S/O sneaking food: Feeling like the food police

[LLMom]

For those with large families and on a tight budget. I feel like the food police. I have 5 children still at home ages 20, 17,15,13 and almost 12. They are hungry a lot. But we are having problems with kids eating all of something and then there not being any left for others. I feel like the food police, constantly telling them to please leave bagels or whatever for others. I have plenty of healthy options like fruit, nuts, veggies,cheese, but they would rather eat all the snack or breakfast items but then they get mad because someone ate it all. I end up being the bad guy because I should make them stop. (According to the kids who are missing out)

[SparklyUnicorn]

Every time I go shopping and I buy a few of those items (the carby stuff usually) it's inhaled first.  I only have 2 kids, but yep they eat this stuff in a day or two and then complain there is no food.

 

I don't police it, but once it is gone, then it is gone.  I guess the only other thing I could do is just stop buying it. 

 

I feel like I live at the grocery store.  Your food bill must be massive.  My 15 year old eats enough for three elephants. 

 

(obviously this is not helpful, but you aren't the only one!) 

[maize]

Maybe a food store? Have a bin with the favored stuff and a collection cup for money (or tokens of some kind); other food is free to eat (so no one goes hungry) but if they want the snacky stuff they have to buy it.

 

We have the same issue where easy to grab-and-go stuff, especially carbs, disappears almost the moment I get it home from the store.

[MysteryJen]

When things are gone, they are gone until the next shopping trip. This is how my kids learned to bake.

 

I only shop once a week and I only buy what is on the list. 

[Acadie]

Would it help to write in Sharpie on the package, each person gets 1, or 2, or however the math works? I'm guessing a hungry person can easily justify having one more bagel from the bag if the whole picture is not absolutely clear, i.e., how many were purchased in the first place and how many each person can have. 

 

I like the idea of encouraging baking too.

 

Amy

[zoobie]

Basket for each kid? If they run out, they can buy themselves more or eat whatever else is available. 

[fairfarmhand]

The only thing that's worked around here is to portion things out.

 

Dd1 These are your snacks. Her gallon ziplock bag would include 2 bagels (or whatever the ration is) 3 cheese sticks, 1 pack of pop tarts, etc. I also have bought individual snack sized baggies and portioned things out with people's names on them.

 

Yes, it stinks, but it also stinks to be on the receiving end when siblings with no self control eat all the cookies in one day and the people who can moderate get 2,

[LLMom]

Great ida on portioning things out. I can have them help on shopping day. How can we handle bagged items like chips and cereal. I have one child who devours cereal.

[fairfarmhand]

Great ida on portioning things out. I can have them help on shopping day. How can we handle bagged items like chips and cereal. I have one child who devours cereal.

 

Gallon sized bags or quarts. Scoop it out with a measuring cup.

 

Remember you can reuse the baggies for certain items.

[zoobie]

Great ida on portioning things out. I can have them help on shopping day. How can we handle bagged items like chips and cereal. I have one child who devours cereal.

 

A box for each? I portion crackers and things out in snack bags (then reuse) or containers. Otherwise they're all gone as soon as it's opened. I have a scale out on the counter because I'm crazy when I bake/cook, but I've also harped on the older kids measuring out a portion into a bowl/plate and only eating that. They were better about it when they were younger. 

[Anne in CA]

I would simply buy a box of cereal for a kid who inhales it, but it's theirs and no more. Same with chips. I might buy a box of cereal for each kid and a bag of chips for each kid, label it, and be firm. But I am a meanie. I do have one kid who eats much, much more than the other two and would eat a whole container of ice cream in a night leaving none for anyone else. I had to look that teen in the eye and tell them we are having the ice cream together as a family, it is not yours to snack on. Period. Which would enrage her at the moment, but that way everyone got ice cream without me buying five cartons. Because she would have eaten a carton a day. The other thing is that maybe you could put a freezer in the garage out of sight where you do stick extra things? We had a small freezer in the dh's shop and I put things in there that I knew she would want but that were for everybody and even though everyone knew those things were in the shop somehow no one bothered them there. 

[SKL]

If they can respect each other's property, then maybe buy a specific type of snack / cereal for each and tell them to keep their hands off each other's stuff.

 

If they don't respect each other's property, I would probably just not buy the stuff, but rather let each kid go get his own goodies at the store with his own pocket money.

 

If it runs out, it's gone.  As long as there is something edible in the house, you don't have to please everyone all the time.

[amy g.]

My solution would be to quit buying any of it ever. It isn't like kids *need* bagels and breakfast cereal.

 

No more need to police. And if you feel like this isn't fair to the kids how about letting them pick out a box of cereal on their birthday.

 

Eggs are cheaper and less likely to be inhaled.

[City Mouse]

i don't have as many teens/young adults, but I purchase less favored items. I get tortilla chips or pretzels over potato chips and goldfish because a certain someone inhales those. I buy specific flavors of items that the inhaler does not like such as Flaming hot cheetos.

If bagels are a problem, they can eat toast for breakfast, or oatmeal. We keep rice crispies and grape nuts or other unsweetened unfavorite cereals.

[saraha]

I am the food police.  I have tried all kinds of tricks and ideas, and it always comes back around to being the food police,  This is my fate in life. :lol:

[SparklyUnicorn]

i don't have as many teens/young adults, but I purchase less favored items. I get tortilla chips or pretzels over potato chips and goldfish because a certain someone inhales those. I buy specific flavors of items that the inhaler does not like such as Flaming hot cheetos.

If bagels are a problem, they can eat toast for breakfast, or oatmeal. We keep rice crispies and grape nuts or other unsweetened unfavorite cereals.

 

Haha...I do this for myself.  Meaning, I buy junky carb foods I'm not tempted by.  : )

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Basket for each kid? If they run out, they can buy themselves more or eat whatever else is available.

This is what we do.

 

My 2 have a bin in the fridge. Dd's is on the bottom shelf and a bit covered. Ds is less likely to go looking through her bin if he has to work at it.

 

Extra kid has a small cabinet, but his is for school stuff. He doesn't snack after school and isn't here on weekends.

[regentrude]

Great ida on portioning things out. I can have them help on shopping day. How can we handle bagged items like chips and cereal. I have one child who devours cereal.

 

Separate box or bag for each child

[regentrude]

I have plenty of healthy options like fruit, nuts, veggies,cheese, but they would rather eat all the snack or breakfast items

 

Could it be that it is a question of calories and they are simply hungry?

 

My athlete teen DS consumes 4,000 calories per day. There is no way he could get that in by eating fruits and nuts and veggies. The only way to manage this caloric need is by providing large amounts of carbohydrates. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

How did they get this far, in age, without remembering their siblings?? They should mentally parcel everything into the number of family members...anyone who eats ALL of anything should be sent to the store to replace his siblings' share, with his own money.

 

They are probably wanting grab-and-go carbs, when they go for bagels instead of fruit and cheese. Young people these ages are always hungry. Along with making them remember others in the house, I would have them take turns at baking.

 

Share. Contribute. These are "adulting" skills, to reference another thread...

 

Chips and cereal are empty calories, and so expensive! Might consider not buying these at all. Swap in sweet potatoes, bean soups or refried beans in tortillas, oatmeal instead of cold cereal.

[unsinkable]

Could it be that it is a question of calories and they are simply hungry?

 

My athlete teen DS consumes 4,000 calories per day. There is no way he could get that in by eating fruits and nuts and veggies. The only way to manage this caloric need is by providing large amounts of carbohydrates.

I certainly didn't get the impression that LLMom is only feeding her kids fruits, nuts and veggies. That seems like their choices if they want a snack or something to hold them over between meals.

[regentrude]

I certainly didn't get the impression that LLMom is only feeding her kids fruits, nuts and veggies. That seems like their choices if they want a snack or something to hold them over between meals.

 

She said "They are hungry a lot."

 

My teen is hungry an hour after a meal. Not just an appetite for snacks or veggies - actually hungry. As in, another plate of meat and pasta please. A handful of nuts and some veggies won't tide him over until the next scheduled meal.

Edited February 22, 2017 by regentrude

[unsinkable]

How did they get this far, in age, without remembering their siblings?? They should mentally parcel everything into the number of family members...anyone who eats ALL of anything should be sent to the store to replace his siblings' share, with his own money.

 

They are probably wanting grab-and-go carbs, when they go for bagels instead of fruit and cheese. Young people these ages are always hungry. Along with making them remember others in the house, I would have them take turns at baking.

 

Share. Contribute. These are "adulting" skills, to reference another thread...

 

Chips and cereal are empty calories, and so expensive! Might consider not buying these at all. Swap in sweet potatoes, bean soups or refried beans in tortillas, oatmeal instead of cold cereal.

I think you need to dial it back. She's sharing a problem and asking for practical advice. You're first sentence is quite an unnecessary indictment.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think you need to dial it back. She's sharing a problem and asking for practical advice. You're first sentence is quite an unnecessary indictment.

 

Welcome back.

[unsinkable]

She said "They are hungry a lot."

 

My teen is hungry an hour after a meal. Not just an appetite for snacks or veggies - actually hungry. As in, another plate of meat and pasta please. A handful of nuts and some veggies won't tide him over until the next scheduled meal.

Most people are hungry a lot. Then they eat.

[unsinkable]

Welcome back.

Why would you say that?

[regentrude]

Most people are hungry a lot. Then they eat.

 

Which seems to be precisely the problem with the OP's teens: they eat.

 

And I was suggesting that the offerings might not satisfy the teen's caloric needs.

Edited February 22, 2017 by regentrude

[wintermom]

It's not easy, and there is a fair amount of "policing" and educating that I need to do. I really try to encourage them to include a protein with a carbohydrate to increase the satisfaction component. So sure, that's a bowl of cereal with milk a good deal of the time, but at least the crackers will last longer if their number is halved and they are topped with peanut butter or cheese. 

[Catwoman]

I know that others have already mentioned portioning out the snacks, and I wanted to mention that I was in Sam's Club yesterday and they had the translucent plastic cereal containers that could work well for you if you want to give each kid a certain amount of each cereal or snack food.

 

Also, it can be more expensive to buy the individual snack sized bags of snacks, but it's often cheaper in the long run because one person doesn't sit in front of the TV and eat the entire big bag of chips (yes, I'm looking at you, dh! :glare:) You could portion out the little bags in those inexpensive covered plastic bins and each kid gets his or her own bin.

Edited February 22, 2017 by Catwoman

[Catwoman]

For those with large families and on a tight budget. I feel like the food police. I have 5 children still at home ages 20, 17,15,13 and almost 12. They are hungry a lot. But we are having problems with kids eating all of something and then there not being any left for others. I feel like the food police, constantly telling them to please leave bagels or whatever for others. I have plenty of healthy options like fruit, nuts, veggies,cheese, but they would rather eat all the snack or breakfast items but then they get mad because someone ate it all. I end up being the bad guy because I should make them stop. (According to the kids who are missing out)

Okay, this is going to sound ridiculous and I'm sure I'll get flamed for it, but if your budget is limited and the kids aren't eating the healthy stuff, maybe you should ditch some of the healthy stuff and buy more of the foods they will actually eat.

 

I know you'd rather see them eating nuts than bagels or cereal, but nuts are expensive and you could buy a lot of bagels and cereal with that money -- and bagels aren't terrible for them (and they can make sandwiches with them so they could still get some cheese and veggies,) and you can try to choose cereals that aren't too junky.

 

Just a suggestion. :)

[Carrie12345]

For those with large families and on a tight budget. I feel like the food police. I have 5 children still at home ages 20, 17,15,13 and almost 12. They are hungry a lot. But we are having problems with kids eating all of something and then there not being any left for others. I feel like the food police, constantly telling them to please leave bagels or whatever for others. I have plenty of healthy options like fruit, nuts, veggies,cheese, but they would rather eat all the snack or breakfast items but then they get mad because someone ate it all. I end up being the bad guy because I should make them stop. (According to the kids who are missing out)

 

I still have issues with my 6 and 9yos, but my teenagers generally police themselves and each other, and sometimes the little kids.  When things are gone, they're gone, and it's happened enough that they don't want it to keep happening.  And they know I'm not going to defend them when they're an equal offender.  Don't tell me to make "them" stop so you can get the extra brownie!

 

Of course it's still not perfect.  For some items, there's no amount I could buy that would wind up left.  If I were to buy 5 bags of chips, they'd disappear just as well as 1 bag of chips.  So we don't really buy chips unless we're feeling like having a chip night and knowing they're all going to be inhaled.  They are, however, allowed to buy as much chips (or whatever) as they want to for themselves.

 

But there are compromises.  The house is always stocked with breakfast items and/or ingredients for breakfast items. It's what they all like best, it's cheap, it's easy, and it generally fills them up.  They can't just not eat.

[Katy]

If you don't want to portion, you can just ban snacking.  Being hungry is good for you.

 

ETA:  I don't mean starve anyone.  I mean if you're hungry an hour after eating, you could probably do with a large glass of water and waiting it out.  In 20 minutes the hunger will pass.  Obviously if someone is underweight this does not apply.

Edited February 22, 2017 by Katy

[regentrude]

If you don't want to portion, you can just ban snacking.  Being hungry is good for you.

 

ETA:  I don't mean starve anyone.  I mean if you're hungry an hour after eating, you could probably do with a large glass of water and waiting it out.  In 20 minutes the hunger will pass.  Obviously if someone is underweight this does not apply.

 

The bolded: not if you are an active, growing, especially male, teen.

[Katy]

The bolded: not if you are an active, growing, especially male, teen.

 

If the boy isn't underweight or on the low end of healthy, waiting until meal times to eat won't hurt him.

[Melissa in Australia]

We do rationing here and have done since the oldest were very young. We vary rarely have chips in the house, one of my older children use to weigh each portion out to the gram. Each child got exactly the same. Cookies have a daily limit of 2 bananas a daily limit of one etc. apples are freely available as is milk.

[mamaofgirls]

My solution would be to quit buying any of it ever. It isn't like kids *need* bagels and breakfast cereal.

 

No more need to police. And if you feel like this isn't fair to the kids how about letting them pick out a box of cereal on their birthday.

 

Eggs are cheaper and less likely to be inhaled.

 

This is me too!

 

Your children are old enough to make a sandwich, salad, slice an apple with peanut butter, make a fried egg or bowl of oatmeal. We eat a lot of air popped popcorn as a snack - its cheap and I can buy the organic in bulk (just like oats). The ones older than 16 can use their own money to buy junk food :)

[StephanieZ]

Well, one practical idea would be to get one of your kids to learn how to bake bagels, etc. I have a bagel recipe bookmarked and am determined to learn how to bake bagels. They are just so dang yummy. One of my more frugal friends, who is also really into healthy eating . . . bakes pretty much all their family bread from scratch. I've seen her whip up 2 loaves of deliciousness in a few minutes. She's magic. I want to learn to do that. . . It is super cheap compared to purchasing baked goods. Especially if you buy your supplies in bulk at Sam's, etc. 

 

 

When I was a kid, Mom went shopping once a week. She'd always buy one box of ice cream. When it was gone, it was gone until next week. Once we were teens, she'd also buy a bag of Doritos and rarely, a bottle of pop. She might buy a box of french bread pizzas . . . Again, when they were gone, they were gone. In general, the treats lasted 1-3 days. After that, I'd often bake brownies, etc. :) 

 

Food storage in our home growing up was one normal sized fridge and a couple kitchen cabinets. No big pantry. No overflow fridge. No dedicated freezers full of stuff . . . And no one "ran to the store" to grab a desired ingredient unless it was some crisis surrounding a holiday meal, lol. You ate what you had, and that was fine. 

 

So, to me, I think it'd be totally fine to buy some of the treats once a week (or less often is fine, too), and when they are gone, they are gone.

 

Surely, talk to the kids and try to help them learn to be considerate and to share reasonably . . . but there's only so much policing you can/should do for teens/older kids, IMHO. You might make a real point of reminding the kid(s) who often get the short end of the stick that you just bought x/y/z, so they might want to "get a bite before it's gone" . . .

 

Allowing each of them to have a bin/bag/shelf seems reasonable, too, and good practice for living with roommates in college, but you might get stuck policing that, too . . .

 

Encouraging baking/making of desired baked goods like bagels, coffee cakes (to replace pop-tarts), etc, might really make a big difference in your budget and their satisfaction . . . Perhaps if there are 3-4 of them who'd be able/interested/willing to bake, each one could bake once every other week, making a big batch of some yumminess that could last a few days . . . If you ID some economical but tasty recipes, that might help get things going . . . 

 

Oh, and as far as sweet cereals, for the first 10-15 years of parenting, we only "stocked" healthy cereals . . . We'd buy a single box of a sweet cereal for birthdays and other rare special occasions (vacations, etc.), and it'd be gone in a day . . . That makes a big difference in snacking on cereal!! They are not gonna' gorge on raisin bran (in my family), but give them a box of Fruit Loops, and it's gone in a day for sure. So, if that's something that might be happening in your home, then I'd totally go with letting each kid pick one box of their favorite cereal, mark on it with Sharpie whose it is . . . and maybe only buy, say, two boxes per kid per month (or whatever is reasonable to you). Mark them when they enter the house . . . Then, keep a good supply of healthy and economical cereals that you are happy to keep in supply . . . This would only work if the kids will respect each other's stuff . . . If they won't, then, well, you got another whole mess to deal with, and I'd probably NOT try to do it this way, as I wouldn't want the conflict/fights/policing.