Generalized menopause anxiety thread: ask a question, get an honest answer

[Jaybee]

I didn't really have symptoms (except for night palpitations) until I was about 53, when my cycles started skipping weeks at a time. No heavy bleeding or anything. Bloodwork showed I was postmenopausal, but then I had another few periods. I am now at ten months past my last period (at 54 1/2). A few months past that one, bloodwork was higher into the post range. I have only just started having hot flashes the past couple of months. They are not too bad, but noticeable. The thing I am struggling with most right now is the anxiety and increased night heart palpitations, which feed each other. I didn't even know anxiety was a symptom, but my oh my, I am looking at myself and my over-the-top worries, and thinking, "Really? You have got to be kidding!" I expected grumpiness and hot flashes. I didn't expect the fears, anxieties, and just the general emotional impact of aging that I am suddenly experiencing.

[LLMom]

I am in perimenopause; I actually thought I was close to being done. But 4 weeks ago found out I was pregnant but miscarried last week.  I will be 48 on Tuesday!  Guess I'm not done.   :huh:

[Reefgazer]

I also have no obvious signs and I am almost 52.  My mom didn't either.  Her periods and her life were completely routine until one month she had a period, and the next month she never did.  End of it.  She calls menopause a non-event. 

 

I *think* I might have other signs of menopause in my lethargy and disinterest and lack of motivation in things, but I am really not sure those things are even signs of menopause.  But the other typical things?  No indication whatsoever.

Ok, serious question, please be gentle. I am 51 and I have zero signs of menopause. Nothing. All my friends are done and over and I'm waiting to get a hot flash. Something. My MD says no need for concern until 58! I was hoping to be done with birth control decisions, etc by now. Please, someone tell me their experience with a slow slow down.

 

[Liz CA]

I have to say that I have been feeling better since surgical menopause than I have in a good 5-7 years prior - most likely due to the difficulties I had BUT I also think in large part because this was a wake up call for me in terms of diet and exercise and healthier lifestyle.

If you use this time of life to find what is helping you, be it bio-identical HRT, meditation, standing on your head every morning, running a mile or two, etc., just do it (insert Nike commercial here).

There is more information and also more help available today than likely any other time in history. I would think, there will be even more discoveries years from now. I definitely would not paint this time of life as "down in the pits." I am so energetic, I am getting the next degree and planning the rest of my life out as far as I can see. I was way too tired and lethargic in years past.

 

For those who are feeling great prior to menopause, there is no reason to think life will come to a screeching halt. We may have to  adjust some things and try out what works or doesn't but there is no reason to despair. Sometimes, I think for some women it is a psychological issue as well knowing that their child bearing years are decidedly over now and the are entering a new phase, the next phase...getting older. I think I am getting better!  :)

[kareng]

I am in perimenopause; I actually thought I was close to being done. But 4 weeks ago found out I was pregnant but miscarried last week.  I will be 48 on Tuesday!  Guess I'm not done.   :huh:

 

I'm so sorry about the miscarriage. :grouphug:

[kbutton]

I apologize if this should be a spinoff thread, but I'm wondering if anyone might have insight into early menopause? My cycle is long, but pretty regular, however a lot of the other symptoms discussed above fit me to a tee.

 

(Edited for misspellings)

 

I am 38, and I've had out-of-the blue major adjustments to my cycle twice--once three years ago. Both times, the new normal has been preceded by severe, abrupt, and horrible symptoms, followed by a period of adjustment. Last time, I went all the way back to what had been normal for me for 20 years; this time, I'm waiting to see how it goes. The first time I fit the criteria for perimenopause, it pretty much all went away (at least to a level where the symptoms were recognizable only upon hindsight). We'll see about this time--the hot flashes, etc. have come and gone (always with nausea, and until I knew what they were, some anxiety), but I'm set for "slow burn," as someone else called it, all the time. It's been such a joy.

 

I eat very clean, though not always as balanced as I should. I take quality multi-vitamins (including extra B vites, fish oil, probiotic, etc.). I don't get much exercise, but I've recently found a swim ensemble (I have to wear a soft exercise bra underneath to make it work), and I am using it regularly (assuming the wacky cycles don't derail the whole plan--after my first child was born, swim solutions for my flow aren't really reliable). I can't imagine what I'd feel like if I wasn't already doing fairly healthy stuff!

 

 

[Farrar]

You know what makes me crazy?  They will tell you to tell them if you have XYZ symptom.  You tell them, and they blow it off.  What the heck!?

 

My favorite is when I say I have such and such issue and they say, "No you don't."  Good grief.  Thanks a lot.

[Liz CA]

My favorite is when I say I have such and such issue and they say, "No you don't."  Good grief.  Thanks a lot.

 

Which is partly why I finally chose to see a naturopath. The initial appointment was nearly 2 hours. Whatever you cannot think of, they will ask you and they wait for an answer. At least the two doctors I have seen do that. It's worth a try IMHO.

[Farrar]

Which is partly why I finally chose to see a naturopath. The initial appointment was nearly 2 hours. Whatever you cannot think if, they will ask you and they wait for an answer. At least the two doctors I have seen do that. It's worth a try IMHO.

 

I'm not an alternative medicine person AT ALL, but I'm sort of at this point myself.  I've been thinking of going out of pocket for someone just so I can have a respectful experience.  I once had a doctor imply to me that I was "clearly" promiscuous for some reason I still haven't figured out.  I was so flabbergasted I didn't even reply.  I change doctors, but it never gets much better.  I feel like Elaine from Seinfeld.  I must have a secret note in my chart that says, "treat patient like sh*t."

[SwallowTail]

Doctors routinely dismiss women as either crazy or hysterical, or they are too quick to completely pathologize everything and want to come at you with a scalpel.

 

Anyway, I am in the throes of this myself, and I am not enjoying it.  I am especially freaked out by intimations that TeA will become a thing of the past.  How does that affect  a marriage?  It is a terrible, terrible thing. :(

[Lady Florida.]

When I read about perimenopause and menopause, the books said that periods would become less regular. In my mind, I interpreted that as less frequent and farther apart. Makes sense, right?  After all , you are heading to the point where they stop coming, so it stands to reason that they will gradually get farther apart. Well, I was in for a surprise. :huh:

 

Less regular can also mean more frequent. There have been times they have been two weeks apart. Also there have been times I skip a month. The problem is the unpredictability. Never knowing what to expect. 

 

 

 

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that. I had to carry supplies with me all the time because I never knew when I'd start. Up until then I was very regular. Sometimes I'd get a period twice a month, then skip a month or two. I'd start, stop, and start again in the same week. It was frustrating.

 

Does everyone or nearly everyone really get the heavier periods?  

 

Mine didn't get heavier. Just very irregular as I posted above.

 

I would be really interested if anyone has successfully used anything  non- hormonal for the dryness issue. I have youngish children, so am nervous about taking hormones due to the increased health risks. But the TeA aspect is causing some marital friction - pun intended - and I would really like to find a solution, or at least a help. TMI but the usual local lubricants just don't seem to agree with me.

 

I tried and no, I was not successful. In the end my gynecologist and I discussed hormone treatment. I'm low to practically no risk for breast cancer so I chose estrogen cream (inserted). It's been helpful. 

[DawnM]

I would like to know this as well.

 

I took hormones twice......both times my right side of my body started going numb.  I was told I am at risk for a stroke and not to ever take it again (the second time they said that perhaps the first time was a fluke and to try again.  Nope, I started getting numbness in my entire right side again.)

 

Dawn

 

 

Are there non-hormonal options? I'm at risk for breast cancer.

 

[Lolly]

So, wait.  The desire to never leave my home could be from menopause?  Seriously, in the past 3-4 months there have been times I haven't left our property for weeks at a time.  I got away with it because I sent my 18dd to the grocery store and either I or another kid was too sick to go to church so I stayed home.  I wasn't recognizing it as anxiety, more as a desire to not deal with idiots driving and the like.

 

 

You tickled me. This last year, I have changed from having to leave the house at least once a day to maybe once a week (and only if I HAVE to). We are eating some interesting combinations because I just don't want to go to the grocery store. I really have no anxiety. Just loss of interest in leaving my home. I used to NEED to travel at least once a month. Hilton loved me. Now, I have no desire to go anywhere. I am not anxious. I am not depressed. I have just changed. I'm actually more content than I have ever been in my life. Other odd changes have also come with this change. Let's just say that dh is now one very happy man. 

 

History: always infrequent, extremely heavy when I did. Seemed to hit early perimen. Hot flashes, tempermental...pretty classic. Stopped completely for a year...twice. Thought I was all done... twice. Then, I started back again. Monthly. As regular as clockwork. Super heavy for one day, the rest just light/fairly short. No more hot flashes. No more temper tantrums. No weepiness. Suddenly more interested in dh than ever in our past. No dryness problems. Pretty much the opposite. No complaints here right now! (Other than Auntie Flo...she is annoying.)

[heartosunshine]

The anxiety is why I take hormones. By age 45 I was done-- no period for well over a year.....but the anxiety was unreal. Unfortunately it coincided with a horrific divorce and much of the divorce crap was mixed in with the menopause. MyDr. Prescribed an AD during my divorce.....after 3 months I came off of it and discovered the anxiety returned. So he tested my hormone levels and yep.....I was done. He prescribed low dose hormone and I am fine with even half dose.

 

My anxiety was a distinct physical manifestation...it was as if bugs were crawling up my head.

Yes, I've been having that creepy crawly anxiety lately & can't really pinpoint why. I have other meno symptoms so I bet that's it.

[TranquilMind]

Is there any reason an ablation would be a bad idea??

I'm not the person to ask.  I know nothing about them and am a staunch anti-interventionist when it comes to the body, except for life-saving circumstances (antibiotics for infection, removal of burst organs, repairs after an accident, etc). 

 

Otherwise, I leave it alone.  It knows what to do to heal itself, for the most part if we don't damage it further with horrible chemical foods, too many drugs, etc.   Supplements and drastic diet changes would always be my first resort before pharmaceuticals. 

 

So, I'm an outlier, not a mainstream medical person. 

[TranquilMind]

How old? I read the average age is 52. LOL....I wondering how long this could go on and still be sorta normal. I'm 51, BTW, and I'm joyfully having a longer time between periods at the moment. This is after bleeding for over 3 weeks straight on vacation. Oh joy.

Years older than that!  But as I said, I'm an outlier in many things.  You may stop right at 52 or before. 

 

Yes, my body decided to do the huge superdump of a period - first in months - during the only surgery I had as an adult.  That was fun, trying to clean all that up for 9 days, while barely being able to move or bend. 

[PrincessMommy]

For me, it was life in general.  It was almost like a "mid-life" crisis, but just anxiety over everything!

 

I think that's the case with me too.  I think there's menopause stuff happening which makes the life stuff seem way, way worse.    It's also true that as people age they don't deal with anxiety as well as they did when they were younger.   So it isn't just women of a certain age either.

[PrincessMommy]

Please help me process... fuzzy brain + insomnia + anxiety = zero processing abilities.

 

How often/when do you take L-theanine? 

 

Does it make you sleepy?  Awake??

 

How often do you use the Yam cream?  Just when needed, daily, when your period starts??

 

Thanks

 

[freesia]

Please help me process... fuzzy brain + insomnia + anxiety = zero processing abilities.

 

How often/when do you take L-theanine? 

 

Does it make you sleepy?  Awake??

 

How often do you use the Yam cream?  Just when needed, daily, when your period starts??

 

Thanks

I take L-Theanine 100 mg a day. I usually take it in the morning and, in fact, I've read that it makes you more alert when taken with coffee. Which I do and I'm pretty alert. I can actually feel my stress level lowering withing 30 minutes of taking it. It takes the edge off--kind of like when you have a glass of wine--but it doesn't have any of the other effects of alcohol (no sleepiness, trouble with coordination or concentration, etc) It's not addictive. It just makes you feel like a calmer version of yourself.

 

Recently a few days before my period starts I start taking another 100 mg at night. I had started (during that period) waking at 4:00 am and not being able to fall back asleep. This doesn't happen if I take the L-Theanine at night. The extra dose also helps with the extra anxiety I have pre-menstrually.

[Onceuponatime]

So, I looked up L-theanine and find that it is a component of green tea and according to Wikipedia, even the lower doses in just drinking green tea could have an effect of reducing stress symptoms in the brain. It's worth a try.

 

Here is the medical report referenced: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18296328

[freesia]

So, I looked up L-theanine and find that it is a component of green tea and according to Wikipedia, even the lower doses in just drinking green tea could have an effect of reducing stress symptoms in the brain. It's worth a try.

 

Here is the medical report referenced: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18296328

Yes, and it's in black tea, as well.

 

You know how the cure for stess in England is to offer a cup of tea? Looks like it's not just a placebo.

[Guest]

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'm only at the bottom of page 1 so far, but please, please keep 'em coming (unless you decide to ban me from the board instead, because I am SO with you on nobody likes me, everybody hates me and need to make some worms for breakfast) and debunk/flame me for posting this while I read page 2:

http://johnrobbins.info/blog/what-about-soy/

 

ETA: also this:

http://www.cancernet.co.uk/phytoestrogens.htm#Managing%20the%20menopause%20with%20Phytos

 

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV or even own a TV or even not want to smash TVs I encounter, but this was kind of my own take on soy until I got sick and tired of hearing how WORRIED people were over me and had I ever heard of Weston A. Price?

I had an odd childhood that involved a lot of soy. The damage may already be done and the thought of locking myself in my house, binging on my childhood comfort foods, and emerging a human being in a few months is very appealing to me.

Onceuponatime, my mother and grandmother also had cancer, which is why I was avoiding the soy in the first place. My grandmother did not breastfeed. My mother weaned my sister at "about a year" and me at either "eighteen months" when she was encouraging me to keep going with my first or "nine months" when she thought it was ridiculous that I was nursing toddlers.

I am wondering if their experience is even relevant to my own after over 7 years of breastfeeding (no, not just one child) but convincing a doctor is another story.

 

I am not on HRT as I push the keys on this keyboard, but I would like to be and you would like me to be, and trust me, I have already done every earth mama crunchy thing you have ever laughed at as "taking things a bit too far" so please don't judge others or yourselves too harshly for heading to the doctor instead of the health food store.

 

I don't know if this is what my 22 year old manchild has read, but he sure acts like it is:

 

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,2458.0.html

 

and you might want to print it out for you partners, but then what do I know about marriage and long term romantic relationships. ;)

 

I never had heavier periods.

 

Nor did I. They're sort of fizzling out. I went through one three month stretch of "phantom periods" in '11 where the PMS showed up right on time but the best Aunt Flo could manage was a little spot on my undies that came right out with a bit of peroxide.

They disappear for three months at a time and then come back. Sometimes I get three months worth of PMS all at once. I stopped keeping track because all the false alarms were just depressing. My cute little 40 year old friend wants to throw me a croning party when it's been a year, but she's too adorably immature to understand that is so not the point.

 

 

[Guest]

 

 

Stupid doctors.

 

I needed bifocals because I couldn't see to thread a needle and my Etsy store was my main source of income at the time. It was also getting hard to read the ingredients on packaged foods at the supermarket and I was getting some eye strain when I read for more than a few hours.

 

My eye doctor snorted, "Well, you'll never do THAT again! You can find out if Walmart is hiring greeters, but nobody will ever hire somebody like you for a job that involves reading, so just put the books out with the rest of the trash. You'll never get any money for them. Next, please! MISS FLINT YOUR APPOINTMENT IS OVER!!!!! You can't do anything about getting older, but you can make up your mind not to complain about it because NOBODY likes old women who complain about every little hangnail. Next, please! Miss Flint, you give your check to the receptionist at the desk and don't call us, we'll call you when it's time for your next appointment. Next, please! MISS FLINT---the door is right there and if you don't use it we will have to call the police."

 

I was ten years older than my dad was when he had to have bifocals because he couldn't see his slide rule any more.

 

I chose to go without glasses (I wear -6.50 which means I can see my feet but not my toes au natural) except for when I had to drive and lived that way for two years until Dr. Hive and 123cheapglasses dot com rescued me from THAT hell.

 

I am not a fan of doctors. I don't question anyone's positive experience with doctors and I am happy for you, but this is not and will not be my experience as a single woman living on a small income in a rural area.

 

ETA: when I went to the doctor for my heart palpitations, HRT was not mentioned, nor did she think it was worth the trouble of pulling out her stethoscope to even listen to my heart. I was offered a prescription for prozac and two tranquilizers with the advice to go ahead and apply for disability now because I might not be able to keep my part time job. I said thanks but no thanks. I haven't dropped dead yet, but it was very disconcerting since I was on the night shift caring for a quadriplegic who literally couldn't sit up in bed by herself or reach the TV remote and the thought of her being abandoned in a house with a corpse until the morning person came did not do anything helpful for my anxiety.

 

 

Y Other odd changes have also come with this change. Let's just say that dh is now one very happy man. 

 

 

 

I had this too. It was not fun for me. I would probably consider ending my life if it had not finally gone away.

 

 

I apologize if this should be a spinoff thread, but I'm wondering if anyone might have insight into early menopause? My cycle is long, but pretty regular, however a lot of the other symptoms discussed above fit me to a tee.

 

(Edited for misspellings)

 

 

No need; I wanted to create a huge thread that could be zombified for our daughters, but of course I don't own this site or pay the $2,000 a month SWB does to keep it online. ;)

 

In retrospect, I think I started at 35, but chalked it up to minor mental illness that my insurance wouldn't cover or the world going crazy after 9/11.

 

There have been lots of plateaus and "new normals" over the past 15 years and I even managed to conceive a child at the age of 42.

 

If he, and the alternative medicine stuff I did to conceive him, are the reasons why I am having so much trouble then no regrets, but euthanasia would have been on my radar at times if it were a legal and socially acceptable option.

 

One thing you mighty want to think about, and that I would mention to my dd2 if she were your age, is that HRT might slow the progression of periodontal disease. I only have five upper teeth. You or she might choose to start HRT a little bit earlier than you think you need to if avoiding this is something that is important to you.

 

The worst of what I have experienced (so far) is still something that this lady:

 

http://menopausesupport.proboards.com/thread/476/menopause-disowning

 

would have considered blessed relief before she started HRT.

 

hth

 

[PrincessMommy]

I take L-Theanine 100 mg a day. I usually take it in the morning and, in fact, I've read that it makes you more alert when taken with coffee. Which I do and I'm pretty alert. I can actually feel my stress level lowering withing 30 minutes of taking it. It takes the edge off--kind of like when you have a glass of wine--but it doesn't have any of the other effects of alcohol (no sleepiness, trouble with coordination or concentration, etc) It's not addictive. It just makes you feel like a calmer version of yourself.

 

Recently a few days before my period starts I start taking another 100 mg at night. I had started (during that period) waking at 4:00 am and not being able to fall back asleep. This doesn't happen if I take the L-Theanine at night. The extra dose also helps with the extra anxiety I have pre-menstrually.

 

Okay, how does L-Theanine both make you more alert and focused but also aid in sleep?  :confused1:  

 

I have trouble sleeping... I cannot take caffeine after about 2pm.  I'm sleepy, but my body will not settle down and my restless leg goes into overdrive - even though I still take my magnesium and valerian/hops/evening primrose combo before bed. 

 

Also...has anyone used the progesterone cream you can buy in the store - like from Pro-Gest?

[kewb]

Is there any reason an ablation would be a bad idea??

I had one a couple of years ago. One of the best decision I ever made.

[freesia]

Okay, how does L-Theanine both make you more alert and focused but also aid in sleep?  :confused1:  

 

I have trouble sleeping... I cannot take caffeine after about 2pm.  I'm sleepy, but my body will not settle down and my restless leg goes into overdrive - even though I still take my magnesium and valerian/hops/evening primrose combo before bed. 

 

Also...has anyone used the progesterone cream you can buy in the store - like from Pro-Gest?

It is suppose to make you more alert when taken with caffeine.

 

The way it aids sleep is by calming anxiety. Falling asleep and staying asleep are more difficult when you are anxious--even if you are only anxious about not falling asleep. I don't see it as a sleep aid, more as a not stay awake if you wake up aid.

[tori@thehomefront]

Just wanted to say thank you to all you ladies! This thread has been so informative. You all rock!

[PrincessMommy]

I was told to use the yam cream each evening, taking a week off during period (whether a period came or not).

 

Okay, it sounds similar to the progesterone cream I was looking at at WH.    Where do you get Yam cream?

 

Thanks!

[Guest]

Another quick PSA:

 

Because of our society's conspiracy of silence, most of us don't think we are hitting perimenopause when we hit perimenopause. The early symptoms might feel like mental illness, but it is NORMAL to think that you have some rare, fatal disease, and to want to hire a specialist (and it doesn't make one bit of difference whether your idea of a specialist is an endrocrinolgist at a leading teaching hospital or a voodoo witch doctor or an ad in your spam folder) and spend every dime of our children's inheritance and our retirement funds if that's what it takes to get to the root of the problem and save our lives before it is too late!

 

"Health anxiety" may be a much kinder term to see in a long list of symptoms than "hypochondria", but it is very real; we are extremely vulnerable to quacks and charlatans, and that is no laughing matter.

 

Edited because of the unfortunate proximity to the Yam cream posts: Yam cream is real progesterone and will really help you, but not everything on the shelves at the health food store may be as effective.

[Melissa in Australia]

I am in pre-menopause. Or so I was told when I had my second mammogram in 8 months. Apparently my breast tissue is breaking down rapidly, and the lumps I am finding are a few remnants of firmer breast tissue.

I am also having night sweats, dizziness and heart palpitations. I was not connecting them all together until reading this thread. I am also experiencing great bitterness at lots of things in life (is this a symptom? I really hope I pass through this aspect) . I also  have Very, very heavy periods and can go through a pack of 30 tampons in a 2 hour period making me feel very lightheaded and sick ( practically do not get out of the bathroom) the good thing is that it is only heavy for those 2 hours and  the duration is only 2 days TOTAL. The Gyno told me last week that the reason for the heavy flow for the 2 hours is because I have several small fibroids ( Apparently he can feel them?)  I just found out I have moderate anemia (hemoglobin level 10, no wonder I am tired!).

 

The real thing that is bugging me is a mysterious lump I have in my right groin. It appears to me that it is getting larger, but that could just be my imagination. I have had an ultrasound and it was inconclusive. It is not in my gland but rather right alongside it. Nobody seems to know what it is, neither the GP, or the Radiologist, or the Gynecologist. I am having a CT scan and seeing a surgeon next. The lump measured at 33 mm long on the ultrasound and can clearly be felt just above my pubic bone.It is hard and feels like an oval shaped marble. it is very irritating especially if I am doing physical activity.

 

 

 

[Guest smoller]

I'm 50 and literally having a hot flash as I write this :) I need to go to bed, but I also need to come back and read this entire thread. The few posts I've read have me nodding me head going "yes, yes." As for me, I think I'm 90% arrived at menopause. Not much anxiety (except a dash of the hypochondria) but I'm feeling all dried out and am suddenly thick around the middle. Sigh.

[Serenade]

Years older than that!  But as I said, I'm an outlier in many things.  You may stop right at 52 or before. 

 

Yes, my body decided to do the huge superdump of a period - first in months - during the only surgery I had as an adult.  That was fun, trying to clean all that up for 9 days, while barely being able to move or bend.

Sounds awful. I had a superdump while camping in the Grand Canyon with no hookups. It was a huge shock. My period was ending, like, I was down to a mini pad and really didn't need it. I awoke in the middle of the night in a blood bath. Awful, awful, awful. And so shocking! I cried. I was in a camper with all males, and thank goodness that they all slept through my middle-of-the-night clean-up project. Thankfully, the flow was only terrible for about 12 hours, but then I continued to bleed lightly for another two weeks. Ugh. I could do without this unpredictability. Now I'm on day 37 of a cycle, with no bleeding for over 3 weeks, which is a long time for me. May the blood-free days go on for weeks and weeks. LOL.

[Guest]

Hello, hot flashes.

 

Cheer up, Ethel; at least you don't have to call the landlord about the broken heater or pay a horrific gas bill.

 

ds2 asked me why I was sweating. I told him it was my new hobby and that now that he's older and can do more things by himself, it's time for me to have a few interests of my own.

[PrincessMommy]

Sounds awful. I had a superdump while camping in the Grand Canyon with no hookups. It was a huge shock. My period was ending, like, I was down to a mini pad and really didn't need it. I awoke in the middle of the night in a blood bath. Awful, awful, awful. And so shocking! I cried. I was in a camper with all males, and thank goodness that they all slept through my middle-of-the-night clean-up project. Thankfully, the flow was only terrible for about 12 hours, but then I continued to bleed lightly for another two weeks. Ugh. I could do without this unpredictability. Now I'm on day 37 of a cycle, with no bleeding for over 3 weeks, which is a long time for me. May the blood-free days go on for weeks and weeks. LOL.

 

oh dear!! Please don't tell me this... I'm planning a backbacking trip with a girlfriend later this summer.  I keep thinking this will happen while we're out there in the woods.   Yes, the unpredictability is very frustrating.

[Chris in VA]

Thank you for this thread. I'm 51 and just this year, periods are slowing down and becoming more infrequent. I had a 2 month long one in Israel--and lots of anxiety there. I never connected that to meno, so thanks for helping me realize some things.

I'm sorry you've had it so hard, IEF!

[Serenade]

oh dear!! Please don't tell me this... I'm planning a backbacking trip with a girlfriend later this summer.  I keep thinking this will happen while we're out there in the woods.   Yes, the unpredictability is very frustrating.

It was one of my worst fears, and then it happened. I've had something like that happen once before, about 3 years ago, when my cycle first started getting weird. Same thing -- a hugely heavy flow right when my period was supposedly ending, followed by lesser flow for several weeks. On the bright side I've having one of those longer times between cycles now, and I'm really hoping it breaks records for me. LOL.

 

Oh, I do have fibroids, so that may have been a contributing factor, although normally I do not have the heavy flow associated with fibroids that many have.

[flyingiguana]

I've had to give up caffeine.

 

I know that's not something anyone wants to hear, but it really helped.  Once I was off it for awhile, I didn't really notice the lack.  Problem was that "awhile" period of time.

 

The one thing it did not help with was the heavy and surprising flow -- and it always hits when you least need it.  On a cross country train with toilet paper running out...  In the swimming pool...

 

However, I'm here to report that one can survive these things.

[StaceyinLA]

Okay, well if I am done with menopause (at 46, but I had a hysterectomy - ovaries intact but they say it can still cause earlier menopause), will the stuff for anxiety still work?

 

And yes on the dryness and lack of desire. Omg. Testerone shots have helped with desire, but I don't want to keep that up because they make me almost sex-obsessed for about a week after each shot - it isn't pretty. Tmi I know - sorry.

[Susan in TN]

It just makes you feel like a calmer version of yourself.

 

.

I SO need this, especially in the morning when we are in the throes of homeschooling.

[Cascadia]

Thank you all for contributing to this thread.  Reading it has helped me to understand some things that are happening for me now, and I also now feel more forewarned about what is to come.  I thought that I was just waiting around for the hot flashes and irregular of periods to start!  I've also resolved to start writing down my female health history for my DD so that she is forewarned as well.

 

For those of you who have read the Susun Weed book referenced upthread, how much practical information is in the book?  I'm looking at the preview on Amazon and I'm seeing a lot of narrative-type writing that doesn't seem particularly helpful *for me*.  I am interested in alternative/natural remedies, so is it worth wading through or skipping over the narrative to get to the "how-to" parts of the text?

[TranquilMind]

Sounds awful. I had a superdump while camping in the Grand Canyon with no hookups. It was a huge shock. My period was ending, like, I was down to a mini pad and really didn't need it. I awoke in the middle of the night in a blood bath. Awful, awful, awful. And so shocking! I cried. I was in a camper with all males, and thank goodness that they all slept through my middle-of-the-night clean-up project. Thankfully, the flow was only terrible for about 12 hours, but then I continued to bleed lightly for another two weeks. Ugh. I could do without this unpredictability. Now I'm on day 37 of a cycle, with no bleeding for over 3 weeks, which is a long time for me. May the blood-free days go on for weeks and weeks. LOL.

Oh my goodness.  I can so relate on the period...but not while camping!  That must be AWFUL. 

 

Sounds like they might be starting to spread out.  The end is in sight (assuming you are the appropriate age!). 

[TranquilMind]

Thank you all for contributing to this thread.  Reading it has helped me to understand some things that are happening for me now, and I also now feel more forewarned about what is to come.  I thought that I was just waiting around for the hot flashes and irregular of periods to start!  I've also resolved to start writing down my female health history for my DD so that she is forewarned as well.

 

For those of you who have read the Susun Weed book referenced upthread, how much practical information is in the book?  I'm looking at the preview on Amazon and I'm seeing a lot of narrative-type writing that doesn't seem particularly helpful *for me*.  I am interested in alternative/natural remedies, so is it worth wading through or skipping over the narrative to get to the "how-to" parts of the text?

Hot flashes are no big deal.  You just stand up and throw off a jacket or robe or whatever you are wearing, asking, "WHY is it so darn HOT in here?"   Rinse and repeat until you finally figure out that you ARE the heat source.  This went on for a year or so and now they are minor fluctuations.  Robe on, robe off, robe on again, when home.  Only a couple times a week. 

 

I never used anything.  Make sure your thyroid is functional though, if you want to live your life upright instead of sleeping.  Assuming that, you will be fine. 

[Guest]

 Omg. Testerone shots have helped with desire, but I don't want to keep that up because they make me almost sex-obsessed for about a week after each shot - it isn't pretty. Tmi I know - sorry.

 

My testosterone dominance wasn't medically induced, just my body malfunctioning, and it was horrid! I can't imagine loving somebody enough to go through that again. You are a saint, ma'am, and I hope your DH appreciates you.

 

I had this whole beautiful story ready for ds explaining the difference between romantic and altruistic love and why he should be so proud of his dad and of being conceived asexually, but then I had to muck it all up by jumping the guy's bones during one of his visits.

 

It's kind of funny that I keep bumping up against posts I made less than a week ago saying I'd never had a hot flash and now I'm incorporating them into my life and making jokes about them. I'll take this over testosterone dominance any day. They seem to have brought my sense of humour back and I feel like the last eleven year old in the clique to get her period.

 

See? I'm growing up too! Can I be one of the cool kids now?

 

I thought it was global warming or dd's old bathrobe being inappropriate for the weather or one of the kids messing with the thermostat or maybe I had moved to Arizona in my sleep. I'm glad it's just me!

[DesertBlossom]

I'm only 34, however, this has been on my mind because my mom recently died from breast cancer, which I am convinced was caused by years of HRT. I wonder and worry about what that means for me and how I'm going to get through menopause "naturally." For now, I'm also wary of hormonal birth control. Also, IUDs scare me. So one of my biggest fears is ending up like my grandmother and having my last baby at 49 years old!!  DH read about possible side effects of a vasectomy and nixed that one.  So, part of me would love for my reproductive organs to close up shop naturally here in a few years once we decide our family is complete, instead of spending another decade (or more!) still trying not to get pregnant! In other words, I kind of hope it happens sooner than later.

[Guest]

I had this whole beautiful story ready for ds explaining the difference between romantic and altruistic love and why he should be so proud of his dad and of being conceived asexually, but then I had to muck it all up by jumping the guy's bones during one of his visits.

 

OMG! That is the MOST hilarious line I think I have ever read!

 

This is such an awesome and very necessary thread.

 

I had no idea that don't-want-to-go-anywhere can be hormonally related. I feel like I can hardly bear the thought of driving somewhere half the time. At the same time, I want to go on a trip all the time and I want to move somewhere different!

[amyco]

I'm only 34, however, this has been on my mind because my mom recently died from breast cancer, which I am convinced was caused by years of HRT.

 

I am very sorry about your mom. 

 

My mom died from uterine cancer when she was 53...and I know she got it from taking unopposed estrogen in menopause.  She was convinced of it, too.  She had unexplained bleeding.  Sheesh, I don't even know if she had made it all the way through menopause before she got it.  So I agree, navigating menopause is going to be tricky.  I am not there yet, but I am glad to see what's happening is normal!  As in, I hit 40 and suddenly need to buy stock in Kotex. 

 

I wasn't aware of anxiety coming with it, though...I'm going to have to track it.  That's good to know.

 

I'm glad for this thread; I don't have any more female relatives to talk to about this, but it's nice to know I am not alone!

[VeteranMom]

I'm currently suffering due to the treatment offered to me for peri-menopause.  The bio-identical hormones are great (for most), but testosterone should not be given to someone who has PCOS.  I was puzzled by my 40 pound weight gain over the past 2 years- the amount of time since beginning bio-identicals.  Now, I have insulin resistance and have pre-diabetes.  Getting old isn't fun and things certainly have gotten complicated since I turned 40.     

[Guest]

OMG! That is the MOST hilarious line I think I have ever read!

 

This is such an awesome and very necessary thread.

 

I had no idea that don't-want-to-go-anywhere can be hormonally related. I feel like I can hardly bear the thought of driving somewhere half the time. At the same time, I want to go on a trip all the time and I want to move somewhere different!

 

I'm going to pass along the best bit of advice I received when I was in my early forties: start planning and saving for your Crone's Time Away as early as possible. Not just money, but vacation days, paid sick days, paying it forward so you can ask for favours when you need them, anything at all that would make getting up and going to work in the morning less of an issue.

 

Show this thread to your dh and older kids if you're uncomfortable explaining to them why you aren't planning on taking them along when you go on the vacation of a lifetime. Don't put down any deposits, but start picking up brochures and posters from the travel agency and talking about it, so your friends know that you're looking forward to travelling the world and staying in nice hotels to celebrate your transition from mother to crone and that you intend on embracing the changes instead of fighting them with botox and hair colouring. They'll think you're so cool!

 

That way you'll have enough cash on hand to close the door and pay the extra for postage and handling and a believable story so your friends and adult kids won't worry about you and you won't have to worry that every knock on the door will be those men in their clean white coats with their butterfly nets when it's really just the UPS man again!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0rgeQ0QD-o <-----I tried to embed this, I really tried, just trust me, it's worth clicking on.

 

In retrospect, my mother isn't the most honest person in the world and her actions speak louder than her words. She had a horrible time and she's so ashamed of it. I'll never know whether she finally broke down and took something or not, but it looks like I've just got some bad genes and I'm not going to feel sorry for myself but neither am I going to share some of the analogies about birth that I find comforting because they would probably be HORRIBLY offensive to anyone who had ever had a hospital birth.

 

But yea, I'll dredge this thread back up when I finally manage to get a prescription (or a reliable shady character in a back alley, lol) or stop wanting one. ;)

 

 

[tori@thehomefront]

I'm currently suffering due to the treatment offered to me for peri-menopause. The bio-identical hormones are great (for most), but testosterone should not be given to someone who has PCOS. I was puzzled by my 40 pound weight gain over the past 2 years- the amount of time since beginning bio-identicals. Now, I have insulin resistance and have pre-diabetes. Getting old isn't fun and things certainly have gotten complicated since I turned 40.

See, this is the kind of info that so desperately needs to be shared! I have friends and family IRL, but we don't talk about this stuff. :)

[Angie in VA]

Regarding hot flashes, I have this PSA:

 

"You can get warmer! Put on a blanket or a sweater. I can NOT get cooler! So, yes, the AC has to be turned to such a low temp and YES, the fan needs to be on!"

 

That is all.