Does anyone here have a wide spread in childrens' ages?

[Blessedfamily]

Just wondering how you feel about starting over when you were half-way there.

 

ETA----- The reason I ask is because someone at ballet asked the age differenced between my kids. When I said 4yrs, she said she'd kill herself if she had a 4yo and had to start over with a baby.

Edited June 6, 2010 by Blessedfamily

[NanceXToo]

18, 9, and 4!

 

I actually like having my kids spread apart like that. Having one sleepless infant or troublesome toddler at a time is enough lol. By the time the next one came along, the previous ones were old enough to be helpful, entertain themselves, etc.

 

(Of course I'm sure there's something to be said for having kids closer together in age so they could grow up being close and doing things together and all that, too)!

[amy g.]

There are 15 years between my oldest and youngest.

 

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Jean in Newcastle]

From the perspective of someone who is much younger than my siblings, my older sister (12 years older than me) and I are best friends.

[Denisemomof4]

I never really started over but my oldest is 18 and my youngest is 7. I loved the age spread when they were younger. I loved having individual time with them. As they got older and everyone had to do separate activities, I didn't like that.

 

Now that I have two older boys and two younger girls, I'm sad because it's not as easy to do things as a family as it once was. Now that oldest ds is 18, graduating from high school this week, has a girlfriend, is working, and will be going to college, I'm SO sad that we won't be doing much as a family anymore. Which will make younger ds unhappy, to do things without his brother. I'll probably have him invite a friend sometimes when we have day trips.

 

I just can't believe how quickly the time goes by.

 

Being an older mother (I'm 47, was 40 when youngest was born) is harder and I'm more tired, but I DO have more patience. ;) Maybe I shouldn't admit that...... otherwise.......... Oh, I'm not going to go there. :001_unsure:

[PineFarmMom]

ETA----- The reason I ask is because someone at ballet asked the age differenced between my kids. When I said 4yrs, she said she'd kill herself if she had a 4yo and had to start over with a baby.

 

 

:glare::confused::lol:

 

That's kind of a bold statement, isn't it??? Kill herself?? I have a 14yo and a newborn...how about that for spread apart. It's awesome!!! :001_smile: I appreciate the newborn so much more since I know how fast the time goes!!

 

Edit: I re-read this and realized that it sounds as if I have no other children!! I just put my oldest and youngest to show the age difference! I have 3 in between there: ages 12, 6, and 4.

Edited June 7, 2010 by Texas T

[Vida Winter]

31, 27, 15, 10, 5

 

That lady needs to :chillpill:

[delaney]

14,11,10,6,4,1.5

it was hard with the almost 4 year gaps but nice in a way too

[Blessedfamily]

:glare::confused::lol:

 

That's kind of a bold statement, isn't it??? Kill herself?? I have a 14yo and a newborn...how about that for spread apart. It's awesome!!! :001_smile: I appreciate the newborn so much more since I know how fast the time goes!!

 

Lol. That's exactly what she said. She's an Italian lady with two beautiful olive-skinned girls, and she was very expressive when she said it.

[Hillary in KS]

Nearly 15, 9, and 7.

 

We wouldn't have picked the age spread, but - GOODNESS!- it's nothing to threaten suicide over. Good grief.:glare:

 

My brother and I are 18 months apart. We were 10 and 9 when my youngest brother was born.

 

We were 13 and 12 when my sister was born.

 

My parents weren't thrilled about the *idea* of starting over, but once the babies were here they couldn't imagine life without them! My brother and I *loved* being older siblings to them. :001_smile:

[cat in black]

I had my babies in 1975, 1982, and 1991. That was 7 years between the first two and then almost 10 years until the last one was born,when I was 40. My daughter was 16 and drove me to the hospital in labor because my husband was 2 hours away.

How's that for spacing?

You would not believe how many people asked me if they shared the same father! (they did)

They are all grown now and I am grateful for my long span of childbearing years. If not for that late-in-life baby, my nest would have been empty for an extra 10 years.

[Mommyfaithe]

Just wondering how you feel about starting over when you were half-way there.

 

ETA----- The reason I ask is because someone at ballet asked the age differenced between my kids. When I said 4yrs, she said she'd kill herself if she had a 4yo and had to start over with a baby.

 

Me...mine are all spread out. Sometimes it's a drag...but mostly fun. Especially to see my olders play with the younger set and focus on something besides themselves. My oldest is 24 and my youngest is 6.

They are 24, 21, 19, 16,12, 8 & 6...so we have 2 4 year gaps a couple of 3 year and some closies.

 

I don't think a 4 year difference is starting over. My SIL has 7 years between dd 1 & dd 2. That was an adjustment but still worked out fine. In my lamaze class with dd 2 there was a woman having her 2nd baby and her older dd was 18! She was there with dad as a coach! That was kinda cool.

 

Faithe

[JVA]

28, 28, 23, 21, 13 4 Sons and 1 Daughter

 

And we love it! But, we would have loved any configuration, age spread and even having more. Fertility wasn't always easy and we view every baby a blessing. We were so grateful to be able to have our 'bonus boy'. He's a joy, keeps us young(er) and has been instrumental in providing our older kids with great opportunities to love, protect, encourage, and teach their little brother. He's not so little, but still the 'baby brother'.

 

I'm sorry that woman feels so stressed. Sounds like she needs a break.

Edited June 6, 2010 by JVA

[flyingmommy]

I have a 22yo, a 14yo, and a 9yo. I love their spacing! It was not intentional but I am happy that it worked out that way. They have had all the benefits of being only children as well as the benefits of siblings!

 

J

[MariannNOVA]

here are their ages:

 

31, 30 (on July 10), 11, 9.5, 9.5 (yes, they are twins)

 

ETA: I am so thankful that dd11 came as a lone, little baby and I was able to cuddle, nurse, rock, and stare at her. I do not think I would have tried again after the twins had they come first - I know a few friends with twins who will not be having siblings to the twins BUT do express sadness that they did not get to experience one little baby at a time. I understand what they are talking about.

 

I don't care for the expression "I'd kill myself" (this is not directed at you, OP :)) -- I'm just putting it out there that I do wish people wouldn't say it. I think it's an inappropriate thing to say.

Edited June 6, 2010 by MariannNOVA

[3lilreds in NC]

I have 10, 9, and 2. I wouldn't have chosen to have the first 2 as close together as they are, or for Schmooey to be so far apart, but I have to tell you that God had is all worked out for me. If I hadn't had Abbie so close to Emma, I am quite sure I could have talked myself out of having another child - EVER. Also, we have enjoyed Schmooey TREMENDOUSLY, having him so far apart from the girls. It was a shock to my system, no doubt, starting over with an infant again, but it has been a blast. With the girls, I thought I was losing my mind for about 5 years. If you knew me IRL then, you would probably say that I was right about that! :D With Isaac, though, just having ONE baby has been amazing. I mentioned in another thread that I've had such a good time with him, I wish I hadn't had my tubes tied. Dh says he's really done with me being pregnant though. Apparently I was very crabby, although I have no memory of this. :lol:

[MamaT]

From the perspective of someone who is much younger than my siblings, my older sister (12 years older than me) and I are best friends.

 

I also have a sister who is 12 years older and is my best friend.

 

My kids are 24, 22, 16, 13, 11, 10. I love to watch the relationship between the olders and youngers. They are all very close, just in different ways.

[EKS]

My kids are 5.5 years and 6 grades apart. We waited that long on purpose because the first one was so exhausting. Actually, he was still exhausting when we had the second one, but you can only wait so long. Personally, I think that 4 years apart is perfect spacing because you won't have any problems with the history rotation!

[StartingOver]

I had two sets. Mine are 22, 20, 18... My husbands are 30, 29, 25, 24..... Ours are almost 4 and 2.

 

20 years for me, and 28 for him... between oldes and youngest.

 

We are having so much more fun this time around. But we are definitely done now.

Edited June 6, 2010 by alatexan68

[West Coast Mom]

9, 8, 23 months, #4 due in 12 days.

 

I love spread. We lovingly call them Round 1 and Round 2. There is a closeness between the oldest 2 and #3 that I love to watch. I hope that continues on with #4.

 

The only annoying aspect is when people ask if they are from two different marriages. I sweetly explain that they are from the same, 17 year marriage.

 

Frankly, I am much less uptight with Round 2! I've been down the road before and it makes for a more relaxed mama!

[ereks mom]

We did not want two in diapers at one time, and we did not want two in college at the same time!

[texasmama]

10 years between the first and the last. There are benefits and drawbacks to all situations, but I like mine.:001_smile: When the last child was a baby, my oldest was ten and was old enough to be helpful but not so old that she was not interested in helping. It was a nice dynamic for all of us.

[Blessedfamily]

My kids are 5.5 years and 6 grades apart. We waited that long on purpose because the first one was so exhausting. Actually, he was still exhausting when we had the second one, but you can only wait so long. Personally, I think that 4 years apart is perfect spacing because you won't have any problems with the history rotation!

 

 

:D Didn't think of that. I mean I was trying to give dd some companionship during that time, but it wasn't working. I had really given up and when #2 just.... appeared.

 

If it hadn't taken so long, I would have liked more children.

[coffeegal]

Just wondering how you feel about starting over when you were half-way there.

 

ETA----- The reason I ask is because someone at ballet asked the age differenced between my kids. When I said 4yrs, she said she'd kill herself if she had a 4yo and had to start over with a baby.

 

At Christmas, God willing, Dh and I will have 14, 13, 11, 8, 17 months, and newborn. We will have our older family, and our younger family. As the oldest 4 gear up for leaving the nest, I'll start homeschooling all over again with the youngest 2. I can avoid an empty nest for several more years. :D My kids are among the oldest at our homeschool group...and the youngest. I was there when the group started up, and I'm going to be sticking around a very long time. ;)

 

The best part is getting to 'start over' as an experienced mother. It's easier to deal with a demanding newborn since I know how quickly this stage will be gone. Getting up in the middle of the night doesn't faze me, dh and I are much calmer with a screaming infant, and I'm not worried about being the perfect mom. I'll never be a perfect mom, so why sweat the small stuff. :lol:

[Mothersweets]

Yes, we have eleven starting at age 22 and going down to age 3. It isn't as crazy as it sounds - the olders help with the youngers.

 

It was daunting sometimes just thinking of having to teach eleven kids to read. I mean, how many times can you sit through the Pathway readers and not lose it? :) My 5yo is reading now so that means I only have one more to get started reading! yay

[Sandy in Indy]

My older kids are 3 years apart...then we have a 9 year gap to number 3. Not what I intended...time just kind of got away from us. You reach a certain age and think, "gee, if we want another child, guess we should do something about it!" I originally planned to have 2 more but number 3 was the definition of a high-needs baby. (That or my dh forgot to cut the cord.) So, we have 3 and we're happy with that.

[Tap]

Ds 15, dd 11, dd3.5

 

I really love the 4 years between the oldest. I feel like my son got a chance to be a baby and he was getting very independent when dd11 was born.

 

 

I really don't love the 12 and 8 years between the baby and my older kids.

It was too long. I really dreaded going back into car seats, baby sitters, and toys filling the downstairs of my house.

 

DD3 is adopted. At one point, we almost got her bio-brother too. I wish in some ways that we would have. He is 4 years older than her, so we would of had 4 years between all the kids. I think dd3 would be an easier child if she had someone to play with.

 

With the age spans, my kids are always going in three different diretions. They would have never been in the same school, sport teams or rec activities.

 

I see my friends who have a couple close together and they get to enjoy things together....I wish we had that here. Even planning a vacation is hard. What would interest ds15 is not entertaining for dd3. It is hard to justify taking little kid vacations (like Lego Land) when my older kids won't like it.

[Donna A.]

A bit of a span here, but not quite as much as most of you ladies. ;) Our girls are 14, 11, and 7... not planned that way. We wanted more but have had several miscarriages. I'll be 47 in a couple months and would still LOVE to have more if the Lord would choose to bless that way. :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Personally, I think that 4 years apart is perfect spacing because you won't have any problems with the history rotation!

 

Ds (almost 13) and dd8 are perfectly spaced for our history rotation:) My friends could not understand my excited babbling once I figured that one out!

[Quiver0f10]

Mine are in my signature but I have a 21 yo down to a 5 yo. I would love another baby and hope and pray we are blessed again.

[cornelia9805]

Every age gap has its good and its bad. It just depends on what would work for your family. No one can speak to how it would work for a certain family. We have an almost 11yo, 6yo and a 3yo. I would love to have more and at this point the next one would be close to 4 years younger than #3. I wasn't ready to have more babies when my girls were younger. When they get a little older, I am. :)

[cathmom]

I have started over twice (gaps of at least 5 years) and wouldn't change a thing!

[Tam101]

I have 12-years between my two and wouldn't change a thing. They are very close even though she is away at college.

[Carrie12345]

Wow! I have two gaps of 3yr9mo and I'm about to have a 3yr8mo gap. I also have a 13 month gap, for a grand total of 12 years and change. I've NEVER felt that I was "starting over", I just kept going. Mine have always been babies in my eyes until the next came along.

 

Granted, I do always wish I'd have hung on to more infant clothes and supplies, lol.

[tennismomkelly]

My oldest and middle are 5.5 years apart. We didn't plan to have them so far apart but that was God's plan for us. I guess that He knew I'd need the oldest to be able to help me out with the baby. ;) My middle and youngest are only 21 months apart.

 

Thank goodness for being able to combine wide age spans into the same history rotation! :D

[TXMary2]

Mine are almost 19, 14 and 6! I'd also have another baby if God gave me one :)

[Ester Maria]

13 y.o., 12 y.o., a baby due in September. :)

 

At first I was a little bit concerned over that situation - would I be able to handle two teens and a toddler at the same time, giving them each appropriate emotional and educational support from me they need as well as enough one on one time? - but now when I think about it, it looks just *perfect* to me.

 

Girls are old enough to be mostly independent in their studies - actually, right now is the PERFECT time for a baby without compromising their education (when they needed me the most I could dedicate them my full attention). Also, they're approaching the dangerous age :D, and I think that having a baby sister will help them to stay "normal" and not indulge in any destructive behavior (I mean, who could look into those big, curious and loving eyes of a small child and then go out and compete with friends who can drink more? :D I hope the baby ensures they remain gentle and loving and that we remain a close knit family).

It's also good for the baby - by the time she reaches school age, she will have my full attention too, and I will have enough time one on one with her even before, since the older siblings are independent.

 

So I've come to conclude that the baby has come just in the right moment for us. :)

[KatieJ]

Our oldest is 13years older than our youngest, with 2 in the middle there. Gaps are 5 years and 6.5 years and then 19months.

 

Translates to Potty training the youngest while taking the oldest to driver's training.

Translates to buying Kindergarten material for the youngest while planning the oldest's graduation open house.

 

Translates to the youngest being a ringerbearer in his sister's wedding in 1998.

 

Translates to the oldest's daughters kiddoes being ringerbearer and flower girl in the youngest's wedding in March of this year.

 

I don't live in the world of what shoudl I have done. This is how the Lord gave them to us, and we went with it!

Now they are all grown and married and raising their own kids and it all seems like a blur.

My only advice is enjoy it now, I mean really take the time to enjoy it and not just get thru it.

You're gonna miss this.

[Ravin]

My mom has a 32 year gap between oldest and youngest. Youngest 2 (3 and 2) are adopted. She never quite got the hang of that empty nest idea, so I've got a string of foster sibs, with the two soon-to-be adopted on the tail end there. It's pretty awesome, really. I'm pretty sure mom is a lot more laid back and overall competent now than when she had my biosibs and I (twins who followed me when I was 2 1/2). She has a teenager in the house in addition to the babies. I KNOW she's a better parent of teens than the first time 'round; part having gillions of hours of parenting classes as a foster parent, part more life and parenting experience, and part having a more supportive co-parent and spouse (my stepdad vs. my dad).

 

My stepsons are 13 and 11, and they get on well with DD when they're here visiting, for the most part. Our next will be at least 7 years younger.

[Wheres Toto]

I guess I count as starting over. I have an 11 year gap between #1 and #2, then 23 months between #2 and #3.

 

There were times when having a teenagers, a toddler and an infant all at the same time was rough but I wouldn't trade my guys for anything.

 

I constantly have people say "must be nice having a built-in babysitter". I don't require my oldest to babysit and we pay her when she does.

[ereks mom]

My mom has a 32 year gap between oldest and youngest. Youngest 2 (3 and 2) are adopted. She never quite got the hang of that empty nest idea, so I've got a string of foster sibs, with the two soon-to-be adopted on the tail end there. It's pretty awesome, really. I'm pretty sure mom is a lot more laid back and overall competent now than when she had my biosibs and I (twins who followed me when I was 2 1/2). She has a teenager in the house in addition to the babies. I KNOW she's a better parent of teens than the first time 'round; part having gillions of hours of parenting classes as a foster parent, part more life and parenting experience, and part having a more supportive co-parent and spouse (my stepdad vs. my dad).

 

My stepsons are 13 and 11, and they get on well with DD when they're here visiting, for the most part. Our next will be at least 7 years younger.

 

I was born in 1960, my sister was born in 1962, and my brother was born in 1981. We all have the same mother and father--no halfs, no steps, no adoptions. My sister & I were both married when my brother was born. My parents were SHOCKED when they found out they were going to have another baby.

Edited June 7, 2010 by ereks mom

[dragons in the flower bed]

The further apart the children are, the better they get along. I wished I had spaced mine further.

[Dandelion]

Mine are 4.5 years apart... DS was such a handful, we just didn't have the energy for a second child until he calmed down a bit (he's still not calm by any stretch of the imagination, but it's much more manageable now). He and DD get along great and have a wonderful relationship. So...it worked for us!

[ktgrok]

4 years apart is nothing. My two children are 10 years apart! And I love it. I had years to rest up between them :)

[Lucy in Australia]

My kids are 14, 11 and 7 months old. I have to admit when I found out I was pregnant (surprise!) with the last one I was less than thrilled. Actually, I cried for about 2 weeks. Now, I can honestly say that I love, love, love it. It is SO NICE to have 2 older brothers who dote on her and not only are old enough to babysit but see it as a privilege, not a chore. God knew what He was doing when he gave her to us :)

[Susu]

My children are ages 22, 19, 12 and 10. I always say we had two "sets"!

 

It's all about perspective. The way I see it, is that I didn't have a group of FOUR toddlers to contend with all at once. I preferred having older kids with my second set. And they did make nice built in babysitters as they got older! They do present a new set of challenges though. At one point, I had to deal with teenagers AND toddlers/preschoolers. But it worked for us.

 

Susu

[HappyCrazyMama]

Since I have a 9 year gap I guess I started over. My dc are 18, 16, 7, 5, 3, 0. I find the comment pretty sad myself. I remember how devastated I was when we decided to have more but didn't think it was going to happen.:crying: I think I would have been speechless.:glare:

[Angel in FL]

20, 17, 16 and 4

[laughing lioness]

16 yr gap between first and last with 3-5 years between each. Lots of pros and cons.

[Alphabetika]

My dd's are 16, 11, and 10 months. I was very pleased with the 4.5 year difference between my first two, and I'm equally pleased with the (in the world's eyes) outrageous spread between my first two and my 3rd. People seem to feel free to ask us whether Baby was "a surprise" or "an oops" or "a mistake" or some other euphemism. She was none of these things. We love having a little baby again.

 

I have friends who were completely cut out for having their kids very close together, and they did, and they handled it beautifully. Not I. We are blessed.