What is the right thing to do in this situation?

[Tap]

15 minutes ago, katilac said:

This kind of parent who goes off to work before a small child leaves 

I don't know how you meant this, but it comes off as very judgemental. Lots of people have to leave for work before their child gets on the bus, and lots of people don't have the luxury of their 9-yr-old owning a cell phone. Trusted Neighbor just might not have been home that day, or kid might have been uncertain about how much time had passed, and unsure of what to do (maybe the bus is just late, and if I walk down to Trusted Neighbor's, it might come right then and I'll miss it). Maybe he has a key but he forgot to put it back into his bag the day before. Maybe he lost his key, and it seemd all right to wait a day before replacing it, bc someone planned to be home that afternoon to let him in. This kind of parent might have all kinds of things going on that you aren't aware of in the slightest. 

You would call the police before you called the school?? 

Yeah, these slacker parents without backup plans, we have no idea what happened but surely there's no possible way something just went awry or that their backup plan fell through, let's call the police to give them a kick in the pants. Because I'm just super-confident that would never result in an unknown amount of trouble for the family or trauma for the kid. 

Y'all harsh. 

Maybe we have different experiences with police than you do???? The police here and in our old city were friendly and helpful. If a parent was a repeat offender of this type of thing, they may get a bit sterner with a family, but otherwise, they just want everyone to be safe. Calling the police is to get the child help, and to make sure the parent knows what happened, so it doesn't happen again. Not to punish anyone. I have experience with the criminal justice system with police too, and even those officers would rather help a family, than cause undo drama. 

Yes, I would call the police before the school, because the bussing company doesn't work for the school here. I would notify the school so incase the parent called, they could tell the parent, but she already said that the sister couldn't get ahold of them.  Bus companies here are private employers, and someone from out of the school, wouldn't likely now which bus company to call.  Besides....hat is the school going to do???? They can't transport in private cars or send a bus back out.  The child isn't on their grounds. They can't give out parent contact information. All they can do is try to reach the parent and then go back and forth trying to coordinate us talking. If they can't reach them, it just wastes more time.   And honestly, it isn't the school's problem to solve.  (I used to work for the school district).  The parent left him on his own and he missed the bus, or the bus didn't show up. That is between the parent and the bussing company. The school is a mandated reporter just like the police are. If they felt that there was something askew with the situation, the school would have the same duty to report as the police. 

My daughter's SN doesn't show up sometimes, so I do know it happens. Kids miss busses. Busses miss kids.  The parent should 100% have a plan in place. If the parent is confident in the child being left home alone to wait for the bus, then there has to be a contingency plan in place. That is part of leaving a kid alone! Maybe

My son was once dropped off at the wrong stop, his first week of living in a new neighborhood in 1st grade. The substitute bus driver insisted he get off the bus, because they thought he belonged at one stop, when his stop actually hadn't come up yet. He tried to explain to the driver that it was wrong, but the diver insisted he get off. He sat on the curb trying to decide what to do (not upset, just thinking), and a neighbor recognized him belonging to a few streets over and helped him call us. The backup plan we had in place wasn't useful, because he wasn't let off at our house!  But, if the neighbor hadn't found him, then I wouldn't have minded the police keeping my son safe and getting him to us. It was a good reminder for us, to make sure our kids got introduced to new neighborhood layouts as soon as we moved in! We were home, we had just started to go look for him, when he was reconnected to us.

 

[Murphy101]

I find it very unlikely that a 8-9 year old NT child does not know his parent’s cellphone number. Heck, half the 8 year olds in my area have their own cellphone. 

I would text his parent at work first explaining who I am (because LOTS of people won’t answer a number they don’t know) and then call and just be very understanding and friendly that hey, fellow mom here and what would she like me to do - nothing? Take to school? Call someone else?

I would not have him get in my car unless there was some kind of imminent danger like severe weather or he was being beaten up or idk what all actual danger happening.   All my training for kids has drilled to infinity to never be alone if it’s ever possible to avoid it to avoid even the risk of accusations and to train children on proper adult behavior. 

[HomeAgain]

Many of us are more than aware of police statistics and the lack of accountability.  We're also more than aware of rampant abuse in systems that answer only to themselves.  If necessary, there's the final wrap up this week of a five-year-long story of a woman who called the cops because her 7yo was choked by a neighbor kid.  The cops who arrived brushed that aside, arrested the mother and sisters, and fabricated their own events.  It took 5 YEARS for that family to get some sort of justice and a ton of emotional scarring because they dared to call the police.  There are cops who arrest 5yos for leaving school.  8yos for having a tantrum.  No, it's not a happy, Mayberry scenario in all towns.  It's a lottery chance that you get the appropriate response, and it's not one I would trust at all without filming the interactions myself.

Not calling the police for a matter that could be escalated exponentially in their care is a responsible decision.  There's a slim chance I'd place my trust in a random officer who may or may not have several complaints against them or could be trusted to do the right thing, which in this case would be to get the child to school, notify the parents, and find out where the breakdown was. 

And also, not all 8-9yos know their parent's number reliably. But it's a good starting point to ask the kid if they do know it, though.  By the time my oldest was that age, he had had to memorize 6 different phone numbers and addresses.  He kept a card with him whenever we moved with work personal numbers,  And I'll be darned if I'm going to give a single-digit kid a phone.  Most kids here get them at around age 11 or 12.

[pinball]

10 hours ago, mom31257 said:

I would have called the school for advice. 

We had a situation in our previous neighborhood where a 4 year old was being let off the bus but locked out of the house and couldn't get in because his middle school aged brother didn't come home for 30 more minutes. I let the child in the house a few times when it first started happening so he could wait on his brother. Another neighbor and I finally decided to call the school and report it when it kept happening. It turns out the bus driver wasn't even supposed to leave the 4 year old until they say him go inside his house. So lots of failure all around. 

The mom got him into an afterschool program at the school.  

Why didn’t you knock on the family’s door the evening of the first time it happened? 
 

and say…”Kevin was in the driveway alone so I invited him in until Buzz got home. I wanted to let you know.”

“Call the school and report it” seems like skipping a major step, like talking to the parents. LOL

 

 

[mom31257]

6 minutes ago, pinball said:

Why didn’t you knock on the family’s door the evening of the first time it happened? 
 

and say…”Kevin was in the driveway alone so I invited him in until Buzz got home. I wanted to let you know.”

“Call the school and report it” seems like skipping a major step, like talking to the parents. LOL

 

 

The other neighbor did talk to the mom, and it kept happening. I didn't because she had been difficult to deal with in another situation. 

[Scarlett]

I suspect that a mom who is put in the position of needing to let her young child catch the bus alone is likely to be in a neighborhood where getting the police involved would be a pretty big gamble.  And even if she has not had the police called on her why be the first to do it? 
 

And also a mom who is juggling an impossible set of circumstances is highly unlikely to scream kidnapping on a another mom who helped her child.

 

[Murphy101]

57 minutes ago, pinball said:

Why didn’t you knock on the family’s door the evening of the first time it happened? 
 

and say…”Kevin was in the driveway alone so I invited him in until Buzz got home. I wanted to let you know.”

“Call the school and report it” seems like skipping a major step, like talking to the parents. LOL

 

 

Depends.  I think if someone doesn’t feel they are comfortable dealing directly with a neighbor they are going to have to live near - that might not be an all bad instinct because it’s a reality that God is good but people are crazy.

[BlsdMama]

I’ve just got to ask, to those who think transporting is the answer, don’t any of you teach or volunteer in an official capacity? I agree to never be the only adult with a child that is not my own without another adult. Two deep leadership is mandated in my volunteer circle. As another teacher said, she isn’t legally allowed to transport. Picking up a kid off the street and transporting isn’t on the list of possibilities and my shock comes from that the possibility is on anyone’s list in 2022. 
If it’s my kids? Call the school. Call the cops. Don’t put my child in your car, one on one, and say, “I was just…” Helping? No. Every adult should know you don’t reason through with a small child to end up with the child crawling into a stranger’s car! It is not okay to set that precedent! 
 

In this scenario, no one could reach the school so that option wasn’t skipped. That was the first option. It didn’t work. So next option: transport or call an authority figure. I agree calling mom should have been step 1. But what mom answers, “Oh, you’re a complete stranger chatting with my baby and you’d like to drive him to school? Absolutely! Your voice sounds very trustworthy.”
 

[pinball]

11 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

Depends.  I think if someone doesn’t feel they are comfortable dealing directly with a neighbor they are going to have to live near - that might not be an all bad instinct because it’s a reality that God is good but people are crazy.

Because nothing improves neighborly relations like “reporting” them before talking to them 

[73349]

10 hours ago, katilac said:

It actually is not.

That depends on what state it happened in.

In my state, I think it would be prosecutable as felonious restraint--although with a clearly benign intent, it probably wouldn't lead to charges.

[vonfirmath]

3 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I find it very unlikely that a 8-9 year old NT child does not know his parent’s cellphone number. Heck, half the 8 year olds in my area have their own cellphone. 

I would text his parent at work first explaining who I am (because LOTS of people won’t answer a number they don’t know) and then call and just be very understanding and friendly that hey, fellow mom here and what would she like me to do - nothing? Take to school? Call someone else?

I would not have him get in my car unless there was some kind of imminent danger like severe weather or he was being beaten up or idk what all actual danger happening.   All my training for kids has drilled to infinity to never be alone if it’s ever possible to avoid it to avoid even the risk of accusations and to train children on proper adult behavior. 

Yes.

One of the first things I did with sending my K students off to school was have them memorize a phone number so they could get a hold of us. We drilled it until they knew it every time we asked. And then slacked off asking but reinforced over time. So the best explanation I could give to a 8-9 year old child (3rd-4th grade) not knowing the number would be that they had recently moved and thus not had a chance to memorize the number

 

Note though: I work in a metal building. So my phone does not consistently ring :( My children now have a second number to call me as well. But in K -- one number was doing good.

It does not address kids being picked up -- but here bus drivers cannot let a elementary age child off the bus without an adult there to pick them up.

We have had plenty of experiences though with the bus being late (esp the elementary school bus since it is the first bus of the day) to the point where when my kids were going to be getting on the bus after we left for work, we made sure they had a phone to reach us if something happened with the bus.

[HomeAgain]

I think this thread has lost sight of the fact that interactions like these are personal, There's an amount of judgement of best practice  based on the kid, the surroundings, and the general vibe of the situation.

[marbel]

34 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

n this scenario, no one could reach the school so that option wasn’t skipped. That was the first option. It didn’t work. So next option: transport or call an authority figure. I agree calling mom should have been step 1. But what mom answers, “Oh, you’re a complete stranger chatting with my baby and you’d like to drive him to school? Absolutely! Your voice sounds very trustworthy.”
 

I'm thinking - what if I was the mom who got the call from the stranger? I'd probably be in a panic to get to my kid. I might call any relative who lived close by who could get to my house quickly. Or I'd call the cops and ask them to watch over my kid till I got there.  Because, sure, almost certainly if a person has evil intent they are not calling the parent. But I still don't want my kid in that person's car.  

I am having a hard time with the notion that the school did not answer the phone after multiple calls? I mean, I don't think anyone is lying here, but that seems a bit outrageous that the school can't be reached. 

[skimomma]

I would likely drive/walk the kid to school.  I can see from previous posts why that might be a bad idea, but I'm guessing I would not have thought of that and just gotten the job done.  Calling the police or even the school would not even occur to me.  But again, this is *in my area.*  While I don't know most of my neighbors personally, we do tend to look out for each other. My own child was approached and helped by neighbor/strangers and I have done the same.  I have put bandaids on cuts, helped retrieve balls from behind fences, put air in a bike tire, and walked a lost toddler around until I found their house with no second thoughts.  

I was also the kid that was in this situation so many times that I cannot even imagine what would have happened if someone called the police every time.  I did get on the bus after my parents left for work, starting at age 8.  I did come home to an empty house at the same age and sometimes I even forgot my key and ended up sipping hot cocoa at some neighbor's kitchen table for a half hour until my mom came home.  If I missed the bus, in either direction, it was up to me to ask a classmate's parent or whoever was available to give me a ride.  I once was even driven home by the principal!  And most of the neighbors were all in the same boat.  My mom drove neighbor kids to school that had missed the bus after their parents had left for work.  No one even thought to mention it to the parents.  

Not that I don't understand that times and standards have changed.  I would not leave a kid to wait for a bus alone at that age now.  If I didn't have to anyway......  But I am also privileged enough to never have to resort to that.  And I certainly would not judge someone who did.  I guess after reading this all, I would pause before driving the kid.  I would probably try calling the school or trying to figure out how to contact a parent.  But that would not have been my first instinct if coming across the situation cold.  And it makes me sad that it has come to this.

[SKL]

I think I'd call the mom and offer to drive the kid.  If the kid didn't know his mom's phone number, I'd call the school.

The parent needs to review with her child what he needs to do if this sort of thing happens.  There needs to be a safe neighbor or two that he can go to in a problem situation, and/or he needs a key or other way into the house so he can call or message his parent.  Or if he lives close enough to a business, he could walk there and ask to use their phone.

But, it's very possible that the bus was that late.  I've heard of similar situations nowadays.  So maybe there is nothing strange about a kid sitting waiting for the bus at 9:30.

[SKL]

18 hours ago, Tap said:

I would have called the police and waited with him till they got there. I would have never put a strangers child in my car unless there was a dire emergency. This did not justify that. The parent needs a back up plan (((!!!!!!)))))….and maybe a visit from the police is what they need to get one in place.

??? there is no indication of either a crime or serious danger to the child.  He just needed a way to get to school.

[Forget-Me-Not]

4 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I find it very unlikely that a 8-9 year old NT child does not know his parent’s cellphone number.

I would have thought so too, but I volunteered frequently in our school office last year.  It is a K-12 charter and we had secondary-age kids that would come in to call parents and not know their phone number.  It astounded me.  

[Forget-Me-Not]

1 hour ago, marbel said:

I am having a hard time with the notion that the school did not answer the phone after multiple calls? I mean, I don't think anyone is lying here, but that seems a bit outrageous that the school can't be reached. 

IME, it's not that unusual if it's early in the day.  Secretaries are dealing with tardies and late walk-ins, multiple phone calls for sick calls, lunch orders, etc.  When I volunteered in the school office last year, we often had to let calls go to voicemail because we were dealing with other calls or people at the window. Still, you'd think after multiple calls someone would answer the phone eventually.  

[SKL]

I also don't think there is anything wrong with letting the child sit there and wait alone, provided a bus is in fact coming.  I wouldn't stay and wait with such a big child.  That would annoy me as a child or as a parent.

I tend to agree with not putting the kid in my car without parental permission though.  Mainly because it undermines what we hopefully tell our kids - don't get in any car without a parent's prior permission.  Unless it was a much more serious situation and I couldn't contact the mom, I'd have let him wait alone or suggested he take a short walk to a safer place.

[SKL]

This thread is making me feel all the more for working parents who have these late bus issues.  Not everyone has a flexible enough job that they can just hang out at home wondering when the bus is going to come, especially when it's happening regularly.  Not only that, but kids are missing hours of instruction time.  I hope the schools figure out solutions soon!

[HomeAgain]

4 minutes ago, SKL said:

This thread is making me feel all the more for working parents who have these late bus issues.  Not everyone has a flexible enough job that they can just hang out at home wondering when the bus is going to come, especially when it's happening regularly.  Not only that, but kids are missing hours of instruction time.  I hope the schools figure out solutions soon!

It seems that this problem crops up more frequently as school districts outsource bussing to independent companies in order to save on pensions, upkeep, and staff budgets.

[Tap]

25 minutes ago, SKL said:

??? there is no indication of either a crime or serious danger to the child.  He just needed a way to get to school.

The police will help him. Im not talking about reporting a crime. 
 

Im thinking by people’s responses that some have very different views/experiences with the police. My experience as friends with two officers is that helping people is one of the highlights of their days. They aren’t in police work to be the enforcer or to punish people. They want to help and be a positive influence on families and the community. Helping a kid who is locked out and couldn’t get to school is something they would absolutely assist with. 

[lauraw4321]

My DH once did something similar and I chewed him out for it. First day of school and the kid forgot to get off the bus and got off in our neighborhood but a long walk from home. He drove her home with our daughter in the car too. Still stupid move. 
 

I would wait with the kid, calling school and parents continually until someone answered. No way I’d transport. None. 

[SKL]

13 minutes ago, Tap said:

The police will help him. Im not talking about reporting a crime. 
 

Im thinking by people’s responses that some have very different views/experiences with the police. My experience as friends with two officers is that helping people is one of the highlights of their days. They aren’t in police work to be the enforcer or to punish people. They want to help and be a positive influence on families and the community. Helping a kid who is locked out and couldn’t get to school is something they would absolutely assist with. 

A couple things.

1) Even if they were helping out, there would be a record that they went to this house.  In the long run, not a good thing.  It could also scare the kid / parent or confuse the neighbors.

2) In a lot of places, the police department is short-staffed.  And if the buses are running late, that's a lot of kids hanging out waiting.  "What if everyone did that?"  Even if cops are nice, they should only be called for situations involving crimes or danger IMO.

3) We shouldn't normalize the idea that kids can't safely wait for a bus alone.

[73349]

12 minutes ago, SKL said:

We shouldn't normalize the idea that kids can't safely wait for a bus alone.

That's true *if* the bus is coming eventually. An 8yo locked out of the house the entire day if the bus never shows is definitely not a good thing.

[Terabith]

14 hours ago, ktgrok said:

Not to mention, can you imagine if you got home from work that day and your kid tells you a random stranger took them to school? I'd freak out. I mean, don't we teach our kids NOT to get into a stranger's car???

That was my first thought, honestly. 

[Terabith]

3 hours ago, marbel said:

I'm thinking - what if I was the mom who got the call from the stranger? I'd probably be in a panic to get to my kid. I might call any relative who lived close by who could get to my house quickly. Or I'd call the cops and ask them to watch over my kid till I got there.  Because, sure, almost certainly if a person has evil intent they are not calling the parent. But I still don't want my kid in that person's car.  

I am having a hard time with the notion that the school did not answer the phone after multiple calls? I mean, I don't think anyone is lying here, but that seems a bit outrageous that the school can't be reached. 

Having grown up in this school system, that part sadly doesn’t surprise me.  It is not a functional school system.  The receptionist is probably subbing for a class.  

[TheReader]

This has been an eye-opening thread for me. 

My first instinct would have been to do what your sister did, call, no answer, drive the kid to school and explain.  In fact, a kid was waiting in my neighborhood recently, in the afternoon, no mom to be found, locked out of his house.  My first thought was stop, talk to the kid, see if he needed to come wait at my house. (*this was at most a 6 yr old, not a 9 yr old)

His other neighbor came out, and he waited over there, at which point I realized that it would have been better for me to go wait with him, bring him a drink of water, etc., and stay at his house, not bring him to mine.....but that aspect didn't cross my mind until later on. Oops. 

(My husband, on the other hand, would never in a zillion years...)

I really need to stop and think things through before springing into action....this thread is helping me remember that. 

*calling the cops would not have been a thing I thought of, at all.....here, right or wrong, that would likely lead to a CPS call and visit, which would lead to who knows what trouble for the family.  I might instead help the kiddo trouble shoot which neighbors does he know, does he know mom's number, is there somewhere else he can wait, does he know dad's number, etc., etc., etc. if it was clear the bus was not actually coming. 

[Tap]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

A couple things.

1) Even if they were helping out, there would be a record that they went to this house.  In the long run, not a good thing.  It could also scare the kid / parent or confuse the neighbors.

2) In a lot of places, the police department is short-staffed.  And if the buses are running late, that's a lot of kids hanging out waiting.  "What if everyone did that?"  Even if cops are nice, they should only be called for situations involving crimes or danger IMO.

3) We shouldn't normalize the idea that kids can't safely wait for a bus alone.

1 This is not my concern. If the family needs assistance from the police multiple times, then that is between them snd tge police dept. 

2 police  staffing is not my concern, a child’s safety is. If I called and the police dept said no one was available, then I would proceed from there. I’m not going to ignore that option based on a “what if they are short staffed at this moment in time. The police dept can decide what is a priority and handle it accordingly. Again, not my decision to make. 
 

3, child was locked out and it sounds like school had already started…. Bus wasn’t coming or kid didn’t realize it was very late. For this person to have identified that something was wrong with this child sitting there, it was more than just waiting for a bus. 

[Murphy101]

4 hours ago, pinball said:

Because nothing improves neighborly relations like “reporting” them before talking to them 

It has nothing to do with neighborly relations. Recognition of the fact that some neighbors are best related to by a mediator (aka cop) is simple fact.  I wouldn’t call it reporting. I don’t know enough facts to report anything.  You know who can get those facts legally and more efficiently than me? A cop. 

[Murphy101]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

A couple things.

1) Even if they were helping out, there would be a record that they went to this house.  In the long run, not a good thing.  It could also scare the kid / parent or confuse the neighbors.

why? I’m sure there’s records of first responders to my house(s) over the years. Dozens! You know what those reports show? That I’ve never had them out for abusing or neglecting my kids.  That’s they gave my kids stickers and let them play with the siren while a relative was put on a gurney and taken to the hospital. That my youngest decided to practice calling 911 last week.  (True story.)

The report should show why they came and what they did.

2 hours ago, SKL said:

2) In a lot of places, the police department is short-staffed.  And if the buses are running late, that's a lot of kids hanging out waiting.  "What if everyone did that?"  Even if cops are nice, they should only be called for situations involving crimes or danger IMO.

yeah. Here too. That’s why they have a non-emergency number. And that’s why they ask questions like age, safety of location, condition and if we will stay or whatever. And they will straight up say, “oh the buses are running late” or “we know and that’s not a priority atm but we will check in later to see if this needs attention”

In MY neighborhood? I wouldn’t call a cop for this for a child that age. But in my neighborhood he wouldn’t be waiting for the bus by himself either. There’d be other kids. 

I did call the cops a few years ago bc kids waiting a stop were being way too rough with some younger ones. Twice I saw a kid nearly shoved into oncoming traffic. I rolled my window down and told them to knock it off before someone got killed and they flipped me off and I noticed one of the younger ones was crying so I called the cops bc I was genuinely worried for that little kid. 

2 hours ago, SKL said:

3) We shouldn't normalize the idea that kids can't safely wait for a bus alone.

Except in some places that IS a normal fact that a kid can’t wait safely outside.

I and my kids have walked our area within 4 mile radius at literally all hours of the day and night. And I’m very grateful we live somewhere I feel safe doing that.

Buy I’m not ignorant to situational awareness being important and that it is flat out not safe to that alone everywhere.  It should be. But it isn’t.  And pretending that isn’t so won’t make those kids safer. 

[SKL]

49 minutes ago, Tap said:

3, child was locked out and it sounds like school had already started…. Bus wasn’t coming or kid didn’t realize it was very late. For this person to have identified that something was wrong with this child sitting there, it was more than just waiting for a bus. 

Because I know families whose kids have been hours late to school this fall due to bus scheduling problems, I would have assumed it was something like that.  Any other year, I guess I would have assumed the bus forgot the kid (which has also happened to my kids in the past), or that the kid missed the bus the old-fashioned way.  I still would have contacted the parent first, the school second, and suggested a neighbor-friend third.

Either way, I would not have called the police except as a last resort, and only if the child was unable to be safe otherwise.  For example, a much younger child who really has no idea where he's supposed to be or how to get there - can't contact parents, school, or neighbors and can't safely stay alone much longer.

[SKL]

41 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

Except in some places that IS a normal fact that a kid can’t wait safely outside.

I and my kids have walked our area within 4 mile radius at literally all hours of the day and night. And I’m very grateful we live somewhere I feel safe doing that.

Buy I’m not ignorant to situational awareness being important and that it is flat out not safe to that alone everywhere.  It should be. But it isn’t.  And pretending that isn’t so won’t make those kids safer. 

Well the OP doesn't imply that is the case here.  In most places, it is perfectly safe for a 9yo NT child to wait alone outside for a school bus.  And if this kid wasn't safe waiting outside, he wasn't safe waiting outside period, whether it was 8:30am or 9:30am.  That's not the vibe I'm getting here.

[ktgrok]

4 hours ago, SKL said:

??? there is no indication of either a crime or serious danger to the child.  He just needed a way to get to school.

The police are not just there for crime - they are there (ideally, and in my experience in places I've lived- to serve the public and prevent problems. And in fact, they appreciate being called out to handle something BEFORE anything bad happens, and have expressed so to me, more than once. They do things like welfare checks, etc without any intent of arresting anyone - just making sure everyone is okay. 

In this scenario if the bus for whatever reason didn't come, and the kid is going to be stuck sitting outside all day long, and I can't reach a family member, yes, I'd call the non emergency line and have them come out and help. They can send another cop to the school to talk to someone in person , they could get mom's contact info from the school, etc. And if they figure it all out they can drive the kid to school or wait with him until mom gets there, etc. No reason to arrest anyone OR to involve CPS - there is no neglect in having your kid wait at the bus stop. 

4 hours ago, Tap said:

The police will help him. Im not talking about reporting a crime. 
 

Im thinking by people’s responses that some have very different views/experiences with the police. My experience as friends with two officers is that helping people is one of the highlights of their days. They aren’t in police work to be the enforcer or to punish people. They want to help and be a positive influence on families and the community. Helping a kid who is locked out and couldn’t get to school is something they would absolutely assist with. 

Same. 

[Dmmetler]

4 hours ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

I would have thought so too, but I volunteered frequently in our school office last year.  It is a K-12 charter and we had secondary-age kids that would come in to call parents and not know their phone number.  It astounded me.  

If kids have mostly used cell phones that have numbers programmed in, they may not have learned them. I know that I have a much harder time retaining phone numbers now that I can just click the person's name vs when I needed to dial them myself. 

[katilac]

4 hours ago, Tap said:

The police will help him. Im not talking about reporting a crime. 
 

Im thinking by people’s responses that some have very different views/experiences with the police. My experience as friends with two officers is that helping people is one of the highlights of their days. They aren’t in police work to be the enforcer or to punish people. They want to help and be a positive influence on families and the community. Helping a kid who is locked out and couldn’t get to school is something they would absolutely assist with. 

Of course many people have many different experiences with the police, and no one who has internet is unaware of the fact that the police don't always act like the two officers you happen to personally know. 

Calling the police in a situation like this could have a variety of reults, some of them good and of course some of them not. Sometimes this is because of specific protocols in that locale, and sometimes it's because of the specific officers involved. 

[Jaybee]

21 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

If kids have mostly used cell phones that have numbers programmed in, they may not have learned them. I know that I have a much harder time retaining phone numbers now that I can just click the person's name vs when I needed to dial them myself. 

Yep. I know dh's number, but I don't even know my mom's or my kids'.

[catz]

It's totally true none of us are memorizing cell phone numbers these days.  But that said, before my kids had cell phones and when they were old enough to be dropped off for activities, they certainly had memorized our home and cell numbers.  They also always had contact info in lunch boxes and backpacks.  So I do find it odd that a kid that stands out for a bus alone every day would have no clue how to get a hold of a parent during the day.    

I do think the call the police thing can definitely differ by locale.  Honestly, because we are fairly urban, unless I struck up a conversation with a kid standing on a street corner walking by I wouldn't likely be alarmed by a child standing alone waiting during the day.  There are too many schools, calendars, etc to remotely know.  There is a local online/in-person hybrid that has weird hours, some organize car pools when busing doesn't work, etc.   I live a block or so from a school.

But I also live in primarily an upper middle class neighborhood with a university adjacent.  Police don't come into this neighborhood guns blazing ever.  If I were driving through some other neighborhoods in my urban metro, there are definitely areas where I wouldn't be calling police.  I can see in some smaller towns where sticking a kid in your car wouldn't be that weird, I lived in a smaller town growing up, that definitely could have happened.  Heck, it certainly did.   But there is NO way on earth I would do that where I live now.  And I would have been supremely disappointed in my parenting if my kid got into a vehicle with a stranger.

Edited September 28, 2022 by catz