How much would you pay a Day Of wedding coordinator? One who helps your daughter on her wedding day

[momee]

I'm waffling with raising my "official" contract price for Day Of coordination.

 

I usually charge between $750 and $950 for coordinating the rehersal and the wedding day.

Rehersal roughly 2 hours, day of roughly takes 10 hours and this all includes unlimited phone calls and emails as well as 2 face to face meetings.  One of those meetings is the ceremony/reception site visit.  Travel time and an assistant is included in that fee.

 

I'm thinking between $850 and $1150 is more in line with the pricing in our local as well as the demanding/stressful job it actually is.

 

Thoughts?  especially from anyone who has already planned their daughter's wedding already.

 

 

[indigomama]

I personally don't know one person who ever used a wedding coordinator. 

 

Are they popular in your area? What are other coordinators charging?

[AimeeM]

Like the PP, I've never heard of anyone using a wedding coordinator. 

[Mergath]

Is this the same thing as a wedding planner?

[momee]

Wedding planner is one who helps a bride plan all the details, a Day Of coordinator jumps in at the last minute and takes over those jobs so the bride/her family, can enjoy the day without the hassle of being responsible for anything but being bride/family of bride :)

 

A Day Of coordinator organizes the rehersal and manages all the details the bride has planned out for her wedding day.

 

I work with the officiant and all other vendors (photographer, site manager, caterer, etc.) to make sure the bride's wishes are carried out (favors, setting up table settings, food issues, DJ coordination so the names announced are correct, etc.).  This allows the bride (and her mom!) to fully enjoy the day without running around worrying about where the groomsmen are (or aren't) who is walking down the aisle with whom, ensuring parents of bride/groom get their pictures with bride/groom taken, details like that.

 

Otherwise it is craziness for mom/bride.  

 

Really?  Most weddings you all have been to don't have a coordinator?  Most, not all, of the ones I've been to without help have been either late or involved some frantic activity or the cake cutting was at 9 pm after all folks but partiers have gone home, just a few examples I've seen and nowhere near as smooth as those with.

 

[momee]

Typical prices for Day Of services are between $500 and $1500.

I stay the whole time and include an assistant.  I just am curious what everyday/regular WTM folks think is appropriate for such a fee.

 

I will say one of the myths about Day Of coordination is that it is unnecessary.  I can honestly say weddings with/without are very different in my experience FOR THE BRIDE and her mom.  

 

Much! more enjoyable to have me running around like crazy doing a multitude of tasks than for them to be.  It's seriously not easy work.

[Mergath]

I'm sure you do a wonderful job, but I honestly can't imagine spending a thousand dollars for something like that.  

[Chris in VA]

I'm not dissing your job or anything, but we just don't go to weddings that need that sort of coordination, I guess.

It's not crazy at all at the weddings we've been to.

 

IIWY and I wanted to find out "going rates" in my area, I'd just google. (Oh dear, I don't mean to sound rude! I just mean the rate may vary depending on the area.)

[indigomama]

In the weddings I'm familiar with, a family member (like an aunt who isn't otherwise "in" the wedding party) or a church member (if the bride and groom were religious) would help things along. No one was ever paid, and I've been to many, many weddings.

 

I have only ever been to one wedding that seemed disorganized or late, and that was because the bride kept redoing her hair, to get it perfect. No one could have helped her, hahaha! 

 

I would never pay for that service. I still think the best thing would be to check what others charge.

 

[Momling]

I've only been to one wedding with a coordinator. My brother in San Francisco paid $700 and I don't think anyone thought it was really worth it. With mothers and step-mothers and big sisters (me) also taking part, the wedding coordinator mostly stood back and let it all happen. Maybe if things got messy, she'd step in, but really I think we did the day-of work in terms of decisions and decorating and problem solving and directing people where to go, cleaning up, settling bills... The officiant took care of telling people where to stand and what to say. Actually, I'm not sure what the coordinator did?

[DianeW88]

My dd got married last summer, and we had nothing of the sort.  The person at the reception venue who helped us plan everything initially was there to oversee and supervise the entire reception.  I didn't have to do anything other than be a guest.  He was responsible for the staff, the food, the cake cutting, the music, etc., etc.  He was not paid extra to do this.  I've never even heard of the type of job you're describing, and I would expect the wedding planner to be there on the wedding day to make sure everything runs smoothly.  I would not pay a separate person to finish a job belonging to someone else.

[momee]

Gotcha.  I am catching what you're all throwing.

People do pay big for the service, and it is a demanding, stressful gig.  I can see folks not wanting to shell out that type money for something others can help with.  I guess I've just been with brides who don't want to ask relatives to do all that or have the money to pay.

 

Interesting takes, thanks for responding.

 

I could describe my timeline at the last wedding and you'd see all I did but that wouldn't help.  What I really want to know is if you were doing your daughter's wedding yourselves and wanted to take off the planning gloves and put on the mother of the bride gloves, how much would you be comfortable paying for that help.

 

The moms I've worked for say the day was ENTIRELY worth my fee - not that I'm justifying myself at all - just making conversation since we're talking about it.  What it comes down to though, is that my new market is normal, everyday moms who want a glorious wedding for their daughter.  

 

I don't at all! want to overcharge - but the last few I did I honestly wore myself out.  Setting up, vendor coordination, trouble avoidance, in law issues, bartending issues with overindulging, late families who were to set up and have a luncheon by a certain time, issues with the facility and setup rules not being followed, I could go on and on.  After the wedding, all the takedown and gift packing and etc.etc. is included as well.  It's alot.

[Chris in VA]

Again, I don't mean to be rude, but I would not pay $95 an hour for anything wedding-related, except maybe music or photography.

[regentrude]

I have never attended a wedding that required a coordinator or planner, nor would I dream of spending this much money.

 

And no, the weddings were not chaotic or late (even though one even involved the bride's horses brought in as a surprise organized by her friends.)

 

[momee]

Gotcha.  It's about 18 hours total including travel and my assistant works just as hard as I do for the same amount of hours. 

 

Thanks again for the response.

 

[momee]

All your answers were helpful and I think I've got a good handle on your opinions.  Thanks everyone.  

[Mergath]

What it comes down to though, is that my new market is normal, everyday moms who want a glorious wedding for their daughter.  

 

Ah.  There's the problem.  I'm not your target market. ;)  I will be perfectly content for my dd to have a nice wedding surrounded by family and friends.  If she wants a glorious wedding, I hope she marries a rich man or woman.

[TechWife]

At our church, the wedding director is a church employee and her services are included in the fee to use the church. The fee covers the coordinator, the media team (usually two people, three or four if they are making a video depending on the setup), reception set up and break down as well as security. This is a common arrangement for our area. 

 

Weddings in other locations typically have a coordinator employed by the facility as well (country club, art museum, whatever). 

 

When I got married a coon's age ago, the church had nothing of the sort and I asked a friend to be the wedding coordinator and she agreed. I gave her a very nice gift - a getaway night w/her husband at a luxury hotel nearby. It was probably around $250 at the time (21 years ago). 

 

 

ETA: I just checked - the fee to use the church is $600, which is a steal.  So, yes, I think $1,000 is reasonable. 

[Annie G]

We didn't use one when dd got married.  I wouldn't be inclined to pay for a day of service because by that point, everything has been planned and that's the difficult (and yet fun) part. To hire someone to do the rehearsal and the 'day of', we would have had to explain all these details to the coordinator.  Just as easy to handle it ourselves, we figured. 

 

I've never been to a wedding that had a coordinator.  I used to do wedding cakes and I never had to work with a coordinator...just brides and the mother of the bride, and upon delivery, the venue coordinator.   So I guess in my area this service isn't that common.  

 

So for 12 hours of service  (2 for rehearsal and 10 for day of) you get about $65 per hour on average? I would say that's pretty good pay.  If the going rate in your area is higher,  raise your rates.   But you might be polling the wrong crowd here- we teach our own kids so we might not be the first to pay high prices to get us through one day. 

 

 

 

[momee]

Great comments everyone, I appreciate them.

 

 

[Farrar]

I ended up doing this for sil's wedding. I think I posted about it at the time. It was IN-SANE. I wasn't told she needed someone to do this ahead of time. I just fell into it somehow. She came crazy late to the point that everyone was sitting around wondering when the wedding would start and she wasn't even at the venue yet. When I went up to the bridal suite to get her to move along, I had to remove a hot glue gun from her hand. She was frantically trying to make some charm for the first toast which had not gotten finished. I'm totally not making this up.

 

She really could have used a wedding coordinator, I think. A real one. On the other hand, she was broke, so... I get why she didn't have one.

 

Upwards of $500 seems fair, but I admit that I'm not your target either. My boys will one day be marrying partners who aren't as disorganized as sil and need less wrangling. At least, I really, really hope so.

[Beth S]

Wow.  I realize now that I completely under-appreciated the dear friend who does this for each of her close friends' children's weddings.

She even looked me in the face several times and said, "You need to go sit down for a bit."  :)

 

We listed 100 friends who volunteered their time and skills to make our dd's wedding very affordable and special. 

We are indebted to our Day Of Wedding Coordinator.

She corralled each group of the wedding party beforehand, stood guard at the back door, helped the grandparents navigate, and helped the group exit to the church basement for the lunch & receiving line.  She did de-stress us all!

 

ETA:  I agree that the Hive is likely not your target market.  There was no spare $1K in our dd's lean budget for a wedding planner.

[DianeW88]

I suspect this must be a regional thing, so if I were in your shoes, I would call others who provide this service and ask how much they charge.  Then you can market yourself in such a way so that you'll be competitive.  Most of us probably can't respond properly because this is not a service commonly associated with weddings in our area.  But I'm sure in other areas of the country, it's a service that's in demand.

[Carol in Cal.]

I can really see the usefulness of this kind of service.

 

When I was getting married, I remembered a few things that people told me.

 

One was that she and her fiance sat down and made a very long list, quite detailed, of what all was supposed to happen and in what order and by which time, and passed out MANY copies of it to family members.  Then they all kept consulting it, so as not to forget anything.

 

Another was a friend of mine who said, don't spend a lot of money on your wedding.  You will be so busy that you won't enjoy it anyway, and so you won't even have good memories of it.

 

I felt inspired by that last one.  I love going to weddings, and I surely wanted to love mine!  So I set out, very intentionally, to make sure that I had no responsibilities, and clear idea of what order to do things in, so that I could relax and enjoy myself.  And I did.  But having someone move it along for me would have been pretty critical if I hadn't preplanned in so much detail.

 

6 months later my sister got married, and forgot to bring her bouquet to the reception.  That would, ahem, be the other side of that coin.  :)

I don't think it is going to be useful to solicit opinions from the hive, as we are located all over the world, and this seems to be a local thing.  If you are worn out by your work now, will a 10% raise make it all worth while?  Will raising your price cause you to lose (or gain?) gigs?  If you are so busy that you are turning away work, it probably makes sense to raise your rates.

 

My feeling is that homeschoolers in general have a strong "do it yourself" ethos, which probably applies to a lot of aspects of life.  I had no wedding planner or "day of" coordinator, and things went just fine.  Every wedding has minor surprises and gotchas, and if the bride isn't ready to handle them with grace and aplomb, maybe she isn't ready for married life.

[In2why]

I'm sure you do a wonderful job, but I honestly can't imagine spending a thousand dollars for something like that.  

 

 

Me either.  Down here we would call that the Mistress of Ceremonies and it is a position similar to the Matron of Honor.  The person isn't paid, and are usually an older aunt or someone close to the bride.  It is her job to make sure that the Bride isn't bothered with the details and she usually has a list of things the bride gives her in advance of the wedding and the rehearsal.  She also cracks the whip when it comes to timing and like I said she follows the wishes of the bride.  

[goldberry]

I don't think it's a local thing, it's more of a budget thing. 

 

The last wedding I went to my friend was the MoB, and she was literally running around the WHOLE TIME taking care of things.  She did not get to finish one glass of champagne. That is pretty typical of a lot of weddings.  So, it makes perfect sense that if you have enough of a budget, paying someone else to do that is a useful service. 

 

I've been to other weddings where the bride's friends and family served the food, or the drinks, or did this and that, and basically worked the whole time.  They did not really get to enjoy it. 

 

OP, in my area it's closer to $500- $1000. 

[momee]

I know there are many different cultures that are represented here.  I'm getting my answer.  Moms who are homeschooling probably not going to pay for my services (though they would greatly appreciate the help) because they aren't going to be spending upwards of $20,000 or so on a wedding.  

 

Even if I could I wouldn't be spending that kind of money on a wedding so I guess its different stokes for different folks.

 

It is a service and dh was correct when he said to set my fee for what I think my time and service is worth.

 

If I keep prices down, I'll serve more brides in the long run.  

 

I enjoy the trade and enjoy making families happy.  My market is going to stay those families that are spending tens of thousands of dollars on a day so they don't want to be asking Granny to get her corsage and be sure to be in the pictures and get in the receiving line.  They don't want to worry that the seating chart doesn't match the tables.  They don't care that the DJ has the names of the bridal party backwards and announce the last names incorrectly each! time.  

 

They want to be enjoying their guests and know I've got all that covered for them.  But like all things, they'll have to pay for it :)  I could do a sliding scale too, because I'm a sucker for the working man/or bride.

Fun thing to chat about, thanks everyone.

 

[momee]

"The last wedding I went to my friend was the MoB, and she was literally running around the WHOLE TIME taking care of things.  She did not get to finish one glass of champagne. That is pretty typical of a lot of weddings.  So, it makes perfect sense that if you have enough of a budget, paying someone else to do that is a useful service. 

 

I've been to other weddings where the bride's friends and family served the food, or the drinks, or did this and that, and basically worked the whole time.  They did not really get to enjoy it. "

 

 

 

Exactly.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Our photographer was a friend (a professional photographer) who did our pictures as his gift to us.  (We paid for the actual photos).

 

Our pianist was a friend (a professional pianist) who played in the wedding as her gift.

 

Our soloist was a friend (not professional but very good) who sang for us.

 

The flowers were done by a friend as a gift.

 

The reception was catered by MIL and her band of Filipina women.  

 

The pastor was my dad.  (He didn't charge us.)

 

Our Day of Coordinator was the wife of the soloist who did it mainly to manage MIL and keep her out of my hair ;) as her gift.

 

See a trend here?  I really imagine that my daughter's wedding will be similar as that is how it is done in our circles.  

[In2why]

Ah.  There's the problem.  I'm not your target market. ;)  I will be perfectly content for my dd to have a nice wedding surrounded by family and friends.  If she wants a glorious wedding, I hope she marries a rich man or woman.

 

I believe I am her target market and my daughter is having a glorious wedding.  Perhaps it is the geographical area where she lives that this is an occupation.   I know here most of the better venues provide a coordinator as part of their reception package.  That person handles the food, drink, decoration, and entertainment aspect which is where the majority of problems are found.  

 

The Mistress of Ceremonies keeps everything on track at the wedding itself. 

 

OP it sounds like something you do very well, and I wish you luck with this idea.  As other said I think your pricing should reflect the going rate in your area.  You could easily call some of the wedding coordinators in your area and see what they charge or even speak to a few wedding planners and see what they charge by the hour.  I believe your jobs are the same but as you described it you are only involved in the prep and day of events, where as she has the contacts.  

[Mergath]

 

See a trend here?  I really imagine that my daughter's wedding will be similar as that is how it is done in our circles.  

 

:iagree:  Most of the people I know have had small, casual weddings with family and friends helping out, and I don't know anyone who regretted it.  My parents were married on a beach with a handful of friends and family, and the pictures look so much more happy and sincere than those I've seen of the elaborate, staged productions with crews and sets and designers that people have now.  

 

Sorry OP, probably not the opinions you wanted to hear, but I think in a lot of places the trend is toward smaller, simpler weddings that simply don't need a coordinator. 

[TammyinTN]

I had a wedding coordinator 27 years ago....my parents  paid her $500 and our wedding went off splendidly.    Our wedding was recorded and she did a great job with the reception.   It was an awesome day!

[gingersmom]

I know there are many different cultures that are represented here. I'm getting my answer. Moms who are homeschooling probably not going to pay for my services (though they would greatly appreciate the help) because they aren't going to be spending upwards of $20,000 or so on a wedding.

 

.

What does a mothers occupation have to do with how much they spend for a wedding?

 

I homeschooled, spent $75,000 on my wedding and did it all without wedding coordinator or planner.

 

It went as planned and my mother nor anyone else was not running around like crazy.

[momee]

"What does a mothers occupation have to do with how much they spend for a wedding?"

 

Come on, I didn't mean to insinuate anything mean like that.  I just said the women responding here are moms who are homeschooling and are looking to be careful with what they're spending, most of them aren't going to need to spend that kind of money on a superfluous service like mine.  I have tried to word carefully and thankfully every response so as not to cause a stir.  

 

I'm telling you I think it is just dangerous to post here anymore.  

 

I'm so sorry I offended you.  I'm also super happy you had a wonderful wedding.

Thanks for taking the time to give input.

 

 

edited because mom's does not need an apostrophe :)

 

[momee]

and not to stir the pot, but Beth S started it :)

"ETA:  I agree that the Hive is likely not your target market.  There was no spare $1K in our dd's lean budget for a wedding planner."

 

It is fine.  I've gotten what I need.  Thanks everyone for the discussion, it was very helpful.

 

Just for further thought, you can imagine if even talking about wedding stuff (just me and my pricing) gets some people's blood pressure up, imagine, wedding day right before the ceremony IN THE VESTIBULE in plain view of the guests where the groom and his mom are bickering over where the dad and step mom are sitting because the "free" coordinator who came with the site said that is NOT her job :)  

Been there...seen that.

[Farrar]

What does a mothers occupation have to do with how much they spend for a wedding?

 

I homeschooled, spent $75,000 on my wedding and did it all without wedding coordinator or planner.

 

It went as planned and my mother nor anyone else was not running around like crazy.

 

I think homeschoolers as a group tend to be very DIY. Whether we had a $500 budget like my wedding or a many thousands of dollars one like yours means DIY can maybe mean different things in context, but maybe we all are more likely to go planner and coordinator-less.

[Lucy the Valiant]

They're around $1200 in our area.

[momacacia]

Homeschool Moms: DIY and/or controlling.

 

I homeschool because I'm controlling. There. I admit it. If DDs' weddings are anything like mine and DH's were, he (homeschool dad) will have it ALL on an Excel spreadsheet, planned out to the nanosecond, and will be hoping the church ladies (who were at the church to help things go off) just stay out of the way. :lol: Of course, he'll also be on Prozac giving his daughters away, so we might need the church ladies. Otherwise, I will have hovered over every detail of the wedding planning and then just "Let It Go" for the big day. Our daughters will hate us by then and be so glad to leave home. :laugh:

 

Anyhoo...I think it sounds like a fun and fantastic job, especially if you like weddings. And think of the book you could write later after all the wedding drama notes you could take. I'd call the other wedding planners/coordinators in the area and ask what they charge for day of services. That's going to give you the most accurate answer.

[ebrindam]

I know there are many different cultures that are represented here.  I'm getting my answer.  Moms who are homeschooling probably not going to pay for my services (though they would greatly appreciate the help) because they aren't going to be spending upwards of $20,000 or so on a wedding.  

 

Even if I could I wouldn't be spending that kind of money on a wedding so I guess its different stokes for different folks.

 

It is a service and dh was correct when he said to set my fee for what I think my time and service is worth.

 

If I keep prices down, I'll serve more brides in the long run.  

 

I enjoy the trade and enjoy making families happy.  My market is going to stay those families that are spending tens of thousands of dollars on a day so they don't want to be asking Granny to get her corsage and be sure to be in the pictures and get in the receiving line.  They don't want to worry that the seating chart doesn't match the tables.  They don't care that the DJ has the names of the bridal party backwards and announce the last names incorrectly each! time.  

 

They want to be enjoying their guests and know I've got all that covered for them.  But like all things, they'll have to pay for it :)  I could do a sliding scale too, because I'm a sucker for the working man/or bride.

Fun thing to chat about, thanks everyone.

Are most homeschooling families economically disadvantaged? I have never thought so.

[ebrindam]

I would pay for this service for my DD's wedding. I have no idea what the going rate would be. 

[Carol in Cal.]

What does a mothers occupation have to do with how much they spend for a wedding?

 

I homeschooled, spent $75,000 on my wedding and did it all without wedding coordinator or planner.

 

It went as planned and my mother nor anyone else was not running around like crazy.

 

Faints

 

i'm sure it was lovely!

[vonfirmath]

I personally don't know one person who ever used a wedding coordinator. 

 

Are they popular in your area? What are other coordinators charging?

 

Our wedding coordinator was a family friend. If she hadn't volunteered, we would not have had one.

[mom2samlibby]

Isn't that the job of the Maid/Matron of Honor?

No. The MOH's job is to stay with bride and enjoy the day.

[Chris in VA]

Gosh, I can tell I'm not prepared for a wedding in my family! I have no idea what things really cost, for one, and really don't have experience with a wedding that has a ton of details.

 

Just an aside, we (the congregation) recently renovated the parish hall of our church--new drapes, floor, sound panels, chairs and round tables that can go up or down.  We had a lovely, formal dinner there as a fundraiser for outreach, and someone mentioned that we could now start charging for the space for weddings. Dh (the rector) made it quite clear that he doesn't like to see young couples (or families) go into debt for weddings, and so no, our church won't be charging for space rental for the parish hall.

Love that man.

[Word Nerd]

Are most homeschooling families economically disadvantaged? I have never thought so.

Not spending $20K on a wedding doesn't mean you are "economically disadvantaged."

[Muttichen]

My dd is getting married next fall, and $20K is what it costs if you want to serve dinner and have it catered.  The "day of" coordinator is provided by the venue and included in the cost, though, so I can't answer the OP's question.

 

 

[momee]

At $16 - $25 a plate, dinner alone could quickly run you up in budget.  Wedding dresses (I'm sure there are many who found one at Goodwill or Great Aunt Sarah handstitched it, kwim) are upwards of $750 - $5,000.

 

Usually a locale around here that is something other than a church is roughly $2500 - $4000 to rent.  Then you still have dishes, linens, silver, glasses, etc.

 

Last wedding I did the family spent about $10,000.  They had catered dinner with bbq and brisket and sides (not good food but a good caterer by reputation, it was just off that night I guess), the bride did ALL of the work herself, they rented the locale, paid the photographer (who forgot! to include formal pics of the bride with her parents :( - I didn't catch it because they didn't feel they needed to give me the photo list - can you imagine not getting a picture of you and your daughter?), they paid the DJ, had cocktail hour with two drink choices, the brides parents did all the flowers themselves and we all helped setup/breakdown.  The $4000 got them the location.  The manager on duty showed us where the kitchen was and went to her office for the rest of the afternoon.  The groom even built the bar out of barrels!  I mean this wedding was totally DIY, beautiful, but still...$10,000.

You're always taking a chance when you use a vendor who is a friend.  That photographer was super sweet but the pics were - meh - and she forgot, in my opinion a crucial photo!  Cheaper is not always better.

Just sayin'.

(And I waived my fee in exchange for a service the father of the bride offers that is well worth my fee and more.  We're friends...and he has skills!!!!!!)

[lailasmum]

I think as you have a niche service it makes more sense to figure out your costs and then what you want to earn to know what to charge and then track down that market. If you ask people generally they'll likely say something very low which I guess is not what you are aiming for. Wedding co-ordinators/planners are un-common here other than for very pricey weddings. I suspect those bigger budget weddings who know they need help would be your market, not people you have to convince of your value or that your service is necessary. Your job sounds similar to the job I used to do (stage management). You're the manager for the event.

[readwithem]

 

The last wedding I went to my friend was the MoB, and she was literally running around the WHOLE TIME taking care of things.  She did not get to finish one glass of champagne. That is pretty typical of a lot of weddings.  So, it makes perfect sense that if you have enough of a budget, paying someone else to do that is a useful service. 

 

 

Now I have a picture of Steve Martin in "Father of the Bride" - wasn't "Franc" (Martin Short) the wedding coordinator?  And Steve's character still ran around like crazy and missed a lot of the "big moments"