Ginevra Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I had an idea for a business. Apparently, such a thing exists, but I don't think it is widespread; there may also be state or local laws or licensing involved. It's Professional Listening. It is not meant to be the same as Counseling or Therapy. You would pay an unexceptional fee, about equivalent to having your hair done or a massage, in exchange for 30-60 minutes of unbiased, outside-of-the-issue, sympathetic, confidential listening. You could enjoy regular sessions or once in a blue moon. There would be no medical component, so no insurance coverage. Do you think this is an idea with merit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter's Moon Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Hey, if there's a market for snuggling, there's definitely one for listening. http://thesnugglebuddies.com/index.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Hey, if there's a market for snuggling, there's definitely one for listening. http://thesnugglebuddies.com/index.html Funnily enough, that is exactly how the idea occurred to me. There was a news piece about the cuddling service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Lordy, both of these are a sad testimony on where we are as a society. You need to pay a snuggle buddy or pay for someone to listen? As far as a business idea, it may work as unbelievably sad it seems to me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 It's an interesting idea. I wouldn't pay for such a service...but I'm not much of a talker anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't pay for it (hey, that's what I have a husband, and a priest for, lol!), but I can see how it would appeal to some people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't pay for it (hey, that's what I have a husband, and a priest for, lol!), but I can see how it would appeal to some people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't pay for it, but I am sure there are plenty of people who would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 You asked two questions: 1. Would you be willing to pay for this service? No. I don't need to pay someone to listen to me. I have friends and family who do it for free. 2. Do you think this is an idea with merit? Um ... I guess? If there are people willing to do it, I guess they need it. It just seems kind-of sad and ... I don't know ... like you are taking advantage of people's loneliness? It strikes me as kind-of icky, to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Lordy, both of these are a sad testimony on where we are as a society. You need to pay a snuggle buddy or pay for someone to listen? As far as a business idea, it may work as unbelievably sad it seems to me... I wouldn't pay for that kind of service, but I agree that our society may be in need of such a thing. Families are often spread far and wide... many people have acquaintances but not real friends (how many times have people here mentioned that very problem)... etc. I know that I've lost a lot of the sense of "connectedness" I used to have. For all the technology that's supposed to help us keep in touch (no, I'm not trying to revive the Facebook discussion), I think a lot of people feel cut off and lonely. So, yeah, I can see where that kind of service might be welcome. But as Liz CA said, it's a sad commentary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Lordy, both of these are a sad testimony on where we are as a society. You need to pay a snuggle buddy or pay for someone to listen? As far as a business idea, it may work as unbelievably sad it seems to me... It is sad. I wonder if the social media pendulum will swing the other way at some point? Will we see a rise in community living?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 A massage costs upwards of $50 - no, I personally would not pay this much money to have somebody listen to me. ETA: While the listening idea may sound appealing, I think that people would not JUST want to talk - they'd expect a response and possibly advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Lordy, both of these are a sad testimony on where we are as a society. You need to pay a snuggle buddy or pay for someone to listen? As far as a business idea, it may work as unbelievably sad it seems to me... It is sad. I wonder if the social media pendulum will swing the other way at some point? Will we see a rise in community living?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 My husband would be GREAT at this job. 'Course if they wanted a response, his tip would go down significantly. Lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I like Julie's idea of providing a listening service for the shut ins or nursing homes. Many people feel guilty that they can't visit more and could easily pay for someone else to be there for just a bit to listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't for myself, but... My FIL was in hospital recently. We couldn't go visit him since we were on vacation, and had been exposed to a cold so shouldn't have visited him even if we closer. I thought it would have been nice to just pay someone to go visit him. His memory isn't to good so the visitor could have just said, "oh, I'm so and So and So's friend" and he would have been happy to visit and talk for an hour. Tling about the same things he always talks about. So no issues you would need to listen to or solve. Just nod your head and say, "uh hun, uh hun..." The visitor could bring him a snack, listen to him talk. My SIL (whom he lives with) was ale to be with him every day. But if not your service would have been nice for that circumstance. THAT is an excellent idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I like Julie's idea of providing a listening service for the shut ins or nursing homes. Many people feel guilty that they can't visit more and could easily pay for someone else to be there for just a bit to listen. In the south, it is very common for well-off families to pay a "sitter" to stay with their loved one all day in a nursing home. These folks mostly just sit there and provide a bit of companionship and keep an eye on things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5of5 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 For returning customers, would you keep track of their information and prompt them for updates on the topics they talk about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't rent a friend with cash, but I have been known to bribe them wither and cookies, so maybe it's not that different after all. It would be like going to confession with a priest from a different parish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetandSimple Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't for myself, but... My FIL was in hospital recently. We couldn't go visit him since we were on vacation, and had been exposed to a cold so shouldn't have visited him even if we closer. I thought it would have been nice to just pay someone to go visit him. His memory isn't to good so the visitor could have just said, "oh, I'm so and So and So's friend" and he would have been happy to visit and talk for an hour. Tling about the same things he always talks about. So no issues you would need to listen to or solve. Just nod your head and say, "uh hun, uh hun..." The visitor could bring him a snack, listen to him talk. My SIL (whom he lives with) was ale to be with him every day. But if not your service would have been nice for that circumstance. My bedridden grandfather had another older gentleman who was a paid "friend." He would come to the house once a week and visit with him, and my grandmother would use the time to run errands. That worked out really well for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I like Julie's idea of providing a listening service for the shut ins or nursing homes. Many people feel guilty that they can't visit more and could easily pay for someone else to be there for just a bit to listen. There are those of us who do this for free. Some may be chaplains (who only provide spiritual advice if asked for it) and some are volunteers who just like other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'd be worried about the legality of this unless you billed yourself as something like a life coach. I think the idea of nursing home visitor might be better, that's a sweet idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 There are those of us who do this for free. Some may be chaplains (who only provide spiritual advice if asked for it) and some are volunteers who just like other people. True, but there aren't nearly enough volunteers IMO. My mom & her siblings paid a lady to sit with my Grandma when she was in a nursing home and a member of the family couldn't be there. It would have been too much time to impose on a friend (unpaid). She had friends who came and visited too, but this way they were sure someone was always there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 For returning customers, would you keep track of their information and prompt them for updates on the topics they talk about? I would probably ask if they wanted that or not in the first meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 You asked two questions: 1. Would you be willing to pay for this service? No. I don't need to pay someone to listen to me. I have friends and family who do it for free. 2. Do you think this is an idea with merit? Um ... I guess? If there are people willing to do it, I guess they need it. It just seems kind-of sad and ... I don't know ... like you are taking advantage of people's loneliness? It strikes me as kind-of icky, to be honest. I don't see it that way, though. Oftentimes, I have wished I could talk to someone about a given situation without any potential for it to leak back to people connected to the issue and/or have no dog in the fight. I am not lonely; I have friends I can talk to BUT there have been many cases where I wish I could talk to someone about a particular issue, but it can't be discussed with the available people. Heck, there are people on here often (sometimes it is me) who put up a JAWM post, but how many more people wish they could, but they can't because putting it out in public is a very bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyoustxmama Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I don't see it that way, though. Oftentimes, I have wished I could talk to someone about a given situation without any potential for it to leak back to people connected to the issue and/or have no dog in the fight. I am not lonely; I have friends I can talk to BUT there have been many cases where I wish I could talk to someone about a particular issue, but it can't be discussed with the available people. Heck, there are people on here often (sometimes it is me) who put up a JAWM post, but how many more people wish they could, but they can't because putting it out in public is a very bad idea. Okay, that makes much more sense to me than just asking for pay to hear wretchedly lonely people talk... which tbh I find a depressing and icky concept, both for the service-providing party and for the person who would be in such a state of despair as to pay for such a thing. In that light, yes, I can see there could be a niche market for this service. Sometimes people just need a safe, neutral ear to vent to, for example. This whole thread makes me want to volunteer to spend time with those in nursing homes... :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I wouldn't for myself, but... My FIL was in hospital recently. We couldn't go visit him since we were on vacation, and had been exposed to a cold so shouldn't have visited him even if we closer. I thought it would have been nice to just pay someone to go visit him. His memory isn't to good so the visitor could have just said, "oh, I'm so and So and So's friend" and he would have been happy to visit and talk for an hour. Tling about the same things he always talks about. So no issues you would need to listen to or solve. Just nod your head and say, "uh hun, uh hun..." The visitor could bring him a snack, listen to him talk. My SIL (whom he lives with) was ale to be with him every day. But if not your service would have been nice for that circumstance. In some Scandinavian countries, hospitals used to (may still do) have a person check on people if they needed something. These were not people with medical knowledge but this person would facilitate notifying relatives, updating relatives on patient status and a number of other things, if it was someone without anybody nearby, writing letters (this was prior to computer age) or just sitting and chatting with those who were up for it. I could see this being very useful and needed when someone is hospitalized without family nearby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 This reminds me a little of Lucy in her 5-cent psychiatry booth in the Charlie Brown cartoon. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 This reminds me a little of Lucy in her 5-cent psychiatry booth in the Charlie Brown cartoon. :) I actually thought of that as well. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 For me, no. But I can see how it could be useful for some people. I like the idea of the elderly visitor/listener. How would you break into that though? There are some ideas like this which I think probably do have merit, but then it's like, um, how does someone get their first job doing that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 For me, no. But I can see how it could be useful for some people. I like the idea of the elderly visitor/listener. How would you break into that though? There are some ideas like this which I think probably do have merit, but then it's like, um, how does someone get their first job doing that? I was thinking about that. Perhaps just marketing plus a website. I have a friend who is (not even sure of her actual title, but) an etiquette coach and social poise instructor. Originally, she did small classes at the park and rec. or library. Now, though, she does a lot of advising for people who compete in pageants or have another public role. So I thought I might pick her brain if I were to do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 No, but my violin instructor is a good listener so I'm figuring that at least half of what I'm paying for is listening. LOL He is way less expensive than a shrink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I don't see it that way, though. Oftentimes, I have wished I could talk to someone about a given situation without any potential for it to leak back to people connected to the issue and/or have no dog in the fight. I am not lonely; I have friends I can talk to BUT there have been many cases where I wish I could talk to someone about a particular issue, but it can't be discussed with the available people. I don't know. It still seems odd to me. I think you could get into very sticky situations with this. If you are not a therapist or counselor, are you merely a sounding board that ideas bounce off out loud? Do you just sit silently or respond with non-committal phrases? Are you supposed to give advice? What happens if people follow your advice and there are bad results? Do you need liability or malpractice insurance? How do you avoid getting drawn into other people's problems if you are just a listener and not a trained therapist? What if people start having mental health issues? Are you a mandatory reporter? Can you ethically or legally suggest mental health intervention? What if people confess illegal or potentially harmful things to you? What are your legal responsibilities? Do you want to take on that kind of stress? I was trained as a social worker. The ethics and legalities of something like this could be very convoluted. As soon as you get into a paid situation, everything becomes far more complicated. I don't really think it's a good idea, but that's just me. Feel free to disregard my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I don't know. It still seems odd to me. I think you could get into very sticky situations with this. If you are not a therapist or counselor, are you merely a sounding board that ideas bounce off out loud? Do you just sit silently or respond with non-committal phrases? Are you supposed to give advice? What happens if people follow your advice and there are bad results? Do you need liability or malpractice insurance? How do you avoid getting drawn into other people's problems if you are just a listener and not a trained therapist? What if people start having mental health issues? Are you a mandatory reporter? Can you ethically or legally suggest mental health intervention? What if people confess illegal or potentially harmful things to you? What are your legal responsibilities? Do you want to take on that kind of stress? I was trained as a social worker. The ethics and legalities of something like this could be very convoluted. As soon as you get into a paid situation, everything becomes far more complicated. I don't really think it's a good idea, but that's just me. Feel free to disregard my opinion. I have considered most of the questions you pose, particularly the possibility that someone could confide illegal activity. I did think that would be part of the contract - a statement that I am not granted privilege and cannot/will not keep confidential information where there is harm. I would not give advice, although I can imagine suggesting places to get further help about a problem. So, if someone said, "I have a serious credit card debt problem..." I would not be advising them how to get out of debt, but I might recommend a service/program that could help. I was in counseling after my baby died. There were two things I thought stunk about the set up. One was that I had to go through medical channels to "prove" that I was in a sorry enough condition that I needed a counselor. Two, it was much more expensive (to the insurance company) than it really needed to be. I did not want medication; I didn't really even need advice. I just needed someone who would listen non-judgmentally while I processed the hurt. Someone who I did not fear would tell my mom or my SIL or my neighbor anything I said. If I could have called someone up, arranged to meet at Panera/the park/the mall, paid a relatively minor amount, and then just said whatever I wanted to say for an hour with no fear of fall-out, I would have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 P.S. i thought the Professional Cuddling thing had FAR more potential to go wrong, but apparently, it is viable as a business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I did this when the kids were very little. We would go visit the old age home which are backyard backed up against. Once a week we would go walk the halls, say hi to the people sitting in an area, then go visit a bed ridden women. The advantage of a paid person vs. a volunteer is then you know for sure when the person will visit, who that person will be, how long they will stay, and you can insist on a phone call afterwards for updates. You can also talk to them in advance and ask them to do certain things. This is much more difficult, if not impossible if you are Trying to do this with volunteers. Others have mentioned in home companions. Part of their job description is to be a listener, though they usually are able to do some light cleaning and cooking. In reality. . . (based on getting them for both my parents and my ILs) they are paid little and most did the absolute minimum of what was asked and there was a very high turnover so that you did not often have a chance to get to know them and to get comfortable with them. I've done companion work as part of respite care in the past. I'm not sure this is really the sort of thing that Quill is getting at though, even though there is a lot of sitting with someone and listening to them as part of the job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I've done companion work as part of respite care in the past. I'm not sure this is really the sort of thing that Quill is getting at though, even though there is a lot of sitting with someone and listening to them as part of the job. Exactly. I am not remotely a fan of anything medical and would not be angling for this type of assignment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I think it is sad and tragic that such a thing need exist. I'd be skeptical of the listener's character because if think the listener has a moral obligation to guide the person to get some real relationships! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I would not pay for it. That is what my godparents are for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Well, there are things that I would love to say out loud, but I can't. I can't tell anyone some of the things I think or feel without there being some sort of fall out (hurt feelings or something). But it would feel SO GOOD to just say them out loud. I get what you mean. I wish there was something like that. However, I think that all those legal things that someone mentioned up thread would make this sort of service impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You asked two questions: 1. Would you be willing to pay for this service? No. I don't need to pay someone to listen to me. I have friends and family who do it for free. 2. Do you think this is an idea with merit? Um ... I guess? If there are people willing to do it, I guess they need it. It just seems kind-of sad and ... I don't know ... like you are taking advantage of people's loneliness? It strikes me as kind-of icky, to be honest. It did not strike me as icky or sad. It seems more like an extension of the time honored role of hairdressers and bartenders. A sympathetic ear with no connection to the issues in real life. At one point I was very frustrated with a family member, I vented to a close friend. Afterwards I felt really awkward every time I discussed family with this friend. I only needed someone to hear me, I just wish I had picked someone who didn't know the other party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I just had to share. :) I just received an email from the Continuing Education Dept of the local University. They are offering a 'Transformational Listening" seminar, two day workshop for $995.00. :ohmy: As soon as I saw this I remembered this thread and had to share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendy not in HI Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Along the lines of cuddling, I was thinking that a back scratching business could be a success. Nothin' like a good back-scratch, and those back scratcher tools just don't do the trick... maybe you can talk while you scratch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5of5 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Grin, I thought that is what this board and/or the internet was for. I get on here when I want people to listen to me... THAT works only if you label your post JAWM. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Man, I thought that was what bartenders were for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I wouldn't...honestly, I would just talk to my dog or cat if I needed to unload and no human friend or family was around. LOL. I am also pretty paranoid about confidentiality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I don't see it that way, though. Oftentimes, I have wished I could talk to someone about a given situation without any potential for it to leak back to people connected to the issue and/or have no dog in the fight. I am not lonely; I have friends I can talk to BUT there have been many cases where I wish I could talk to someone about a particular issue, but it can't be discussed with the available people. Heck, there are people on here often (sometimes it is me) who put up a JAWM post, but how many more people wish they could, but they can't because putting it out in public is a very bad idea. That's a good point, but how would you guarantee anonymity and confidentiality? What would happen if your client talked about someone you know? Integrity aside, counseling professionals have some kind of a regulatory body that clients can complain. They have their reputation to protect. So clients would tend to assume that it is safe to open up and that their sensitive information won't end up on FB just for lols. I'm obviously not saying that you would do that, but how would you guaranteed to your clients that you are not going to make their info public? What can you tell them so that they would trust you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 THAT works only if you label your post JAWM. :001_smile: I'm not sure about that. I've changed some of my ways due to initial vents/complaints and reasonable Hive advice, both my threads and others I read. I don't think a JAWM note would have been as worthwhile. IMO, the Hive is a terrific place to vent and gather thoughts/advice. Well, it is as long as one has somewhat of an open mind or lets those thoughts/advice linger in the brain neurons long enough to actually think about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I wouldn't use the service. If I really, really needed to talk, I'd call a crisis line. They are trained listeners, and no crisis is too small. I volunteered at a crisis line center for several years--99.99% of my job was listening. However, I think it is a neat idea, but most here are not good candidates. I think this would appeal to highly paid professionals, with little personal time and who are attracted to a certain allure of this experience. I'd expect they'd want a pretty high end setting, or if there's no "setting" and you think to be meeting over coffee, high-end web site, high end advertising, high end everything. It wouldn't be a Craiglist ad, but an ad at Psychology Today, for example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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