How and when did you tell your dc that there is no Santa?

[kahlanne]

Our kids have never believed in Santa. They just see him as a symbol of the season, but we've never lead them to believe that he's a real person and all their presents come from us anyhow, so I'm afraid I have no advice.

:iagree:

[Catwoman]

I'm not sure you understood the point I was attempting to make. It wasn't Santa that brought the joy. It was you. You may have used Santa to bring about joy, but the magic doesn't come from a myth. It comes from people.

 

Sorry -- you're right; I did misunderstand you!

 

Thanks for the clarification! :001_smile:

 

Cat

[lionfamily1999]

I am beginning to suspect that part of the reason that my 11y/o is hanging on to the idea is that he is afraid that if he doesn't believe that he won't get gifts from Santa like the littles.

Dd was the same way.

Santa is so much fun, and I can't even imagine being in a rush to tell a child that there is no such thing as Santa.

 

It actually seems kind of mean. (Sorry if I've offended anyone, but Santa is one of very few absolutely magical and wonderful fantasies of childhood that remain wonderful memories long into adulthood for many of us, and the idea of not having "Santa memories" seems very sad to me. I'm sure others will disagree with my opinion, but I have a lot of fun letting my son think his gifts are from Santa, and I think it would be quite selfish of me to tell him there's no Santa just so he'd give me the credit for buying him a bunch of gifts.)

 

Cat

Thank you for getting me off the hook. I keep worrying about when to break it to ds......... Now I don't have to. And if that's wrong I'll just point to you (where are you? North/south/east/west) and say, "It's all her fault." :lol:

I think it is pretty stupid for parents to lie to their kids. Yes, life is scary and the world can be hard, isn't that all the more reason to have 100% faith in your parents and their guidance?

 

I would think less of my parents if I knew they'd lied to me, for years, about something as silly as Santa or the likes thereof just for kicks or for whatever "magic" it was supposed to bring.

 

A mirage oasis is very exciting and heartening to a thirsty wandered but when they reach it and find it was false, well, can their BE a greater let down?

So your advice for the OP was??? OH, you didn't actually offer useful advice, you just wanted to call her stupid. Well done :D

I never thought my parents were liars because they let me believe in Santa :001_huh:

 

I have very fond memories of my Santa believing days and now my dc do. We don't make a big thing about it. Santa doesn't purchase big expensive gifts, he just fills the stockings :D

 

When my oldest was 9yrs. old I thought I should have the Santa talk with him :bigear:, so after the younger dc went to bed, I made some hot cocoa and we had some cookies. I told him Santa was mom and dad. He was not disappointed, heart broken or thought that dad and I lied to him. He was like, okay, I'm tired can I go to bed now?

Me neither and dd wasn't when she found out.

I realize many would not agree..but of all the things that my family of origin did that caused pain/turmoil/trauma...passing on the Santa tradition was not one of them. :001_smile: It was pure fun, even though I was sad when I found out it wasn't true. Then it was still fun as "Santa" still came in the form of fun surprises.

:iagree: Part of me thinks, if all you have to complain about regarding your childhood is the presence of Santa, you must've had a really great childhood, maybe you should call your parents and thank them.

[DianeW88]

:smilielol5: That was hilarious! We do the Santa thing. It is part of the fun and magic of being a kid. We do put heavy emphasis on Jesus' birth as that is the entire reason. We only do 3 gifts per kid from Mom and Dad to symbolize the 3 gifts the wisemen gave. They get stockings and 1 gift from Santa. We bake Jesus a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Him and read the Christmas story from the Bible many times. I don't plan to tell them there is no Santa. They can figure it out when they want, but if you don't believe Santa will not bring you a present! ;) And since Santa always has brought a present then he must be real, right?

 

I still believe in Santa! :D We do emphasize the religious side of the holiday very heavily. We celebrate Advent and have a family devotional each night. Lisa Whelchel has a wonderful book that has an activity every night and explains the how some of the more secular Christmas traditions can be given religious meaning and point back to the Savior.

 

Here's the amazon link:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Adventure-Christmas-Helping-Children-Traditions/dp/B002T451XG/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280437380&sr=8-5

 

We also do the Advent activities from Scripture Adventures as part of our school in December. That was a lot of fun last year.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[Tree House Academy]

I didn't have to tell my older son. When he was 7, he worked out the logic of it all and came to me with it. I told him the truth because he asked. My younger son is still enjoying Santa and he is almost 7. We don't plan to "tell" him either until he questions the logic himself.

[krisandpaula]

My parents did the Santa thing to the hilt and I loved them for it!! What wonderful, happy, warm, fuzzy memories I get when I look back on my childhood Christmases. I never once felt deceived or lied to. What I did feel was sorry for the kids who weren't allowed to join in the fun.

 

I was never told there "wasn't" a Santa. I came to the conclusion on my own around age 8 and I was fine with it. At that point, Santa became something bigger that just one man in a red suit. We were all "Santa" in our own special way. In fact, I enjoyed helping my parents make it fun for my younger brother.

 

I also had no problems differentiating between the real reason for Christmas and the folklore and legends. We celebrated every holiday that encompassed the Christmas season. And, it wasn't just Santa leaving gifts in my house....we had St. Nicholas bringing candy and Christmas books on his day, Santa on his, and the Wise Men left us three presents each on Jan. 6th. Not to mention, Cupid brought us treats on Valentine's Day, the leprechauns left chocolate gold coins for us to find on St. Pat's Day and then there was that bunny with the Easter baskets. As my dh said when he first learned about my family, "You have a veritable parade of freaks and weirdos passing through your doors." :lol: Yes, we did and so do my kids. And my two oldest (20 and 17) tell me all the time how much they loved it and my youngest (9) is still in the thick of it and enjoying every minute. Life is gloomy enough at times....I say enjoy the holidays and let Santa be!! :D

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

 

This! Exactly. And Tinkerbell leaves pixie-dust covered gifts everytime we go to Disney World too. Oh how I love that little Fairy!!!! :001_smile:

[djsmom]

Our kids have never believed in Santa. They just see him as a symbol of the season, but we've never lead them to believe that he's a real person and all their presents come from us anyhow, so I'm afraid I have no advice.

 

same here

[EarleneW]

I will never tell them there is no Santa.

I love the magic he brings to the holiday season. All my kids know the real meaning of Christmas. I will be so sad when they all know the truth. BTW- I still get credit for the gifts- Santa only brings 3 per child!

[Mrs Mungo]

We never told our kids. We didn't really make a huge deal out of Santa because my kids were afraid of the "mall Santas." They were afraid of any stranger:). However, they did get gifts from Santa and had fun tracking him on the NORAD Santa tracker:). Eventually, they sort of figured it out. When they asked, we would give non-committal answers and smile. Then they were in on the joke. They knew by about age 8, if not before. It just wasn't logical;). We have always focused on the religious aspects of the season, taking part fully in the observance of Advent. Santa is just a symbol to them. They still get gifts from Santa under the tree. I can't think of any St. Nicholas books off hand. We read about him like we read about all the Saints.

 

This is sort of how we handle it as well. They get the idea that Santa is not real. But, I've told them that Santa only gives gifts to kids who believe. So, they'd never admit *to me* that they don't believe. ;)

[Mrs Mungo]

I think it is pretty stupid for parents to lie to their kids. Yes, life is scary and the world can be hard, isn't that all the more reason to have 100% faith in your parents and their guidance?

 

I would think less of my parents if I knew they'd lied to me, for years, about something as silly as Santa or the likes thereof just for kicks or for whatever "magic" it was supposed to bring.

 

A mirage oasis is very exciting and heartening to a thirsty wandered but when they reach it and find it was false, well, can their BE a greater let down?

 

I see you are new here (in theory). It might be a good time for you to check out the board rules.<---just click the link!

 

Among them:

Be humble

Post your opinions and your experiences, but remember that other families may have different experiences than yours and may reason their way with impeccable logic to different conclusions. Posts which "lay down the law" may be deleted.

 

Do not assume that everyone on the boards shares a particular religious conviction

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[lionfamily1999]

I see you are new here (in theory). It might be a good time for you to check out the board rules.<---just click the link!

 

Among them:

You handled that better than I did. :lol:

[Katiebug_1976]

We have never done the "santa" thing. When our kids started asking about it we just explained the reason for celebrating Christmas (the birth of Christ) and that "Santa" has no place there for us. They have all been just fine with that. We do not want to distract our kids from the real reason for celebrating Christmas so we decided early on that they would know the truth about "Santa" from the beginning.

[Smithie]

My kids (6 and 4) love Santa movies, books, etc.

 

They know that Santa is pretend and that their Christian grandmother is the real Santa who puts presents under the tree (yes, I have a tree. I am an AMERICANIZED Jew. I have stockings embroidered with everybody's name, too. But I don't buy Christmas presents - that's her thing, and she loves it.) They know that Grandma likes to play Santa and they enjoy doing this pretend game with her. It hasn't seemed to be a big deal at all, so far.

 

Honestly, I think I'd have more Santa angst if Christmas was a religious holiday for me. But if putting up the tree won't make the kids grow up to be Druids, then playing the Santa game seems highly unlikely to turn them into adults who believe in magic, or Christians, or any combination thereof. I hope what they turn into is people who like celebrating and will take any excuse to do so.

 

(I have sometimes wondered why my MIL is completely, totally fine never talking to the kids about Jesus, but can't resist Santa. I have not ASKED to to refrain from Jesus talk - she just does. It's getting to the point where the first time they hear about Jesus will be in SOTW - NOT what I expected from an intermarriage! At all!)

[SnegurochkaL]

We have never done the "santa" thing. When our kids started asking about it we just explained the reason for celebrating Christmas (the birth of Christ) and that "Santa" has no place there for us. They have all been just fine with that. We do not want to distract our kids from the real reason for celebrating Christmas so we decided early on that they would know the truth about "Santa" from the beginning.

 

 

:iagree:

We did the same, so now my 8 years old tells her brother that there is no Santa at all. He knows if he gets Christmas/New Year presents they will be from family members, not magical Santa:)

[silliness7]

We've never told our children there was a Santa but we don't make a big deal out of Santa wrapping paper or ornaments or Christmas books.

 

We read this book to our children. We watched this Veggie Tales video this year and it tells the real story also. Great movie for all ages.

 

We basically told them that Saint Nicholas was a real person who lived a long time ago. That St. Nicholas loved Jesus very much and wanted to give others gifts as an expression of that love.

 

Today we give gifts to each other in the same way. The gifts under the tree come from Mom and Dad, and grandma and grandpa, all of who love you very much.

 

This is pretty much us too. We've never done the Santa thing, as in, Santa is coming to bring you presents or anything. We don't outlaw Santa but he's definitely in the background. I was kind of afraid if I told them there was such a thing as Santa Claus AND such a thing as God being born of a virgin and then one day said I was only kidding about the Santa Claus thing that they would wonder if one day I would say I was only kidding about the Jesus thing.

 

We've read books about the real St. Nicholas. In fact, I just got one today for our upcoming SOTW 2 studies: Saint Nicholas by Ann Tompert. I haven't read it yet but it was recommended in the SOTW Activity Guide.

 

Anyway, for some reason my kids get a huge kick out of "believing" in Santa even though I frequently remind them that St. Nicholas lived a long time ago and isn't alive anymore. Oh well, as long as it's their fantasy and not one I foist upon them I suppose all is well. :001_smile:

[HSMom2One]

My dd was in the second grade in ps at the time, and a boy named Daniel told her that Santa isn't real. She was very upset and came home that day with tears, pleading with me to tell her the truth. To be honest, dh and I enjoyed having Santa in the picture and were not going to tell her for AT LEAST another year or so. But when she came home and asked me point blank, I wasn't going to lie to her about it. So I told her that it was a fun game for children, and then we talked about St. Nicholas and the history behind our customs, that it had really been Mommy & Daddy all along because we wanted her to have special fun at Christmas. I was sad though, and from that day on I nicknamed Daniel, "The Grinch". We live in a small town and we see him from time to time as he passes by our house as he goes to and from ps where he still attends. We used to see him out the window and say to each other, "There goes the Grinch!"

 

BTW, Daniel is an older boy and has a tendency to be a bit of a bully with some kids. When he told dd there was no Santa, he was doing it in a mean way and intended to upset her. We have, of course, forgiven Daniel long ago despite this. One day while passing on the street I had the chance to talk to him about how he stole a childhood joy from my dd and he took it well. We've put the Grinch thing behind us, but I still have to laugh over it once in a while.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

Edited July 30, 2010 by HSMom2One

[IrresistibleGrace]

This is pretty much us too. We've never done the Santa thing, as in, Santa is coming to bring you presents or anything. We don't outlaw Santa but he's definitely in the background. I was kind of afraid if I told them there was such a thing as Santa Claus AND such a thing as God being born of a virgin and then one day said I was only kidding about the Santa Claus thing that they would wonder if one day I would say I was only kidding about the Jesus thing.

 

We've read books about the real St. Nicholas. In fact, I just got one today for our upcoming SOTW 2 studies: Saint Nicholas by Ann Tompert. I haven't read it yet but it was recommended in the SOTW Activity Guide.

 

Anyway, for some reason my kids get a huge kick out of "believing" in Santa even though I frequently remind them that St. Nicholas lived a long time ago and isn't alive anymore. Oh well, as long as it's their fantasy and not one I foist upon them I suppose all is well. :001_smile:

 

Same here! Great question!

[Earth Angel_79]

Thanks for this thread -- I've agonized over times the fact that I have let Santa get out of control, while at the same time bemoaning the fact that I felt my mom told me too young (she didn't want to lie to me). I think there is some good perspective here and I think I'll let it ride as long as the kids want to believe and keep emphasizing the true meaning of the season as we have always done. :)