Chores and allowance. How do you do it?

[dancingmama]

My kids are getting to the age where the would like their own money. We have done chores and allowance in the past and it has fallen by the wayside. Hubby and I are reconsidering, especially since we would like to make it a learning experience.

 

How do you handle allowance and chores getting done? What is your system and how do you determine amount and reasonable chores for your kids?

[DragonFaerie]

Chores and allowance are mutually exclusive in our house.  The kids get allowance because I want them to learn how to handle money and make financial choices.  The kids do chores because they live here and I am not their maid.  They can help out to keep the place nice.  That said, I'll tell you how we do both.

 

For the allowance, I have a calendar that my kids must initial when they receive their allowance.  That way there is no "I didn't get mine this week!" We can simply go look at the calendar and see what they signed for.

 

For the chores, each kid has a schedule on the fridge that lists what they must do each day.  They check things off as they finish them, and at the end of the day, if the chores were done correctly and with a good attitude, they get a sticker.  Stickers can be traded in for quarters or two stickers can be traded in for an extra dessert (they are only allowed one dessert per day unless they trade in stickers).  This works well because it cuts down on the arguing.  If I just tell them to do something, they tend to complain.  If it's on the chore chart, they know they have to do it and they want that sticker. :D

 

[Cera]

Chores and allowance are mutually exclusive in our house.  The kids get allowance because I want them to learn how to handle money and make financial choices.  The kids do chores because they live here and I am not their maid.  They can help out to keep the place nice.  That said, I'll tell you how we do both.

 

 

 

This is the deal in our house as well.  From 5-10 they get $5 a week, at 10 it switches to $10 a week (my oldest is about to turn 10 so who knows beyond that).  Their money is theirs but I have veto power over what is purchased.  I have used it a few times for items I deem inappropriate and ridiculous amounts of candy.  I don't require them to pay for anything except extraneous wants (my oldest has bought some rather horrid clothing items from justice that while appropriate as far as coverage I would never have purchased for her, my younger likes to buy stuffed animals on every vacation).

 

We don't have a chore chart but my kids know that I expect them to help when asked and are very good about it.  At 9 and 7 they can do laundry, dishes, stack firewood, vacuum, make beds, etc.  Some weeks they help a lot (if I am sick, busy, we have company coming) and some weeks not as much (if they are sick, busy or out of the house a lot).  If they don't want to help they are welcome to use their own money to hire someone else to do it (just like me hiring a housekeeper or landscaper in my opinion).  

[momma2three]

I don't pay for chores... nobody pays me for chores, either.  LOL.  I pay dd 25¢ for every line of poetry she memorizes, and that's her allowance.  She's earned about $40 this year.

 

ETA: I will pay for over-and-above household stuff.  I lost something tiny and very important last week, and I cop to paying her $5 to take everything out of the trash can to look for it.  It was a pretty gross task (lots of old food scraps), and I would never have made her do it.  But I really didn't want to, st I offered her $5 if she'd do it, and her face lit up and she did a really good job.

[Desert Strawberry]

Chores and allowance are mutually exclusive in our house.  The kids get allowance because I want them to learn how to handle money and make financial choices.  The kids do chores because they live here and I am not their maid.  They can help out to keep the place nice.  That said, I'll tell you how we do both.

 

 

Here ,too.

 

Each kid has a checklist on the wall with his chores listed. They mark them off as they go. My oldest earns a sticker each day that he does his chores and school completely with a good attitude. Each sticker is good for 1hr of video game time. He can earn extras for babysitting my friend's toddlers or doing big chores like moving furniture or reorganizing cupboards. I do not pay him with cash.

This does double duty of reinforcing appropriate behavior and limiting screen time. He's my spectrum kid, so both of these are important. The other kids don't need this system. 

 

Allowance is each payday, if there is room in the budget. They get $1 per year of age. Roughly one third goes into savings, the rest is theirs to spend. If they want to save up for something, I will help formulate a short term savings plan.

 

The only rule I enforce on spending is that they can only purchase a single serving of candy at a time. We had a candy hoarding problem, which resulted in an all out ban, followed by this compromise.

[SKL]

We don't do an "allowance" at this point.  I think I started it for a little while, but then there was a problem with certain behaviors that traced back to the allowance, so I stopped it.

 

I don't pay for chores.  Chores are simply required.

 

There are some optional jobs I will pay for, though.  Mostly outdoor work.  They also have a few other ways of getting money.  Sometimes I will bribe them in connection with school, they get birthday money, tooth fairy money, stuff like that.  We don't have a store within walking distance, so I take them to Pat Catan's periodically, or let them spend their money on snacks in aftercare once in a while.

 

I have been keeping aside a little savings account for each kid, into which I deposit $1 per day and it earns a tiny bit of interest.  They don't know about this yet, but when they are old enough to understand it, I will probably let them dip into the interest or something like that, just so they get some understanding of how all that works.

[Ottakee]

My girls get $10/week right now of which $2/week goes to their very basic phone bill.  They pay for the extras they want, fast food if they want a special stop, etc.  When older dd turns 19 she will get SSI (disability) and then we will likely give her a debit card with about $10-20/week on it and work on budgeting for even more things.  Our situation is a bit different though as my kids all have special needs.

 

They are able to earn extra money though.  $1 per wheelbarrow load of horse poop is the most popular item here.

[Prairie~Phlox]

We don't do allowances.  They learn what to do with birthday money and then when they are old enough to earn money, it's discussed.  No one pays me to clean my house, I'm not gonna pay my kids.  It was the same way when I was growing up.

[MinivanMom]

Chores and allowance are mutually exclusive in our house.  The kids get allowance because I want them to learn how to handle money and make financial choices.  The kids do chores because they live here and I am not their maid.  They can help out to keep the place nice.  That said, I'll tell you how we do both.

 

 

We have the same philosophy.

 

For allowance, we gradually increase the amount and decrease the frequency. The idea is to give them the opportunity to learn how to manage larger amounts of money over a longer time span. We encourage them to tithe and to save half, but they are free to choose and can waste it all on candy if they want. So far we have given:

5 yrs - $1 per week

8 yrs - $10 every other week

10 yrs - $40 once per month

We are talking about ending allowance for our oldest once she is old enough to babysit and earn her own money. We want to start giving her a clothing allowance at that point instead. We would give her the money we normally spend on spring/fall clothes, and she would have to budget it out herself. Any leftover money she has from staying within budget would be hers to keep.

 

For chores, we have a chart we keep on the fridge that lists off weekly chores. The kids check them off when they complete them. They also have daily chores, but we haven't ever needed a chart to get those done. Our kids start with simpler chores and then graduate to harder things (passing the simple chore down to the next sibling). Right now their chores are:

3 yr old - clean up his toys, put his laundry in the hamper, put his clean laundry away in his drawers

6 yr old - same as little brother plus cleaning the half-bath and dusting & vacuuming her room each week

8 yr old - clean kids' bath, dust & vacuum upstairs, unload the dishwasher, sweep after lunch, & clean kitchen after dinner w/big sister

10 yr old - clean master bath (since she likes to use my shower), dust & vacuum downstairs, help with laundry, sweep after breakfast, & clean kitchen after dinner w/little brother.

I clean the kitchen, clean the hardwoods, and do any deep cleaning like baseboards, cupboards, or fingerprints on walls. I think having me work alongside them is great. There is a sense of us all working together to take care of our home.

[Loowit]

We do a small allowance but it is not tied to chores.  It is so they have a little spending money of their own and learn things like saving for things they want.  Chores are done because they are part of the family and that is what is expected.  If they do extra chores that are not on their typical list they get a little money or another incentive like extra computer time.

[marbel]

We give allowances based on their basic contributions to the household.  Though my kids are close in age, the one who has more responsibilities gets more money.   Extra cash can be earned for extra chores. 

 

They are required to give 10% toward charity (usually our church but they can do something else if they want), 20% into their savings account (which could be partially tapped for an agreed-upon important purchase, such as car insurance) and the rest is theirs to spend.  I don't make them pay for all their clothing or personal care items but makeup, special clothing that they don't need, money for food when they're out with friends or youth group, that sort of thing, comes from their allowance.  

[Seeking Squirrels]

We seperate chores and responsibilities. Cleaning her room, taking care of her clothes, things like that are her responsibilities and must be done, no reward.

 

On the side we have extra chores that I see as above what she should be required to do but she is able. She gets an allowance for helping me with these chores. As she gets older, chores will become responsibilities and she will get new chores.

 

We do .50 per year old per week. So at 5 she gets 2.50 a week. .50 has to go into savings. She is not allowed to buy candy or other edible treats but she can buy whatever she wants beyond that. If I call her to help with a chore and she declines, which she is allowed to do, a quarter is deducted from her allowance.

 

She's had the same chores for a while now so soon I will roll those over to being expected and give her some new options for earning allowance.

[Laura Corin]

We don't link them.  The boys have pocket money.  They are also expected uncomplainingly to do whatever chores need doing.

 

Now that Calvin is adult-sized, he gets paid for doing gardening chores that the adults would otherwise have to do.

 

L

[mytwomonkeys]

I have chores listed on clothes pins & they're attached to a piece of cardboard on the left side. As my kids finish a chore they move the clothes pin to the right side. This makes it simple and doable. :)

[mytwomonkeys]

Like this:

 

http://firstimemom.wordpress.com/tag/chore-chart/

 

(I didn't read the blog - just found the image on google to give you an example :) )

[mommymilkies]

My kids have chores, but no allowance.  We used to give allowance and it 1. all went to candy and 2. was out of our budget.  I stopped getting child support, and every penny counts.  Spending $30+ a week on candy and stuff is not something I can imagine at this point.  Instead, the kids always get $5 on holidays from family, always get birthday money, and can earn small amounts of money for extra grueling jobs.  For example, raking up all the weeds I pull (several wheelbarrows full and trips to dump them) will get $1-5 for 30 minutes of work. $3 for every raised garden bed decently weeded. $1 to mop.  Stuff like that.  But my kids don't really need pocket money and usually have more pocket money on hand than I do, so I think they'll live through it. 

[bolt.]

We don't link them. All family members get "free money" (currently $4/wk for kids) and all family members help with chores.

 

There are some opportunities for extra earning.

 

I have even small chdren "pay for" a lot of items that would be unusual in other families, including lost/damaged items. (Own fast food meals, gifts they buy for others, dresses they don't need, pet toys, books...)

[bluemongoose]

We also keep the chores and allowance separate.  I use an app for keeping track of allowance.  It automatically "deposits" their weekly allowance into their "account" in the app. This is very helpful.

 

They each have assigned chores and sometimes I ask for extra help.  They know that they just help because we all live here and we have to work together to keep it picked up.  If I have to do something for them because they dont do it, I accept payment from their allowance.  Like pp they may choose to pay someone else to do their chores as long as they have money to do so.

 

I do have veto powers on what they purchase, but so far I have not had to use it.  Sometimes they pitch in to upgrade something we were planning on purchasing for them.  Eg. DS needed shoes, I found a pair of Stride Rites that fit him (very wide foot...this is challenging) for $25. He wanted light up shoes that cost an additional $16.  He pitched in the difference and we got the light up ones. They also are expected to pay for things they damage or break if it is within reason.  We use allowance like a paycheck and expect them to learn life skills from it.

[bluemongoose]

Oh lost things...ya we charge for those as well...especially pencils and eraser caps!  I give them a free pencil if they turn in a too short one, but if they come to me needing a pencil because it is lost...thats .25!

[PeacefulChaos]

We don't do allowance OR chores in the traditional sense.  :leaving:

 

They have responsibilities around the house, but nothing that has to be checked off or anything.  If I ask for it to be done, it's expected that it gets done.  But everything, mostly, varies by day.

 

I don't really see a point in an allowance at this point.  Not saying others shouldn't do it - just for us, it's pointless.

[abba12]

It's all theoretical for us at the moment, but DH and I have talked about our rather unique ideas regarding allowance, having come from two families who handled money and children very differently. Birthday money is not something either side of the family has ever done, I think I received it once ever, as a teenager, so that's out for us.

 

We agree chores shouldn't be linked. My family tried to do this a couple of times and it worked until my sister decided she didn't care enough about allowance to do her chores. That sort of backfired. Chores, to us, are the everyday tasks that are something everyone does to contribute to a family. I imagine we would have a morning chore 'list' and evening chore 'list' (realistically only a couple of items) per child which would be on some sort of rotating system. Dishes, bedrooms, bathrooms and the like.

 

I read some things years ago about a family who wrote a book, and they gave their children something like $50 a week, BUT, the child was responsible for purchasing all their own clothes, school lunches, social fun expenses, stationary and school supplies, gifts for friends and family, fees for extracurriculars like soccer etc etc. They talked about how their kids learnt, as kids, that it was better to buy the $10 shirt at target than the $35 shirt at the brand name store, and they learnt about emergency funds and planning for big expenses like Christmas presents. It apparently helped a lot when they went to college and already had a concept not just of saving, but of the value of things, when they were willing to spend more (perhaps on light up shoes) and when they were happy to buy something cheaper (like new socks, white ones vs the cool character theme ones). Kids will often beg for the super cute $5 stationary, but when they actually have to be the ones to buy it, some will consider it worth the expense, but plenty will opt for the 50c standard ones. Or if they do buy the $5 stuff, they're a whole lot less likely to lose it because it was THEIR $5 they spent on it! They also talked about how their kids had a lot more appreciation and care for what they owned. Fact is, kids will take the shirt you bought them for granted, and think nothing of leaving it on the floor. But if they spent their money on it, they know it's value and are more likely to care for it. But after they have bought themselves a few shirts, they will recognize the value in one they are gifted much more. Presents from the children had more meaning when the kids wern't just given money to spend at Christmas time, which is what happened in DHs family. The kids even learnt about bills, having to set aside a portion of that money every week for school lunches and soccer. By giving them the money that, really, you'd be spending on them anyway (because you're also giving them the expenses you would usually foot) they supposedly learnt a lot about not just money, but the place and value of posessions and experiences in their lives while still young enough to be guided by the parents and not by peers or what's 'cool'

 

I didn't agree with their method entirely and I could see it completely failing for some kids, but we thought it had a lot of merit, having been one of those kids who's pocket money was spent on candy and chips every week. We are not sure if we will give any sort of set allowance weekly, but we intend to have a readily available list of 'jobs' that we are willing to pay them for which happen with enough frequency to pay them a decent portion of money (DH thinks he can work economics into this lol, I think he's over complicating it, though, he has a point about sometimes there being lots of work and pay, and sometimes there not being much work, and planning ahead for the 'dry periods'. He also says that things would be in place to stop an older child from doing all the easy little child jobs.)

[KrissiK]

The kids have daily chores. They get allowance every other week. The amount depends on their grades for that grading period. One isn't dependent on the other. That's too much bookkeeping for me. If they don't do their chores they don't get to play. Chores are time dependent - cleaning off dinner table, trash, cleaning off lunch table, setting table, etc. so, they get done immediately after or before a meal.

[StephanieZ]

My kids have no allowance, but they do have chores. :)

 

That's how we roll. 

 

LOL.

 

The kids have modest daily/weekly chores, which they do fairly cheerfully with a little prompting, and they help when asked in general household cleaning fests (before parties/guests, etc.)

 

When they want money, I always have well-paying jobs readily available. I always need cleaning and/or yard work done. I pay generously (about $6-10/hr depending on age and difficulty/grossness of job), generally by the measurable task. Other than that, they earn money from outside music jobs/contests/gigs or birthday money, etc. 

[Alice]

Allowance and chores here but not linked. 

 

Allowance starts at age 5, it's half of your age each week. They each have a savings account and about once a month I'll sit down and transfer money to their accounts with them watching. I mark it on the calendar when we do it so they see it's been done. They have to tithe 10% to church, otherwise the money is theirs and they can do with it what they want. As they get older they are required to buy more of their own extra stuff. For example at our pool in the summer there is a snackbar and they always want treats. They can buy them but with their own money. They buy Christmas and birthday presents for each other out of their own money but decide how much to spend. If there is a something they really want (a toy, an app for the Kindle) they can buy it with their own money. They mostly save though, if they weren't natural savers I might impose an amount that had to be saved. 

 

Occasionally I will pay for an extra or more difficult "chore" but usually chores are just part of everyday life. We used to have chore charts but I wasn't good about keeping them up and it seemed to breed an attitude of "that's all I have to do". So now they are expected to help as needed. Certain jobs are usually theirs: gathering trash, putting away their own laundry, cleaning their bathroom, picking up their own toys/items. But I will often ask them to do other stuff and expect them to do it. The goal is that they become people who see what needs to be done and do it even if it isn't "their responsibility". Both dh and I have that attititude and I find it makes the household run smoothly. 

[Guest]

Another vote for allowance and chores not linked.

 

I give allowance once a month, because it was too difficult to have the proper amounts and denominations of bills. This is still an issue, but at least it's only an issue once a month! :D

[foxbridgeacademy]

Mine don't get paid for chores, the cleaning/helping is part of being a family.  I do pay them $5 per week for doing their school work, school is their job.  I need to up DS allowance he does do extra around the house and more school then DD.  

[LucyStoner]

Chores because you live here and you don't be to be a slob or get out of your chores by giving up your allowance. The volume of chores is based on age, not pay and you aren't an employee so you don't get paid for doing what you should do.

 

Allowance because you live here and you get a share of the family income. We want them to learn to save and manage money. They get $1/year of day/payday. So that is $5 and $10 every two weeks. There have been some bright spots (saving all year for Lego Mindstorms, giving $2 a week to Doctors without Borders on his own initiative) and some learning moments (buying a new hero factory set each and every time he had enough and then realizing that he'd spent a small fortune on little sets when he could have had something he'd like more for the same outlay if he had saved it.) They are both on a savings kick right now.

 

My theory was that we wouldn't exempt them from chores if we didn't have money to pay them, would we? This theory was born out when I quit my job to stay home. That was more than 50% of our income. Our old system of $1/year old age/week wasn't financially sustainable, at least for now. We explained that we were cutting back our income for specific reasons and that as such, allowance would be every two weeks vs. one. I am glad I didn't tie it to chores because if I had, it would have been perfectly reasonable for my older son (the only one impacted since my younger son was too young for allowance then) to ask for 1/2 as many chores, lol. We will bump it back up when my husband graduates and our income rebounds.

[kroe1]

My kiddos do not have chores or allowances. That is not to say they do not help out.

 

But, if I was trying to create a financial learning experience, then I would give them a monthly stipend, take 25% out for rent, 20% for food and clothing, 15% for transportation and chauffeuring, 10% for savings! and the rest for taxes. Now that would simulate adult life.

[kiwik]

I have promised ds6 $2 a week when he turns 7 but have explained that at seven he has officially stopped being a young child and has to start helping round the house (they do stuff with me when asked but he is too easily distracted to be asked to do something by himself).

[DawnM]

We just give allowance of $25/mo to all 3 boys.  They never spend it, or rarely spend it......all 3 boys have over $500 in their "allowance accounts" so really it is pointless other than to have a savings.

 

However, we don't tie it to chores.  Chores are simply what needs to be done.

 

I DO however pay for some extras.......my almost 10 year old will spend over an hour cleaning the kitchen and do a fantastic job.  He will even organize and wipe down cupboards.  I pay him for those extras.

 

Dawn

[dancingmama]

Thanks for all the food for thought.  Definitely will be taking a lot of these ideas into consideration.  I see a lot of merit in many of your views. 

[LostSurprise]

Chores are not connected to allowance. If I'm having a problem with chores it's connected to screen time (if they can't get their chores done obviously some kind of priority is out of whack so we talk about that). Boys have 1 chore a day (except Sunday), two chores daily in the summer, and help when needed. For us, having a written chore schedule helps because at least one of my teens works better under a written schedule, not a parent telling them what to do. Otherwise he can get to feel that we're interrupting him on purpose. Controling his own schedule is good for him. 

 

Allowance is paid out every other week. $1/per year of age. 10% is for tithing or charity (they choose where it goes but I collect the money from children under 12 and we keep it in a special place until they can deliver it). 25% goes into their savings banks. A few weeks before Christmas we count the Savings and they split it in half. Half they get immediately (for gifts or just for themselves). Half goes into a Savings Account. 

 

It's a little complicated but it's what works. We have at least one child who is working out impulsive spending right now. I'd rather he did it as a teen then as an adult. It's also good practice for deciding what's important to them and how saving money works.