Upgrading your wedding bands?

[oraetstudia]

Another "other" vote here.

 

I love my original wedding ring, but outgrew it halfway through my first pregnancy and my fingers never went back down to that size. It's a braided design that won't lend itself to resizing much, I suspect, and since I'm not done having kids, I am waiting to resize it until my fingers stop going up and down and settle on one size.

 

As a filler until I can some day wear my original ring again (I hope), I bought a lovely copy of an antique ring that I am quite fond of, although there is no particular sentiment attached to it.

 

Of course, now that I'm a million months pregnant, even that doesn't fit and all I have is a dent in my finger where I used to have a wedding ring.:glare:

[momofkhm]

There is no way I'd upgrade! Well, let me take that back. I'd be willing to upgrade if we decided to give ds our rings for he and his bride.

 

The cool thing about the rings - in Germany when one spouse dies, the other takes the rings, have them soldered together and then wear them. Dh's grandfather died in WW II, so he never knew him. We made it work so dh got his grandmother's ring and I got his grandfather's ring. You used to be able to see the original engraving for his grandparents.

[Colleen]

 

Nah, I don't need another ring. This one's just fine. It's half sentimental and half practical.

Okay, woman, 'splain yerself. How is wearing a ring "practical"? Do you just mean warding off interested parties? I've had guys show an interest in me, who seem to assume I'm single since I don't wear a ring. And I imagine Hans has had women show an interest in him since he's ring-less. Of course, some people might actually be more interested when they see a ring.;)

I'm also not into the whole ring thing. I greatly dislike the idea of branding a woman with an engagement ring, and told dh I'd flat out walk if insisted on one.

I hate the engagement ring phenomenon, which is largely cultural. I hate it when engaged girls/women go around flaunting their silly little diamond as if it's a reflection of their worth and/or their fiance's worth. I know of so many young guys who can barely survive one paycheck to the next who scrape together money for an engagement ring. So silly.

 

Edited July 2, 2010 by Colleen

[Mrs Mungo]

I've never in my life heard of someone "updating" a wedding ring. What does that mean? Buying a new one entirely? Why? Or does it mean adding to what you already have? In which case, I ask again...why?

 

I know a lot of people who have upgraded.

 

My grandmother didn't like her wedding set, she felt it was old-fashioned. At some point, she bought a new wedding set and had the old one melted into a pendant and the diamonds set into it.

 

My old neighbor bought a huge, fancy *looking* ring off of QVC that was diamonique (or some such) and cost around $100.

I have friends who have upgraded their diamonds, but kept their original setting.

 

My aunt and uncle both got totally new rings after they stopped their divorce and renewed their marriage vows.

 

[CAMom]

I voted "other."

 

My wedding rings are just not much my style anymore. They are yellow gold and I haven't worn any yellow gold in years. Plus, they don't fit me right now anyway.

 

A few years ago my husband bought me a very special ring to honor our daughter and I wore that on my wedding finger for quite some time.

 

Last summer, when my grandma was sick and I was caring for her, she gave me the ring she wore on her left hand. I'd always admired it and loved it so much. I had it sized and got it back from the jeweler the day before she died. She was already unconscious and never got to see it on me.

 

I wear that on my left hand now and moved my other ring to my right hand.

 

I would consider a new wedding set at some time.

[Colleen]

I know a lot of people who have upgraded.

 

My grandmother didn't like her wedding set, she felt it was old-fashioned. At some point, she bought a new wedding set and had the old one melted into a pendant and the diamonds set into it.

 

My old neighbor bought a huge, fancy *looking* ring off of QVC that was diamonique (or some such) and cost around $100.

I have friends who have upgraded their diamonds, but kept their original setting.

 

My aunt and uncle both got totally new rings after they stopped their divorce and renewed their marriage vows.

 

Proving once again that I'm just...different than other women. None of this would ever occur to me. I guess what I'm wondering is, aside from the fact that you know other people who have "updated", why are you considering this? You said you have a sentimental attachment to your original ring. You said you received another nice ring for your 10th anniversary. Why even worry about this so-called upgrading?

Edited July 2, 2010 by Colleen

[amy g.]

Well, you know I live under a rock because I've never heard of it either.

[Mrs Mungo]

Proving once again that I'm just...different than other women. Even as someone who doesn't have a ring any more, none of this would ever occur to me. Huh.

 

Well, I haven't upgraded and don't think I would. This poll is not for my benefit. ;)

[Colleen]

 

Well, I haven't upgraded and don't think I would. This poll is not for my benefit. ;)

Ah, okay. This is just a general, "How many people do this?" kinda thing. (Or you're trying to prove something to your husband...?)

 

[Mrs Mungo]

Ah, okay. This is just a general, "How many people do this?" kinda thing. (Or you're trying to prove something to your husband...?)

 

It was a question that sort of came up in a different thread. Not for my dh's benefit. He'd love it if I'd consent to wear more expensive jewelry instead of the semi-precious gems and dangly earrings that I prefer. :lol:

[3littlekeets]

Okay, woman, 'splain yerself. How is wearing a ring "practical"? Do you just mean warding off intereste parties? I've had guys show an interest in me, who seem to assume I'm single since I don't wear a ring. And I imagine Hans has had women show an interest in him since he's ring-less. Of course, some people might actually be more interested when they see a ring.;) I hate the engagement ring phenomenon, which is largely cultural. I hate it when engaged girls/women go around flaunting their silly little diamond as if it's a reflection of their worth and/or their fiance's worth. I know of so many young guys who can barely survive one paycheck to the next who scrape together money for an engagement ring. So silly.

 

 

Colleen,

 

Oddly, I'm with you in some ways. I "upgraded," but it is because I see them as just jewelry. I don't see them as a sign of commitment or love. We do that each and everyday.

 

He nor I need jewelery to prove it. BUT, I love jewelry, scarves, shoes. We have a good retirement, kids college funded, home paid off, and we bought new rings because they were pretty :lol:. Make sense?

[Colleen]

 

Oddly, I'm with you in some ways.

Who you callin' "oddly"?;)

 

[KidsHappen]

I voted other. We don't have first rings and really have no desire to get them. I was terribly tempted to vote for the next to last choice though.

[Paula in PA]

But decided why not. The last few years have been extremely rough and we came very, very close to splitting up because of certain actions on his part. We've been working hard at getting things better and decided that if we can make it to our 20th (August 2011), we would get new rings to signify our "new" committment to each other. We both want celtic-inspired rings this time.

[3littlekeets]

Who you callin' "oddly"?;)

 

 

bahhh....I meant "oddly" because I have upgraded, but I'm with you on the sentiment of the rings:D. But, oddly does resemble me quite a bit, as well :lol:. How 'bout you?

[Krista in LA]

Too attached, but might like another ring.

 

We had so much fun picking out my rings that I would really miss them if they were gone. What I would like is another ring like my dh's wedding ring - a platinum band with 5 princess cut diamonds channel set in it, kind of like an anniversary band but we had it custom made for him. I love the simplicity of it and would like one like it made for me.

[SilverMoon]

I voted for "I plan to upgrade at some point."

 

I really am very attached to mine and wouldn't want to trade it for anything.

 

Hub's, however, has taken a beating and probably won't look like anything he'd want to wear in twenty years, if he hasn't completely killed it by then. He's a mechanic, and even though he doesn't wear it during the work week he's constantly managing to squish, dent or otherwise maim the poor thing.

 

Our rings are exact matches and the style was discontinued shortly after we married. When (not if) hub needs a new one there's no way to get one that matches mine.

[Colleen]

 

bahhh....I meant "oddly" because I have upgraded, but I'm with you on the sentiment of the rings:D

Yeah, I got that.;)

But, oddly does resemble me quite a bit, as well :lol:. How 'bout you?

Depends on who you ask:D

 

[Veritaserum]

I've wanted an eternity band for ages. :) I'll always keep my originals, too, though.

[Sandy in Indy]

DH and I were older when we married (or at least it felt that way!). I was 28 and he was 37. He bought me a beautiful diamond at an estate auction and had it reset. I wouldn't trade it for anything! (We couldn't afford this ring now nevertheless anything better!) I like knowing that the diamond I wear was loved and appreciated by someone before me.

 

I actually thought at one point that I wanted an anniversary band to put under my ring to "frame" it. But I tried one on at the store and really didn't like the way it looked. No rings for me.

 

Now if he wanted to buy me diamond earrings...

[secular_mom]

I'm still trying to figure out what we want, and then I'm going to order new bands from Jenny in Atlanta.

They will be special because they are custom made, and made by a friend. They are not 'expensive', but it's really not the cost that makes things valuable to us. So, I would consider this an upgrade- I haven't even worn my rings in years, they don't fit and I don't like them now- they are gold and I prefer silver, etc. BUT it's not 'upgrading' as in we'll spend more money on them. They'll be even more special being made by a friend. :)

I voted 'other'.

[texasmama]

Upgrade! I bought my own wedding ring (and his), and mine is not expensive or nice. It is not ugly, either, but my tastes have changed through the years.:tongue_smilie:We have already looked at and pretty much decided on an "upgrade" ring...just don't have the cash for it. Maybe someday.:001_smile:

[IsabelC]

I would like to have different rings, not so much because mine are cheap (well, engagement ring was cheap and wedding ring was secondhand), but because now I now more about the diamond industry I wouldn't buy diamonds. But seeing those are the ones dh gave me when we were young and in lurve, I wouldn't change them for anything, no matter how flash.

[Joker]

I would actually like to "downgrade" my wedding ring. I would have rather had a plain band than diamonds. Dh knows now that I am not big on jewelry but I don't think he really understood at the time he proposed. He now knows, but I don't think it would ever cross his mind to "upgrade" me to a plain band. I may have to start dropping hints.:tongue_smilie:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Why even worry about this so-called upgrading?

 

From my extremely formal survey (just kidding) this is what I found out:

the engagement ring is supposed to be worth two months salary. Most young couples don't make that much when they are first married so the rings tend to be small and/or simple. As time goes by, however, the salary increases (sometimes dramatically) and the ring is upgraded to reflect the new economic status.

 

HTH;)

[Colleen]

From my extremely formal survey (just kidding) this is what I found out:

the engagement ring is supposed to be worth two months salary. Most young couples don't make that much when they are first married so the rings tend to be small and/or simple. As time goes by, however, the salary increases (sometimes dramatically) and the ring is upgraded to reflect the new economic status.

 

HTH;)

Oh, good gravy.:001_rolleyes::tongue_smilie:

[hornblower]

because now I now more about the diamond industry I wouldn't buy diamonds.

 

Do you mean essentially the monopoly or the mining practices in the 3rd world? Because if it's the latter, Canadian & Australian diamonds are mined as cleanly & ethically as any mining operations. (which maybe isn't saying much since mining is not pretty. And I say this a the wife of a geologist. Our family eats because of minerals & exploration & mining.) But you kwim? These aren't blood diamonds.....

[hornblower]

if we can make it to our 20th (August 2011), we would get new rings to signify our "new" committment to each other.

 

 

Awwwwww. I hope it all works out for you guys.

 

I think fundamentally there is something beautiful in the phrases 'I give you this ring as a token of my love' or 'With this ring I thee wed'

[Audrey]

Okay, woman, 'splain yerself. How is wearing a ring "practical"? Do you just mean warding off interested parties? I've had guys show an interest in me, who seem to assume I'm single since I don't wear a ring. And I imagine Hans has had women show an interest in him since he's ring-less. Of course, some people might actually be more interested when they see a ring.;) I hate the engagement ring phenomenon, which is largely cultural. I hate it when engaged girls/women go around flaunting their silly little diamond as if it's a reflection of their worth and/or their fiance's worth. I know of so many young guys who can barely survive one paycheck to the next who scrape together money for an engagement ring. So silly.

 

 

LOL! I guess I should explain that better. When I said "half sentimental, half practical" I was referring to why I wouldn't upgrade. Half of the reason is because I like my old one just fine, and half the reason is that it wouldn't be practical to spend money on a new ring.

 

I agree 100% with your reasons for disliking the engagement ring phenomenon, too. I think people apply far too much importance to such things as engagement rings, wedding bands, wedding dresses, honeymoons and wedding ceremonies. These things have absolutely nothing to do with marriage. I have several nieces whom I would like to shake hard until their little delusions fall right out of their naive little heads. :001_rolleyes:

[Audrey]

From my extremely formal survey (just kidding) this is what I found out:

the engagement ring is supposed to be worth two months salary. Most young couples don't make that much when they are first married so the rings tend to be small and/or simple. As time goes by, however, the salary increases (sometimes dramatically) and the ring is upgraded to reflect the new economic status.

 

HTH;)

 

 

In other words... it's all about the money. :tongue_smilie:

[Scuff]

I don't want another ring or an upgrade. I have tossed around the idea of getting a simple band, though. I love my ring, but sometimes wearing it makes my finger ache. I think having the diamond on there bumps it against my bone. I will never mention it to DH, though, because I think it'd hurt him.

[spradlin02]

In other words... it's all about the money. :tongue_smilie:

 

Of course it is.

[Murphy101]

I guess it could be all about the money.

 

Another way to look at it is that priorities are reflected by where we spend our time and our money.

 

Spending a significant portion of ones funds on what will be for many people the only physical symbol of their marriage might not be all about the money necessarily. It might simply be an expression of their priorities.

 

My dh gave me this ring when we were 16. I imagine it costs him about 4 months of burger king and lawn mowing paychecks way back then. But this was an item he planned on the most important person in his life wearing for then next 75+ years.

 

I love my ring. I used to think I'd upgrade one day. But I'm very attached to it. It's weathered a lot without breaking or getting lost and now it's pretty much imbedded for life and not ever leaving. Very much like my marriage. :)

 

However dh has said he'd like to get me a 20th or 25th anniversary ring for my right hand at some point. I wouldn't mind that.

[Impish]

When we got married, we were broke. Seriously broke. Wolf was upset that he couldn't get me an engagement ring. I told him that after we've been married for 10 yrs, bought a house, etc, then he could get me an engagement ring. I'd rather have a house than a ring.

 

So, we had our 7th anniversary in April, and I remind him now and again that our 10th means a sparklie. We both laugh about it.

 

So, yes, I'd say that I'm going to upgrade in a sense. The original band won't be touched, but I will eventually add an engagement ring. I'd like to renew our vows at the same time too, but you can't have everything! :lol:

[joannqn]

I voted other. I like my original ring, but I would NOT like another ring. My wedding ring is the only jewelry I wear except for a watch, when it has batteries. I'm not interested in another ring.

[sagira]

I voted "I wouldn't mind upgrading, if dh surprised me and I didn't have to think about the finances." This is exactly what happened. Dh is a gemologist and diamond expert who manages his family's jewelry store, so no worry about finances. I would have never asked for one (if it were for me alone there would be no decorations in the house either :tongue_smilie:). He surprised me with one on our tenth anniversary and I'm fine with it. I told him it wasn't necessary, but thanks. It's wider, white gold, and has three rows of diamonds. I like it too, as it's relatively simple and most important of all, comfortable to wear.

[Catherine]

He found he was allergic to nickel when he started wearing his original yellow gold ring, which was an absolutely beautiful one we picked out together. Bless his heart, he wore it daily anyway and just took it off at night, to help keep the rash to a minimum. Then he lost 40 pounds and it was way too big too.

 

I bought him a new white simple band for our 15th anniversary two years ago. It isn't platinum-palladium maybe? It's hypoallergenic anyway.

 

No upgrade for me though I did replace the prongs last year.

 

Ladies, check your prongs! My SIL just lost her diamond and she got married the same year I did.

[Crimson Wife]

DH gave me his grandma's set. The shank broke on the engagement ring a couple months ago. Fortunately I noticed it before I lost the ring! He's going to have it re-set for our anniversary in December. I'm hoping he'll have it put into a 3 stone ring with a larger center stone (we've been talking about this for years) but it all depends on our personal financial situation.

[AHASRADA]

When we married (young), I chose a very wide wedding band with filigree, because we couldn't afford a diamond (and didn't want a puny one).

 

On our 2nd anniversary, we bought a fairly inexpensive narrow anniversary band with a row of small diamonds, which I wore with my wedding band.

 

On our 10th, I had a right-hand family ring custom-made, with colored diamonds representing the birthstones of our family members (including dh and I).

 

For our 15th, I traded in the narrow anniversary band for a new one, similar style, but with larger diamonds.

 

Our 20th will be in a year and a half, and I'm thinking romantic trip more than jewelry.

 

For our 25th, though, I think I'd like a trip AND jewelry, hmm...

 

I understand the sentimental aspect of the rings, but isn't it more important to have a ring you love wearing, especially if you couldn't afford much at the time and/or your tastes have changed?

 

It's nice to have the originals melted down into something that can be worn in another way, or somehow incorporated into the new ring. A new ring that you love, presented to you on a milestone anniversary, can be a symbol of the years you have spent together and the memories you have made, and that is just as important (if not more important) than symbolizing the day you were married, IMO.

[~Kirsten~]

I voted for "I'm too attached," but that's not an entirely accurate answer. My youngest threw my rings away when she was toddling about. I didn't wear them around the house, so it took me a few days to notice they were missing, and within a week or so, we realized she had a new trick of throwing things into her diaper pail. :001_huh:

 

So, I now have an anniversary ring that I wear in place of my engagement ring and wedding band. It disappoints me not to have the originals, but at the same time, I couldn't bear to replace those exact rings since I would no longer "need" an engagement ring. Does that make any sense? Left to my own devices, I'd have never replaced them. I loved them. But I do love my new band, and we have (another) great story. :D I'll take my daughter (okay, both of them, in fact) over my rings any day.

[Guest]

I do like voting in polls... was actually scanning for them, :D :tongue_smilie:

[babs]

My dh lost my wedding band as I was having a c-section - I had to remove it for surgery and handed it to him. That was mearly 7 years ago. I still had the engagement solitaire...but wore it in a hot tub this past Dec. and the sizeable diamond fell out at some point. Looked high and low - in the pool filters and beyond. So, I now have a diamondless ring (and yes, I had the prongs redone a few years ago...chorine is BAD for gold!)

 

Dh wants to get me something new. Having lost the diamond, I am reluctant to buy another expensive stone! Insurance did not cover it. Neither did the jeweler. So, looking at less expensive stones that look like diamonds...what are your thought on cubic zirconia? I still want platinum for the setting. Advice?

[misty.warden]

 

From my extremely formal survey (just kidding) this is what I found out:

the engagement ring is supposed to be worth two months salary. Most young couples don't make that much when they are first married so the rings tend to be small and/or simple. As time goes by, however, the salary increases (sometimes dramatically) and the ring is upgraded to reflect the new economic status.

 

HTH;)

 

 

Hype started by DeBeers to sell more expensive diamonds by preying on fears (If he doesn't spend enough it's because he thinks I'm not worth it!)

 

I have simple tastes so I wouldn't need to upgrade because of not affording what I wanted the first time. I like the symbol of being attached or kept or whatever you call it that engagement rings give, and I like the way solitaires look, but upgrading because you make more money now and need to keep with the "rules" of how expensive rings should be? Ridiculous and just showing off, IMO

[EmilyGF]

When I got married, our jeweler (a family friend), told me, "You're marrying your husband, not your ring!" My ring cost less than a pair of jeans, about $50, since we got it wholesale. I could totally see upgrading at some point in the future!

 

I voted other because I have no plans to upgrade, but would be happy to change in the future!

 

Emily

[HS Mom in NC]

Other.

 

I wouldn't upgrade because the first one is good enough. Even if we had piles of money I wouldn't upgrade. I understand why my grandparents did, they got married at the beginning of WWII and were 20 years old, so their rings were very humble. They upgraded. I just don't think it's important and I'm not remotely sentimental about inanimate objects-including wedding and anniversary rings. My husband did buy me another ring at our 10 year, but it was another simple gold band to go on the other side of my engagement ring which was next to my simple gold wedding band. I like symmetry.

[lexi]

I like both my rings. I don't want to upgrade. We are about to hit 10 years and my hubby asked about my rings. I sweetly asked for books. He thinks I'm nuts! ;)

So I vote other. I want books!!!!

[momtoamiracle]

I would never upgrade my wedding band.

 

We couldn't afford an engagement ring so that is all I had for 10 yrs. I got a diamond solitaire for our tenth and then a few years after that dh bought another diamond ring. I'm not one for a lot of jewelry so I'm satisfied with that and feel no need for more.

 

 

I love my wedding band and feel it still suits me, even after 25 years.

 

 

ETA - for our 25th ann dh got me a brand new dryer. The sales lady thought it was an odd gift, but I was thrilled! For our 12th he got me a dishwasher. I still have that dishwasher too, runs like a top still.

 

I adore appliances for anniversary presents! I much rather them than a ring!

[IsabelC]

So is this just a random zombie thread, or is Mrs. Mungo going to spill the beans on what she decided to do?

[Meriwether]

I voted other. I have largish knuckles. They don't look large now but will probably get knobby when I am older. When we got married, I was young and thin. I got a tiny little ring that just squeezed over my knuckle. Then I had kids, and I couldn't get the ring off. I felt...claustrophobic. I am not a jewelry person. This past Monday my hands got really cold. I was fiddling with my ring when I realized I could get it off. :hurray: This has been the only week since we've been married that I haven't worn it. Dh noticed after a few days. "What do you mean you felt TRAPPED by your wedding ring." :laugh: It probably wasn't the most diplomatic thing I could have said. I don't want an upgrade, but I might have it resized. I lost my engagement ring before we were married. Dh offered to replace it. No way will I ever wear something that expensive again having lost the first one.

[Parrothead]

This is two years old.

 

Mrs. M - did you get new rings?