A request of forum users (particularly those who've been here a while)

[Susan Wise Bauer]

Could you all, collectively, develop a--how should I put this--slightly thicker skin?

 

You would not BELIEVE how many posts have been reported over the last forty-eight hours. Seriously, looking back over the moderator records, I think almost everyone on this board has reported someone else at least once.

 

Some of the reported posts were in definite violation of board rules and needed to be taken down. But quite a few were just statements of disagreement with another poster's opinion. Or arguments that someone else disliked. Or opinions that someone else found offensive.

 

So let me clarify. Report posts which are in violation of our rules on political discourse. Report posts which are direct personal attacks on other posters. Report snarky use of tags.

 

But don't report everything that you, personally, find annoying. In other words, quite a few of you (not Bill, obviously) need to woman up. When someone disagrees with you, that's not an attack. It's just a disagreement.

 

SWB

[TravelingChris]

I would like to add that we have a wonderful feature on this board called ignore. If you get annoyed by someone, put them on your ignore list. You can always look at a post they made by signaling that you want to ignore your ignore clause for a particular post. :001_smile:

[Susan Wise Bauer]

Good point. And in addition: if you decide to READ a thread about, say, HEALTH CARE, you ought to go in realizing that there will be strong opinions in it. If that bothers you, read one about crockpots or something instead.

 

SWB

[Frontier Mom]

Agreed. I happen to be one that has never reported anyone. I'm use to differing opinions and nasty comments from being a pastor's wife. Enough said.

[creekland]

Could you all, collectively, develop a--how should I put this--slightly thicker skin?

 

SWB

 

I work in our local public high school. I don't think it's possible to develop a thicker skin! ;)

 

That said, I agree with you 100% and will have to admit I didn't even know it was possible to report posts... obviously, I need to develop better observation of details on websites!

 

Thank you VERY much for providing this forum for discussion. I've gleaned a lot of info about many things over the years - and much of that from hearing the various viewpoints from those who hold them. To hear only one side would be so... wrong... IMO.

[Denisemomof4]

Good point. And in addition: if you decide to READ a thread about, say, HEALTH CARE, you ought to go in realizing that there will be strong opinions in it. If that bothers you, read one about crockpots or something instead.

 

SWB

 

:smilielol5: or read one about wearing shoes, grocery carts.....

 

there are plenty, on many subjects. :D

[Pamela H in Texas]

Honestly, I'd never dream of reporting anyone. Mostly, I figure someone else would do it; no need for me to also. And I have no idea how anyway.

 

I don't have very thick skin really though. I'm very easily hurt. And that despite working in the local public high school (which I love!). I'm working on it.

 

But I would like to ignore one person. I know it was discussed before, but...

[creekland]

I'm use to differing opinions and nasty comments from being a pastor's wife.

 

Ok, the thickness of your skin might have mine beat. They'd be close anyway.

[Journey]

I too am one who has never reported anyone but I betcha 10 cents I've been reported more than once. I am one who sometimes has to say what's on my mind and sometimes I'm sorry for that but other times I'm not. I do think that using words on paper instead of face to face can totally misconstrue some posts but there are definately people on here who have offended or hurt me and I just need to respond sometimes! I agree with the mod....we all need to get thicker skins if we're going to post on ANY message board.

[fivetails]

I don't think I've ever reported something that wasn't spam ~ can't guarantee it, but I doubt it.. mainly because I don't see the point. If I don't like something that someone has said, I just keep scrolling [or close the thread]*.... I mean, really, why get all wound up over something that some random person said on the internet? ;)

 

[besides - this place is WAY tame compared to some when it comes to arguments and such.]

 

 

*that's not to say that I'd never take part in a conversation

Edited March 24, 2010 by fivetails

[Renee in NC]

I reported two partisan politics posts, but I did it to keep the thread from getting shut down. If they can get deleted fast enough, not many see them and it doesn't start a war.:001_huh::tongue_smilie:

[KnitWit]

Thank you for this forum.

 

I appreciate discussion that allows me to *understand* where everyone is coming from, whether I agree with them and join them, or not. It requires us to leave our emotions at the door and have intelligent, informed discussion that sticks to *facts* rather than *experiences*. When people resort to hurling personal insult and snark, I just assume they have shared the extent to which they are *informed* and are afraid to just admit "that's all I know" or "I haven't thought beyond that"...or...that they have a personal experience which prevents them from being objective in that instance, which happens with *all* of us, at one time or another.

 

I really hate to see a good informative thread start going down the tube.

[cdrumm4448]

I have never reported anyone, and probably won't. I didn't even report the poster who accused me of "hubris". That was a personal attack on my character, but I let it go. I sometimes have very strong opinions and it is difficult to get across tone on the internet.

[StartingOver]

Could you all, collectively, develop a--how should I put this--slightly thicker skin?

 

You would not BELIEVE how many posts have been reported over the last forty-eight hours. Seriously, looking back over the moderator records, I think almost everyone on this board has reported someone else at least once.

 

Some of the reported posts were in definite violation of board rules and needed to be taken down. But quite a few were just statements of disagreement with another poster's opinion. Or arguments that someone else disliked. Or opinions that someone else found offensive.

 

So let me clarify. Report posts which are in violation of our rules on political discourse. Report posts which are direct personal attacks on other posters. Report snarky use of tags.

 

But don't report everything that you, personally, find annoying. In other words, quite a few of you (not Bill, obviously) need to woman up. When someone disagrees with you, that's not an attack. It's just a disagreement.

 

SWB

 

Thank you. It needed to be said.

[Haiku]

SWB is THE WOMAN!! :hurray:

 

Tara

[jld]

I didn't know you could report people, either. And I don't know why people would want to do that, unless someone was threatening another person's life or something like that.

 

We can learn and grow from disagreements, if we're open to truly looking at why people disagree with us. We don't learn and grow from having everyone agree with everything we already think.

[Perry]

I didn't know you could report people, either. And I don't know why people would want to do that, unless someone was threatening another person's life or something like that.

 

To try to get the offensive posts deleted before it gets so out of hand that the whole thread gets deleted.

 

I didn't report anything this time, but I have before.

[stripe]

I reported a post this week, but it was spam! :)

[BikeBookBread]

Newbies, when SWB takes the time to come onto the board and post, PLEASE pay attention ... it doesn't happen often. Respect her wishes. She is doing us a big favor hosting this board, and it is only right that we follow the rules that she has put into place. Besides, there is just a lot of wisdom in what she is saying.

 

FWIW, I didn't report anything this time...in fact, I was staying far, far away from the healthcare threads....hmmmmm.....politics rule anyone???

Edited March 24, 2010 by BikeBookBread

[bbmom]

 

But don't report everything that you, personally, find annoying. In other words, quite a few of you (not Bill, obviously) need to woman up. When someone disagrees with you, that's not an attack. It's just a disagreement.

 

SWB

:iagree:

 

I think this hits it right on the head. So many people (on every board I post on, not just this one) take anyone disagreeing with them as a personal attack-especially when it comes to religious or political threads. Knowing the composition of the boards post on, I just choose not to open the threads that I know will aggravate me.

[momzilla333]

The phrase "disagree without being disagreeable" comes to mind.

I think we often learn much more in a discussion with someone who has a different viewpoint than we do from someone who simply agrees with us. In a worthwhile exchange, all of us listen carefully, don't fall into a kneejerk emotional response and are expected to present our viewpoints in a respectful logical way.

And hopefully everybody learns something. Isn't that the whole point? If you're only seeking to convince others that you're right, you're talking AT them, not with them.

[Renee in NC]

To try to get the offensive posts deleted before it gets so out of hand that the whole thread gets deleted.

 

I didn't report anything this time, but I have before.

 

Exactly. The ones I reported both had *just* been posted and they were removed before anyone commented on them. I thought about the poor moderators when I reported them - I knew that everyone and their mother was reporting posts!:lol:

 

ETA: SWB had a *really* funny blog post during the last election about the political threads on the board. I tried to find it, but wasn't able to, so if someone saved the link, could you post it?

Edited March 24, 2010 by Renee in FL

[sassenach]

I'm use to differing opinions and nasty comments from being a pastor's wife. Enough said.

 

I'm right there with you, sister. There is nothing like ministry to make one "woman up!"

[The Governess]

:smilielol5: or read one about wearing shoes, grocery carts.....

 

there are plenty, on many subjects. :D

 

I remember that grocery cart thread - and I have to say that the topic is NOT a good alternative for the thin-skinned folks. :lol::lol:

[Ellie]

I think more people need to put on their big girl panties. Just sayin'. :D

[mommyrooch]

Well, I have never reported anyone either. I didn't even know you could do that until Susan posted this. I knew of a few members that had been banned and at first thought that was permanent until I would come across them again. :glare:

 

I happen to have pretty thick skin. If you all knew my dad you would understand why. :D It really takes a lot for me to take something truly personal. I get irritated sometimes but that's okay because I can hold my own. I have no reservations about voicing my opinions. That usually causes people to really like me or really hate me. I'm sure there are already people on both sides of that camp here. :lol:

 

I am pretty good about knowing my own limits so if I do get too out of sorts I will leave for a little bit so that I don't say something that will cause the mods to bring the hammer down on me. :smash: Since none of my posts have been deleted (that I know of ;)) and I have never been banned (I'm sure about that one. :tongue_smilie:) I guess I have been holding myself in check okay so far. :D

 

Thanks Susan and the other Mods for having patience with us while we hashed out our differences over the last couple of days. I'm sure it was pretty exausting for you but it was nice to have someplace to go to share my thoughts on those hot topics with. :001_smile:

[Wheres Toto]

I've never reported anyone on any board I'm on because I just don't care that much about most of the hot button issues. I come here for ideas, advice and in the hopes I may be able to help others. I occasionally read the political/religious/debate posts because I find the very different points of view fascinating. I'm not emotionally attached to any particular viewpoint so I guess it's easier to stay out of it. I always thought I was exposed to a wide variety of idealogies and cultures living where I do but I have learned a lot about what other people believe (and why) by reading homeschooling boards.

[Nicole M]

I just mentioned to my husband this morning that I can't think of anything in the recent past... 911, Iraq, the presidential elections, Guantanamo, Israel / Palestine, crockpots... that has brought to the surface more ill will, racism and divisiveness than health care reform. (Well. Maybe crockpots. ;)) It does not surprsie me that the mods have had a heck of a time in the last few days. I'm sorry y'all are having to work overtime. :confused:

[Guest Cindie2dds]

Could you all, collectively, develop a--how should I put this--slightly thicker skin?

 

In other words, quite a few of you (not Bill, obviously) need to woman up. When someone disagrees with you, that's not an attack. It's just a disagreement.

 

SWB

 

Well put. Thank you.

 

..... if you decide to READ a thread about, say, HEALTH CARE, you ought to go in realizing that there will be strong opinions in it. If that bothers you, read one about crockpots or something instead.

 

SWB

 

:lol: How about family TP, or diva cups, or......

[Crissy]

It does not surprsie me that the mods have had a heck of a time in the last few days. I'm sorry y'all are having to work overtime. :confused:

 

I am sorry about the extra work, too, but I will admit to being a little surprised.

Maybe surprised not the right word, since it happens regularly and can be expected, but I do wonder why we can't discuss a difficult topic without name calling and reporting posts that we don't like.

[Spy Car]

In other words, quite a few of you (not Bill, obviously) need to woman up.

 

SWB

 

:party:

 

Bill (already woman enough :lol:)

[6packofun]

I'd have to say that the pronouncements of innocence are largely unnecessary and probably ignored by the PTB anyhow, so we really don't need to have a huge sub-thread of those who want everyone to know they haven't reported anyone. LOL :D

[Crissy]

I'd have to say that the pronouncements of innocence are largely unnecessary and probably ignored by the PTB anyhow, so we really don't need to have a huge sub-thread of those who want everyone to know they haven't reported anyone. LOL :D

 

Yes. I am certain they know who does what around here. :)

[unsinkable]

:smilielol5: or read one about wearing shoes, grocery carts.....

 

there are plenty, on many subjects. :D

 

Really? Re-ally? REALLY? :lol:

[Mejane]

Newbies, when SWB takes the time to come onto the board and post, PLEASE pay attention ... it doesn't happen often. Respect her wishes. She is doing us a big favor hosting this board, and it is only right that we follow the rules that she has put into place. Besides, there is just a lot of wisdom in what she is saying.

 

 

 

Just wondering why you would direct your comment to "Newbies" when Susan specifically directed hers to "those who have been here a while"? Sounds to me like the offenders may be more the... "oldies."

[Crissy]

Really? Re-ally? REALLY? :lol:

 

 

Rilly.

 

Oh, wait. That's prolly another one. :tongue_smilie:

[Lisa in Jax]

I am sorry about the extra work, too, but I will admit to being a little surprised.

Maybe surprised not the right word, since it happens regularly and can be expected, but I do wonder why we can't discuss a difficult topic without name calling and reporting posts that we don't like.

 

Well put. I wonder the same.

[Lisa in Jax]

:party:

 

Bill (already woman enough :lol:)

 

LOL.

[BikeBookBread]

Just wondering why you would direct your comment to "Newbies" when Susan specifically directed hers to "those who have been here a while"? Sounds to me like the offenders may be more the... "oldies."

 

I addressed my comment to Newbies very purposefully -- Newbies might be witnessing all of those deletes and wondering, "What's up?".

[Mejane]

I think it was just because if you have been here a long time you understand how rare it is for Susan to post. I'm sure BBB meant no offense.

 

Oh, I'm not offended, just wondering. :)

[BikeBookBread]

Oh, I'm not offended, just wondering. :)

 

I think it was just because if you have been here a long time you understand how rare it is for Susan to post. I'm sure BBB meant no offense.

 

No offense meant, at all. Cadam, you are right -- this is exactly why I posted my comment...

[newlifemom]

No offense meant, at all. Cadam, you are right -- this is exactly why I posted my comment...

 

Totally OT, but BBB did Bach really say that in your sig line? and may I borrow that? :D

from the woman who woke up this morning feeling like she hasn't slept in 3 weeks

[Renthead Mommy]

I guess I just don't get it. Somebody says something you don't like, or you think they called you a name or maybe they really did call you a name. So you go running to mommy? (okay that may be harsh, but that's what it feels like)

 

Why do people care so much about what other people think about them, espeically people you don't know? Face it, this is a board of strangers? Granted a few know each other in real life, but the majority of people are starngers.

 

So somebody thinks your side of an issue is full of it. So what? How does their opinon really matter to you? Let's face it, most people (on here and in general) aren't going to change their minds about their religion, the politcal party, halloween, shoes in the house or even their crockpot. Why can't we just say to ourselves. "Wow, she's a crackpot about that crockpot" or whatever and move on. So someone makes a comment. Maybe you think they are saying your a bad mother or you kids are the spawn of satan. Maybe they actually ARE saying that. BUT WHO CARES? Are you ever going to see them? Be forced to interact with them? No. Just ignore them and move on.

 

Let's also remember that everything anyone on here knows about you (and however they use that knowledge) they know because YOU put it out there.

[unsinkable]

Rilly.

 

Oh, wait. That's prolly another one. :tongue_smilie:

 

I know, right?

 

:lol:

 

Oh, I am killing myself over here! :lol:

[delaney]

Thank you for that. I have stayed away the past few days b/c I am not for beating dead horses and have enough drama in my life that I don't need it on the internet! I thrive on the wealth of info these ladies have to offer and the support that comes flowing through my computer!

[BikeBookBread]

Totally OT, but BBB did Bach really say that in your sig line? and may I borrow that? :D

from the woman who woke up this morning feeling like she hasn't slept in 3 weeks

 

I'm not sure if he did, but I found it on a quotes website, and just HAD to use it!!! Here is my source, but who knows if it is accurate. I just found another variation of it on another site: Without my morning coffee I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat.

 

Hope you wake up soon! I'll toast to your health with my second mug of Starbuck's Verona... :)

[RegularMom]

I reported a post once.

 

I come in here and listen quite often. I don't talk very much, though. You can imagine that if I actually took the time to report a post, it was a pretty bad one.

 

It was.

 

Anyway, thanks to the moderators for wading through it all. Personally, I have zero-patience for that kind of work. I suspect there's a special place in heaven for you guys. ;)

[KathyBC]

I just mentioned to my husband this morning that I can't think of anything in the recent past... 911, Iraq, the presidential elections, Guantanamo, Israel / Palestine, crockpots... that has brought to the surface more ill will, racism and divisiveness than health care reform. (Well. Maybe crockpots. ;)) It does not surprsie me that the mods have had a heck of a time in the last few days. I'm sorry y'all are having to work overtime. :confused:

 

 

Oh I don't know about that. It was a thread about the Civil War that led to the most recent banning. Once I read the thread, I learned a lot and it does seem relevant to current times. But when I first saw the amount of pages and deleted posts over something that happened, what, 150? years ago, I felt my jaw drop a little. :lol:

[Orthodox6]

Was that thread deleted ? People banned ? I'm surprised. I thought it a very interesting, albeit largely predictable in content, thread.

 

Oh I don't know about that. It was a thread about the Civil War that led to the most recent banning. Once I read the thread, I learned a lot and it does seem relevant to current times. But when I first saw the amount of pages and deleted posts over something that happened, what, 150? years ago, I felt my jaw drop a little. :lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

Good point. And in addition: if you decide to READ a thread about, say, HEALTH CARE, you ought to go in realizing that there will be strong opinions in it. If that bothers you, read one about crockpots or something instead.

 

SWB

 

Too funny! :smilielol5: