If you absolutely hate an unreturnable gift that your spouse gave you...

[battlemaiden]

how do you handle it?

 

My dh is usually great, but he picked up some gifts in a hurry while in Singapore and although some were great- fresh water pearl necklace and earrings- some were, umm, tacky. I just can't put that bizarre pencil holder, or vase, or whatever, on my counter....ever. He didn't have much time and he was with a group of men, but he went through a lot of effort to buy these things and get them in the mail under difficult circumstances.

 

I should just tell him, huh? I just don't like squashing him from his efforts. I'm blessed that he made the effort at all.

 

Just wondering how you all handle it....

 

Jo

[Melinda in VT]

Vase, you say? Put it on the edge of the counter and wait for one of the kids to knock it off. Should be gone long before your husband gets back.

[Tree House Academy]

I would put that tacky vase on my counter and be thrilled my husband tried sooooo hard to get something he thought I would like. ;)

[plain jane]

Vase, you say? Put it on the edge of the counter and wait for one of the kids to knock it off. Should be gone long before your husband gets back.

 

:w00t::ohmy::lol:

[hornblower]

This reminds me of a grandma I know who is SO into the look of her home that she doesn't like to display any of the her young grandkids' arts & crafts. Cause you know, thanksgiving turkeys made from paper plates & glued on pastas ARE tacky. No doubt about it.

 

Honestly, I'd display it at least for a while; stuff a bouquet of flowers in it & plonk it on your counter & laugh about it & enjoy it.

[bkpan]

I would put that tacky vase on my counter and be thrilled my husband tried sooooo hard to get something he thought I would like. ;)

 

:iagree:

[Rosie_0801]

You have small children. They would love it for their cubby house or something. They want those ones in particular because Daddy bought them. All you have to do is fiddle around with it, leave it within reach. Your tots will realise the coolness factor and make off with it.

:)

Rosie

[Nestof3]

I get funky, highly glittered stuff from the Dollar Tree from my young boys. I just put them on my bookshelf in my bedroom. I've since pointed out little things at the craft store that I like b/c I only have so much space for trinkets. The things are really beautiful to them, and I can see why they like them. They are very feminine and all, but it really is the thought that counts with them. :)

 

Now, I would probably be more honest with my husband because his level of understanding is different. If he's not thrilled with a CD I surprise him with (which I don't do anymore), I just sell it on amazon. I don't know how your husband responds to things like that -- I don't know how easily his feelings are hurt, so it's hard for me to tell you what to do.

[Mamagistra]

Honestly, I'd display it at least for a while; stuff a bouquet of flowers in it & plonk it on your counter & laugh about it & enjoy it.

 

That's what I'd do. You never know: it may grow on you. :D

[Cindyg]

There is no way I would tell my husband I don't like the gifts!

 

Does your husband notice what jewelry you're wearing? Would he really notice if the necklace and earings don't get worn out of the house? Boy, my husband wouldn't!

 

And if the vase is set on the back of a high shelf (for safe keeping), would he notice? 24 hours later, mine would never think of it again.

 

Nonetheless, he'll always remember your warm appreciation for the gift; and he'll probably also remember the fun he had picking out just the right thing. Don't take that away from him.

Edited December 28, 2008 by Cindyg

[melissel]

There is no way I would tell my husband I don't like the gifts!

 

Does your husband notice what jewelry you're wearing? Would he really notice if the necklace and earings don't get worn out of the house? Boy, my husband wouldn't!

 

And if the vase is set on the back of a high shelf (for safe keeping), would he notice? 24 hours later, mine would never think of it again.

 

Nonetheless, he'll always remember your warm appreciation for the gift; and he'll probably also the fun he had picking out just the right thing. Don't take that away from him.

 

I was thinking the same thing. My own darling DH always manages to get almost--but not quiiiiite--what I was asking for. Somehow, he manages to miss the mark every single time, including this Christmas. I've gotten much better at making a big, excited deal out of things and allowing them to fade off into anonymity later on. Fake it 'til you make it, baby! :lol:

 

Or there's always Melinda's suggestion as well :D

[klmama]

I have a relative that often gives me things like this. I just make a few general comments about her gifts in front of the dc ("My, isn't this colorful/unique/interesting"). When they start telling me how much they like the item and wish they had one, too, I let them have it, as long as they take good care of it. ;) I never say anything to this relative, as it would crush her to know I didn't like it, but she wouldn't mind at all if she found out I gave it to the dc.

 

As far as what to say to your dh, you could thank him for going to the trouble to send the gifts early enough and tell him that you absolutely LOOOOOOVE the pearls. In fact, I would mention that to him several times! I would simply not mention the vase. If he asks, tell him the dc loved it so much you let them have it for their room. Unless you know it wouldn't bother him to know, is there really a good reason to tell him before he returns?

[BamaTanya]

He thought I would love it. I didn't. I was particularly upset that he spent SO much money on something that *I* didn't get to pick out.

 

And then I rethought.

 

Yes, I could have bought tons of stuff I wanted (like books!) with the money he spent, but I decided it really is the thought that counts. I'm not crazy about the wilted weeds my ds brings me from the backyard, but I thank him anyway. You know that look they have when they want you to see something? Dhs have that same feeling in their hearts as little boys, I believe.

 

I wore that necklace from dh everyday for several years. I got lots of compliments on it. It wasn't my style, really (bolder than the jewelry I like), but maybe dh knew what would complement me.

 

It got mislaid the day we went to my mom's funeral. I didn't feel like wearing jewelry that day. One of the dds wanted to dress up, and I told her she could wear it. Dh helped her put it on. We haven't seen it since.

 

Hope we find it someday. It has sentimental value now. :001_smile:

[Miss Marple]

Really bizarre and tacky things make me laugh. I'd put it near a place where I generally get irritated. Then when irritated, look at it and laugh. And I would imagine *what* was going through my dh's head when he purchased it - can you imagine what the other men thought?!?:D

[Kris]

Sweetie used to drive a truck for Goodwill and you would not *believe* some of the stuff he brought home. I mean, stuff that you couldn't figure out why they made it -- let alone *sold* it! -- in the first place!

 

I actually thought he was kidding about some of it when he presented it to me with a huge smile and the look of satisfaction on his face. Then one day we were cleaning out after a move and I asked him if we should throw some of it away. He was totally crushed! "But -- I gave that to *you*!"

 

Whoa -- I'll *never* do that again!

 

It's all still here -- here and there. And I can't say it really bothers me. All those little things are just part of the background now.

 

And yes -- if anyone ever asks about one of his knick knacks, I just say, "Yup! Isn't it kewl?!"

 

Some things are just more important.

 

I know how you feel, though -- I really do. I went through something similar -- and posted here for advice, too -- when he brought home those junkie knives (which are also still here :lol: ).

[Daisy]

I'm not sure what I would do. All I know is I'm dying to see a picture of this vase!! :lol:

[abbeyej]

I'm not sure what I would do. All I know is I'm dying to see a picture of this vase!! :lol:

 

Good point! We need a *picture* or we just can't tell you! ;)

[Mommy22alyns]

Good point! We need a *picture* or we just can't tell you! ;)

 

 

:iagree: Picture! Picture!!

[Haiku]

I should just tell him, huh?

 

No, I don't think you should. I think you should graciously accept his gifts and express your appreciation to him for thinking of you.

 

Find an out-of-the-way place for the tacky item and let that be the end of it.

 

Tara

[Kris]

:iagree: Picture! Picture!!

 

Fer shur. I'll trade you a picture of the vase for a picture of our ceramic octopus. :lol:

[battlemaiden]

Good point! We need a *picture* or we just can't tell you! ;)

 

And what if someone here just absolutely adores this pencil holder/vase/thingy? I would have insulted them on first look.:D

 

Trust me. It just isn't my style.:tongue_smilie:

 

Jo

[abbeyej]

And what if someone here just absolutely adores this pencil holder/vase/thingy? I would have insulted them on first look.:D

 

Trust me. It just isn't my style.:tongue_smilie:

 

Jo

 

Nah.... Show us the picture!!! :)

[melissel]

Nah.... Show us the picture!!! :)

 

:lol:

[Kris]

And what if someone here just absolutely adores this pencil holder/vase/thingy? I would have insulted them on first look.:D

 

Naw -- everyone knows one woman's tacky is another woman's treasure. Otherwise, they wouldn't market most of this stuff in the first place! :D

[melissel]

Naw -- everyone knows one woman's tacky is another woman's treasure. Otherwise, they wouldn't market most of this stuff in the first place! :D

 

And most thrift stores would go RIGHT out of business :001_huh:

[abbeyej]

Nah.... Show us the picture!!! :)

 

And more seriously, perhaps if one of us *does* see something in it that appeals to us, perhaps we could explain in a way that might make it seem *slightly* less hideous to you?

 

Or, alternately, we can all just laugh at how pitifully repulsive it is. ;)

[Daisy]

I just can't sympathize with you without the picture.

 

I know this is the lurk symbol, but really I'm going to get my popcorn cause this is going to be good...

 

:lurk5:

[Nestof3]

I cannot believe I forgot to mention this story when I posted earlier.

 

Years ago, my husband and I were walking through Hechts, and I saw a silver colored dog pin (brooch thing). I pointed to it and said (in what I thought was a sarcastic/silly voice) -- "I've always wanted one of those."

 

I am not a dog person -- everyone knows that. :confused:

 

So, Christmas morning, what do I open up? :w00t: The dog pin -- but given to me by Aaron -- not my husband. They were both beaming so brightly -- so proud of themselves.

 

So, what did I do? Wore it to Christmas dinner, of course. I wore it from time to time until it tarnished. Now I just keep it in my jewelry box as a memento.

[battlemaiden]

I have tried and tried to get this photo attached. No luck.

 

I'm trying to import it from my picture file. Any suggestions?

 

I have to go feed the baby, so it may be a little while before I return.

 

Thanks.

 

Jo

[Liz CA]

how do you handle it?

 

My dh is usually great, but he picked up some gifts in a hurry while in Singapore and although some were great- fresh water pearl necklace and earrings- some were, umm, tacky. I just can't put that bizarre pencil holder, or vase, or whatever, on my counter....ever. He didn't have much time and he was with a group of men, but he went through a lot of effort to buy these things and get them in the mail under difficult circumstances.

 

I should just tell him, huh? I just don't like squashing him from his efforts. I'm blessed that he made the effort at all.

 

Just wondering how you all handle it....

 

Jo

 

I would honor it (perhaps if put in a precarious spot, one of your kids will "take care of it" - as suggested) but considering what that man had to go through to purchase it and then send around half the world - it deserves to be acknowledged. It might grow on you - I have gotten used to similar things when I thought I never could initially. Just grin every time you look at it and remember him.

[melissel]

I have tried and tried to get this photo attached. No luck.

 

I'm trying to import it from my picture file. Any suggestions?

 

I have to go feed the baby, so it may be a little while before I return.

 

Thanks.

 

Jo

 

I seriously can't wait. Jo, if you care to e-mail it to me, I could put it up on my blog temporarily for you.

[Miss Sherry]

This is funny ! :lol: You did ask for it. :lol:

 

 

I cannot believe I forgot to mention this story when I posted earlier.

 

Years ago, my husband and I were walking through Hechts, and I saw a silver colored dog pin (brooch thing). I pointed to it and said (in what I thought was a sarcastic/silly voice) -- "I've always wanted one of those."

 

I am not a dog person -- everyone knows that. :confused:

 

So, Christmas morning, what do I open up? :w00t: The dog pin -- but given to me by Aaron -- not my husband. They were both beaming so brightly -- so proud of themselves.

 

So, what did I do? Wore it to Christmas dinner, of course. I wore it from time to time until it tarnished. Now I just keep it in my jewelry box as a memento.

[Sparkle]

:lurk5:

[Erica in PA]

Honestly, I don't know how a vase or pencil holder could be *that* offensive looking to make a person *hate* it. It may not be your style, but can't there be a couple items in your home that aren't exactly your style? If this is a recurring problem from holiday to holiday, then I might give dh more specific gift ideas, but you've said that usually he gives great gifts! Write this off as a well-intentioned misfire on his part, and hope for something more your style next time.

 

Erica

[Janna]

Here's what I'm wondering. How do you know he was in a hurry and with a bunch of men when he bought it?

 

Do you feel like he *knows* you well enough that even *he* thinks these gifts are kinda "tacky"?

 

It's possible, depending on the situation, that he would be understanding if you were to tell him.

 

"Sweetheart, I really appreciated you buying these things and mailing them in time for Christmas. I know that must have been really difficult for you to do and I know you missed us just as much as we missed you. But...honey? Did you really think I was going to want a pencil holder and vase? I mean...score on the fresh water pearls! But then...a pencil holder? Really? And, darling, come on...did you really think I was going to like this vase? Understand, I really, truly do appreciate all you have done and continue to do and I promise that we will make some awesome TEA together soon. But would it be OK if I gave the vase to the children to play with?"

 

Who knows? He may very well be like, "I know, I know. I knew you wouldn't like the vase, but I was in a hurry and I just wanted to send you stuff from here, you know? Besides, all the guys I was with kept talking about how their wives would just *love* this vase and this pencil holder and I felt like, even though I was pretty sure you would hate it, that maybe, just maybe, they would be right and you'd surprise me and love it. But don't worry about it. I think it's super tacky too. Now let's get back to talking about that TEA you promised me..."

 

I can see that conversation happening here. There's just no way I could pretend to like it and display it even. And my dh would be very understanding - it's all in the tone, wording and...promises (tea). ;)

[sweetbasil]

I would consider the giver, the man I love, and what would be the best, kindest, most loving response... the item is just a thing, but my husband is my husband, and I would never hurt him by telling him I hated/disliked anything he gave me (assuming it wasn't something like a grout brush, in which case, that's fair game).

 

It's a gift from someone who loves me and cherishes me, so I would receive it as such, i.e. graciously and thankfully. But I would choose my words carefully so as not to imply I wanted a collection!!

[Mamagistra]

Fer shur. I'll trade you a picture of the vase for a picture of our ceramic octopus. :lol:

 

:001_huh: Really? How sad is it that I actually think that sounds cool... :001_tt1:

[Lovedtodeath]

I want the picture!!!

[Kris]

:001_huh: Really? How sad is it that I actually think that sounds cool... :001_tt1:

 

I think it's kewl that you think it's cool. :lol:

[melissel]

I think it's kewl that you think it's cool. :lol:

 

Well, Kris, since Jo obviously has her hands full tonight, it looks like you're up! :lurk5: :lol:

Edited December 29, 2008 by melissel

[Lizzie in Ma]

With "Happy" and not Happy Heart". I hated it but wore it every day until it was gone. :)

[melissel]

Here it is, courtesy of Jo, who is a very good sport. Click it if you dare!!!!

 

GASP!

[Renee in NC]

Here it is, courtesy of Jo, who is a very good sport. Click it if you dare!!!!

 

GASP!

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

As someone who got NADA from her dh this year (and last), I would display it where EVERYONE can see it. Who cares how hideous it is!:tongue_smilie:

[Janna]

LOL!! I stick with my original response! LOL!!

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's not that bad. Very ethnic. It just looks like her bottom is a bit on the big side. . .!

[JudoMom]

Here it is, courtesy of Jo, who is a very good sport. Click it if you dare!!!!

 

GASP!

 

It might speak for itself, but the question is:

 

What is it saying?!?!

 

Wow, Jo...that is interesting. I'd have to quiz my dh on what he was thinking when he bought it, because I'd have to know. My dh bought me a jewelry box last year (which isn't my style at all), but once he disclosed his reasoning it made the thought beautiful to me. So I'd try to get that information out of him without hurting his feelings.

 

It is so sweet he went to the trouble. Maybe he's been on the sub so long his sense of style is a bit dampened ;)?

 

:grouphug: to you. I hope you're doing well.

[PrairieAir]

I would put the vase on a desk or something and use it for flowers, but put picture frames in front of it to camoflauge or entirely cover it. It can still serve its purpose. The flowers will be beautiful and the vase doesn't have to be seen. You don't have to say anything or lie. Win, win.

[abbeyej]

I think it's... *remarkable*. :)

 

I'd stick it on a bookshelf somewhere (okay, I don't have those artsy shelves in the catalog photos with few books scattered about an then some select artifacts -- it would have to be in *front* of some of the narrower books on my shelves) and call it "culture". :)

 

Ugly, yeah, but at least it's *interesting*. :)

[Melissa in Australia]

I would use it for a book end. it would look great on a bookshelf.

[PrairieAir]

Here it is, courtesy of Jo, who is a very good sport. Click it if you dare!!!!

 

GASP!

 

Um, wow. I was not prepared for that. That. Is. Unusual. Unique. One. Of. A. Kind. It definitely goes behind a picture frame. Or maybe on the edge of the counter as someone suggested. Does your dh have an odd sense of humor? Is it possible that it's supposed to make you laugh? I can see my dh doing that. If not, I just don't know what to say.:lol: