Why do you homeschool?

[mommyoffive]

Ah

 

Does anyone kind of have a homeschool melt down sometimes?  Do you ever start thinking why am I doing this? 

 

Maybe it was just a perfect storm.  Some frustrating days, dh out of town, me trying to keep my head up with 5 kids 10 and under.   But I just started thinking this week why am I doing this?  Is it really better than what they would get at public school?  

 

Are the things they are giving up worth the trade off?  

Are they getting as good an education as the public school kids? 

 

I just have a lot of self doubt.  If I had older kids who made it all the way through then maybe I could relax or have confidence in this journey.  

 

So why do you homeschool? 

 

Do you ever have self doubt about homeschooling? 

 

What do you think the pros are for you?  The cons?

 

Do you think your kids are getting as good an education as public school kids?  Better? 

 

Do you think homeschooled kids give up things by not going to public school? 

 

 

 

 

 

I need some support from people who are more experienced in this.  If you went all the way through or have older kids that homeschool.  

What do you love about it?

What keeps you going on the tough days?

 

What do you use for your homeschool?

 

Are you all on your own, through an online public school, or something else?

 

 

I think some of this doubt stems from me trying to make the choice if I should online school with a state public school or not.  I have to make that choice soon.

They would get a lot of support, curriculum, and money for outside classes (which would be awesome), but they would have to do testing and I dont know if they would be open with travel during the school year.  Which we already have some set up for this next year.

 

 

[Entropymama]

Yes. To basically all your questions. 

 

I'll tell you this - I have 6, 14 and under. About 3 years ago, homeschooling stopped being idyllic days of books and field trips and slowly morphed into 10 hour days trying desperately to get it all done without losing my mind and hopefully getting a shower twice a week. Much less fun. Bear in mind that I had an unexpected pregnancy and a 16 month cancer battle (my dad, he lost) in the midst of that.

 

Next year all five of the older ones will be going to school. 

 

I am alternately ecstatic and devastated, but the simple truth is that we need a break. I am hopeful that after a year I'll bring my younger two back home (they'll be first and second grade next year). I doubt very much that my middle schoolers will come home, but I would be open to that if it's what they wanted. 

 

It's such a tough balance. I do believe homeschooling is the best education, but at this point my kids aren't getting all the great stuff homeschooling has to offer. You have to weigh their needs and wants with what you're able to do. Your happiness and mental health are also important! 

 

Bear in mind that B&M schools have advantages, too, and sending them to school doesn't mean you become hands-off in their education. I fully intend to continue with our read alouds, and to take them to museums on the weekends. Life takes many forms, and the best one is the one that works for your family. 

[Trilliums]

I had A LOT of self doubt when my kids were younger.

My oldest is a homeschool grad and now a college sophomore.

 

I withdrew son from ps in grade one when he was dx dyslexic. The special Ed teacher said they really didn't have much to offer him. After trying to stick to worksheets and curriculum for a year or tow, I finally started a much more relaxed, semi unschooling, consisting mostly of reading and doing stuff--measuring pouring, counting building, exploring, etc.

 

He transitioned to more formal school work in grade 8-9 and then started dual enrolling for science and math. He is a very self motivated learner.

 

I think public school would have been seriously bad for his mental health. He is confident and happy now. Just half a year of ps made him feel stupid and misunderstood. :(

[Guest]

Oh, of COURSE I have never had a moment's doubt in all the fourteen years I have homeschooled.

 

 

BWAAAHHAAAHAAAAHAAAAA! :D

 

I have NEVER looked at a child who has totally forgotten every math fact ever learned and muttered to myself, "What the hell am I doing with my life?" Nope, never. Of course not.

 

Of course I have NEVER looked at a set of nice, office-appropriate clothes and thought, "Wow, life was so much nicer when people paid me to be competent."

 

I have more doubts recently than I did in the early stage, for several reasons, but a significant one being LDs rearing their ugly heads. It's very gratifying to homeschool an academic ace. Not so much when certain concepts seem to perpetually elude your otherwise intelligent, fine child.

 

But also, my SIL was just telling me a story that had to do with extreme alcohol abuse and indiscriminate sexual behaviour in peers of my niece, who is younger than driving age. (Niece not involved, btw, just aware of the situation.) And this makes me very glad I don't have a kid at PS.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Oh, of COURSE I have never had a moment's doubt in all the fourteen years I have homeschooled.

 

 

BWAAAHHAAAHAAAAHAAAAA! :D

 

 

 

You too!!!???

 

Me either.  It's always super great.

[momacacia]

I've talked to enough moms with kids, even in private schools in my area that I would consider, who have kids in school and have or are homeschooling, that the gig I've got going even on bad days is better than what those schools can give my kids and better than the cray-cray it would make me to deal with the administrations, poor English curricula and pitiful academic expectations that seem rife around here. While my kids are rarely incompetent, I'd rather excuse their immaturity than the incompetence of a school purporting to be super-awesome, classical, blah, blah, blah, when it's just not.

 

I think every choice requires that you give up something...that other choice. How you prioritize the thing kept and thing given up is how you make the choice.

 

And yes, my children can drive me absolutely crazy, but in deference to them, it's a pretty short trip for me to get there. ;)

 

Hugs. You can do this if it's best for your kids and family.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I homeschool because I'm out of my mind.  :lol:

 

Haha... Ok for the most part I'm very happy we homeschool.  This past year was just rough.  Probably most people have their moments or bad years.  

 

How do I keep going?  Pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going.....

[Familia]

We decided to homeschool so our children could get an academically sound education while growing closer as a family.   Good results so far=)

For my husband, he was convinced that he would be more involved in their lives and enjoy all the moments he was missing more, as well as have a smoother transition after work back into their lives each day.  He always tells people that although he knows for me it is a ton of hard work, he really appreciates this aspect, and I have really seen these fruits for him and all of us.

For me, what finally tipped me over the edge to give it a try was read-aloud.  This was such an important and time-intensive precious part of our daily lives when our eldest was preschool age, I just couldn't give that up for that pesky institution called school!

 

- - - Just read op's post more carefully instead of just the title - - - 

 

Adding:

Same Dh had to tolerate many, many phone calls asking to help spare some dc's life by offering me a 'count to 10' conversation.  But, seriously, the most challenging part was second guessing my plans because of looking for progress day by day rather than evaluating a whole year's progress.  Progress we made, not great in each subject each year but, over the course of the years...great progress!  Wish I'd fretted less!

Edited May 29, 2016 by secretgarden

[lllll]

I never had to think about why I was hs'ing.  I just had to look at my oldest ds to know that.  He was ps'ed, with one year of private school in there.  Once we began hs'ing, I never looked back.  Which doesn't mean I didn't wonder whether I was doing a good job.  I probably wondered that until they began college.  And, even now, with all of them in college, I still see things I would do 'better' if I could go back in time and do it all over again.  And they're all doing extremely well in college, too.  Yet, here I sit, contemplating the things I would improve in how I hs'ed them.   :blink:

 

Yes, I did it without outside classes.  There weren't any of those things when I first began.   Sometimes I think there are so many choices out there now for beginning hs'ers that it makes it hard to choose.

 

We used WTM plus other stuff.

 

Yes, I think my kids got as good (or better) education as most public or private schooled kids.  You might see that more when they begin college than in those early years of hs'ing.

 

And, yes, I would choose the travel over the online school any day.   :D  

Edited May 28, 2016 by _ ?^..

[LucyStoner]

Homeschooling is hard. The occasionally meltdown (visible or not) is next to inevitable.

 

We started homeschooling because:

 

-Son was far ahead of grade level in most areas and was bored even in the gifted program.

 

-Son was a target for bullies and the school didn't do one single thing to help him.

 

-Son was socially awkward and anxious. He was later diagnosed with ASD. The school proposed an IEP that had nothing to do with helping him. It was all about him making himself less work for staff.

 

We continued to homeschool for other reasons- family time, strong academics, more time to get help with having ASD and no pointless testing.

 

Still even though I think the investment of time is paying off for him there are times I wonder if I did the right thing. Those times are usually when contemplating my lost salary or when they are so grumpy I need to tell the boys to put on their shoes, grab their scooters and scram for a bit.

Edited May 29, 2016 by LucyStoner

[mommyoffive]

Thank you guys.   

 

What you are saying really does help.  

 

 

[mommyoffive]

Oh, of COURSE I have never had a moment's doubt in all the fourteen years I have homeschooled.

 

 

BWAAAHHAAAHAAAAHAAAAA! :D

 

I have NEVER looked at a child who has totally forgotten every math fact ever learned and muttered to myself, "What the hell am I doing with my life?" Nope, never. Of course not.

 

Of course I have NEVER looked at a set of nice, office-appropriate clothes and thought, "Wow, life was so much nicer when people paid me to be competent."

 

I have more doubts recently than I did in the early stage, for several reasons, but a significant one being LDs rearing their ugly heads. It's very gratifying to homeschool an academic ace. Not so much when certain concepts seem to perpetually elude your otherwise intelligent, fine child.

 

But also, my SIL was just telling me a story that had to do with extreme alcohol abuse and indiscriminate sexual behaviour in peers of my niece, who is younger than driving age. (Niece not involved, btw, just aware of the situation.) And this makes me very glad I don't have a kid at PS.

 

[mommyoffive]

Oh, of COURSE I have never had a moment's doubt in all the fourteen years I have homeschooled.

 

 

BWAAAHHAAAHAAAAHAAAAA! :D

 

I have NEVER looked at a child who has totally forgotten every math fact ever learned and muttered to myself, "What the hell am I doing with my life?" Nope, never. Of course not.

 

Of course I have NEVER looked at a set of nice, office-appropriate clothes and thought, "Wow, life was so much nicer when people paid me to be competent."

 

I have more doubts recently than I did in the early stage, for several reasons, but a significant one being LDs rearing their ugly heads. It's very gratifying to homeschool an academic ace. Not so much when certain concepts seem to perpetually elude your otherwise intelligent, fine child.

 

But also, my SIL was just telling me a story that had to do with extreme alcohol abuse and indiscriminate sexual behaviour in peers of my niece, who is younger than driving age. (Niece not involved, btw, just aware of the situation.) And this makes me very glad I don't have a kid at PS.

 

[mommyoffive]

Yes the forgetting of the facts!!

I think this is what brought on the self doubt all of sudden.  

 

 

That and as they get older I see the visible things they are missing out on.  Groups, dances, sports, band......

 

I spend so much money just to make up for the fact of the things they are missing.   I could save so much by sending them to PS and eventually getting a job once the youngest was school age. 

 

 

 

It really does help to hear the vetreans tell me their thoughts.  i know if I could see the future 20 years down the road I could have peace with it.   I just can't though.  Dh and I were not homeschooled so this is an experiment so to say.  I can't afford to get it wrong and I just feel like everything is on me.  You know what I mean?

 

 

 

 

[mommyoffive]

I never had to think about why I was hs'ing.  I just had to look at my oldest ds to know that.  He was ps'ed, with one year of private school in there.  Once we began hs'ing, I never looked back.  Which doesn't mean I didn't wonder whether I was doing a good job.  I probably wondered that until they began college.  And, even now, with all of them in college, I still see things I would do 'better' if I could go back in time and do it all over again.  And they're all doing extremely well in college, too.  Yet, here I sit, contemplating the things I would improve in how I hs'ed them.   :blink:

 

Yes, I did it without outside classes.  There weren't any of those things when I first began.   Sometimes I think there are so many choices out there now for beginning hs'ers that it makes it hard to choose.

 

We used WTM plus other stuff.

 

Yes, I think my kids got as good (or better) education as most public or private schooled kids.  You might see that more when they begin college than in those early years of hs'ing.

 

And, yes, I would choose the travel over the online school any day.   :D  

 

 

 

Ah

I know.  I just got bit by the travel bug.    They said they would be able to take a vacation during the year.  Just have to make stuff up or log in on vacation.  But honestly that is the last thing I would want to do on vacation, the logging on.   And maybe they would let you do 1 vacation, but we go on a lot during the year.  We have been on 3 since January.   We have one that is over the start of their school year.   I am torn about doing this or not.   I know it would put a damper on my vacations.  Getting permission from teachers and then just feeling like it wasn't worth it.  

I am kind of talking myself out of it now. 

For us it is no problem.  We see the trip as school anyhow.  We mostly go to National Parks, museums, and other neat places.   And we school year round so if we take 2 week vacation no worries since we dont have to be done with school on June 1st or anything.

 

Yes I know if I had gotten all the way through with a kid I would be able to see that everything would just work out and I didn't need to worry about it.  You know how you worried that your kid would never be potty trained with your 1st and the others, you didn't bat an eye.

 

 

Just thanks so much for everyone talking to me about this.  

We do have a coop that we go to but it got over in April and since then we don't have a group that we get together with, so I guess I am just feeling like the odd one out at the moment.  Seeing all the things the PS kids are doing at the end of the year and comparing.   

 

[musicianmom]

*

Edited May 21, 2022 by musicianmom

[Guest]

Yes the forgetting of the facts!!

I think this is what brought on the self doubt all of sudden.

 

 

That and as they get older I see the visible things they are missing out on. Groups, dances, sports, band......

 

I spend so much money just to make up for the fact of the things they are missing. I could save so much by sending them to PS and eventually getting a job once the youngest was school age.

 

 

 

It really does help to hear the vetreans tell me their thoughts. i know if I could see the future 20 years down the road I could have peace with it. I just can't though. Dh and I were not homeschooled so this is an experiment so to say. I can't afford to get it wrong and I just feel like everything is on me. You know what I mean?

Well, we have been part of an awesome co-op forever, so that did help keep me from feeling as though they missed out on anything important. They had trips and playgroups and friends and organized activities and learning along with others. But, let me just re-frame something for you: kids in schools are missing out on the things kids can do in homeschooling. When all my kids were HSed, we took trips on off-peak times: we went to the ocean in September, Disney in October, took advantage of mid-week deals for snow skiing. We could enjoy the library when it wasn't packed, see movies when they were $2.00, go to the zoo and walk at our leisure. I loved that my kids did not have those packed-full schedules of some others I knew. They participated in sports and music and activities, but it wasn't after standing at a bus stop at 7:45, going to school all day, coming home to homework and heading off to choir practice, while scarfing down a cheeseburger in the car. We did not live this way and I am SO glad.

 

Neither DH nor I were hsed, either, and when I began, I did not know ONE person who hsed. It was me going off on one of my weird tangents. At the time, the internet was not as strong a resource as it is now and just finding a homeschool group to participate in was difficult and took a LONG time. My in-laws were varying degrees of totally dumbstruck that I would do something so strange. So, it was a huge leap of faith for me.

 

I hsed my kids until 9th grade, after which they have gone to a private school. No, we did not know what the outcome would be, and I am not finished yet, but I am not sorry I chose this life (well, usually not.) I feel very close and connected to my kids. I think that would have been more difficult to do had we all gone off to are own places every day.

[elegantlion]

I homeschooled because neither ds or I are morning people.  :huh: Okay, not really a reason, but a perk. I used to feel guilty because we would start school later, but I realized I like the control (choice, maybe) of shaping my son's education. 

 

We started homeschooling in first grade when we couldn't afford private school tuition anymore. We gave it three years. After three years, we realized homeschooling fit with our lifestyle and we weren't doing it just for savings. We opted to give it three more years, then another three and by high school ds was invested into homeschooling as well. 

 

Even with one child, the benefits made it a great option for us. When he was younger his father (we are since divorced) work late. Homeschooling afforded him the opportunity to stay up late and still be rested the next day for school. In elementary school, his work level spanned about 4 grade levels, between math, writing, science, and basic comprehension he was all over the board. It was easy to tailor each subject to his ability not a grade level. That way the subjects he needed extra help with (and probably would have received remedial attention in school) were addressed while not shortchanging the things that made school interesting to him. 

 

As he got older and learning leveled out, he was allowed input in what he would study. I realize that can be more challenging with multiple children, but I felt it was important that he get a say in how his education evolved. 

 

High school saw challenges with a divorce and a family member with illness that required a lot of our attention. He had the time and flexibility to do school in the hospital when it needed to be done. 

 

He started college this year and made honor role both semesters (4.0 for spring). He just got home from a trip to Japan through the school, a dream trip for him. The stories I've heard made it apparent that the independent nature of homeschooling had prepared him well to handle being abroad. 

 

His personality is a lot like mine. Public school did me no favors. Ds has a curiosity about learning that he can separate from strictly labeled school work. he was an average student while homeschooling, working hard only the areas that interested him. The getting up late perk, well it is a perk and it's okay to think of those outlying benefits to homeschool beyond education. I believe ds has a greater sense of self worth because we homeschooled. He's been able to define himself without a daily host of peek pressure. I see that in other homeschooled students as well. 

 

Did I ever have self-doubt - sure. I asked a lot of questions, I read a lot, I readjusted when needed, and I stayed honest with ds as he got older. Now that he has graduated it's easy to look back and see that we did okay, but in those moments, there was some closing my eyes and plowing ahead not quite sure where the path was going to lead. 

[FaithManor]

So why do you homeschool? Academics. Particularly math and science, the education of which is atrocious in our area for the most part.

 

Do you ever have self doubt about homeschooling? Occasionally, but that eased a lot after our eldest dd got into college and was a successful student and young adult.

 

What do you think the pros are for you?  Close relationship with my kids, flexibility for us to travel and do more project based learning which makes me very happy. The cons? We are scrambling to cover college expenses and make sure we have enough money saved for retirement due to remaining single income for so long. I really at times miss my music career an awful lot!

 

Do you think your kids are getting as good an education as public school kids?  Better? Definitely better than what is available within commuting distance of us.

 

Do you think homeschooled kids give up things by not going to public school? Absolutely. Most notably band and choir, chess team, debate, robotics teams, better lab equipment, art instruction. But the flexibility of not being tied to a brick and mortar schedule also allowed them to take part in other things, travels, 4-H events that would have been too far away to manage on a PS calendar, work experiences that took place during the school day, DNR volunteer work, etc. so it probably evens out.

 

 

 

 

 

I need some support from people who are more experienced in this.  If you went all the way through or have older kids that homeschool.  

What do you love about it? I adore teens, so love spending the extra time with them. I love the discussions, the projects, and the strides for independence. I love our travels and unusual experiences. I am pretty certain we read a lot more here, cover a wider range of literature, and sometimes we learn new things together.

What keeps you going on the tough days? The end goal. Dd turned out to be an amazing woman. Eldest ds just finished his freshman year of college and it was great. He really thrived. So I persevere for the other two because I know it is worth it.

 

What do you use for your homeschool? Since I have mostly high schoolers and am not fond of much of the high school level homeschooling materials available, I use a ton of AP and other college textbooks combined with Great Course lectures for supplement and learning to take notes. We have used MIT opencourseware in the past as well. We also do some DE online, and have set a few AP exams but they are hard to get in our area so I am giving up on that from here on out. Since our third child has just graduated from homeschooling, I will have only one next year, a junior, and he will be taking the MOOC Coursera Robotics Engineering course through UPenn beginning in August.

 

Are you all on your own, through an online public school, or something else? Mostly dh and I are on our own, but some DE here and there.

[OlgaLA]

I homeschool because I feel I don't have a choice. I started homeschooling when my DD was in 3rd grade, because her homework consisted of a million problems on addition and subtraction within 10. It was very easy, but she was really easily distracted, so it took forever, especially with her toddler brother requiring my attention.  She stayed home for almost a year, and then I found supposedly great Catholic school. I saw kids from that school, saw their homework, and I liked it. Worst mistake of my life. After three years of that, I brought her back home, with about the same level of knowledge as she had at end of 3rd grade, minus her love of math and happiness. She had As, but her ITBS scores were falling. She has always been intense, in school she became borderline depressed. So sometimes I think that I am not giving her the best education, but then I hear her laugh, and it makes it worth all the trouble. I see her peers in the fencing club, who say they sleep about 6 hours a night, and I am glad that she gets her sleep.

 

With my son it is harder to say. I homeschool him to provide challenge mostly. He could probably do well in school, but since I am home anyway, I can educate him, too. So far I am sure he gets better education than he could get in school.

 

I do have my moments of intense doubts. So in my moments of clarity I tell my husband not to let me send them back to school just because it is too hard :)

[mamiof5]

So many reasons for us to homeschool!!! The time spent with my kids is just precious, and life goes by so fast. Homeschooling is not only our educational choice, it's our lifestyle, it's who we are and what we do. Through homeschooling we can provide the religious education we desire for our children. Pretty much, we do our own thing and live life how we want to live it. Do I have meltdowns? Oh yeah! Not different from what I'd have after a bad day at work. Is it easy? No, it's not. The benefits outweigh the cons though. Oh! And I haven't homeschooled all the way through highschool...we just finished our 4th year homeschooling. For how long will we keep going? Until God wants us to :)

[AK_Mom4]

I homeschool because I can.

We keep going year after year because DD prefers it and is thriving. This is what got us through the hard years and the bad days.

 

I have self-doubt about homeschooling. And about parenting. And about being married. And about just about everything in my life. I'm really confident in my ability to doubt myself.

 

There totally is light at the end of the tunnel. Homeschooling for high school is so much more fun for me (and DD) than the drudge of mastering skills in the lower grades. We are both enjoying the material more, which makes the days go by faster.

 

Hugs, OP. It's hard when you are in the trenches with so many little ones.

[mamiof5]

I hsed because I was called by God to do so. And He has given me the strength to do it, through rough pregnancies, many miscarriages, and death of my sil. We persevered through job loss, and horrible cattle prices, and many surgeries, and disappointments. And through it all, my children have thrived. Oh, my middle admitted that she would have rather been at the high school (I knew that) but she knew that we'd made the right decision for her. My children have gotten to do so many things: horses, sheep, building forts, college classes, many orchestras, puppies, Eagle projects, senior recitals, working on political campaigns, but best of all, being there for their sister through her tragedy, being there when another sister tossed her cover at Commissioning, being there for the next one's surgeries, ending many dreams. My children know that we count on them. And they count on each other. Ah, the delight they all took in surprising Navy girl with a special birthday present a few weeks ago, and the pride on my youngest dd's face when she watched her dear sis get crowned rodeo queen. That rodeo queen has a special surprise for Navy girl--she's riding the Patriot Night rodeo in honor of her. Ds learned a new programming language because his sis was struggling with it and he said he'd teach it to her. I asked my youngest where she was headed tonight, "Oh, I have to go feed Lila, since sis isn't here to do it." That sis will be walking youngest's lambs as she'll be gone a lot this summer. Several of my children have foregone senior parties in order to fly to CA to see Navy girl. My oldest called youngest today, to say, "Help, I need some extra music for this wedding! Can you scan it?" So, she did. When ds Commissions, he's hoping Navy girl will do his First Salute.

 

Persevere ladies. It's worth it.

God called me to do it too! Too bad we took our sweet time answering the call, so our oldest went to PS :(

[kroe1]

Hang in there. I am seeing the fruit of the labor. Yes, for all the crazy days, doubt, feelings of inadequacy, stress, and exhaustion, it is worth it. It is so worth it.

[TammyS]

.   I could save so much by sending them to PS and eventually getting a job once the youngest was school age. 

 

 

 

I have a theory, for which I have no hard evidence, but I believe in my soul to be true: When you are a parent, you pay.  One way or another, you pay.  Time, money, heartache.  You pay.  IMO, there is no getting out of it.  At best, you can rearrange the forms of payment, maybe, or at least convince yourself that you are doing so.  But in the end - you pay.

[The Girls' Mom]

I started homeschooling (when my girls were 6th and 3rd graders) because I hated seeing my kids come home every day miserable, and I realized that I could do at least as good of a job educating them at home, without all the drama.  

 

I kept homeschooling them because I realized that they could get a far better education at home than at our public school.  I also realized that I would be much closer to them as teens than I would if they continued in the PS environment.  

 

However, pretty much every year, my dh had to remind me of these things when I was ready to throw in the towel.  My oldest was a frustrating child to educate.  My younger two had a year or so that I thought we'd never make it through.  But we did.  My oldest graduated and is in college with friends that she started off in public school with.  She thanks me regularly for keeping her home.  She has seen first hand how hard our PS was on her peers, and how much more she has learned in the same amount of time.  My younger two are now seniors and have good college prospects.  They were given the option to go to PS in the 10th grade and turned it down.  They are happy with our choice.  I am happy with how responsible and self-confident they are.  I love the ability all three have to interact well with people of all ages and backgrounds...something many of their PS peers struggle with.  

Some things they've been able to do because they were homeschooled:  make friends with people all over the country, and of many ages, that they have remained friends with them over the years.  They've been able to spend time on volunteering, fencing classes, ballroom dance, etc.  They've had a relaxed high school experience without all the stress we see in their PS friends.  They've been able to develop some out of the box interests (my oldest loves languages and has taken classes in several different ones). One of my twins has been able to pursue forensic science classes and projects, and is set to major in it in college.  

Our curriculum started off with a binder of Weaver curriculum, which was the only thing I could find when I first began.  It shifted over the years to Sonlight, then to more WTM aligned, then to a mish mash of whatever worked best for my girls.  Now in our last year, one daughter is completely outsourced (DE and co-op) and the other has picked out what works for her to finish up her credits.  

 

We made it. It was hard.  It was fun.  It was worth it.  

[DawnM]

I homeschooled because I have a son with LDs and Asperger's and he couldn't cope with B&M school.  Then we moved across the country so I homeschooled all of them that year and quit my job.  

 

We found that the schedule worked for us at the time and my Aspie needed me home, so we just kept doing it.   And by schedule I mean Disney in October...... :lol:

 

Truth be told, I am not a HSer really.  I don't think B&M school is the great evil of society.  I wanted to stop HSing a while ago.

 

My perfect HS curriculum would be mostly on their own, like Rod and Staff or CLE.  Workbooks.  But my oldest couldn't do it on his own, so we did Sonlight, with mostly me reading.

 

 

[HomeAgain]

Before I answer, why do you homeschool?  What are your answers to your questions?

 

So why do you homeschool? This time it is because we couldn't afford the private school and the public school is too long and their methods are inappropriate.  Plus it is better for my 6yo.

 

Do you ever have self doubt about homeschooling? Not anymore, no.  I did, when I went through it the first cycle, but no.

 

What do you think the pros are for you?

A tailored education. Flexible lifestyle.

The cons? 

It can be expensive if I don't work, and the homeschool community is a shattered mirror.  We're all here, but the broken shards tend to poke each other and some aren't the "right" piece of glass to fit in the square box.

Do you think your kids are getting as good an education as public school kids?  Better?  Better.  Very much so.  I spend a lot of time developing curriculum and weaving in standards.  I plan art, music, science, history, and p.e. at a much greater frequency than school, and we don't waste time on review or skip past things when review is needed. 

 

Do you think homeschooled kids give up things by not going to public school? 

Yes.  My oldest gave up friends.  When we moved, we went from an academic-centered group of homeschoolers to a religious group, in a religious town.  I ended up with a teen doing online work and never making a connection with another kid his age.  We put him in a small school the next year and he flourished.  I believe in homeschooling, but only if my children are thriving.  He was not.  The 6yo, otoh, finds lots of friends his age. There is no worries yet that he is missing out.

 

 

 

I need some support from people who are more experienced in this.  If you went all the way through or have older kids that homeschool.  

What do you love about it? It is GREAT to go on a new adventure every day with your kids!  It really is!  For the same reason, that is why I don't like workbook curriculum much.  We're much more of doers, not fill-in-blankers.

What keeps you going on the tough days? Mental breaks.  Mom nights.  People who have already walked through my path and can listen to me cry. ;)

 

What do you use for your homeschool?

Um, free and cheap. LOL  I build my own using a lot of living books, random things I find that I can work in, and easy activities.  We use MEP for math, and I'll be using SOTW next year because I own it already.  I am using a 9-cube to help me plan.  Each box is a unit (plus the first for spine/main resources) and they have books, manipulatives and other things shoved in so I can plan the unit effectively. 

Are you all on your own, through an online public school, or something else?

On our own. :D

[freesia]

I homeschool because I'm out of my mind. :lol:

 

Haha... Ok for the most part I'm very happy we homeschool. This past year was just rough. Probably most people have their moments or bad years.

 

How do I keep going? Pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going.....

Lol I've been avoiding this thread bc this is exactly what I wanted to answer!!! This end of the year is s bad time for this question. Ask me in August.

[hornblower]

I had a horrible dream a few days ago where someone was telling me something bad about one of my kids and saying "don't you think your homeschooling led to to this?"  I woke up in a cold sweat convinced that whatever the issue was, I was totally to blame. 

The doubts don't go away. I have one kid graduated (in post secondary on the honor roll) and one kid at home for one last year. We homeschooled all the way through, pretty much always on our own. 

We did it

for family togetherness

for travelling in the shoulder season

for the ability to give them a tailored and unique education 

for the freedom to pursue interests and just hang out and have a relaxed childhood

& mostly 'cause we just really liked spending time with them and once we started, we didn't see a reason to stop. 

It is hard but I think parenting is hard & I didn't see any of the alternatives as being much easier. I mean, yeah, if you send them to school you can blame other people for when things go wrong but at the end of the day, as a responsible parent I'd still be trying to sort out solutions and fixes and then I'd have to deal with responsibility but no authority. It's easier to just be in charge of it all IMO...

 

Edited May 29, 2016 by hornblower

[Janeway]

Because the public school is failing to educate the children while putting them under enormous stress. The parents are still teaching the kids at home after school and on weekends and summers. The kids basically go to school to be tested all day long.  Where I live, the kids spend their summers in academic camps. They spend their evenings and weekends with tutors. 

[AmazingGrace]

So many reasons for us to homeschool!!! The time spent with my kids is just precious, and life goes by so fast. Homeschooling is not only our educational choice, it's our lifestyle, it's who we are and what we do. Through homeschooling we can provide the religious education we desire for our children. Pretty much, we do our own thing and live life how we want to live it. Do I have meltdowns? Oh yeah! Not different from what I'd have after a bad day at work. Is it easy? No, it's not. The benefits outweigh the cons though. Oh! And I haven't homeschooled all the way through highschool...we just finished our 4th year homeschooling. For how long will we keep going? Until God wants us to :)

 

I so agree with everything you wrote, but especially the bolded.  My oldest is 16 and we are each others best friends. She will be leaving home soon enough and I want to enjoy every day I can with her.

 

I really enjoy most aspects of home schooling - but most especially the upper grades.  Discussing ideas, world views, learning life together.

 

The other things that I really appreciate about being able to home school is the flexibility of schedule, the fun of researching and choosing curriculum, and the bonding I feel we have as a family.  

 

The biggest thing I struggle with is that because we live so rural we can't really be involved in group stuff.  We don't have the opportunities for sports, or drama, or debate, etc. NO big home-schooling group or co-op.   But I still wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

We have a rather relaxed view of what constitutes a good education.  Of course, I want my children to be strong in math, reading and writing.  We concentrate on those things. But after that's taken care of, we just have fun together doing a lot of interest driven stuff. Very stress-free.  We make liberal use of online courses.  My 11th grader will be doing mostly online courses next year (I think).  

 

When the children were younger, we did a lot of classes together.  Especially science, history and bible.  Besides the obvious of saving time, it was just a lot of fun to do it that way.  

[mamiof5]

I so agree with everything you wrote, but especially the bolded. My oldest is 16 and we are each others best friends. She will be leaving home soon enough and I want to enjoy every day I can with her.

 

I really enjoy most aspects of home schooling - but most especially the upper grades. Discussing ideas, world views, learning life together.

 

The other things that I really appreciate about being able to home school is the flexibility of schedule, the fun of researching and choosing curriculum, and the bonding I feel we have as a family.

 

The biggest thing I struggle with is that because we live so rural we can't really be involved in group stuff. We don't have the opportunities for sports, or drama, or debate, etc. NO big home-schooling group or co-op. But I still wouldn't have it any other way.

 

We have a rather relaxed view of what constitutes a good education. Of course, I want my children to be strong in math, reading and writing. We concentrate on those things. But after that's taken care of, we just have fun together doing a lot of interest driven stuff. Very stress-free. We make liberal use of online courses. My 11th grader will be doing mostly online courses next year (I think).

 

When the children were younger, we did a lot of classes together. Especially science, history and bible. Besides the obvious of saving time, it was just a lot of fun to do it that way.

We've lived both sides of the spectrum. We have an oldest dd who we didn't homeschool. We are very close and have a great relationship, but homeschooling is just different. As you said, learning together is such an adventure! It saddens me that we didn't have that with her. I totally understand how it must be hard for you to live in rural area and don't have other activities, homeschooling groups etc, that must be really hard :( I'm glad you are sticking with homeschooling though! It's such a wonderful lifestyle...I just love it :)

[Carrie12345]

Ah

 

Does anyone kind of have a homeschool melt down sometimes?  Do you ever start thinking why am I doing this? 

 

Most days.  :lol:

 

Maybe it was just a perfect storm.  Some frustrating days, dh out of town, me trying to keep my head up with 5 kids 10 and under.   But I just started thinking this week why am I doing this?  Is it really better than what they would get at public school?  

 

Are the things they are giving up worth the trade off?  

IMO, yes.

Are they getting as good an education as the public school kids? 

Mine are getting an almost entirely DIFFERENT education. For the most part, I'm not interested in a better/worse comparison.

 

I just have a lot of self doubt.  If I had older kids who made it all the way through then maybe I could relax or have confidence in this journey.  

 

So why do you homeschool? 

My reasons for starting and my reasons for continuing today are almost entirely different.  Today, it's because I want my kids to have the freedom and flexibility to participate in "the real world" and enjoy all it has to offer, while also learning.  Not just studying for when they're eventually considered "real" people.

 

Do you ever have self doubt about homeschooling? 

Always.  The middle school years have been the scariest for me.  I went through periods when I was convinced I had screwed up my kids for life.  I was beginning to convince myself I had wasted years and years and that my kids might be doomed.

 

What do you think the pros are for you?  The cons?

Cons:

Self-doubt, lol

$$$

The enormous pressure I put on myself

Arguing about boring assignments

Pros:

Sleeping in

Watching light bulbs turn on over kids' heads

Setting our own schedules

Meeting their academic, social, and emotional needs where they are, instead of expectations set by birth date.

Watching them grow as a part of our community.

 

Do you think your kids are getting as good an education as public school kids?  Better? 

I don't know.  I do know my kids are happy, healthy, good citizens with varied interests and a lot of self-confidence.

 

Do you think homeschooled kids give up things by not going to public school? 

Yes.  Just like ps kids give up things by not homeschooling.  Something has to give.

 

 

 

 

I need some support from people who are more experienced in this.  If you went all the way through or have older kids that homeschool.  

What do you love about it?

See above

What keeps you going on the tough days?

The good ones.  That surprisingly good essay, the excellent co-op report card, adults telling me how awesome my monsters are, my near-adult child helping the younger ones with  tough assignments, my 5yo asking if he can experiment with giving flowers different things to drink, my daughter signing up for fire school, my other daughter asking to work on early high school credit, knowing my kids had time to eat before a game while hearing other kids begging for dinner during the last inning at 8:30pm...

 

What do you use for your homeschool?

This, that, and what fits each kid today.

 

Are you all on your own, through an online public school, or something else?

Flying solo. (Within state regs.)

 

 

I think some of this doubt stems from me trying to make the choice if I should online school with a state public school or not.  I have to make that choice soon.

They would get a lot of support, curriculum, and money for outside classes (which would be awesome), but they would have to do testing and I dont know if they would be open with travel during the school year.  Which we already have some set up for this next year.

We tried online school for one year with #1 and one year with #2.  It wasn't the right fit for us, but it works beautifully for many people we know.

[AmazingGrace]

Mamiof5

 

 

 

We've lived both sides of the spectrum. We have an oldest dd who we didn't homeschool. We are very close and have a great relationship, but homeschooling is just different. As you said, learning together is such an adventure! It saddens me that we didn't have that with her.

 

{Hugs}  It sounds like you are still close?  If so, that's the important thing.   :001_smile:

 

I totally understand how it must be hard for you to live in rural area and don't have other activities, homeschooling groups etc, that must be really hard  :(

 

It is.  It would be even harder without the internet, so I am really grateful for that at least.  I can chat on online forums  :blushing:, my children can learn robotics, coding or whatever they are interested in without me having to be the expert.

 

I'm glad you are sticking with homeschooling though! It's such a wonderful lifestyle...I just love it  :)

 

Me too.  

 

Totally off topic, but why with as many post as you have are you "just visiting".  I have less than 10 and am "larvae"  :eek:.  How does that work?

 

[gypsymama]

Does anyone kind of have a homeschool melt down sometimes?  Do you ever start thinking why am I doing this? Of course LOL. Some days are tough but then again parenting is tough. To be fair my children have been (briefly) to ps and I had more "why am I doing this" days then than I do hsing.

 

Is it really better than what they would get at public school?  IMO yes! By a LOT. But that's my opinion for my children.

 

Are the things they are giving up worth the trade off?  I can do dances, sports, etc with homeschooling. We can attend co-ops for the "school with kids" experience. In fact in my area if I chose we could attend multiple co-ops so that we are "in school" 3-5x/wk. I don't see anything that they are giving up.

 

Are they getting as good an education as the public school kids? Better! I am not at all impressed with the current ps education. The curricula is crap and the grades have even been dropped. When I was in school it was a point of honor to be an all A's or an A/B student b/c you'd worked hard. Not now. Now "A/B" students can have what use to be C grades. 

 

So why do you homeschool? We have homeschooled for multiple reasons over the years. At one point it was because we traveled with dh's job. We lived in an RV and homeschooled so that we could be together as a family. When we stopped traveling it was because we lived in a bad area and there was NO way I'd send my kids to those schools. Ever. Now we live in a beautiful area with good schools by current standards but I still hs. More family time, we schedule our lives on our own time with just dh's job to worry about instead of a ps schedule, I don't have to stress or make decisions for my children's health based on truancy bs, no worries about danger, I don't have to afterschool to supplement poor ps education, no late nights crying over an assignment (that I can't help with since I don't have access to the TM to understand the point of), no bullying, no peer pressure, etc.

 

Do you ever have self doubt about homeschooling? I do have self doubt at times but I don't think for one second that public school could do better.

 

What do you think the pros are for you?  The cons? Pros are a connected, loving family with lots of time together and a front row seat to my children's education and life at all times. I'm there for everything. I cherish that. We get to plan our live around US not the public school. Cons would be not enough time for mom. We have no help with our children and dh works to support us so it's all on me. That can be stressful. I have days that I think if they were in school... but truth is I wouldn't get that time "off" plus it'd add other chores/stress anyways so it's a trade off.

 

Do you think your kids are getting as good an education as public school kids?  Better? Yes way better. I've seen many recent graduates with low math skills, low reading/spelling skills and HORRIFIC grammar. Next time I see someone use AN in place AND so help me...  Seriously I frequently say that if my kids "graduate" homeschool with the ability to add/subtract/multiply/divide, read, and know their homophones I'll be happy and they'd be better educated than ps.

 

Do you think homeschooled kids give up things by not going to public school? Sure. There are generally way less drugs, alcohol and opportunistic sex moments in a homeschooler's life. Seriously though, no I don't think my kids have given up anything by being homeschooled instead of ps.

 

What do you love about it? We plan around us not the ps. Since we can do everything in off times (travel, day time movies, etc) we can have more enrichment on less income making it easier for dh to be home with us more. I don't have to worry about not knowing something because I wasn't there (ie a bully situation, a medical symptom starting, ?). No "keeping up with the Joneses" peer pressure. I get to see all their achievements. They can learn in the methods best suited to each child. They don't have undue stress over something insignificant. They can focus on their interests. Oh boy I could go on and on....

 

What keeps you going on the tough days? Wine and chocolate after bedtime? When I have bad days I just stop. We don't homeschool on bad days. If we get started and attitudes really suck we stop and have a day off. I'm not going to force them. We step back, discuss and re-evaluate. Usually that means we take the morning off with some reconnect family time then do the work together later in the day sometimes it's the whole day off though. 

 

What do you use for your homeschool? A mix of items that I choose, mostly vintage texts. The children do a variety of classes, sports, activities, etc outside of the home. We also participate in community and co-ops as possible. 

 

Are you all on your own, through an online public school, or something else? All on our own in a sea of family that doesn't support us in this journey.

 

ETA: Color for clarity!

Edited May 30, 2016 by gypsymama

[happypamama]

Oh, gee, the reasons depend on the day, and on any given day, any one of them might be more important than the others.

 

Because I like my children, and I like being with them, and I like learning with them and seeing the lightbulb moments.

Flexibility to take off for birthdays, extended family visits, etc.

Because it's nasty hot here in July/August and freezing cold in February, so it's a good time to do schoolwork then and have off in the nice weather

Family togetherness and family dependency more than peer dependency, especially early on

So my children can have bathroom and water breaks when their bodies tell them.

To avoid bullying

Religious reasons

Because each of my children learns a little differently (which is why I have at least three math programs)

So my children can study, to a point, the things they want to study, like languages early, Latin, and music

Because arts are important too

Political reasons (Admittedly, this and religious reasons are probably less of an issue around here.)

So I can introduce topics like abortion when I feel they're appropriate/so my children can get accurate information about sex and such.

Because some of my kids aren't quiet bored, and a public school classroom can't meet their academic needs.

Because I had too many teachers who didn't know their subjects (although I had some who were really excellent)

So we can do activities during the day and not be running around too much at night

Because my shyer child wasn't ready for a public school classroom, and he'd have been lost in public school K, and by keeping him home

Because my child who is a people person who would tdo fine in a classroom is fun to have around, and he thrives here at home

Because I dislike fundraisers

Because my children will never be shot at home or get into knife fights

Because I want flexibility to stay up late for good reasons and still get the sleep their bodies need

Because I have a low tolerance for stupidity and bureaucracy

Because I don't want to pack lunch every day, and because school lunches are largely crap.

Because first grade doesn't need six or seven hours of work a day, and because I don't want high school to be a day of sitting and then hours of homework.

Because public school gym class was lousy and miserable and because I prefer a "fitness for life" approach

Because I don't trust a public school to handle an EpiPen emergency very well

 

Sometimes I homeschool because I want the advantages of homeschooling, and sometimes it's so I can avoid the downsides of public school.

 

The downsides of homeschooling: more people around means more mess; it means I have less time to dedicate to my little ones; it means financial costs (for materials, but also in money I'm not making through a job -- IF I would have one anyway).  It also means I'm always on, and sometimes being Teacher and Mom can be tough.  But the upsides outweigh the downsides.

[Critterfixer]

 

 

 So why do you homeschool? For both child reasons and selfish me reasons. Both sets of reasons boil down to freedom.

 

Do you ever have self doubt about homeschooling? All the time. But they are not as paralyzing as when the boys were younger and we had our struggles with reading and math. Ever want to experience loads of self-doubt, have one struggling with reading and the other struggling with math at the same time. It's loads of discomfort. Top that off with some really bad standardized test scores the first year you test. Yeah. Fun that.

 

What do you think the pros are for you?  The cons? Pros-it all boils down to freedom. I don't think either of my boys would be as confident in their studies now had we not taken the time to go at the pace they needed to become confident. I know that had they been pushed in some areas before they were ready, that it would have killed some of the joy they get out of writing right now. And I'm selfishly, piggishly happy to be able to teach writing my way, to adapt the classical writing methods I'm learning for myself to give the boys the flexibility for their creativity to flourish. The cons would be that I've never done this before. I don't know how it is going to turn out in the end, if I'm ruining their lives or their future prospects by being the way I am, and teaching the way I do. It does take up a lot of my time in a day, and I get tired. I have given up most of a career for homeschooling. On the other hand, I've found some interesting things in life to keep me enthralled, and I've gotten the chance to take up writing again in a serious way.

 

Do you think your kids are getting as good an education as public school kids?  Better?  Yes and yes.

 

Do you think homeschooled kids give up things by not going to public school? Yes. Quite a lot of things. But they would give up more of what is important to them right now if they gave up homeschooling for public school. There are very few good things in life that don't involve a trade-off of some kind.

 

On the tough days, I remind myself that there is always tomorrow, and the day after that. And that cloudy days with storms are not only a part of life, but they often have their own strange beauty once the thunder and lightning abate somewhat. I am also somewhat blessed with a very low emotional response to bad days. I can endure a rough day or week, and not blame myself or the child for it. It's just a bad spot--might be fixable, might need attention, or we might just need to make a detour. I count myself lucky that I just don't mire down mentally in a place for very long. I'm not sure how much of that is learned, and how much is just personality.

 

Curriculum is in my signature. I feel free to adapt, make changes and toss whatever doesn't work if I can't fix it. And most of the time, I can.

 

I do my own thing, following state regs, which are just fine with me.

Edited May 30, 2016 by Critterfixer