect that part of the reason that my 11y/o is hanging on to the idea is that he is afraid that if he doesn't believe that he won't get gifts from Santa like the littles. It is an interesting line to walk. Part of me wants to tell him that even if you don't believe we still all have presents under the tree from Santa. But if I even bring it up then I am basically telling him that he isn't real, or confirming it.

I love that they can keep the magic as long as possible. We still make fairy 'towns' and I enjoy it as much as the kids do.

[Starr]

If you really want to go with those ugly rumors of no Santa you could just switch to St. Nicholas. Books, there is a children's dvd, leave out your shoes and celebrate on Dec 6th. That's how I remember it when I lived in Germany. Read up on Christmas around the world and celebrate in different ways. We seem to do it all and the kids never confused the fun stuff with Christ. As they got older I told them I needed to help Santa. We always laugh and tell them if you don't believe your stocking won't be filled. We even had books on St. Nicolas that said that was how Santa got started and they never said a thing.

[Firestar Academy]

Never. and I don't plan to. My parents never told me. :)

 

:iagree:

 

although, we do not label anything under the tree as 'from santa' or 'from mom'. just say that 'some' are from mom and 'some' are from santa..always the best ones are from mom!!!!

 

just every year, more and more are 'from mom'...

 

robin in NJ

[MissKNG]

You grew up in Germany! The Krumpas (sp?) was always after my dad!

[Catwoman]

Does there really need to be "a talk"? My kids all still believe and absolutely have that magic. My oldest has started to ask more questions and I just spin it back and ask him what he thinks and listen. From his responses you can tell he still really wants to believe, so be it. Someday they'll connect things and know who those presents were really from. It doesn't bother me a bit that my name isn't attached to them. The sparkle in their eyes and the mystery surrounding are simply priceless.

 

They still believe in the tooth fairy and Easter bunny as well. I've never pushed it, but don't think it's necessary to burst their bubble either.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Santa is so much fun, and I can't even imagine being in a rush to tell a child that there is no such thing as Santa.

 

It actually seems kind of mean. (Sorry if I've offended anyone, but Santa is one of very few absolutely magical and wonderful fantasies of childhood that remain wonderful memories long into adulthood for many of us, and the idea of not having "Santa memories" seems very sad to me. I'm sure others will disagree with my opinion, but I have a lot of fun letting my son think his gifts are from Santa, and I think it would be quite selfish of me to tell him there's no Santa just so he'd give me the credit for buying him a bunch of gifts.)

 

Cat

[Hockey Mom]

You grew up in Germany! The Krumpas (sp?) was always after my dad!

 

LOL :lol:

 

(Krumpus) ;)

 

We still do Santa here. Last year I spent Christmas Eve cutting out black footprints out of construction paper and placed them carefully throughout the house. I must have cut out 100 feet. Well, DS6 (my night owl) got up around 3am, picked them all up, then proceeded to inform me later that morning that someone left paper footprints everywhere, and HE cleaned them up for me. :tongue_smilie: So much for adding some "magic" to the morning.

 

It's our tradition to go look at lights after dinner. While the kids are loading up, I put out presents from "P.J. the Elf". When we get back home, the kids open their presents (new pajamas). I make hot chocolate while Dh reads The Night Before Christmas and The First Christmas to the kids. After they're done reading, we take our reindeer food (oatmeal and glitter) and sprinkle the driveway. The glitter lights the way for Santa. :D Then we put out cookies, coffee, and a carrot (for Rudolph). After that, it's a quick check on NORAD's site to see where Santa is, then off to bed.

 

I didn't have magical Christmases as a child, and I guess I tend to over-compensate with my own children. I plan to never tell them the truth. DD told me last year, that even though she knows Santa isn't real, that she finds herself getting caught up in my drama too. I love that. :)

[Snowfall]

I'm sure others will disagree with my opinion, but I have a lot of fun letting my son think his gifts are from Santa, and I think it would be quite selfish of me to tell him there's no Santa just so he'd give me the credit for buying him a bunch of gifts.)

 

 

I do find it a little...I don't know...not insulting, but something....that you would think the reason people don't lie about magical men who give them gifts is because they want all the credit for buying those gifts. We don't do Santa because I want my children to know that if I tell them something, it is true to the best of my knowledge. That's it. I don't care about what anyone else does, but no way on earth would I "deprive" my child of the belief in a fantasy man just so she'd know I bought her lots of presents. I "deprive" her of that belief because I don't want to mislead her. Besides, she told me when she was TWO that Santa wasn't real. ;) That was long before I'd ever said anything, one way or the other.

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

Never. and I don't plan to. My parents never told me. :)

 

Same here. We figured it out, went with the magic and were not traumatized. We have always had gifts from Santa under the tree and filling our stockings. In the 10 years DH and I were together before kids, Santa still came. ;) DH still talks about how that put the magic back in his Christmas. In his house, everyone knew the truth but there was no wink-wink. At our house, we are all about the wink-wink. :D

 

What? There's no Santa!? :eek:

 

:)

[nmoira]

I don't, I just let it get more elaborate. Check out How Santa Really Works. It will answer all their questions. :)

[mom2bee]

Removed by the Author.

[Farrar]

We've always told them Santa's not real. I want credit for those presents! :lol:

 

To my kids, Santa is a game we all play together and pretend about - it's fun and they enjoy it and like all the Santa stuff, but they know it's just a game.

[Catwoman]

I think it is pretty stupid for parents to lie to their kids. Yes, life is scary and the world can be hard, isn't that all the more reason to have 100% faith in your parents and their guidance?

 

I would think less of my parents if I knew they'd lied to me, for years, about something as silly as Santa or the likes thereof just for kicks or for whatever "magic" it was supposed to bring.

 

A mirage oasis is very exciting and heartening to a thirsty wandered but when they reach it and find it was false, well, can their BE a greater let down?

 

I don't know. You seem kind of bitter. Maybe you'd feel better if you believed in Santa... ;)

 

Cat

[nmoira]

I don't know. You seem kind of bitter. Maybe you'd feel better if you believed in Santa... ;)

 

Cat

:lol:

[Homeschooling6]

I never thought my parents were liars because they let me believe in Santa :001_huh:

 

I have very fond memories of my Santa believing days and now my dc do. We don't make a big thing about it. Santa doesn't purchase big expensive gifts, he just fills the stockings :D

 

When my oldest was 9yrs. old I thought I should have the Santa talk with him :bigear:, so after the younger dc went to bed, I made some hot cocoa and we had some cookies. I told him Santa was mom and dad. He was not disappointed, heart broken or thought that dad and I lied to him. He was like, okay, I'm tired can I go to bed now?

[3Rivers]

I have mixed feelings about it. I have fond memories of Santa and so continued the tradition with our kids...one of the few things I continued...but when my 8 year old son started asking questions and really wanted to know we told him the truth. We had never blatantly lied to him and just generally avoided the questions. Well, when we told him there really was no Santa, he said we were lying and stormed out of the room! I about dropped my teeth. He and his little brother then staged a quiet protest against us as their older sister looked on, just shaking her head. lol

 

After that, we made a pact that if he had any other questions, our answer would be: "no comment".

 

THAT certainly was not what we expected. I did have my moments where I wished we had just said there was no Santa from the beginning. BUt all in all it has been, and still is a fun tradition and they obviously will believe/not believe according to when they are ready.

 

I realize many would not agree..but of all the things that my family of origin did that caused pain/turmoil/trauma...passing on the Santa tradition was not one of them. :001_smile: It was pure fun, even though I was sad when I found out it wasn't true. Then it was still fun as "Santa" still came in the form of fun surprises.

[OrganicAnn]

We tell our DD that someone named Claus wanted children to remember Jesus' birth and so he started giving presents at Christmas. Implying in the telling that Santa Claus lived a long time ago. Then we let her believe in Santa if she wants to.

 

We have one book that is written for older kids and I was reading it to DD last year. I hadn't pre-read it, but in the middle it said something like 'this is real, not like Santa Claus'. I read it, but made no comment. So my DD knows if she wants to know.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Wow! I can not believe that so many people consider allowing their kids to believe in Santa lying to their kids! :eek: I guess to each their own! But wow! -- My own opinions, I know ALOT of people will disagree with this. I am not trying to start a debate, I am shocked though for sure! I loved believing in Santa as a kid! I NEVER felt lied to. My 12 year old dd (who knows there is no santa) says she still believes because its all apart of the magic of Christmas! Christmas is a wonderful time of year, full of suprises! Santa is just another fun part of that (for us anyways!) I witnessed that myself when I let my boys think that last year for the first time (after they have been told there is no santa) It was amazing to see their reactions to gifts from santa!

 

Just my thoughts on the subject!

[yvonne]

Ugg! They would have found out tonight if they had been reading subject lines over my shoulder, as they sometimes do when they're sitting on my lap before bed and we're talking and my computer is open. :(

 

Isn't this more a topic for the General Board?!

[SonshineLearner]

We do the "wink wink" there's a Santa, knowing that it's fun to make believe, but we always wanted the holiday to center on Jesus! BUT, just like the tooth faeries, easter bunny etc.... it's fun to "believe in magic" if you... well... know the truth...

:)

[DianeW88]

My parents did the Santa thing to the hilt and I loved them for it!! What wonderful, happy, warm, fuzzy memories I get when I look back on my childhood Christmases. I never once felt deceived or lied to. What I did feel was sorry for the kids who weren't allowed to join in the fun.

 

I was never told there "wasn't" a Santa. I came to the conclusion on my own around age 8 and I was fine with it. At that point, Santa became something bigger that just one man in a red suit. We were all "Santa" in our own special way. In fact, I enjoyed helping my parents make it fun for my younger brother.

 

I also had no problems differentiating between the real reason for Christmas and the folklore and legends. We celebrated every holiday that encompassed the Christmas season. And, it wasn't just Santa leaving gifts in my house....we had St. Nicholas bringing candy and Christmas books on his day, Santa on his, and the Wise Men left us three presents each on Jan. 6th. Not to mention, Cupid brought us treats on Valentine's Day, the leprechauns left chocolate gold coins for us to find on St. Pat's Day and then there was that bunny with the Easter baskets. As my dh said when he first learned about my family, "You have a veritable parade of freaks and weirdos passing through your doors." :lol: Yes, we did and so do my kids. And my two oldest (20 and 17) tell me all the time how much they loved it and my youngest (9) is still in the thick of it and enjoying every minute. Life is gloomy enough at times....I say enjoy the holidays and let Santa be!! :D

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

Edited July 29, 2010 by DianeW88
hideous grammatical errors!

[rafiki]

.

[Guest aquiverfull]

We've never told our children there was a Santa. They always known from day one that the gifts they received on Christmas morning came from us. Plus we feel uncomfortable lying to our children and we want them to know the true meaning of the Holiday.

[hsmamainva]

There's no Santa?? :001_huh:

 

:svengo:

[beccad777]

My parents did the Santa thing to the hilt and I loved them for it!! What wonderful, happy, warm, fuzzy memories I get when I look back on my childhood Christmases. I never once felt deceived or lied to. What I did feel was sorry for the kids who weren't allowed to join in the fun.

 

I was never told their "wasn't" a Santa. I came to the conclusion on my own around age 8 and I was fine with it. At that point, Santa became something bigger that just one man in a red suit. We were all "Santa" in our own special way. In fact, I enjoyed helping my parents make it fun for my younger brother.

 

I also had no problems differentiating between the real reason for Christmas and the folklore and legends. We celebrated every holiday that encompassed the Christmas season. And, it wasn't just Santa leaving gifts in my house....we had St. Nicholas bringing candy and Christmas books on his day, Santa on his, and the Wise Men left us three presents each on Jan. 6th. Not to mention, Cupid brought us treats on Valentine's Day, the leprechauns left chocolate gold coins for us to find on St. Pat's Day and then there was that bunny with the Easter baskets. As my dh said when he first learned about my family, "You have a veritable parade of freaks and weirdos passing through you doors." :lol: Yes, we did and so do my kids. And my two oldest (20 and 17) tell me all the time how much they loved it and my youngest (9) is still in the thick of it and enjoying every minute. Life is gloomy enough at times....I say enjoy the holidays and let Santa be!! :D

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

 

 

:smilielol5: That was hilarious! We do the Santa thing. It is part of the fun and magic of being a kid. We do put heavy emphasis on Jesus' birth as that is the entire reason. We only do 3 gifts per kid from Mom and Dad to symbolize the 3 gifts the wisemen gave. They get stockings and 1 gift from Santa. We bake Jesus a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Him and read the Christmas story from the Bible many times. I don't plan to tell them there is no Santa. They can figure it out when they want, but if you don't believe Santa will not bring you a present! ;) And since Santa always has brought a present then he must be real, right?

[Embassy]

Christmas is magical without a man in a red suit. I have many wonderful memories of the magic of the season from my childhood and I never believed in Santa. Santa is treated as another fairy tale around here and I would not lead my child to believe any fairy tale was true.

 

The magic of the season is not found in the Santa myth. It is found in people. It is found in family. It is found in the spirit of giving. Who is behind the Santa myth? Isn't it the family that facilitates the belief? And in so doing, isn't it the family that is producing the magic?

 

Christmas is as special as you make it. Santa isn't necessary.

[Catwoman]

Christmas is as special as you make it. Santa isn't necessary.

 

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that one, because SANTA ROCKS!

 

Once the kids stop believing in Santa, a little bit of the magic is lost. If you've never gone completely whole-hog with the Santa thing, you can't really understand just how incredibly fun it is for the entire family.

 

That said, I know that Christmas can be special without Santa; it's just a different kind of special, and I wouldn't have wanted my ds to have missed out on the wonders of Santa. My ds's family didn't let the kids believe in Santa for very long, so he didn't "get" my enthusiasm for making a big deal out of him, but I quickly converted him into a believer when he saw the joy my ds has gotten out of it.

 

Cat

[Lovin Learnin]

What? There's no Santa!? :eek:

 

My husband found out when his 4th grade class was asked to answer the Santa letters from the 1st grade class. He was horrified! LOL! I am really surprised that his teacher just assumed that none of the 4th graders still believed.

 

My boys were told by a younger, non-believing cousin. My kids were pretty old though, so I found no reason not to come clean at that time. But I would have preferred to have them "age out" if you know what I mean.

[Embassy]

My ds's family didn't let the kids believe in Santa for very long, so he didn't "get" my enthusiasm for making a big deal out of him, but I quickly converted him into a believer when he saw the joy my ds has gotten out of it.

 

Cat

 

I'm not sure you understood the point I was attempting to make. It wasn't Santa that brought the joy. It was you. You may have used Santa to bring about joy, but the magic doesn't come from a myth. It comes from people.

[momto2Cs]

Does there really need to be "a talk"? My kids all still believe and absolutely have that magic. My oldest has started to ask more questions and I just spin it back and ask him what he thinks and listen. From his responses you can tell he still really wants to believe, so be it. Someday they'll connect things and know who those presents were really from. It doesn't bother me a bit that my name isn't attached to them. The sparkle in their eyes and the mystery surrounding are simply priceless.

 

They still believe in the tooth fairy and Easter bunny as well. I've never pushed it, but don't think it's necessary to burst their bubble either.

 

:iagree:

 

We still believe in fairies, elves and gnomes too! For me, Santa is simply part of the magic of the season. Yes, we can (and do) explore other reasons behind Christmas, and the history of the holiday (including old pagan traditions like wassailing and Yule logs), but I think it it fine for them to believe in Santa as well. We enjoy celebration, the more celebration the merrier! Dh and I still exchange gifts marked "From Santa" as well - always a surprise gift. Maybe I am still a child at heart, but I love the Santa story. We read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" every year.

 

As for the mall Santas, we simply explained that Santa is very busy at that time of year and so relies on "helper" Santas.

 

Having said all that, I think the kids DO have some idea that he's not real except in our hearts and actions.

Edited July 29, 2010 by momto2Cs