Social media and teens moving on

[TwoEdgedSword]

If your teens do/did Facebook, have they "moved on" from FB to other social media platforms like Snapchat or Instagram?

If so, have those been positive or not such great influences in their lives?

Do you think these other platforms like snapchat and Instagram are on the way out, only to be replaced by something else?

 

Right now, our teens only have FB and Google plus, which is not very active. Not sure if we want to add any more yet.

 

Thanks!

[Guest]

Lots of teens have moved off FBI because the grown ups came in My son is niw 21 and uses FBI for messaging but that is not public. Also I know he uses instagram and snapchat and probably some others.

 

These platforms tend to be dominated by young people, not parents, and from our experience, it can be a little too close to lord of the flies.

 

You can google and find out a lot about the apps that young people use and why. It's worth knowing about--and hard to keep up with. New apps come out all the time and different subcultures gravitate toward one or another.

[nd293]

Dd is nearly 16. She only bothered to get Facebook this year but I don't think she uses it much. She and her friends mostly use Skype to chat.

[diplomum]

I have a fifteen year old who prefers Instagram. She has a private account for friends and family where she posts personal pictures, and a public photography account which she keeps free of people shots and muddles locations for security reasons eg. she posts a pic from a trip a few weeks after and mixes old and new photos. I am on Instagram mainly just to follow her. My 16yo daughter uses Facebook but mainly for messaging friends re homework etc. My oldest is a boy and away at college and he almost never checks his Facebook but uses Skype a lot and WhatsApp to talk to me. I've asked them not to install Snapchat as I think the temptation to do or post something spur of the moment and stupid is too great, for themselves and their friends.

 

I feel that they do use social media differently. My generation uses it more in the way we used to use a phone. We get on to check on something, write a note, maybe pass some time. But for them it's more of a constant background thing, both more and less important in a way. I've been really trying to observe how they use it differently and I wouldn't be surprised to see it continue to evolve as this teen generation becomes tomorrow's innovators and workforce.

[Ali in OR]

My girls are both on Instagram. I will try to get 16 yo to get a FB account if she makes it into the school musical again as all the info, announcements, photos, etc show up there, but I don't see her using it for anything else.

[Lizzie in Ma]

One dd that loves FB, one refuses.  Both have Instagram and Snapchat.  Lots of family on Instagram, so I enjoy it too.

[Closeacademy]

Mine like Tumblr but then they are into anime and follow people on there and they can message back and forth with friends.  

[marbel]

My daughter uses snapchat.  She is on facebook and reads updates from family members, but she doesn't post on it.    We talked about posting stupid photos, etc., on snapchat and about keeping privacy settings tight.  She is sensible so I am not too worried about her.  

[kewb]

My teens barely check their facebook accounts. They have a couple of groups they use facebook messaging for and even those have mostly moved to group me which is a texting thing. Snapchat is where they do most of their social media stuff followed by instagram.

 

I view it as somewhat negative because of the amount of time they devote to it. They would say it is positive.

Edited October 3, 2016 by kewb

[Jan in SC]

My 15 and 16 year old use snapchat all the time. It's a bit annoying, but they are new to school this year, so I'm being patient with it. They both have Facebook, but only read it occasionally and never post.

All three (including my youngest teen now) of them have Instagram, but never use it. They all FaceTime with friends, but the they never use skype. (Well, one Skypes a voice teacher once a week.)

[Rebel Yell]

DDs 21, 16, 14.

 

All have Facebook, 21 uses it the most, 16/14 mostly for updates in groups like youth group or musicals, but they mostly just use Facebook to keep in touch with the grown ups and family.

 

All have snapchat, Instagram, and iPhones, so iMessage is preferred for messaging when all in the group have iDevices.

 

The 16 is most active, she uses iMessage or snapchat for everyday chatting or texting. Instagram is more for following accounts like makeup artists or Lucha Underground, and posting occasional photos from events or a seasonal selfie.

[Bluegoat]

My eldest at 11 isn't on any social media yet, but her cousin of the same age is on Instagram and Snapchat.  Her mom seems to have some pretty constant issues about her posting inappropriate pictures and such.  It isn't that she doesn't understand the idea that some things aren't great to post, or that she is trying to be rebellious, it seems to be more that when it comes down to making a judgement, she doesn't see that what she is posting looks different to an adult.  Which is why my 11 year old isn't on any social media....

 

I do think the teens use them all rather differently than we did - teens of course have always had a tendency to be peer focused, but I find a lot feel a bit lost when they aren't connected.

Edited October 3, 2016 by Bluegoat

[Cinder]

Ds1 (21yo) has FB but only uses it for the message feature; he's never posted. Ds2 (18yo) doesn't have a FB, and neither uses instagram or snapchat. They chat/message their friends via Steam.

[Anne in CA]

My 21yo ds uses no social media at all. He's just not that social, lol. My 28yo dd uses Facebook quite a bit as well as Instagram. My 16yo dd has almost completely abandoned Facebook in favor of Twitter and Instagram.

[Mabelen]

My 20 year old has Facebook, Tumbler, Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter as well as other messaging and communications platforms. She doesn't post much on Facebook, she is more active in Twitter and the others. I think they have been positive in building community and keeping in touch with friends but they are all too much of a time sucker for sure. It takes a lot of discipline, good habits and perhaps some maturity not to get sucked into the social media vortex.

[theelfqueen]

My 21 year old is on Facebook but I don't know how much he uses it (cause I'm not on FB). I know he uses snapchat... he has asked me to add that one but I haven't. I'm on IG and so is FDIL ... I know she used FB and Snap chat too... my 15 yr old doesn't do social media. Nor my 11 year old ... but neither of them has smart phones. They do have Xbox live friends.

 

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[redsquirrel]

ds1 is 16.  Only one of one of his friends is on facebook.  He is not. He is very active on instagram, which he knows is owned by facebook, and he also uses snapchat and twitter to connect with friends.  He was very annoyed this weekend b/c that one friend who is on facebook is apparently difficult to contact w/o facebook. He was considering getting a facebook account because they are working on a project and he can't get in contact with her. But he changed his mind and they are just going to email

[Mabelen]

My 12 year old doesn't have any social media accounts even though several of her friends do. She has been asking to have accounts for "something" for the last year but I am holding out for as long as I can. My oldest opened an Instagram account for our dog and both my girls post on that account, so that satisfies a little of that itch for the time being.

[TravelingChris]

My kids all have facebook.  I know my youngest has instagram too.  I think my middle uses facebook the most.  Older uses it more than the youngest.  But I know youngest uses it too.  All three of my children have both friends and older people on their facebook.

[Pawz4me]

DS20 started with Facebook and has moved on to Snapchat and Instagram. I think sometimes he uses Twitter, too. He still checks Facebook occasionally (once a week or so) to keep up with older relatives. But by and large kids in his age range don't use FB much any more. DS17 never did FB (it was already "out" with teens/young adults when he started using social media). He uses Instagram mostly.

 

Yes, I suspect that eventually all of those will go the way of the dinosaur and be replaced with something newer and shinier. Which will eventually be replaced by something else newer and shinier. And on and on.

[Lady Florida.]

Ds 19 never really got into facebook. He was desperate to sign up when his friend moved away and he wanted a way to stay in touch, so I let him get an account as soon as he turned 13. He used it at first but never really got fully involved. He only uses it now for group info and occasional family connections. He does use messenger but as a pp stated, that's private.

 

He and his friends prefer Tumblr and Snapchat. A few use Instagram. Most of their non-personal contact communication is through texting, even group texting. They also use Steam chat while playing games.

Edited October 3, 2016 by Lady Florida.

[MysteryJen]

No facebook here. Also no instagram or twitter (dd2 had some bullying issues last year and deleted her account on instagram and twitter seems to encourage spouting off without thinking), but dd1, dd2 and ds1 all have snapchat. I was concerned at first, but really have come to appreciate the positives of Snapchat. Pictures are gone, you don't have to post or check stories, just a quick way to keep in touch. We have not had any problems at all.

I imagine teens will start to move on as parents are starting to invade Snapchat. Not me, though; this board is my only social media. :laugh:

[freesia]

My kids text their friends via Skype.  One also personal messages via Pinterest.  I have mixed feelings--I love that they can keep in touch with their group of friends and have social chats during the school day.  I don't like that no one "moves on"--i.e. friends that might have drifted apart for good and real reasons are still connected and able to be toxic.  But that is just something we are dealing with.  I don't like Snapchat for that reason--I can't track it and we did have a much older boy who was acting inappropriate iwth my then 12 year old and it was necessary for me to know what was going on.  At this point instagram is just one more thing for me to monitor and we aren't doing it as they only ones we know who are doing it are a lot older than dd.

 

So, think carefully how much social media you allow your young teen--b/c you will probably want/need/find yourself having to monitor it and it can get overwhelming.

 

Interestingly, many of the 20 somethings we know have recently said they left social media b/c of the negative social environment they found it created.

[TwoEdgedSword]

So I get that snapchat is aimed at the teens and they don't want parents in there.

What about Instagram and following friends of your teens? How is that perceived?

On FB I'm friends with some of my kids' FB friends and have even received quite a few friend requests from them.

But I wouldn't want to follow my teens friends on Instagram if this is not normally done.

 

Thanks!

[TwoEdgedSword]

And is google plus dead? I'd like to remove accounts if nobody is using them. My kids don't get on there much and say it's pretty quiet when they do. Usually they don't just bc they are so busy with studying and sports.

[redsquirrel]

So I get that snapchat is aimed at the teens and they don't want parents in there.

What about Instagram and following friends of your teens? How is that perceived?

On FB I'm friends with some of my kids' FB friends and have even received quite a few friend requests from them.

But I wouldn't want to follow my teens friends on Instagram if this is not normally done.

 

Thanks!

 

Well, as far as I can tell with instagram, the "rule" that I have seen from my son's peers and my peers is that it is fine to follow your own kid (in fact, dh and I insisted that we are able to follow every instagram account he has) but we may not 'like' or comment on his posts and we may not follow his friends. I did ask around among my local friends and that was the feedback I got. But it seems to be different for different areas.  For example, my SIL follows and posts to her dd's accounts and actively gets involved in disputes, follows her friends etc.  My son would find that mortifying. He's fine if we are there and he knows we will read every post and comment by his friends. He just doesn't want us to draw attention to our presence or monitoring. That said, he's never had an online dispute or any 'friend drama' ever. My SIL and her niece seem to have never ending amounts of it.

 

 

And be aware that it is super easy to create multiple instagram accounts. My son and a few of his friends have a separate account for posting their artwork.

 

I've never bothered with google plus so I don't know anything about it.

[LucyStoner]

FB is dead to most of the teens I know.

[TwoEdgedSword]

For those of you who use Instagram for yourself, why do you like it or prefer it over FB (if you do)?

I learned that FB acquired Instagram and they seem pretty similar, Fb being more broad than photos.

I set up an account for myself to see if I liked it and it bugged me that the search page offered a lot of partially clad women.

Is there a way to disable that?

[Ravin]

Google+ is tied to gmail and to YouTube. DD has a Google account for those (which currently has my birthdate on it because at some point after we set it up they changed some rules to 13+). This week DD is getting a FB account (she turns 13 tomorrow). Several of her friends are on there. She uses YouTube the most, both to post videos and to follow/watch others. She also uses Pinterest.

 

I have a pinterest account so I can keep an eye on hers and have the passwords/control for her Google account. I will keep the password, etc. and manage the security settings on her FB account.

 

I might let her get instagram without subscribing myself; her stepmom and adult brothers are on there so they could keep an eye on her for me.

 

DH and I have discussed it and decided Snapchat is a no-go for the foreseeable future.

[Closeacademy]

FB is good for keeping in touch with family or friends.  Also great for connecting to homeschooling people.

 

Instagram is more about pictures.  Like sharing things I make or do or see or where I go. I do not follow a lot of people I know irl on Instagram.  Most are my twitterfriends.

[Guest]

Oh yeah. Reddit. Teens are all over that one.

[Jann in TX]

My 14yo dd uses Instagram the most.  She uses snapchat occasionally but with only a few friends.

DH and I both follow her on Instagram (part of the deal we made with her in order for her to have access).

 

Older dd's both use Facebook more.  I finally had to break down and reopen my Facebook account because middle dd just moved to the UK and Facebook is what she uses to blog and share pictures.  I'm not planning on posting on FB though.

 

 

[TwoEdgedSword]

Redsquirrel, thanks for the helpful info.

Is it obvious that it's you the parent following him on Instagram or does your account look more generic?

[Lady Marmalade]

Redsquirrel, thanks for the helpful info.

Is it obvious that it's you the parent following him on Instagram or does your account look more generic?

 

It's only obvious you are following if you comment or like what your kids are posting.

 

My kids do Instagram and snapchat, and DD does FB.   Family rule was that they had to follow me on all of them, and I follow them.  But I never post on Instagram and Snapchat unless I am being sassy to DS.  ;)    I only follow my kids and a few select public personalities, but a whole pile of my kids friends follow me on Instagram.  Which amuses me every time I get a notification because I hardly ever use it.

 

Every once in a while DS will post something on Instagram of himself doing something not-too-bright, and I leave a comment of hashtagmomissoproud.  But it's all in good fun and it makes him laugh. 

[LMD]

A lot of the kids around here use musical.ly

I have no idea what it is and feel very old. (None of my kids are old enough for social media)

[redsquirrel]

Redsquirrel, thanks for the helpful info.

Is it obvious that it's you the parent following him on Instagram or does your account look more generic?

 

I have my own instagram account and my posts don't show up in his feed or anything. His friend would have no idea what I post unless they go looking for it. I don't see what his friends post or anything like that. My feed isn't locked, but if it were, no one could see my posts unless I give permission.  My son, and all his friends, have locked accounts. You can't see his feed unless you request to be allowed to follow him.  I can't see his what his friends post because I haven't asked for permission to be a follower. I wouldn't do that, because it would be weird..like a parent showing up at school and sitting down at a lunch table and expecting to be a part of the conversation.

 

I don't make any comments or like his posts, so his friends wouldn't know I follow him, unless they go looking through his followers.  They have the ability to pm each other via instagram and I think that is the main attraction. I can't read his private messages unless I go into his account on his actual phone and read them myself. Because he is 16 I don't feel like I should do that unless there were to be a reason for concern.

 

And teens flocked to instagram over facebook in part due to all the parents and grand parents being on facebook...but also because instagram never had a minimum age like facebook did or does. As long as you have an email account you can have an instagram account. It doesn't check names or penalize for using a screen name or anything like that. Facebook can kick you off if you use a pseudonym. And you are allowed to create multiple instagram accounts, I believe that facebook doesn't allow that, but I'm not sure.

[AK_Mom4]

My older three only use face book for messaging and looking at pics their dad posts. They use GroupMe or one of the other apps to stay in contact with friends and read Reddit all the time for news stuff.

 

DD15 uses groupme and skype and old fashioned text messages. No FB at all (not interested)