What to wear to the hospital....as visitor/family member

[Ottakee]

I am once again holding down a chair at the hospital. This time it is Mother In Law. I have a padded wooden folding chair as this is a very basic, not modern, fancy hospital room.

 

Anyway, what do you wear to spend hours at the hospital? I want to appear neat and well put together but I almost need to wear my not cute tennis shoes due to the amount of walking I need to do to get to her room....as well as the fact I want to be able to take walks for exercise, etc.

 

I am a plus size mom as well which added to the not cute shoes makes it harder to figure out what to wear that is neat and put together but still super comfortable.

[desertstrawberry5]

Regular mom clothes.  tshirt dress, leggings, cute tennies. 

 

Edit:I would bring a shawl or cardigan, as hospitals can be cold. 

Edited August 22, 2017 by desertstrawberry5

[Daria]

Are you sleeping there?

[JFSinIL]

Hospital is one public (sort of) place where comfort outranks fashion. Wear those comfy shoes.  Wear what feels comfy to sit/walk in for hours at a time.  Take a seat cushion for that wooden chair (perhaps you could sneak a better chair out of another unused room?).  I have spent too many hours myself (as a patient) the last few years in hospital, and no one cares what you wear (as long as you aren't roaming the halls in a backless gown ;-)  make sure MIL has a second gown on as a robe (open in front) over the first rear-exposing gown.  Bring her house slippers too, for walking around. Much more comfy/stable than those socks they provide  - I am assuming whatever she is in for they may want her up and slowly walking soon?  Bring a small bag for your own washcloth, toothbrush, etc. so you can sneak in her bathroom and freshen up. And snacks.

Edited August 22, 2017 by JFSinIL

[Rebel Yell]

Leggings, tunic or tshirt dress, whatever shoes my feet need.

 

Do your hair and makeup if that's your usual thing, and wear a fun necklace, maybe a cute totebag. I prefer one larger totebag to a bunch of small bags, purse, umbrella, etc. looks more put together than dragging around a purse and three smaller bags, plus it's easier to grab and go.

[Ottakee]

Not sleeping here. I am no heavy for the leggings tunic look but that would be comfy.

 

I am rocking a nice mid size Thirty One tote that MIL bought for me. I have my devotions, Spanish workbook, pencil, paper, phone charger, and some snacks in there.

 

I just hate that I can't wear cute tennis shoes or most other shoes for much walking. I have cute merril sandals I can wear OCC. But if I wear them too long my feet really hurt.

 

If I could afford it I would do a stitch fix for hospital clothes :-)

[alisoncooks]

Also a plus-sized mom here.  When DH was in the hospital a lot, I lived in yoga pants from Walmart (they are "loose fit" - more fitted at the top and flare at the bottom).  Usually a t-shirt, hoodie, and tennis shoes.  A book bag with ipad/books/snacks.  That was it.  I never felt under-dressed...but I do tend to be more on the casual side of fashion. :p

[Hilltopmom]

Plus size here too. Lands end starfish pants or loose fit yoga pants & a t shirt with zip front cardigan over it.

Slip on tennis shoes.

 

No one cares what you're wearing. There's no fashion police ;) Go for comfort. Clean & neat is fine

[J-rap]

I'd wear pants that are looser and non-restricting, no belt, a longer shirt, and a warm sweater that buttons or zips.  Plus, super comfortable shoes that slip on and off easily, with socks.  (In case I want to take my shoes off completely.) 

 

Best wishes to you!  I hope it goes well for you and your MIL.

[G5052]

Don't feel bad about the shoes. I've spent lots and lots of time in hospitals, doctor offices, and clinics with DH. I've always worn running shoes or my orthopedic lace-ups.

 

Even in the summer, I layer. Pre- and post-op have been cold at every hospital I've ever been to, and you have to be able to manage your temperature comfortably.

 

I always wear comfortable pants as well.

 

I learned through hard lessons to throw a change of clothes and a few of my toiletries in the car. You may think you'll be staying shorter than you will.

[Garga]

I think it's important to look semi-pulled together around medical personnel as they do treat you differently if you look nice vs look slobby which is a terrible shame, but seems to be human nature.

 

I'm not sure what clothes to wear, but put on a tiny bit of makeup (for me that would mean liner and shadow and neutral lipstick) and make your hair look presentable to complete the look.

[vonfirmath]

I am once again holding down a chair at the hospital. This time it is Mother In Law. I have a padded wooden folding chair as this is a very basic, not modern, fancy hospital room.

 

Anyway, what do you wear to spend hours at the hospital? I want to appear neat and well put together but I almost need to wear my not cute tennis shoes due to the amount of walking I need to do to get to her room....as well as the fact I want to be able to take walks for exercise, etc.

 

I am a plus size mom as well which added to the not cute shoes makes it harder to figure out what to wear that is neat and put together but still super comfortable.

 

I would wear a comfortable shirt, comfortable pants and tennis shoes.  ARound here, you see people of all sorts wearing tennis shoes. Its no big deal.

[Ottakee]

I didn't bring my toiletries this time but often do. I have a small bag of that ready to go. This hospital is only 25 minutes from home so not bad...and 5 minutes from Walmart.

 

I need to focus on trying to find a good quality pair of shoes that look a bit nicer but are still comfortable for walking.

[TechWife]

Anything goes for families in hospital fashion! Comfort is key and no one expects families to look any certain way. The staff knows everyone is stressed and tired and they truly are just happy that the family is there.

[Pawz4me]

During DH's recent surgery and hospitalization I wore athleisure stuff -- black capris with an elastic waist and a stripe down the leg and a coordinating solid color, not tight fitting athleisure top. My thinking was that I wanted to be comfortable and not wrinkled. ;) I never worry about cute shoes, as I have foot issues and comfort is my only concern in that regard. I also brought along a big tote bag with my phone, Kindle, iPad, chargers, a sweater, water bottle, some pre-packaged crackers, etc.

[HSmomof2]

Plus size here, too. I also like the Lands End Starfish pants. I also like JCPenney's Ana leggings. They're thick and not skin tight and look nice with a tunic or long sweater, even plus size.

 

I have flat feet and will have plantar fasciitis if I don't always wear my orthotics. Of course they don't fit in cute little tennis shoes. I have Keen Mary Janes and the Keen Presidio tie shoe that I wear to work. I'm on my feet and walking all day, and I have no pain in these shoes. They are as comfortable as my athletic shoes. I think they're cute in a funky kind of way. 😊I do get compliments on them frequently.....

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Comfy pants (leggings/yogapants/flexible fabrics), loose comfy top. Wear the shoes that are most comfortable.   

 

 

 

Use your hair, make up, and mannerisms to look put together. Dress for comfort. 

[Familia]

Totally understand wanting to be uber-comfy and pulled together, I spent more than a month's time living in the hospital over the past 6 months.  

For me, I did not sacrifice foot comfort...I focused on the top.

Two things made me have what you want: often wore plain colored long sleeved t-shirts so that any scarves could go over them to both look pulled together and keep me warm in drafty rooms, and I bought a few hoodies that looked up to date and sporty/fun colored.  

What is your 'cute' look like usually?  Then, you can go from there down to comfy. 

 

ETA: Totally agree with PinkyandtheBrains, "Use your hair, make up, and mannerisms to look put together. Dress for comfort."

 

​P.S. Hope your MIL feels better soon and all goes well!

Edited August 22, 2017 by secretgarden

[Elastimom]

How about bringing a mini stool to let your leg/feet up to rest when you are sitting down?

[prairiewindmomma]

Pinky is on to something. I always upscale my plain comfy outfits by throwing on a statement necklace + a bit of lipstick.  I also think language & mannerisms go a long way.  That first minute of conversation with a specialist really cues them as to how to proceed in conversation. 

 

I tend to wear a variety of knit dresses, skirts, t-shirts, and slacks....just because I often end up sleeping in my clothes, and changing only when I shower.  

I used to alternate hospital bags, but I had the black based bag, and the navy based bag---and made sure that my one pair of shoes for that bag matched whatever.  I would have two bottoms and three tops, a cardigan for when the room got chilly, and five pairs of undies. 2-3 necklaces pack easily. That allowed me to mix and match outfits and rewear without needing to do laundry. If it turned into a longer stay, then I got reinforcement supplies from home or found a laundry facility.  There are a number of dry cleaners that will pick up from hospitals, launder and charge by the pound, and return items same day (in by 8, return by 6).    

[prairiewindmomma]

Target's Merona brand "softest scoop t-shirt" is really soft, with a nice sheen (seems dressy) and only $8.  I have 6-8 of these shirts, all in jewel tones, that I mix and match from.  They all pair beautifully off of dark bottoms--black or navy--and they are the key to my wardrobe.  The flowy bottom hides my belly.  They are very flattering!! 

[happypamama]

Comfy but not sloppy. Wear the comfortable shoes. A polo looks a little nicer than a t-shirt and is still comfy.

 

I vote for short sleeves but bring a sweater or something. Our hospital has temp controls per room, but I was still roasting all the time.

 

If you can read up on your MIL's medical issue, that will help with doctors taking you seriously. (Partly thanks to the Hive, the doctors figured out right away that I understood most of what they were saying. I definitely got treated like an intelligent human being. Maybe I would have anyway, but having a clue helped a lot.)

Edited August 22, 2017 by happypamama

[winterbaby]

I've never thought about any of this. I don't wear makeup, or own any jewelry, or style my hair beyond combing and pulling back, and have been on a severely limited budget for so long that anything that isn't sweats is my "dress up." And over the course of a great many encounters over many years in multiple locations, I can't recall having a problem with disrespect from medical personnel, for myself or for family members. Maybe it's down to the way I communicate. An educated, intelligent person can easily recognize a fellow educated, intelligent person, even in ratty sweats. If anything, I wonder if dressing up to deal with doctors may non-verbally communicate that you think they are higher than you, and cue them to respond accordingly, particularly if you come over as at pains to put your best foot forward in terms of behavior as well. The best way to prepare to deal with any professional is to be prepared to discuss the matter at hand as intelligently and knowledgeably as possible, not to powder your nose. Where are you guys encountering all these doctors and nurses who give a fig whether you're wearing "neutral lipstick" or "a statement necklace"? They're far too busy with the real substance of their job to play fashion police.

Edited August 22, 2017 by winterbaby

[Ottakee]

I need to go shopping. I need a wardrobe update anyway and those styles would also work for work. I need pockets though ...that is a must on my pants for my cell phone and keys are work.

 

So far all doctors and nurses have done very well.with communication. Sadly I have done this way too often between my kids, DH, MIL and work. I speak medicalease quite well

[Starr]

"A stich fix for hospital wear."  :lol:

 

I don't think anyone will focus on your shoes. 

[Oakblossoms]

I would be comfortable but not sloppy. Please do not wear perfume or essential oils. Even highly perfumed lotion or hair spray can be awful.

[Laurie4b]

I think it's important to look semi-pulled together around medical personnel as they do treat you differently if you look nice vs look slobby which is a terrible shame, but seems to be human nature.

 

I'm not sure what clothes to wear, but put on a tiny bit of makeup (for me that would mean liner and shadow and neutral lipstick) and make your hair look presentable to complete the look.

 

 I totally agree with this. If you have to advocate at all (and you likely will), looks do matter. They shouldn't but they do. 

 

I would go for the most comfortable "business" kind of look you can: pants elastic waist pants  and a nice nonwrinkle or knit top with decent jewelry. I agree with the make up unless you don't usually wear it. 

 

Bring a blazer or something like that with you for warmth, or a nice shawl or even a small throw blanket. 

 

I think the sneakers are fine, though you may want to bring a pair of slip-ons for when you are just sitting in the room. 

 

ETA: It's about implicit bias. There is tons of research on doctors and implicit biases toward specific populations (with an eye to asking how the medical profession can eliminate some of this.) You can't change your ethnicity or weight (two areas of implicit bias with lots of research done in the medical field) but you can change whether you look lower income or higher income. Higher income people get better treatment in general (wherever not just in medicine) than lower income.  That initial split second assessment is what I was agreeing with Garga about. 

Edited August 22, 2017 by Laurie4b

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I've never thought about any of this. I don't wear makeup, or own any jewelry, or style my hair beyond combing and pulling back, and have been on a severely limited budget for so long that anything that isn't sweats is my "dress up." And over the course of a great many encounters over many years in multiple locations, I can't recall having a problem with disrespect from medical personnel, for myself or for family members. Maybe it's down to the way I communicate. An educated, intelligent person can easily recognize a fellow educated, intelligent person, even in ratty sweats. If anything, I wonder if dressing up to deal with doctors may non-verbally communicate that you think they are higher than you, and cue them to respond accordingly, particularly if you come over as at pains to put your best foot forward in terms of behavior as well. The best way to prepare to deal with any professional is to be prepared to discuss the matter at hand as intelligently and knowledgeably as possible, not to powder your nose. Where are you guys encountering all these doctors and nurses who give a fig whether you're wearing "neutral lipstick" or "a statement necklace"? They're far too busy with the real substance of their job to play fashion police.

 

 

The same place I encounter doctors who talk down to me because I am female. Just the regular hospital. 

[Alice]

As a doctor, I don't think I've ever noticed what visitors are wearing or parents in the office are wearing for that matter. That said, I'm not really stylish myself so maybe I'm not a great example. Except for the few times that a Dad of a newborn will walk around in underwear even after I've come in the room to see a baby, I couldn't tell you what most people had on. I still try to be professional in those instances but it's still a little weird and awkward. 

 

I do sometimes comment on the clothes of my patients...but it's usually a pink tutu and princess crown or something similar that catches my eye. :) 

 

 

[winterbaby]

The same place I encounter doctors who talk down to me because I am female. Just the regular hospital. 

 

I've never experienced this. Of course, many doctors are women themselves. I see a lot of comments on this site about people disrespecting women or having to dress up to be respected, and as a woman who's not in a position to dress up in any case it's just completely outside my experience. I wonder sometimes if people perceive what they expect.

[prairiewindmomma]

It's exactly the implicit bias issue. Because it is immediate and unconscious, cuing through dress and communication is important.  Most clinicians are overworked, tired, and stressed which makes them tend to follow stereotypes. The information that I have to communicate as an advocate is important, and needs to be taken seriously.  I cannot underestimate this point.  I have had so many experiences where *I* was the first one to realize that there was an issue in a hospital setting (including a code blue situation with my nonverbal daughter during a transfusion) and my word needs to carry weight. I'm not an anxious, overly emotional woman who needs to be cared for by the patriarchy, iykwim.

 

My awareness of this issue has been heightened now that I live in a racially and economically divided community.  I hate seeing how white privilege works for me. :(

[prairiewindmomma]

winterbaby--I'm curious, what general geographic region do you live in?

[Ottakee]

I am seeing small biases here against the non white nurses, assistants, doctors, etc......sadly by my MIL who is non white herself :-(

[prairiewindmomma]

I am sorry, Ottakee.  

 

[Lizzie in Ma]

Speaking as one who has spent untold hours at the hospital bedside...

Yoga pants and a tunic type shirt which look nice and bonus, can be slept in.  Hoodie and shoes are Bob's from Sketchers. Cute and comfy.

 

Unsolicited advice, I always have the following in my go bag and many is the time I have been grateful for all of this list:

Decent kleenex

lip balm

dry shampoo

toothbush

extra underwear

baby wipes

2 extra charging cords and plugs

Kindle

Tablet

usb go cord with flash drives filled with tv shows, movies, teaching company lectures and audiobooks

Cheese and peanut butter crackers

seltzer ( I hate water)

protein bars

Ibuprofen (for me)

 

I am sorry about your mother in law.  :grouphug: :grouphug:

Edited August 22, 2017 by Lizzie in Ma

[Starr]

As a doctor, I don't think I've ever noticed what visitors are wearing or parents in the office are wearing for that matter. That said, I'm not really stylish myself so maybe I'm not a great example. Except for the few times that a Dad of a newborn will walk around in underwear even after I've come in the room to see a baby, I couldn't tell you what most people had on. I still try to be professional in those instances but it's still a little weird and awkward. 

 

I do sometimes comment on the clothes of my patients...but it's usually a pink tutu and princess crown or something similar that catches my eye. :)

 

Hint: Only wear a tutu if you want to be noticed! lol

[Ottakee]

Hint: Only wear a tutu if you want to be noticed! lol

I am sure that a mid 40s overweight mom in a tutu would be noticed.........and likely taked about in the nurses break room :-)

[Ottakee]

Another thing I need to add to my "go bag" is a set of headphones so I can listen to my audio book or other things without disturbing anyone.

 

10 1/2 hours in a padded folding chair is a LONG time..........esp. when I knew I had a very good audio book that I couldn't play.

[prairiewindmomma]

Have you seen the inflatable lounger couches for under $30? That's on my dream list....a comfy place to nap or sleep. I am sure the floors have scary germs but for longer stays with a kid--to have a couch/bed = awesome. The reclining padded folding chairs don't cut it.

[Janeway]

Just curious but, why are you spending so much time there? Is it something where the staff is inadequate and you need to take care of her?

[itsheresomewhere]

Just curious but, why are you spending so much time there? Is it something where the staff is inadequate and you need to take care of her?

Not the op but everyone should have someone there to advocate for them.

[Ottakee]

Just curious but, why are you spending so much time there? Is it something where the staff is inadequate and you need to take care of her?

Staff is good d but She had 7 different specialists come in yesterday. She can't remember everything they say and exact timelines of stuff. I am there to advocate.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I've never experienced this. Of course, many doctors are women themselves. I see a lot of comments on this site about people disrespecting women or having to dress up to be respected, and as a woman who's not in a position to dress up in any case it's just completely outside my experience. I wonder sometimes if people perceive what they expect.

I'd be happy to discuss this further in another thread. But I've had others directly witness the occurrences, and I was totally blindsided by the treatment. I can safely say I wasn't expecting to be treated as s hysterical mother/second class citizen.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Just curious but, why are you spending so much time there? Is it something where the staff is inadequate and you need to take care of her?

With my Dad and then with my mother, we had someone there as much as possible as an advocate. Nurses and techs are busy, information gets missed or forgotten by the patient sometimes.

[winterbaby]

I'd be happy to discuss this further in another thread. But I've had others directly witness the occurrences, and I was totally blindsided by the treatment. I can safely say I wasn't expecting to be treated as s hysterical mother/second class citizen.

 

I don't doubt that people sometimes have unpleasant encounters. I'm questioning whether people who are inclined to treat people that way decide whether to do so based on fashion statements. As a person who can't afford to dress up, I have to rely on my speech to relay where I am coming from, and I find it works just fine.

[scoutingmom]

With my Dad and then with my mother, we had someone there as much as possible as an advocate. Nurses and techs are busy, information gets missed or forgotten by the patient sometimes.

I am struggling with this right now. My husband had a stroke that hit his language skills. The first day he could not talk or write etc... he could just shake or nod his head. He is doing better now (a few days later), but they do not always take the time to listen. But We have young kids and I can't be there all the time.

[Ottakee]

I don't doubt that people sometimes have unpleasant encounters. I'm questioning whether people who are inclined to treat people that way decide whether to do so based on fashion statements. As a person who can't afford to dress up, I have to rely on my speech to relay where I am coming from, and I find it works just fine.

I don't think it is so much dressing up but looking clean and neat. Then again some family members will be coming straight from work, etc

[Ottakee]

I am struggling with this right now. My husband had a stroke that hit his language skills. The first day he could not talk or write etc... he could just shake or nod his head. He is doing better now (a few days later), but they do not always take the time to listen. But We have young kids and I can't be there all the time.

Sorry to hear about your husband. I remember that stress when my DH had his heart attack. I was torn between the hospital and home. It was so hard. If you can find others to care for the littles, I would do the hospital.