WWYD - neighbor tells his dog to get me

[Spy Car]

I'd advise going to the local police station and speaking with the local community service officer, or precinct captain, or watch commander and explaining the threading nature of the situation and making a report.

 

Hopefully they'd send officers by to see this guy, because this is precisely what good community policing is all about.

 

Sorry that you are dealing with this. It is wrong. Don't change your route. Don't accept this.

 

Bill

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd ignore him.  Like the dumb arse school bully. 

 

Sorry you have to put up with that.  That really stinks.

 

 

[kiwik]

I would get advice from the most local police you can find. For all you know this guy is known to them. His behavior is threatening and although it will probably stop at that having something on record never hurts.

[Carrie12345]

 Do you think he might actually let the dog out to attack you?

 

What she thinks he will or will not do doesn't have any influence on what he will or will not do.  He's clearly a crackpot, and crackpots are unpredictable.

 

In PA, verbal harassment is illegal, specifically including ethnic intimidation.

"Penalty: Disorderly conduct is a third-degree misdemeanor, punishable by up to 1 year in jail, “if the intent of the actor is to cause substantial harm or serious inconvenience, or if he persists in disorderly conduct after reasonable warning or request to desist.†Without this established intent, disorderly conduct is a summary offense, punishable by up to 90 days in jail."

 

I am so sorry this is happening.  It is not the victim's job to learn to "handle" their harasser, analyze their motives, or calculate their degree of risk.  And certainly not when the victim is part of a group that is regularly targeted by the unhinged.

[OneStepAtATime]

What she thinks he will or will not do doesn't have any influence on what he will or will not do.  He's clearly a crackpot, and crackpots are unpredictable.

 

In PA, verbal harassment is illegal, specifically including ethnic intimidation.

"Penalty: Disorderly conduct is a third-degree misdemeanor, punishable by up to 1 year in jail, “if the intent of the actor is to cause substantial harm or serious inconvenience, or if he persists in disorderly conduct after reasonable warning or request to desist.†Without this established intent, disorderly conduct is a summary offense, punishable by up to 90 days in jail."

 

I am so sorry this is happening.  It is not the victim's job to learn to "handle" their harasser, analyze their motives, or calculate their degree of risk.  And certainly not when the victim is part of a group that is regularly targeted by the unhinged.

I am fully aware that what what she thinks he will do will not have influence on what he actually does.  Thanks for the lecture.  I asked my question because she is actually there and may have a better sense than internet people of possible actions on his part.  I love dogs but they can cause serious injury.  I am concerned for her safety as she works out what to do.  If what her neighbor is doing is illegal where she lives then she absolutely should report it to the police but as others have posted what he is doing may not be considered illegal.  If not then reporting it may net her nothing.  Even reporting it may not stop an incident.  Whether it is legal or not, her safety is at risk.  I am worried about her safety.  Sorry if my question offended anyone.  

[Spy Car]

Threating a person with a dog is likely a crime in any jurisdiction in the country.

 

Threatening a Muslim woman because she is a Muslim likely pushes the action into a hate-crime, which amplifies the seriousness of both penalties and enforcement.

 

If a meeting with a ranking officer at the precinct level doesn't yield a promise to "talk with the guy," then the next steps are to involve city council, mayor, and district attorney with the possible involvement of the Muslim Affairs Council, who the OP might wish to call for guidance in any case on how to handle this. This is why the MAC exists.

 

Don't stand for it. This is very wrong.

 

Sorry you are dealing with a bigot.

 

Bill

 

 

 

[QueenCat]

When I lived in a HOA, the board was actively involved with the local sheriff. It's not about bylaws, it's finding someone to intervene. Harassment of one resident who pays HOA fees by another would certainly be something they would agree to, at the very least, be open to discussion. YMMV.

 

Interesting...... I've been on two HOA boards. We would have told the person with the complaint to call the sheriff. We would have only contacted the sheriff ourselves if several homes were involved but we would not have actually worked with any of the families ourselves. Legally, we did not have the right to do that.

[Mabelen]

I agree with many of the posters. Record the incident, report the incident. This is not ok. Hugs.

[Jacquelyn in NC]

 

In YOUR case, if I had to walk past him, I would wear headphones, carry pepper spray and ignore the son of a b!tch. And his noisy dog too :p.

 

 

 

I would wear headphones, but DON'T HAVE MUSIC ON! If he's just trying to get a reaction from you, thinking you can't hear him might be enough to make him be quiet.  Your ears, however, are one of your best lines of defense if the dog were to get out.  You want all of your senses in play when you put yourself in an uncomfortable or hostile situation.

[Guest]

What I was told in a similar scenario is that they can do anything they want on their own property with their dog. Many elderly train their watchdog to bark when strangers approach. I am a stranger, and I expect a dog to bark at me when I walk by its yard.

 

If the dog comes off the property, the owner has to change his ways. We have a neighbor whose son trained his dogs to jump on strangers, and just laughed when I asked that he keep the dog from jumping on my then preschoolers when they walked out of the front door. The PD made him choose...court and removal of dog or fence. Since the dog was there to protect a senior citizen living alone, he fenced. That dog threw itself against the fence for years whenever anyone walked by.

Edited October 6, 2016 by Heigh Ho

[MyLittleBears]

What a jerk! I wonder if this dog could be won over by treats? It would be a joke on him if the dog just loved you!

[Amira]

I am so very sorry this is happening. It is not acceptable and I think it is worth contacting the police. Reporting incidents like this is important because it helps the law enforcement understand how often (or rarely, as the case may be) this happens and that understanding is a necessary part of combating the problem.

[lynn]

Some people are just born idiots. I would just ignore him.

Edited October 6, 2016 by lynn

[mamaraby]

What I was told in a similar scenario is that they can do anything they want on their own property with their dog. Many elderly train their watchdog to bark when strangers approach. I am a stranger, and I expect a dog to bark at me when I walk by its yard.

If it was just a barking dog? Sure. I can't speak for the OP, but I imagine if it was just the guy's dog barking at her, she wouldn't give it another thought because as you point out, dogs bark. But that's not the only thing that's happening here. It's what the neighbor is saying in conjunction with the dog barking that could qualify as disorderly conduct in my state.

[poppy]

What I was told in a similar scenario is that they can do anything they want on their own property with their dog. Many elderly train their watchdog to bark when strangers approach. I am a stranger, and I expect a dog to bark at me when I walk by its yard.

 

If the dog comes off the property, the owner has to change his ways. We have a neighbor whose son trained his dogs to jump on strangers, and just laughed when I asked that he keep the dog from jumping on my then preschoolers when they walked out of the front door. The PD made him choose...court and removal of dog or fence. Since the dog was there to protect a senior citizen living alone, he fenced. That dog threw itself against the fence for years whenever anyone walked by.

 

Barking is OK.  "Go get her" is not.

Just like, holding a gun on your porch is not a problem, but telling someone who is holding a gun "you should shoot that lady!"  would be a pretty serious problem.

[MercyA]

Wish I was there to walk with you (and maybe bring some other people along, too, to put a little healthy fear in him). What a jerk.  :mad:

[HRAAB]

I am so sorry.  Some people are just horrid.  Whether or not he is actually committing a crime, I think it is worth reporting.  Harassment like this needs to be made known.  Too many people brush it off and don't believe it is an issue.

[idnib]

I'm sorry. This is just terrible.

 

I'm with those who say you need to let the police know what's happening. Don't be silent about it, even if you decide to change your route. Speak up and let people know.

 

:grouphug:  from a fellow Muslim.

[laundrycrisis]

I would get video of his behavior.  And then I would personally confront him with the video, and tell him what an ass he's being, and that if it happens again, the police will be involved.  Also, that if his dog comes at me, his dog will need veterinary care.  

[TravelingChris]

So many people are rude.  WHat he is saying is more than just rude.  You don't have to like anyone but trying to train your dog to attack them is totally out of line. 

 

I think whether the police would do anything probably depends on the jurisdiction. In cities with high crime rates, I doubt they would come out.

[Guest]

Barking is OK. "Go get her" is not.

Just like, holding a gun on your porch is not a problem, but telling someone who is holding a gun "you should shoot that lady!" would be a pretty serious problem.

'Go get 'm' is pretty standard command for a dog. I grew up with that, living rural where folks such as prison escapees or theives would be on someones property stealing at night, and it would be shouted from the house at the pooch. Basically its reminding the dog that the intruder is not a friend, and reminding the human that the dog has done its warning job and is likely trained to proceed should the intruder not vacate the premises.

 

It sounds like the dude is training the dog not to be friendly with people who want to become familiar to it. The command is not meant for the human.

Edited October 7, 2016 by Heigh Ho

[Angie in VA]

Wish I was there to walk with you (and maybe bring some other people along, too, to put a little healthy fear in him). What a jerk.  :mad:

 

 

Speaking of putting fear in him, I was taught that assault was the instilling of fear (and battery involves contact w/ one's person). So while he might be free to do what he would like on his own property, legally speaking, I would think telling a dog to go get the OP would be a form of assault. But what do I know? Nothing. 

 

ITA w/ not engaging him at all, wearing headphones w/o playing music (out of curiosity, I'd want to see if he still did it if he thought you couldn't hear him), and having your smartphone ready to video him. 

 

I'm sure if the police paid him a visit, he'd say he was just kidding, if he admitted it at all. While I'd want it documented (video, and calling the police), I'd also worry that he would be even uglier and enjoy knowing that it bothered you. What a jerk. 

 

And, lastly, it's not to my credit, but part of me would want to get video of it and put it on the internet and maybe share it w/ the local news station so it would be on tv. Funny how people act when they [think they] can "get away with it". I do not approve of internet bashing, but sometimes a little public shame brings about change. Not proud of it, but there it is. 

Edited October 7, 2016 by Angie in VA

[AmandaVT]

'Go get 'm' is pretty standard command for a dog. I grew up with that, living rural where folks such as prison escapees or theives would be on someones property stealing at night, and it would be shouted from the house at the pooch. Basically its reminding the dog that the intruder is not a friend, and reminding the human that the dog has done its warning job and is likely trained to proceed should the intruder not vacate the premises.

 

It sounds like the dude is training the dog not to be friendly with people who want to become familiar to it. The command is not meant for the human.

 

But the neighbor is only saying " good girl, go get her" to the OP, not to others that walk by. :-/ 

[umsami]

I would call the non-emergency line and report it, if only to make a record of it.  I stopped wearing hijab two years ago, but I was harassed so many times, threatened, and never reported.  In retrospect, I should have, so that there would have been a record of the hate crimes.

 

Another option is to call CAIR and ask for their advice.  Most branches have an attorney on staff who may be able to advise you or work as a liaison with the local police department.  

 

As an FYI to those reading, an added aspect to this is that many Muslims are afraid of dogs.  That's one of the reasons dogs were used to intimidate at Abu Ghraib.  No idea if the OP is, but it's not unusual.  Culturally in many Muslim countries/families, dogs are often just "working"/protection animals and are not the companion animals that many Americans see them as.

[gardenmom5]

I am so sorry.  Some people are just horrid.  Whether or not he is actually committing a crime, I think it is worth reporting.  Harassment like this needs to be made known.  Too many people brush it off and don't believe it is an issue.

 

apparently, even on this forum ....

[zoobie]

apparently, even on this forum ....

Yeah, it makes me queasy and so, so sad. :(

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Yeah, it makes me queasy and so, so sad. :(

 

But not surprised.

[Spy Car]

On the pro-active side, another very powerful tool that I forgot to mention (Aleppo moment?) is getting a restraining order.

 

Not difficult to do (here at least), that will get this joker in front of a judge with some 'splaining to do (been introducing the boy to I Love Lucy on Prime :D).

 

Getting a restraining order is a serious wake-up call for a harasser. Here, they are ordered to turn in any firearms they may own prior to facing a judge. And judges are not amused by hate-crimes and intimidation of women with dogs.

 

Then he's the one who needs to change his route and slink around like the cowardly reprobate he is, while you walk tall enjoying your rights as an American.

 

Bill

 

 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

'Go get 'm' is pretty standard command for a dog. I grew up with that, living rural where folks such as prison escapees or theives would be on someones property stealing at night, and it would be shouted from the house at the pooch. Basically its reminding the dog that the intruder is not a friend, and reminding the human that the dog has done its warning job and is likely trained to proceed should the intruder not vacate the premises.

 

It sounds like the dude is training the dog not to be friendly with people who want to become familiar to it. The command is not meant for the human.

What?

You just gave an example of how "Go get 'em" is basically a command to attack. How is using that phrase when someone walks by on the sidewalk not a threat?

[mathnerd]

I would video tape the encounter(s). I'd call the police and make a report of his threats/harassment/behavior. Show them the video(s). If you don't feel super scared right now, I'd go ahead and walk there a few times to get a couple videos before making the report . . . just so things are super clear from the get go. 

 

 

This. Get a video of the encounter on your cell phone. Make more than one video so that there is no chance of people misinterpreting what is happening as "a joke" or someone "having fun that was harmless". Then, call the police and show them the videos. The man is using the dog as a weapon.

[Spy Car]

What?

You just gave an example of how "Go get 'em" is basically a command to attack. How is using that phrase when someone walks by on the sidewalk not a threat?

 

Right. This is an attack command. It is a threat. That is plain as day.

 

Bill

[TravelingChris]

I taught one of my dogs, a mini poodle, the go get them command but I was training him to bark and scare away deer, not humans.  I don't think that is an appropriate command to use against any humans except a criminal coming to attack you like a home invasion robber. 

[ktgrok]

Oooooo!  Give me a can of pepper spray, too, and I'll walk beside you.  We'll go arm in arm.  What a jerk that man is.

 

I'd still file a report with the police, to have something on record.  

 

A friend of mine had a stalker.  He didn't "do" anything except follow her around Walmart.  She used to go there daily after dropping off her son at school.  He'd follow her from aisle to aisle and just look at her.  His looks got increasingly threatening--frowny faces.

 

She went to the police with the man's licence plate.  They called him in to the station and said, "We know you're stalking this woman.  If anything happens to her, you will be our prime suspect."  He denied it, of course, but he stopped going to Walmart every morning and following her around.

 

This. The police won't arrest him, but they very likely will tell him to knock it the heck off. And a man in uniform saying that carries more weight with idiots like your neighbor. He very likely WILL back off. 

 

My ex husband had a girlfriend once that was harassing me, calling me at work, and then she said something about making a scene in front of my son. That was the last straw, and I called the non emergency police line. They couldn't do anything about it right then, it was my word against hers, etc, but they did very clearly tell her to STOP. And she did. 

[ikslo]

What a jerk! I wonder if this dog could be won over by treats? It would be a joke on him if the dog just loved you!

He would probably accuse her of trying to poison the dog or something. Then she'd be the one in trouble.