When did children's sports practices become a spectator sport?

[Tenaj]

Not sure when this happened but now it appears that it is not enough to take your kid to practice, or even to wait on them at practice but parents are expected to sit beside the field and actively cheer on the kids during practice?

I'm sitting in the van waiting on my 8yodd who has softball practice.  I brought my son's algebra book and am trying to figure out how to teach more clearly tomorrow but I'm feeling like a slacker because I'm almost certain I am the only parent not cheering on the sidelines while they practice batting and fielding.

I promise I'll be at every game and cheer loudly,  I'll work the concession stand, I'll bring snacks but I do not see the need to cheer through practice! 

I must be getting old and grumpy.  

 

[Gobblygook]

Here, virtually no one stays for soccer practice for older kids but some do stay for the younger kids’ practice. I usually bring a book since it’s about the only quiet time I get to read!

[SKL]

When my kids were doing soccer, I would have felt out of bounds if I told my kids anything during practice.  They are supposed to be listening to the coach.  Same for any other sport or class.

I probably started out sitting on the bleachers because I didn't know any better.  I would blab with the other parents who hung around.  Eventually I started going for nice long walks around the field and beyond during practice.  Sometimes with a buddy, sometimes alone.  I miss those days!

[catz]

Staying on site isn't unusual for kids under about 10 or 11.  But cheering or even being involved at all unless the coach sent my kid over?  That's just craziness.  

[Farrar]

Just don't do it. (New Nike slogan to go along with that great SNL what we really do in leggings fake ad from last week.)

That wasn't the norm when my kids were in sports. Thank goodness.

[teachermom2834]

When my now college kid was playing baseball every practice was a family event. Both parents and the siblings. I was on the receiving end of alot of "we just all want to be together" and "I can't bear to miss watching him" that made me feel bad. I felt very judged. 

I got over it. 

I have a big family. We're all together all day (except dh) homeschooling. It was fine for us to not do everything together all the time and it is definitely much more than fine for young ones to realize they can handle themselves without mom for an  hour.

 

[Heatherwith4]

Yeah, I was made to feel like the weird outcast when my boys were playing baseball, because I didn’t stay right there and watch them.  I had a baby at the time, so it was tricky.  Plus most of the parents were obnoxious.  Kids team sports are soooo weird around here.  

[hjffkj]

Dh is currently dealing with parents at his work interrupting his martial arts classes.  Not only are they correcting their own kids from the sidelines, they are correcting other kids.  He had to send out emails and make announcements not to do it because it is a distraction for everyone and disrespectful to the instructors on the floor. 

[Dmmetler]

Well, my DD is tumbling/conditioning for cheer, and so far I’ve tutored a kid in Algebra 1, helped a girl with her 5th grade book report, walked 2 Miles, and am now enjoying WiFi while she finishes up. A group of us did regular workouts for awhile. There are a decent number of us who don’t run, but we rarely watch, and if we cheered or tried to coach, well, it wouldn’t end well. 

[mamaraby]

I don’t know when it became a thing, but it’s been a thing for my kids at the U10 club level and down lately. With really little kids, it makes sense, but at U10? I love my kids and I’ll take them to practice and be at games, but I draw the line at practice. We’re already together all day. Sometimes we like to be apart. :p

@JanOH - embrace being a slacker and resist the pressure! It’s silly. I often do what you do and sit in the car (or go for a run), but that’s because I like to save gas. It is not because I’m feeling too lazy to drive back and forth. No siree.

[Acorn]

I watch to look for signs of asthma issues. I am usually finishing up work details at same time.

[HS Mom in NC]

I dropped off for indoor archery practice unless I had a quilt to work on, in which case I set up my portable loom and chair and quilted away. Outdoor archery practice was 45 minutes from my house with nothing to do nearby, so I usually read a book in the car or jogged the desert trail next to the range because most archery parents be crazy. Do not engage most archery parents in conversation.  You'll be sooooorry. 

I drop off for Tae Kwon Do.

[freesia]

We have to stay for U10 soccer. They are clear that it is not a drop off.  However, the parents chat through practice and only sometimes cheer at some points during scrimages--but it is not the norm, just if you look up and see one girl make a really good play one or two of the parents might call out an encouragement.  It is nothing like the games.

Dh does TKD with the kids.  If he can't go I stay and read or go shopping.

I dropped ds off at climbing when he did that for most of high school.

When a couple of them did track at different points in our lives, I always walked the track or read.

So, I would say, "watching" is not the norm.  Staying is often done, though, as we live in a suburb made up of little towns and we live in the middle and almost nothing (except the soccer where we have to stay) is close.

[lmrich]

This is crazy! I hated that aspect of sports for my kids. My youngest ended up with several UTI issues because she refused to the port-potty near the fields. I remember talking to my son, age 8 at the time, and I apologized that I would miss his game, and his response floored me. He told me, I don't even notice you. I play for myself and my team. You are not a part of it.  - Geez! All guilt for missing was gone! 

This all applies to 'dance moms' - NO THANKS - I am not going to sit in the lobby and talk about how great my kid is with you. She dances because it makes her happy. I don't care about her split or her perfect turns. She is happy; she is challenged; she is fulfilled. BACK OFF MOMS - this is not about you!

Sorry for the rant - but that is why I would sit in the car and read a book rather than brag about how great my kid is. (and they are awesome!!)

 

 

[Bluegoat]

I don't know, no one stayed when I was a kid.  When my mom was a kid, she said parents often didn't come to games, the kids walked to the practices and games themselves once they were 10 or so, and kept track of the schedules.

Anyway, I don't stay at much these days.  Although it would actually be easier now, when I had all small kids and toddlers, and it really was a no-no to leave, it was pretty hellish.  

[teachermom2834]

Related story- when my oldest was in middle school we were chatting with his coach because we had some sort of practice conflict (I rarely talked to the coach). The coach said something like "your mom is going to yell at you if you don't started pulling the ball the right field" just joking with him.

ds laughed and said "my mom doesn't care about baseball. It's awesome!" 

Mine have never taken our lack of hanging on all the details and never missing a moment as lack of support. Now- the other parents sure did but I developed thick skin.

[Tap]

I sometimes stay the first 1 or 2 practices up till 6th grade or so, to get an idea of the coaches mentality and structure of practice. Then I leave unless there is some reason to stay. Once they were in 7-8th grade, I never stayed and relied on them to tell me if they needed help with an issue.    A short practice, like 45 minute doesn't really leave time to do something else in the city, because it will take just as much time to drive there and get back. When my son swam, sometimes I would go for a walk but often sat in the lobby (not poolside) and chatted with other parents.  I live 20-45 minutes from my kids practices, it often doesn't make sense to go home if it is an hour or less.

Cheering during practice would seem counterproductive to me, since the coach couldn't be heard over the noise to give instructions. 

DD11 is autistic so I stay for all practices in case she needs to leave early due to her particular issues. 

[sassenach]

That’s weird. I used to sit at swim practices, but that stopped around 8. I’ve never sat around watching a baseball practice. I think sometimes it’s because it takes more time to drive somewhere else than just wait around. And if you’re there, you might as well watch...? Maybe?

Try not to worry about what other people think. We’re rarely right when we project thoughts and feelings onto other people. 

[Targhee]

I don’t think it’s a thing here.  In fact I spent an hour chit chatting in my friend’s van yesterday while our kids were at practice. I think it’s gealthy to give them space to make errors, practice things, and not have pressure to be “on” all the time.

[theelfqueen]

I used to get the stink eye from other parents for reading during my kids' practices and lessons.

[J-rap]

Here, a parent might stay if logically it makes more sense than driving all the way home and coming back again, but they're generally talking to the parent next to them or reading, or maybe taking a walk nearby.

[hepatica]

Total slacker parent here! I don't even stay for games. Often I am too busy driving someone else to stay, but even when I am not I am just not interested. My kids play rec soccer and basketball, and I always feel like I am sneaking away (these are not even competitive teams, just rec teams). Way too many parents hanging around watching everything. We have a couple ASD kids, and I think the coaches are happy to have those parents around to help out if needed, but otherwise I think they should all just go away.

If I had my druthers, I'd ban parents from the games as well....Too much cheering and groaning and yelling at the refs. It's just yucky.

[mom@shiloh]

I would often stay at practices until they were about middle school age.  Not to cheer, or even to watch; it was just more convenient to stay than to go and come back given the location of the practices. Also, my kids play mostly soccer, so sometimes there could be a sudden storm and then they'd have nowhere to hide. :)  Spending the time chatting with other parents was nice as well, especially if there were parents who were new to the program.  My kids play on homeschool teams, so it's a nice way of building community to stay and talk. But, to interfere in the practices or cheer them on?  Nope, nope, nope.  Coach's job. 

[Carrie12345]

I wouldn't say I'm much of a cheerer, but I tend to actively watch my kids' practices more often than not.  In our area, the distance makes it pointless to drop off and pick up, and I enjoy the game.

(I'm also happy to sit in my car and play on my phone when it's cold out, lol.)

[freesia]

11 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

They don’t allow drop off for 10u?  That surprises me.  

When I in 1st grade, brownies was drop off.  In fact, our end of the year ceremony was a big deal in part because the parents got to come. 

I think it had to do with having someone there to take the child to get medical care if they get hurt. The reason I think this is I asked last year when she was U8 if I could leave my mature 14 year old at a game with her bc I had to drive someone else somewhere and I was told it needed to be someone who could drive her for medical care. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I didn't get the impression it was a requirement, but I saw some parents doing it (the one time either of my kids was in a sport). 

[mlktwins]

I'm probably the odd person out, but if the weather is nice, I will watch my boys' baseball practices.  It is just rec ball, but I've been around most of the kids for 4 years now.  This is my 6th season as team mom (the coaches recruit me along with my boys every season -- LOL).  I will talk to the other parents, read a book, or grade school work once the season gets underway.  If it is cold, I will sit in my car.  My DH is assistant coach for the first time this season so I will probably go to less practices, which is fine.  I haven't missed a game in 9 seasons -- LOL.  I take pictures and post them for the team.

I do not stay for swim practices anymore - both year round and summer team.