Question: Do you put anything in your parents' stockings?

[Meadowlark]

Just curious how many people this is a tradition for. 

 

1. Do your parents fill a stocking for your kids?

2. Do they put out their own stockings

3. Do you fill it with anything or does it stay empty?

 

ETA: Not stockings at your own house. This is if your parents also have stockings hung for your kids at their house.

Edited December 27, 2017 by Meadowlark

[OneStepAtATime]

All of us used to get stockings, across the board, and people would stuff things in each other's stocking if they felt like it/thought about it/had something they wanted to stuff.  Now it is just the kids, no parents or grandparents, that get stockings.  It just sort of worked out that way.  No one really decided.

[maize]

I'm not quite understanding--are you asking if grandparents fill stockings for grandkids and if parents fill stockings for grandparents?

 

Or if children fill stockings for their parents?

 

I fill a stocking for anyone who is in my home Christmas night--including myself :) FiL was here this Christmas so he got a stocking too.

[Meadowlark]

I'm not quite understanding--are you asking if grandparents fill stockings for grandkids and if parents fill stockings for grandparents?

 

Or if children fill stockings for their parents?

 

I fill a stocking for anyone who is in my home Christmas night--including myself :) FiL was here this Christmas so he got a stocking too.

 

Sorry-if you went to your parents house for the annual Christmas gathering, and they had stockings up for you and your kids, PLUS they had a stocking hanging there for themselves, would you fill it? Or maybe not fill, but toss 1-2 things in it just so it's not empty? Note that in this house, everyone goes and gets their full to the brim stocking and opens it together in front of the grandparents. The grandparents fill everyone's stockings-as in 14 people.

[J-rap]

No, we did stockings until our kids were somewhere in their teens.  It was kids only.  We're rarely home for Christmas, but we'd always bring stockings along if we traveled to grandparents' homes.  We'd fill them up ourselves.  If we traveled somewhere else besides grandparents, we wouldn't bring them.

 

 

[KarenNC]

No, neither side does stockings at the grandparents' homes for kids. When I was growing up, however, we would go to my maternal grandmother's house on Christmas Eve after the candlelight service, where we would have dinner and Santa would have filled stockings for the kids and left presents. We had stockings and presents at home on Christmas morning, then went to my great-grandmother's house for Christmas lunch/early dinner.

 

We did have a couple of Christmases where my in-laws came to our house, so we had stockings that we filled for them, since we all have stockings here (I fill for my husband and daughter, my husband fills mine).

[maize]

Ah.

 

We've not lived close enough for Christmas gatherings at grandparents' homes.

[Loowit]

My parents never had stockings for themselves when I was a kid growing up.  My mom made one for each of us kids that we took with us when we moved out.  We don't do stocking gifts with anyone outside of our household (kids, DH, and I).

[HS Mom in NC]

No stockings for adults at any grandparent's house.

[Starr]

It’s surprising to me that Santa wouldn’t put something in every stocking. Christmas stockings are fun. We don’t leave out Nana.

[mom@shiloh]

We fill stockings for every kids who is at home, including their spouses.  Sometimes, we ship 'stockings' to kids who aren't home for Christmas.  Usually, one of my kids will fill a stocking for my dh and me.  

[medawyn]

We don't visit family for Christmas right now, but I did mail a small package of stocking stuffers to both my dad and step dad for the wives in their lives.  I do pretty much every year.  Not enough to fill a stocking (that technically IS their job), but little things I have found throughout the year.  This year, for example, I tried to clip a hangnail when we were visiting my mom, and every nail clipper in her house was too dull to make even a dent.  She got the exciting gift of new nail clippers :-)

[athomeontheprairie]

When dh and I first got married, my mil said stockings were only for those at her house ON Christmas day. That was good with me. The first 2-3 years, we lived out of state and came back for Christmas and spent the time between my parents house and his. On the years we were at his parents-stockings. At mine, none.
Fast forward to when we moved back, and stopped going to mil’s on Christmas day: no stockings. Great! Fast forward a little more, my bil married and had a kid. Now everyone gets a stocking on whatever day we celebrate. *I* really wish she didn’t do that, but whatever. It went from something low stress to … a lot. My mil had a lot of kids, it was nice and easy for her with only three people home for Christmas. Now, well she’s filling 15+ stockings and still has two kids that haven’t married or had kids yet.
Her stockings are generic however. They have candy, jerky, toothbrushes, a small toy for the kids. Women get fun socks. Men get something else.
Either my sil or I (or both of us) will fill them the morning we celebrate while others are finishing up getting the meal ready.

 

Stockings are weird, imo. And his family and my family have very different traditions surrounding them and what goes inside

 

I don’t think I answered your question, however. When it was just a couple of us on Christmas day, yes. Dh and I made sure his parents had something in the stocking. In part, because at the time my youngest bil was 3-4 and still believed in Santa.

 

[Kassia]

This would be my MIL/FIL

 

1.  Yes, they fill stockings for the kids

 

2.  Yes, they put out their own stockings

 

3.  Yes, we fill their stockings

 

 

[Soror]

Dh's parents fill stockings for the kids, my parents do not do stockings for anybody. At home dh and I fill the kid's stockings and we each fill each others stockings. The kids already get stockings at home I don't feel it necessary they get them anywhere else, the fact that dh's parents do it is just a bonus, I'm certainly not up for filling 2 stockings for each kid (one at my house and the grandparents).

[Tenaj]

Anyone who is at my house on Christmas morning has a stocking. The adults won't be full but there will be at least a few things in it.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

No, No, and N/A. My parents are serious Christmas minimalists. They couldn't wait for me to move out so they could stop putting up a tree! So no, no stockings relating to grandparents at all. 

[mom2scouts]

No to all of these. Stockings were not a family tradition at my house growing up, so my parents don't have stockings for anyone at their house.

[Crimson Wife]

Minor children who are in high school or below get stockings and gifts under the tree from Santa (whether or not they still believe). Adults do not.

[SparklyUnicorn]

No.  My mother is not alive.  My dad does spend xmas here, but only my kids have a stocking.  He doesn't fill their stockings.

 

 

[Meadowlark]

Well, here is why I'm asking.

 

So, at both my parents and my dh's parents, they put out stockings for everyone, including themselves. They fill the adult children and grandchildren's stockings. And I don't mean a little, I mean really fill.

 

Well, up until a few years ago, my brothers and I (and my husband's) would put a few things each in my parents stockings. But, all of a sudden, both brothers (my other brother passed away)....stopped putting anything in our parents stockings. It's super ironic that this happened on both sides of the family at the same time.

 

So here's the awkwardness. Each Christmas, if WE don't fill all 4 of our parents stockings, they would be empty. I would feel terrible, which is why we always at least put a few things in each stocking. I mean, here they are filling 14 or so stockings-is it too much to ask of our brothers to contribute a few things? I don't dare ask or inquire because it's their decision (and relationships are fragile) but every single year, the parents open their stockings and look around and say "thank you to whoever got us this". I don't think they have any idea that it's US every.single.year. I have no idea why my brother or my husband's brother refuses to put anything in their stockings. It's so bizarre and gets me in an uproar every year.

[theelfqueen]

No. When my in-laws come for Christmas they bring their stockings. They fill each other's. DH and I dill each other's. I fill the kids.

 

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[maize]

Well, here is why I'm asking.

 

So, at both my parents and my dh's parents, they put out stockings for everyone, including themselves. They fill the adult children and grandchildren's stockings. And I don't mean a little, I mean really fill.

 

Well, up until a few years ago, my brothers and I (and my husband's) would put a few things each in my parents stockings. But, all of a sudden, both brothers (my other brother passed away)....stopped putting anything in our parents stockings. It's super ironic that this happened on both sides of the family at the same time.

 

So here's the awkwardness. Each Christmas, if WE don't fill all 4 of our parents stockings, they would be empty. I would feel terrible, which is why we always at least put a few things in each stocking. I mean, here they are filling 14 or so stockings-is it too much to ask of our brothers to contribute a few things? I don't dare ask or inquire because it's their decision (and relationships are fragile) but every single year, the parents open their stockings and look around and say "thank you to whoever got us this". I don't think they have any idea that it's US every.single.year. I have no idea why my brother or my husband's brother refuses to put anything in their stockings. It's so bizarre and gets me in an uproar every year.

I'd just keep doing what you are doing; gift giving should not be a mandated sort of thing.

 

Are funds super tight so that money spent on stocking stuffers is a stressor to you?

[Spryte]

My parents don’t live close enough for us to go to their house.

 

But when we’ve had them here, or ILs, on Xmas they have never filled a stocking for our kids. Stockings are on us. We do all the Santa stuff for our own kids. We do the stockings for our kids, and all adults who wake up on our house on Xmas morning. It has meant up to 11 extra stockings some years.

 

If my mom comes, she always puts something in my and DH’s stockings, but she hasn’t been here for that morning in years.

 

If we went to a parent’s house and knew they had filled stockings for us and the kids, we would absolutely bring stuffers for the parents.

 

Stockings are fun!

[Spryte]

Well, here is why I'm asking.

 

So, at both my parents and my dh's parents, they put out stockings for everyone, including themselves. They fill the adult children and grandchildren's stockings. And I don't mean a little, I mean really fill.

 

Well, up until a few years ago, my brothers and I (and my husband's) would put a few things each in my parents stockings. But, all of a sudden, both brothers (my other brother passed away)....stopped putting anything in our parents stockings. It's super ironic that this happened on both sides of the family at the same time.

 

So here's the awkwardness. Each Christmas, if WE don't fill all 4 of our parents stockings, they would be empty. I would feel terrible, which is why we always at least put a few things in each stocking. I mean, here they are filling 14 or so stockings-is it too much to ask of our brothers to contribute a few things? I don't dare ask or inquire because it's their decision (and relationships are fragile) but every single year, the parents open their stockings and look around and say "thank you to whoever got us this". I don't think they have any idea that it's US every.single.year. I have no idea why my brother or my husband's brother refuses to put anything in their stockings. It's so bizarre and gets me in an uproar every year.

Would it be a terrible breach of tradition for you to wrap each gift and put on a gift tag? With a to and from? Maybe that would make you feel better? Edited December 27, 2017 by Spryte

[skimomma]

When we are at my house, everyone has a stocking and all get filled.  That means I fill my immediate family's and any guests.  Dh puts stuff in mine but I do have to remind him.....not because I NEED stuff in my stocking but because it is distressing to dd when "Santa" forgets me.  I now keep backup stuff to toss in mine when dh forgets just to keep up appearances.  This happens about 50% of the time.

 

When at my mom's, everyone has a stocking and all get filled.  I fill my immediate family's and my mom's.  My mom fills her friends' (who often join us for Christmas morning) and mine.

 

When at dh's mom's, I fill my immediate family's and MIL's.  MIL fills her other children's, their families', and mine.  Dh's siblings are supposed to rotate MIL stocking fillings with me but it is usually easier for me to do it as we are often the only ones there on Christmas Eve.

 

I don't see any of this changing anytime soon.  Gifts are not my love language and I would just assume stop the stockings but I am outvoted....even though I do the bulk of the stocking jobs.

 

 

 

 

[skimomma]

Well, here is why I'm asking.

 

So, at both my parents and my dh's parents, they put out stockings for everyone, including themselves. They fill the adult children and grandchildren's stockings. And I don't mean a little, I mean really fill.

 

Well, up until a few years ago, my brothers and I (and my husband's) would put a few things each in my parents stockings. But, all of a sudden, both brothers (my other brother passed away)....stopped putting anything in our parents stockings. It's super ironic that this happened on both sides of the family at the same time.

 

So here's the awkwardness. Each Christmas, if WE don't fill all 4 of our parents stockings, they would be empty. I would feel terrible, which is why we always at least put a few things in each stocking. I mean, here they are filling 14 or so stockings-is it too much to ask of our brothers to contribute a few things? I don't dare ask or inquire because it's their decision (and relationships are fragile) but every single year, the parents open their stockings and look around and say "thank you to whoever got us this". I don't think they have any idea that it's US every.single.year. I have no idea why my brother or my husband's brother refuses to put anything in their stockings. It's so bizarre and gets me in an uproar every year.

 

This happens with us (me) too.  I just let it go.  Our families have way bigger issues so not my hill to die on.  

[Annie G]

My parents filled each other's stockings so now that mom has passed away, I would fill Dad's if I was there for Christmas.  Same with dh's dad.  But in our family the supposes fill each other's stockings so it wouldn't occur to me to do it. But in your family it was a tradition. I don't know why you can't casually ask them. Maybe they don't know what to put in them, or maybe they just don't care about stockings.  But if they enjoy what they get in theirs, not cool that they don't also put in the effort to fill your folks' stockings. 

 

[Seeking Squirrels]

My mom used to have stockings for everyone in the family (herself, step-dad, all kids, and all grandkids) and she filled, yes FILLED, all of them with candy. I thought it was nuts and way too much candy for my liking. As the family grew it thankfully became too expensive for her to buy that much candy and she stopped doing stockings. It would be odd to me if she had filled everyone's but her own. If hers was left empty I'd feel bad but it would be a little late at that point for me to do anything about it. I guess I'd plan ahead and bring something the next year? But to me that's kind of like asking for someone to give you something but without actually asking, only implying, and that's just awkward. 

 

But if I was placed in that position, I might say something to the sibling and just casually point out that parent's stockings were empty and it would be a nice joint effort if we fill them together, how about we each contribute 3 things to each? 

[HS Mom in NC]

It's so bizarre and gets me in an uproar every year.

 

Woah.  A uproar?  I'm wondering what's at the root of such a strong reaction.

 

Until this thread I've never heard of kids stuffing parents' stockings. When someone doesn't do the majority of the work to create the "magic of Christmas" they may not really even think of such things at all. I wouldn't get upset that my brothers overlook what it seems might have been a tradition in your family. We didn't do stockings in my family when I was growing up.  We've done them in my own family now and my husband's family did them, but the kids never filled the parents' stockings.  My MIL filled FIL's and filled some of hers and she'd finish hers up with some things she wanted. I do all the Christmas shopping and stocking stuffing.  We do treats (we have relatively small stockings) and I buy them all for everyone, including myself.  It never even entered my head that my kids would do that for my husband and me.

 

Seriously, in your situation, I would just take it on myself to make sure my parents' stockings were filled and enjoy being Santa to them. You're not supposed to do Christmas gift giving with resentment in your heart toward anyone. Another option would be to have a conversation with your siblings about if it's time to stop doing stockings for everyone (my in-laws don't do them anymore), if it's time to end stockings for adults, or if it's time to divide up responsibility for parental stockings.  Be prepared for the possibility that their answer may not be what you want it to be.  If they choose divide up responsibilities you'll have to decide if you want everyone to pitch in $ and one person does the shopping, if each person is bringing a certain amount, or if you're going to rotate each year whose responsibility it is.

 

If the decision was sharing responsibility for that in my family, I would insist on cash from one of my 3 brothers and I'd do the shopping for him and me.  (He'd prefer that anyway.) My other two brothers would do a good job, so I would give them options.

[wintermom]

Well, here is why I'm asking.

 

So, at both my parents and my dh's parents, they put out stockings for everyone, including themselves. They fill the adult children and grandchildren's stockings. And I don't mean a little, I mean really fill.

 

Well, up until a few years ago, my brothers and I (and my husband's) would put a few things each in my parents stockings. But, all of a sudden, both brothers (my other brother passed away)....stopped putting anything in our parents stockings. It's super ironic that this happened on both sides of the family at the same time.

 

So here's the awkwardness. Each Christmas, if WE don't fill all 4 of our parents stockings, they would be empty. I would feel terrible, which is why we always at least put a few things in each stocking. I mean, here they are filling 14 or so stockings-is it too much to ask of our brothers to contribute a few things? I don't dare ask or inquire because it's their decision (and relationships are fragile) but every single year, the parents open their stockings and look around and say "thank you to whoever got us this". I don't think they have any idea that it's US every.single.year. I have no idea why my brother or my husband's brother refuses to put anything in their stockings. It's so bizarre and gets me in an uproar every year.

 

I think it's really nice that you have continued to provide the little treats. Why not just continue with a generous heart and not make a big deal. Obviously, the brothers have dropped out for whatever reason. Or maybe it was their wives who were doing it and they just got busy, tired or something. If you really want to know why, just ask you brother. Be prepared for some added annoyance, though. No one really wants it pointed out that they aren't doing something that requires some time and effort.

Edited December 27, 2017 by wintermom

[Meadowlark]

Woah.  A uproar?  I'm wondering what's at the root of such a strong reaction.

 

Until this thread I've never heard of kids stuffing parents' stockings. When someone doesn't do the majority of the work to create the "magic of Christmas" they may not really even think of such things at all. I wouldn't get upset that my brothers overlook what it seems might have been a tradition in your family. We didn't do stockings in my family when I was growing up.  We've done them in my own family now and my husband's family did them, but the kids never filled the parents' stockings.  My MIL filled FIL's and filled some of hers and she'd finish hers up with some things she wanted. I do all the Christmas shopping and stocking stuffing.  We do treats (we have relatively small stockings) and I buy them all for everyone, including myself.  It never even entered my head that my kids would do that for my husband and me.

 

Seriously, in your situation, I would just take it on myself to make sure my parents' stockings were filled and enjoy being Santa to them. You're not supposed to do Christmas gift giving with resentment in your heart toward anyone. Another option would be to have a conversation with your siblings about if it's time to stop doing stockings for everyone (my in-laws don't do them anymore), if it's time to end stockings for adults, or if it's time to divide up responsibility for parental stockings.  Be prepared for the possibility that their answer may not be what you want it to be.  If they choose divide up responsibilities you'll have to decide if you want everyone to pitch in $ and one person does the shopping, if each person is bringing a certain amount, or if you're going to rotate each year whose responsibility it is.

 

If the decision was sharing responsibility for that in my family, I would insist on cash from one of my 3 brothers and I'd do the shopping for him and me.  (He'd prefer that anyway.) My other two brothers would do a good job, so I would give them options.

Yes, there's a much bigger story which constitutes the "uproar"...too long to tell here. But, relationships are tense and this just adds fuel to the fire. Maybe it's petty, but I have 6 kids and therefore, lots of stockings to fill. If *I* just stopped doing the stockings, then my poor parents would have nothing. And opening stockings is a thing in itself. My parents give everyone there's and watch everyone open them. So, if they had nothing-imagine how awkward that would be. And my parents are very generous.  And it's the same on my husbands side. It's just once again, others being selfish and us having to make up for it. I'm so tired of it, but but then again, that's the very thing that had led to this dysfunctional relationship, so it's a big of a "zinger" for me. I mean...how hard is it to pick up 1-2 things? Sorry, holidays are hard around here and this just gets me every year. I know I need to find a way to let it go and not bother me. And I tell myself that every year, and then it happens. They sit there all comfy cozy and watch us fill my parents stockings. I just don't get it. But then again, I don't understand almost every decision they make, so there you have it.

[maize]

Yes, there's a much bigger story which constitutes the "uproar"...too long to tell here. But, relationships are tense and this just adds fuel to the fire. Maybe it's petty, but I have 6 kids and therefore, lots of stockings to fill. If *I* just stopped doing the stockings, then my poor parents would have nothing. And opening stockings is a thing in itself. My parents give everyone there's and watch everyone open them. So, if they had nothing-imagine how awkward that would be. And my parents are very generous. And it's the same on my husbands side. It's just once again, others being selfish and us having to make up for it. I'm so tired of it, but but then again, that's the very thing that had led to this dysfunctional relationship, so it's a big of a "zinger" for me. I mean...how hard is it to pick up 1-2 things? Sorry, holidays are hard around here and this just gets me every year. I know I need to find a way to let it go and not bother me. And I tell myself that every year, and then it happens. They sit there all comfy cozy and watch us fill my parents stockings. I just don't get it. But then again, I don't understand almost every decision they make, so there you have it.

It sounds like for one reason or another some of these family members are not as functional in life--socially and in other ways--as you.

 

The more functional folks will always do more than a "fair" share of everything.

 

If you can, try to be grateful you have the capacity. I'm guessing you would not want your relatives' lives.

 

 

If you need to establish some boundaries do that, but try not to expend energy stressing over the behavior of others. It's futile.

 

I know, easier said than done.

[2_girls_mommy]

When we are at my house, everyone has a stocking and all get filled.  That means I fill my immediate family's and any guests.  Dh puts stuff in mine but I do have to remind him.....not because I NEED stuff in my stocking but because it is distressing to dd when "Santa" forgets me.  I now keep backup stuff to toss in mine when dh forgets just to keep up appearances.  This happens about 50% of the time.

 

When at my mom's, everyone has a stocking and all get filled.  I fill my immediate family's and my mom's.  My mom fills her friends' (who often join us for Christmas morning) and mine.

 

When at dh's mom's, I fill my immediate family's and MIL's.  MIL fills her other children's, their families', and mine.  Dh's siblings are supposed to rotate MIL stocking fillings with me but it is usually easier for me to do it as we are often the only ones there on Christmas Eve.

 

I don't see any of this changing anytime soon.  Gifts are not my love language and I would just assume stop the stockings but I am outvoted....even though I do the bulk of the stocking jobs.

THis is unrelated to OP. But I was just going to tell you that I fully fill mine at this point. Dh just doesn't, or he only does a small thing. I still fill his. But what I do is whatever I buy my kids, I get one for me (not of everything, but of stuff I use.) So when I buy everyone a new pack of ponytail holders, chapsticks, lotion, barrettes, bobby pins, etc, I get the one I like for me too. I get my kids a lot more than I get myself, but dh isn't a girl, so he doesn't know which chapstick flavor I like or which ponytails I like best. I always restock the girls on this stuff in stockings, so I just get myself restocked too. It makes me happy to have all my new goodies. 

[2_girls_mommy]

Woah.  A uproar?  I'm wondering what's at the root of such a strong reaction.

 

Until this thread I've never heard of kids stuffing parents' stockings. When someone doesn't do the majority of the work to create the "magic of Christmas" they may not really even think of such things at all. I wouldn't get upset that my brothers overlook what it seems might have been a tradition in your family. We didn't do stockings in my family when I was growing up.  We've done them in my own family now and my husband's family did them, but the kids never filled the parents' stockings.  My MIL filled FIL's and filled some of hers and she'd finish hers up with some things she wanted. I do all the Christmas shopping and stocking stuffing.  We do treats (we have relatively small stockings) and I buy them all for everyone, including myself.  It never even entered my head that my kids would do that for my husband and me.

 

Seriously, in your situation, I would just take it on myself to make sure my parents' stockings were filled and enjoy being Santa to them. You're not supposed to do Christmas gift giving with resentment in your heart toward anyone. Another option would be to have a conversation with your siblings about if it's time to stop doing stockings for everyone (my in-laws don't do them anymore), if it's time to end stockings for adults, or if it's time to divide up responsibility for parental stockings.  Be prepared for the possibility that their answer may not be what you want it to be.  If they choose divide up responsibilities you'll have to decide if you want everyone to pitch in $ and one person does the shopping, if each person is bringing a certain amount, or if you're going to rotate each year whose responsibility it is.

 

If the decision was sharing responsibility for that in my family, I would insist on cash from one of my 3 brothers and I'd do the shopping for him and me.  (He'd prefer that anyway.) My other two brothers would do a good job, so I would give them options.

We do our own stockings at my house for our kids and for dh and me. (I do ours too.) At my family's get together, the siblings all bring 1-2 items for each of the kids. My mother does not do them for the grandkids, but the siblings wanted to keep them up. They are really small. The grandkids each get a pair of socks from one aunt, and the others and I put 1-2 small things and some pieces of candy in them. Very low key, but we plan all of this out in advance. 

[Kassia]

THis is unrelated to OP. But I was just going to tell you that I fully fill mine at this point. Dh just doesn't, or he only does a small thing. I still fill his. But what I do is whatever I buy my kids, I get one for me (not of everything, but of stuff I use.) So when I buy everyone a new pack of ponytail holders, chapsticks, lotion, barrettes, bobby pins, etc, I get the one I like for me too. I get my kids a lot more than I get myself, but dh isn't a girl, so he doesn't know which chapstick flavor I like or which ponytails I like best. I always restock the girls on this stuff in stockings, so I just get myself restocked too. It makes me happy to have all my new goodies. 

 

I do this, too.  It's fun for me to fill my own stocking!  

[Meadowlark]

It sounds like for one reason or another some of these family members are not as functional in life--socially and in other ways--as you.

 

The more functional folks will always do more than a "fair" share of everything.

 

If you can, try to be grateful you have the capacity. I'm guessing you would not want your relatives' lives.

 

 

If you need to establish some boundaries do that, but try not to expend energy stressing over the behavior of others. It's futile.

 

I know, easier said than done.

 

Yes, you've hit the mark for sure. It's tough being the more functional one, because you get taken for granted. I've always been the rule follower, the one never in trouble and the one to do the right thing. And he's always been the one who does whatever the hell he wants with no fall out. I get engaged...not even a congratulations. His wife chooses to go to a football game over my (first)baby shower...no big deal. He writes me a scathing email that totally belittles me...it's my fault somehow.  We exchange gifts for the kids and one year he decides not to buy my kids a gift without even telling me...okay, that was awkward.   It goes on and on. I guess this is a much deeper issue than just stockings. It's my brother once again doing whatever he wants and me trying to make up for him. 

 

ETA: We haven't had a relationship in about 5 years. We show up to Christmas for the sake of my parents. That's why I couldn't possibly bring this up to him-because it would turn into WW3 and somehow, be my fault again.

Edited December 28, 2017 by Meadowlark

[KungFuPanda]

I hang stockings for my kids and fill them. I hope to do it for grandchildren and any future fil or sil I may be blessed with. I hang a stocking for me and dh, but I only put a bit of the kids extra candy in it. I just like the stocking countvto match our family count. 😂 I enjoy watching my kids open gifts because it makes them happy. It doesn’t feel the least bit sad or awkward to not have my own stocking filled.

 

I think a lot of people hit a point in life where they are just over STUFF. There is rarely a gift I need or want that I haven’t managed to acquire the other 365 days of the year. After 45 years of stuff, I’d prefer if Santa would haul some things away with him. I’d much rather have a view of clean surfaces and NOT have one more thing to care for. I don’t need or particularly enjoy people watching me unwrap and react to things. It’s conpletely unnecessary and I’d hate to think my kids would fight over this.

 

So I ask the op, are you sure your parents care and want gifts? Or do they just enjoy having their family around and watching them enjoy the stockings and then take all of that stuff OUT of their house. I can imagine being a grandmother and having to pretend I LOVE the $5 figurine. I’d do it, but it’d be better if I didn’t have to.