The magic of christmas with teenagers?

[abba12]

I've seen in a few threads now people making the comment that the magic of Christmas or excitement of christmas isn't there so much any more as all their children are older. I'm far from that stage right now but I was wondering if anyone does anything to keep that excitement going or make Christmas special with older ones.

 

I remember as a kid, even once I hit teenagerhood my parents always managed to find me a gift that wasn't what I was expecting, wasn't just practical. Sometimes it was a new hobby to try or some game I'd never heard of or some pretty bits and pieces. I certainly didn't know all my gifts ahead of time, Christmas morning was still very exciting even as a 16 or 17 year old. My husband was much the same. But, thinking back, I'm not really sure HOW my parents did that for us. So, if you manage to pull this off, how do you do it?

[Jan in SC]

I have three teens and they love Christmas. They enjoy hot chocolate, games, puzzles, going out to dinner and then looking for the best (tackiest) Christmas lights, and going to the zoo to see their lights. We go out of town for special Christmas events, and usually two of them perform in something for the holidays. We include grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and try to have as much fun as possible.

 

I do go a little over the top with gifts, and so do my parents, so they do get some surprises, but I think they would enjoy it just as much if they didn't get those.

 

I think some of it is personality. One of mine is less inclined to join in on board games, so we just keep bugging him and then either we have a fabulous time, or their bedroom doors slam from frustration an hour or two later. I'd rather keep trying than have a house full of blah people. (We are a yell and get over it family!)

[Lady Florida.]

My teen loves Christmas. He loves to help decorate, and in fact took over several years ago from his dad doing the outdoor decorations. He wraps all the presents, because he enjoys it not because I ask him to. He listens to the Christmas radio station even when he's in the car by himself. He still enjoys driving through neighborhoods looking at lights. This year he's invited his girlfriend to come with us when we go. I think Jan might be right in that it's a personality thing.

 

As for gifts, we generally know what he wants. He doesn't expect any big WOW! gifts, which makes him really excited when he occasionally gets a big gift. Even the years he hasn't gotten big gifts, we've always been able to come up with something he likes. He enjoys watching others open gifts too. This year he's looking forward to playing with his little nephews and helped choose their gifts.

 

 

Edited December 19, 2015 by Lady Florida

[happi duck]

My two are college age and we all love Christmas.

 

We have traditions that were never really dependent on being a little kid so maybe that made a difference.

 

Also, none of us know what our gifts are ahead of time which to me makes it more fun.

 

That said, I agree with pp that personality plays a part.

[Catwoman]

Christmas is my ds15's favorite day of the year. :hurray: His gifts are still surprises and we still follow all of our usual family traditions. WE LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

[J-rap]

My kids are mostly college-aged now, and they absolutely love Christmas!  We do give surprise gifts still, but I guess gifts were never THE main focus, and maybe that's part of it?  We do have lots of traditions, which we usually (but not always) bring into the celebration.  We watch Christmas movies and bake and I decorate the house a bit and we have a real tree.  We play Christmas music constantly beginning the day after Thanksgiving, and drink a Ho-Ho Mint Mocha at our local coffee chain.  We may see a Christmas concert, or sometimes a holiday parade.  We collect points on a credit card and will often use them to stay in a nice hotel in our state's capital city sometime during the season, which is always so pretty at Christmastime.  And of course all the snow on the ground...

[DawnM]

Eh, Christmas is fun but not the be all end all.

 

Part of it is, I hate surprises.  Truly hate them.  I hate getting gifts I don't like and hate that people spent money on them.

 

I won't get my kids too much not on the list OR things that I am not sure they actually want.  

 

But we have homemade cin. rolls and a Turkey dinner.

Edited December 23, 2015 by DawnM

[mamiof5]

My teen loves Christmas. He loves to help decorate, and in fact took over from his dad doing the outdoor decorations. He wraps all the presents, because he enjoys it not because I ask him to. He listens to the Christmas radio station even when he's in the car by himself. He still enjoys driving through neighborhoods looking at lights. This year he's invited his girlfriend to come with us when we go. I think Jan might be right in that it's a personality thing.

 

As for gifts, we generally know what he wants. He doesn't expect any big WOW! gifts, which makes him really excited when he occasionally gets a big gift. Even the years he hasn't gotten big gifts, we've always been able to come up with something he likes. He enjoys watching others open gifts too. This year he's looking forward to playing with his little nephews and helped choose their gifts.

Could I please borrow him if he runs out of stuff to do? Santa's shop over here could greatly use his help :)

[JustEm]

Most of my memories of Christmas have nothing to do with the gifts I received. They are all about the traditions we had surrounding Christmas such as, getting the tree, decorating the tree, making homemade ravioli with dad(still do this,) visit relatives, making coffee for the older family memebers before they woke up(this later turned into making breakfast') midnight Mass, watch Christmas Story all day long, etc. Christmas was still magical but that is because presents were never the main focus for me.

[SparklyUnicorn]

The most magical thing about Xmas with teens is that they let you sleep in on Xmas morning! Seriously, it's awesome.

 

Haha! I'm looking forward to that.

[Halftime Hope]

The things about late teens/young adults: if you carefully cultivate "Christmas fun" in them from early on, they will see Christmas as that time of year when they are done with the semester and they can come home, leave all their worries/work behind, and just enjoy hanging out.  In our case, I have to compete with their at-home friends, so I may only see them half the time, but I'll take those hours gladly.

 

Among our family traditions:  we usually go out driving to see Christmas lights one evening, ooh and aah as though we were three year olds (because we have the eldest on a family video doing that when he was three), and laugh ourselves silly taking selfies with the odd or whimsical display on someone's lawn.  Now that they are adults and each have their own thermal coffee container, we take those with us, filled with hot chocolate.  (The thermal coffee containers became a rite of passage the winter after each one got their driver's license.)

 

Among the challenges as they get older:  prying them away from jobs, since young adults often work retail.  This year we had to put our foot down and insist to one employer that B____ needed off a certain evening, as that was our family night for Star Wars.  (B____ is working ALL the other "open" hours at the  retailer, but that's the only time we would all be together.)

 

Truly, it's the small things.

Edited December 19, 2015 by Halftime Hope

[HomeAgain]

I think it's still magical with our teen. :)  He's old enough now to help with the candy making and does baking of his own.  He gets more of the jokes in National Lampoon and Home Alone.  It's not so much about Santa anymore, but we do a gradual switch in our house from "Santa the man" to "Santa the giving" and he is gung-ho to go volunteer and make Christmas special for others.  I don't read A Christmas Carol to him now.... *sniff*...but I caught him slinking the well worn copy off the shelf because it's time to read a chapter a day. :)  

No, it's not the same as with a five year old.  The sweetly innocent belief and Disney-like magic isn't there, but it's more of a cozy, hanging with the grownups kind of magic and fun with the teen. 

[regentrude]

For my DD, I think the best thing about Christmas is being done with the semester, being home, having time to sleep and hang out with friends, having a kitchen in which she can bake and cook to her heart's content - and having the opportunity to produce a Christmas feast, baked goods, and party foods for our New years Eve party.

We have toned down the "christmassing" and are mainly enjoying a welcome break from everyday work and school.

Edited December 19, 2015 by regentrude

[Carrie12345]

My 17yo still enjoys the Santa Train, followed by dinner out (which isn't a regular event for us.)

He likes the baking and all the other food.

He *loves the Christmas movies and participates in quoting all the bestest lines!

He enjoys the music and sitting by the fire.  (Though it's supposed to be nearly 60* this Christmas Eve, not our typical 30* or lower!)

We still wait for him to be home to decorate the tree, and he gets into reminiscing about the history of our ornaments.

 

[UCF612]

Thabo you for posting this! I've been worried reading threads here that Christmas joy was going to end as soon as my kids got older. I've always loved Christmas and this gives me hope that maybe my kids always will too. We have lots of traditions, some involve surprise gifts and some totally unrelated to gifts, hopefully that will keep the magic alive.

[Desert Strawberry]

I'm a bit baffled by the statement that Christmas (or anything really) is less magical with a teen. My goodness. It's BETTER!

 

I only have one teen and he just turned 13 two weeks ago, but he still loves Christmas. I'm not a big gift giver. Our celebration doesn't center around gifts. That is part of it. He is still getting some good stuff. But there are better things. 

Our celebration increasingly focuses less on giving to the kids and moves towards DOING with the kids. Sagg assembled the Christmas tree, the kids decorate. He helps pick out gifts for the other kids. He can bake. He can make hot chocolate. He can choose excellent gifts for me :) He has always had exquisite taste. He know how to select good coffee and how to prepare it ( though he chooses not to partake). I love taking him holiday shopping.

 

He's not a crafty kid, but I'm looking forward to seeing Aries and Gemini assemble an entire gingerbread house on their own. It's still a few years off, but they both are anxiously awaiting the day when they can. 
 

Last night, we watched Christmas story. I didn't have to tell Sagg one time to stop talking or sit down. Priceless. 



 

[*Lulu*]

First Christmas with a teen here, and so far it is better in every way.

 

Our traditions have been restricted this year due to illness and extended family stuff, but Punk is setting a great example for the younger siblings in going with the flow. (Which for a person with ASD is HUGE!!)

 

The traditions that are most important are still there. And it is delightful to see the shift from "Christmas is about me and my fun" to "isn't it fun to make Christmas special for someone else".

 

I also am excited to see his face when he gets his present that he is convinced we would not be buying this year. He is going to flip!

[Desert Strawberry]

As far as gifts go, Sagg's gifts are a bit more practical than they used to be.

We got him an electric keyboard for his birthday. We haven't even put batteries in it yet, and he is already so in love with it. It's at the new house, we are moving this week. Yesterday, we was sitting on the floor fingering the silent keys, reading the rhythm settings and the sound settings and just LOVING it. He has waited a long time for it. 

He also got a tennis racket and will get tennis balls. He can't wait to play. He's been playing since he was 7. We still need to find a court here. That will be part of his gift. The opportunity to play. 

Every birthday, he gets an all-night game session. We might also give him a new privilege, like say a sleep over with friends or permission to go to town alone.  

 

The last gift that he hasn't received yet (because we need to find a good deal on such a pricey gift) will be an adult sized bicycle. along with this, he gets freedom. Freedom to visit his friends in our current neighborhood. 

So most of his gifts carry increased independence, increased freedom. Less entertainment value. More responsibility. 
 

[Lady Florida.]

 

We have traditions that were never really dependent on being a little kid so maybe that made a difference.

 

 

 

This might have something to do with it too. Helping to decorate, helping bake cookies, listening to music, watching Christmas movies, and riding around looking at lights aren't dependent on the kid's age. The extent to which they help and the movies you watch change as they get older, but the traditions remain the same.

 

The most magical thing about Xmas with teens is that they let you sleep in on Xmas morning! Seriously, it's awesome.

 

Yes!! It's truly magical. :D

[Guest]

We have made traditions in our family that involve helping others. Seeing how much it blesses someone else is all the magic we need. :)

[happi duck]

The most magical thing about Xmas with teens is that they let you sleep in on Xmas morning! Seriously, it's awesome.

I'm so spoiled. My kids have *always* been night owls. I don't think we've ever opened gifts before 10 or 11...and sometimes I wake them up because I can't wait!

[mamiof5]

I think it really depends on the person though. Our young adult has decided to focus on the busyness and how hectic it gets and how people are grumpy and mean this time of the year, so she admits she doesn't like Christmas that much. It makes me sad :(. She still participates on Christmas tree decorating and other traditions, but it's not the same. Hoping my others will enjoy it when they grow up

[Chris in VA]

Even though I stress a bit, my teen and 20s don't. The eldest is excited about what he can give this year, and the youngest is into decorating (she just cut greens for our mantle--love it!), and this year, the middle is coming with his family! (And thankfully, I seem to have gotten over the fact of his visiting a friend Christmas night...thanks, Hive.)

 

I think the PP nailed it on the head--making traditions that can outlast childhood is really important. We like to decorate the tree, prepare by having a holy Advent (at least having the wreath on the table at dinner and going to church!), and doing things Xmas morning, like still getting the stockings in your bed before we go downstairs. It's just a festive time for us. We get lots of goodies and the house is more decorated than any other time (I don't have a lot of knick knacks or things on the walls, so this time of year looks more "normal" than usual in our home.)

[TranquilMind]

I've seen in a few threads now people making the comment that the magic of Christmas or excitement of christmas isn't there so much any more as all their children are older. I'm far from that stage right now but I was wondering if anyone does anything to keep that excitement going or make Christmas special with older ones.

 

I remember as a kid, even once I hit teenagerhood my parents always managed to find me a gift that wasn't what I was expecting, wasn't just practical. Sometimes it was a new hobby to try or some game I'd never heard of or some pretty bits and pieces. I certainly didn't know all my gifts ahead of time, Christmas morning was still very exciting even as a 16 or 17 year old. My husband was much the same. But, thinking back, I'm not really sure HOW my parents did that for us. So, if you manage to pull this off, how do you do it?

I still do all the same things.  Wait until they are in bed.  Put presents out.  Make it a big deal.  Why not?  They still have fun, I am pretty sure. 

They like traditions, no matter how old they are. We still watch White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life, and cartoon Christmas specials.   

[Joyofsixreboot]

Teens can be wonderful. It is different than little kids but still fun. We do fun activities we don't usually get to( ice skating, laser tag, etc), we play games, we go to a movie on Christmas ( a rare treat) and I sit back and enjoy the interplay between sibs. Grown-up , moved out kids add even more excitement to the mix. Really, it's different but fun!

[Deb in NZ]

We only have older dc now.  Our holiday traditions have changed a bit over the years as more of our dc entered full-time work.  In NZ most of the country take 3 weeks off for the summer holidays & Christmas is the beginning of this.  The past few years we have focused on sharing a big family dinner, full of favourite foods some of which we only have at Christmas.  The focus on "presents" has shifted to "presence."  I bake over 10 varieties of cookies (a tradition from my culture) & bake a big fruitcake (a tradition from dh's culture)  Ds#2 bakes a pavlova (YUM!!!)  I usually like to decorate the lounge, but this year we're skipping this part due to the fact that our xmas decorations are quite difficult to get out as we are in the middle of major renovations.  I've told our dc that we will share xmas music, foods, etc. & next year I plan to decorate full-out in our newly renovated home.  

 

In the past we've liked to head to the beach on Boxing Day, but this year dd has to be back at work, so the beach trip may be just our boys.

Edited December 20, 2015 by Deb in NZ

[Catwoman]

Haha! I'm looking forward to that.

Don't get your hopes up too high. It hasn't happened here. :)

[Tsuga]

I think some people just really love little ones and that sweet look in their eyes. For them, even though teens may be super into Christmas and happy, it's not as "magical" for the parents. I know my mom is like that. NOTHING replaces a three-year-old for her. Nothing. She still loves me though.

 

So I am assuming that's a big part of it. Our 14 yo and 12 year old aren't into magic per se but they really love Christmas and not just for presents.

[Serenade]

(We are a yell and get over it family!)

 

Just sayin' I like this phrase.  I think it describes my family, too.

[Serenade]

Well, my teens are taking over some of the Christmas duties this year.  My husband and I have been too busy, and we're way behind from various out of town trips.  The teens were getting anxious that there was no tree yet, nor were any cookies made.  So the boys are taking over the cooking-baking.  Yay!  I find it best to depart the kitchen area while they are baking.  :-)  

 

 

[BlsdMama]

I've seen in a few threads now people making the comment that the magic of Christmas or excitement of christmas isn't there so much any more as all their children are older. I'm far from that stage right now but I was wondering if anyone does anything to keep that excitement going or make Christmas special with older ones.

 

I remember as a kid, even once I hit teenagerhood my parents always managed to find me a gift that wasn't what I was expecting, wasn't just practical. Sometimes it was a new hobby to try or some game I'd never heard of or some pretty bits and pieces. I certainly didn't know all my gifts ahead of time, Christmas morning was still very exciting even as a 16 or 17 year old. My husband was much the same. But, thinking back, I'm not really sure HOW my parents did that for us. So, if you manage to pull this off, how do you do it?

 

My kids adore their stockings.  I've found as they get older, they like gifts, but it's exactly what you're saying- the fun, cute, little trinkets they enjoy.  I think it's because it is fun mixed with tradition?  Those two things mixed are good in ALL situations. ;)

[Lady Florida.]

I'm so spoiled. My kids have *always* been night owls. I don't think we've ever opened gifts before 10 or 11...and sometimes I wake them up because I can't wait!

 

Ds was always a night owl, but it didn't matter what time he went to sleep. He'd still be up at the crack of dawn (sometimes before it even cracked) on Christmas morning. In fact even on an everyday basis he would wake up by 6 or 7. Now he's still a night owl, but will sleep in anytime he can.

[ThisIsTheDay]

My older teen and college student have asked to bring back traditions. I admit, we've let several things fall to the wayside over the past few years.  This year, we are baking and decorating Christmas cookies and making it a point to go out and see Christmas lights.  One requested specifically that we find a living nativity, and I'm making it a point to play Christmas music in the house.

[Kareni]

 The focus on "presents" has shifted to "presence." 

 

This sounds lovely!

 

 

My daughter is coming home from South Korea where she's been for some fifteen months.  She's in her twenties now, but she still enjoys the magic of Christmas.

 

 

We open our gifts on Christmas Eve, and then Santa leaves a gift and stocking for my daughter on Christmas morning.  When she was fifteen or sixteen, on Christmas morning my husband and I found a gift from Santa for each of us next to those 'he' left for my daughter.  We were both moved.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Donna]

We bake cookies, decorate the house while listening to Christmas music or watching cheesy Christmas movies, kids have performances at nursing homes and in the city, attend Christmas Eve service at church and have a routine for Christmas Day. Even with all the traditions and spending time together, it is not the same as when they were little and woke us early in the morning before dawn full of excitement. It's different now, not in a bad way (I like getting to sleep…now I wake them up), but I think it is my nostalgia and missing extended family time that makes me sad.

 

My dd loves, loves, loves Christmas. She starts months ahead making crafts to decorate her bedroom and the house, saves money and purchases thoughtful gifts for everyone, and enjoys all our traditions. The boys participate in our traditions when they are not working but also spend some of their Christmas week with their significant others so I don't have them all to myself.

 

I was a little sad this year because the boys were getting things they needed…oldest needed new clutch in his car and middle ds needed a couple pieces of equipment for his recording studio. Keeping within our budget meant only a couple other small stocking stuffers for the boys. Dd had a small list of things so basically got the stuff on her list…she worked out her list to stay within my budget but I just today came up with a great surprise gift idea for her that was worth going a little over budget. 

[skimerinkydo]

My teens were talking in the car  this week about which movie to watch Christmas morning because "you and dad take sooo long to get up". ... Apparently they have started their own tradition. Next year I'll put a new movie under the tree for them to open and watch in the morning.

[magic]

My teens love Christmas and the magic of this time of year.  Every year they get a LEGO and they have so much fun building a little set & displaying it in their rooms all year.  We try to find something fun that they would not expect.  Our 19 year old is getting a pogo stick this year and we think he will love it.  We started something new this year (spur of the moment idea when out of town).  Everyone drew a name, we went to Goodwill and had a $5 spending limit. the object was to find the funniest/creepiest gift you could.  We spend less than $11 on gifts for 6 of us and will not know who drew whose name until Christmas morning.  The kids are so excited and have been talking about how they can't wait for their recipient to open the gift.  Each kid still gets an advent calendar each year and we have a day for decorating cookies.  We try to schedule at least one Christmas movie a week and enjoy playing games together and working on holiday puzzles whenever possible.  Our youngest will be 13 in 3 weeks but all of our kids still act like little kids when it comes to Christmas.

[Hoot]

Our only is a teen and he LOVES Christmas. That child adores everything about the season from the hot chocolate, to baking cookies, wrapping gifts, the special meals, watching our favorite Christmas movies, and, of course, the anticipation of the gifts. And then after the day ends, he looks forward to going home with the grandparents for a week of relaxation.

 

This year will likely be one of the most memorable as he is getting a car. He has absolutely no idea he's getting it either. In fact, until yesterday WE didn't even know we were getting it. I can't wait to see his face.