Need ideas of restful activities for elderly woman

[mum]

My mother has MAC lung infection (like TB but different bacteria) and is in a bad way with coughing, run down, frail, etc. I need some help thinking of things she could do. She must rest for her recovery, there is no pressing on to get better here, but she doesn't DO anything and so she's always restless and fretful.

Some limitations:

Her hands are badly off with arthritis, so stitchery and the like are not possible.

Her cognition is patchy (from age, illness or cognitive impairment we don't know) and so following books is difficult, though she did seem to enjoy some YA fiction when she stayed with me. 

She has zero energy

She is morally opposed to TV (don't even get me started on this one!!)

She's not able to drive and won't/doesn't access rides. She will allow 2 people (her brother and SIL)  to take her places but they aren't available much.

She's starting 18 month treatment for this, which in itself can be grueling. I'd love some ideas of things to help her pass her time more pleasantly. So far I have more YA fiction. That's it. Has anyone had similar experience and gained valuable ideas for such a stage?

Thank you!

[Carol in Cal.]

You know, since you’re already using YA fiction, what about older, longer children’s books, classics?  They are engaging, lengthy, but also fairly easy to follow.  

[fairfarmhand]

Radio dramas? Some of the old ones from the 40s and 50s are available online.

[freesia]

8 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

You know, since you’re already using YA fiction, what about older, longer children’s books, classics?  They are engaging, lengthy, but also fairly easy to follow.  

And if she knows them from childhood, they could be comforting. I’m thinking Secret Garden, Little Princess and Anne of Green Gables. I wonder if any Enid Blyton books are on audio. 

[TechWife]

Audiobooks, perhaps.

[Katy]

Audible has a large selection of longer children’s classics. 

[freesia]

If she has a library card, hoopla or Libby are also choices for audio books. 

[Pawz4me]

If possible, what about putting up a bird feeder? Would she enjoy watching them?

[Beth S]

Hoopla (a common subscription service thru public libraries) has lots of audiobooks available for borrowing.
I was thinking too about having music playing in the background to settle her mind a bit.

There was a recent WTM post about activities for elderly with memory loss:

 

[katilac]

 Get her an Alexa device! 

With voice commands, Alexa can give a weather report, report the news, tell a joke, open an audiobook from Audible. You can also just ask her to tell you a story. 

There are games you can play: trivia of all kinds, choose your adventure, solve mysteries, song quizzes, all kinds of things. You can request a particular game or just say, Alexa, let's play a game, and she'll give you options. 

If she can use a stylus or her finger on a touch screen, that opens another big batch of possibilities. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Audiobooks are well covered.  Also - just listening to music.  Or sermons (if she's into that sort of thing.)

Perhaps one of those digital photo albums that she can look at the changing pictures.

She's opposed to tv but is she opposed to puppy and kitty Youtubes and/or pictures online? (There are specific devices made for the elderly to make things easier for them to use.)  These often also include things like Facetime so that "phone calls" are easier.

Could you or the grandkids "interview" her and have her stories put onto a tape recorder?  You can still find the old fashioned tape recorders and cassettes.  https://www.amazon.com/QFX-RETRO-39-Shoebox-Recorder-Player/dp/B076W2F1GV

 

[Beth S]

Adding:  An Echo Show is a hands-free video screen.  She doesn't have to touch it for someone else to call her.

It's under $100.
We also added photos of everyone, which the screen scrolls thru (or weather, etc, as mentioned above).
It's addicting to watch the photos scroll?!?

 

 

[Grace Hopper]

34 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Radio dramas? Some of the old ones from the 40s and 50s are available online.

I love this idea! I used to fall asleep to these before the internet came along. 
 

What about getting her a device to record her childhood memories? 
 

[*****]

16 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

If possible, what about putting up a bird feeder? Would she enjoy watching them?

Or use a birdcam such as this.  This has a lot of activity:

http://webcams.org.ua/eng-live-live-bird-feeder-cam.html

 

[Innisfree]

What have her interests been in the past?

How’s her eyesight?

Expanding on the bird feeder idea, how about something like Project Feederwatch, or a similar volunteer science program? I’m guessing you and your mother are in the U.K., so I don’t know what exactly would be available. Project Feederwatch is easy, just monitoring which birds come to a feeder area that you choose, for a limited amount of time. If she couldn’t accurately report on the birds, you just wouldn’t submit the results, but she might feel more engaged with the activity if she feels there’s a purpose. 

Maybe she could help identify who’s in old photos, with someone else to write the labels, if necessary.

Record, verbally or in writing, family history, old recipes, history of family heirlooms, information about garden plants.

Record stories for a grandchild or great grandchild: either stories from her life, or stories she reads. Even if there aren’t any kids at the moment, assume another generation is coming.

If her hands can manage, she might enjoy puzzles. 

[73349]

Podcasts? There are podcasts about everything nowadays, and many of them have shorter episodes, so a bit less mentally taxing than a book.

Print magazines on a topic of interest, especially anything that's nice to look at.

[Jean in Newcastle]

11 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

What have her interests been in the past?

How’s her eyesight?

Expanding on the bird feeder idea, how about something like Project Feederwatch, or a similar volunteer science program? I’m guessing you and your mother are in the U.K., so I don’t know what exactly would be available. Project Feederwatch is easy, just monitoring which birds come to a feeder area that you choose, for a limited amount of time. If she couldn’t accurately report on the birds, you just wouldn’t submit the results, but she might feel more engaged with the activity if she feels there’s a purpose. 

Maybe she could help identify who’s in old photos, with someone else to write the labels, if necessary.

Record, verbally or in writing, family history, old recipes, history of family heirlooms, information about garden plants.

Record stories for a grandchild or great grandchild: either stories from her life, or stories she reads. Even if there aren’t any kids at the moment, assume another generation is coming.

If her hands can manage, she might enjoy puzzles. 

Yes. Especially 100 piece puzzles with large pieces. (They don’t have to be babyish). 

[J-rap]

Painting?  I've seen adult paint-by-number books.

[Spryte]

Seconding an Alexa Show! If you have one, too, or even just the app, you can drop in on each other and chat while you make dinner or whatever. 

Can she use her hands at all, for larger work rather than something details like stitching?

If you were to have small, lap-sized boxes of items you need organized, preferably related to something that interests her — that might pass a lot of time and give her a sense of usefulness. I realize it will take some work on your part to make that happen and might not be “real” but could be fulfilling for her. If she loved sewing, then sewing supplies — that sort of thing.

I like writing down recipes, identifying people in photos, etc a lot. Would she?

Painting books, I have given some flower painting books that were beautiful, with penciled sketches to get you started and detailed tips.

Can she hold colored pencils? Those detailed coloring pages can be fantastic. They make some that are for low vision, like large print books, too.

Did she crochet or do yarn work? There’s an $8 loom one can buy to make yarn flowers that might be fun. It uses larger hand motions, and may work if she has some limited use of hands. 

This sounds horrible to me, personally, but folding small clothes can be good. Washcloths, baby clothes. 

My FIL always needed a Big Project. Planning giant family gatherings was his thing, or really anything that needed research and planning. He is the king of printing internet pages and storing them in page protectors in three ring binders. If she likes that, maybe start talking about an event to anticipate, in the future.

[Clemsondana]

Books of short stories?  I've found collections by popular authors from many genres - mystery, westerns, romance, etc.  And I agree on the birdwatching.  My parents are active, but have developed an enjoyment of sitting on their porch watching birds, squirrels, and whatever other critters wander through their yard.  Flowers that attract butterflies are also great.  Would easy to play games like Simon work?  My grandfather used to have a full sized an a pocket version.  He had some physical problems and said it was a way to keep his mind active.  There is a single-player version of qbitz, where you match patterned squares to a picture on a card.  The family version has players competing against each other to be the fastest, but the individual one is just thinking and matching.  Would a digital version (ipad or other device) of solitaire, maj jong, or memory matching games work?  Would a large-print version of a crossword or word search be doable?  

[Starr]

I find with cognition issues people seem to lose the ability to find things to do themselves. They need another person for stimulation and getting things going. There are lots of good ideas here but someone may need to do them with her.

[Grace Hopper]

4 hours ago, Spryte said:

Seconding an Alexa Show! If you have one, too, or even just the app, you can drop in on each other and chat while you make dinner or whatever. 

Can she use her hands at all, for larger work rather than something details like stitching?

If you were to have small, lap-sized boxes of items you need organized, preferably related to something that interests her — that might pass a lot of time and give her a sense of usefulness. I realize it will take some work on your part to make that happen and might not be “real” but could be fulfilling for her. If she loved sewing, then sewing supplies — that sort of thing.

I like writing down recipes, identifying people in photos, etc a lot. Would she?

Painting books, I have given some flower painting books that were beautiful, with penciled sketches to get you started and detailed tips.

Can she hold colored pencils? Those detailed coloring pages can be fantastic. They make some that are for low vision, like large print books, too.

Did she crochet or do yarn work? There’s an $8 loom one can buy to make yarn flowers that might be fun. It uses larger hand motions, and may work if she has some limited use of hands. 

This sounds horrible to me, personally, but folding small clothes can be good. Washcloths, baby clothes. 

My FIL always needed a Big Project. Planning giant family gatherings was his thing, or really anything that needed research and planning. He is the king of printing internet pages and storing them in page protectors in three ring binders. If she likes that, maybe start talking about an event to anticipate, in the future.

Would you please post a link to the flower painting books you mentioned? This is a lovely idea and I think I might be interested for a friend.

[Spryte]

2 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:

Would you please post a link to the flower painting books you mentioned? This is a lovely idea and I think I might be interested for a friend.

Of course!

 https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/flowers-the-watercolor-art-pad_rachel-pedder-smith/14205468/item/45043597/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=low_vol_f%2fm%2fs_standard_shopping_customer_aquisition&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=603452145786&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1fGY1bOF_wIVvi7UAR2WDQl1EAQYAiABEgLZZvD_BwE#idiq=45043597&edition=15102422
 

I bought it at Zulily, but it’s probably on Amazon, too. 

 

Edited May 21, 2023 by Spryte

[Melissa in Australia]

Candy crush

My son in law fixes computers. He tells me that the number 1 activity all the elderly women's computers he fixes is playing candy crush. They are always desperate to get their computers working again to go back to playing 

He tells me that Elderly men however prefer solotair

 

[Eos]

Art history flashcards, not to memorize but just for perusing.

Buy a load of costume jewelry from Goodwill or swap meets and put it all in a box, ask her to separate them into smaller boxes to give to charities eg bracelets, brooches, etc.

Get a bag of soft dyed fleece and a wool felt board, she can lay out different colors without having to do fine hand work.    https://achildsdream.com/organic-fairy-wool/  https://www.etsy.com/listing/527520896/felt-board-10x10-or-11x14-choose-your?   https://orthodoxpebbles.com/backdrop-scene-set/

 

 

Edited May 21, 2023 by Eos

[KSera]

Does she like pets? Do you? A lap dog or cat can be very comforting, but of course only works if you already have one or would want to commit to one for the rest of its life (many shelters have a senior to senior program where they adopt senior animals to seniors for no fee). 

[mum]

Thank you all. Some great ideas and I also had a few of my own while I read the replies.

[vonfirmath]

Would she be able to do loom knitting? The loom does a lot of the holding and makes it much easier to put down/pick back up.

 

[dsmith]

Is she able to do large print word search puzzles? I buy them all the time for my mil and elderly neighbor, and Amazon has some really nice ones. Mil has really bad arthritis in her hands and neighbor has poor vision. The two of them sit in the dining room every day for over an hour doing them. They also play Yahtzee - they make larger dice, and I scanned and enlarged a score sheet that I can print out for them. I've even seen a dry erase one that was a decent size. They play this most nights.