Ask a formerly obese person.

[Slache]

I've lost about 80 pounds and still have about 30 to go. I've had injuries and plateaus, but I'm not "on a diet" per se, just trying to eat healthy. I've done this with an undiagnosed health problem that causes me to sleep 10-14 hours a day, so it's taken me 3 years including 9 months of pregnancy and 9 months of postpartum depression.

[joannqn]

Congratulations!

What would you say has been your biggest obstacle, and how did you overcome it?

Do you find people (strangers) treat you differently than they did 80 pounds ago?

[Slache]

Congratulations! Thanks  :lol: 

 

What would you say has been your biggest obstacle, and how did you overcome it? A lack of progress. When it takes 3 months to lose 5 pounds or you're gaining muscle weight it's so discouraging that you just want to give up. My VERY supportive husband has gotten me through the hard times.

 

Do you find people (strangers) treat you differently than they did 80 pounds ago? Yes. Definitely. They show me more respect and assume that I'm more intelligent.

 

[VeganCupcake]

Do you get frustrated by people who complain about their weight and attendant health problems and seem to do nothing about it? (Meaning, people you're close enough to to know that their eating habits are terrible, for instance?)

[Guest]

First of all, congratulations on such a difficult accomplishment and I am so sorry that people were disrespectful and condescending to you for no good reason.

 

What are some hurtful things people said when you were obese without realizing how hurtful they were?

 

Would you consider it tactless if an average sized woman complained in a joking manner about the 10lbs she wanted to use while in your presence?

 

How would you want me to respond to my small child's innocent but tactless comments in public, i.e., "That lady is really fat!" "Why is that lady so fat?" etc.

[Slache]

Do you get frustrated by people who complain about their weight and attendant health problems and seem to do nothing about it? (Meaning, people you're close enough to to know that their eating habits are terrible, for instance?)

Only if they do it all. the. time. "I can't lose weight." and "I don't have the time." are two big ones. Yes you can and yes you do, you just won't.

 

First of all, congratulations on such a difficult accomplishment and I am so sorry that people were disrespectful and condescending to you for no good reason.

 

What are some hurtful things people said when you were obese without realizing how hurtful they were? It's not what people say but the way they speak to you. Athletic people in particular would speak condescendingly to me.

 

Would you consider it tactless if an average sized woman complained in a joking manner about the 10lbs she wanted to use while in your presence? No, but I'm sure others would. People get weird about things like that.

 

How would you want me to respond to my small child's innocent but tactless comments in public, i.e., "That lady is really fat!" "Why is that lady so fat?" etc. Ha! I've been there. I just corrected my kid in that that isn't a polite thing to say. It's not your child's fault that someone else is fat, so don't be embarrassed.

 

[Slache]

What foods do you eat? What changes have you made?

 

I stopped eating and drinking the things that I personally have a problem with. Slurpees, soda, juice, candy bars, and gummies. Not religiously though. If my husband brings a pizza home and I want a coke with it I have a coke. 

 

We don't keep soda in the house because I have the will power of a 5 year old. I bought a water bottle and my water intake has increased dramatically.

 

I've gone low carb and low dairy, but that was a permanent life decision, not a diet plan.

 

I snack on veggies too. It increases your vegetable intake and decreases your garbage intake.

[Rachel]

Congratulations! That's a big accomplishment.

 

Was this your first attempt at losing weight?

 

How do you stay motivated when it takes 3 months to lose 5 pounds?

[Chris in VA]

Can you give us (if you have time) a typical day of food for you? Or 3 typical breakfasts, etc.?

 

What is your hardest meal to make low carb?

 

 

[Slache]

Congratulations! That's a big accomplishment.

 

Was this your first attempt at losing weight?

 

How do you stay motivated when it takes 3 months to lose 5 pounds?

I lost about 10 pounds before I got married, but who didn't. I gained the weight after I got married, but I would say it's been 2 attempts. The 40 pounds I lost before I became pregnant, and the 40 pounds plus the 20 I gained during postpartum depression the last year or so.

 

Can you give us (if you have time) a typical day of food for you? Or 3 typical breakfasts, etc.?

 

What is your hardest meal to make low carb?

Every breakfast is bacon and eggs either with a smoothie or with fruit later.

 

Lunch is usually roasted brussels sprouts because they're cheap, healthy and filling. 

 

Dinner is the difficult part. Tonight is burgers and fries, tomorrow is chicken chili over rice. We can't afford to eat the way I'd like to, but I can't complain about eating carbs once a day, especially with my toddler always having fresh fruits and vegetables available.

 

I know that's not a lot of information, but we keep it very simple. It's easier on me.

[momto10blessings]

Congratulations, that's awesome.

 

Do you have a lot of excess skin from losing such a large amount of weight?

[Slache]

Congratulations, that's awesome.

 

Do you have a lot of excess skin from losing such a large amount of weight?

 

Ha ha! Gross! No. I've lost it very slowly and I'm only 28. I'm hoping to look like a Victoria's Secret model when I'm done. Ok, not really. But I do think my tummy, chest, and whatnot will look rather smashing, mostly because of all of my weight training.

[Laurel]

 

Ha ha! Gross! No. I've lost it very slowly and I'm only 28. I'm hoping to look like a Victoria's Secret model when I'm done. Ok, not really. But I do think my tummy, chest, and whatnot will look rather smashing, mostly because of all of my weight training.

 

What do you do for weight training and other exercise? How often? Did you find a correlation between how much exercise you did and how quickly you lost the weight? (I know many people say that diet is far more important than exercise when it comes to losing weight.)

[melmichigan]

From one formerly obese person to another, Congratulations!   :hurray: It is a long road and a lifestyle change.

[Mom in High Heels]

Good for you!  That's such a huge accomplishment!  What finally pushed you to lose the weight?  Did you just wake up one day and decide to do it, or did you plan it out?

[Slache]

What do you do for weight training and other exercise? P90X. I highly recommed it. Right now I'm mixing my P90X with 5K training. How often? I try to 6 days a week, but it's usually more like 4. Did you find a correlation between how much exercise you did and how quickly you lost the weight? Yes, definitely. Also the type of exercise. I've lost significantly more fat with weight training than aerobics. (I know many people say that diet is far more important than exercise when it comes to losing weight.)

P90X is weight training, aerobics, yoga, and stretching.

 

From one formerly obese person to another, Congratulations!   :hurray: It is a long road and a lifestyle change.

I am actually so grateful for my obesity because it caused my lifestyle to change so much that I am raising my children in a way I never would have before. We don't own a television and don't purchase dessert products such as cookies and ice cream. My son thinks frozen peas are a treat and was absolutely shocked that you can have pizza delivered when someone did it for us as a gift. (He's 3) We hike as a family every day. It's great.

 

Good for you!  That's such a huge accomplishment!  What finally pushed you to lose the weight?  Did you just wake up one day and decide to do it, or did you plan it out?

I was a bad mom because I was lazy and tired. The mission began when my oldest was 3 months old. It started really slow because I had a Cesarean and built up from there. Now I'm one of those annoying women that always wears yoga pants, carries a water bottle everywhere and owns a $150 pair of running shoes.

[Slache]

How do you stay motivated when it takes 3 months to lose 5 pounds?

 I missed this one. By the way, MY NAMES RACHEL TOO! GO US!

 

I usually just couldn't stay motivated, causing me to give up. When I gave up I stared gaining weight again because I became depressed about being fat and the obvious solution to that is to eat more right? Once I started gaining I would get back into it. Now I'm in an annoying stage where I'm not fat enough to be upset about it so I'm not working hard enough to lose it, but not gaining any either. My husband has started working out though and that has me all fussy and I'm back into it because I don't want him to be better looking than me. If that's not the dumbest thing you've ever heard...

[IsabelC]

As someone who has had 'fat' and 'thin' periods of life, one thing I noticed is how blatant the anti-fat stuff is. There are plenty of people who are, for example, racist, but most of them feel obliged to make some pretense at not being racist. However, fattist people don't seem to bother, because they know that they can express their negative thoughts with impunity. It's also very common to hear a relatively thin person twittering about 'I'm sooo fat' actually while talking to another person who is clearly twice as large as them. Thoughtless and self-centered, or (not so) subtle insult?

[Elfknitter.#]

I lost about 10 pounds before I got married, but who didn't. I gained the weight after I got married, but I would say it's been 2 attempts. The 40 pounds I lost before I became pregnant, and the 40 pounds plus the 20 I gained during postpartum depression the last year or so.

 

Every breakfast is bacon and eggs either with a smoothie or with fruit later.

 

Lunch is usually roasted brussels sprouts because they're cheap, healthy and filling.

 

Dinner is the difficult part. Tonight is burgers and fries, tomorrow is chicken chili over rice. We can't afford to eat the way I'd like to, but I can't complain about eating carbs once a day, especially with my toddler always having fresh fruits and vegetables available.

 

I know that's not a lot of information, but we keep it very simple. It's easier on me.

Are your lunches typically just vegetables?

[Joyofsixreboot]

Just a huge kudos to you. Change is hard but you have obviously done it. Woohoo!

[Slache]

As someone who has had 'fat' and 'thin' periods of life, one thing I noticed is how blatant the anti-fat stuff is. There are plenty of people who are, for example, racist, but most of them feel obliged to make some pretense at not being racist. However, fattist people don't seem to bother, because they know that they can express their negative thoughts with impunity. It's also very common to hear a relatively thin person twittering about 'I'm sooo fat' actually while talking to another person who is clearly twice as large as them. Thoughtless and self-centered, or (not so) subtle insult?

That seems like a rhetorical question, but I would say thoughtlessness. We live in a society where women are expected to look like Victoria's Secret models and many of those who don't, and some who do, find themselves to be severely unattractive. I was married for 4 years before I truly understood that my husband thought I was the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world. I was the size of a small whale and I was never beautiful, so the idea that someone could see me that way was against what the media taught me growing up. I think we all just have an innate ability to see our own flaws more than others, and therefore focus on them more.

 

Are your lunches typically just vegetables?

Yes. Sometimes with hummus. Sometimes pizza and brownies to be honest. Veggies are easy. I usually make a batch of roasted brussels sprouts on the weekend and microwave them all week. In my original post it stated that I sleep 10-14 hours a day. Lunch is right before nap time and I'm really tired by then, so if I don't have veggies prepared I tend to eat garbage because it's easier.

[lollie010]

Thanks for your honest responses! I'm so excited because for the first time in about 8 years I moved my BMI from the "obese" category to the "overweight" category. It feels wonderful to no longer be wearing that label. I still have a long way to go and I appreciate the motivational thread!

[ThisIsTheDay]

No questions for you, but I did want to congratulate you on all of your hard work!  This is a great accomplishment, really amazing!!!!

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

[Just Another Jen]

Someone I know needs to lose a lot of weight. This person knows it and every couple months tries and then gives up. Is there anything I can do to be more supportive?

[flyingiguana]

Do you have any estimate as to how much you changed your calorie intake?  And how many extra calories you were burning with exercise?  (I'm wondering if the two together account for the weight loss in a strictly arithmetic sense -- or if changing *what* was being eaten, not just calories, and just getting some exercise somehow changed the way the body approaches metabolism)

 

Did you find it easier to lose weight at the top of your range?  Or was it about the same whatever you weighed?

 

Do you or have you drunk diet soda regularly?  If so, do you think it helps with weight reduction or is it about the same as drinking regular soda?

[scootiepie]

Great job!   What is more important - internal motivation or external?  

 

When you make goals for yourself, do you "go big" and for that 80 lb mark, or have smaller ones and build on it?    How often do you weigh yourself?

 

How did doctors acknowledge the weight issue -- were they hard on you or even bother to bring it up?

[Leav97]

 I missed this one. By the way, MY NAMES RACHEL TOO! GO US!

 

I usually just couldn't stay motivated, causing me to give up. When I gave up I stared gaining weight again because I became depressed about being fat and the obvious solution to that is to eat more right? Once I started gaining I would get back into it. Now I'm in an annoying stage where I'm not fat enough to be upset about it so I'm not working hard enough to lose it, but not gaining any either. My husband has started working out though and that has me all fussy and I'm back into it because I don't want him to be better looking than me. If that's not the dumbest thing you've ever heard...

 

I understand.  My DH started swimming and is easily loosing weight.  It's motivating me.

[umsami]

Someone I know needs to lose a lot of weight. This person knows it and every couple months tries and then gives up. Is there anything I can do to be more supportive?

 

Not to be a downer to this thread, but as somebody who has lost more than 100 pounds at two different times in my adult life, and kept that weight off for over 5 years, only to regain a portion of it… I will say  love them where they are right now.  Even "lifestyle" changes do not necessitate that they will lose a large portion of weight or keep it off.  There is nothing you can do other than not shaming them, not making snide comments about their food choices, that will help.  If they had the magic answer, they wouldn't be fat.

 

The stats on actual diets and long-term weight loss are horrific.  If you go to PubMed, you will not find a single article showing any diet be it low carb, high carb, high fat, low fat, vegan, whatever that lead to significant weight loss by a majority of participants that was maintained for any length of time.  Focus on health, more than weight.  You might lose weight, you might not, but yes, you will be healthier if you are getting 10,000 steps in per day, whether you weigh 150 pounds or 300 pounds.  You will be healthier if you drink more water and less soda, be it diet or regular.  You will be healthier if you eat more fruits and veggies vs. less.  You will be healthier if you find ways to move that you love, and do so each day, rather than not.  You will be healthier if you eat less processed foods, rather than more.  None of these may make you thinner, but you will be healthier.  

 

Even the best diets do not have any peer reviewed studies showing a 10% weight loss that is maintained for even one year…and if you need to lose 100 pounds, we're talking keeping just 10 pounds off.  The gold standard for meds is 10% weight loss maintained for 6 months, and with those, the weight loss is usually only maintained if one sticks with the meds.  Bariatric surgery is considered successful if you lose at least 50% of your excess weight, and maintain it 5 years, but the revision rates for Lap-Bands, RNYs, and now Sleeve Gastrectomies continue to grow.  About the only kind that doesn't have a growing revision rate is a duodenal switch, but that has issues too.

 

I'll also add that being morbidly obese really is different than being obese or just overweight.  Losing 10 pounds or even 30 pounds is nowhere near the same as 150+.  The length of time one is on a diet and the effort to maintain that weight loss is enormous. One researcher put it as trying to withhold the effort to breathe.  Obesity is one of the few diseases where we put the blame on the sufferer, and imply that it is a moral failing that s/he cannot control their disease (of course, the fact that treatment does not work is why dieting is a multibillion dollar industry.)   I highly suggest the work of Gina Kolata on weight loss http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10354959  as well as watching all the info on the microbiome and the roll that plays.  

 

We simply do not have good answers on how to keep a significant portion of weight off.  Bariatric surgery is the best answer we have so far, but even with having 90% of one's stomach removed and have a portion of one's small intestines bypassed so that it simply cannot absorb as many calories, people still gain back the weight.  They are seeing increasing obesity in captive animal populations, which may imply that there is something else going on with the food supply, genetic modification, or microbiome.   Lab animals have their food meticulously weighed and measured.  There are no options for comfort eating, etc.  Yet, they are seeing obesity rise there.  

 

I'm very happy for the OP, but I'll also add that just because you know somebody whose lost weight, do not assume that the people who do not lose weight have some sort of moral failing or aren't trying hard enough or simply just need you to tell them about a magical diet.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

I'm very happy for the OP, but I'll also add that just because you know somebody whose lost weight, do not assume that the people who do not lose weight have some sort of moral failing or aren't trying hard enough or simply just need you to tell them about a magical diet.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Word Nerd]

Congratulations! 

 

What was the first step that you took? DH is obese and wants to lose weight, but he has struggled with how to begin.

[flyingiguana]

Yes, Umsami.

 

As for myself, I've found that the healthier I've become -- the more I've exercised and gotten muscles in shape with weight lifting, the better I've been eating -- the MORE fat I've put on.

 

So I'm even more skeptical that weight is a simple calories in/calories out arithmetic.

 

Even the NPR link, though, implies it's a conscious choice, with the phrase "why it's so hard to lose weight".  To me, this implies that it really could be within someone's control.  I'm not convinced.

 

It is *possible* that it used to be within an individual's control, but that our environment has changed to the point where nothing we do really has any effect.  Best guess right now is that it's the gut bacteria that are the big factor. 

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/gut-infections-keep-mice-lean

There are possibly a lot more things influencing our gut bacteria now than there ever have been before.  And we may not, personally, be able to avoid those things.  After all, there's triclosan in the water supply now. 

[Slache]

Someone I know needs to lose a lot of weight. This person knows it and every couple months tries and then gives up. Is there anything I can do to be more supportive?

The best I can say is do it with them if you can. You might not need to lose 40 pounds, but it wouldn't hurt you to take a kickboxing class with them right? The whole process is discouraging. It's hard. It sucks. I'm always looking at cute clothes I want with gorgeous models in them or motivating saying on pinterest. My favorite is "You can be sore tomorrow, or you can be sorry tomorrow. You chose." My girlfriend's favorite is "Train insane or remain the same."

 

Do you have any estimate as to how much you changed your calorie intake?  And how many extra calories you were burning with exercise?  (I'm wondering if the two together account for the weight loss in a strictly arithmetic sense -- or if changing *what* was being eaten, not just calories, and just getting some exercise somehow changed the way the body approaches metabolism) I have no idea. My goal was to change my lifestyle and become healthy. I knew counting calories and eating diet foods was not going to accomplish my goals.

 

Did you find it easier to lose weight at the top of your range?  Or was it about the same whatever you weighed? I think it was easier in the beginning than the middle, but now than I'm in really good shape (I'm just fat because I had so much fat that there's still some there) I think it's easier. I'm lifting twenties and running miles that I couldn't have in the beginning, so I'm just naturally loosing more.

 

Do you or have you drunk diet soda regularly?  If so, do you think it helps with weight reduction or is it about the same as drinking regular soda? No. Diet soda is evil. It increases your appetite. Stay away. I do drink a lot of Talking Rain which is a calorie free, sugar free, sugar substitute free, carbonated drink with a very slight hint of real fruit juice for flavoring.

 

 

Great job!   What is more important - internal motivation or external?  Internal. I've always wanted to be a babe, but the desire to be a better mother is what finally pushed me over the edge.

 

When you make goals for yourself, do you "go big" and for that 80 lb mark, or have smaller ones and build on it?    How often do you weigh yourself? Small ones, but not in pounds. Run this far, lift this much, touch my toes. My end goal was to lose 120 pounds, but If I tried to just lose 120 pounds I would push hard, cheat and give up. I stopped weighing myself after starting P90X. I lost 2 pants sizes, gained 20 pounds and became depressed. I decided I liked my toned arms more than the number on the scale and put the scale in the closet.

 

How did doctors acknowledge the weight issue -- were they hard on you or even bother to bring it up? They actually don't bring it up and when I do they act like it's a non issue. I don't get it. I feel like it's a huge deal to be overweight.

 

 

Not to be a downer to this thread, but as somebody who has lost more than 100 pounds at two different times in my adult life, and kept that weight off for over 5 years, only to regain a portion of it… I will say  love them where they are right now.  Even "lifestyle" changes do not necessitate that they will lose a large portion of weight or keep it off.  There is nothing you can do other than not shaming them, not making snide comments about their food choices, that will help.  If they had the magic answer, they wouldn't be fat.

 

The stats on actual diets and long-term weight loss are horrific.  If you go to PubMed, you will not find a single article showing any diet be it low carb, high carb, high fat, low fat, vegan, whatever that lead to significant weight loss by a majority of participants that was maintained for any length of time.  Focus on health, more than weight.  You might lose weight, you might not, but yes, you will be healthier if you are getting 10,000 steps in per day, whether you weigh 150 pounds or 300 pounds.  You will be healthier if you drink more water and less soda, be it diet or regular.  You will be healthier if you eat more fruits and veggies vs. less.  You will be healthier if you find ways to move that you love, and do so each day, rather than not.  You will be healthier if you eat less processed foods, rather than more.  None of these may make you thinner, but you will be healthier.  

 

Even the best diets do not have any peer reviewed studies showing a 10% weight loss that is maintained for even one year…and if you need to lose 100 pounds, we're talking keeping just 10 pounds off.  The gold standard for meds is 10% weight loss maintained for 6 months, and with those, the weight loss is usually only maintained if one sticks with the meds.  Bariatric surgery is considered successful if you lose at least 50% of your excess weight, and maintain it 5 years, but the revision rates for Lap-Bands, RNYs, and now Sleeve Gastrectomies continue to grow.  About the only kind that doesn't have a growing revision rate is a duodenal switch, but that has issues too.

 

I'll also add that being morbidly obese really is different than being obese or just overweight.  Losing 10 pounds or even 30 pounds is nowhere near the same as 150+.  The length of time one is on a diet and the effort to maintain that weight loss is enormous. One researcher put it as trying to withhold the effort to breathe.  Obesity is one of the few diseases where we put the blame on the sufferer, and imply that it is a moral failing that s/he cannot control their disease (of course, the fact that treatment does not work is why dieting is a multibillion dollar industry.)   I highly suggest the work of Gina Kolata on weight loss http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10354959  as well as watching all the info on the microbiome and the roll that plays.  

 

We simply do not have good answers on how to keep a significant portion of weight off.  Bariatric surgery is the best answer we have so far, but even with having 90% of one's stomach removed and have a portion of one's small intestines bypassed so that it simply cannot absorb as many calories, people still gain back the weight.  They are seeing increasing obesity in captive animal populations, which may imply that there is something else going on with the food supply, genetic modification, or microbiome.   Lab animals have their food meticulously weighed and measured.  There are no options for comfort eating, etc.  Yet, they are seeing obesity rise there.  

 

I'm very happy for the OP, but I'll also add that just because you know somebody whose lost weight, do not assume that the people who do not lose weight have some sort of moral failing or aren't trying hard enough or simply just need you to tell them about a magical diet.  

Definitely not a downer and you made some great points. Can I ask why you didn't stop yourself when you started gaining again? I've began gaining twice and stopped myself both times. I'm curious as to the difference.

 

Congratulations! 

 

What was the first step that you took? DH is obese and wants to lose weight, but he has struggled with how to begin.

I started walking easy trails, then hiking, added Cathy Smith at home, then moved up to Tae Bo. I became pregnant and continued with Tae Bo for about 1/2 my pregnancy, but not pushing myself as hard as I would otherwise. I was struck with postpartum depression and didn't begin again until she was 9 months old. I went back to Tae Bo, but my friend urged me to use P90X. He was a man, so I was skeptical, but boy was he right. I got fast results and felt great. It was really easy to modify too. I recommend it over any other program out there.

[Slache]

Were you obese as a child, or was this excess pregnancy weight gain?

 

Did you find you lost inches before pounds?

I was a pretty thin kid. My mom was an addict and I frequently missed meals. I believe about 40 pounds was from pregnancy. I had horrible morning sickness and the only thing I could keep down was eggnog. There was a store down the street that sold it year around so I had about a half gallon a day. Most of the weight, however I gained between my wedding and my pregnancy. We were poor and I was always stressed.

 

 

The inches/pounds thing goes back and forth. I think I'm confused because of muscle weight gained.

[Erin]

:lurk5: (<-- buttered cauliflower lol)

 

I just wanted to put something in here so I can follow it.  Everyone else has already hit my questions!   :)

[Just Another Jen]

The best I can say is do it with them if you can. You might not need to lose 40 pounds, but it wouldn't hurt you to take a kickboxing class with them right? The whole process id discouraging. It's hard. It sucks. I'm always looking at cute clothes I want with gorgeous models in them or motivating saying on pinterest. My favorite is "You can be sore tomorrow, or you can be sorry tomorrow. You chose." My girlfriends favorite is "Train insane or remain the same."

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's the thing. We started January 30. So far I have lost 12.8 pounds. He is up 10. I stopped buying soda and junk so that it isn't readily available. He either eats it out or buys it himself to eat at night. I have been drinking a lot of water and trying to get to 10,000 steps a day. He was talking about getting a lap band but now that he realizes that is a lifetime change in eating habits, he hasn't talked about it again, And just for clarification he needs to lose 150 pounds to be back to his normal weight.

In just 4 more pounds my bmi will be in the normal range. I am feeling so good I actually hope to lose another 10 pounds to get back to my before kids weight. So all he has to do is do it with me.

[J-rap]

Do you try and eat meat that is grass-fed and hormone-free, and veggies and eggs that are organic?  I ask this because people I know who are on the paleo diet feel that this is an important aspect of losing weight on a low-carb high-protein diet.  Especially the grass-fed meat part. 

 

ETA:  I meant to also say CONGRATULATIONS!!  That is a big accomplishment.  I know it's not easy.

[Slache]

That's the thing. We started January 30. So far I have lost 12.8 pounds. He is up 10. I stopped buying soda and junk so that it isn't readily available. He either eats it out or buys it himself to eat at night. I have been drinking a lot of water and trying to get to 10,000 steps a day. He was talking about getting a lap band but now that he realizes that is a lifetime change in eating habits, he hasn't talked about it again, And just for clarification he needs to lose 150 pounds to be back to his normal weight.

In just 4 more pounds my bmi will be in the normal range. I am feeling so good I actually hope to lose another 10 pounds to get back to my before kids weight. So all he has to do is do it with me.

Those self sabotaging behaviors are obnoxious. I do the same things. I have 2 thoughts.

 

1. Find someone who lost 150 pounds and get them together. If he sees the difference it's made in that persons life and he might decide it's worth giving up his garbage. You wouldn't believe the difference it's made in mine. I've seen improvements in headaches, body aches, those random sharp pains nobody can explain, energy level, sex life, marriage, as a mother, people respect me more, I fit in things better(cars, small kitchens, etc.), I'm prettier, I spend less money on food, clothes are easier to find. I could probably sit here for an hour and keep listing things.

 

2. If this is a man you live with you can "control" him. Ok, that sounds really bad, but I'm serious. When my husband wasn't taking care of himself and getting really big we talked about it and he told me he had no self control and he let me take control. I made the shopping lists and did the shopping. I took his debit card so he couldn't get fast food. I met him at the door when he got home with a bag of garbage for the dumpster and said he couldn't come home until he went to the gym. I know those are nasty things to do but they're effective, and he asked for them so it's not my fault.

 

Do you try and eat meat that is grass-fed and hormone-free, and veggies and eggs that are organic?  I ask this because people I know who are on the paleo diet feel that this is an important aspect of losing weight on a low-carb high-protein diet.  Especially the grass-fed meat part. 

 

ETA:  I meant to also say CONGRATULATIONS!!  That is a big accomplishment.  I know it's not easy.

I do, but just because it's healthier in general. I buy meat value packs from New Seasons and do once a month cooking. It's very cost effective because we don't waste food or go out to eat.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Rivendell Mom, may I recommend SparkPeople.com to your dh?  It stresses baby-steps (like drinking and tracking 8 glasses of water daily for starters) that all contribute to weight loss.  May I also recommend that you take the focus off of weight loss and on to healthy habits period.  Drinking enough water (and not soda or juice) is healthy for reasons other than weight loss.  Getting even 10 min. of exercise a day for starters (another Sparkpeople baby-step) is healthy for reasons other than weight loss.  

 

I've been trying to actively lose weight for 6 years now.  I haven't lost ANY (or more accurately I've lost some, gained it, lost some, gained it etc. with an end net weight loss of zero).  But I am dealing with thyroid problems, bloodsugar problems (that started long before my weight problems), metabolism problems due to having been a semi-invalid due to chronic pain problems. . .  you get the picture.  Not all weight problems can be solved by following the advice of a motivational poster.  But I have healthy habits and keep working on those daily despite what the scale says.  So I daily track my food and my bloodsugars and my carbs (which are low) and my exercise and I keep doing those things tailored to my specific needs by my doctors and physical therapist.  I recognize that my health problems aren't everyday ones and yet I've also found a lot of people on Sparkpeople who have my same problems and more and am encouraged by them.  

 

My recommendation to people is to sign up for something like Sparkpeople (there are other sites too) where you can get information and support and can keep track of what you are doing.  And listen to other people's stories but don't let them tell you that their way is the only way because believe me, someone can do every single thing on someone else's list and find that it doesn't work for them.  Find what works for you.  

[fraidycat]

Do you try and eat meat that is grass-fed and hormone-free, and veggies and eggs that are organic? I ask this because people I know who are on the paleo diet feel that this is an important aspect of losing weight on a low-carb high-protein diet. Especially the grass-fed meat part.

 

ETA: I meant to also say CONGRATULATIONS!! That is a big accomplishment. I know it's not easy.

The grass-fed/organic is for overall health reasons, not just weight. More specifically, balancing Omega 6/3 ratios, and having more nutritious food with less toxins. This is not even touching on the ethics issues. Paleo is a lifestyle and Health way of eating, not a weight loss "diet".

[DawnM]

Absolutely!

 

And while I admire these folks coming on here with the "Ask a XXXX person about YYYYY......" I keep thinking that each person starting a thread is giving ONE perspective, namely her own, and it is NOT giving the words of every person who was obese, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, communal living, or living overseas.......it is ONE point of view.

 

Dawn

 

 

Not to be a downer to this thread, but as somebody who has lost more than 100 pounds at two different times in my adult life, and kept that weight off for over 5 years, only to regain a portion of it… I will say  love them where they are right now.  Even "lifestyle" changes do not necessitate that they will lose a large portion of weight or keep it off.  There is nothing you can do other than not shaming them, not making snide comments about their food choices, that will help.  If they had the magic answer, they wouldn't be fat.

 

The stats on actual diets and long-term weight loss are horrific.  If you go to PubMed, you will not find a single article showing any diet be it low carb, high carb, high fat, low fat, vegan, whatever that lead to significant weight loss by a majority of participants that was maintained for any length of time.  Focus on health, more than weight.  You might lose weight, you might not, but yes, you will be healthier if you are getting 10,000 steps in per day, whether you weigh 150 pounds or 300 pounds.  You will be healthier if you drink more water and less soda, be it diet or regular.  You will be healthier if you eat more fruits and veggies vs. less.  You will be healthier if you find ways to move that you love, and do so each day, rather than not.  You will be healthier if you eat less processed foods, rather than more.  None of these may make you thinner, but you will be healthier.  

 

Even the best diets do not have any peer reviewed studies showing a 10% weight loss that is maintained for even one year…and if you need to lose 100 pounds, we're talking keeping just 10 pounds off.  The gold standard for meds is 10% weight loss maintained for 6 months, and with those, the weight loss is usually only maintained if one sticks with the meds.  Bariatric surgery is considered successful if you lose at least 50% of your excess weight, and maintain it 5 years, but the revision rates for Lap-Bands, RNYs, and now Sleeve Gastrectomies continue to grow.  About the only kind that doesn't have a growing revision rate is a duodenal switch, but that has issues too.

 

I'll also add that being morbidly obese really is different than being obese or just overweight.  Losing 10 pounds or even 30 pounds is nowhere near the same as 150+.  The length of time one is on a diet and the effort to maintain that weight loss is enormous. One researcher put it as trying to withhold the effort to breathe.  Obesity is one of the few diseases where we put the blame on the sufferer, and imply that it is a moral failing that s/he cannot control their disease (of course, the fact that treatment does not work is why dieting is a multibillion dollar industry.)   I highly suggest the work of Gina Kolata on weight loss http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10354959  as well as watching all the info on the microbiome and the roll that plays.  

 

We simply do not have good answers on how to keep a significant portion of weight off.  Bariatric surgery is the best answer we have so far, but even with having 90% of one's stomach removed and have a portion of one's small intestines bypassed so that it simply cannot absorb as many calories, people still gain back the weight.  They are seeing increasing obesity in captive animal populations, which may imply that there is something else going on with the food supply, genetic modification, or microbiome.   Lab animals have their food meticulously weighed and measured.  There are no options for comfort eating, etc.  Yet, they are seeing obesity rise there.  

 

I'm very happy for the OP, but I'll also add that just because you know somebody whose lost weight, do not assume that the people who do not lose weight have some sort of moral failing or aren't trying hard enough or simply just need you to tell them about a magical diet.  

 

[Erin]

Absolutely!

 

And while I admire these folks coming on here with the "Ask a XXXX person about YYYYY......" I keep thinking that each person starting a thread is giving ONE perspective, namely her own, and it is NOT giving the words of every person who was obese, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, communal living, or living overseas.......it is ONE point of view.

 

Dawn

 

Of course. 

Which is why it seems MOST of these threads have generated comments by others with a similar experience yet differing points of view.  :)

[Redeemed7]

 

I have to applaud you. Anyone, that has lost that much weight needs to be proud of themselves. I have to give you kudos for your accomplishments.

 

I'm never lost that much weight. As someone that has either been in the overweight or obese category since I was a child, I get your intelligence comment. Often it feels as if you have to work 10x harder. I have often felt over looked. I really don't know how to describe it. I'm sure their are others like me that understand. There are many things I could say, but some may be too personal. Perhaps I will at some point.

[Redeemed7]

I also give kudos to Umsami's remarks. I thought they were point on. Don't get me wrong. Please hear this. What I am about to say is not directed at the OP. I applaud what she has done.

 

My mom used to say ex-smokers were the hardest on smokers. I had a cousin that smoked for a short time and she was able to quit. She didn't get why others couldn't quit and on and on. My mother has been a smoker since she was a teenager. She has some emotional things tied into her smoking. She has tried quitting several times. I'm sure under the right circumstances she could. I do not like smoking at all. I have tried to be supportive. However, I do have compassion for her. Could she quit smoking? I'm sure she could. Could I lose weight? Yes, I'm sure given the right circumstances I could.

 

The only reason I am stating this is that people have a variety of reasons for being overweight and a variety of things work for different people. What works for one won't necessarily always work for another. Being a former overweight person doesn't give you the insight or ability to be able to model the perfect weight loss plan for another. Yes, they can give them tips and pointers. I am definitely not saying the support doesn't help. Just that everyone is different. Being overweight or obese and "curing" that is not just about calories in calories out. At least from my own experience it isn't. I'm just one person. Nobody has to agree with me.

[J-rap]

The grass-fed/organic is for overall health reasons, not just weight. More specifically, balancing Omega 6/3 ratios, and having more nutritious food with less toxins. This is not even touching on the ethics issues. Paleo is a lifestyle and Health way of eating, not a weight loss "diet".

 

Yes, I do understand that.  I was just addressing the weight part for the purpose of this particular topic, but I do know that it's a whole lifestyle.  My son is actually on it (for about three years, and not for weight loss), and says it has changed his life!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Not to be a downer to this thread, but as somebody who has lost more than 100 pounds at two different times in my adult life, and kept that weight off for over 5 years, only to regain a portion of it… I will say  love them where they are right now.  Even "lifestyle" changes do not necessitate that they will lose a large portion of weight or keep it off.  There is nothing you can do other than not shaming them, not making snide comments about their food choices, that will help.  If they had the magic answer, they wouldn't be fat.

 

The stats on actual diets and long-term weight loss are horrific.  If you go to PubMed, you will not find a single article showing any diet be it low carb, high carb, high fat, low fat, vegan, whatever that lead to significant weight loss by a majority of participants that was maintained for any length of time.  Focus on health, more than weight.  You might lose weight, you might not, but yes, you will be healthier if you are getting 10,000 steps in per day, whether you weigh 150 pounds or 300 pounds.  You will be healthier if you drink more water and less soda, be it diet or regular.  You will be healthier if you eat more fruits and veggies vs. less.  You will be healthier if you find ways to move that you love, and do so each day, rather than not.  You will be healthier if you eat less processed foods, rather than more.  None of these may make you thinner, but you will be healthier.  

 

. . .

 

I'm very happy for the OP, but I'll also add that just because you know somebody whose lost weight, do not assume that the people who do not lose weight have some sort of moral failing or aren't trying hard enough or simply just need you to tell them about a magical diet.  

Thank you for this whole post, umsami.

 

I have 100 lbs. to lose.  I'm going to try to lose it slowly, but I'm also 45, post hysterectomy, so I think I will have to worry about the flabby skin.  I really don't care about my weight, but I'm not feeling healthy.  I need to change that. 

 

OP- congratulations!  I'm happy you've done such a fantastic job on your goal!

[Reefgazer]

Wow, congratulations!  I'm in the early stages of my de-fatting journey (don't want to post how awful much I have to lose), and this is a really helpful thread.  LOl on the brussel sprouts because I could eat 'em roasted (with parmesean cheee!)  all the live long day.  I'm impressed and hope I can be you one day!  

[Ameena]

Congratulations!

 

Do you have any advice for someone who has a lot to lose, has tried repeatedly & the weight just won't budge? I need to lose around 125-150lbs honestly. I've tried Weight Watchers 3x {Gained}, Atkins {Gained}, Sparkpeople {did nothing}, a dietician {maintained - she finally gave up} and adding activity {gained}. My Dr. is recommending Medifast, as I'm not a candidate for surgery. I am dealing with thyroid issues that put the last 50 or so pounds on, but have always been heavy since childhood & unable to lose weight. I maintain excellently - I just can't lose for the life of me. I eat fairly healthy but hearty - I am a meat & potatoes gal who feels best with a lot of protein in my diet.

[StaceyinLA]

Congratulations! That is an awesome accomplishment!

 

I have a couple of questions.

 

Did you find that, as you had gained weight in the past, you began feeling worse? Did you have physical issues, and, if so, did you just gradually become more accustomed to feeling badly?

 

As you have lost weight, have you noticed that how you feel overall has improved, and in what ways?

 

I am asking because I have a sister who is morbidly obese. She has a LOT of health problems. I wonder how many could be greatly affected by losing weight. She also has a granddaughter who, at 18, probably weighs at least double what she should. It is awful because I know she is setting herself up for so many health problems. Of course, I don't know how in the world I, or anyone else, could gently encourage them to lose weight for their overall health without it seeming insulting.

[Joyofsixreboot]

That's the thing. We started January 30. So far I have lost 12.8 pounds. He is up 10. I stopped buying soda and junk so that it isn't readily available. He either eats it out or buys it himself to eat at night. I have been drinking a lot of water and trying to get to 10,000 steps a day. He was talking about getting a lap band but now that he realizes that is a lifetime change in eating habits, he hasn't talked about it again, And just for clarification he needs to lose 150 pounds to be back to his normal weight.

In just 4 more pounds my bmi will be in the normal range. I am feeling so good I actually hope to lose another 10 pounds to get back to my before kids weight. So all he has to do is do it with me.

Rivendel mom, my dh and I are the same. I run and lost 40 lb he has as much to lose as your dh. I don't say anything. They are adults. They know. I do get sad worrying about his health.

[Reefgazer]

Can you describe more about how the Paleo diet has changed your son's life?

Yes, I do understand that.  I was just addressing the weight part for the purpose of this particular topic, but I do know that it's a whole lifestyle.  My son is actually on it (for about three years, and not for weight loss), and says it has changed his life!