Teens and cell phones

[thepoteetteam]

Do your teens have cell phones? We have one 'family phone'. It's a old flip cell phone. My oldest is 17. We are 'thinking' about getting him a cell for Christmas. We are super duper cautious internet freaks........very conservative about all electronic usage. I worry about the possible cons of cell phones. Is there good ways to control what they can view? I'd love any suggestions .....

[bettyandbob]

I view the cell phone as a safety device. As soon as dc are going places without mom and dad they get a phone (12?) . There are no pay phones anywhere anymore and I don't want them dependent on asking others to call me/dad/home.

 

Dh has a smart phone he uses for work.

 

Older ds, dd and I have cell phones , but not smart phones. Most phones now are capable of all smart phone use, but you do not have to enable it. I currently have a blackberry curve which will only make voice and text calls. No internet, no emails, just basic communication. You have to look at individual models to figure out how easy it is to limit to text and voice only, every model is different.

[City Mouse]

There are still phones available that are not smart phones with limited Internet access. My DD18 does not have a smart phone, but that is because I am not paying an extra $50/60 a month for it. You could also get a pay as you go phone and give him a bundle of minutes with it. If he goes over then he would have to pay for it himself, but I don't know that I would give that as a Christmas gift.

[J-rap]

If you're worried about what they view, stick with the flip phone style.  Most teens didn't have cell phones when my oldest were in high school, but eventually all of my kids got one, the youngest at about 14 -- it just made my life easier for them to have one, and I felt they were a little safer having one as well.  (It has become more and more difficult to find pay phones anymore, too.)  Because smart phones were really not an option yet when we first started getting phones, all we got were the "dumb" phones and actually, that's all everyone still has except for me.  :)  They are perfectly content with their old fashioned cell phones, but are they ever nice to have.  We have a family plan where you just pay $10.00 or so extra per month for an extra phone.  Two of my children actually just have a TracFone which is a pay-as-you-go phone.  I think cell phones are wonderful.

[lynn]

We had a family cell phone my boys took with them when they were young teens.  When they turned 16 they got smart phones.   My ds worked closing at Arby's so I liked that he would text what time he left work or if he was staying at a friends house or not.  Gave me peace to sleep at night to get those texts.  If I woke up and they weren't home by curfew it was comforting to see a text that they were playing xbox at friends house and are staying the night.

[Cindy in FL.]

My 18 & 16 yos have dumb phones. They don't need internet access on their phones in my opinion.

[Laura Corin]

I don't know if this is still available where you are, but both my boys have non-smart phones with no data packages.   They can call and text only.  I have the same.  Husband has a smart phone for work.

 

L

[lynn]

Yep, that is what we have.  I don't even think I can text with mine.  Maybe, I never tried.  You can't surf the web though.

You probably can text but it takes longer to type out the text on a basic phone.

[Pawz4me]

We haven't had a land line in years, so we rely on cell phones.  When each of our boys was old enough to stay home alone (10-11) they got their own dumb phone.  Oldest DS got a smart phone when he was 16, and youngest will be getting one when the contract on his current phone runs out in the spring.  Note that we are about as polar opposite of "super duper cautious internet freaks" as could be, so take my opinion for what it's worth to you.  But IMO it would be very ostracizing being a teen nowadays w/o at least a texting plan on a basic phone, and I wouldn't want one of my sons going off to college w/o a smart phone.  We've always given our kids pretty full internet freedom and have never had any issues.  But then I'm of the opinion that the more taboo/forbidden you make something the more tempting it becomes.  I know that approach can backfire, but so far (knock wood) it's worked well for us.

[mom31257]

Dd has an ipod and a laptop, so she didn't need internet on her phone. We have wi-fi in the house. She did; however, need a cell phone because she performs in plays, goes out with friends, and volunteers at the library. She isn't driving yet, so we needed a reliable way for her to contact us when she needs to be picked up, etc.  We bought a $30 Tracfone that has a full keyboard. It gives triple of the minutes of whatever card you buy. She could access the internet but not well. The phone itself would make it difficult to do much.  She can text for 3/10 of a minute each. A card for $20 gives 60 minutes or 180 minutes on her phone. 

 

 

[marbel]

You probably can text but it takes longer to type out the text on a basic phone.

 

I have a basic dumbphone and I can text.  Yes, it's slow but serviceable.  I don't use texting for long conversations, just for conveying information.  My daughter's phone is basic but has a querty keyboard so she can text more easily, which is fine because she and a few friends use that as their main method of conversation.  

 

I'm not personally against teens having smartphones but for us it's been unnecessary so far - both in terms of need and expense.  My kids do envy their friends with smartphones but they are not prepared to pay for their data, so... they wait.  We'll revisit it if the need comes up. 

 

 

 

 

[Joanne]

Ok, you asked for feedback. My kids jave smartphones.

 

I believe it is important and valuable for teens to have increasingly autonomy and responsibility. That does not have to mean cell phones, of course, but it can.

 

I also believe it is helpful and appropriate to find ways for teens to be culturally normative. This can be informed by family values and should include coaching and discussion. Homeschoolers are already a major step away from cultural norms at a time when, developmentally they value peer conformity.

 

I'd like to ask, what, for teens, do you feel the need to continue at super restrictive levels of electronic and Internet usage,

[saw]

My 15 yos have one smartphone they can share, and a "dumb" phone for when they each need one. I got the smartphone option because where we live public transport is not the most reliable and trains/buses may be diverted or cancelled. I wanted them to have access to maps online and transport info so they can figure out how they can get back home if necessary.

[Lolly]

Will he be heading to college soon? If so, it is probably time to stop worrying about monitoring his internet usage. I have found that a smart phone for use in college is extremely helpful for my dc. My girls have found that group texting is often used for communication and doesn't really work with a nonsmart phone. They make flash cards that they can practice from their phones (dd#1carried them the old fashioned way...cell phone makes things so much easier). Transportation routes for the school's buses and maps for buildings are online. Basically, since we have gone to smart phones this year, life has gotten much easier at school for dc. The college campuses have wifi, so very little data usage occurs. 

[DawnM]

My 3 boys all have flip phones right now but they are complaining that it is near impossible to text on those things.  I do understand.  I couldn't text with those things either.

 

There are many alternatives to getting a full on all access smart phone if $$ is a concern.  A used smartphone put on a pay as you go plan works great.  Internet only for wifi but phone and texting can be used outside of wifi.

 

Dawn

[Harriet Vane]

We all have cell phones, including my 12yo and 16yo. I call it their "electronic leash." None of the phones have internet capability. I check their texts from time to time, and they are never allowed to text or use the phone while socializing with others in person or while "on task" (school work or other jobs).

 

I consider it a safety measure. I can easily reach them, and they can easily keep me updated on where they are and who they are with. If they ever feel unsafe or get in an accident, they can call me or for other appropriate help easily. I feel much, much better about their forays into the wide world knowing that they have a cell phone (especially since my older teen is driving).

[Amy in NH]

If you're worried about cost get him a bare bones tracfone.  IMO the idea that you are super duper careful about internet access with a 17 year old is silly, though.  Your teen will be an adult in less than a year.  You're not doing them a service by sheltering them to the extreme from a world which they will soon be entering.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Youngest has my old smartphone and oldest bought herself an older G2.  No data plans, they can use them on wi-fi though but they are perfectly serviceable as regular texting and calling phones away from wi-fi.  The extra phones on our family plan cost $10/month each.

They don't use them much for internet, mostly just facebook and snapchat.  We have no house phone. 

[Trish]

I think it would be good for a 17-year-old approaching adulthood to start having/using a cell phone. He'll inevitably need one in his adult life, which is not far off.

[teachermom2834]

My teens don't have smart phones but they do have dumb phones that are good for texting. I have found texting to be a great communication tool for relating to teenage boys. I love that my kids can text me anytime for any reason. My kids text me frequently when away from home just to chat and share updates with me about what they are doing. I love that they can easily send me a text sharing some bit of their life with me that they wouldn't have if they had to call or they would have forgotten to share with me later. They'll tell me a funny story or that they ran into an old friend or that they just ate something delicious, etc. The small stuff of relationship building.

 

I'm resisting smartphones as long as I can but I am all for texting.

[bettyandbob]

Adding to what I said earlier. The main reason my kids don't have smart phones is cost. Our monthly phone bill would significantly increase if we were paying for more than text and voice. I don't have issues with my teens internet us. Both of my teens have computers and use the internet for a wide range of things. 

[albeto.]

I'd love any suggestions .....

 

Get your kids cellphones and let them learn to be internet savvy. That's the only way they can stay internet safe.

[Lolly]

Adding to what I said earlier. The main reason my kids don't have smart phones is cost. Our monthly phone bill would significantly increase if we were paying for more than text and voice. I don't have issues with my teens internet us. Both of my teens have computers and use the internet for a wide range of things. 

 

Dh refused to let the kids have smart phones because of the cost. Then, I actually went into the store and compared the cost. Our bill actually decreased by changing to smart phones. Dh was already on a data plan for work. Switching from the plan we were on to a share everything plan with low data usage was cheaper than the old plan with $10 for each extra line. (There are a lot of us and it took two plans to cover everyone on the old one.) We are all on wifi, so data isn't a problem. We are just careful not to use it outside of wifi areas.

[gardenmom5]

there are "kid" phones that are pretty basic and don't have the bells and whistles of being able to do very much.  he's going to be 18 next year .  .

 

 

[Jilly]

I think it would be good for a 17-year-old approaching adulthood to start having/using a cell phone. He'll inevitably need one in his adult life, which is not far off.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[Rebel Yell]

We all have Tracfones. Paid about $10 for each one, and average cost is $10/month each for 3 of our phones. BabyBaby has a hand-me-down phone with service good through 2015! Nothing more to pay for until she runs out of minutes, but she only uses about 2/week.  Diamond pays for her own- $25/month GoPhone with unlimited texting and 500 talk minutes per month, no data plan.

 

Our tracfones "can" go on the mobile web, BUT it is painfully slow, sucks up minutes like crazy, and is generally not at all worth it.

[SailorMom]

We have very simple flip phones with no data.  Makes everything pretty simple  We can all text and call, and that's it.

[texasmama]

Dh, oldest dd in college and I have smart phones. We are about to buy a cheap dumb phone for family use for my sons, one of which has expressed a desire to attend church youth group meetings and the other of whom will be volunteering at the Humane Society without a parent. The only requirements for the family phone are cheap and texting/calling ability. My sons are just turned 13 and about to turn 11.

 

ETA: Oldest dd has had a smart phone since 16.