S/O Naming babies: Am I the only one who allowed people to mispronounce her name?

[BamaTanya]

About nicknames and unusual spellings and pronunciations, many say: "Just tell people your child's name is _____" -- "Just correct them."

 

My name is Tanya. TAN-yuh (can't figure out how to show the schwa.) Not TAWN-yuh, like most people would assume. Don't ask me why. That's the way my parents heard it and that's the way they pronounced it. And they always corrected everyone who got it wrong WHEN THEY WERE WITH ME.

 

But, I found it a royal pain to have to correct people. I was a timid kid who didn't like to assert myself with teachers (call it a personality flaw, but there it is) and I would always do it once. But, if they continued to mispronounce the name, I just let it go. And I hated it. I hated that I didn't want to assert myself again and I hated that they didn't remember or correct themselves and I hated that my parents didn't name me Susan or Jennifer or something that people KNEW how to pronounce.

 

I grew a little gumption, and by high school, I had everyone pretty well trained. But it was STILL a pain on Honors Day in front of my senior class to be awarded scholarships by college reps who didn't know my name!

 

I once was introducing myself at a party in college and a guy got it wrong. I corrected him. He listened and made the choice, "Well, I'm going to call you TAWN-ya," and I said, "I won't answer. That's not my name." (Obviously, not the guy for me, lol, but it ticked me off.)

 

Fast forward to this year. I was hired to teach by the old principal who was retiring. The new principal inherited me and all the other 100 or so staff, and she got my name wrong over and over. I didn't expect her to know everyone's name immediately, but after being told how to pronounce it, I did expect her to get it.

 

I finally gave up.

 

Did anyone else have this experience with an unusual name or pronunciation?

[Caitilin]

Yes! My name is Caitilin, three syllables, Kate-A-Lin, and that's how everyone who knows me well says it. But I do answer to Kate-Lin, because it IS just too much work to correct people all the time. Call me lazy, but life is too short to mess with inessentials. :)

[Daisy]

Sure. My real name is

 

Daphyne

 

pronounced Daff-i-knee.

 

People rarely pronounce it that way unless they are my close friends. I don't worry about it.

 

Works great over the phone though. Telemarketers always say...

 

"Is Daff-eeen Shi-mule available?" Nope. No one lives here by that name. :lol:

[adams101]

My name is Marie. I grew up in Houston. There are alot of Hispanics in the Houston area. I always, and still do sometimes, get called "Maria".:glare: Sometimes I correct them, sometimes they realize when they see me that I am NOT Mexican and correct themselves, and sometimes I let it slide. If it is someone I likely won't have any more contact with, I let it slide. If it is someone I will deal with again, I correct them, but they usually catch it themselves.

[SilverMoon]

I let it go fairly frequently too, especially if I probably won't be around that person much if at all. I have corrected it at things like the scout leader meeting I was at last week. Since I'll be working with these people for a year or better they ought to know I'm Kara, not Karen, or Carol, or Tara. (Yes, all three have been tried since signing my little guy up as a Tiger)

[swellmomma]

yes and no. With Ceilidh we correct every time, but the names they call her without the correction are so not even close it is really necessary (she had been called ceiling, Seelid, See-lid-a but her name is pronounced Kaylee).

 

With Isabelle, many people call her Isabella and I don't correct them for that one. I may make a point of calling her by name around them so they hear the right name but do not actively correct them each time.

[Rosie_0801]

My dad always pronounces my son the Polish way, instead of using our Aussie accent. Other people have corrected him, but I think the two of them can hash it out when Marek is old enough to have an opinion :) I do get annoyed when dh pronounces it like Marick, but he can't seem to help it.

 

Rosie

[HRAAB]

No. They are gently corrected. Primarily because it is very important to my dh that names are pronounced correctly; I'd be more likely to let it go after awhile. My dd's name is Abra - long A - as in Abraham. We get it with a short A, like in abracadabra all the time plus some other interesting pronunciations. Many times when I've introduced her, people will think it's April. She's 12 now, and will politely correct the person herself.

 

Janet

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

My good friend has a daughter named Daphne and she pronounces it with 2 syllables, but my boys always stretch it out to 3. It sounds so sweet when they say it. :)

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

My son's name is Leif and we pronounce it with a long A sound rather than a long E. Those close to us hear us say his name and pronounce it accordingly. I don't usually bother to correct people who will only use his name in passing.

[Nicole M]

I know it will be hard for you whippersnappers to believe, but in the late 60s, when I was born, there were pretty much no Nicoles out there. I was often called Nickel, or anything French, Noelle, Natalie, Michelle.... Since my name was not so much mispronounced as misspoken, yes, I did correct. My last name was constantly pronounced incorrectly, and I would correct that as well.

 

Your story about that guy at the party who insisted he'd call you what he liked reminds me of a story my husband tells. He was at a party and introduced to a woman whose name was Roz. He introduced himself by saying his name and holding out his hand to shake hers. "Ross." She said, "No. Roz." He said, "Yes, I see. Ross." She was clearly irked and says, "ROZ!" and huffed off.

 

In your case, yes, I would give up.

[Laurel]

I answer to everything. Laura, Lauren, Lola (majored in Japanese studies, and my name has to be the hardest name for a native Japanese speaker to pronounce), etc. Even my mother will put the accent on the second syllable instead of the first sometimes. What really amuses me is people who will sometimes get my name right, and then a little later, get it wrong.

[Jen500]

I have a difficult last name and I gave up correcting people a long time ago, unless they really want to pronounce it correctly. We gave our kids easy first names so they wouldn't have to deal with people not knowing how to say their names. (Well, there are still some people who mess up....:tongue_smilie:)

[Kathleen in VA]

Well, as you can see, my name is Kathleen. I've actually had people tell me it's too hard to pronounce and they refuse to do it so they just shorten it to Kathy (one friend in college called me Leenie and a boss I had called me Kayleen). I HATE the name Kathy - not other people whose names are Kathy - just when I'm called that. I have very good personal reasons why I dislike the name so much so it really grates when anyone calls me that. Of course, I know they aren't doing it to grate - they just don't get it. So, yes, I kindly correct.

 

I had a professor call out my name on the first day of class for roll call, "Kathy ________." I did not respond - just didn't hit me that I was being called. He finally said "Kathleen" and I said, "here." He asked me why, for heaven's sake, didn't I answer when he said Kathy and I said, "That's not my name!" He was very annoyed. Oh, well.:)

 

Nowadays I see a whole lot of women named Kathleen - I really don't understand what's so hard to pronounce about it. My x-bil once reamed me up one side and down the other because he thought I was being "uppity" to prefer Kathleen over Kathy. Good grief.:confused:

 

I think names are very personal things and you should try your best to call a person whatever he/she prefers. It's not really up for discussion.

[Night Elf]

People have often mispronounced my son's name. His name is Jeffrey, that's Jeff-ree. He doesn't like it when people call him Jeff-a-ree. When he was very young, he corrected people. It truly bothered him and still does. He especially hates when people try to shorten his name to Jeff. It is not his name.

 

It reminds me of a conversation in the tv show, Star Trek. Dr. Pulaski addresses the android Data by the pronunciation Dah-tah. He corrects her by saying his name is Day-tah. She laughs and asks, "What's the difference?" He said, "One is my name, the other is not." :D

 

In short, I think it's disrespectful to mispronounce someone's name if you know you are not pronouncing it correctly. Therefore, I feel it's important to let someone know when they are mispronouncing a name.

 

Then again, accent can affect pronunciation. My mom pronounces my name with 2 syllables, Bay-eth. :tongue_smilie:

[Ester Maria]

People don't really mispronounce our names, but they americanize them, i.e. replace them with English equivalents of our names, which gets on my nerves. We insist on proper Italian forms at home.

 

Some members of our family though use our Hebrew names in addressing us, and I don't mind that.

[Truscifi]

My name is Audra. Not Audrey. Definitely not Andrea, Andra, Amber, Aubrey, etc. I correct people if I am going to be around them a lot, but otherwise I let it go, because it isn't worth the effort. I am also less likely to correct people when they say Audrey than when they really mangle it - Audrey is fairly close at least. ;)

[Night Elf]

My younger child's name is Alton. He gets "all ton", "al ton", "altun", and "elton". Poor kid. :glare:

 

I've never seen that name before. I would pronounce it all-ton. How do you pronounce it?

[nukeswife]

It reminds me of a conversation in the tv show, Star Trek. Dr. Pulaski addresses the android Data by the pronunciation Dah-tah. He corrects her by saying his name is Day-tah. She laughs and asks, "What's the difference?" He said, "One is my name, the other is not." :D

 

LOVE THAT! I haven't seen that episode in a long time.

 

Our dd was named after the character 7 of 9 in ST Voyager. Her name before being assimilated was Annika. My dh and I loved it the moment we heard it and knew that was the name for our 2nd child (soon to be born) Many people just have no clue and think we named her after Anakin Skywalker but wanted it to sound girly. Others think we named her after the female golfer (dh and I don't golf and have no intention of ever doing that)

 

Her name is pronounced "On i kuh" Like open up and say "AHHH" with a short i in the middle. Most often people say it "uh KNEE kuh" with an emphasis on the middle and with a long e sound instead. She hates that . She also hated when my MIL thought it would be cute to call her Aunie "Aw knee" like "Aw isn't that cute" we all hated that and for the longest time after that dd insisted on being called by her first and middle name Annika Clare, which is just fine by me, my MIL didn't like it that we let a 4 year old choose what she'd prefer to be called.

[nukeswife]

My younger child's name is Alton. He gets "all ton", "al ton", "altun", and "elton". Poor kid. :glare:

 

How do you pronounce it? I would say "al tin" like Alton Brown from the show Good Eats

[Deana FL]

Like the OP.. I was a very timid child and frequently had my name mispronounced and unless my mother heard it, I just dealt with it.

 

In college I met a friend with the same name and spelling and she was VERY outspoken when the professor continually mispronounced our names. HA!

 

And then there was the time when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and had anesthesia. Just as I was about in la-la land, I heard the dentist say my name wrong...for some reason, all of a sudden, I had the boldness to correct him.

 

I intentionally spelt my children's names as simply as possible so that they wouldn't have to deal w/the same issue.

[Dawn in OH]

Well, as you can see, my name is Kathleen. I've actually had people tell me it's too hard to pronounce and they refuse to do it so they just shorten it to Kathy

 

How on Earth is THAT too difficult to pronounce? People amaze me.

[Tammy]

to hear sports announcers mispronounce names.....after all....if they aren't sure.....just ask....

 

.

[Truscifi]

I intentionally spelt my children's names as simply as possible so that they wouldn't have to deal w/the same issue.

 

It's funny, I named my son Jonathon - simple, easy, everyone knows how to say it right? Sure, but EVERYONE misspells it :glare:. They add an h, or change the last o to a, or both! People also shorten it to Jon or (even worse) JonJon.

[MeAndTheBoys]

Tanya--are you saying your name is pronounced TUN-ya instead of TON-ya? I got hung up on that :) And I've never heard TAWN-ya. Which one are you? So many possibilities :)

I answer to a lot of B---Y names because people can't remember mine--I get a lot of Becky and Bethany, and some Bess. An elderly principal when I taught middle school was convinced it was "Bessie".

 

I try and correct people if it's convenient, but if they're just saying a quick, "Becky, something blah blah blah", I let it go--

 

The one I DON'T allow is putting a "uh" sound in for the "e" :) My 5 year old is having a LOT of pronounciation issues with short "e" and was saying, "Your first name is BUT-see" and we fixed that one quickly :) It really was a pronounciation issue--but I realized there are some names I won't put up with, lol.

 

Betsy

 

My name is Tanya. TAN-yuh (can't figure out how to show the schwa.) Not TAWN-yuh, like most people would assume. Don't ask me why. That's the way my parents heard it and that's the way they pronounced it. And they always corrected everyone who got it wrong WHEN THEY WERE WITH ME.

 

Did anyone else have this experience with an unusual name or pronunciation?

[Kathleen in VA]

How on Earth is THAT too difficult to pronounce? People amaze me.

 

Maybe because the "th" and "l" are close together. I dunno. Seems like a very, very old and fairly common name. I really don't get it either.

[Deana FL]

It's funny, I named my son Jonathon - simple, easy, everyone knows how to say it right? Sure, but EVERYONE misspells it :glare:. They add an h, or change the last o to a, or both! People also shorten it to Jon or (even worse) JonJon.

 

 

Now "misspelling" is a whole other thing...I agree! I often accuse my mom of misspelling my name at birth. LOL... it's because she expected a boy and had planned on naming him "Dean", so to make it feminine, she figured just add an "a". So, it's pronounced "DEEEnuh" not "DeAnna".

 

You're right though, what I think is the most logical spelling, certainly doesn't mean it's the same logic as everyone else.

[KidsHappen]

One of my dd's name is Rhianna pronounced Re-Anna. People only get it right about half of the time. She hardly ever corrects them. On the other hand, I have known a few girls named Brianna and I have never heard anyone get that wrong. Our last name is a three syllable name that sounds exactly like it is spelled. No one ever gets it right and I don't even bother to correct people anymore. I just answer to anything close.

[athena1277]

People have often mispronounced my son's name. His name is Jeffrey, that's Jeff-ree. He doesn't like it when people call him Jeff-a-ree. When he was very young, he corrected people. It truly bothered him and still does. He especially hates when people try to shorten his name to Jeff. It is not his name.

 

 

:iagree:That is my son's name too! He's a Jr. and dh goes by Jeff, so it's really confusing if they call ds Jeff.

[IsabelC]

Beth, how do you pronounce your son's name, just out of interest? (I can't work out any other way than Jeff-ree, that's the only way I have ever heard it pronounced)

 

On the subject of those lovely Gaelic/Celtic names, I am mortified to admit that it wasn't until age 35 that I discovered that Ngaire is pronounced Ny-ree :blushing:

[BamaTanya]

Tanya--are you saying your name is pronounced TUN-ya instead of TON-ya? I got hung up on that :) And I've never heard TAWN-ya. Which one are you? So many possibilities :)

 

Betsy

 

Sorry that was confusing. No, I meant the schwa would be the second syllable vowel sound. The first syllable is 'tan' as in 'suntan.' It seems to me that the more common (Russian) pronunciation has the soft 'a' instead of a short 'a' sound. Mine sounds more -- well -- countrified?

[melissel]

These stories are cracking me up. My name is (surprise!) Melissa, and I get a lot of Michelle and Martha. The Michelles always amaze me. The two names sound nothing alike!

 

Anyway, like the others, sometimes I don't correct depending on the situation. Often, someone who actually KNOWS my name will call me Michelle, and I won't correct because I know it's just a slip of the tongue. However, I once worked with a guy who called me Michelle the first few times he met me. I ignored it, because I didn't want to embarrass him (he was a nice guy, and we were always with other people) and because I assumed he'd eventually figure it out on his own because we corresponded via e-mail frequently. Long story short, this guy was still calling me Michelle three years later. By the time I realized he was not going to figure it out on his own after all, I felt like too big an idiot for not correcting him sooner. I just answered to Michelle for three years! :lol:

[MeAndTheBoys]

Sorry that was confusing. No, I meant the schwa would be the second syllable vowel sound. The first syllable is 'tan' as in 'suntan.' It seems to me that the more common (Russian) pronunciation has the soft 'a' instead of a short 'a' sound. Mine sounds more -- well -- countrified?

 

Gotcha :) So you're a TAN-YUH, not a TAWN-YUH. I've heard both; I've actually heard more of yours in Alabama than when I grew up in the DC area. So I'm surprised people in AL mess that up :)

 

betsy

[Melinda in VT]

These stories are cracking me up. My name is (surprise!) Melissa, and I get a lot of Michelle and Martha. The Michelles always amaze me. The two names sound nothing alike!

 

 

I get called Melissa all. the. time. Also Melanie. Sometimes Michelle.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I wanted to name my daughter Kirsten (Kear-sten) Michelle. My mother claimed she couldn't say it, would never be able to say it. My daughter wishes I had stuck with it though as she loves the name. I was 17, what can I say?

 

A lot of people call my hubby Nole and our last name has been every one syllable H word under the sun. Weird. You can tell people weren't taught phonics! LOL

 

For some reason, I always get Paula. To me, that is just plain laziness.

 

I am always careful about people's names, pronunciations, spellings, etc. I think it's rude to just make it up as you go. I also won't shorten your name unless you ask me to. Oh, and I HATE being asked if I go by Pamela or Pam. It took me 34 years to finally say (I'm very shy and non-confrontational and hate decision making) and then people have an opinion now that I do! I will tell you my name when we meet (or sign it on email or posts); you just call me that, K?

Edited October 11, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[Reya]

It baffles me when people do this--"I'm going to name my child Gwendolyn, and if they don't pronounce it "Jennifer," like I want them to..."

 

I think the fault is the parents'. If you don't like the way a name is pronounced, chose another one. And for goodness sake, don't indulge in "fantasy" spellings. Weird pronunciations and spellings are like tying a "I was raised in a trailer park!" or, at best, "I was raised by hippies!" sign to their kids--whether or not it's true. Krystalle is a name looking for its pole. :-/

 

Nice thing is that you can legally change your name as an adult.

 

People not being able to pronounce not-astonishingly-rare names do puzzle me, though. The mistakes that people make with my real name is hysterical.

 

We have a daughter with an "ia" name, and apparently some people get really upset by "yuh" pronunciations, like Jul-yuh rather than jul-ee-uh. I honestly don't care, and I never would have named her that if it bothered me.

Edited October 11, 2009 by Reya

[Reya]

I guess you're getting the "fled" syllable from one of my mother's students. His name was Jermy. His parents called it "Jeremy", but since he was already a scumbag by middle school, she always called him "germy" privately.

[Jen500]

It baffles me when people do this--"I'm going to name my child Gwendolyn, and if they don't pronounce it "Jennifer," like I want them to..."

 

:lol:

[Desert Rat]

I used to have lots of mispronunciations with my name. Now, thanks to Days of Our Lives, my name is popular and very few people stumble over it. It is annoying when someone continually pronounces it incorrectly, like the don't care to learn the right way.

[Margo out of lurking]

I'm Kristine, but I always answer to Kristin or Kristina. The only time it gets awkward is if they ever realize they've been saying it wrong for a while.

 

On the other hand, if someone calls me Kris, I will correct them. I was Kris growing up, and I had issues, lol.

[Dawn in OH]

I think people that can't manage to get perfectly normal names (Kathleen, Melissa, Melinda) correct are either careless or lazy. How do you get Michelle out of Melissa? You don't!

 

You would think when meeting someone new, especially a co-worker or someone that you will see on a regular basis, people would take care to get your name right.

 

Now the Jul-ee-uh vs. Jul-yuh thing, while it is annoying, I'd like to think that it was a regional accent problem, but probably not.

 

My oldest child has a name that is probably hard for most people to pronounce, especially if you see it written before hearing it. Fionn. We pronounce it Fee-un. Most people will verify the pronunciation with us numerous times and make sure they get it right. We tell people that have trouble with it that Fin is acceptable. (We got his name from Fionn mac Cumhail, who was also known as Finn McCool).

 

When he was little he called himself Finny, his younger sister called him that before she could say Fionn, and now his 2 year old brother calls him that.

[Ellie]

My problem is that I am called by my middle name. All through school, I spent the first six weeks correcting all my teachers so they'd call me Ellie. :glare: I will answer to my first name in the few situations where Mr. Ellie listed me as Martha instead of Ellie, such as on our health insurance policy. :glare:I finally figured out that I don't have to have my whole legal name on checks and drivers license other non-legal documents (you can have an alias on your drivers license if it is not your intent to defraud anyone). It still gets tricky if I need to prove that my first name is Martha (which I have only had to do once in the last 30 years).

 

And that would be why I encourage people not to call their dc by their middle names.

 

A bigger annoyance is that our last name is usually spelled with an s on the end, but ours is not, like Hasting instead of Hastings (not my real name...sorry). I *will* correct people there, because it can be important (you won't find me in the phone directory if you look under Hastings instead of Hasting).

 

And that would be why I encourage people to use common spellings for common names such as Karen or Linda.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My husband's name is very unusual (he was named after a Filipino politician - and no, it wasn't Marcos!). I always introduce him as (false example) "Mello" - like Jello but with an M". Giving people some kind of mental link helps them to remember it correctly.

[Scarlett]

These stories are cracking me up. I have a boys first name, a beautiful girl's middle name. My FOO and extended family call me by a nick name of that middle name as my mom intended since the day I was born. Others call me by the full middle name. Most people call me by my first name. Some have gotten caught in the cross fire so to speak and sputter out two or three of my names and then ask what they should call me. I just smile and say, 'You call me by what comes to your mind when you think of me, because to you THAT is my name and you can call me that if you choose.'

 

I know two sisters--have known them since they were babies....one calls me by my first name, the other by my middle nick name. And the one that calls me by my first name is very very close to my mother who has ONLY always called me by my middle nick name. Shrug.

[mellifera]

I think people that can't manage to get perfectly normal names (Kathleen, Melissa, Melinda) correct are either careless or lazy. How do you get Michelle out of Melissa? You don't!

 

Oh, but they do - over and over and over. I answer to both. ;)

[Scarlett]

Sorry that was confusing. No, I meant the schwa would be the second syllable vowel sound. The first syllable is 'tan' as in 'suntan.' It seems to me that the more common (Russian) pronunciation has the soft 'a' instead of a short 'a' sound. Mine sounds more -- well -- countrified?

 

Yes, I do think it is a southern pronunciation of it. I hear it often as yours is.

 

I think Tawn ya should be spelled Tonya...LOL...but that is JMO.

[Tressa]

My name was/is always mispronounced. People want to call me Ter-ee-sa or Tree-sa. I even had a teacher in high school that refused to properly say my name even though I told her after class how to say my name. I think that was the beginning of not bothering to correct people anymore. If I am talking to people in passing, I don't correct them. I correct others that I know I will interact with more.

 

I love my name, but I decided when I was young that any kids would have common, easily pronounced names. Thankfully, my husband agreed. :001_smile:

[Imprimis]

My problem is that I am called by my middle name. All through school, I spent the first six weeks correcting all my teachers so they'd call me Ellie. :glare: I will answer to my first name in the few situations where Mr. Ellie listed me as Martha instead of Ellie, such as on our health insurance policy. :glare:I finally figured out that I don't have to have my whole legal name on checks and drivers license other non-legal documents (you can have an alias on your drivers license if it is not your intent to defraud anyone). It still gets tricky if I need to prove that my first name is Martha (which I have only had to do once in the last 30 years).

 

And that would be why I encourage people not to call their dc by their middle names.

 

 

Yep, I could've written this entire post (except, without the Ellie and Martha parts ;)).

[orangearrow]

My oldest daughter's name is Ariel. We pronounce it the "Disney-way" (with "air" and the accent on the first syllable). :D Half of my family - and part of dh's family still (she's 11 now...) call her Rrrr-ee-ell (like these letters said out loud: R-E-L) - with the accent on the last syllable.

 

:001_huh:

 

She doesn't really care, so we don't correct anyone any more. It's sort of pointless by this time now, anyway, I think? lol

Edited October 11, 2009 by orangearrow

[Kate in Arabia]

My oldest often has his name mispronounced by people who don't know it; it's an Arabic name, but sort of close to the English name Ryan. For example, his gym coach (Egyptian) calls him by his actual name, but his soccer coach (British) calls him Ryan. When he was younger he used to correct people but now he usually lets it go. I've noticed he even identifies it as his when he sees the name Ryan in a book or on tv. I think he's accepted alternatives, I do wonder when he becomes an adult whether he will feel more or less attached to his name.