"Reduction" surgery for teen

[popmom]

My 17 year old is quite self conscious. She is a very healthy weight (size 4/6). We tried on bridesmaid dresses recently, and it was honestly quite shocking to me. She kept her arms wrapped around her chest the whole time. 😞  I mean, I knew what size bra she wears, but she wears a minimizer normally and does not wear body conscious clothing. She likes hoodies. Last night she tried on new pajamas I got her. Same thing. She kept her arms wrapped around her chest the whole time. 

She also slumps a lot which is not good. I know that is partly because of her chest. I worry about issues down the road from her poor posture. I'm not sure she knows surgery is even an option. She probably does. I think she mentioned it once?? Should I bring it up? Would that be really bad? I surely don't want to make her feel worse about it. 

[Rosie_0801]

Is this a structural issue, as in her books are too heavy for her frame? Or is this an emotional issue, as in her books draw attention she doesn't know how to deal with?

[popmom]

4 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Is this a structural issue, as in her books are too heavy for her frame? Or is this an emotional issue, as in her books draw attention she doesn't know how to deal with?

I would say both. She doesn't draw much attention though because she wears baggy tops all the time. If she wore what a lot of girls her age wear, she'd get stared at constantly--I'm sure of that. 

I'm not sure how I can put this politely. In that formal dress with spaghetti straps--she looked like she had very unnaturally large implants (with her good supportive bra on). Her band size is 34. She ended up choosing a dress style with a high neck--good coverage.

Edited February 14, 2023 by popmom

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

My cousin had reduction surgery at 17.  She was short, 4’10”, and her books were past a DDD.  She was still large for her frame after the surgery but clothes fit better and it resolved the back problems she was having.

Its been 20 years now, she just had a baby and was able to nurse, and there have been no complications. She’s really glad she had it done.

[popmom]

1 minute ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

My cousin had reduction surgery at 17.  She was short, 4’10”, and her books were past a DDD.  She was still large for her frame after the surgery but clothes fit better and it resolved the back problems she was having.

Its been 20 years now, she just had a baby and was able to nurse, and there have been no complications. She’s really glad she had it done.

that's good to hear. Thanks for sharing that. My dd is 5' 6", so that helps balance things out a bit. 

[Eos]

Listening.

[Grace Hopper]

7 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Is this a structural issue, as in her books are too heavy for her frame? Or is this an emotional issue, as in her books draw attention she doesn't know how to deal with?

For the two young women I knew who experienced this and had reductions, both issues were involved. 
 

One of my college classmates had reduction surgery from very large to a 36C. One of my dds has a classmate that had it done at age 18. Both said it was the best decision they ever made. 
 

 

[Eos]

5 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

For the two young women I knew who experienced this and had reductions, both issues were involved. 
 

One of my college classmates had reduction surgery from very large to a 36C. One of my dds has a classmate that had it done at age 18. Both said it was the best decision they ever made. 
 

 

I've read that it's the surgery with the highest level of patient satisfaction.

[Grace Hopper]

1 minute ago, Eos said:

I've read that it's the surgery with the highest level of patient satisfaction.

Well, it seems to have physical and emotional and social benefits - quite a trifecta!

[Rosie_0801]

It sounds like surgery would solve problems and cause none. I can't see how having more problems than one needs to is a positive!

[gardenmom5]

Ok - I was a busty teen, and self-conscious. I was even sexually harassed because of it. (by both males and females.)

I have a lot of concerns of reduction surgery in someone who is still growing.

there are different ways to do reduction - does she want to be able to breastfeed? - there are some types of reduction surgery that will prevent that from ever happening.

my sister was having back pain, so she did get a reduction - after she had her kids.

muscle strengthening exercises can help.  back muscles - chest muscles, etc.

Edited February 14, 2023 by gardenmom5

[kbutton]

I think how you approach it could be tricky if she's the type to feel criticized easily, but if she's not, I don't see a downside unless she's phobic about medical procedures (raising my hand on that one!).

A college acquaintance had it done, over the summer, IIRC. She was pleased--she wasn't extremely oversized for her frame, but she was definitely larger than expected. She was sporty, and it seems like she was having back pain and feeling like her size inhibited things for her athletically.

I think I've heard only good stories.

I would want to know if her age/growth status matters, and I would want to go someplace that is really informative to have it done. No surprises wanted!

If it's something where it's recommended to wait due to expected growth, etc. I would definitely suggest a PT evaluation for comfort and functionality in the meantime.

[Guest]

I am another who has never heard of regret for this surgery. 

[Katy]

I would just say, “I noticed you’re crossing your arms over your chest lately. And I remember you brought up a breast reduction that time. Is that something you want to learn about?”

[Arcadia]

A friend who is about your daughter’s height had reduction done to a C when in college. She was done growing and she had horrible back pains. Also she was slouching which makes her feel unattractive. Her parents don’t want the responsibility of the surgery on them so she waited until legal age (21 where I am from).

[Grace Hopper]

12 minutes ago, Katy said:

I would just say, “I noticed you’re crossing your arms over your chest lately. And I remember you brought up a breast reduction that time. Is that something you want to learn about?”

This is a great way to phrase it. 
 

I remember when the Gardasil vax was new. I think my oldest was about 12? Anyway, after assurances from the doctor that she could wait a bit, later in her teens I tasked her with research and left the decision up to her. This is the approach I took with all my daughters. Definitely get your dd involved in the info gathering part of this. You can steer by helping her assess the value of the sources. 

[Ottakee]

My daughter had it done at 22.  No regrets at all.

[popmom]

Thank you, all! This is so helpful.

[Catwoman]

Honestly, I would be more concerned with working on her body image than I would be with offering the option of breast reduction surgery. 

Two of my friends wanted breast reduction surgery as teens, but either their parents wouldn't allow it or their doctors required that they be older (I can't remember the reasoning any more,) so they didn't have it done, and both ended up being very happy that it hadn't been allowed, because as they got a little older, they were proud of their bodies exactly as they were. 

Unless there is a legitimate physical need for that kind of surgery (like severe back problems or something along those lines,) I would want my child's brain to be more mature before making such a body-altering decision as breast reduction surgery.

Rather than opting for surgery, maybe you might consider asking your dd if she might want some counseling to help her work on her self-confidence (assuming that she is truly self-conscious about her breast size and doesn't just have poor posture.) Also, could she be trying to de-emphasize her figure simply because she's shy and doesn't want to be noticed? That might not have anything specifically to do with her breast size, especially if she also avoids wearing clothing that emphasizes other parts of her body, like her legs or her butt. If it's a general body image issue, I'm not sure reduction surgery is a way to solve that.

I'm not saying she might not want reduction surgery in the future. I'm just suggesting that you might want to explore other avenues until she gets old enough to make a mature decision about it, particularly because this doesn't seem like surgery is something she already has her heart set on. Also, it sounds like she has an amazing body and she might really grow to appreciate it as she gets older and hopefully becomes more self-assured.

 

 

Edited February 14, 2023 by Catwoman
I am the Typo Queen

[crazyforlatin]

Would insurance cover this procedure? 

[Eos]

6 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

Would insurance cover this procedure? 

A friend who had it done recently said yes, some doctors need to know you have backaches, headaches, etc. but her doc said "I can tell from looking at you that this is a problem for you" and didn't need any other proof, so her insurance covered it as billed.

[Ausmumof3]

I’ll be the dissenter in the group. If she is having functional problems, I’d consider it but I’m not a fan of using surgery to fix body image issues in teens in general. Even those of us with relatively “normal” bodies (yeah I know that’s not a thing) are self conscious at that age. If she’s still of them same mind as an adult I’d be supportive of whatever decision she makes. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I really don't think this is a good idea.  I think she is too young to undergo elective surgery on healthy body parts.  Consent is very tricky at this age, and it would be awful if she thought that you pushed her into something irrevocable.  Furthermore, I think it would be a great mistake to bring it up because if you do so she will probably conclude that you think there is something wrong with her, whether she has the surgery or not.  

It sounds to me like you have the very best of intentions but I don't think she will necessarily see it that way.  And if she ends up not being able to breastfeed well, which is sometimes that case after reduction surgery, that's quite a loss.

[katilac]

It's a commonly-known surgery, so I'd be very reluctant to bring it up. 

And, if she's 17, that's not a long time to wait until she's 18 and it can be more fully her own decision. 

My kids both grew a small amount in height during college, plus had various body shifts, so I think waiting till early 20s is best if possible. So, I'd discuss if she brought it up, but I wouldn't bring it up myself.

 

 

[Eos]

8 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I’ll be the dissenter in the group. If she is having functional problems, I’d consider it but I’m not a fan of using surgery to fix body image issues in teens in general. Even those of us with relatively “normal” bodies (yeah I know that’s not a thing) are self conscious at that age. If she’s still of them same mind as an adult I’d be supportive of whatever decision she makes. 

I can understand this, but unless you've got this issue, you can't know.  My friend who did it (who was always hilarious about her enormous size and seemed so comfortable with it always) said until the doctor asked her how did she feel about her size that she said she burst into tears because it had been such a burden and nobody had ever understood enough to ask and listen.  My friend is a very happy woman and had just always kept this close to her chest (couldn't resist the pun.)  She says her only regret is not doing it 25 years ago. 

I agree with the poster who says wait til 18, from an informed choice perspective.  But if body image issues were something we could change at will, the culture would sure look different.  At these sizes, the physical problems are very real and can cause other related issues.

[Corbster98]

I had the surgery the summer before my senior year so I was able to keep it somewhat concealed. People knew ‘something’ seemed different but couldn’t pinpoint it exactly after school started back in the fall. 

No regrets at all. Did make breastfeeding a little more challenging ( on one side) once I had children but that was the only real negative. Recovery was rough but not sure how surgery is done today (almost 30 years later) so that may be a different experience now.

My surgery was covered by insurance too. 

Feel free to message me for details. This is all I am comfortable posting on the internet. 

[Arcadia]

My friend told me she felt like she was constantly carrying 8kg (approx 16.6lbs) of watermelon on her. She ended up using braces (postural support) to help slightly reduce her back pain in the interim. 

[Terabith]

Doctors started suggesting reduction surgery to me when I was, I think, 12?  I had precocious puberty, and at one point I was like a 32 K.  I waited until I was like 35 because I wanted to be done with having kids because nursing was important to me.  But it did cause significant structural damage to my back/ shoulders that is permanent, and I was very self conscious my entire life.  When I had my surgery, they removed eleven pounds of tissue, and I'm still a DD.  (I wanted to be more like a C, but the plastic surgeon was into aesthetics and liked bigger books.  Sigh.)

It can be life changing.  I would definitely talk to her about it.  

[Terabith]

There is zero percent chance I would have been able to nurse after my surgery.  It was covered by insurance pretty much completely.  Recovery was easy.  

[Terabith]

I will say that I have permanent, physical damage that could have been prevented by surgery.  I'm not saying I regret waiting, because nursing was very important to me, but I really would not hesitate to have a teen do it if they wanted it.  There is a possibility of more book growth, maybe?  So I'd want that to be stable first.  

[Eos]

I know two other women who were able to nurse after theirs (my close friend was done nursing when she had hers done.)  Not a scientific sample size, but it does seem like it makes it more challenging purely based on anecdata.

[popmom]

I appreciate all opinions on this. It's not like I was planning to pounce on her right away about it. I'm still not sure I'll bring it up at all. If the topic ever does come up, I feel better about how to approach the topic from reading all the responses here.

From what little I have read on the subject, most women are able to breastfeed afterward. 

My main concern at this point is potential permanent damage like Terabith mentioned. I just remember how uncomfortable I was during those years of bf'ing. I did have back pain, and chest wall inflammation that could be extremely painful at times. She doesn't have any pain yet--that I know of, so she has time.

Edited February 15, 2023 by popmom

[Terabith]

20 minutes ago, Eos said:

I know two other women who were able to nurse after theirs (my close friend was done nursing when she had hers done.)  Not a scientific sample size, but it does seem like it makes it more challenging purely based on anecdata.

It depends on the type of surgery that is done.  If they remove a relatively modest amount of tissue, then nursing ability might be impaired but still possible.  If they remove a lot of tissue, and have to regraft the n*pple, then it's not possible.  Milk duct work is severed.  

Also, I didn't have pain at the time.  There was damage that was seen on an x-ray for an incidental issue.  I have pain now, that is traced to that injury, but damage can be done without there being pain at the time.  

I'm in no way pushing the surgery.  I'm glad I didn't have it done at 12 or 17 or 22.  But there are real risks and consequences to doing nothing, too.  

Edited February 15, 2023 by Terabith

[popmom]

2 hours ago, Terabith said:

 

Also, I didn't have pain at the time.  There was damage that was seen on an x-ray for an incidental issue.  I have pain now, that is traced to that injury, but damage can be done without there being pain at the time.  

I'm in no way pushing the surgery.  I'm glad I didn't have it done at 12 or 17 or 22.  But there are real risks and consequences to doing nothing, too.  

I really appreciate your perspective. I will absolutely keep this in mind.

[crazyforlatin]

What type of doctor would a patient go to for the consultation? Plastic surgeon? 

[popmom]

27 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

What type of doctor would a patient go to for the consultation? Plastic surgeon? 

Yes. You would want to find someone who specializes in breast surgery. Or at least someone who does a lot of those procedures.

[SKL]

I wouldn't bring up surgery.  If she brings it up, I'd agree that it's an option for people who want to change that about themselves.

I would take her to a store that specializes in good bras and make sure she has bras that fit her well and comfortably.

[matrips]

14 hours ago, popmom said:

I appreciate all opinions on this. It's not like I was planning to pounce on her right away about it. I'm still not sure I'll bring it up at all. If the topic ever does come up, I feel better about how to approach the topic from reading all the responses here.

From what little I have read on the subject, most women are able to breastfeed afterward. 

My main concern at this point is potential permanent damage like Terabith mentioned. I just remember how uncomfortable I was during those years of bf'ing. I did have back pain, and chest wall inflammation that could be extremely painful at times. She doesn't have any pain yet--that I know of, so she has time.

You know your dd best, but with mine I would say something as poster above suggested.  I noticed you crossing your arms and remembered you once asked about reduction.  If you’re interested in learning more, or talking to a doctor, let me know.  I say this because with my dd- sometimes if she says something once and doesn’t get a reaction or followthrough or whatever, she assumes it’s not allowed or a No and won’t ask again.  Drives me nuts.  Because she’ll assume she asked when all she may have done was mention it in an off hand way.

[zimom]

My DD just had her consult.   Hers is not enough to be covered by insurance but it is warranted in her case.   Insurance will cover it in many cases if there is x amount to be removed.  I never brought it up to my daughter but I could tell it was an issue, especially when she gained some weight during some pretty significant mental health issues.  She has lost the weight as her health has improved but her books are interfering with her much-loved sports and clothing and she asked so I took her for a consult.   She is almost 20 and understands the risks.   

[Eos]

5 hours ago, crazyforlatin said:

What type of doctor would a patient go to for the consultation? Plastic surgeon? 

My friend needed her plastic surgeon to be female, and found one who specializes in reduction surgery a couple hours drive away.

[Katy]

I’ve always planned on having one at about this age, when I was done having kids. I guess the only reason I haven’t yet is the pandemic pushed back a ton of medical things. 

[KSera]

6 hours ago, matrips said:

I say this because with my dd- sometimes if she says something once and doesn’t get a reaction or followthrough or whatever, she assumes it’s not allowed or a No and won’t ask again.  Drives me nuts.  Because she’ll assume she asked when all she may have done was mention it in an off hand way.

So much this. I literally just finished a discussion with one of my dd’s like this. She expressed sadness that she hadn’t been allowed to do xyz, and I was like, “What? Of course you’re allowed, I didn’t know you wanted to.” And she said she mentioned it several months ago and nothing ever happened so she thought she wasn’t allowed to 🤦‍♀️. So now we’re planning xyz lol. 

[popmom]

12 hours ago, matrips said:

You know your dd best, but with mine I would say something as poster above suggested.  I noticed you crossing your arms and remembered you once asked about reduction.  If you’re interested in learning more, or talking to a doctor, let me know.  I say this because with my dd- sometimes if she says something once and doesn’t get a reaction or followthrough or whatever, she assumes it’s not allowed or a No and won’t ask again.  Drives me nuts.  Because she’ll assume she asked when all she may have done was mention it in an off hand way.

 

5 hours ago, KSera said:

So much this. I literally just finished a discussion with one of my dd’s like this. She expressed sadness that she hadn’t been allowed to do xyz, and I was like, “What? Of course you’re allowed, I didn’t know you wanted to.” And she said she mentioned it several months ago and nothing ever happened so she thought she wasn’t allowed to 🤦‍♀️. So now we’re planning xyz lol. 

I can definitely identify with this! I have 4 daughters. Some teens won't tell you things that are on their mind at all. And 10 years later I'll hear about/ find out about something that I really wish I had known they were struggling with at the time. So yeah...now I know I can't just assume things--anything. I have to be very intentional about asking good questions and making safe spaces to discuss.

[mom31257]

As a person who had a friend die in elective surgery at 23 years old, I think surgery is something that should only be done if it is absolutely needed. 

[Erasmia54]

Try to support your daughter in any way you can. If she has mentioned surgery as an option, it's possible that she is already aware of it and has considered it. However, it's important to remember that surgery should be a personal decision that she makes for herself. Besides, it should be done by reliable specialists, such as those from visageclinic.com. You could try having a conversation with your daughter about how she feels about her body. You could also suggest activities that promote good posture, like yoga or pilates. I hope I helped!