Desert Rat Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yup. I knew the first minute I met him that I was meant to be his. We've been together 16 years, married 15 in November. I think we've grown even more compatible as the years roll by. And he still thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He still makes me laugh and has those kind, deep, blue eyes I fell into. I really think we were meant for each other. No one else will do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loupelou Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Definitely, we've been married 16 years, together for 18. He's my best friend. I can't say we were as teens, all those hormones and all! I fell in love with his eyes and smile, and I know I would do it again. We just fit so well together, I know it's partly history, but if I met him today I would say I would be in love on the first date just like I was years ago. I still get goose bumps when he touches me!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
living_2_learn Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 NO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 My 14th anniversary is in October. I think it's impossible to not grow and change over the course of a lifetime. I also think it's impossible to prevent growth and change in any long-term relationship. I love my DH tremendously, but part of that love is the fact that we've been through so much together. I still find him attractive. We still have chemistry. I just can't step outside myself and look at him from a completely objective point of view. I asked my DH his opinion and ironically enough, we agree! He says that the history of the relationship itself shapes who we are as people today. Had we never met, we would have followed different paths and could be entirely different so it's really impossible to say whether nor not we'd still have an interest in dating one another if we just met. I also know that I became a different person during the course of my first marriage. Our relationship was not great though I was so head over heels in love with him that I was able to overlook some of the huge differences. And as our marriage was drawing to a close 7 years after it began, I was quite an embittered person truly thinking I would never, never let anyone get that close to me again. My relationship with my DH has been absolutely unimaginable and completely different from my first marriage. Seriously, when I married him nearly 14 years ago, I was incorrect in nearly every assumption. Marrying him was the smartest decision and was based on mutual interests, safety and what I thought was love. Now at this point in our lives, our mutual interests have really disappeared, but our love for one another is beyond mere attraction or similar interests. We have some HUGE fundamental differences and we accept and love one another regardless. I never thought such feelings could be truly shared between two people. Oh, that probably didn't answer the question but it sure jump started my day. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Indeed Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Definitely. He is awesome, I love him with all my heart and can not imagine life with out him. I can barely remember me without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 My dh and I have been married for 17 years. We've grown together during that time. I mean, that even though we've grown and changed over the years, we've done that together. We've worked at that. We continue to have a lot in common, we still find each other attractive, and we still love just spending time alone together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erica471 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutely! We are a perfect match. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yes, absolutely! I do still find him the most fascinating person I know. Our 18th anniversary is coming up in Sep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 yes, absolutely. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, the most kind and loving man, and I'm certain nobody would have ever been as good to me as my husband. He's the best! On a side note, I think it's dangerous to entertain thoughts as you are. ;) I think you need to focus on the positive, remember that you (we all) also have negative, and let the rest go. Of course I also think open communication is essential to a good relationship so I'm assuming you've discussed things that bother you with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutely, 24 years and going strong. There was a short time period in our marriage where my answer might have been different, and am I ever glad that I stuck it out. The rewards have been awesome. But that is all based on my knowledge, our lives together. If I were to just meet him right now for the first time, I wouldn't have any of that history or knowledge. Plus we have grown together; what would he be, or what would I be, like if we had aged apart. I know I would be different. The more I think about it the more glad I am I said yes 24 years ago. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherInWI Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 (edited) Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! :thumbup: He's my best friend, and was before we even started dating. I can't believe if we just met today we wouldn't still have that same connection and spark that started it all. (Friends for 19 years, together for 17, about to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.) Edited August 22, 2009 by HeatherInWI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Without a doubt. He is a wonderful father and husband, not mention absolutely adorable!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 If you'd asked me this 4 or more years ago, I would have said no. But we FINALLY in the past 2 years developed into what our marriage should have been all along. Now, it's a resounding yes! This year will be our 17th wedding anniversary! (We married when I was 16, and he was 18...and we are definitely NOT the same people we were.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Well, in terms of physical attraction, I would NOT have my head turned in passing (but then maybe he would say the same about me?!) But upon striking up a conversation, where his genuine heart and morals and thoughts of life would come into play...well then, I feel I would fall in love again all over. Now that is not to say there aren't times I look at him and think, "Who are you and what happened to the man I married?!" But for the most part, aside from some things that drive me crazy, that same wonderful guy is there, and in some ways is better than when we first married. HTH! :iagree: This is what I would basically say too. I gotta say there are things that make me nuts that my dh does, but overall - I know his heart would shine through and that would be it for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I think I'd be more likely now to marry him than 16 years ago when I actually did! (Does that make sense?!) Over the years some of the rougher edges have been smoothed out by God. We both tell each other that we gambled a bit when we married each other back then - but we both hit the jackpot. (Also - one of my dh's best friends wanted to marry me back then. I am so glad I said no! He and his wife are still good friends of ours but I would have gone absolutely nuts if I had married that man! And yet for his wife - she hit the jackpot with him.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 In a heartbeat! He is a sweet, caring husband and father. He is devoted to his family and a great provider. :001_tt1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmeliaJade Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutely. I think he has gotten sexier as he has gotten older. He is the smartest person I've ever met and that attracted me in the beginning. That hasn't changed. I hate being away from him. I still get giddy when I know he is on his way home from work and I still get butterflies when I see his truck pull up in front of the house. He is my best friend. There is no one else I'd rather spend time with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 He is funny, easygoing, fun-loving, a great father and friend. Reading some of the responses, I have to say I think that wanting to be together is the glue in many relationships-whatever the difficulties, if both parties *want* to work it out, they can find a way to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 (edited) Absolutely. I love him awful. *g* And yes, I'd still be attracted to him, he's adorable. But it's really his brain that turned me on the first time, and it still does flick my switches. After reading some of the other answers, I want to add in that yes, years 7-10 are hard. We uttered the D word a few times and I SWEAR there is truth to the 7 year itch. But we made it through and it's not all smooth sailing, but things are deeply wonderful now. 15 years in Sept. Edited August 19, 2009 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbie in IL Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutely, 100 % yes. 19 years married, 23 together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yes! :001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2GirlsTX Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 (edited) What an interesting question. I had to really sit and think about this, as my honest answer is a definite Yes. First we have been married 23 years, two weeks after we were married dh got very sick and was quickly diagnosed with Multiple Scelerosis. It was a rough few years with his health and then it settled down. Like Pamela brought out, she made her marriage work in spite of some difficult circumstances, and we have done the same. DH and I are very happily married, but it took alot of work to stay that way. I'm a very happy wife, but I work very hard to be a good spouse and so does he. So having said all that, my answer is DEFINITELY YES because the best thing about my dh is that he has worked hard to be a good husband/father/friend and even though we had our personality clashes, this guy tries so hard. I've gotta love em, I do, and I would definitely marry him again. Edited August 19, 2009 by Mom2GirlsTX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I can't honestly give that hearty affirmative answer. That doesn't mean I regret our marriage. He probably understands me the most of anyone on Earth, and that's comforting, sometimes (sometimes it's depressing), but that isn't the same as loving someone madly, or even just with a steady, comfortable affection. I know I've changed/adapted somewhat, over the course of our 16 years together, but I feel that my husband has changed quite a bit. So much that many of the things that attracted me to him seem to have faded, or disappeared. His attitude towards me has changed, his manner, his appearance (not that appearance is so important...but it was a factor in our initial attraction)...lots of things. We wanted a lot of the same things when we first met. Now we seem to still at least be on the same page, but sometimes just barely. He's done things that I could never have pictured him doing. He's hurt me more than I would have ever dreamed possible. Now...I hope that doesn't paint too dreary of a picture, lol. We have five great kids, and our faith in common. Things could be worse, and are, for many people. But I did want to put out there, just in case someone is reading this who can't give a resounding "Yes!!", that just because you don't really know if you'd marry him again doesn't mean that life can't be good. I think some folks have to accept a different marriage reality than others, but life isn't perfect. We are where we are, and living in the here and now is best for me, for a number of reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yes, I knew that.....but they lived so far from us that there really wasn't a way to get to know them well before we got married. Thankfully they still live a good distance so it isn't a huge problem most of the time. But we had no way to know before we got married how opposed to homeschooling they would be, how my *boys* would never measure up to the grand-daughters (because his mom prefers girls and did it with her daughter over her sons, but there is no way to know what sex of child you will have before marriage)..... So it isn't always as clear cut as knowing beforehand. Dawn I always tell my son that when you marry you not only marry your spouse - you are marrying into a family. I tell him to make sure he can get along with his in-laws before he considers getting married - (I loved my ILs and only wish they were still with us.) By' date=' the way - YES I WOULD MARRY MY HUSBAND AGAIN![/quote'] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 In a heartbeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 its an interesting question, but one that might just create more problems than its worth for some folks. we don't get a "do-over", so we don't. that's it, that's all. so it isn't helpful, and could be harmful. what would i change "now" to become a better spouse? now that's a question that can lead to some healthy reflection.... fwiw, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciyates Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I am so glad we got married when we did because I think we bring out the best in each other. We love each other very much and I think we strive to make ourselves better people so that we are the kind of person we think the other one deserves. We have been married 16 years. Who knows what kind of people we would be if we had not had our history. But lets say for argument sake that we both turned out to be the kind of person we are now (which I don't think could happen :001_smile:). I would do everything in my power to marry him. He is truly an amazing man. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Elliot Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yes! Definitely yes! A thousand times yes! I think he would appear way more attractive to me now than when I first fell in love with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutely. I fell in love with him the minute I saw him running out of the Student Union at college like a crazy man playing tag. He still does things like this frequently enough that he'd defenitely get my attention again. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I would definitely marry my dh again, and count myself extremely blessed!!:001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheilaZ Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 (edited) Heck yeah! I find him even more attractive now and his personality has grown into an even better person. I often wonder how in the world I found such a great man to marry. He's such a great guy that he thinks he's lucked out to get me for a wife. But I know I got the better end of the deal.:D We're just celebrated 15 years married. Edited August 19, 2009 by SheilaZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jami Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I can't honestly give that hearty affirmative answer. That doesn't mean I regret our marriage. He probably understands me the most of anyone on Earth, and that's comforting, sometimes (sometimes it's depressing), but that isn't the same as loving someone madly, or even just with a steady, comfortable affection. I know I've changed/adapted somewhat, over the course of our 16 years together, but I feel that my husband has changed quite a bit. So much that many of the things that attracted me to him seem to have faded, or disappeared. His attitude towards me has changed, his manner, his appearance (not that appearance is so important...but it was a factor in our initial attraction)...lots of things. We wanted a lot of the same things when we first met. Now we seem to still at least be on the same page, but sometimes just barely. He's done things that I could never have pictured him doing. He's hurt me more than I would have ever dreamed possible. Now...I hope that doesn't paint too dreary of a picture, lol. We have five great kids, and our faith in common. Things could be worse, and are, for many people. But I did want to put out there, just in case someone is reading this who can't give a resounding "Yes!!", that just because you don't really know if you'd marry him again doesn't mean that life can't be good. I think some folks have to accept a different marriage reality than others, but life isn't perfect. We are where we are, and living in the here and now is best for me, for a number of reasons. Thanks for posting this, Jill. You're not alone in feeling this way. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Well, we're nearing our 14th anniversary... we've been together for a little over 15 years. :001_wub: If I were to meet him for the first time today - I would launch myself across the room and throw myself at him. :001_tt1: And, fly to Vegas to get married tonight. :D ...and be very sad about what I'd been missing in my life for the past 15 years. Although - I'd be a VERY different person if I hadn't married my dh at such a young age. He's been such a wonderful counter-balance and influence on me as a human being, and a mother - that I'd be a much different person by this point. Probably not one who would interest him! :lol: (so, I might have to drag him to Vegas kicking and screaming... :auto: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caitlinsmom Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutly. In fact I find him much more attractive (in all aspect not just physical) than when we first met. We were both very young when we met and he (more so than me) has really "come into" himself over the years with a beautiful sense of wisdom and maturity about him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi @ Mt Hope Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 We've only been married 13 1/2 years, but.... YES!! There are absolutely things about him that drive me crazy (in the frustrated, annoyed sort of way), but I also know that our polar opposite personalities balance each other out *really well.* I know that we've both been really good for each other. I also have watched enough other marriages to know that life and relationships just aren't perfect. I haven't met another guy I'd rather be married to and I've never been jealous of someone else's whole life (certain aspects, sure :) ). I think, given my husband's childhood (in contrast to mine), that it is astounding how 'on the same page' we are. And, yes, he still drives me crazy in a good way. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Are you kidding? Do you know how much work I've done in a mere 6 yrs to train my dh? Of COURSE I'd marry him again...not about to let all that work go to waste! :lol: I joke, sort of. Reality of it is, my husband had a lot of learning (as did/do I) about what it means to be part of a family. He didn't have that as a kid, not the way he should have. When we first married, work was his priority. Now its his family. He'd never so much as held a baby before, now he's a champ at changing diapers, and a very hands on Daddy. Yes, there are some things that I dearly wish weren't. Like little to no short term memory, and a huge issue with being self centred. Unfortunately, that's from his having FASD. The self centred part is because his brain isn't wired to figure out cause and effect. Strictly impulse...and that's where I come in and gently point out the effect of him doing x,y,z. Its also meant that *I* do all the banking and bill paying, because it greatly effects his ability to manage finances. Some days I'd still marry him...other days, I think that marriage isn't meant to be this hard, and marrying someone without FASD could have made life so much easier, better... But this is THIS life, and there aren't any 'do overs'. So I keep looking at my husband's strengths and working with him on some of his issues. And I pray that I become the wife he needs. He's also gotten way better at recognizing my needs too. Perhaps by the time I hit the 15 yr mark, I'll be able to say YES without thinking deeply about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Definitely, 20 years and we still got the heat. :001_wub: The chemistry and camaraderie are still just as strong as they ever were and I can't think of anything he does that even irritates me. I feel incredibly blessed. I totally agree. Except for the irritating part. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Well, in terms of physical attraction, I would NOT have my head turned in passing (but then maybe he would say the same about me?!) But upon striking up a conversation, where his genuine heart and morals and thoughts of life would come into play...well then, I feel I would fall in love again all over. Now that is not to say there aren't times I look at him and think, "Who are you and what happened to the man I married?!" But for the most part, aside from some things that drive me crazy, that same wonderful guy is there, and in some ways is better than when we first married. HTH! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elohcin Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 We've been married 15 years and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I am more sure of it now than I was 15 years ago (he says the same thing). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yep. He is my man. I am his woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diann Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Absolutely. After 26 years of marriage, we are still best friends. Diann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yes. I am happy I married my husband and this is our 15th year. But I would take it under more advisement that he is 8 years older than I. I didn't think that would matter in any material way, but I was wrong. I would not encourage my own children to marry someone more than 3 years outside of their own age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Yep. He's still the same guy I married and liked all those years ago. However!! I'm not the same person he married. I'm not sure if we were meeting for the first time if he would be interested in me:001_huh: But I certainly hope so! The person he married is still here just with a much different outlook and view than before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Would you remarry your husband now? We have been married for 17 years. The answer to this is unequivocally YES. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 (edited) If you've been married more than 15 years or so how would you answer this question? Just pretend you are meeting your spouse for the first time at this point in your life. Apparently I lack imagination. I'm incapable of suspending reality to the extent required in order to answer the question. In order to "just pretend" I'm meeting Hans for the first time at this point in my life, I have to "just pretend" I don't have five children. I have to pretend I don't live on a dairy farm and in all likelihood have never given a thought to the mere idea of such a thing. If I wasn't doing what I'm doing now, I'd be doing something else and that would involve other things and people and places. I'd be different in that I wouldn't be a wife and mother, much less homeschooling and dairy farming. All my circumstances would be different, in other words. I have no clue what I'd be like at age 40 if the past 15 years hadn't happened as they have, so I have no clue how I'd respond to my husband if I met him now ~ but "now" wasn't really "now". Edited August 19, 2009 by Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Apparently I lack imagination. I'm incapable of suspending reality to the extent required in order to answer the question. In order to "just pretend" I'm meeting Hans for the first time at this point in my life, I have to "just pretend" I don't have five children. I have to pretend I don't live on a dairy farm and in all likelihood have never given a thought to the mere idea of such a thing. If I wasn't doing what I'm doing now, I'd be doing something else and that would involve other things and people and places. I'd be different in that I wouldn't be a wife and mother, much less homeschooling and dairy farming. All my circumstances would be different, in other words. I have no clue what I'd like at age 40 if the past 15 years hadn't happened as they have, so I have no clue how I'd respond to my husband if I met him now ~ but "now" wasn't really "now". You are most definitely right in your philosophising, but I think the OP meant whether we like our husbands as human beings and would still be attracted to meeting this kind of a person. Or do we like our husbands enough to want to re-new our vows? Perhaps the latter would have been a better question.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Lynn Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Apparently I lack imagination. I'm incapable of suspending reality to the extent required in order to answer the question. In order to "just pretend" I'm meeting Hans for the first time at this point in my life, I have to "just pretend" I don't have five children. I have to pretend I don't live on a dairy farm and in all likelihood have never given a thought to the mere idea of such a thing. If I wasn't doing what I'm doing now, I'd be doing something else and that would involve other things and people and places. I'd be different in that I wouldn't be a wife and mother, much less homeschooling and dairy farming. All my circumstances would be different, in other words. I have no clue what I'd be like at age 40 if the past 15 years hadn't happened as they have, so I have no clue how I'd respond to my husband if I met him now ~ but "now" wasn't really "now". Oh, come on give it a try. Suspending all reality is fun. I am also wondering, if this would require my dh's death and the ensuing insurance money. And if I married him again, would I have to give that settlement back. It all factors in, you know. LOL All in all, I have no idea what my true answer would be, but I know I would still find my dh interesting and would want to be friends at the very least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I would unless I found a better "model" before! Seriously, I don't think my marriage is perfect by any means, but I still find my dh very attractive, he still has all the qualities that attracted me to him when we met 21 years ago, and he has mellowed out a lot which is a plus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I would marry him faster today than I did 11 years ago! He is awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Definitely, yes I would marry him if we had met at this stage of life instead of as teens. If anything, we've both gotten better with age :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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