If you were GIVEN the curriculum, would you sell it?

[coffeefreak]

ETA: It's resolved! Thanks so much for your advice!

Edited June 30, 2010 by coffeefreak

[Tidbits of Learning]

If she gave her blessing, then I would do what I needed to do.

[mom4him]

If she gave her blessing, then I would do what I needed to do.

:iagree:

[Kathleen in VA]

She gave it to you to bless you in whatever way it can. If you need to sell it so you can buy something you'd prefer to use I think she'd approve.

[Capt_Uhura]

My DH watches the show Pickers. These two men, and others like them, make a living picking through others "stuff" to find things they can buy to then turn around and sell to others at a profit. Others buy run down houses for cheap, fix them up and then sell them for a nice profit. It's business.

 

It's a tough one. First and foremost would be how my friend feels about my selling it. If she is OK with it, and I really needed the money, I'd sell it. Actually, I gave a friend a book and told her to sell it at her local HS store and she could keep whatever money she made on it. :001_smile:

[elegantlion]

Yes, if she has given you the curriculum without attachment, then feel free to sell. I have given curriculum to others, what they do with it when it is out of my hands is up to them. If it works better to sell and use the proceeds to buy something else, great.

[Heather in WI]

I wouldn't feel right profiting in this situation.

[abbeyej]

I give away a lot of curriculum (and hand-me-downs, etc). There have been one or two items where I've said very explicitly, "I'd really like this back if you don't use it." For everything else, I say what your friend does. And I mean it.

 

If you won't be using it, it sounds like she's perfectly happy for you to be blessed by the money you can get by selling it.

[kewb]

The curriculum was a gift. What you choose to do with the gift is your business alone.

[PentecostalMom]

She has repeatedly said I can do whatever I want with it, "sell, give, throw, I don't care!

 

I completely understand the feeling of weirdness. However, if she has said that you can do whatever, as you stated in your post, then I would take that at face value. If you aren't going to use it, then why let it sit? You should not feel bad if she has given her blessing.

 

FYI, I do the same thing with my kids clothing. I give them away to anyone I think needs it. I tell them the same thing. If you are not going to use it, do whatever you want. They are given with a free heart and no strings attached!

[Mommyfaithe]

sell it and if you make lots, then take her out for a coffee, or a light lunch.

 

Faithe

[LoveBaby]

The curriculum was a gift. What you choose to do with the gift is your business alone.

:iagree:

[Sue in WI]

No, but I will give away curriculum to someone that wants it and needs it when I am done with it. If she said that she didn't care if you sold it, then I would probably sell it, and buy curriculum that you need.

Edited June 28, 2010 by Sue in WI

[Crimson Wife]

No, but I will give away curriculum to someone that wants it and needs it when I am done with it.

 

:iagree:

I personally think it's tacky to sell a gift, with the exception of an inheritance (since that person is no longer around).

[JMDRAD]

If she said she does not care what you do with it... sell it! Some people just do not want to go through the hassle of selling so they give it away. I've done that with things given to us. For large or expensive items, such as furniture, I'll ask the giver if they would like the item back. If the answer is no, I'll do with it what I want.

[Tracy]

I am just one of those types that doesn't want to bother with selling things. If I gave something away, it would be with the hope that it would be useful. If the recipient tried it and it didn't work, it would not bother me in the least if that person sold it. But if the person never had any intention of using it, then it would bother me if they turned around and sold it right away (unless that was our understanding).

[Just Robyn]

If you need the money, sell it. If you can do without the money, give it away. Basically, I believe in giving what you can, but if you are in need then imo that counts as not being able to give something from which you could profit.

[dansamy]

I am like this. I give things all the time to other people and tell them that what they do with it once it is theirs is not my concern. I've given away clothing, furniture, cars, appliances. I sold a friend a car for $50. He drove it for a few months and sold it for $750. Did it bother me? Nope!

[GrassTiger]

I chose other. In this specific instance, I might consider selling it since she said you could sell it. But, really, I've kind of developed a "freecycle" mentality--which is if you got it for free it should be given for free. I think I'd try to find someone who wanted to use it first. I don't think I'd pay shipping to give it to them (unless it was a friend of mine whom I KNEW would actually use it or seriously intended to) nor do I think I'd just offer it on freecycle to a stranger (depending on what it was), but I'd probably only sell it if I couldn't find someone who wanted to use it.

 

If you really need the money and your friend knows that, I wouldn't feel bad about selling it.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I chose other. In this specific instance, I might consider selling it since she said you could sell it. But, really, I've kind of developed a "freecycle" mentality--which is if you got it for free it should be given for free. I think I'd try to find someone who wanted to use it first. I don't think I'd pay shipping to give it to them (unless it was a friend of mine whom I KNEW would actually use it or seriously intended to) nor do I think I'd just offer it on freecycle to a stranger (depending on what it was), but I'd probably only sell it if I couldn't find someone who wanted to use it.

 

If you really need the money and your friend knows that, I wouldn't feel bad about selling it.

 

:iagree:

[Tiberia]

I often give away stuff to my friend with no strings attached. Sometimes she sells it. I don't have a problem with that. She does the "work" of selling it (putting it online, taking it somewhere, mailing it, etc.), which I don't want to deal with, so I'm glad she gets something out of it.

 

If she has given her blessing, do what you want with it. It's yours now. It would be a different story if she had put some limits on it: give it back if you don't use it; give it to someone else when you're done. But, there are no limits. Go for it!

[Capt_Uhura]

I personally don't see this as a "gift." Gift=something someone shopped for or made for you w/ the intentions of making you happy. I see the OPs "gift" more as a "here's curriculum I"m done with. See if it'll work for you. If not, do whatever you want with it." It wasn't a gift, given from the heart. It was a gift given w/ heart, yes, but I see a difference there. I'd rather see her sell it to someone who can't afford to buy it brand new, than to see it put in the trash/recycled or left on a shelf. If she knows someone to give it to that would use it and didn't need the money, that would be the way I would go. But if she needs the money, I say go for it. If she makes alot of money on it, I like someone's idea of taking the friend out for coffee and dessert.

[rwjx2khsmj]

If a friend blessed my with a gift that I didn't need but knew I could pass that blessing forward to someone else in need, I'd give it away. Sometimes, it's okay to make a profit and sometimes it's better to find someone to bless. Chances are, if you choose to bless another family, you'll find the $$ you need somewhere else.

[Katiebug_1976]

It sounds like your friend gave these to you with no strings attached. If you are not going to use them then it's silly to hang onto them. Besides, there may be someone out there that can use them. So I say if you can sell them & use the money for buy what you do need, then go for it. You shouldn't feel funny about it at all. Your friend even went so far as to "give you permission" (for lack of a better phrase) to sell them if you wanted to. It can't get better than that! Just think, even if you sell the books to buy what you need, you will still be using whar he/she gave you to benefit you dc's education!

[Lostinabook]

Well I voted "no" before I read your post. If she gave it to you saying she doesn't mind if you sell it, then you should feel free to sell it!

[Soror]

If a friend blessed my with a gift that I didn't need but knew I could pass that blessing forward to someone else in need, I'd give it away. Sometimes, it's okay to make a profit and sometimes it's better to find someone to bless. Chances are, if you choose to bless another family, you'll find the $$ you need somewhere else.

That is my thought as well. Pay it forward to someone else who really needs it. We had a house fire a few yrs ago and so many people gave out of the kindness of their heart, I will never forget that and try to be as generous as I can.

[Dinsfamily]

I wouldn't sell it, either. I'd give it away to someone who could use it. However, based on your friend's comment, I don't think it would be wrong for you to sell it.

[AHASRADA]

I would ask the "giver" if she wants it back, and tell her if she doesn't, that you will probably sell it. This gives her the option to take it back and sell it herself to recoup her investment. If she declines, then it is your gain.

[QuirkyKapers]

If you asked her if she wanted it back and that you are no longer going to use it but would she mind if you sell it, I say go for it!

[justasque]

You've said she didn't care what you did with it. I've been on both sides of this. When I give something away freely to a friend, I don't want it back, and I don't want any of the money if they sell it (unless it's more than $100 or so, in which case I wouldn't mind a cut!) It takes effort to sell something, so that's part of the issue too.

 

If we're talking a significant amount of money, with a fairly small amount of effort in the selling, then I think you should sell it and in some way give her something back - either a part of the money, or a nice lunch, or an outing for both of your families, or a donation to her favorite charity. Or you could keep it as a "slush fund" until you see the right way to bless her or someone else with it. If we're talking $30 or $40 or $50, then I wouldn't sweat it. (Unless, of course, your friend is in need, in which case selling it for her and giving her the profit would be a nice thing to do - but it sounds like she doesn't need the money.)

 

Don't forget that when you sell used stuff, you're blessing the buyer, too, who otherwise would have had to pay full price. You're blessing your family by de-cluttering your house. You're blessing your friend by helping her de-clutter.

 

It's NOT ok, IMHO, to take something you don't intend to use in order to profit from it, under the pretense that you'll use it. That's deceitful, of course. But this is a different situation.

[Tree House Academy]

If it bugged me morally enough to post this poll, I would find a deserving family and pass the curriculum on free of charge. :)

[Carol in Cal.]

I would feel funny about profiting from a gift. I don't think it's morally wrong, but it's kind of squicky.

[coffeefreak]

If she said she does not care what you do with it... sell it! Some people just do not want to go through the hassle of selling so they give it away. I've done that with things given to us. For large or expensive items, such as furniture, I'll ask the giver if they would like the item back. If the answer is no, I'll do with it what I want.

 

I chose other. In this specific instance, I might consider selling it since she said you could sell it. But, really, I've kind of developed a "freecycle" mentality--which is if you got it for free it should be given for free. I think I'd try to find someone who wanted to use it first. I don't think I'd pay shipping to give it to them (unless it was a friend of mine whom I KNEW would actually use it or seriously intended to) nor do I think I'd just offer it on freecycle to a stranger (depending on what it was), but I'd probably only sell it if I couldn't find someone who wanted to use it.

 

If you really need the money and your friend knows that, I wouldn't feel bad about selling it.

 

I often give stuff away (books, clothes, furniture etc) when I don't need the money. It's simply too much of a hassle to list books, have garage sales, etc. That's why up till now I've loaned it out to others and hung onto it. Now, no one wants it :lol:.

 

I personally don't see this as a "gift." Gift=something someone shopped for or made for you w/ the intentions of making you happy. I see the OPs "gift" more as a "here's curriculum I"m done with. See if it'll work for you. If not, do whatever you want with it." It wasn't a gift, given from the heart. It was a gift given w/ heart, yes, but I see a difference there. I'd rather see her sell it to someone who can't afford to buy it brand new, than to see it put in the trash/recycled or left on a shelf. If she knows someone to give it to that would use it and didn't need the money, that would be the way I would go. But if she needs the money, I say go for it. If she makes alot of money on it, I like someone's idea of taking the friend out for coffee and dessert.

 

This is how I feel about curriculum I've given away. I have passed curriculum onto several families that were overjoyed to receive it. Only once did I get upset because I LOANED it to someone and, when I asked for it back (to use with my youngest), she quit talking to me. :glare: A mutual friend told me she had sold it, and that irritated me even more. That's when I stopped loaning curriculum out, and only gave or sold it. That's why I want to make sure she doesn't mind me selling it. I couldn't help but feel partially responsible for the misunderstanding in the other situation. When you give stuff away, AND loan it out, I could see where she might have gotten confused. However, she should have just told me. I really would have understood.

 

I would ask the "giver" if she wants it back, and tell her if she doesn't, that you will probably sell it. This gives her the option to take it back and sell it herself to recoup her investment. If she declines, then it is your gain.

 

I decided to do this. I sent her a text and I'll probably hear back from her later in the week. This is too good a friend to have any weirdness between us. And, just because she felt that way a year ago, when she just wanted all the homeschooling materials out of her house, doesn't mean she still feels that way.

 

Thanks!

Dorinda

[susancollins]

If she gave you her blessing then I would sell it. If someone gives me something for my kids and if I sell if after they outgrow it or used it. I will sometimes give them half the cost of what I sold it for, or take them out to eat. I have even bought their children a shirt, outfit, toy or books when I find it on sale. I sometimes pass it on to another family who I know will be blessed. I would not feel bad if she gave it to you and told you to do whatever you would like with it.

[homeschooltoone]

I personally would not feel comfortable selling it. I'm so sorry that you are in this situation.

[In2why]

I answered no in the poll because I haven't ever sold anything and instead usually donate it.....but that is me not wanting the hassle of selling stuff. But in your situation you should sell it if you want to. Once I give something to someone I don't care what they do with it. In fact it would make me happy to know that you sold it to get something you actually could use.

[EJCMom]

I'm an online student right now. I became friends with a classmate who also lives in the area. Whenever she is taking a class that I've already taken, I give the books to her for that class. My sincere HOPE is that when she is done, she sells the books to give her family a little extra money to spend on school books for herself, or for her boys, whom she homeschools, or whatever other needs the family may have at the time.

 

My point is, that when someone gives a person a gift, their intention is that the gift will be a blessing to them in whatever way they need. Sometimes that blessing is the use of the item, and other times it is the blessing of the money that they could earn by selling it. So, I hope you don't feel guilty about it.

[4littleones]

Personally, this verse is my guide: ""...Freely you have received, freely give..." - Matthew 8:10

 

I have seen that people bless me and when I bless others with free stuff, I am blessed again by other people. What goes round comes round..

 

Having said that, I think you friend has given you permission to sell it.

[Food4Thought]

I also have a homeschooling friend who gives me a lot of her old curriculum. My usual habit is to "pay it forward" and give those things (or others of my things at the time) away to another family that could use them.

 

However, in your case, I don't think it's wrong to sell it. She did say she didn't care what you did with it. Ethically, I think it's perfectly appropriate to sell it.

[Capt_Uhura]

Coffeebreak said "I often give stuff away (books, clothes, furniture etc) when I don't need the money. It's simply too much of a hassle to list books, have garage sales, etc. That's why up till now I've loaned it out to others and hung onto it. Now, no one wants it ."

 

Ok, I said yes before but if you've loaned it out to those who needed it, hung on to it, and no one wants it, and it's OK with your friend, by all means list it and sell it! :001_smile:

[WishboneDawn]

I think it's wonderful to give but I think it' also a virtue to sometimes recognize and truly accept the gifts others give to you.

 

If she's given them to you with no strings and you're at a point that you could use the extra money then accept her gift fully by selling it and letting it benefit you. The thank her at a later date and let her know how important her gift to you was. At another time when things aren't so tight then pass something on.

 

Heck, is it possible that she knows you could use the money and was trying to find a way to help without offending you?

[Starr]

You need the money and she gave it to you to do what you wanted with it. She wants to be free of it and gave you a wee blessing. Take it. :)

[NavyWifeandMommy]

I cannot sell what has been given to me even if the person says it's okay. I just don't persoanally feel right. I just pass it on to another family and hope that when they are done with it or not going to use it that they just pass it on.

[Disney Dreaming]

She is done with homeschooling and didn't want it back if you didn't use it. I would sell it!

[IsabelC]

I would generally not sell anything that I didn't make or pay for myself. But since she has specifically stated that she doesn't mind if you sell it, I would feel that is OK to do so if you need the money.

[mom31257]

If someone gives something as a blessing, and that person needs money, I don't see anything wrong with selling it. I see that as another form of being able to bless someone.

[Celia]

Normally I wouldn't sell what was given to me, but if I needed the money, and I knew the person who gave it wouldn't be offended, then I don't see a problem and would sell it.

[mom2denj]

:iagree:Totally!

If she gave her blessing, then I would do what I needed to do.

[golfcartmama]

If she's fine with it, by all means sell it! If for some reason you get an inordinate amount of money for it and feel weird about it still (think Barton Reading resale prices) you could always get her a gift card as a thank you.

[coffeefreak]

ETA: It's resolved

Thanks for all the advice!

Dorinda

Edited June 30, 2010 by coffeefreak