Have you been harassed or "gang stalked" for homeschooling?

[treestarfae]

I recently saw a video by a homeschooling mother who thinks she's being harassed in her community because she homeschools.

 

Anyone experience this?

[poppy]

Why would anyone even care?? There must be more to the story.

[Spryte]

No.  

[regentrude]

No. Second pp: why would anybody care?

[Arcadia]

I had snide remarks from pro-public school neighbors who are angry with anyone who sends their kids to charter schools, private schools or homeschool. But it is only when they see you, no stalking involved.

 

I have a girlfriend who was stalked by a guy (stranger) and police was involved since intention to cause harm is assumed. Totally different from ocassional nasty comments.

[AK_Mom4]

Wow. No. just the opposite in fact. I have had people tracking me down to talk about the benefits of homeschooling.

 

I agree - must be more to the story for it to reach the level of stalking".

[TravelingChris]

No I haven't seen it nor experienced it in the 20 years I did homeschool (they all graduated now).  My only taste of ongoing harassment was because of a totally different issue, handicapped parking.  Specifically, while my mother was dying of ALS and needed to be in a wheelchair, at least one neighbor was upset that the apartment management made a handicap spot for us to park the car.  She had to go to doctors and we liked to take her to a park or to a nature trail.  At least one nasty neighbor thought it was unnecessary or something.  They made very rude and hateful comments. 

[marbel]

I would love to see that video.  Honestly, my first reaction is that the woman is a bit crazy.   Unfair characterization, given the low amount of information I have, but it's hard to imagine.  

 

I've received loads of critical comments from people, but that's as far as it's ever gone.

[Selkie]

No, it hasn't happened to me.  

 

Harassment, I could definitely believe.  Many people are heavily invested in public schools, whether it is administrators, teachers, school board members, or other parents.

 

Stalking?  I'd need to hear more details to believe that, but people are weird, so who knows?    

 

Maybe it's the Teachers' Union (said only partially in jest, since I live in a state with a large Teachers' Union that is notorious for its bully tactics).

[Anne in CA]

Over the years there have been posters on the boards who felt threatened by their churches if their church had a private school and the people in the church were annoyed with them for home schooling and not sending their kids to the private school. There have been different stories over the years of Catholic home school moms who really felt their parish was "out to get them" because they home schooled and didn't  support the parish school, and I believe it to a point. I have relatives who viewed my home schooling as an unfair short cut to a good education. They sent their kids to private school and felt it was unfair that our family wasn't spending as much as them but getting just as good results. They made a lot of snide comments. But stalking?? 

[Loowit]

Harassed or stalked? No.  In my 10ish years of homeschooling we have gotten mostly positive reactions to homeschooling except for a few family members on DH's side that learned to keep their comments to themselves.  That was until recently.  We started going to a new church that has a lot school teachers.  I have gotten a lot of grilling questions from some of them and negative comments when they don't agree with what I am teaching/not teaching.  The other Sunday a guy started quizzing my middle with math questions during meet and greet time.  DS is great at math, but doesn't like to be put on the spot.  Fortunately the majority of people don't act that way.

[Slartibartfast]

No, there are a ton of homeschoolers in my area.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm not sure what gang-stalked means in this context.

 

As far as harassment, I've had people go off on me verbally, telling me that I was ruining my children and society a couple of times.  One was an older lady (retired teacher from what she said) who saw us at the pool during school hours and lit into me.  Seriously, the woman was almost spitting on me in her anger.  It was way over the top for a chance interaction with a stranger and I just figured she was unbalanced in some way.  I backed away with my dd and after spending some time in another part of the pool, we left.  I wasn't stalked, but since I had primarily gone there for the area where she was hanging out, and she didn't appear to be budging even after twenty minutes, I decided that I'd rather leave than listen to her ranting.  I had another (the children's librarian) tell me in detail how I was ruining my kids through homeschooling.  I don't think that was to the level of harassment, though as it wasn't as vitriolic.  In fact, the librarian later became a fan of our homeschooling. 

 

Most of my not as positive interactions with people on homeschooling are subtle.  I get the "Oh, I could never do that" and "what about socialization" comments (not as a genuine question).  And I've gotten the side-eye "Oh, you're the homeschooler" comments a couple of times at the park.  But I just laugh those off and wouldn't consider them even close to harassment. 

Edited November 4, 2016 by Jean in Newcastle

[Ali in OR]

Never. Homeschooling is very common in Oregon. Even if you talk to a family with kids in public school, odds are pretty good that they homeschooled one or all of their kids in the past, are considering it, have family, friends, or neighbors who homeschool, etc.

[....]

I had snide remarks from pro-public school neighbors who are angry with anyone who sends their kids to charter schools, private schools or homeschool. But it is only when they see you, no stalking involved.

 

We got this from neighbors/random people when we lived in Missouri, for some weird reason...   :confused:   In fact, the kids and I had an ongoing joke about it every time we crossed the state line into Missouri.  Once, we had only been in the state for like 1 minute and the lady in the drive-thru window made a comment about why the kids weren't in school.  

 

In Texas, no one has said anything at all about us homeschooling.  There are so many people who homeschool here.  We couldn't believe they actually had "homeschool stores" when we first moved here.  

[mamakelly]

No never. No one has ever made any kid of remark about us homeschooling. San Diego has tons of homeschoolers though...

 

[FaithManor]

Not buy the community. We took verbal abuse several times from dh's sister and brother which ended with us having no contact for years. His brother and sil toned down after a decade of estrangement so now we do one meeting of 2-4 hrs. once per year in a neutral, public place. Still remaining estranged from his sister.

[LucyStoner]

No, I haven't experienced that or witnessed it happening to others.

[LucyStoner]

I am going to assume gang stalked means harassment by a group, perhaps in a family or social group, rather than an individual and is just oddly worded. 'Cause there sure ain't no street gang that is going to care about homeschooling.

 

Imagine what an anti homeschooling gang would look like😂

Edited November 5, 2016 by LucyStoner

[MSNative]

I am going to assume gang stalked means harassment by a group, perhaps on a family or social group, rather than an individual and is just oddly worded. 'Cause there sure ain't no street gang that is going to care about homeschooling.

 

Imagine what an anti homeschooling gang would look like😂

I'm picturing a mob armed with bubble tests and number 2 pencils!

[LucyStoner]

I'm picturing a mob armed with bubble tests and number 2 pencils!

You WILL go to school or we will use this yard stick to box your ears.

[mamiof5]

Not at all.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Stalked sounds dangerous so no. The object of quite a bit of derision by groups I belonged too? Yes.

[Guest]

No. I've had unfavorable reactions, but I wouldn't call it harassment.

 

I don't know what gang-stalked means.

 

Yes. What exactly is gang stalking? 

[trulycrabby]

No, but in this community you can't throw a feather without hitting a homeschooler. Lots and lots of them.

[laundrycrisis]

I had one neighbor who was really upset when we decided not to send DS1 to kindergarten, and she just wouldn't let it go.  She had been trying to convince me for a solid year that he should go to K the next year.  When we stuck to HS she called me over and over again with various arguments to make.  I wouldn't call it stalking, but it was weird to have someone who wasn't even a close friend so over the top invested with what we decided for our kid. 

[Janeway]

It has never happened to me, but I could see it happening. Maybe in a small town where everyone is cozy with each other and do not mind boundary stomping, especially if you are related. Do you have a link to the video?

Edited November 5, 2016 by Janeway

[Um_2_4]

It never reached that level for me, but ostracized, yes. I was a teacher at a private school. When I did not send my child there I was approached by the current principal (as was my DH). (Forget the fact that I knew that they could not handle him, he was reading at 3yo and would have been bored to tears in Kg at 5yo. I knew from working there the teacher they had running the KG program and knew it would not work. Plus I actually LIKE having my kids home. :lol: ) 

For several years, acquaintances kept "hounding" me to put them in. I was going to make them weird!

[knoxinsox]

Currently, my neighbor is campaigning hard for my kids to go to public school. "They would blossom!!" Super annoying!! We should not give them a voice and force them into sports and programs they aren't interested in. And of course, we aren't qualified to teach, even though we both have degrees and I taught in private schools for 3 years. Also, socialization. Lord have mercy!!

 

Texas has been the worst--so much kickback--we were never questioned in SC. Everyone assumes we do no schoolwork and lay around watching TV all day because their friends brothers ex-wifes sister pulled her kids out and they did nothing and Texas law is so lax. They don't want to hear that I have never met a homeschool family like that and most of the homeschoolers I know are sending their kids off to good colleges with scholarships.

[Anne in CA]

It never reached that level for me, but ostracized, yes. I was a teacher at a private school. When I did not send my child there I was approached by the current principal (as was my DH). (Forget the fact that I knew that they could not handle him, he was reading at 3yo and would have been bored to tears in Kg at 5yo. I knew from working there the teacher they had running the KG program and knew it would not work. Plus I actually LIKE having my kids home. :lol: ) 

For several years, acquaintances kept "hounding" me to put them in. I was going to make them weird!

These stories I have heard and believe. I think they are fairly common. This is really different from stalking. 

[Anne in CA]

Currently, my neighbor is campaigning hard for my kids to go to public school. "They would blossom!!" Super annoying!! We should not give them a voice and force them into sports and programs they aren't interested in. And of course, we aren't qualified to teach, even though we both have degrees and I taught in private schools for 3 years. Also, socialization. Lord have mercy!!

 

Texas has been the worst--so much kickback--we were never questioned in SC. Everyone assumes we do no schoolwork and lay around watching TV all day because their friends brothers ex-wifes sister pulled her kids out and they did nothing and Texas law is so lax. They don't want to hear that I have never met a homeschool family like that and most of the homeschoolers I know are sending their kids off to good colleges with scholarships.

I have never met a home school family that was not FAR exceeding any state standards. I only truly believe that they are out there because people on the board linked to enough articles and gave enough anecdotal evidence that I believe in them. If it were not for the board I would think that people who said their neighbors "home schooled" but just watched TV all day were like the people who've seen Big Foot. 

 

I do have a waitress who works at my restaurant that used to wear a gorilla costume and wave at traffic on deserted mountain roads... Maybe that should be in a different thread though.

[RioSamba]

You WILL go to school or we will use this yard stick to box your ears.

When I first read the thread title I imagined a West Side Story kind of thing. Of course the Home School gang comes out on top. They have more time for dance and martial arts!

[Audrey]

Only once, in the very beginning. The town near us is very small. The kindergarten teacher was also the grade 1 and 2 teacher. Ds was given the array of testing for pre-kindergarteners and the school's and teacher's suggestion was that he be placed in grade 2 (this is a barely 5 year old, mind you) and we said no. Their other suggestion was to keep him at K and put him with the grade 2 group in the classroom. We said no. We'd discussed these possibilities before and were not happy with them. The discussion with the school and teacher did nothing to assuage our concerns about the quality of instruction and general intellect at the school. We left and did not enrol him.

 

When it went around that we were homeschooling (because the school does receive notice of all homeschoolers in their area), the teacher accosted me at the mail (which is a series of mailboxes in the front part of the grocery store) and began questioning me about homeschooling. Clearly, she disapproved, and she kept saying that she was qualified, experienced, knew what children needed. I finally had enough (and she was blocking my way to get into the store), so I told her I felt qualified to teach my own kid. She retorted that SHE had a BA in education and why would I possibly think *I* was qualified. So... I said, "I think my PhD trumps your little old BA any day. If I can teach graduate students to deconstruct Shakespeare, I think I can handle teaching my 5 year old to read. Bless. Your. Heart." I don't think anyone ever questioned her before. I made her cry. She's never questioned me since, and no one else has either.

[Audrey]

It has never happened to me, but I could see it happening. Maybe in a small town where everyone is cozy with each other and do not mind boundary stomping, especially if you are related. Do you have a link to the video?

This explains most things in a small town.

[Valley Girl]

Clearly, she disapproved, and she kept saying that she was qualified, experienced, knew what children needed. I finally had enough (and she was blocking my way to get into the store), so I told her I felt qualified to teach my own kid. She retorted that SHE had a BA in education and why would I possibly think *I* was qualified. So... I said, "I think my PhD trumps your little old BA any day. If I can teach graduate students to deconstruct Shakespeare, I think I can handle teaching my 5 year old to read. Bless. Your. Heart." I don't think anyone ever questioned her before. I made her cry. She's never questioned me since, and no one else has either.

 

Good for you. She was way over the line. It's a shame it had to come to that point, though. I understand people having questions and concerns. (I have questions and concerns about my ability to homeschool all the time.) But she was just something else. Bet she thought twice before she ever did that to anyone else.