Stupid pregnancy venting

[Murphy101]

I will probably delete this. So please don't quote.

 

I have to give birth somehow eventually in the near future bc stupid science hasn't come up with an ethical third option for removing baby from my uterus yet.

 

I go back and forth with my OBGYN.

 

OTOH she is very we can't have a VBAC! I could DIE! And let's do a stress test every week even though there's absolutely nothing to indicate anything is stressful to me or baby other than doing this stuff for no reason. And how I have absolutely nothing to worry about the c/s because unlike last time, this is all planned out in advance.

 

But at the exact same time, she schedules my c/s for 2 days before my due date. And when I express worry about going into labor earlier and strongly suggest we should schedule this at least a week earlier than that, she poopoos my worry by saying almost word for word, "oh well we'll just have the c/s then or you'll have the baby VBAC before we can."

 

Ugh. Way to offer consistent evidence based rational medical care lady. I mean, this comes across as very caviler attitude about me possibly dying or being in denial about the accuracy of the medical record she is reading. Where it says things like last c/s was a chaotic cluster storm. And that I have had 3 labors that were less than 20 minutes.

 

To add to this...

 

I'm having the worst quiet mental freak out over waiting that long. I don't know why. Everything is going great health wise for me and baby. Seriously. Absolutely nothing but glowing health indicators. And other than the expected sore ligaments and sleepless nights from back pain, I'm not feeling particuliarly bad either. Better than most women or most of my pregnancies this far. But my every instinctive feeling is if I wait that long, I won't get to bring home our baby at all. I'm usually not a dramatic person, but that's how strong the feeling is. I NEVER had a feeling like that with my others. I felt I really needed to go to the hospital or that things were "off" but never a nasty pit in my stomach of possible impending doom.

 

I'm torn. You'd think my history has taught me to listen to my gut. But my history has also made me a bit biased towards being paranoid too. And I like evidence. Reasoned clarity makes me happy. Which leaves me not making any better sense in why I want things done than my OBGYN. And that's danged annoying.

 

The feeling is strong enough that I'm seriously considering calling my OB and flat out saying we are doing this c/s earlier or I'm finding another OBGYN, which I doubt I could actually do anyways. And of course, this runs the risks of coming across as a hysterical idiot and then if something god forbid does go wrong, she might not take me serious enough.

 

I'm not hysterical or anything. But seriously going that long feels.... anxious and wrong. And I am not even slightly in a hurry to go into labor or have surgery. Normally I'm very, yeahno, I know that hurts like hell and nature usually knows best, so I'm happy enough to let baby bide her time and come when ready.

 

Opinions? Thoughts?

[amy g.]

If I felt this way, I'd insist on scheduling it sooner, and just would. not. back. down.

 

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I know it is so stressful.

[ktgrok]

Agreed. If you have that feeling, go with it. At the very least, request a biophysical profile before then, rather than just the non stress test. You'd get more information. 

[Murphy101]

If I felt this way, I'd insist on scheduling it sooner, and just would. not. back. down.

 

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I know it is so stressful.

See now, that's the exact advice I would give too, but for ME....

 

I wonder if my previous c/s delivery is just bringing up mental/emotional scar tissue that's clouding my judgement. And if so, I don't want to risk baby's health by pushing for an earlier delivery than baby is ready for bc I'm having nerves. And if that's the case, I need to just give myself a mental slap to get my crao together and get over myself.

[Selkie]

I don't blame you for feeling uneasy.  I would absolutely listen to your gut and schedule it earlier.  

[Murphy101]

Agreed. If you have that feeling, go with it. At the very least, request a biophysical profile before then, rather than just the non stress test. You'd get more information.

I actually did say I wanted a biophysical instead or at least maybe do it every other time. So a NST last week, a biophys this week, NST next week... and she flat out refused to order one saying it was not any better than a basic NST and costs a lot more. When I stated the reasons I thought it would be more informative, she said she was the one that has delivered hundreds of babies and went to med school. She made it worse because she always talks really super cheerfully and bubbly. I feel like a heel bc the more sunshiny she gets the more I want to smack her.

[ktgrok]

First, I'd take some time to have a cry, or a half a glass of wine, or whatever it takes to let my guard down. Then I'd journal, or talk to a girl friend who would listen without judging, and try to figure out what I was afraid of. Maybe go back over your last birth, talk it out, figure out if any of it is really still haunting you. then sleep on it and make a decision. 

 

And in the meantime I'd schedule biophysical profiles weekly starting at 38 weeks. 

[ktgrok]

I actually did say I wanted a biophysical instead or at least maybe do it every other time. So a NST last week, a biophys this week, NST next week... and she flat out refused to order one saying it was not any better than a basic NST and costs a lot more. When I stated the reasons I thought it would be more informative, she said she was the one that has delivered hundreds of babies and went to med school. She made it worse because she always talks really super cheerfully and bubbly. I feel like a heel bc the more sunshiny she gets the more I want to smack her.

 

Wow! Yeah, I'd at least try to find a different ob. What a dork! Of course a biophysical gives more info! Fluid levels, a look a the placenta, practice breathing movements, etc etc. 

[maize]

I'd go with your gut.

[Mimm]

I actually did say I wanted a biophysical instead or at least maybe do it every other time. So a NST last week, a biophys this week, NST next week... and she flat out refused to order one saying it was not any better than a basic NST and costs a lot more. When I stated the reasons I thought it would be more informative, she said she was the one that has delivered hundreds of babies and went to med school. She made it worse because she always talks really super cheerfully and bubbly. I feel like a heel bc the more sunshiny she gets the more I want to smack her.

:grouphug:  She sounds simply awful.

[eternalsummer]

Is there another ob-gyn at the practice?

 

 

 

 

[BrittanyM]

Go with your gut. It doesn't matter rationally why you're feeling this way the important thing is that you listen to yourself. Pushing through and making it isn't going to help anything so there is no point. And I'm sure you could find another OB, I know people who have that late in their pregnancy. It wasn't fun but your OB sounds awful!! I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this! :(

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[prairiewindmomma]

My ob said that the thing she listens to most is when a mother has a strong feeling.  Seriously, sit her bubbly self down and let her know that you are not a hysterical being, that you have given birth to more children than several women put together, and that you feel strongly that something bad is going to happen if that baby doesn't come out pronto.

 

My youngest is running around only because I pushed the issue in my pregnancy with her. We both almost died.  I know that's not a happy thing that pregnant people like to hear, but don't discount your feelings.

[Jyhwkmama]

Yes. Go with your gut. Get a different OB stat!

[school17777]

I wonder if your dr is forgetting that she doesn't want you to have a vbac and goes to her standard plan. Did you ask her point blank about her contradiction? I would push to be scheduled for a c/s prior to your due date by calling and speaking/leaving a message with a nurse. Maybe if the dr has to review your chart to get back to you about that, she would recall why she originally didn't want you to have the vbac.

[Murphy101]

I wonder if your dr is forgetting that she doesn't want you to have a vbac and goes to her standard plan. Did you ask her point blank about her contradiction? I would push to be scheduled for a c/s prior to your due date by calling and speaking/leaving a message with a nurse. Maybe if the dr has to review your chart to get back to you about that, she would recall why she originally didn't want you to have the vbac.

Nope. She literally had my chart right there and was commenting on how she had looked it up specifically because at my previous appt I calmly but emphatically stated I didn't want another field c/s thank you very much and that bc of my last one, I have zero trust that the hospital can handle an emergency c/s within in moments like they advertise as why every woman should have a hospital delivery in case something goes wrong. And she couldn't belief I'd had a c/s like that, but there it was in the records and she just kept saying this time would be different because I didn't start at home. Which makes no damn sense bc almost every labor starts at home. How fast they come in could be for any number of reasons, such as like me discovering a prolapsed cord. Basicly she blamed me for attempting a home birth last time for the c/s cluster I ended up with.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Murphy101

[Guest]

I'd absolutely schedule it sooner with the way you're feeling and your age. Intuition is not to be ignored.

 

VBACs are usually very safe but they're not ideal in every circumstance - can you give your OB an ultimatum on this one? 38 weeks is usually very safe for an induction if a mama doesn't consistently go post dates to bake her babies, and with advanced maternal age as a consideration you should be able to lobby for that pretty easily

 

I've just seen too many women who were truly ill at ease with care and accurately predicted heir own complications, even over obstetrical objection and a lack of evidence until after birth, when the cord issue or placenta problems because apparent. I'd seriously consider switching care providers if she wasn't playing ball, but I've had to do it at 38.5 weeks before and ended up with an OB who was just fantastic :)

[Murphy101]

Am I right that this is your 12th baby? You know what you know, and you probably don't know why, but you have plenty of experience for your intuition to tell you something is off.

 

You are telling you deep down, and you should listen.

 

As far as the baby not being ready? How early do you want to go? 38 weeks and the vast majority of babies are ready. That's still nearly 2 weeks before your ob was going to do it.

 

And I can't do arrogant doctors. Ugh.

Everyone always adds more kids than I have. Lol

 

It's just 11 so far.

 

I'd like to insist on 16 days before due date. 14 would be weekend and they don't schedule for weekends.

[Guest]

I actually did say I wanted a biophysical instead or at least maybe do it every other time. So a NST last week, a biophys this week, NST next week... and she flat out refused to order one saying it was not any better than a basic NST and costs a lot more. When I stated the reasons I thought it would be more informative, she said she was the one that has delivered hundreds of babies and went to med school. She made it worse because she always talks really super cheerfully and bubbly. I feel like a heel bc the more sunshiny she gets the more I want to smack her.

No. No way. That attitude can kill mamas and babies. Heck no.

 

I'd be walking. Most practices won't refuse a third trimester switch and at full term they *can't* legally refuse care, at least in my state.

[JoJosMom]

I actually did say I wanted a biophysical instead or at least maybe do it every other time. So a NST last week, a biophys this week, NST next week... and she flat out refused to order one saying it was not any better than a basic NST and costs a lot more. When I stated the reasons I thought it would be more informative, she said she was the one that has delivered hundreds of babies and went to med school. She made it worse because she always talks really super cheerfully and bubbly. I feel like a heel bc the more sunshiny she gets the more I want to smack her.

 

That's really nice and congratulations to her.  You, however, are living in your body.  Those "gut feelings" are possibly YOUR brain interpreting the signals being given off by YOUR body.  Show up at the ER when you think it's appropriate and to heck with the professionals.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:   I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, but my sincere congratulations on the baby.

[ktgrok]

How far along do you usually go? How big are your babies? If you normally go 42 weeks, with small to average sized babies that don't look post term, I'd understand her wanting to be closer to your due date. But if you usually are about "on time" with decent size babies, I don't get why she is fighting you. Now, that said, the March of Dimes is REALLY pushing to let every mom/baby go to 39 weeks. They just see better outcomes at 39 weeks versus 38, and because of that hospital policies are changing. Many are not allowing non medical inductions or cesareans before 39 weeks. However, if you are advanced maternal age, that could be used as a medical reason to schedule sooner. 

 

that she won't even do the biophysical is weird to me. I get them because I go late, but this time, at 40, I plan to ask for one at 39 weeks, rather than waiting until 41 weeks like before. I'm sure my midwife will accommodate me. 

[cjzimmer1]

I've had two pregnancies with the horrible something is wrong waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat because of nightmares about something being wrong feeling.  Both times something WAS wrong. You've had a lot of kids, yeah some of the deliveries haven't gone the way you would have liked but you have a LOT of experience knowing how YOUR body works.  Sure your OB went to med school and has delivered lots of babies but she doesn't have the experience with your body that you do. If you feel baby needs to come sooner, than do whatever you can to make it happen. Myself I would probably flat out tell OB look I don't feel right about this.  I can't say why but I feel we need to get baby out sooner.  I had a doctor who was all if you have a VBAC you will die, baby will die mentally.  I sat down and explained all the reasons why I felt it was a bad choice for me to schedule a c/s just because.  And you know what she listened.  While she didn't necessary agree with me, she understood I had researched, I knew the risks and there was some clear reasons that it wasn't a good choice for me.  But I really had to stand up to her.  I think because they generally have such little time with patients they get used to just giving orders and having the patient say yes ma'am. So I would go back and try to talk to her but really stand up for yourself.  I know when you are tired and don't feel well and scared of the situation it's hard to take a stand but I do think in this case you really need to.  Remember the OB works for you not the other way around.

[Guest]

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it, but in my state, there are now huge regulations against how early they can schedule c-sections. The whole "the US has too many unnecessary cesarians compared to other countries" mentality has kicked in and insurance companies have taken advantage of it. There is a risk that neither the hospital or the doctor will be paid if they schedule the c-section before a certain term in the pregnancy, and I want to say it is days of the due date. Of course, the doctor can get a wavier if there are impending circumstances, but there are lots of hoops to jump through now. It's not a simple thing where a doctor can easily get around the regulations. 

 

I have no idea if that's what is happening where you are, but it may play into the scheduling......I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this, especially now where you just want to focus on the baby. I hope you can get your doctor to take your concerns more seriously and find a good solution. 

 

ETA: It goes for inductions as well. The rulings here took place in our hospital systems between 2011 and 2012. I was induced three weeks early due to baby's size in 2011, in 2012 they made me go to term even though this baby was bigger because of the new rules......that's how fast the regulations changed. 

Edited September 14, 2016 by texasmom33

[Murphy101]

I'd absolutely schedule it sooner with the way you're feeling and your age. Intuition is not to be ignored.

 

VBACs are usually very safe but they're not ideal in every circumstance - can you give your OB an ultimatum on this one? 38 weeks is usually very safe for an induction if a mama doesn't consistently go post dates to bake her babies, and with advanced maternal age as a consideration you should be able to lobby for that pretty easily

 

I've just seen too many women who were truly ill at ease with care and accurately predicted heir own complications, even over obstetrical objection and a lack of evidence until after birth, when the cord issue or placenta problems because apparent. I'd seriously consider switching care providers if she wasn't playing ball, but I've had to do it at 38.5 weeks before and ended up with an OB who was just fantastic :)

Well baby is currently breech so there's no way anyone is okaying a VBAC around here even if I'd only had one c/s instead of 2. And she openly admitted she has only delivered one breech baby back in med school, so she for sure isn't going to induce. And I'm rather okay with that. I'd rather have an experienced surgery than a hack VBAC.

 

Which is my other worry with waiting until I go into labor bc my labors tend to go fast and baby is pretty darn comfy nestling her head in the middle of my rib cage. You can actually feel the contour of her face sometimes as she likes to try to stand up in there and then turn her head from side to side and it presses her face right up against the top of my belly. I made dh feel the other night and he said, "Dint take this wrong bc I love you both, but that's freaking me out to feel that." Lol

[BooksandBoys]

Everyone always adds more kids than I have. Lol

 

It's just 11 so far.

 

I'd like to insist on 16 days before due date. 14 would be weekend and they don't schedule for weekends.

So, insist.

If it were me, I'd have to both practice what I was going to say to the OB at the next appointment and write notes for myself so I didn't miss anything.

But if you feel you need this, insist. Insist until you get it.

 

I was patronized and ignored by my OB when I presented concerns during my first pregnancy. It didn't end horribly, but it didn't end well. Who knows how ignoring the problem for three weeks affected my child. I no longer have even the slightest bit of patience for medical "professionals" who ignore what I want/my concerns.

[ktgrok]

Ugh, and with breech you have a higher chance of cord prolapse. Of course you don't want to go into labor like that, with no one experienced in breech to attend you! 

 

I do think the 39 week cut off is part of what you are dealing with here. How early have you gone into labor in the past?

[Murphy101]

I'm all over in timing. Never earlier than 2 weeks, several a week or two over, one that was born on his due date, and one that was 17 days past due.

 

9 were between 7.11 and 8.8 pounds. One for no discernible reason was 10lbs. She is still huge. We call her our Amazon girl bc she is always in the 98th% for height.

 

I literally went from the dr checking me and being less than 2 dilation to delivery without even pushing less than 5 minutes later up to my "longest" labor was 6 hours, and I pushed the entire 6 hours because I showed up at 10.

 

Regardless, they all looked term and were healthy.

 

ETA: IF my last level 2 ultrasound a week ago is accurate, baby was healthy, breathing, cord was good, and she is approx in the 50th percentile for weight for this far gestation.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Murphy101

[Guest]

Well baby is currently breech so there's no way anyone is okaying a VBAC around here even if I'd only had one c/s instead of 2. And she openly admitted she has only delivered one breech baby back in med school, so she for sure isn't going to induce. And I'm rather okay with that. I'd rather have an experienced surgery than a hack VBAC.

 

Which is my other worry with waiting until I go into labor bc my labors tend to go fast and baby is pretty darn comfy nestling her head in the middle of my rib cage. You can actually feel the contour of her face sometimes as she likes to try to stand up in there and then turn her head from side to side and it presses her face right up against the top of my belly. I made dh feel the other night and he said, "Dint take this wrong bc I love you both, but that's freaking me out to feel that." Lol

I'm sorry, I did say induction but my brain meant to put 'c-section' in there. I don't think you should go vaginally with how you're feeling and doubly so with be new info. But asking for a scheduled date for surgery at 38-ish weeks, a few days on either side, is reasonable.

[ktgrok]

Pushing to before 38 weeks will be an uphill battle, for sure. But would you feel okay waiting until that monday, IF you were doing the biophysical profile before then?

[Murphy101]

First, I'd take some time to have a cry, or a half a glass of wine, or whatever it takes to let my guard down. Then I'd journal, or talk to a girl friend who would listen without judging, and try to figure out what I was afraid of. Maybe go back over your last birth, talk it out, figure out if any of it is really still haunting you. then sleep on it and make a decision.

 

And in the meantime I'd schedule biophysical profiles weekly starting at 38 weeks.

I don't cry or drink when worried to relax. I have to DO something to FIX it. And if I can't, I clean or organize or fix something else that I can do. My house is VERY clean right now.

 

I hesitate to talk IRL because those who are close will freak the heck out for me, which is sweet, but not helpful. Dh almost had a wreck bc I was dumb enough to say, "What would you think of me calling and scheduling this earlier bc I just have a bad feeling about waiting that long." Dh swears my mom/wife vibe is some kind of awe inspiring yet creepy as heck voodoo sixth sense. He pulled over and asked if we should go to the hospital right then and if I felt okay. I physically feel fine. Especially for a 40+ yr old woman about to have her 11th child if I do say so myself.

 

And bc I'm feeling stupid my next thought is... Well it can't be right to feel that good so something has to be wrong. See? That's messed up thinking there. Which is why I'm doubting myself and feeling ridiculous about this.

[Murphy101]

Pushing to before 38 weeks will be an uphill battle, for sure. But would you feel okay waiting until that monday, IF you were doing the biophysical profile before then?

Sure. That date wouldn't be as convienent family schedule wise, but it's not like babies care about such pesky things and I could just as easily go into labor that day anyways.

[ktgrok]

And bc I'm feeling stupid my next thought is... Well it can't be right to feel that good so something has to be wrong. See? That's messed up thinking there. Which is why I'm doubting myself and feeling ridiculous about this.

 

that i get. You hear so many stories about how advanced maternal age is dangerous sand awful and then you think...well maybe they are right? Or, i know I think, I've had so many good outcomes, I'm due for something bad to happen. Which is crazy.

[Murphy101]

Oh and I know exactly what scares me about the cluster c/s mess last time. It's not a deep secret I need to ferret out and face,

 

I had zero control over changing any of it. It's total BS for the staff to blame me. At any time on any day any pregnant woman could have a sudden change in her condition that necessitates a c/s. The fact is, it wouldn't have mattered if it was me with the prolapse coming in the door or someone already in the L&D floor taking a sudden turn for the worse - they would have had the same problem of being a cluster mess of unprepared freak outs.

 

So heck yeah. I know it's still an illusion of control, but yep, I'm all for making sure that everyone is prepared and ready for me to come in and have a c/s. You bet I am.

[Lawyer&Mom]

We have the newer protocol at my hospital and my section last year was scheduled for exactly 7 days before the due date. Could you at least ask for a week? Or play the breech card! No one wants to deal with that. That should get you another week, right?

[Scarlett]

Ok, I have given birth exactly one time 16 1/2 years ago.....so I am of no real help. But I do want to say I am in awe of you.

 

I hope you can get your doc to do c/s earlier.....stomp your feet and yell a bit.

[eternalsummer]

I know how you feel (kind of) - after an unprepared and traumatic 5th labor, for my 6th I asked for a scheduled induction +epidural.  My thought process was the same as yours - if I'm doing this in the hospital anyway, I'd rather a controlled, prepared situation than a frenzied one, in which I have to wait to push for the dr to show up and she barely catches the baby and there is no pain medication.  They were happy to schedule for exactly 1 week before due date - I think they believed me about very fast labors, and I live 30 min. from the hospital.

 

I would push for a compromise @ 1 week before due.

[Epicurean]

http://sciencenordic.com/early-c-section-less-harmful-we-thought

 

There are several studies out there showing very little increased risk to the baby by having an early (but full term, 37+) c section. For women who have had two or more sections, it is recommended to have them early.

 

I would definitely insist on an early section or change doctors.

[Liz CA]

I would schedule an appointment and try to - as calmly as possible - explain that "I am nervous and it's causing me worry and anxiety. Can we please schedule the c/s earlier so I can feel more relaxed?

 

Make it about you and how anxious you are. A good OBGYN should listen to your concerns even if she thinks those concerns are unfounded. Hopefully she will select a date that makes you less jittery and is still comfortable for her as well. Insist on some kind of compromise. If she is unrelenting, I'd get a second opinion. I don't know the "rules" about switching at this late stage in the game but I doubt you would be the first one.

 

A baby delivered a week or two early is usually not in any great danger. My ds was 3 weeks early (VB) and everything was fine.

 

[Soror]

You don't sound hysterical to me. I think your reasons for wanting to be induced are very valid. I don't understand your dr. fighting you so hard on this, it makes no sense to me when you compare the possible effects of waiting vs. doing the section early. I mean really the Dr. seems to be the illogical one here. I don't think you are out of line to insist on a section as early as possible. My other thought is that if you are really that desperate you could start camping out in the Dr.'s waiting room or hospital once it gets closer- not entirely literally- but if it gets close and she won't budge and there are no other options I'd want to stay as close as possible as much as I was able just in case.

[Joules]

I'd say go with your gut.  I doubt you can manage scheduled before 38 weeks, but try for the earliest weekday between 38 and 39.  Would getting your dh involved help?  

Some doctors ignore "hysterical" women (even female doctors), but when a "reasonable" man says the same thing, they listen.  

Might he have an "unavoidable business trip" during her planned time that would mean you had no home care unless you delivered the week before ;-)

 

Edited September 14, 2016 by Joules

[craftymama]

I haven't read all the other comments, but I understand how you feel.  

 

What I was told by two different doctors from two different cultures is that they don't like to schedule the it more than a week before your due date to let baby have as long as possible to develop while planning it early enough to avoid the greatest risk of going into labor.  Of course, there are no guarantees when we're talking labor timelines.  I don't know your particular history, but I would look for another doctor.  My doctors were much more comforting and understanding and open to dialogue than what you describe.  If you can't effectively communicate with your doctor your feelings of concern it will only weigh more heavily on you which could lead to something stress related.  

[Carrie12345]

:grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry you're in this stressful position.

 

I did have to fight for a 39wk induction. (Actually, I think they pushed it to 39w1or2dy.)  It was a battle, especially since none of the previous 4 came before 40 weeks, and the one immediately before was 42 (and induced.)  With that history, I was just as concerned, but other issues outweighed that for me.

 

It's never an exact science, so of course there's no easy answer.  There are early deliveries, and even EARLY deliveries, that go fine.  My early-for-me baby was perfect.  A friend of mine had a 37 week-er that was fully cooked. My sil's 37+ week-er by OB dates, 38 week-er by her dates (and spontaneous labor), was in the NICU for 10 days for breathing troubles.  None of the 3 of us could MAKE our babies fine or not so fine just by willing it to be so.  Those little buggers develop on their own personal timeline!

[BlsdMama]

Murphy - have you only ever had one C-section?  What do you *really* want?  A VBAC or an earlier delivery via C section.

 

If you've only had one C, I'd push HARD for the VBAC honestly. (I had one C section - it wasn't "emergency" exactly, just like a midnight urgent kind of thing - preemie @ 36w1d presenting as a footling breech with the cord near the cervix.)

But after her, eight successful VBACs, so I'm a fan.)

 

However, if you really want a C-section, I think scheduling it two days before your delivery date is a little iffy, although with your tendency to have normal-ish size babies 1-2 weeks after your due date, I can understand where she's coming from.  You've never gone early? (Maybe I read too fast, just double checking.)

They are REALLY starting to shy away from the 38w1d mark.  Too many babies with not quite accurate dates and as a mama who has only made it to the 39+ week date once, there really is a difference between 36/37 and 38/39.  I'd take a 39 any day of the week and twice on Sundays IF I wasn't afraid of going early, if that makes sense.  IF I was seriously concerned about going early, I'd push for the 7-10 days before my due date.  Like 39w and 1d. 

 

It's just different at 11 kids I think.  You're kind of over the pregnancy/delivery thing.  I think we should all get 3 week pregnancies at this point but apparently no one asked me. :D  

Bubbly would bug me and I'm bubbly.  There comes a point where you need to be able to have a serious conversation with her and if she can't bring herself "down" to have a serious discussion, I'd push it and hard with no happy, smiley face.

[ktgrok]

She's had two c-sections and some VBACs, and the baby is breech. And her provider isn't experienced in breech delivery. And I believe has a history of cord prolapse, which is more common in breech. 

 

I do agree that 39 weeks is the rule for a very good reason. Ive had 38 week and nearly 42 weeks and the difference was remarkable...the 38 week one ended up grunting, fluid in the lungs, trouble breastfeeding, etc comparatively. 37 weeks and you start looking at trouble  maintaining temperature, weak suck reflex, etc. Not huge problems, nothing life threatening for sure. And worth it in many cases. But it is a concern. 

 

But not scripting out a biophysical profile, at least around then to make you feel better is ludicrous. 

[Guest]

Not only has she had a few c-sections, one was traumatic in the extreme. The hospital is very very lucky there was no lawsuit.

 

Murphy, I would just keep pushing for the date you want to schedule the c-section. They will give in at some point.

[Murphy101]

My third baby 18 years ago was c/s after a failed attempt to deliver him breech. I had a much older dr back then and he tried to encourage vag delivery even with a frank breech for over 8 hours before we decided on the c/s.

 

My 10th was an emergency field c/s for prolapse cord and baby in distress.

 

All the others were vag/VBAC and I've both gone up to two weeks before due date and up to 2 weeks past it.

 

Normally I am of the philosophy of letting baby bake until baby decides s/he is done on their own. Delivery sucks no matter what the method and I'm not exactly gungho to start it for that reason alone and I agree babies tend to usually know best naturally.

 

However, given my lack of faith due to repeated experience in the local hospitals to get their crap together at a moments notice and that I'm breech and that my labors tend to go very quickly and my instincts (which I readily admit are clouded by previous experiences) - I'm VERY nervous about waiting that long to schedule the c/s.

 

And I'm frustrated by dumb medical policies that have zero to do with patient health.

 

Such as otoh mandating no VBACS for anyone here bc of a very unlikely chance it could go wrong. A chance that is far less likely than various complications from major surgery. Even after one c/s it is impossible to find any dr who will consider a VBAC here.

 

And yet, also having these blanket policies for scheduling c/s that are not based on the actual needs of the presenting patient.

 

It for sure doesn't do much to build any of my confidence in the hospitals or my Drs here. I basicly know I can't trust any of them to actually do what is in my best medical interests, or to even give me honest options about my own medical care. They are going to decide what they should do to best guard their backsides from possible malpractice and they are going to do that, even if they know it is not in the healthiest or even the safest option for their patients.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Murphy101

[DesertBlossom]

I haven't read the replies, but I felt serious anxiety with my last pregnancy as well. I got some stomach bug early on with such severe cramping I was sure I was miscarrying. And then I just never got over the feeling of impending doom. Then when we found out DH would be deployed just weeks after my due date, it was all I could do to keep myself together. After many many tears my midwife did strip my membranes at 38 weeks and he was born the next day and I don't regret that at all. I needed that baby OUT. I totally understand the anxiety.

 

That being said, the way she is trying to scare you into a c/s while simultaneously not freaking out about you having an accidental vbac makes me think she is just being manipulative about the c/s. If a vbac isn't a big deal, then it's not a big deal and she shouldn't pressure you into a c/s if you don't want it.

 

I don't have any advice about what you should do. But hugs and good luck!

[ktgrok]

And given your past experience, just going into labor and then rushing in for a c-section isn't a safe option. So yeah, they need to schedule it in such a way that you don't go into labor first. 38 weeks would be more than reasonable. 

[Okra]

My opinion is that you should schedule the c-section at 38 weeks, even if that is not convenient for your family. You WANT to have a planned c-section.  Go in there and make it clear exactly WHY and WHAT you want.  The doctor should listen, be firm.

 

 

[ErinE]

My insurance companies told the doctors they wouldn't pay for elective c-section before 39 weeks.

 

I had a bad feeling about #4. I'd never experienced it before and I thought it was fears associated with pregnancy hormones. I was right to be worried. As it turned out, things were a mess internally, and I was lucky the baby was okay. Trust your intuition and stand your ground.

Edited September 14, 2016 by ErinE