VENT

[Moxie]

My 14DD has decided that her contribution to "cleaning for Thanksgiving" is to MariKondo all her drawers. Because her drawers in her bedroom are super important to the large family dinner process.

[historically accurate]

My 14DD has decided that her contribution to "cleaning for Thanksgiving" is to MariKondo all her drawers. Because her drawers in her bedroom are super important to the large family dinner process.

haha! I do that too - I get so paralyzed with the thought of everything to do that I organize the linen cabinet or something...

 

I think A Slob Comes Clean has a podcast or two on the subject.

[Carol in Cal.]

Ha, I had a friend whose husband did this.  She would say, Help me clean up for company, and he would agree, and then she would find him in the garage sorting screws into cigar box type containers that he had had for several years but had not yet implemented.  Because, you know, everyone would want to see them.  Right.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Sometimes cleaning can seem nebulous and overwhelming.  Maybe that is how your child is subconsciously feeling?

 

I get like that, too.  My brain locks up with something overwhelming to me so I tackle something that seems less so to compensate.

 

Maybe you could ask her to do one specific task the two of you could do together.  Then ask her to do one specific task that she knows how to do well because she has done it many times before (not because you think it should be easy) and give her a specific time you need her to start the task.  When she finishes that task maybe ask for her help with something else, giving very clear instructions.

 

 

Edited November 23, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[Guest]

Veterans need to prepare us a little better for the true trial that 14 year old girls can be. Sigh. I feel your pain.

[Bambam]

I added a note in LARGE letters to the frig.

 

 

How long will this job take?

 

Do I have time to complete it before I have to do something else?

 

Because some one always started making cookies about 20 minutes before they needed to leave for their dc class.

 

Now, I do love cookies, and if they would have been done, and you could take a batch of freshly baked cookies to your class to share, that would be different. 

 

 

[Tap]

I have a husband and 2 teens with ADHD/ADD. I live this life LOL..  Which really translates into Hyperfocus on the unimportant.

 

The only way I do house-wide chores now is with a list.  I grab the white board (or a piece of paper) to make a big impact.  I write out all the things that need to be done, with some details.  Then I put on check boxes for initials of who did what.  The accountability and acknowledgement really helps to keep people moving around here.  Sometimes, people will claim a chore to be saved for them, so we make sure that we accommodate that.   (ie ds doesn't mind doing floors but hates bathrooms---dd18 doesn't mind bathrooms but doesn't like the kitchen, etc) Dh usually disappears and does the outside chores or does laundry, which take forever to complete, so his don't usualy make it to the list, but I try to ask him what his plans are, or else he will start changing the oil in one of the cars, instead of cleaning up the patio or garage (we have some smokers who visit, so try to make a decent outdoor place for them).

 

Example: 

Clean bathrooms

 counters

 light switch/door knobs

 tub/shower

 garbage

 polish mirrors/faucets

 shake out rug

 mop floor

 

One person doesn't have to do all of one task, others can pitch in.  So, I may grab a garbage bag and go to every room collecting garbage, so I will mark that off the list.

 

I include some simple things like 'wipe down light switches' or 'clean staircase railing'. Things that take maybe 5 minutes, so the person gets the reward of checking an item off. 

 

I also allow people to keep adding to the list as they see things.  Like today I noticed that our return air vent is Covered in dust.  Odd for us, because we have a whole house filter.   So, that will get added as an uncommon task, but that needs to be done.

 

[Guest]

Oh, she has a list. She wants to do this first. And, since she is 14 and prone to ragey tears, I'll vent here and let her finish her room.

[zoobie]

DH once decided to shred 10 years of papers and bills on Christmas Eve when we were frantically cleaning and cooking. I was upstairs supervising baths and PJs and come down to boxes dragged out from the basement and dumped in the middle of the living room.

 

My "helpers" today keep wandering off. I've now threatened to get a hotel room and run away.

[trulycrabby]

I asked DH to help clean one year, and what did he do? He brought up clothes boxes from basement storage and started unpacking the boxes. Thirty minutes later there were clothes strewn all over the bedroom because he did not know where to put anything. :zombie:

 

If he were anyone else I would say this was a calculated move to get out of ever doing housework again, but in his mind, cleaning up means cleaning out the basement storage room. :zombie:

 

I repacked the boxes and donated all the clothes.

 

This year, the kittens have been "helping" by launching themselves from the back of a chair into the Christmas tree, about twenty times a day. The water bottle sprayer has only taught them to wait until I am in the next room to jump. Needless to say, all the ornaments have been taken off; we will be having a lights only tree this year. :zombie:

[Mimm]

My 14DD has decided that her contribution to "cleaning for Thanksgiving" is to MariKondo all her drawers. Because her drawers in her bedroom are super important to the large family dinner process.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

This sounds exactly like my oldest! And she would be offended if I complained that she didn't help out. :)

[Annie G]

I love, love, love my dh. But we have totally different ideas about how to prioritize cleaning. I was recently gone for a few weeks and he dusted the mantle, washed everything inside the fridge, and organized the t shirts in the drawer.  Detailed the car that isn't driven past November 1st.

 

Did not sweep the floors or clean the bathroom.  :confused1:

 

I'm sure I do plenty of things that drive him nuts, too. 

Edited November 23, 2016 by Annie G

[Guest]

I'm known for being a clean freak but even I sometimes fixate on one unimportant detail while NOT doing something exceedingly obvious. Common diversions include, but are not limited to:

 

Suddenly needing to clean all the oven racks until they look brand new

Ditto inside of the fridge.

Organize a bunch of paperwork; pay bills.

Vacuum behind and beneath the couch cushions.

Clean the aquarium.

Clean the glass in the china cabinet.

[Tanaqui]

Last time we had to do a big push to clean the house, I ended up... spending 5 hours off and on removing limescale from the toilet.

 

In my defense, it now looks great. (Then I washed all the windows until they sparkled. Honestly, thank goodness for the children or we'd still have stuff on our floors.)

[Miss Tick]

One year when we started cleaning for guests i found dh patiently rewinding all of our cassette tapes. I think it is a panic response of some kind.

[prairiewindmomma]

This thread makes me feel so much better. The first time a family member did the not-helping-cleaning thing I thought they had lost their freaking mind. Apparently this is a "thing".

[HS Mom in NC]

Yeah.  Sounds about right.  This is why some animals eat their young. Years ago, when I was hosting Thanksgiving for 20-30 people each year, I developed a checklist for what was to be done each day, in order and when it needed to be completed.  I assigned the jobs and handed everyone their own copy in a plastic sleeve with a wet erase marker.  That way the knew exactly what my criteria would be for whether or not they were done.

This year both of my older kids is hosting a different Thanksgiving event and I'm just showing up and eating. It's glorious!!

[Sara in AZ]

Ha, I had a friend whose husband did this. She would say, Help me clean up for company, and he would agree, and then she would find him in the garage sorting screws into cigar box type containers that he had had for several years but had not yet implemented. Because, you know, everyone would want to see them. Right.

Absolutely. This is the kind of crap my husband pulls.

[Ausmumof3]

I do this kinda stuff. I hate doing a mass rushed not detailed clean so I start cleaning out cupboards.

dh's prone to the garage thing too.

[KungFuPanda]

With people like this you need a written list of jobs. "Pick two." Or, "Honey, I need you to pick up and vacuum the living room before you do the next drawer. Your drawers are not mission essential."

[maize]

My mom does this. Lots of folks coming over? Start by organizing the linen cupboard!

 

I think for her it's a smallish task that can be finished and give her a sense of accomplishment so she can then tackle the larger, more challenging tasks.

[Guest]

I asked DH to help clean one year, and what did he do? He brought up clothes boxes from basement storage and started unpacking the boxes. Thirty minutes later there were clothes strewn all over the bedroom because he did not know where to put anything. :zombie:

 

If he were anyone else I would say this was a calculated move to get out of ever doing housework again, but in his mind, cleaning up means cleaning out the basement storage room. :zombie:

 

I repacked the boxes and donated all the clothes.

 

This year, the kittens have been "helping" by launching themselves from the back of a chair into the Christmas tree, about twenty times a day. The water bottle sprayer has only taught them to wait until I am in the next room to jump. Needless to say, all the ornaments have been taken off; we will be having a lights only tree this year. :zombie:

HaHa, they have trained you so well!

[Guest]

I asked DH to help clean one year, and what did he do? He brought up clothes boxes from basement storage and started unpacking the boxes. Thirty minutes later there were clothes strewn all over the bedroom because he did not know where to put anything. :zombie:

 

If he were anyone else I would say this was a calculated move to get out of ever doing housework again, but in his mind, cleaning up means cleaning out the basement storage room. :zombie:

 

I repacked the boxes and donated all the clothes.

 

This year, the kittens have been "helping" by launching themselves from the back of a chair into the Christmas tree, about twenty times a day. The water bottle sprayer has only taught them to wait until I am in the next room to jump. Needless to say, all the ornaments have been taken off; we will be having a lights only tree this year. :zombie:

 

I've got to wonder if the water bottle sprayer might work for 14 year olds. I'm tempted. Might try that one on Monday during Algebra.......

[Spryte]

I am stuck on the phrase "prone to ragey tears."  

 

So *that* is what has been going on!  DS is about to turn 13.  Holy cow.

 

As for cleaning, I'm happy when he unloads the dishwasher and tidies up the main floor a bit.  He'll mostly help out if I tell him e.x.a.c.t.l.y. what to do, how to do it, and promise free time afterward.

 

Loving the checklist idea...

[Melissa in Australia]

Ha, I had a friend whose husband did this.  She would say, Help me clean up for company, and he would agree, and then she would find him in the garage sorting screws into cigar box type containers that he had had for several years but had not yet implemented.  Because, you know, everyone would want to see them.  Right.

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Melissa in Australia]

When we have visitors out house turns into that scene form Pride and Prejudice - you know where they are all rushing around then quickly sit when the guests arrive...

[kiwik]

I recently sent the kids away for 4 days while I ripped out and replaced the kitchen. I spent a lot of time telling myself to focus on one thing at a time and not panic. Otherwise i probably would have had clean well sorted tools and no kitchen or have started 20 jobs and not finished any. Sometimes stuff is just overwhelming.

[kitten18]

Oh, she has a list. She wants to do this first. And, since she is 14 and prone to ragey tears, I'll vent here and let her finish her room.

Is this the dementor? 😆

[Julie Smith]

My Dh and kids don't do things like that. 

 

But, occasionaly in the past when quests arrive Dh will give them a tour of the house and include the darnest things. 

"Come look in the draw under our oven. Our pet rats got out two days ago and they were found in here just recently. (Please make note of all the rat poop in said draw.). 

 

"This is the junk room (In a never gone in corner of an unfinished basement). Know that I see it I should really do something about it."

 

"Here is the bathroom (Upstairs bathroom that wouldn't be used for such a short visit, not cleaned.). The taps were installed wrong so hot is cold and cold is hot". 

 

:confused1:  :glare:

[Guest]

Is this the dementor? 😆

Yes!!!!!

[wintermom]

My Dh and kids don't do things like that. 

 

But, occasionaly in the past when quests arrive Dh will give them a tour of the house and include the darnest things. 

 

"Come look in the draw under our oven. Our pet rats got out two days ago and they were found in here just recently. (Please make note of all the rat poop in said draw.). 

 

"This is the junk room (In a never gone in corner of an unfinished basement). Know that I see it I should really do something about it."

 

"Here is the bathroom (Upstairs bathroom that wouldn't be used for such a short visit, not cleaned.). The taps were installed wrong so hot is cold and cold is hot". 

 

:confused1:  :glare:

 

That is so funny, and at the same time so scary. NO unauthorized "special tours" of my house ever again!  :laugh:

[Dmmetler]

My almost 12 yr old prepared for grandparents to arrive by cleaning out the dresser in her closet. Yeah. Big help, kiddo.