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WWYD.....Rent is over my limit **Update in OP


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#51 eternalsummer

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 04:42 AM

I also used the bus for school in various places with an hourly route; it was fine.  With a full time job or with kids (although I did have a 2 year old at the time) it would be less fun.

 

I just don't see how $1500/mo rent with a $3000/mo income, approx. - which includes child support! - is feasible.  I don't even think you're going to get these places; many landlords want to see you making 3x the rent, and I don't know if they're allowed to discount child support but I bet some of them are less likely to rent to you because of it when the rental pressure is high.  

 

I would really advise finding a lower-pressure area to live within commuting distance of your job.


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#52 Lanny

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 05:00 AM

OP I read the first post and some of the replies. I rode my bike to Elementary School in the 5th and 6th grades in a large CA city. I took 3 buses to get home from Jr. High or walked part part way and took 2 buses. I read that you do not want to move to another state but that is what I did and if you did that you and your DC will have more food to eat. I wish you and your DC much good luck!

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#53 displace

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 05:01 AM

I also used the bus for school in various places with an hourly route; it was fine. With a full time job or with kids (although I did have a 2 year old at the time) it would be less fun.

I just don't see how $1500/mo rent with a $3000/mo income, approx. - which includes child support! - is feasible. I don't even think you're going to get these places; many landlords want to see you making 3x the rent, and I don't know if they're allowed to discount child support but I bet some of them are less likely to rent to you because of it when the rental pressure is high.

I would really advise finding a lower-pressure area to live within commuting distance of your job.

Likely the child support is only intended for the younger DS. If the older one is college aged there is probably no extra help from ex, but OP is financially helping him/her with housing, utilities, food, etc. I don't think a lot of judges give kids > 18 years old any financial assistance. Like young adults may not need help too!

But, if the other child is old enough to financially contribute, I'd seriously consider asking for help. Even nominally for some grocery money or some utilities.

Edited by displace, 16 July 2017 - 05:01 AM.

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#54 SKL

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 05:01 AM

I would plan on the bus service and figure out how the time will be best used.  What is there in & around the school that would be useful during the wait for the bus?  Sports / clubs, library, anyplace where he could do homework.  He could read or study on the bus.  Meanwhile, if he finds this unpleasant, he could make efforts after school starts to find a carpool or other solution.

 

There are many kids (and adults) who have long bus commutes and make it work.  I never rode the bus (always walked), so I thought my kids would hate it, but they actually enjoy it.



#55 eternalsummer

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 05:47 AM

I may be biased because I loved riding the bus.


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#56 Starr

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 06:27 AM

We lived in one bedroom apartments from time to time when I was growing up. My sister and I had the bedroom and mom slept on a foldout couch. She wanted us in good schools and that was her compromise. 


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#57 SparklyUnicorn

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 07:15 AM

I may be biased because I loved riding the bus.

 

I don't mind it.  It's not as convenient, but not the worst thing ever.  Plus you can spend commute time reading or doing some other activity.  Like people watching.  : )


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#58 DawnM

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 07:39 AM

Are you selling the house because it is part of the divorce agreement?  Can you get your ex to agree to wait until after your son finishes high school?


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#59 Lanny

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 07:52 AM

What will happen, for example after you live there for one year, when they increase the rent, or if the cost of utilities increases? Will you be able to continue living in that place?   Are you eligible for Food Stamps and/or a housing subsidy (city, county or state), for low income families? That is an extremely high COL area, with a lot of competition for the existing housing, as you know. 

 

ETA: Eventually you will probably need to move to an area with a much lower COL, possibly in NV or UT or TX or OK, or in many other states.   CA is not a good place for a family with a very low income. 

 

ETA  #2    Do you and your DC have Health/Medical insurance that you can pay for, in addition to the Rent and many other expenses? The cost of that insurance will probably continue to increase. 
 


Edited by Lanny, 16 July 2017 - 07:58 AM.

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#60 Lanny

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 08:24 AM

I read more of the posts and read that the OP has family about 500 miles away, and that she is in the Sacramento area.  The tie she has to where they are now is her job.  From Sacramento, to Reno, is 2 1/2 hours in a car.  I lived in Reno for awhile, after I left CA. That is the closest lower cost COL area to the OP.

 

Where her family are, if that's a lower COL area, is probably the best place for her, if/when they leave Sacramento, because then she would (hopefully) have a "support system", which she is totally lacking at this time.

 

About the transportation to and from school.  I lived in TX for 28 years and I think the state law there is that the local school district (ISD) operates school buses. I think students who live more than 1 or 2 miles from their school can ride the buses. Probably not to/from the house, but a nearby pickup point down the block.

 

CA apparently does not have that kind of law for their public school children. 


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#61 WendyAndMilo

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 09:34 AM

FWIW, as a below-poverty-level single mom, I eventually had to get out of CA.
OP, is your family one that you could get help from if you moved closer? I know you said you want to stay because of your DS and his friends but I think a lot can be said for moving closer to family following a major disruption.
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#62 DawnM

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 09:39 AM

FWIW, as a below-poverty-level single mom, I eventually had to get out of CA.
OP, is your family one that you could get help from if you moved closer? I know you said you want to stay because of your DS and his friends but I think a lot can be said for moving closer to family following a major disruption.

 

And the son is 8th grade. Might not be too bad to switch schools at the start of 9th grade.    I don't know what OPs schools are like, but in the CA schools I worked in, not all middle schoolers went to the same high school anyway.

 

My son will be 8th grade next year.  We may move next summer.  He is not happy.  But there may not be much of an option for him.


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#63 luuknam

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 10:46 AM

I guess until desperation happens I'm just not capable of leaving. It's too much for me to imagine.

I'm so confused.

 

 

:grouphug:

 

Realistically, I don't know if I'd be able to in your circumstances either, even though I think it's very likely the best solution. There are so many things you'd have to think about at once. Basically, you'd have to start by picking a lower COL area you think you might enjoy living in for the next 4+ years, that doesn't have a high unemployment rate (and by that I don't mean a neighborhood, I mean a city - like Lanny mentioned Reno (though I thought you said you were in SF, not Sacramento), or some place in TX, or if you would enjoy some time in cooler weather, there are a bunch of states like that too). Then, apply to many, many jobs - I wouldn't particularly want to move to another state without a job secured either. While you're doing that, spend some of the time you're not applying to jobs researching neighborhoods and schools, etc, and apartments. So, like I said, I'm not convinced I'd be able to pull all of that off in 1.5 months (but, I also don't do well with change, so this is probably very individual). So, realistically, odds are that I'd just rent a cheap for your area 1 bedroom with a once an hour bus ride to/from school instead. We've lived in a 17ft camper for about a year (my wife, Celery when he was a baby, and I, and for a few weeks my mom lived with us to help out with the baby, so I'm not scared of small spaces).

 

FYI, once you reach the point of desperation, you'll likely be trapped. Moves aren't free by any means, so, once you're desperate (because your emergency fund is completely gone and you've been evicted or w/e), it's going to be mighty tough to start over in another state.


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#64 Lanny

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 11:57 AM

luuknam brought up some things the OP should consider: The first is that if she begins digging into her Emergency Fund, it will probably be totally depleted, within one year. The other is that one cannot make huge changes, involving an interstate move in 1 month. Even if one knows what their destination city is.  If the OP has or can get job skills that are in demand, there is a possibility an employer in another city/state would pay her moving expenses.

 

At first, I thought/assumed, that she was in the San Francisco Bay area, but after reading many of the posts in this thread, I now believe that she is in the Sacramento area.  

 

OT:   I wonder if the older DS is studying, in addition to working, or if he is only working.  If he is just working, possibly he might consider joining the military, where he would (hopefully) be sent to a Technical School, where he might learn things that are in demand in the Civilian job sector.  And, to qualify for Educational benefits Active Duty Military personnel have and benefits for those who leave the military.  Another possibility is to join the Reserves (Air National Guard, Marine Corp Reserve, etc.) and be sent to the same Technical Schools.   That would also get him out of the very small apartment she is contemplating moving into, reduce her expenses, and possibly he could/would send her an Allotment each month, to help with her expenses.  

 

Reno had quite a recession a few years ago, I'm not sure if they have completely recovered from that.



#65 Liz CA

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 12:02 PM


I don't know if you have the budget for loft beds, but they can make a real difference in how much space a person has. They are quite common in dorms.

 

If the living room is big enough, you may even be able to put a bed for you behind a screen or room divider. Another option is to put some big throw pillows on a twin bed so it feels like a couch. Or, consider a futon that can double as a couch during the day.

 

 

I'm sorry it's so tight.

 

Remember that right now you are working on making a start. You have a paying job and you are soon to be free of the divorce and the lawyer. You're a hard worker and you love your kids. It will get better. :grouphug:

 

I was thinking that IKEA has all kinds of storage solutions for small spaces and they are relatively inexpensive. Organization of space may be key so everyone still feels they have a corner with their own things.


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#66 reefgazer

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 12:31 PM

NM - OP answered upthread and I didn't see it.


Edited by reefgazer, 16 July 2017 - 12:35 PM.


#67 Laurel-in-CA

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 12:35 PM

I live in NorCal and the high school my teen would be bussed to charges $250/semester for bus pickup and delivery. Sigh. It's about 1/4 mile walk to the public bus stop and a lot of families prefer that option as they can buy monthly passes....but for us that wouldn't pay unless student was riding twice/day every day. Son took the bus home (dropped off by dad) and bought a pass with a set # of rides instead. As I recall, that was about $30/30 rides.

 

I think that a one bedroom apartment for a year lease with the resolve to look at other options then, once things are more stable, might be the most reasonable option. I would rather pinch the pennies by cramming than be caught out by an emergencies. JMHO. And Sacramento is expanding, but way cheaper than where we live right now....they take bids on rooms for rent here.


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#68 luuknam

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 12:41 PM

I think that a one bedroom apartment for a year lease with the resolve to look at other options then, once things are more stable, might be the most reasonable option. I would rather pinch the pennies by cramming than be caught out by an emergencies. 

 

 

Yes, upon further reflection, that's probably the most reasonable thing to do - suck it up in some cheap tiny apartment for 1-2 semesters, and then move. Especially since OP is probably emotionally etc drained from divorce... if not already emotionally etc drained, I think there are people who could pull off finding a job in another state and dealing with the move in just 1.5 months, but that's not the point OP is starting from.


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#69 monstermama

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 12:53 PM

Any possibility they'd reduce the rent if you'd commit to a longer rental term?  I'm not sure if it'd work the same for apartments, but when we rented a house, we got a reduction of about $150/month for the first year with a two year lease.  The landlord liked knowing she wouldn't have the hassle of possibly going through the whole rental rigamarole again in another year.


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#70 Lady Marmalade

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 12:59 PM

OP, whatever you decide to do, you CAN do this!!  You really can!  And while it may seem that you don't have external family support to call on right now, it sure sounds like you have great internal support from your children. Rally together and get them involved in the decision making about where to live and how to make it work.  Make it a group effort to find the best possible solution while you get your feet under you.   If you get them in on the decision making process they will feel more like they are involved in positive change instead of focusing on all the carp that's been going on.

 

 


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#71 luuknam

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 01:53 PM

One of the reasons you might want to stay in your current area for 1-2 semesters is that iiuc, you don't have much of a recent work history, so having the job you just got for 6-12 months would make it easier to get another job elsewhere. 


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#72 EmilyGF

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 02:54 PM

One of the reasons you might want to stay in your current area for 1-2 semesters is that iiuc, you don't have much of a recent work history, so having the job you just got for 6-12 months would make it easier to get another job elsewhere. 

Hugs. I'm from the SF Bay Area and we moved from there to a "High Cost of Living" city which meant we still paid the same amount as we paid in Santa Cruz for rent ($1850/month) but got a four bedroom apartment with a new kitchen and hard wood floors instead of a two bedroom without insulation.

 

But then my sister lives in a much better Midwestern city (better social safety net, better community services, better schools generally) and her house cost her $100K - it has two floors and three bedrooms, attached garage, small yard. Her kids could walk to the excellent schools and a bus picks up outside her house. 

 

When I went to school in the SF Bay Area, divorced kids basically moved away because their parents could no longer afford to live in our neighborhood. But there is a world out there (if you can keep the savings to finance a move in the future) where you don't have to decimate your budget to afford housing. I recognize that this can't be done at the drop of a hat, but keep it in the big picture view. 

Emily


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#73 Laura in CA

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 04:34 PM

I can commiserate! Sorry you are in this situation – I know it's confusing. :001_huh:  One of my (college-age) sons lives in Berkeley and pays – no kidding – 3x what my out-of-state son pays in rent, and get this: the Berkeley son is crammed into a small triple room (he sleeps in a bunk bed, w/3 guys in the small room), while my out-of-state son has his own room. So that's a factor of 9x in rent, sigh ...

My recently divorced friend had to move back to OK (where she is from) so her mother could babysit and she could afford housing. With her share of the proceeds from selling their CA house, she bought a house in OK for ... $55k? Literally one tenth the price of the cheapest condo here. 

Anyway, I'll just throw this out there ... I think a PP mentioned this, but maybe look around for a 'creative' living arrangement. I know a formerly homeschooled young woman here who lives with a family and gets free or reduced rent for her room in exchange for some light housework and walking the dog, or something. So I'm thinking that perhaps an elderly widow/couple might have an in-law unit (renting out in-law units is newly legal where we live) or some rooms that they might rent out cheaply in exchange for some light help around the house. Obviously you'd want to make sure it's a good situation, but a local community group or church might have leads for this kind of thing. (There are an awful lot of elderly people living alone in large houses here.) You'd give up some autonomy, of course, but the rents are just crazy here and you don't want to deplete your emergency funds, and it should be a temporary situation ... In college I almost rented a room from a family that wanted some babysitting in exchange for reduced rent (I didn't click with the kids, and the amount of babysitting wasn't spelled out, so I passed).

 

Oh, and I agree about the older kid(s) chipping in. It depends on family dynamics, of course, but I know many low-income immigrant families here in which the teenagers are proud to help out the family with the money from their after-school jobs. Oh, and I also know of many situations where an entire large family is living in someone's (usually friend or family) garage ... obviously not ideal, but they are doing what they have to to survive, and hoping it is temporary.  (I'm NOT saying you should live in a garage! – just that things are crazy-expensive here.) 

 

Best wishes!

 


Edited by Laura in CA, 16 July 2017 - 04:36 PM.

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#74 cera2

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 05:43 PM

I completely understand how stuck you feel because I divorced 6 years ago and felt the same way.

 

We were living somewhere a few hundred miles from family and my ex relocated shortly after we separated.  It was a pretty unstable time and hard to figure out which path was the right one.  

 

I found a house that I felt the most comfortable being in and signed a one year lease.  It was a little more expensive than I wanted long term but for 12 months it was worth it.  It allowed me to start feeling settled, get used to working, build a new community and find the resources to help me with my kids, feel a little more settled and ready to make longer term decisions, work out the kinks in my budget, etc.  Overall that year cost me a bit of savings but allowed me to be in the position to make really good long term decisions when my lease was up.

 

Over that first year I figured out where we really wanted to live, my kids and I got used to me working and found some great people to provide rides and babysit, etc.  When my lease was up I was able to move into a place that was perfect for us because I had the time and mental energy to really figure out what that would look like then find it.

 

If you would feel comfortable and secure in that apt then the extra $200-$300 a month might be worth it for a year.   Don't underestimate the value of being comfortable during this transition time.


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#75 Arctic Mama

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 06:48 PM

I understand the thoughts but I can't leave the area. My entire region is high unless I moved really far and then getting to work would be a stressor.

He starts school 8/10.

I hope my income increases but it will be a few years.

I can't help that I need the child support.

I guess until desperation happens I'm just not capable of leaving. It's too much for me to imagine.

I'm so confused.

What do you do for a living? We may be able to suggest some other areas that would give you options in the coming years. If you want to leave until you're desperate it's significantly harder. Moving with a decent job on your terms is something we are doing right now, and we are watching lots of friends and neighbors moving jobless because they have to. They're losing money and sleep AND choices by not having moved before they were racing desperate straits.

Edited by Arctic Mama, 16 July 2017 - 06:50 PM.

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#76 Faithful_Steward

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 06:58 PM

((Hugs))

My only two ideas are to move or get a second job. :(
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#77 heartlikealion

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 08:30 PM

I didn't see an answer to this... is it at all possible for you to drive your son to school? I guess picking up would be the problem, but I might have him take the public transit after school and do homework at the bus stop???

 

I know you don't qualify for section 8, but what about some type of sliding scale/low income situation? When dh and I were on harder times and our rent went up (yes, that's a very real possibility for you too which makes me think maybe keep looking) I sought out a subdivision for low-income families. We actually had a decent set up, it was just the neighborhood I wasn't so fond of. We got a 3 bd townhouse and even that felt cramped. I say please do not try the one bedroom with three people. Oh my goodness, I crashed on my sister's couch in CA after Hurricane Katrina and it was an awful arrangement. We had one bedroom and one bathroom. She stayed in her room and I stayed in the living room. Do you have one or two bathrooms?


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#78 AK_Mom4

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 08:42 PM

Hugs, OP. 

 

Having housing as 45% of your income probably isn't ideal, but it could be much worse in that area of CA.    I would probably go with the 45% apartment and tighten the budget as much as I could to get some money into savings so you have a cushion.   If the 19yo can't help out with money due to low wages, I would talk to them about other things they can do to help out - like cleaning the common areas or doing everyone's laundry or changing the oil in your car - just something that would reduce some of the stress on you.

 

I would certainly ask if signing a one-year lease would get you a rent reduction.  Sometimes they can offer than but don't mention it up front.  Check things like car insurance for companies with lower rates.

 

Hoping things will be better for you this fall.


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#79 Zinnia

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 09:07 PM

Moving to an entirely new area with no real savings (6+ months living expenses at least) and no secured job is not a great idea unless you're desperate, imo.  Moving to an outer suburb, though, might really open up housing options.  $1500 for a 2 bedroom apt is crazy!

 

This is a common rent in my area for safe housing.  Even in the outer ring suburbs and exurbs.

 

And I don't think of us as particularly high cost of living.


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#80 heartlikealion

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 09:10 PM

This is a common rent in my area for safe housing.  Even in the outer ring suburbs and exurbs.

 

And I don't think of us as particularly high cost of living.

 

I'm not surprised. It was around $1000 for some one bedrooms when I was last in Southern CA. And I'm not sure if the OP stated how many bathrooms.
 


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#81 Um_2_4

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 09:20 PM

$1500 for a 2 bedroom in that area is a deal TBH. And many families pay 50%+ of their income in rent. Such is life in much of CA.

OP, could you look if you qualify for some assistance with other things? Like utilities? Lifeline cell phones in CA? You might even qualify for some food stamps at that income level, wouldn't hurt to ask. If $200 in food stamps would give you some breathing space, use it.

I totally understand not wanting to uproot everything at once. In your shoes, I would want my kids to at least have a familiar area, even if we couldn't stay in the same house.


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#82 frogger

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Posted 16 July 2017 - 10:19 PM

I would probably deal with both ugly and single room over paying more. I have dealt with 3 people in a one bedroom and at a different time 5 people in a two bedroom and that one included a teenager. The first one bedroom situation was easier because toddlers don't take much room.

I know we all have our different limits though.

ETA: You in no way sound like a whiner but someone in a really tough situation trying to figure things out.

Edited by frogger, 16 July 2017 - 10:37 PM.

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#83 mommybee

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 12:53 AM

Thanks to all that have responded.

I hear all of it but it's just a hard combination of circumstances.

It's so sad that I gave up my years of earning so my kids could have a better education and as of today my 19 yr old withdrew from college so he can try to work more hours and help me out with the rent.

My divorce has been so dirty and he has refused to let me live here until A is done with high school....I tried but with a new girlfriend he wants his money. I obviously can't afford to pay the mortgage and rent so I'm struggling with timing there as well.

I have 4 yrs of work history now. I am a pharmacy technician but retail was low pay and horrid. I am lucky enough to work for a big and awesome insurance company and I can't see leaving this job. It is really a good place to work with great insurance benefits. I can't just find another place right now like this. I planned to leave CA when A gets done with high school but I need him to have some stability. I hated being a latchkey kid whose mother was never around. So I'm trying my best.

I will probably have to drive him to school but it will be way before school starts so he only needs to figure out a way home. I'd have him stay at the library but they are closed on Mondays. If he has to bus home it might work but I hate my options.

We have a rare lucky day where we will at the state Fair tomorrow!

Edited by mommybee, 17 July 2017 - 12:55 AM.

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#84 heartlikealion

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 12:53 AM

You know this has a lot to do with layout, too. I've been inside drastically different one bedroom layouts. One had a dining room and hallway. The other had a bar rather than a dining room. No true hallway and the layout didn't offer much room if you wanted to put bar stools there as they would kinda clutter up walkway.

 

When someone suggested a roommate earlier they probably mean for a larger place rather than having a roommate in the 2 bedroom? I don't know if a roommate would offset the cost enough to warrant a third bedroom and if I didn't know anyone I wouldn't be super eager to have a stranger move in.



#85 heartlikealion

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 12:59 AM

Thanks to all that have responded.

I hear all of it but it's just a hard combination of circumstances.

It's so sad that I gave up my years of earning so my kids could have a better education and as of today my 19 yr old withdrew from college so he can try to work more hours and help me out with the rent.

My divorce has been so dirty and he has refused to let me live here until A is done with high school....I tried but with a new girlfriend he wants his money. I obviously can't afford to pay the mortgage and rent so I'm struggling with timing there as well.

I have 4 yrs of work history now. I am a pharmacy technician but retail was low pay and horrid. I am lucky enough to work for a big and awesome insurance company and I can't see leaving this job. It is really a good place to work with great insurance benefits. I can't just find another place right now like this. I planned to leave CA when A gets done with high school but I need him to have some stability. I hated being a latchkey kid whose mother was never around. So I'm trying my best.

I will probably have to drive him to school but it will be way before school starts so he only needs to figure out a way home. I'd have him stay at the library but they are closed on Mondays. If he has to bus home it might work but I hate my options.

We have a rare lucky day where we will at the state Fair tomorrow!

 

While I find that very noble, I don't think your high school kids are latchkey kids. They are teenagers, not young children coming home to an empty house. Not sure if that makes it better to you but given the situation and their ages they probably understand. I don't know if you're going to get a second job but unless you're working nights I don't think it's that odd for you to not see them for a couple of hours after school.


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#86 mommybee

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 01:17 AM

While I find that very noble, I don't think your high school kids are latchkey kids. They are teenagers, not young children coming home to an empty house. Not sure if that makes it better to you but given the situation and their ages they probably understand. I don't know if you're going to get a second job but unless you're working nights I don't think it's that odd for you to not see them for a couple of hours after school.


I know....they are really fine and very well adjusted. It's just me reliving trauma from my own growing up years.

I wanted different for my kids and I ended up divorced.
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#87 Frances

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 01:24 AM

You are in a great profession for mobility if you ever want to move to a lower cost of living area in the future. Most hospitals provide good insurance and have lots of pharmacy tech jobs.
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#88 Arctic Mama

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 01:24 AM

DP

Edited by Arctic Mama, 17 July 2017 - 04:00 AM.


#89 Arctic Mama

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 01:41 AM

Mommybee - can you look internally for another job in a different location or are they only in that one spot? It sounds like a great job and I'm glad that part of your life is going well. You deserve a win.
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#90 Melissa in Australia

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 02:02 AM

Hugs

Hugs

Hugs

So sorry to hear your son has dropped collage. Is there any way to help him change his mind and start again?
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#91 displace

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 03:31 AM

(Hugs) :(

#92 displace

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 03:34 AM

I'm sorry for your older one. Can he still take some classes? Or maybe switch to a certificate degree ATM?

Try to have fun at the fair!
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#93 luuknam

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 09:11 AM

When someone suggested a roommate earlier they probably mean for a larger place rather than having a roommate in the 2 bedroom? I don't know if a roommate would offset the cost enough to warrant a third bedroom and if I didn't know anyone I wouldn't be super eager to have a stranger move in.

 

 

That's what I was thinking too. And I'd only do that if I had a big enough emergency fund, because otherwise you'd be vulnerable to not being able to pay the rent if the roommate doesn't pay his/her share. Same as with the child support... not liking being completely vulnerable to people you either don't know or who you already know don't get along with you (I'd be more willing to rely on child support if the divorce was completely amicably and the person cared a LOT about the kids... even then, life circumstances could happen that would lead the ex to miss a few payments, but at least they'd be trying, rather than only doing it because they legally have to).


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#94 amy g.

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 09:59 AM

I would not move my kids to a new area when the family is also going through a divorce. And moving is expensive, especially across the country.

Can you find a one bedroom where he can walk to school? I would do that as a first choice. But for me, the bus is no big deal. We are in Vallejo, and my older girls take the bus to Napa every day for summer school.

I'm sorry you are in this situation at all. Hopefully when you get moved and your Ds starts school, life will settle down and everyone will feel more secure.
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#95 Moxie

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 11:21 AM

DP

Edited by Moxie, 17 July 2017 - 11:23 AM.


#96 Moxie

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 11:22 AM

You need to build a community of people who can help you. Are in a church? Know anyone at the school? I'd put it on FB that you need help getting Johnny home from school. You never know what will turn up.

Edited by Moxie, 17 July 2017 - 11:22 AM.

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#97 Ravin

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 11:27 AM

I have a decent income and with child support I'm doing ok, so I don't need section 8, I'm grateful that I am getting by I just have never gone through this before. 

 

So for my house with all that's included I pay about $1500 that's including water, trash and sewer. 

 

These apartments I have been looking at are all $1500 or more, and some are so ugly they are not worth that. The one I liked is $1675 but then another $70 a month for water,trash and sewer. So it would be about 45% of my income. I will make a tiny bit from the house which will pay off the enormous lawyer debt so I won't have a lot of debt and I am a saver who has really good credit. My concern is of course getting stuck for a year with an amount that turns out is a bit beyond my ability. 

 

It seems like a bad idea, that's why I asked. I am considering the 1 bedroom idea but it seems difficult. 

 

My 19 just got a new job so I need to see just how much he can help but he isn't driving yet. If he was I would probably have him go live with his older brother so we could get something smaller.

 

I probably sound like a whiner but I haven't moved in 20 years. I have always struggled for money even while growing up but we always had pretty decent places to live so I've never experienced living in a one bedroom with three people. So I guess I just can't visualize what that would look like for us.

 

Honestly, in your circumstances 48% of your income can be doable. It's not ideal, but it's doable.


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#98 goldberry

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 11:45 AM

What a rough situation...   :grouphug:


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#99 Lanny

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 11:56 AM

Two of my concerns for the OP and her DC are: What will happen, when the Rent she begins paying during August 2017 is increased? Will she be able to handle the rent increase or will they need to move again? The other thing is how is she going to pull this off before August 10th when the new semester begins?   The later is the more immediate problem she faces.  I would not want to need to be in a new place before August 10th, and not know where that place is on July 17th.  


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#100 transientChris

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 12:03 PM

I am with luuknam and some of the others about being careful with renting something you can't afford without child support and which would deplete your emergency savings so you couldn't move. Your ex sounds exactly like the kind of person who ends up not paying or late paying, etc. I would not hesitate to rent someplace that is even up to 50% of your income and whatever income your older son is providing into the household. I know you need less stress but at least for me, dealing with difficult issues right away is still better than leaving them for later and continuing worrying if the child support will be here. Is the child support sent by him or taken out of his pay directly? It is more secure if his employer pays it out of his check. As someone who has moved a lot of times, children adjust and we do too. I am not saying move right now to a low cost area. But I would be looking for low cost areas where your kids can get free college. A number of states have free college for kids with certain stats. In my area, pharmacy tech with experience makes about 14/hr and the two bedroom my son rents in a good school district is something like 840 a month. The apartment is nice with pool and tennis courts and respectable neighbours. That is just an example of what you can find in much, much lower cost areas and many of these places are really nice cities with lots of support for Boy Scouts and kids in general. I lived in Sacramento and remember having to search out very low cost activities and really having to watch how we spent money because even though we got free housing, all the other costs in CA still put pressure on our income because we had no locality increase. What was perfectly adequate in Ohio was tight in CA.